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For Humanity [WH40k SI/OC] [Loose CYOA]

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Jacksonian Democracy, Jun 28, 2021.

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  1. Jacksonian Democracy

    Jacksonian Democracy Destroyer of Chicken Strips

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    (Loosely using the Demigod 3.0 CYOA, mainly for Inspiration)
    (Demigod 3.0 CYOA)​

    The Emperor of Man felt a sudden surge of despair for the future so in a strange twist of Fate he altered his plans for the Primarch Project and decided to first produce a child naturally - little did he know of the trillions he saved and the dark future he avoided with this small decision.

    (Head's Up, I don't know how often/if ever I will update this and this is my first time posting a thread here so yeah it's going to be a little crazy - plus I will likely be writing out of my ass most of the time so don't expect any top tier writing)
     
    Last edited: Jul 13, 2021
  2. Index: Chapter 1 - Genesis
    Jacksonian Democracy

    Jacksonian Democracy Destroyer of Chicken Strips

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    The Emperor of Man opened his eyes a second before a pulse of light radiated from the inner chambers of his palace, automatically bracing against the sudden shakes of the surrounding architecture. In a matter of milliseconds, he raced through theories of what it could have been - crossing out the actions from one of his many enemies or a natural disaster before reaching the realization that it must be the birth of his son, hopefully the first of many. The birth of Adam.

    Standing up to his full height of roughly 10 feet (or 3 meters) from his throne, he beckoned two of the numerous Thunder Warriors guards nearby to follow him and left the throne room. Once past the gilded gates, he immediately noticed the unconscious servants and workers passed out likely from the psychic blast. A quick flex of his mental might confirmed that all of the regular mortals in a 100 mile radius (160 kilometers) had fallen unconscious - and while this could have been dangerous due to the tasks they were working on - thanks to the presence of many psykers and genetically modified warriors there were no casualties.


    Swiftly crossing through multiple hallways gilded with art and history depicting humanities grim history and bright future, the Emperor climbed onto a parked shuttle meant for quick passage through the gigantic palace (after gently taking out the unconscious pilots of course) and directed it to the medical ward. Little did he know how this small change of plans helped him and humanity create a new future besides one of an brutal fight for survival.


    In a flash, I awoke. My mind was clouded, and thousands of new senses and sensations added to the confusion but I was able to feel my surroundings and notice I was in some warm wet fleshy prison. Although comforting, my mind only continued to notice more problems and have more questions such as why were the walls moving, what were these new sensations, what happened to me, where was my bed, what is a bed, all of which made me want to let out a roar in frustration (which is quite hard to do when your in a state of utter confusion), but I gave it a shot and almost pissed myself from my unconscious follow up.

    As my emotions crescendoed I felt something deep within flex and let out a pulse, my frustration was quickly replaced by shock as I knew something was very wrong and I stopped everything. After what felt like seconds of my accidental discharge of whatever the fuck that was, the walls around me had stopped moving as much and the pounding drum sound had slowed. Now, I am a patient person but I was starting to get very angry with the lack of answers to my questions and the very strange situation I was finding myself in so I said fuck it and tried to push against the walls of my current housing.

    How could I have predicted myself popping out in a explosion of viscera and intestines before being blinded by lights and golden architecture surrounding me? My mind raced as I got my first look of myself, tainted by blood and guts - and I got my first and last look of what I assume was my mother - her sweaty but beautiful face forever locked in death, and my first look at my surroundings - a gothic styled hospital with too much gold for my liking.

    What. the. fuck. was. happening.

    My new vocal cords, albeit undeveloped and unused got their first real test run when I screamed out - powered by thousands of conflicting emotions and this time - as I felt the instinctive twisting in my gut it took away all my energy and suddenly I was tired. So tired. Questions can wait for later, sleepy time now. As my eyes closed, my mind slowed down as I realised this must be some type of hallucination or a really lucid dream and now me falling asleep was actually me just waking up. But damn, this was a really fucked up dream. What did I eat before going to bed? And who is that giant dude over there? I think the milk must have gone bad or something. Wait, what's milk?
     
    Last edited: Jun 28, 2021
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  3. CmirDarthanna

    CmirDarthanna Experienced.

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    Boo, potential mother figure of the other Primarchs died before being given a chance.
     
  4. Extras: Powers/Abilities (For the Entire Story - so Spoilers)
    Jacksonian Democracy

    Jacksonian Democracy Destroyer of Chicken Strips

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    *Ramble Start*
    So initially I was going to try and follow the CYOA as strictly as I could since that is what you are meant to do, but when I decided on the plot/universe this story would be based in and I actually started making choices, I decided to make decisions with more importance in how well it fit in the story as well as stuff that would actually be very useful for my purposes. On top of that I am avoiding a lot of the harem/companion stuff as while there are plenty of good stories like that - I don't really want to write something about that to be honest and I would rather use those points (even if it doesn't really matter now) for his personal strength rather then a battle bro/battle waifu or a tricked out base - especially considering how this is Warhammer 20-40k. Again, the link for the CYOA is here (Demigod 3.0 CYOA) and it is more used for inspiration now rather then a strict set of rules. Lastly - I'm too lazy to paraphrase all of the powers so I'm probably going to miss mentioning some stuff so if you are interested or get confused at something in the story I suggest reading the CYOA yourself to get a better idea of his powers.
    *Ramble End*

    My Choices:

    Start: 400 Points

    -200 (Almighty Creator - Parent)
    (Level 3 Longevity)
    - You don't age and it is difficult to die. You heal 3000x faster then normal and you are immune to radiation (essentially he is immortal, immune to all forms of radiation and has wolverine level regeneration although he can still be killed)
    (Level 2 Enhanced Healing)
    - You are now an expert neurologist, and you can regrow people's limbs in a matter of weeks, you can bring people back from the brink of death, you can purge cancer and destroy tumors (switching that to pretty much he has warp powers that enable him to heal - and the stronger he get's the stronger his heals become)
    (Level 2 Godly Form)
    - Summon the divine energy inside yourself and ascend to your Godly Form (Long story short this form is very customizable and I haven't chosen his yet). Using this form allows you to boost three powers by one level for up to 30 minutes per day - after this time limit is exhausted you will pass out and exit your Godly Form (I will be pretty much making this a power surge where all of his abilities get stronger)

    [Quick Explanation: So according to the CYOA he also gets a bunch of other powers on the lowest level and level 2 creation magic, but I couldn't find a way to explain most of them in the narrative sense so I just axed them out and gave myself some points back instead. He also got to upgrade one of the powers from Level 2 to Level 3 for free permanently so I upgraded his longevity so he can be around theoretically for more of the story and match the lifespans of the primarchs/emperor.]

    -36 (Level 2 - Enhanced Magic)
    - Converting this to the WH30k/40k equivalent, he is a Alpha/Alpha Plus Psycher - which to give an example, means once he has some level of control over his powers that he can snap a titan in half through force of will. The problem comes with controlling this power and the backlash from the warp however, so I'm not classifying this as too OP.

    -30 (Level 2 - Enhanced Strength)
    - Your strength is now herculean. You can easily bench press a 33,000 lbs (about 15,000 kilos) school bus, and the max amount of weight you can lift is 100 tons (AKA he is crazy strong in comparison to pretty much everything but his baseline physical strength will be weaker then the primarchs and other entities on that tier)

    -30 (Level 2 Enhanced Durability)
    - Most bullets can't pierce your skin, leaving only a light bruise instead. You can survive up to 2000 degree's Fahrenheit (1100 Celsius) and as far low as -200 degree's Fahrenheit (-130 Celsius) for long periods of time.

    -30 (Level 2 Enhanced Speed)
    - You're almost fast as Hermes himself! You can run and move at Mach 1 (776 MPH/ ) but you can only go at your top speed for a few minutes unless you upgrade your endurance.

    -30 (Level 2 Flight)
    - You can now soar through the sky at just over Mach 1 (800 MPH/ ) . You can survive with no oxygen for several hours, fly at very low pressure altitudes and keep flying for up to a day unless you upgrade your endurance.

    -36 (Level 2 Giant Form)
    - You grow in size, strength and durability taking on the form of a Giant. Your speed is reduced in this form and you are a larger target, but you can deal out much more damage now. Speed and Flight are much weaker in this form, and there is no time limit but prolonged usage and rapid switches will cause large amounts of bodily strain. At level 2 you can grow up to a height of 50 meters (164 feet tall).

    -18 (Level 2 Empathy)
    - You can visually perceive strong emotions and can manipulate emotions, calming or enraging them

    -18 (Level 2 Agility)
    - Flexibility of a Olympic Gymnast, greatly enhanced reflexes, can jump 60+ feet vertically and can scale walls with ease.

    -18 (Level 2 Enhanced Endurance)
    - You can run full sprint three marathons without stopping, only need three hours of sleep a night and can last months without food or water.

    -18 (Level 2 Enhanced Perception)
    - You can visually perceive magic, see through illusions, and see the invisible.

    -18 (Level 2 Enhanced Cognition)
    - You have savant level math skills, a completely eidetic memory, and you are one of the smartest natural born humans of all time (200+ IQ).

    -12 (Level 2 Enhanced Awareness)
    - Through a combination of different senses and abilities you have basic 360 degree awareness. Nobody can sneak up on you, you can notice all but the most cleverly hidden traps and you can usually tell when others are lying.

    -24 (Level 2 Astral Projection)
    - You are now totally invisible in your astral form, you can move small objects, and you can enter people's dreams in this form.

    -12 (Level 2 Enhanced Beauty)
    - You're almost as stunning as Helen of Troy herself, everyone is attracted to you and you could even put a few goddesses to shame.

    -12 (Level 2 Enhanced Charisma)
    - You're so charismatic and convincing you could talk almost anyone into bed, and you could talk down an angry mob, and maybe even seduce a goddess.

    -12 (Level 2 Enhanced Crafting)
    - You can create beautiful sculptures, masterpiece paintings, and masterwork weapons and armor.


    As you can likely see, MC is going to be *extremely* strong and once he reaches his full strength as in he can likely kill everyone except the big baddies (other gods mainly) and even then he has a chance of defeating them in the right circumstances - and just to clarify since some people still think he will be weak, when he goes god mode *all* of his powers get boosted to level 3. Just to read some of those powers off; Level 3 Strength let's him lift 20,000 tons (two eiffel towers), Level 3 Speed let's him run and move at Mach 4 (3045 mph), Level 3 Durability let's him get hit with a 30 megaton nuclear blast and only get maybe some trouble seeing through all the light, etc. And he can do this once per day for 30 minutes - pretty much he is the strongest being in the entire universe for those 30 minutes.


    As for his powers and how he get's them, some of them will be stuff the Emperor was able to program him with while he was in the womb or just powers developed naturally through being the Emperor's son such as strength and speed but other powers like empathy will be stuff MC develops himself as the story goes on and he learns more and more how to use his powers - pretty much all connected through the Warp. And yeah, the math likely does not add up at all, but to be honest I don't really care and like I mentioned many times now - I am using them more as inspiration and guidelines rather then a strict set of rules.

    Expect edits of this as time goes on and the story develops (if it continues that is).
     
    Last edited: Jul 14, 2021
  5. Harripota

    Harripota Not too sore, are you?

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    Dude you should chop it up into smaller paragraphs, general rule of thumb is 3,4or 5 lines. Any longer it can be harder to read.
     
  6. ATP

    ATP I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Main IoM problems:

    1.Giving technology to Mechanicus instead of scientists
    2.Trying to destroy religion,when all normal people need one.
    3.Always conqering even if you could cooperate/Interrex etc/
    4.Xenos in 90% should be killed - but IoM always try that.
    5.Hiding existence of Chaos - most of Primarchs would not fall if they knew.

    You do not change that with additional Primarch - so IoM would fall just like in canon.Best scenario - SI would made his own state.
     
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  7. Jacksonian Democracy

    Jacksonian Democracy Destroyer of Chicken Strips

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    I one hundred percent get what you are saying, but there are some flaws in those statements so here are my counterpoints and explanations of why they make sense or how they will interface with the story (you can get some clues here of how it's likely going to go if you really read into it).

    1. Making the Mechanicus in charge of technology was like 90% a political decision rather then a rational one as once Earth was unified the Emperor went to Mars where their headquarters were and pretty much negotiated with them to join him, and that was because the Emperor wanted their help and machines hence he gave them a lot of leeway to play with. It's also important to note they were much more rational and less "religious technology" during this time and the Emperor was around to suppress that line of thought even further, so they were actually pretty useful and helped shelve designs that were unnecessary and they were still inventing stuff during this time instead of rediscovering.

    2. The emperor was mega anti-religion simply because he had seen the worst of humanity and how religion enhanced it since he has been around since before the written word, and while this is a valid thought process given his history his mistake here was he gave no alternative and it's hard to enforce no religion across such large distances - this here was a mistake but pretty fixable given enough time and good reasons (ie - religion is one of the best ways to control and soothe the masses and when you take that away a lot of people will go to extreme measures to find something they can put their faith in).

    3. I think you are a little confused here, in 30k yes they were constantly expanding their borders and *re*conquering new worlds but that was all part of the plan as these were all worlds that humanity originally controlled but only lost control of when the warp acted up and pretty much screwed humanity over. As for cooperation, in the warhammer universe that is a very laughable idea. Every "friendly" xeno species is either too weak to be even considered or they are already working with the Imperium (generally the borderline humans who are just slightly modified) - every significant alien group at the time of 30k is a threat and definitely not interested in mutual cooperation with the Empire (the Necrons want to kill everything and have no clue what's happening due to software errors, Orks are orks, the Eldar have their heads so far up their butt they can't see anything besides their own guts, the Tau want to conquer everything in a friendly way, and Chaos is well ... Chaos).

    4. What you mean 90% of xenos should not be killed. Like stated previously, the vast majority of friendly xenos are already dead as they got killed off during the fall of humanities empire and the ones left are so insignificant it's like saying "hey - go ally with those three ant's, they are gonna be a big help". The anti-xeno thought process of the IoM sucks for shure, but it's what keeps them alive as they don't even allow that sliver of doubt to manifest which is very important to eliminate weak spots and prevent chaos from slipping through.

    5. I don't think the Emperor firstly realized how big of a threat Chaos was in 30k, as well as the fact he didn't know the Primarchs had been corrupted and were being slowly won over as years went by. He is a good leader, but a $hit father and that's a pretty widely accepted fact.
     
  8. ATP

    ATP I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    1- still,he could not gave them absolute monopoly - for example,science allowed on Earth and Primarch worlds.
    2.Religion is something humans simply need - old atheism /Budda/ and new atheism/Marx/ were turned into religions after all.He should be aware that his atheism end the same way,and made his own religion.If,after 30.000 years he do not undarstandt that humans need some kind of religion,he is idiot.
    3.He could made peace with reasonable human star states,like Interrex.Join or die was stupidity and waste of resources.They could be taken after he take Galaxy,but not before.
    4.I said that 90% of xenos should die,but not 100%.That is all - IoM should try to made agreement with those 10%.
    5.If,after 30.000 years he do not undarstandt how big danger Chaos made,then he is idiot.Overpovered and genius,but still idiot.And if he knew that Chaod take his sons and do not think that they could be corrupted,he is idiot.
     
  9. ThedudeManBro

    ThedudeManBro A bet is a bet. But bitch I look FABULOUS

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    On top of his Ivory tower the Armchair Anthropologist will always say he can see the world better than the one in the field.
     
  10. ATP

    ATP I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Nope.WH40 is tabletop game made to create cool figurines with swords,spears and axes fighting each other in melee.All lore added later is just pretext to explain why people with lasers and powered armours fight in melee.And could win with people using range weapon.

    That is why Emprah was made idiot - but not only him,Eldars and Necrons who do not innavate are as much stupid as he is.Orks and Nids are bioweapons,so they could be stupid.
    Do not blame Emprah or authors of book - they was hired to explain what explain could be not,and failed.It is not LOTR,where Tolkien created mythology and History of his fikcional world first,and books later.Here,first we get cool dudes fighting in melee - and later another poor dudes was hired to explain how it is possible with lasers.Of course,that they must failed.
     
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  11. In search for story's

    In search for story's Fool

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    Always love reading a 40k fic Watched.
     
  12. mrttao

    mrttao Connoisseur.

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    ouch. emps really dropped the ball on that one, he should have predicted the birth and been there to protect the mother
    Surprised he didn't just heal the mother considering he only burst out of her stomach so her brain, lung, and heart were intact.
    Thus she should only be brink of death instead of actual death.
    but eh, maybe the psychic scream fried her soul or something
     
    Last edited: Jul 1, 2021
  13. Alertpoet91

    Alertpoet91 Know what you're doing yet?

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    Oof, He is super weak in almost every way except for his Psyker abilities, where he might become Magnus's equal for power. All of the Primarchs are Stronger, Faster, Smarter, and more Durable. Honestly, I feel bad for him, especially after having read some of the Primarchs capabilities.
     
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  14. mrttao

    mrttao Connoisseur.

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    Yea, its funny but if he was just "yet another primarch" instead of the CYOA he would be stronger
     
  15. Alertpoet91

    Alertpoet91 Know what you're doing yet?

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    Stronger? He is WEAK for that setting. He is going to get killed if he ever leaves the Imperial Palace, maybe even if he doesn't. Primarchs are not safe in that setting. Dude, unless you give him Plot armor that is indestructible and protects him utterly there is no way whatsoever. He will survive a year before he gets assassinated, kidnaped by Chao, or any other number of horrible fates if that's all he gets. Dude, Divination is a thing there, as is telepathy, if he is not immune to both even ignoring time travel shenanigans he will be killed off by any number of factions right now because of his potential to ruin things with Meta knowledge by talking to Emps (If Emps does not kill him for killing his child and bodyjacking said child).

    *Edit* Just realized I sound(Read?) like a bastard, for that I apologize. I will try to put it differently, WH30/40k and WH Fantasy are what brought the term GrimDark(and GrimDerp) to most peoples vocabulary, They are horrific settings where even very powerful beings(Old Ones, C'tan, "gods", etc. can die. Shit is on fire most of the time in that setting and that's considered normal. I would not want to go there even after taking 50 jumps in a JumpChain. The dude has almost no chance with just that CYOA.
     
    Last edited: Jul 1, 2021
  16. mrttao

    mrttao Connoisseur.

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    you misread what I said.
    I agreed with you that using the CYOA to stat a primarch resulted in him being weaker than all the other primarchs
     
  17. Alertpoet91

    Alertpoet91 Know what you're doing yet?

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    I apologize, it seams I did. When I read "Stronger" I thought you implying he was strong in some way to begin with.
     
  18. Jacksonian Democracy

    Jacksonian Democracy Destroyer of Chicken Strips

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    I really like that point about the Emperor not predicting this birth and such, I will make edits later to make it more reasonable for how/ why this happened - and a lot of those powers are I guess inactive right now plus even if he technically can use them it doesn’t mean he knows how to. This is just a random dude who pretty much woke up in a waterballoon all of the sudden so it would be weird if he just suddenly was able to use his healing powers perfectly. Plus, yeah - bit of a spoiler alert but the damage plus the phayic scream pretty much oofed her.
     
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  19. Jacksonian Democracy

    Jacksonian Democracy Destroyer of Chicken Strips

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    So firstly - I want to clarify that MC is just flat out built different from the Primarchs. Both mentally and physically, he will be weaker/stronger in different aspects (example being durability - just in the example I used he is a glass cannon in comparison to the primarchs speaking in terms of pure flesh but there are ways to make that less of a problem whereas his powers will be much more versatile and that will be explained later). I have read a lot of Primarch fictions and while they were definitely some good ideas and good stories, its a very common trope in the Wh30/40k universe so when I read this CYOA I thought I would spice this up a bit. But just a tid bit, if I keep writing this by the end of the story MC is pretty much gonna be able to 1v1 any Primarch and win. So, keep ya ponchos on buckos cause it’s about to get violent.
     
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  20. mrttao

    mrttao Connoisseur.

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    I meant after he tore his way out of his mother, he burst out of her stomach splattering her intestines all over the place. that is not an instant death sentence. Her brain is unharmed, her lungs and heart are probably ok too. She should die of bloodloss soon after but should be saveable.
    unless he did some additional damage beyond just the physical gore.
     
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  21. XavierRaijin

    XavierRaijin Making the rounds.

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    I sorta like the concept behind this. Most of the things I would have said, has already been said. Though I do want to know the reasoning behind the avoidance of any type of romance. After all, your MC is different from the Primarch as you've said. Thus he would not have the built in asexuality.
     
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  22. Morkail

    Morkail Not too sore, are you?

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    Wow brutal end to mom. Would love to see a story where the son influences his dad in how he handle religion and technology in his new empire. Having the toasters handle the really dangerous shit like nova bombs and any warp based tech is fine but in 40k you need a tech priest to repair anything no one knows jack shit about technology at all.
     
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