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dropped in and- OH GOD WHY [worm] [SI] [dead right now due to plotbunny)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Numach, Apr 26, 2019.

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  1. Threadmarks: Well down the rabbit hole
    Numach

    Numach Lazy leviathan, plans on writing

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    Down the rabbit hole

    You now those ‘oh shit’ moments in life, like Kazuma meeting aqua or something like that, well I’m in one of those moments, as a portal with a red looking space whale opened up beside my bed and a FUCKING TENTICALE GRABS ME “ Whale shit.” I say, already bored of this. As it pulls me in all I think is ‘wonder if this is how cross felt’ and blackness.
    As I come to I’m in an room with no window and a door with a desk in front of it. All I have on is a pair of red shorts, a teal polo, and some Jordan sandals, not a good image for a 350 someodd pound 21 year old male with little to no emotional attraction to anyone. Now what shocked me when I got up was aside from my shoulder length dirty blond hair, is that I was fit, like captain America levels of fitness, broad shoulders, 6 pack you could grill meat on, and pecks the size of tree branches, thankfully there’s a mirror in the room.
    “ hmm... seems I’ve been experimented on *smack* still got my fat ass though” I say with a smirk. I walk to the desk to find a computer with a note opened on the monitor that read “welcome to earth-bet, home of the entity Zion, now the reason I’ve taken you from you home is that I want Zion dead, if you kill him you keep all the powers ( of which will be listed below) you earn/gain/steal from the inhabitants of reality,

    ttyn

    Abbadon


    List of powers given

    • power - tinker: small arms{second trigger future weapons}
    • power - tinker: fortifications
    • power - brute: peak condition
    • power - blaster: infinite ammo
    • power - changer: cosmetics shapeshift
    • power - mover: blink
    • Power - negentropy
    “Well fuck , that’s a fuckin list if I ever saw one” I say wide eyes at the list of powers. I head back to the mirror I look to the top of my head finally noticing the weight on it and find horns, draconic horns protruding from my temples “.... Shiiiii”
     
    Last edited: Nov 19, 2019
  2. Extras: Build
    Numach

    Numach Lazy leviathan, plans on writing

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    Build
    scenario gestation April 8 2011

    Path- villain

    Origin- drop in +3 char +3 shard
    Civv identity- no identity + 2 char

    Name Brandon Hensley
    Cape name : unit
    Costume- body suit -1 char point

    Skills- banter - 1 char point
    First aid - 3 char
    Martial arts - 4 char
    Survival -3 char
    Parkour -2 char

    Shard - the outsider - 3 char & 3 shard

    Perks & flaws- case 53 + 1 shard
    Slaughterhouse 9 + 4 char & +2 shard
    Worst day ever + 4 char + 2 shard (taken twice)
    Secret lair - 2 char point
    Power slot - 3 shard
    Negentropy - 5 char & shard
    Plot convenience- 1 char
    Endbringer target +3 char + 4 shard
    Second trigger - 4 char - 3 shard

    Gift - payoff

    Powers small arms - 3 shard ( second trigger- future weapons )
    Infinite ammo -1’shard
    Peak condition - 1 shard
    Blink - 5 shard
    Fortifications- 7 shard
    Cosmetic shapeshift - 1 shard

    Path specific gang other
    Perks mooks - 2 char
    Money - 3 char
    Flaw - kill order + 6 char and shard

    Meta - essence-
    Mad doctor
    Dragon:
    five leg tendrils, four armed, black scaled dragon with molten veins, magma, plasma, and crystal manipulation , 3 foot claws 10 meters tall six wings, 10 back tendrils
    Archmage:
    dnd, Harry Potter, Naruto, T.e.s
     
    Last edited: May 24, 2019
  3. Mkaius

    Mkaius Versed in the lewd.

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    Aren’t Peak condition Martial arts and Cosmetic Shapeshift redundant if he drank essence of the warlord?
     
    Trek, Arch2431 and Numach like this.
  4. Threadmarks: Same day new pain
    Numach

    Numach Lazy leviathan, plans on writing

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    same day new pain

    ”well this is a bitch” I say staring down the barrel of a smith & Wesson model 60- wait “ how in the fu- small arms” I mutter to my self as the druggy pilferes my pocket “ the fuck you say nazi bitch” druggy says. “ ok fuck this” I say taking a swing at his head with my fist haymaker. As he falls I grab the gun and point it at him “‘well isn’t that fun now I got your gun, and you our on you ass” I say deadpan with no fucks to be given “ ou bro’e m’ j’w s’idmar’ ‘Ill you” he says before I curb stomp the cunt.

    As I walk away I feal a tapping on my shoulder, I turn around to see a man in a red bodysuit with a v shape on the chest “ ...yes?” I ask “your under arest for Assault of a minor” he tells me in a stern voice. “....nope” I tell him as I blink behind him and try to shoot him but hit the druggy in the chest. Redman turn and decks me with a right hook as I pull the trigger, grazing him this time “well you a sprite one aren’t ya” I say with a grin and a southern drawl. He says not he as he runs toward me, I blink past him “ too bad you can’t catch me “ I say giving a joker like bow before blinking down the alley done with his shit.

    I blink down the alleys to a portapotty and hide in it, I stay there as foot falls move past it down the alley I slip out and blink down the adjacent alley and ring a manholecover and go down it. As I move through the sewer I think of what I just committed to “ well fuck me sideways, I killed someone. Fuck, no backing down now.”. As I get back to my lair I’m wiped out; so I head to the cot and sleep.

    When I wake up I feel as though my head is being drilled with an spike of molten rock “ fuuuuuck... “ I groan out as I head to the desk with computer and go to pho



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    ♦️New villain in the bay♦️
    Bagrat
    (guy in the know)
    so today is a sad day for the merchants as one of theirs was shot and killed yesterday afternoon in the crossfire of a fight between velocity and a new villain when velocity tried to arest him.

    ”thank god he wasn’t the flash “ I say shaking slightly from the thought, as I get up to stretch I start to crackle with energy “hmm.. looks like archmage is active as well ... phew” I think as I fire a magic missle into the darkness “ FUCK” a feminine voice cry’s out before falling to the ground with a thud.

    ”huh” I mutter stunned as a stare at her
     
    Last edited: Apr 26, 2019
  5. Numach

    Numach Lazy leviathan, plans on writing

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    Just letting ya know this is my first time writing anything
     
    Last edited: Apr 26, 2019
  6. Numach

    Numach Lazy leviathan, plans on writing

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    Yeah it is huh
     
  7. Ack

    Ack (Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)

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    Interesting start.

    Only a Merchant would try to mug someone wearing horns on their head.

    I would, however, suggest getting a beta-reader. It would make it much easier to read.
     
    Thief of Words, DJ Heroin and Numach like this.
  8. Numach

    Numach Lazy leviathan, plans on writing

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    Yeah yeah it would but I don’t know who would do that
     
    Oniele likes this.
  9. Oniele

    Oniele Not too sore, are you?

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    Your grammar is a little bad. I volunteer my help for that.
     
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  10. Numach

    Numach Lazy leviathan, plans on writing

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    The help would be greatly appreciated
     
    Thief of Words and Oniele like this.
  11. DJ Heroin

    DJ Heroin Getting out there.

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    Holy shit, are you sure you didn't take a Speed Force connection somewhere in that build? The rate you've moved through the "stations of canon" as they apply to SI into worm, especially CYOA variants is Insane. Impressive no doubt, but insanely fast. Still, despite being rough around the edges, looks interesting, and respect to the initiative to write/post.
     
    Numach likes this.
  12. Numach

    Numach Lazy leviathan, plans on writing

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    Thanks for the compliment and I’m new so pacing is not a thing I’m good at
     
  13. Threadmarks: A wild armsmaster apears
    Numach

    Numach Lazy leviathan, plans on writing

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    A wild armsmaster appears

    Having tied the girl clothed in black, I went to my desk; ideas of what to do to the model 60 brimming at the forefront of my mind. ‘Ok, I think I can...do a full remodel of this. Change it into an eight chambered one, with a larger grip and longer barrel.’ by this point the concept is …was coming along nicely. Yet, there was something missing.

    I rub my chin, ‘Maybe larger bullets? Something like 5.56?’ a look at the gun is enough to break my chain of thought, the tinker fugue dissipating as quickly as it came. An embarrassed laugh escaped me as I finally noticed the biggest problem with the designs my mind is supplying.

    With all the changes I might as well make one from scratch. I nod, “If it’s impossible I might make a Gauss pistol or Bolter, their principles uaren’t that complicated. That’s a choice for another time though.”

    ‘For now let’s see if there’s anything I can wear as a costume.’


    It took some time of skulking through the room, but I finally found something to use. It’s a bodysuit. A little revealing for my tastes but nothing that can’t be fixed.

    I run a hand through the mask, feeling every crevice, enjoying the texture of the somewhat smooth wood. It was white with two dark holes where the eyes are supposed to go. Nothing extraordinary but the simplistic design had a charm of its own. It needs upgrades.

    Posing in front of a mirror, I flex to admire my new self. I can’t do this forever though, and so I begin my trek to the door-BOOM- an explosion, it rocked me slightly, the suddenness of the event disorienting me for a moment.

    “-the fuck was that!” I exclaim, my tone making evident I am startled.

    Running to the manhole cover I lift it slightly. A give a quick look to make sure no one is around; once confirmed I waste no time to leave the sewers. I pick up a sound at the distance, a low rumbling, “Well shit.”

    I sigh in resignation, ‘Time to meet the cast then.’ Blinking at the sight of the explosion site I immediately find myself face-to-halberd with Armsmaster.

    “Oh shit!”

    Trying to appear non-threatening, I shift my arms to the side showing the palms, “the fuck’s your problem tin head.”

    His blue and white armor gleams under the light, a warm and fuzzy feeling spread through my stomach, my slightly rude tone seemed to have ruffled his feathers, the tightening of his jaw a clear indicator, “You are coming with me.” his intonation is flat, but not enough to hide the undercurrent of irritation.

    “Yeeeah no, I’m going to say no thanks to that.” I reply, the words coming out as a droll, “Name’s Unit by the by-” I slap the halberd aside as I dive into his guard and throw a punch at his throat.
     
  14. Ryven Razgriz

    Ryven Razgriz Not too sore, are you?

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    My man OP-kun, ye need to look out fer yer spelling or them Spelling Nazis be out lookin' fer yer blood mate.

    Also, you need to increase the length of each post, consolidate them into one large post if you want or write the next one long enough, more than exactly 1k words since anything less and people, like me, can and will take short posts like these as if you're just corresponding with your readers instead of you know, actually posting a chapter.
     
    Numach and NordicBirch like this.
  15. Numach

    Numach Lazy leviathan, plans on writing

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    thanks for the input, and i and my beta oniele shall stey ou damndest upon the next update
     
  16. Swiftwolfbeta

    Swiftwolfbeta Versed in the lewd.

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    He didn't even get into who the girl was and he should totally record what happens to him and show of the ammout of understandings the per have shove on to him he can still hated by the per but it said nothing about the general public
     
  17. Gindjurra

    Gindjurra Versed in the lewd.

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    First, the term decking refers to punching someone so hard they fall over, not the punch itself. The classic modern example being the knockout game. You hit them and they hit the deck — usually stunned or unconscious. If you have been decked, you’re not going to be standing, running or shooting a breath later.

    Second, he’s ridiculously eager to shoot cops in a place he has never been before. Is that typical of your normal day to day real life attitude, or is the SI not actually a self insert?

    [QUOTE="Numach, post: 2585579, member: 29699”]dive into his guard and throw a punch at his throat.[/QUOTE]

    Again, several problems here. First, going for a killing blow on a guy seems like a royally stupid thing to do almost first thing in a new world. To do it to the local head of the superpowered version of the US Marshals is so much past that, I can’t think of a word for how stupid it is.

    Which makes my second point even harder to articulate, because it’s even stupider than trying to murder a regional federal law enforcement chief, if he’s wearing powered armor when you do it. Powered armor that has a sturdy tinkertech alloy plate right where you’re trying to punch. Powered armor that is immune to your tinkering specialty. Powered armor that lets him survive CQC with enemies like Lung and fucking LEVIATHAN. If you’re lucky you’ll just break your hand, brute rating and all. If you’re not, he’ll break the rest of you to match.

    And if you do kill him, your next match will likely be the Triumvirate, and none of your powers will give you a snowball’s chance in hell against Eidolon or Alexandria.
     
  18. Grimmouse197

    Grimmouse197 Experienced.

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    did they just break the unwritten rules
     
  19. Numach

    Numach Lazy leviathan, plans on writing

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    Considering I don’t really care if I die and see little to no value in life as is the extreme is a lack of empathy
     
    Last edited: Jun 2, 2019
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