General chat thread

[Hatless Nuance]

There are any thread for "stories you've just started" or something like that?

Click to shrink...

And if you mean you just started writing a story, if it's a fan work, search for an appropriate fandom thread, and if such a thread doesn't exist or you are making an original work, see if there is an appropriate genre-based thread.

If nothing else fits on that end, you can post once or twice about it in this general thread. It's also useful to put links to your works in your forum signature (on QQ and other places) or on your profile page. This could also be done for works not by you that you like.

 

[LurkingInTheDeceit]

And if you mean you just started writing a story

Click to shrink...

There's also the Writers Write about Writing thread.

 

[heralding_bubble]

Lactose Intolerance.
The Mozzarella Pizza beckons...

Now, I pay the price.
Worth it.

 

[Hyp3rB14d3]

Lactose Intolerance.
The Mozzarella Pizza beckons...

Now, I pay the price.
Worth it.

Click to shrink...

It is said that lactose intolerance can be overcome by ingesting enzymes that can digest lactose. Which can be found in milk and cheese. So theoretically, if you consumed tons of milk and cheese every day for like a month, you'd stop being lactose intolerant.

That said, you would suffer during that month.

 

[Guardian Box]

It is said that lactose intolerance can be overcome by ingesting enzymes that can digest lactose. Which can be found in milk and cheese. So theoretically, if you consumed tons of milk and cheese every day for like a month, you'd stop being lactose intolerant.

That said, you would suffer during that month.

Click to shrink...

Sadly, while this sometimes works, it's not a surefire way to become an Übermensch lactose tolerant.

 

[Scygnus]

Lactose Intolerance.
The Mozzarella Pizza beckons...

Now, I pay the price.
Worth it.

Click to shrink...

Just a few syllables off... pretty sure that's 6/8/5, assuming you don't count the last line.

 

[evildice]

To make the rumor crueler, perhaps...

- The enzymes need to be preserved, so you have to eat a ton of icecream and froyo for a month.

- The enzymes need to be not destroyed by chemical processes, so you have to eat only unpasturized cheese for a month.

- The fermentation in your gut means the enzymes are developing, so you need to wear a buttplug the whole time. This is the difference between "it worked" and "it sucked" -- but nobody wants to admit to wearing the plug.

 

[ShogunTrooper]

It is said that lactose intolerance can be overcome by ingesting enzymes that can digest lactose. Which can be found in milk and cheese. So theoretically, if you consumed tons of milk and cheese every day for like a month, you'd stop being lactose intolerant.

That said, you would suffer during that month.

Click to shrink...

Sadly, while this sometimes works, it's not a surefire way to become an Übermensch lactose tolerant.

Click to shrink...

I other words, go with gambler's wisdom and remember that 90% of people quit before they make it big! /s

But seriously, be careful around that. Don't consign yourself to the porcelain throne for the sake of a cheese experiment without knowing the risks.

 

[Savinkov]

In the grim darkness of the modern age, there is only Wi-Fi and one man who made a very bad dietary choice.

Kyle knew the truth. He had read the labels. He had felt the warnings. Yet tonight, armed with confidence and a family-sized bag of shredded mozzarella, he chose defiance. "Exposure therapy," he muttered, like a tech-priest blessing a cursed machine. "I will adapt."

The cheese was consumed in sacred sequence: pizza first, then string cheese, then a reckless slab of cheddar eaten straight from the fridge at 2 a.m. The lactose lay in wait.

The bathroom became his battlefield. Kyle collapsed onto the toilet, porcelain throne cold and unforgiving. His stomach twisted like a Warp engine spooling out of control. Each gurgle was a daemon whisper. Each cramp, a reminder that the flesh is weak and the gut weaker.

He scrolled his phone with shaking hands. News. Memes. The same three apps, over and over, as minutes stretched into an eternity. His legs went numb. His soul followed.

"Emperor preserve me," he whispered, staring at the empty toilet paper roll like a fallen banner.

When at last the storm passed, Kyle rose pale, humbled, and forever changed. He had not cured his lactose intolerance. He had merely fed it.

 

[MadGreenSon]

In the grim darkness of the modern age, there is only Wi-Fi and one man who made a very bad dietary choice.

Kyle knew the truth. He had read the labels. He had felt the warnings. Yet tonight, armed with confidence and a family-sized bag of shredded mozzarella, he chose defiance. "Exposure therapy," he muttered, like a tech-priest blessing a cursed machine. "I will adapt."

The cheese was consumed in sacred sequence: pizza first, then string cheese, then a reckless slab of cheddar eaten straight from the fridge at 2 a.m. The lactose lay in wait.

The bathroom became his battlefield. Kyle collapsed onto the toilet, porcelain throne cold and unforgiving. His stomach twisted like a Warp engine spooling out of control. Each gurgle was a daemon whisper. Each cramp, a reminder that the flesh is weak and the gut weaker.

He scrolled his phone with shaking hands. News. Memes. The same three apps, over and over, as minutes stretched into an eternity. His legs went numb. His soul followed.

"Emperor preserve me," he whispered, staring at the empty toilet paper roll like a fallen banner.

When at last the storm passed, Kyle rose pale, humbled, and forever changed. He had not cured his lactose intolerance. He had merely fed it.

Click to shrink...

I like this. You turned digestive distress into something that got a genuine laugh out of me while reminding me of my own similar misadventures. Well done. You have a future in comedic writing!

Element	Performance	Notes
Tone	Excellent	Consistently maintains a mock-epic solemnity.
Imagery	Strong	"Empty toilet paper roll like a fallen banner" is a standout visual.
Parody Accuracy	High	Accurately utilizes 40k tropes without over-explaining them.

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