Fish Priestess in Trouble (Legend of Zelda Breath of the Wild x Ocarina of Time Crossover Crack AU)

[HiddenMaster]

Fish Priestess in Trouble
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(Of her Own Making)
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01: Time Travel? Is that Tasty?
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Disclaimer:
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A bit of a Zelda Ocarina of Time and Breath of the Wild crossover happening in the OoT timeline. Featuring an OC Zora with DnD warlock powers, time travel and speedrun shenanigans. This is a commissioned work written by Kitsuneobsessedfreak and Hiddenmaster.
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The story is heavily AU, so any resemblance to canon is just the stars aligning that one time and should not be taken as a retelling of the original story.
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Don't read the story while drunk or high, as that can have an adverse effect on retaining in-story details for later comments. We will laugh at you if you try to comment something that didn't happen.
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WARNING:
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There is a PoV in this story that breaks half the rules of narrative writing intentionally and includes frequent butchery of tenses. This is because the character is an eldritch gremlin who has ascended past such petty concerns as the flow of time. You will know him when you see him.
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"Hey, Meruta!" Purah grinned, slapping a machine in her workshop as the Zora entered it. "Remember the time I told you I was going to build a time machine?"

"…Yeah?" Meruta asked, tilting her head as she glanced at the machine. She was curious enough that her large golden head crest was wiggling as she looked at it.

"Well I made it!" Pura grinned. "And you get to be the one to test it!"

"Really?" Meruta asked with a tilt of her head.

It sounded fun and all, but wasn't that a bit dangerous? Meh, she could think of that later. The Spirit of Jabu Jabu was calling to her, and wanted her to try it.

"Okay!" Meruta grinned, stepping up to take a closer look. "Well, how will we get back after?"

"I will call you back from this side once a week has passed!" Purah grinned. "Make sure to take back as many things as you can once you're there!"

"Wouldn't Link be the better choice for that?" Meruta sighed.

"Bah, Link is always hanging around Zelda these days," Purah chuckled. "He has no time for an old lady like me anymore."

Huh. That tracked.

"Okay!" Meruta smiled. "I'll be sure to bring back lots of fish."

"Uh, I want more than just fi—" Purah began, only for Meruta to open the Time machine and peek in.

"Wait! Don't do that! What in the—"

And with a flash of light, Meruta found herself in a body of water — a lake — and surrounded by fish.

"Yay! Fish!" she grinned, splashing and catching some of the fish to eat.

Welp, it was already off to a great start!

…What was she supposed to be doing again?

~~~~
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When she had found herself happy and full of strange fish, a young and strange looking Zora swam up to her and began to talk. "Lord Jabu Jabu has sent me to speak with you," she said, as though she was unsure. "He said you are his champion…"

"I mean, I guess you could call it that?" Meruta asked tilting her head as she looked at the white and blue Zora without a head crest. "I am Meruta, High Priestess of the Spirit of Jabu Jabu from the future! What is your name?"

"Future?" the little Zora asked.

"Nice to meet you Future! I hope you'll take care of me kindly," Meruta smiled prettily.

"Wha- That's not my name!" the white and blue stunted Zora pouted.

"Oh? I see," Meruta did not, in fact see. Maybe it was a difference in translation?

"My name is Ruto! I'm the princess," the little one claimed, crossing her finned arms and pouting harder.

"Oh!" Meruta nodded sagely. "Then I guess that's a good thing. How about you take me to your leader, so we can talk~?"

"…I'm taking you to Lord Jabu Jabu first," Ruto sighed.

Right! That was what she was supposed to be doing, wasn't it?! "Of course! Lead the way little one."

"…Was already doing that," Ruto grumbled, before diving into the water.

Suffice to say, Meruta felt like it was going to be a fantastic day.

~~~~
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"Blurb," Lord Jabu Jabu stated dryly, as Meruta looked around for it everywhere but where it was, right in front of her face.

"I know, Lord Jabu Jabu," Princess Ruto sighed. "But she's our best bet for finding out what's wrong with you at the moment."

"Oh! You need a doctor for this fish?" Meruta smiled. "I can help! I've raised plenty of fish in my life, though never ones this big before!"

"Glurble," Jabu Jabu groaned, before sighing, and sucking them inside.

They could deal with the infection, hopefully. And well, he was already aware how much of a dumbass Meruta was. But he had called her there for a reason.

And that reason? Well, she was stupid, but she was amusing as hell.

Once he was feeling better, he'd have fun watching the chaos.

He felt his insides tickling as she blew cleaning bubbles at everything inside, making him feel even more nauseous.

…Was she freaking serious?

~~~~
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AN:
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Kon~Kon: Welcome to the adventure of Meruta Galeo, the Zora Warlock from the future. Purah is equally guilty of unleashing this calamity upon the Ocarina of Time timeline, but she's not here to accept blame at this time.

Kitsu: Meruta is a fun character to write, because she isn't exactly the brightest bulb in the bunch. And on top of this, she's a character from a setting I actively enjoy, unlike D&D, so it will make it easier on me to write this one.

Not to say that the other one wasn't fun, but more that I had no idea what I was doing for the most part, and wanted to bring others in on it to help, but Kon~kon was a bit hesitant to do so at that point it seemed.

Welp, if you like this, feel free to support me on my website here https://aikoakiyoshi.carrd.co/

 

[HiddenMaster]

Fish Priestess in Trouble
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(Of her own Making)
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02: It Certainly Smells Like Fish In Here!
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"It certainly smells like fish in here," Meruta nodded, looking around the area of the big fish that Ruto had taken them to.

Ruto gave Meruta a stare. "He eats fish. A lot of fish."

…

"How do you not know this?" the Zora princess asked.

"Well, to be fair, I guess we are related to fish," Meruta chuckled, staring at the platforms around them as she popped another Jellyfish. "But yeah, this Bigger Fish needs to be dewormed, right? We could probably do something like that, I guess?"

Ruto wrinkled her nose. "You're not wrong, but something about the way you said that makes me mad on Jabu Jabu's behalf."

"Oh! Lord Jabu Jabu would forgive me if he was watching this," Meruta stated with a whimsical smile. "But first, we need to find the deworming tool. It should be in one of the fleshy rooms!"

Ruto watched Meruta promptly skip off to the left into another fleshy room she knew from past experience to be a dead end and facepalmed.

Meruta was the strangest Zora the princess had ever met, and she knew her dad.

"Oh!" the strange Zora smacked into the wall and bounced off. "So it's not that way, but around here!"

"I could have told you that," Ruto said, following after Meruta. Deeper into Jabu Jabu's belly they went.

One thing Ruto would give Meruta, she could at least deal with the monster jellyfish floating around. Those things were annoying and not something Ruto could really deal with. Maybe Meruta was more the 'big buff' type of champion, like those big guards her dad took when out and about in and around Lake Hylia?

"Ooh! These ones feel tingly," Meruta giggled as she poked the new parasites popping up out of the floor. "I guess that means I gotta freeze them, right?"

Ruto frowned, getting a bad feeling. She knew what ice was, and the surface of Lake Hylia could get cold in winter, but not that bad. But…

The princess raised a hand. "Is that a good idea inside—"

"I cast Ice Knife!" Meruta grinned, conjuring a serrated dagger of ice. Then, she grinned. "And mage hand!"

Sure enough, the knife started floating away and fighting the electric parasites all on its own.

Ruto's hand slowly fell, her frills going slack as she watched the knife chase the suddenly scared and fleeing electric parasites on its own. "Okay. That worked, somehow."

"The Mysteries of Lord Jabu Jabu the Fathomless are vast and unknowable," Meruta nodded, her hands clasped in prayer.

"Well, as long as you don't stab it into the walls, it's probably fine," Ruto commented.

They continued, Ruto guiding Meruta around to find more of the parasites and spot trouble places, although Meruta seemed to have a nose for that on her own.

Eventually, they came into a large room and Ruto…

Eeped, hiding behind Meruta.

There were a ton of parasitic tentacles, rays, and other nasties swarming the room, feeding off Lord Jabu Jabu's blood.

"Oh hey! Plenty of targets!" Meruta laughed. "I cast haste!" she declared, grabbing her ice knife and moving so fast it seemed as though she was simply blending the parasites into a fine slurry.

"Oh sweet goddesses I think I'm gonna be sick," Ruto said, covering her mouth and trying her hardest not to throw up inside Jabu Jabu's belly. She'd been scolded by her mom once for trying to pee while inside Jabu Jabu. That scolding had been pounded into her head. But this…

She wasn't a stranger to a bit of fish guts. All Zora liked their fish, after all. But she was a stranger to seeing them utterly liquified into a fine slurry and partially covering the smiling slayer.

"Ahahahaha!" Meruta laughed as the last one died. "That was fun, we should do that again."

As if to mock Meruta, a chest fell down and hit her on the head.

"Ah! A Mimic!" she cried out, breaking the chest into a thousand little pieces.

Swallowing past her nausea, Ruto looked up. "Um. Mimic? I don't know what that is, but, uh… it's dead now?"

"Ah. Yeah! It's dead!" Meruta proudly announced. "I think!" she paused for a moment, "But it's being very stubborn about looking like a broken chest with an item in it."

Ruto slowly inched closer, but the chest looked really broken. Like, professionally broken, like someone had paid someone to totally ruin a chest so it would never ever be used again. The largest splinter was as big as her pinkie at this point.

Poking it with her foot, Ruto dislodged a few pieces and found and a curved piece of polished wood with a red gem that had survived Meruta's smashing, somehow. "I think this was in the chest?" she said, holding it out to Meruta.

"Huh," Meruta looked at it, picking it out of Ruto's hand and feeling it's weight. "Feels like garbage really," she claimed, throwing it away.

But it came back around as she turned away, and smacked her in the back of the head.

"Ouch! What hit me?" she asked, looking around like she had no clue what could have done so.

"The stick?" Ruto said, picking it up and handing it back to Meruta.

"Huh, it feels like trash though," Meruta noted, before throwing it away and turning away again.

Ruto watched, nearly transfixed, as the exact same thing happened again. It came sailing back to hit Meruta up side the head, almost angry about being thrown away.

Suddenly, a gremlin mood took Ruto. "Here you go," she said, handing the discarded stick back to Meruta and standing back to watch with a smirk on her face.

"Huh, the trash stick comes back?" she asked. "Maybe if I throw it harder it will stay away?"

So she wound back and threw it harder…

And it came back faster.

But this time, Meruta started running away immediately with a shriek.

"Ruuuuuuuun! It's cursed!" Meruta shouted as the stick kept chasing her, no matter what she did.

Ruto couldn't help it. She fell over laughing hysterically, clutching her belly. Every time she was close to recovering, she'd look up and see Meruta still screaming as the curved stick closed in on her. Then Ruto would lose it again, smacking the fleshy walls as she struggled for breath.

She laughed so hard she almost didn't notice the fleshy sphincter entrance to the room opening up…

~~~~
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AN:
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Kon-Kon: Meruta can be a bit ditzy as seen here. Her brain is mostly fight- or fish-coded in that sense. Hopefully she'll get better after the timeskip.

HiddenMaster: Meanwhile, Ruto discovers an impish side and delights in it.

This can only end well.

Kitsu: You will do great things, Ruto. Terrible, but great.

Anyways, links!

Kitsu's Foxxo Shrine: https://aikoakiyoshi.carrd.co/

HiddenMaster's Archive: https://hiddenmasterarchive.carrd.co/

 

[HiddenMaster]

Fish Priestess in Trouble
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(Of her Own Doing)
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03: The Hero of Ti#$%$@%#ERROR#%#$
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Run #2,329,432

The being known as 'Link' had found few anomalies this run.

Townsfolk 232 had been out of place in conjunction with Townsfolk 239, but that was within expected parameters due to the affair discovered in Run #10,323. Otherwise, it was standard and otherwise not notable.

Until Jabu Jabu, that is.

First, there had been no message in a bottle from Princess Ruto to discover, meaning he utilizes shortcut 233 to bypass projected paths to reach Jabu Jabu utilizing the fish in a bottle gambit.

Secondly, inside Jabu Jabu, Link finds most enemies absent. This was highly anomalous. Enemies were prevalent, and everywhere. They never stopped. Predictable, but relentless.

The sight of smashed pots makes Link pause. He analyzed the remains, and found they were, indeed, broken, and not a result of hallucinogenic poison.

For the first time in five hundred runs, Link finds himself feeling emotion.

Somone took his pots. He smashes pots, not anyone else.

Finally, Link finds a sound that was genuinely and totally unexpected.

Laughter.

That was such a deviation from expected parameters it made his brain briefly shut down and just process. The last time he'd found something so unexpected in a run he'd found a naked, giant muscle man sprinting through the Hyrule fields in place of the normal running man shouting about democracy and freedom.

What was so strange was his lack of pointed ears. What kinda freak was he? Had this strange Hylian been driven to cut his ears? Was he a deviant? Who would even think to do such a thing?

Fortunately, he never appeared in another run, so Link had treated it as a freak anomaly and nothing else.

Link, rebooting, entered the fleshy aperture, and saw…

Princess Ruto laughing, on her belly smacking the fleshy floor of Jabu Jabu's belly, as another anomalous Zora, presumed female due to mammary glands with yellow scales and different head structures, ran in circles screaming as the boomerang chased her at ever increasing speeds.

Categorizing and assigning name Zora Anomaly #3. Distinct yellow scales, divergent head tendrils, notable speed. Rival to Epona? Potential mount?

Finally, it bonked the anomalous Zora. She crashed into the ground. He holds his hand out, catching the boomerang as it rebounds and lands in his hand.

Then there was silence.

The laughter of Princess Ruto slowly ebbed. She eeped on seeing Link as he stands before her. The Zora hastily stood, straightening out her webbing sheepishly. "Oh, hello! I was not expecting a Hylian in here. Did Father send you to try and help with Jabu Jabu's tummy ache?"

"…" Link responds, delivering all relevant remarks to Princess Ruto. Unexpected location aside, she was in relevant parameters.

"Why does the world feel squishy?" Meruta asked, standing up shakily before casting a spell on herself that seemed to steady her footing. Then, she looked at Princess Ruto with a bright smile. "Oh! Right! I'm inside a big fish with my new friend!"

For the first time in ten thousand runs, Link spoke. It felt alien, making his words come out instead of in the conventional '…', but it was necessary. This anomaly was too extreme.

"What. Are. You?​" Link asks. The world shuddered, his speech alien and unknown.

"I am Meruta of course! Priestess of the Spirit of Jabu Jabu the Fathomless!" the anomaly claimed. "I come from the future!"

Anomaly label change suggested. Accept? Yes/no?

Accept yes.

Zora Anomaly #3 subname 'Meruta' accepted.

Future? Link is aware of time travel. Tests showed all beings could travel through time, as shown when he brought future Zelda to the past in effort to see changes if aware Zelda as Sheik could elicit changes in the timeline.

But that had always, always, been through Link's own doing. He had never seen another being show up, and moreover, he never encounters a Zora like Meruta.

The mystery deepens.

Link nods at her words, before stepping closer to inspect Meruta. He then began collecting information. Adult. Standard fishy smell. Smooth scales. Edible? He grabs her hand and brings it to his mouth to determine edibility.

"Eh? What are you doing?" Meruta asked as he tried to chew on her. "Are you like… special? Momma said I was growing up, so I can relate!"

Link discards her words. Her edibility is at standard levels. Emergency food if necessary, but incredibly unlikely. Taming method unknown.

Link takes out his ocarina and begins playing every song and variant known to see if Zora Anomaly #3, Meruta, responds.

Meruta clapped happily. "Bravo, good music is always nice! I can sing you a song if you'd like?"

"… What is even happening right now?" Princess Ruto asked, looking between the two.

Link straightens. New song? Potential new paths, new places to use it, new possibilities? YES PLEASE.

Link nods rapidly at the anomaly's words.

Meruta sang a song. It felt oddly familiar, but he had no clue where it might be from, though he felt as if he did and would in some way.

Link flawlessly plays back the song, having memorized every note perfectly and awaited the effect.

A light shone from Meruta's eyes as she made a strange fish face, but it sputtered out soon after. "Woooo! You did it! Very awesome!"

Link observes and notes the facial expression, but finds no other reaction in the environment. Unfortunate, but many songs…

He thinks they had to be experimented with? It has been so long since he first learned a song that the memory is hazy. It felt strange, like that Link didn't know what he was doing, or was even… scared?

Scared of predictable parameters?

"…Are you okay?" Princess Ruto asked. "You're crying."

Link blinks, finds tears. Strange, there is no irritant beyond stomach acid in here. That's when he spots it.

The Zora's Saphire.

The changes in the predicted run were unknown. This was already the strangest and most unpredictable run in ages. But now he had been given something incredibly rare.

A shortcut.

"…" Link relays to Princess Ruto.

"Oh, my special gem? But my mother gave it to me and said I can only give it to a special person," Princess Ruto predictably said. She had never once relinquished it without clearing Jabu Jabu, but…

Parameters achieved. Link immediately took off side jumping out of the fleshy cavern, taking the path to the master parasite.

If this worked out, he could have a 10 minute time skip!

~~~~
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Princess Ruto frowned as the strange but handsome boy sprinted out of the room with his sword drawn.

"That was strange," she commented to Meruta.

"He seemed very special," Meruta beamed. "I wonder if he'll be our friend?"

"Maybe? We'll have to see. Oh! Think he'll clear out Jabu Jabu before you?" Princess Ruto said.

"Oh no! We have to catch up!" Meruta picked Ruto up over her head with a worried expression. "Let's go save the day!"

"Why are you holding me up over your head like this? It's weird!" Ruto called out to Meruta.

"It seemed appropriate!" Meruta said as she took off with a run.

This was the weirdest day ever and Ruto felt like it wasn't even half over yet.

~~~~
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AN:
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Kon~Kon: Link is eldritch. Too much speedrunning causes brainrot.

HiddenMaster: Link has been playing Ocarina of Time far, far longer than anyone ever should.

I'm not sure he can be called human anymore. Or hylian? You know what I mean.

Kitsu: I got nothing. Other than yes, Link is so eldritch that his tense was deliberately fucked to make it worse.

Links!

Kitsu's Foxxo Shrine: https://aikoakiyoshi.carrd.co/

HiddenMaster's Archive: https://hiddenmasterarchive.carrd.co/

 

[HiddenMaster]

Fish Priestess in Trouble
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(Of Her Own Doing)
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04: The Cycle is Broken
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Princess Ruto and Meruta's steps squished as they followed a path of absolute carnage in Link's wake.

They were in a part of Lord Jabu Jabu's insides Meruta hadn't yet cleared of the monsters infesting him, and somehow it was just so… so…

Brutal.

Biri's turned inside out by Link because he couldn't be bothered to cut them normally, Octoroks tied up somehow in their own tentacles, and other parasites just diced into so many pieces. Individually, it wasn't awful. Ruto was a Zora, and they ate a lot of fish, so she wasn't shy of a few fish guts even if other Zora handled that.

But the practiced ease Link took in just… dismantling, the parasites that had taken hold in Jabu Jabu's belly was disturbing.

The worst was the electric anemone. It started off highly aggressive and fighting Link, but as he dodged every attack with what she at first thought was millimeters to spare but turned out to be the exact distance every single time he knew to be, the thing had started getting afraid.

How did an electric anemone, a monster that usually took a bunch of Zora warriors to defeat, show fear?

Well, it desperately waved its tentacles at them and tried its hardest to flee from Link as he systematically cut it to pieces.

Some of the blood splattered on her.

She looked over to Meruta as the monster fell and writhed. "I think I'm traumatized," Ruto commented.

"The best I can do is cast Silence for the screaming…" Meruta winced, "But I don't think that would be needed here."

"Would've been nice to know that earlier," Ruto commented as the anemone finally went still with a final shudder.

Link, covered in anemone blood dripping from his sword, walked up to them. "…" he said, explaining himself perfectly as he held out his hand.

Ruto sighed. "That was the most horrifying thing I have ever witnessed, but I did promise you the Zora's Saphire. So, please, take care of it. It was my mother's," Ruto said.

She gave Link her precious treasure and closed her eyes. "You are really scary, Link, but, I'm told sometimes you need someone scary to rule with. By giving you my treasure, you are my betrothed, and we will marry some day."

Ruto opened her eyes, expecting to see Link appropriately taking her promise. Instead, she saw the green clothed child warrior carrying Meruta over his head as he sprinted out the nearest aperture.

Blink. Blink.

"What the fu—" the Zora princess began.

~~~~
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Link utilizes movement speed technique 3: side jump to speed across the fields of Hyrule at speeds to rival Epona. He would utilize Epona, but unfortunate, smol Epona was inferior to thicc Epona. With his current speed, they'd get to Hyrule Castle in under an hour, and from there they could get to the Temple of Time.

This run was going to be legendary.

"I know that I'm quite light, but isn't this kinda scary?" Meruta seemingly asked herself. "I mean, you're a kid and all, but I'm pretty sure kids aren't usually strong enough to grab a Zora by the butt and run sideways."

"…" Link explained reasonably, jiggling the Goron bracelet. That he bent his head to stare up at Meruta's face and did not stop moving was merely efficiency.

"Okay! That makes a lot of sense actually," Meruta agreed and seemed to make herself comfortable.

"…" Link will explain her purpose and his plan for the ultimate run they are to complete.

It took several minutes for Meruta to respond, which was coincidentally right after the words actually left his mouth. "Run? But you're already running?"

"…" Link correctly assures her, but he uses run to refer to this cycle of the adventure.

Meruta as a potential mount and figure seemed reasonably powerful by his estimate. How she would fare against Ganondorf was up for debate, but as shown in a previous run, the Triforce of Power could potentially be claimed by others. See Anomalous Postman run.

He would claim the Triforce of Courage, as usual, and similarly Zelda would claim the Triforce of Wisdom. Acquiring all three so early before Ganondorf would mean the cycle would either complete tremendously early, earning him a huge time save, or it would trigger another scenario which would be equally desirable.

For Link, all paths will lead/led/have led to victory.

"…" Link inquires Meruta's thoughts on his plan.

"I dunno, sounds kinda silly," Meruta claimed. "Maybe we should just blast the guy with an Eldritch blast to the face until he stops breathing?"

Link considers the idea and slowly will dismiss it. Ganondorf was no pushover.

As a child, Link had only a 9% success rate against Ganondorf. He was simply too strong, too fast, and had too much magic to win against the majority of the time with so few resources and tools on Link's part. He'd snap the boomerang, ignore the Slingshots, and generally carve up the Deku shield in short order. Even the Kokiri sword would usually start getting nicks and cracks from exchanges with him.

This was without considering Ganondorf's magic.

The only thing that had worked was walking through Ganondorf with a Deku stick in hand. Ganondorf usually adjusted to fireballs to burn them away in short order, leaving Link without many choices.

No, his idea was solid, and a fundamental requirement to end the run early.

They soon came upon Hyrule Castle just as night began to fall.

"Oh my heavens!" a woman screamed as he passed.

"That young man caught a giant fish!" an old man laughed.

"Woof woof!" the dogs tried to follow him.

Meruta puffed up her chest and wiggled a little. "I'm not just any fish," she proclaimed. "I'm a special fishie."

The city folk laughed at this, and he is left unmolested as he will soon walk into the Temple of Time.

"Link! Don't you dare speedrun ahead of me again!" Zelda roared, rushing after him.

Link acknowledges Zelda with a nod as she side flipped after him.

It had been something of a surprise to see Zelda remembered every run. Sometimes she joined him and helped him complete runs faster, other times she just sipped coffee and threw the Ocarina of Time at him from her bedroom window.

They made their way into the Temple of Time without issue, well ahead of the time Ganondorf usually will try to make his way in. Link places the spirit stones, opening the gates to the Master Sword.

Within, Link finally put Meruta down and approached his favorite blade in all of existence.

"By the Sages Link," Zelda huffed and puffed. "At least let me get a warm up before rushing off like a maniac!"

"I dunno," Meruta smiled. "He seems pretty normal to me."

Link tilted his head. "…" he said. He has given her a warm up. She even got a breather in the moment they will have while he pulls the Master Sword.

The steps to the Master Sword were familiar, as was itself. It seemed to resonate with him as he approached, just as it always did.

A constant, throughout every run, throughout every cycle. The Master Sword will always be eager to return to his hands, and he to wield it.

It was just meant to be.

The sword ripped free of the stone, and Link held it up as the world quaked at their reuniting.

"My beloved. We reunite.​"

Oddly, the seven year time skip did not occur. Link blinked, realizing he was still a child.

The Triforce slowly descended from high above.

Link's hand shot out, grabbing the Triforce of Courage and pulling it into his inventory.

Same as the Master Sword. It was his. No one else's.

Zelda received the Triforce of Wisdom, as expected. But this time, it smacked her in the head and sunk in violently like it was trying to prove a point. Probably because last time Link had swapped Ganondorf and Her Triforce powers, and the Gerudo almost won.

But something funny happened this time.

"Oooh! Cookie!" Meruta said, grabbing the Triforce of power and cringing it like a crispy biscuit, eating it only after chewing it up thoroughly.

…

"Noooooooo!" Ganondorf yelled as he ran into the room. "Thwarted by a mere fish! How could you! How dare you!"

All three wielders of the Triforce leveled, will level, and levels their gazes on Ganondorf.

His face contorted as he slowly realized that why yes, he had indeed fucked up.

~~~~
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AN:
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HiddenMaster: I have a confession to make.

Link is hard to write because I have made him one of the most eldritch, crackish characters I've ever written.

His brain has been fucking pulped and rebuild in strange and intoxicating shapes build off non-Euclidian geometries from doing so, so many runs of Ocarina of Time. Far more than any person ever should play Ocarina of Time.

Zelda is the same here, but at least she takes a fucking break every now and then and enjoys the roses, goes on a walk. Link just hasn't stopped.

He started out as a young boy with a destiny. Now he's something far, far more terrifying.

He is a speedrunner trapped in the Legend of Zelda.

We should all be afraid.

Also the tense issues are intentional. Link thinks in the past, present, and future at all times and the fabric of space and time have given up trying to fit him neatly into the timestream.

Hakon2feb: Didn't do much this chapter except giggle and smile. But it turned out fine nonetheless.

Kitsu: 0/10, needs more foxes.

…Just kidding! …Or am I?

HiddenMaster: This was so much fun to write even if writing Link like this breaks my fucking brain.

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