Harry Potter and the Ancient Pervert

OOC: I wrote this years ago and had it incomplete on a mobile hard drive for a long while. Now I found it, reworked the first chapter and completed it. I decided, why not post it with it being complete?

Prologue: An Unexpected Meeting​

The ancient pervert sneezed again as he cursed his stupid students for sending him to this godforsaken place. Oh, they didn't dare fight him openly, but instead they resorted to trickery and lies like he had taught the... eh, used the ways of an innocent old man against him. At this very moment he was jumping trough the streets of a European country. His feet may have been old, but he was far from some helpless elder and he could easily jump from one streetlight without even being noticed. He guessed that he was in England from the language of the street signs, though he was not absolutely sure.

Everything had started out good. About two weeks ago, he had celebrated his latest panty raid and had even let his students drink with him for a change. Heaven! His greatest mistake had truly been to trust these little traitors to not do anything idiotic. But just who would have thought that they would use a transportation spell without even knowing where the target would end?

He had heard them, even if he didn't understand all they had said at the time. Unfortunately, he had been too really decipher their words and most was some wild mumble, just something about getting rid of him and some kind of great deal. They wanted to be free and have fun on their own and had taken the first thing they could. First they had made this innocent old man drink in celebration and then they sent him to this giant island in the west of Europe.

He knew exactly why he hated England it was too cold and wet for someone of his age. Seriously, why they had even created this kingdom was beyond his understanding. How could any human being live in such conditions?

The grandmaster of the original Anything Goes School of Martial Arts really wanted to leave this horrible country as soon as possible. But it was just his luck that he knew absolutely nobody in this place that could help him. And the normal population run away the very moment he tried to "persuade" them, to help him. What, he was just an normal old man and there was nothing wrong with his presence.

It had become especially bad in the last days. The streets of this small town looked all the same to him. Not to forget how people reacted to him, it was like anything out of norm was automatically something bad around here. There were times in the past where he was feared, but he hadn't even done anything yet! They either looked at him in some horrible way, like he was a stain on the wall, or ignored him entirely like he wasn't even present. It wasn't even like he had gone out of his way to test the female population and their specialties… much.

The sun had left the sky long ago and people were already sleeping, Happosai was searching for a place to stay for the night himself. The local residents had proven a couple of times that they didn't want him in their houses. Not that they could hurt him, but it was just irritating that he never seemed to get a good night of sleep.

So it happened under these circumstances that the great master came around a certain corner. During the day and evening he had noticed some curious things.

There was magic in the air… and no small amount of it.

This was a bit of a surprise for the old man because normally any member of a supernatural community with the slightest amount of self respect would stay as far away from such a boring place as this town. (he himself only wanted to stay for the night and then leave as fast as possible.) He slowed down, moving through the shadows between different houses and vanishing in a bush without giving off a sound before moving on from one dark place to another.

The taste of magic was not the only thing he noticed, there were other surprises.

People wearing unusual clothes were walking through the streets and shooting stars could be seen if you had sharp enough eyes. He had heard others talking about such and then he taken a look himself. While not the youngest man, his eyes were sharp enough that he could see a light here and there, though he had to strain. Then of course one could forget the owls.

Owls had flown trough the whole country during daytime and he had also heard a few other rumors about strange happenings here and there. But he was not sure what he should think about the rumor of a gnome wandering trough this region, children and their imagination.

His head moved slightly from left to right as he checked to make sure that nobody had noticed him. He himself did not belong to any group that believed in secrecy of the supernatural, but seeing these who wanted to stay unknown act like this proved once again that modern people had lost every ounce of common sense.

By the way, yes Happosai had experience with magic, beyond the use against him by his two longtime students. In fact, he had had to defend himself against magic users of different origin and type quite often during his long life. It came naturally considering that these children wanted the not-so normal things to remain secret. It was truly nonsensical considering that anyone could see it if they truly looked around. Only the blindness of the population made sure that things remained as they were. He was certainly annoyed with them breaking their little secrecy act, stupid hypocrites.

It was dark, which was not very surprising considering that it was nearly midnight. His feet brought him finally on the pathway next to a certain street, a sign showing him the name of the same.

Pivet Drive

The street in itself looked unremarkable and not as if anything interesting or mysterious could happen in it. The people that lived in it would not have wanted it any other way.

But there was something that stood out from the houses that looked like the same person had built them all and the plain grass that formed the gardens in the front of the same houses.

It was a tabby cat with brown hair that had two identical markings in the form of rings around its eyes. The animal sat on a brick wall and looked at the street in front of it. The little being was perfectly still and seemed almost like a statue.

The martial artist stopped any form of movement as he saw this. He immediately understood that there was more to this cat than just the fact that it seemed to wait for something. Unfortunately, he could not pinpoint what exactly was special about it with his senses.

He was about to say something to get the cats attention, or maybe move on, when something popped out of nowhere. There was a sound very similar to a bullet, a sound he was familiar with to his unhappiness. Then, from one moment to another a figure stood in the middle of the street where formerly nothing but empty space had been.

It was a man the likes Happosai had not seen in a long time. He wore a long purple cloak and high heels and his eyes could be seen behind big half moon glasses. These glasses had a weird twinkling that made him feel slightly uncomfortable. His hair was silver and he had a beard so long, the man could have put it in his trousers if he had wanted.

But more important than anything else was the feeling he got from the man. This person had power, was powerful and dangerous even by the standards of the ancient figure that was observing the event.

The newcomer began to go trough the pockets of his cloak obviously searching for something, but then directed his gaze knowingly at the tabby cat, a smile formed on his face, a quiet chuckle escaped his mouth and he said "I should have known" before continuing his search for a short while. It didn't take long for the old man to find what he was searching for. It was a lighter colored like silver. He opened it up, held it up in the air and clicked it. A small popping sound was heard and the nearest street light went out. Happosai carefully observed as the man repeated the action until the entire street was dark.

The man stepped next to the cat without looking at it and spoke.

"Fancy seeing you here, Professor McGonagall."

The ancient martial artist saw a movement and turned his attention to the cat, but only caught a glimpse of a switching and swirling form. Before he could really see what was happening the cat was no longer a cat, but had turned into a stern looking older women, hair bound into a tight bun and wearing square glasses where the markings on the eyes had been. She wore an emerald cloak and answered the greeting from the other man with a question.

"How did you know it was me?"

She was not unattractive by his opinion, though near the age where he would lose interest. Maybe….

Happosai remained silent as the two had a short conversation. His face showed signs of interest as he tried to understand the theme of their talk. Apparently there had been some kind of conflict, a troublemaker in the form of this Voldemort… strange name, sounded French. Well, it was not his problem, especially if the person was apparently dead. To hear that anyone would go after a little child was not good. Even in his wild youth he wouldn't ever hurt a child and he would personally punish anyone that dared to do so in his presence. There were things you just don't do.

The meeting was strange even by his standards and his eyes soon heard the sound of a motor out in the… sky? It took a few minutes until the other two heard anything, though he had the feeling that the old man had noticed something earlier. And then a giant brought a little child. The next conversation was even more interesting. This was a child that would be considered a hero due to an incredible fluke? Or was there possibly more to the kid than he thought? It was always possible that something had activated in the boys blood and mind. Maybe there was some kind of special ancestor involved.

This was worth checking into.

So it came to be that Happosai moved silently forward after the old man had left with a last wish of luck to the child. It was nice in a way, if he hadn't left the boy on the stairs of a place with people that Miss McGonagall had considered unsuitable to keep such a child. He certainly agreed. These people were not bad per se, but they just wouldn't allow someone with talent to grow. It would be better for everyone involved if the child ended up with someone that could actually care for him and also wished to see his potential grow.

The old man bent over the small basket and read the name of the child that was sleeping inside. "Harry James Potter" was written in fine letters on a small blanket. He could feel a small tingle when he almost touched the boy. There were protections on the basket and also on the entire building. Some were specialized, concentrated on a certain group of some kind. Others were vaguer, based around the idea of doing harm to these that live in this house. And there was a last ward that truly caught his eyes. It was powerful, powerful even beyond his own capabilities and would have stopped him from even stepping foot on the area had things been different. But the ward was aligned to a certain… frequency, energy he couldn't quite understand. He had never been that good with this kind of stuff. Still, there was nothing stopping him from taking the child. He didn't belong to any of the groups that the various wards defended against and his lack of malice against the boy held the more vague protections from responding.

The old man considered and thought everything over. Maybe this could be a good way for his future. He would need an heir at some point in the future and it would be irresponsible to leave the boy here. Yet this was a great responsibility. Could he really take care of a child? He did know people that could help with it and he could possibly show up his ungrateful students by training a child stronger than any of theirs. He had heard them talk, about their boys and girls and how they were going to be strong fighters.

Still it was a serious and important decision.

The old man continued to stand over the child, unmoving for almost ten minutes before he finally decided to leave it be. He wouldn't be the right person and the life of a martial artist was not something easy. He turned away, ready to jump into the night when something stopped him.

"Ugh.."

Small fingers had grasped his arm which was still close to the boy's basket. Emerald eyes looked at the ancient master of martial arts and he couldn't help but smile. The child held onto him with a firm grip, surprisingly strong for one so young. He could have easily broken the hold, but he frowned.

"I see, maybe it was fate that I stepped on this place?"

The small form took hold of the basket and without another sound, both the old man and young Harry Potter vanished into the night.

 

Harry Potter raised by Happosai? Poor Harry. And poor female students at Hogwarts.

 

I like what I read

 

Oh gods. Poor, poor hogwarts.

 

Excellent

 

+blinks+


Huh, high heels.

 

I will wait to see this continue.

 

???? High Heels ???

Thanks for the interest everyone! I hope I can make it worth it in the future.

 

This idea...
Seriously...
This has so much potential its almost mind-boggling. Please, I'm begging you to continue it,

If I might make a few suggestions, though? It might be more amusing to have Harry develop an Anti-Pervert mindset towards Happosai, similar to Naruto's relationship with Jiraiya, out of a sort of instinctive protest towards the old man's... tendencies. While at the same time having developed his own serious perverted streak due to exposure to Happosai and such, which he is in total denial of despite lots of comedic blushing and nose-bleeds and whatnot. That way he can be the chivalrous sort while still getting into all sorts of high-jinx and eventually winding up with a Harem of his own.

I also wonder how you're going to manage the Magic aspect. From what Happosai said, if I'm reading it right, than you're basically going with "Energy is Energy", with Magic and Ki simply being different frequencies and wavelengths and such? If so I applaud the idea as it would not only consolidate Harry's abilities into a single energy reserve that he could be training likely from the time he could walk, but would also let him shock the crap out of the stick-in-the-mud Purebloods if he can do something like a Mako Takabisha, and they conclude that he could do wandless magic... and be right!?

There's also thoughts about Jusenkyo and the various artifacts that Happosai was shown to possess in both the Anime and Manga, which would be very interesting for Harry to start Hogwarts with, but since I'm sure you already took that into consideration, I won't go into it here.

Still, I'm really hoping to see this idea continue, and am willing to beg if that would help it happen.

 

I will reserve judgement until I have seen more, but you have my attention for now.

 

going down the tired old Anti-Pervert path is, well tired, its been done over and over again and its bloody boring, Ol'Happi is damn good at getting kids onside, just look at Hinako and he's going to have uninterrupted access to Harry while he's growing up, if you really think Happosai wouldn't be able to turn Harry into a pervert, at least by the time he hit puberty then I think your kidding yourself, or are to mired in tired tropes

 

Oh, I have no doubt that Harry will be a total pervert when Happosai's done with him, even at just eleven years old when he starts at Hogwarts. The idea was that he's in denial about it, even to the point of not realizing his own hypocrisy, and lashing out against Happosai in order to disguise his own perverted traits, much like the typical Anime Tsundere. I'm sorry if I wasn't clear about that, earlier.

 

Why would he be in denial about it? Or maybe more accurately, why would he be lashing out, or trying to disguise it?

He's not Ranma. He's going to be raised by Happosai, probably in similar conditions to the way Genma spent ten years on the road, of course, but with a few differences.

They'll probably stay closer to population centers, if only so Happi has a wide buffet of lovelies available to perv on, but they probably won't stick around the same people a lot. Happosai would be the sole reliable and present authority figure in Harry's life, really.

Better still, the important canon point would happen at eleven, instead of sixteen-seventeenish the way the Ranma series goes. He wouldn't have hit the puberty throes of anguish and rebelling against authority so much then, and he'd still be young enough that Happosai would be treating him with the kid gloves... remember, Happi likes kids, has a soft spot for them. So if anything, he'll have been spoiling Harry a lot of the time.

.... I can really see Harry being pretty darn indulgent of the old guy's tendencies, whether or not he really understands them as character flaws, and willing to go with the flow.

 

Would Happosai allows Harry to go to Hogwarts? Better yet, what stop him from eating any owl coming his way as a free meal? Happy is possessive, he would not leave Harry to someone else as long as a superior teacher (himself) is available.

 

Your Suggestions and ideas are interesting and I will consider them for the future.

As I mentioned above, I wrote this years ago, had it on a mobile harddrive and then discovered it again and reworked through the prologue. Then I completed that part. I put a bunch of possible ideas in it, and maybe maybe crossovers back then, but it is rather fuzzy in my memory. I never read the Manga, (From what I heard of a Family member it was horrible, though that may depend on taste.) but I did see the Anime and once I get onto this more, I will try to Research more about Happosai again.

For now I plan to go through Harry's childhood under the ancient Master of Martial arts and how his disappearance is noticed by others after a while. I have no firm plans currently, so the plot is probably going to develop as things go by.

I will think about the whole Magic/Ki relationship. Haven't really thought about it until now.

 

Reserving judgment, but I'll follow this for the moment.

As to the proposed effects of Happosai on Harry, the closet pervert trope is incredibly overplayed, and I'd really prefer to avoid the tired anime nosebleed and similar antics. It just doesn't seem suited to a less cartoonish world like HP.

Given Harry's age, I agree that he'd likely just be indulgent to Happosai's eccentricities but not entirely understood them before puberty. Frankly, I don't think Harry should overreact in either direction (super pervert or prude) and such issues should be left for when Harry is older, if the story lasts that far.

 

Hrmm... in light of recent comments I would like to change up some of by suggestions. I admit that an eleven year old probably would understand enough about sexuality to be either embarrassed or upset about it, and as such a Covert-Pervert-in-Denial!Harry is unlikely... at that point, anyway.

Instead, I have this suggestion. Don't send him to Hogwarts at eleven, and instead have Happosai teach him what he could, possibly using stolen books and wands that he gained access to after getting Harry's letter. Instead, have this be a Manipulative Dumbledore (either Dark or Greater Good) Fic and him pull the old "Drop his name in the Goblet of Fire" to force Harry into the Tri-Wizard Tournament in order to bring him to Hogwarts.

That way he can start already fairly physically mature and well into puberty, and thus vulnerable to pervy-ness... not to mention setting up a more interesting Hogwarts situation. Possibly have Hermione be a Ravenclaw after being tormented by Ron on the train and learning that Weasleys were always in Gryffindor, with her becoming a Big Sis to Luna when the blond showed up the next year (I saw this idea in a Diskworld crossover somewhere). Also, since he'll undoubtedly be quite physically fit after spending the last thirteen years training under Happosai, you could easily use Comedic Logic to explain why a bunch of girls go after him, possibly even handwaving Fleur's "Veela Instincts" making her seek out a Strong Mate, or something like that.

Heck, the options are near-limitless, and I'm sure many others have their own ideas to suggest, as well. Please, HC, I implore you to give this fic a chance and try writing it. I'm begging ya.

 

I would prefer this Harry to become an Oblivious Pervert. He is horribly perverted and lewd, but he just doesn't understand why everyone is making such a fuss over such a basic and normal thing. That's how everyone is, right? Happosai always felt better after the chase so the women must like it if they help him feel better, right?

And this is before hormones hit, so it's just a thing with no actual perverted feelings behind it.

He would also probably be incredibly smooth after having to talk his way out of any scrapes Happosai got him into for training, add that onto his practical knowledge on the subject of women with his good looks and muscled physique and you have the perfect definition of a Lady Killer....who has no idea who that's such a big deal.

The most amusing way is to make him get his hormones late at ~14-15 and when he gets them, it's like the lightbulb comes on and he suddenly understands what this all means and why people enjoy it.

 

Manipulative Idiot Dumbledore is a bad idea and you should feel bad.

Explain the logic underlying that conclusion. Because unless M. Delacour is secretly an Akimichi or some shit, Veela Instincts of that sort ain't worth dick.

Like, I realize that a Ranma crossover is going to be ridiculous, but can't it just be fun ridiculous? Fresh ridiculous? Ridiculousness of a sort we haven't seen eighty goddamn times in the past five years alone?

 

I will try to avoid the overblown cliches for a bit. You don't have to make Dumbledore evil, you only have to make the opponents act competently and react to new circumstances. And no crazy Harems appearing for no reason. Well, maybe if it involves Chinese Amazons, but not without something like that.

And as good as Happosai is, he is not a wizard. He can pull of some pretty awesome tricks like that space warping technique that makes him intangible and such, but he cannot transfigure materials, or make space bigger on the inside. (Except maybe for the Hidden Weapons technique, but he has to carry them around with him.) He cannot easily fly or do any of the other cool forms of reality warping. He can make some concotions with interesting effect, but something like Felix Felicis? That is worth its weight in gold. So he would certainly think of Hogwarts as a great place to learn stuff he couldn't teach Harry easily.

And he could of course come to visit from time to time to check whether his Boy is doing good, right? And maybe see if he can reproduce some of their effects himself.

Yeah, Harry wouldn't see Happosai's Actions as anything bad or even unusual unless pointed out and explained by an outside force. And whom will he believe, some random Person of the street or his beloved Daddy Happi who took care of him since he can remember and always buys him ice cream?

 

Interlude: A Worrying Discovery​

It didn't take too long for the disappearance of Harry James Potter to be noticed, though there were many that would say it took much too long. It all started with a slight worry of Albus Dumbledore over some of the devices in the headmaster's office not working quite right. Many were connected to the spells around Number 4 Privet Drive and while there was no sign of any of them outright failing, a number of them apparently didn't quite take hold or were partially inactive.

"They are still doing it." The old man with the silver beard said with a tinge of worry colouring his voice. The wizard looked at one of the many silver instruments and strange devices strewn over the room. It was moving in a slow jiggle instead of the graceful ark it was supposed to follow. It was a beautiful item that looked like it was made from liquid silver, countless rings moving in circles around the item, some apparently floating on their own. A puff of smoke plopped out of the small item.

"You should probably take a look at it boy. Jumpy as you are, I think you are even making Fawkes nervous, not even speaking about us." The voice that spoke up came from the portrait of a young looking woman with jet black hair. She wore green robes on the image and was sitting on a big chair. A smile played on her face.

Another voice spoke before the Headmaster could answer.

"While I normally like to see one of the rare times when you are unsure of yourself Dumbledore, in this instance I agree with Dame Phyllida in this instance. And it is a shame for a headmaster of Hogwarts to act like this. Go and see what is holding the thing from working correctly and take care of the problem." Dumbledore turned to the portrait showing a man wearing a beard and with a turban. A twinkle appeared in his eyes.

"How unexpected for you to speak like this Phineas, but if you truly think so, I will follow your advice." Albus nodded and turned to a bird that had seemingly listened into the conversation. It was coloured like a golden fire and intelligent eyes stared back at the look of the headmaster.

"If you would Fawkes?" The bird gave a melodious trill and as Dumbledore stretched his hand out to it, it jumped without a moment of hesitation on it. The bird climbed on his shoulder and with another trill, a burst of flame appeared and devoured the two of them. A second later, both man and bird had vanished.

"It is certainly impressive; no matter how many times one sees it." Said Phineas Black before he turned back and seemingly decided to take a nap.

*Scene Break*

It was a perfectly normal day on Privet Drive 4 and there was nothing out of the usual. Vernon was off working and his wife Petunia was happily humming while taking care of the house. The women turned to the window, checking whether she could see any of their neighbours to check whether there was any worth into getting out and listening a little. There was nobody out though and so she continued cleaning the living room while listening to her beloved duddy boys playing. He had only gotten recently a number of toy cars from his father, oh wasn't he the most wonderful husband ever? She was so happy that she had found someone like him.

She was interrupted in her inner monologue by the house bell. The blonde women turned around while still humming, her pale eyes looking at the direction the door was situated. After a moment, she told her boy to be good and went to see who was at the door. When she opened the door, Petunia's smile vanished in an instant.

"Hello Petunia." The voice of Albus Dumbledore greeted the wife of Vernon Dursley. The old wizard was standing in the doorway and looked at her with interest. Petunia's thin face went through a variety of forms. First she showed shock and surprise, then her eyes popped out and her face showed an angry scowled before she finally answered the older man in sudden rage.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!!!?" She screeched with such intensity that it woke up a dozing cat sitting on the rooftop above them. The animal answered with its own scream and jumped away, but Dumbledore remained calm like there was nothing unusual about Petunia's outburst.

"Well dear, I know that you do not have the highest opinion of me, but wouldn't you prefer to talk about things inside? Do not worry because I have no plans for staying long. I just wish to take a look at young Harry as some of the protections don't appear to work correctly." The women looked at the old man with venom that few could gather, but she managed to suppress another scream. Yes, she didn't want anyone to notice Dumbledore, or worse, the fact that she was talking with him. Still....

"Protections, what are you talking about and who is this Harry? If you are talking about my sister's son, shouldn't you be talking with her?" She asked with, rage turning to icy coldness.

At that point Dumbledore's cool demeanour seemed to break and he blinked in confusion.

"What, did you not read my letter Petunia? You shouldn't joke like that after Lily and James death."

The women opened her mouth as if to retaliate, but stopped short, her eyes opening wide. "Dead?" She asked, her voice turning into a whisper suddenly.

The headmaster frowned and felt a suspicion grow inside him.

"Petunia, did you find a little boy in a based on the steps of your house three days ago?" The women blinked and shook her head in confusion. The old wizard's mouth opened and closed twice before he felt the desire to sit down.

"Petunia... may I please come inside. I fear there is much you do not know and there are things to discuss." The women showed him a look of unhappiness, though he felt like there was a tinge of regret appearing in her eyes for just a moment. Still, the woman agreed after a moment.

As Dumbledore considered stepped inside, he already activated the part of the wards which held an alarm. He had to find out as much as he could while others could try to follow other leads. This had to go as fast and as effective as possible. Still, he couldn't help but wonder.

"Did I fail them, Lily, James... Severus?" He whispered a moment after stepping inside.

 

Quite the contrary Albus: you failing made a young boy's better than what would have been. So yeah, fifty-fifty.

 

Isn't it sad that one of the best things that ever happened to Harry was likely the fact that Dumbledore failed at making sure he was protected from People that have nothing to do with Death Eaters and don't actually want to hurt him?

Also, question. Do you think I used a horrible cliche with the whole "A few of the Devices in Dumbledore's Office Keep check of Harry's wards" thing? I know that there is nothing in Canon and someone in Spacebattles already mentioned it, but it just makes no sense to me that Albus wouldn't have some way to Keep check of Harry's protections and find out whether someone is trying to break through them. Arabella is Kind of limited by being a Squip and thus not having any Magic.

And do you think Dumbledore acts too stupid? I thought he was pretty straightforward and trying to do this as fast as possible, but I may have mistaken that.

 

Chapter 1: The Average Life Of A Normal Boy​

The boy moved through the undergrowth with skill and grace that wasn't often seen among children his age. His feet moved left and right of roots that would have tripped many others and he jumped onto a particularly low branch with incredible ease. It was probably not higher than one and a half-metre, but that was still quite impressive.

He smiled, happy that everything was going good. Then the wood below him creaked and his mouth opened to a shocked scream as the branch broke and he fell to the ground. He landed in a rolling motion, minimizing the effect of his impact which hadn't been particularly high anyway.

"Mistake boy, come on, you can do better. Once again from the start."

The voice that had spoken came from the form of an ancient looking man, tiny in height, but sitting upon the crown of a particularly majestic tree with casual ease. His head was almost bald, only a bit of white hair remaining on the sides of his scalp. He was puffing on a pipe, black smoke escaping from the opening every couple seconds, before he blew out a stream of it himself.

"Oh come on dad, you cannot tell me to go through the entire forest like that again. I followed the signs and moved as needed without tripping or anything. How is it my fault that the tree there is already falling apart? Agility training is boring."

The old man sighed. "Boy, you are already six years old, so I cannot just let you skip training all the time." His eyes turned to the child and he attempted to look intimidating and serious, but upon the pout of the lad, he couldn't help but turn away. "Though, now that you say it, I did want to check out the city for a bit. And you cannot really train without someone checking over you, so we will have to stop for now and start again tomorrow."

Once again, he took a few puffs from the pipe and then jumped down from the tree without a sound. The jump that was multiple stories high didn't even seem to trouble him and he landed without leaving even an imprint on the ground. He moved forward with speed that would have put Olympian champions to shame, twisting through the thicket of bushes and trees without problems.

"What are you waiting for Xiàn? If you aren't fast enough, there won't be any ice cream left for you."

The dark haired child blinked and then cheered loudly before jumping forward to follow his parent figure.

*Scene Break*

The city was relatively small and situated next to a small river. The signs with Chinese writing next to the streets showed anyone that stepped inside where they were. The unequal pair had walked through the streets and found the shopping district.

"So what do you want boy?" The old man asked while pointing at the number of different types of ice cream. The iceman looked at the small boy with a smile and bowed slightly before him and the older man.

"We have chocolate and strawberry, coconut and pistachio and many more." He said while showing off the different boxes filled with the aforementioned ice types.

The boy hopped up and down, seemingly incapable of deciding.

"I want.. I want vanilla and pistachio and chocolate!" He finally said, deciding on a combination. The boy got a big bowl of ice cream and Happosai chuckled as he started eating with glee.

"That is 30 yen please." The salesman said, turning away from the boy that was now eating his product. He blinked in confusion when he didn't see the old man standing in front of the cash point as expected. His head turned back to the child, but the black haired boy had also vanished.

When he next looked out of the window, he just saw the old man turn a corner, holding the boy on his collar with a pipe in ways that defied common sense. He also seemed to jump right through the air, which was necessary for the boy not to be dragged on the ground after him.

His mouth opened for a few seconds in disbelief.

"Thief!!! Wait, there is a thief! Capture him!"

*Scene Break*

Xian hung in the air, one hand holding the bowl with ice cream while he was using the other to eat it with a spoon.

"Did you have to do that? It is not really comfortable eating like this." He asked while the old man jumped onto a car and then off a wall to move faster.

"Of course boy, an old man like me cannot pay for every single thing." He laughed and moved further, taking a cue for a group of pedestrians.

"Boy, go and catch what you can. This is gonna be another good haul." The old pervert said as his free hand moved like a whirlwind.

"Huh?"

"Iyyyaaaaaa!!!"

"Whaaaaaaaaaa!!"

Wind blasted through the streets and the females among the pedestrians soon found their skirts blowing upwards. They moved to hold them down and the ancient martial arts master moved in.

"Do I have to?", Asked the bored sounding voice of the boy.

Happosai just gave him a short look that told him that he had gotten a ice and should help him for a bit.

"Ahhh... okay, okay." He said and held his hands out.

The old man moved like a tornado, blasting from one female bystander to another. Underwear blasted through the air and filled the sky, only to be caught by the skilled hands of a boy. The pieces of clothing were then stored in a cloth bag that Happosai also threw into the air.

"Hahahah! What a haul, what a haul." The old man dodged a punch a female threw at him and jumped onto the rooftop of a particular house. Then he moved further over the various buildings roofs.

It was just a rather normal day in the life of the boy that was known among some as Harry Potter and his adoptive parent Happosai.