I Don’t Want to Become Firelord, but I Might as well Save the World

[Dirty Doug]

Chapter 1: In which I discover the perils and advantages of Imperialistic Nations

Firebending came from the breath.

That at least had always been clear to me.

Was it innate knowledge? Something else? The niggling strange thoughts at mind that never truly left me alone.

Yet Chi itself was what fueled our firebending, so as much as breath was important, I personally felt that it was at most ancillary to what was actually important.

In my strange memories, there was a man named Piando who had defeated an entire contingent of one hundred Fire Nation soldiers. It was not bending that had granted him his victory; it was not the singular metal blade; it was his chi.

What was chi then?

That was perhaps a greater mystery, but my own experiences had given me information on the subject. I believed with my limited evidence that part of chi must come simply from the spiritual essence of a person, the soul.

People were born with varying amounts, and as I was, I knew I had been born with very little.

Insultingly little actually.

Did this mean my soul was lesser?

The new warmth I had felt on my waking had been as a candle, flickering slightly in my body, barely anything.

When I had been in my richly appointed crib, red drapes covering the world, I had seized the moment alone, flicking my hand outward, a single orange spark had flickered off my hand.

Such a thing may have disheartened many would be benders.

Yet fire bending came from the breath.

I sucked in a deep breath filling my lungs to capacity, the organs inflating fully within my still small chest and as I did so I felt something more. Something energetic filtering into me, beyond the air, something else entered me, and I suppressed a shiver of my weak, small body feeling the current energy stretch through me. Filtering along still small unused pathways, spreading throughout my body, heat seeping through my limbs.

The candle in me grew slightly, almost infinitesimally, yet I was sure it had grown.

I settled into my crib, focusing deeply. There was something knowing at the edge of my conscience, and since I had nothing better to do than breathe, I decided to multitask and also think.

Why was I here?

Who was I?

I felt fragmented, like there was a larger part of me, but that somehow that piece had been turned to mush, leaving me in this state.

Oh well, I was sure I would figure it out eventually.

---

My first conscious meeting with my parents would reside within my memories for the better part of my life.

The stern black haired man with a goatee frowning at me, the gentle black haired woman with soft, caring eyes that did little to hide a deep-seated discomfort.

They seemed to be my parents, which I supposed should have mattered more to me; something about their appearance prodded at me, but I was unable to shake the deep-seated discomfort their presence evoked in me. The way they talked to each other, the language of their bodies, it was evident that they did not love each other.

Yet when the black haired woman appeared by herself in the room as she often did, there was something softer and kinder in her eyes; she would hold me and murmur to me words I began to understand were of love.

I had only seen the man by himself one time as he had stared down at me impassively, his very presence so close to me felt like a smoldering sun, I somehow could feel the man's strength, tightly leashed and controlled.

I couldn't help but find it unsettling, or perhaps it was the mere fact his eyes glittered with something cold in them when they examined me, something malevolent.

Time passed. I focused on my breathing, and the energy within me grew larger, and the energy swept throughout my limbs, down my nerves, through my brain.

Walking under one's own power was something I had taken for granted, but it had taken me a not inconsiderable amount of time to manage the feat once again, something very much encouraged by the woman who had entered my life, who was named Ursa, or so I thought from the words of the man.

That name tingled at me as I walked across the floor of the halls outside my room, dressed in soft red silks, attempting to control my still somewhat unsteady legs that gained more surety with each passing day.

It was rather surprising how large this place was, or I supposed perhaps it wasn't, if I was where my memories thought I was. I stumbled down the hallway in the dead of the night, the low lights of the hallways providing just enough illumination for me to make my way.

I was unsure of my destination, but I knew anywhere was better than lying awake in my bed.

The energy I breathed in had grown the candle inside me considerably, my representation of what I thought to be my chi, and as the candle grew, I found myself able to draw on it to provide energy that, otherwise, a young, growing boy like me might need to attain from sleep.

Which was just fine with me, my night wanderings had provided excellent insight into my existence.

My destination tonight was a familiar one, and slipping in through the next set of doors, I arrived in a massive library filled with an uncountable number of scrolls cloaked in darkness. I cupped my palm, and a small flame flickered into existence upon it, something I had not shown my parents yet, showcasing the library in sharp relief.

When I first came here, I had been overwhelmed, yet I had discovered a boon, for some reason, I was able to read just as I had realized no one expected my current cognition from a boy who could not even be considered a toddler. I slipped around a couple of bookcases and eventually found my destination, the section filled with histories.

Not knowing where to start, I had selected the scroll labeled as the first one in the series.

The knowledge was familiar, yet it wasn't.

A world of four elemental nations, the Water Tribes, the Earth Kingdom, the Air Nomads, and the Fire Nation.

Except the Fire Nation had wiped out the Air Nomads in a retaliatory attack to defeat the Air Army before they could do the same and destroy the Fire Nation.

I frowned, tracing the scroll thoughtfully. That was incorrect; somehow, I knew that, yet why would the scroll lie?

Absentmindedly, I traced the Fire Nation symbol emblazoned across the scroll's side.

"History is written by the victors," I murmured the phrase filtering through my mind, and something uncomfortable stirred in my chest. A small pang in my head that couldn't be rubbed away.

I kept reading through the scrolls, an uncomfortable weight in my chest as I considered each one.

The weight did not dissipate the more I read. A hundred-year war stalemated with the rest of the world. A glorious conquest. A great war.

"Wars do not make one great," I mumbled to myself, a phrase I had heard somewhere, yet I found it hard to remember.

I filed the history scrolls away, uncomfortable, and began searching for my actual objective, bending scrolls.

I had seen demonstrations of several guards using the flames in martial arts, and I was very curious about moving toward that topic in my own way. I was young but I knew I needed the head start. With my chi as it was, I needed any advantage I could take.

I found the fire bending scroll I had last looked at; it was an odd thing, not focused on the actual movements, but conceptually what fire bending was.

Something I was very curious about.

I sat and read, keeping the fire alight on my palm, thoughtfully reading the scroll, focusing on the information about the chi meridians. How the cycling of chi strengthened the pathways, this was something I had already discovered on my own, but the more I read, the more I refined my thoughts and my future practice.

Consistent, constant meditation was likely not any toddler's idea of fun, yet I found that I actually rather enjoyed the activity.

Perhaps it was because I had started from so little, but the more my chi grew, the better I felt, the stronger I became.

---

I lay back against the roof, humming a song a court musician had sung, twirling the straw between my teeth idly, keeping the small flame at the very end of it lit, not letting the flame consume the straw at all, but holding it in place by fueling with my chi rather than letting it consume the straw. The small point of fire would occasionally flicker from warm orange to something tinged blue, then back.

The life of a member of the royalty of the Fire Nation was truly not all it was cracked up to be, I thought to myself. Why someone would choose or desire to sit around all day in stuffy clothing as the people around you blew metaphorical smoke up your metaphorical butt was beyond me.

Especially when they could be practicing their fire bending.

Even now, every breath I took was even, even as my body hurt from the exercises I had put it through. Something no two-year-old should be doing to themselves.

Yet I had a breakthrough with chi: If I exhausted myself physically, stretching and tearing my muscles, flushing heat through them soothed them to some extent, gold tinged flame sometimes flickering over my limbs, though perhaps that was my imagination.

Yet wasn't water the only element supposed to be able to heal?

Was I even healing myself or merely soothing my exhausted body?

A conundrum to be sure.

A cry sprang out from below me, and my eyes widened as I realized that something was happening below where my mother had been ushered into a room, and I had been barred from entering which had led to my idling on the roof, unwilling to be underfoot in the hallway, but needing to be close at hand.

My little sister was arriving, it must be.

I crept to the edge of the roof confidently, hooking my feet into the edge before lowering my body over the precipice to dangle just far enough to see through the window, to see my mother holding a bundle in her arms, my father notably absent.

I had to suppress the flush of anger through my system, now was not the time to worry about Ozai.

My mother was speaking, asking a servant something, "Zuko, where is Zuko?"

I blinked, surprised that she would be requesting me, but then I supposed I shouldn't be, the woman did seem to care for me, at least when my father was not in the room.

I was a little surprised, as dysfunctional a couple as my mother and father were, they had decided to have another child.

Probably equal parts the fact that they were royalty and that being absentee parents to a two-year-old didn't necessitate actual child care.

I supposed that wasn't fair, how many two-year-olds were as active as I was, and my mother did spend time with me, I just couldn't shake the feeling that whenever she looked at me, there was the smallest infinitesimal trace of fear.

Probably wondering if I would turn out like the rest of Fire Nation royalty, which, fair, I couldn't really argue with that. Also, the fact that I was two and probably shouldn't be aware of such things yet didn't do me any favors.

Still, I needed to focus. If my mother needed me, I should make an appearance.

The servants were moving back and forth wildly and didn't notice my entrance through the open window as I landed with a relatively soft thud, given my size.

"I'm here mom," I said attempting to smile cheerfully as if all was right with the world.

The entire room froze in a way I found oddly humorous as their attention focused onto me shocked not having seen me enter which they probably found especially strange as I was no where close to the door.

Ursa did not seem bothered though and gave me a tired smile for once the small fear lacking in her gaze, "Come meet your sister Zuko," she said softly lifting up slightly the bundle in her harms.

I walked forward cautiously, looking down at the baby, a little surprised to see her gaze a pure gold just like my own. Her eyes focused on me, almost narrowing slightly, and despite myself, I found that my lips had twitched upward in amusement.

I found I felt a certain camaraderie with this tiny creature. We were both stuck with these two parents.

"What's her name, Mom?" I asked, still meeting the baby's gaze.

"Azula," Ursa murmured softly, looking down at the child with a look that I was sure was supposed to say care, yet I found myself unable to say that was the whole of it. Just like with her gaze at me, there was the smallest trace of fear, as if wondering what this child would do.

Azula looked at her mother, and I wondered if somehow she saw through Ursa because her face scrunched up, and she opened her mouth, beginning to cry.

I reached out despite myself, gently stroking Azula's soft, downy-haired head, "I'm here Azula, as your big brother, I'll always watch out for you."

Probably overly erudite for a two-year-old, yet Ursa did not seem overly put off, smiling gently at the two of us.

Intellectually, I knew there was no way Azula would understand me, much less conceptualize my guarantee, but her crying slowed as she opened her eyes, looking back at me as I gently stroked her head.

Some part of me was distantly aware of what this child could be capable of. The pain and harm she could cause, a faint memory of crazed laughter and blue fire. Yet right now, I did not see that, and even if I had, I didn't think I could do anything else; if our mother had already given up on us, I would do what was necessary.

---

I was four when my father caught me fire bending. It was not a bad run, if I'd say so myself.

My tea had gone cold, and I hadn't wanted to bother the servants, so I had touched the cup and reached beyond stimulating the water with my own energy, causing it to bubble rapidly as I reheated the cup to the correct temperature.

I had been sitting in the gardens as I often spent my time, and had been careless not searching for the presence of the man before I had acted. In my accounting, he should have been in some meeting about the ongoing war.

I was wrong.

"Zuko," the words emerged cooly from his lips as he walked across the garden toward me, and I found the situation strange as it was rare for the man to pay any attention to me.

The man's golden eyes narrowed, looking down at my cup, "You fire bent," his words were more intrigued than I had heard before.

I nodded simply, "Yes, father," I said, not wishing to antagonize the man, just from how the man's chi raged about him, I had long known the man's temper was ill-controlled.

He smiled, but it was more a sneer, as the usual when the man smiled, "As expected of a child of mine, you will begin taking lessons on the morrow.

And so I did.

---

My teachers attempted to begin my fire bending training from the beginning, but their beginning was strange. Hate and Anger seemed an odd formation for an element already as uncontrolled as fire.

Those parts of the lessons I ignored, the forms they taught, though, were useful.

Fire kicks, Fire punches, yet even as I showed my mastery in the day, it was the nights that I found were more informative.

It was the nights that were only illuminated by the moon that I did my best work.

In the dark shadows of the palace, I practiced the forms far past what I did in public.

Already, I had heard the mutters of 'prodigy' said throughout the palace, though it was only I who knew the falsity of those words.

Perhaps my mind was more developed than the average four-year-old, but my talent did not come from being born with the large stores of chi that were expected of the royal family. Rather it was years of hard work, meditation, exercise, that no child would choose to go through, yet I had subjected myself to because the alternative was to engage in a childhood that I had no interest in.

Perhaps my ability wasn't fully due to hard work, I found that at least in physical activity and motion, I had some modicum of talent. My body moved as I directed it. My muscles strengthened from constant channeling of chi from the moment I was born, made me able to move as no child should.

That was to say, I was not ungrateful for my abilities and my dedication, but perhaps because my mind was not that of a four-year-old, I found it hard to be overly proud of my accomplishments.

I stopped my practice in the darkness, and my gold eyes glinted as I channeled my fire through them, making the darkness of little consequence. I was fully aware from my lessons that my comfort in the night was not normal for fire benders. We were Agni's children, and the sun was the source of our power, yet perhaps because of my childhood so far, I did not like the idea of complete reliance upon the spirits.

I slipped through the quiet hallways of the palace, slipping deftly around guards and servants, dodging the circles of light from the candles and lanterns they carried.

Into the bedroom of my sister, I slipped, not at all surprised to find the room lit in a golden hue despite the lateness, and her impatient gaze landing upon me.

"Zuzu!" she growled, "You're late!"

My sister was a rather precocious creature; she would glare and snap, and sometimes there was a cold smile on her face as a servant tripped and injured themselves. I had already seen the worrying looks my mother had sent her way, the lack of time she would spend with her, even less than I.

It was just another point in Ursa's shameful ability to parent.

I did not truly mind, though, I smiled gently at Azula and reached out to ruffle her hair, which only caused her scowl to deepen.

"I'm sorry,' I said with a small grin, "It was shameful for me to arrive late to such an important meeting."

"You're not sorry at all," Azula glared even harder at me but I saw the small pout and the beginning of a trembling lip.

I sighed softly, settling myself on her bed, looking down at the toddler. Azula didn't always take well to my teasing. "Of course, I am, Azula, I should have been more conscious of how late it had gotten."

It was the truth, with how much time I spent awake in the night, it was difficult sometimes to keep track of when I should be in my sister's room for her night time story.

"How about this," I said softly, bending down slightly to meet Azula's eyes that had flickered away from me in anger, "I'll get a present for you to show you how sorry I am, does that sound good, Azula?"

Azula's face scrunched in consideration before she slowly nodded, "No dolls," she said firmly, though she looked slightly mollified.

I gave the girl a look of mock horror, "Of course not, only the best for my princess!"

I spotted her lips twitching even more but this time to prevent a smile she was trying to suppress, and I found myself grinning at the tiny terror who since her birth had taken a not inconsiderable amount of my time, yet had given me something I wasn't realizing I was missing, a small warmth that I carried with my through the halls of the palace, the tediousness of my training and learning, and the dark of my night walks.

---

At the age of eight, I sat opposite Prince Iroh, the heir to the Fire Nation, and my Uncle, he had spent a long time on the front lines of the war in the Earth Kingdom and this was the first time he had been back in quite awhile. I looked at the man, and I couldn't help but wonder who he was. He wasn't like my own father, that at least I was able to tell.

Lu Ten, my cousin and the likely inheritor after Iroh, also sat with us.

I wondered if they had walked the dark halls of the palace and had heard what I had. Whispers of my father Ozai's desire for the throne, said so lowly that I had to strain myself to hear.

It would never happen as it was now. Iroh, the Great General who led the forces of the Fire Nation on their conquest.

Yet I couldn't help but wonder, strange thoughts filtering through my head as I regarded the pair who had asked for my presence.

I was unnecessary. I knew I would never be Fire Lord, something I was glad for because as I read through the library, I couldn't help but find my dedication lacking.

A war headed for its hundredth anniversary, and for what?

Another thing had flickered through my mind at those thoughts, a war meeting, a father pressing his hand against the face of his son's face, open flame to leave a permanent mark.

Was it the spirits I had heard so much about who granted me these visions? If so, it would certainly explain much about my life.

"Tell me, about yourself, nephew," Iroh said in his warm, jovial voice, "I hear much said about your talents with fire and even more about your keen mind."

"Thank you, Prince Iroh, your words do me honor," I murmured the words by wrote, yet I did not feel them.

Iroh chucked, seemingly amused, "Your politeness does you credit," he hummed, but his eyes were sharp, too seeing, too knowing, "Even my father has spoken of your abilities, that is no mean thing."

Of course, Fire Lord Azulon had mentioned me, I smiled my typical passive polite smile, "The Fire Lord's words honor me as well, I did not think my demonstration enough to impress him."

How unfortunate that the man had walked in on my training, though I supposed it was only a matter of time. Even against the forces of Imperial Fire benders, I had found myself bored by the simplicity of their use.

For them, Fire Bending was a form of attack, a martial art.

It was a lacking interpretation.

Fire was life; it was everything. To simply view it as a method of attack hurt me, and I wondered how others could feel so. Did they not feel the warmth of the sun, the heat of their chi in their veins?

Yet maybe I shouldn't be surprised, the older I grew, the more aware of the sickness of this nation I saw.

My sister began learning firebending after shooting sparks at the age of four, something incredible, and I was not surprised, as I felt the strength of her chi was incredible, far beyond her age, yet I found her master's teachings lacking; they pushed her too hard.

How much excellence could you expect from a six-year-old?

So I had done what I had done what I did best. I had slipped my way into Azula's training and, when necessary, faced down her teachers if I found them too harsh. Always calmly, politely, asking for clarification when they pushed too hard, narrowed eyes, cool looks, perhaps asking for them to demonstrate with a spar against me when necessary.

Only twice had I had to forge a letter or whisper a word in the correct ear, subterfuge that I hated and found antithetical, yet what else could I do when I found the small burn marks on my sister's hands, even when I had soothed the redness away with flickers of golden flame.

I had avoided my father's attention so far, though perhaps not Fire Lord Azulon's or Prince Iroh's.

Perhaps I should have avoided blasting the last teacher through a door, though I had expected their block to have enough firmness to prevent such, especially against a strike that was half powered.

Such events had spiraled well beyond my control now, to suppress so I was not surprised Iroh had heard. Still my intervention had precipitated Azula's entry into an all girls academy where she claimed to have made some friends, a girl named Mai, and another girl named Ty Lee.

So I couldn't be too disappointed.

"I find myself having been a poor Uncle indeed, so I would like to offer a gift to you Prince Zuko, is there anything you would like?"

Well wasn't that convenient because a name had surfaced in my memory and I was interested to pursue it, "If possible I would like to learn how to use a sword," I said smiling softly.

Iroh hummed and stroked his beard in thought before an idea seemed to catch alight in his golden eyes, "Then perhaps you would like to visit Piando?"

I carefully did not smile and pasted on a curious expression, "Who?"

---

Six months had passed since I had disappeared from the Palace, and I was unable to shake the uncertainty that drifted through my thoughts from such an action.

Piando's training had been informative, and the feeling of his chi more so.

The construction of my pair of Dao had been like making a new friend, and my ideas had spun about what they would enable in my journey through the palace shadows.

What had been less helpful was meeting my sister again, whose face had been a cold mask as she sneered at my arrival.

"Hello, Azula," I murmured, looking down at the six-year-old.

"So you've come back," she sniffed, her eyes like daggers.

"Of course," I smiled at her, "And I have a gift."

Others in the palace had remarked that Azula did not demonstrate emotion, a cold front like the blue of the fire she had begun to conjure.

I knew they were wrong from personal experience, even now her eyes were glimmering in desire, her lips had the smallest of curves as she refused to smile.

I reached into my belt and pulled free the dagger I had forged for her and handed it to her.

Her hand shot out, snatching it, and I could see the suppressed glee in her eyes as she examined it, drawing the blade free from its sheath before blinking and examining the slightly blue-tinted steel.

"Love will never leave your side?" she turned to look up at me, frowning, "What's that supposed to mean?"

I smiled, ruffling her hair despite myself, "I forged that dagger for you, it's a reminder that I'll always be here for you."

Her frown deepened her golden eyes, flickering with confusion, "I don't understand Zuzu."

My heart panged as I looked at the confused frown on her face, my thoughts were already weighing on my conscience as knowledge that I would not be here forever, that there was too much I had to do.

"You will," I said softly.

Azula's frown deepened for a moment before her eyes lit up, "Wanna play with my friends?!" she crowed proudly, and I listened patiently, unable to suppress the ache in my heart.

---

It was Mai and Ty Lee, the girls I had heard about prior, and I found upon my return to the palace, I ended up roped into their games.

They were seemingly opposites of each other, but the more I got to know them, I discovered how the trio truly was the same.

They did not know the love of their families, so based on the urgings of my memories, I had decided that these two were also my responsibility.

Running around and slipping away from the acrobatic grasping fingers of Ty Lee, dodging the knives of Mai, and the small jets of flame from Azula at least made for an interesting time.

And if their parents were all too willing to make sure that Mai and Ty Lee spent the maximum amount of time possible in the palace with Azula, it was not because their holdings in the Royal Court were strengthened by their involvement.

Despite the fact that playing and entertaining them cut into my time during the day, I merely redoubled my focus on my training during the night.

It was at the age of ten that I infiltrated the royal archives, finding the description of the technique I had been looking for based on the memories that filtered through my mind.

Lightning Bending.

It had been a month of training my chi before the lightning storm had erupted over the capital, and I had found my cover slipping out into the rain and positioned away from the palace with only the dark flashing sky for company, I had focused.

I was sure that this would be difficult, but focus was not something I lacked.

I grasped my chi and drew it apart along my arms, my mind a keen blade through water before I drew the chi apart, perfectly separating all of it, not taking in a single breath, before I let the bolt fly true through the sky, one bolt among many of the lightning storm.

I released my breath, running golden flame over my arm, feeling a small tingle of the electricity I had not managed to perfectly corral the energy through my body.

Well, nothing that practice would not make perfect.

For the rest of the storm, I stood in the rain, soaking me through entirely as I was chilled to the bone, releasing lightning back into the sky.

And if I imagined Ozai's face among the clouds, that was for my own thoughts alone.

---

Through the gold of the palace, through the darkness of night, I had heard the beginnings of the next offensive.

In my hands, I had held a scrap of paper, my lips twisted in a frown. My Uncle Iroh was to begin his siege on Ba Sing Se, and at the same time, the Southern Raiders were to begin their attacks on the Southern Water Tribe, apparently searching for the last water benders on that part of the world.

It seemed the gold I had spent and the whispers I had incited had reached their limits.

There was nothing I could do about Ba Sing Se, my Uncle was not a person that could be easily dissuaded, the day they had left and I had hugged Lu Ten goodbye, I had spent in the family crypts hidden in the shadows letting tears disappear where they could be hidden,

The Southern Water Tribe, on the other hand… the paper I held erupted in a flash of blue flame, and I brought my black hood over my face, the blue spirits mask covering the rest of my features.

Through the night, I ran, leaping over the rooftops, staying within the shadows, drawing in the light around me with deep breaths till I was but another patch of darkness. I ran through the city till I found the beginnings of the assembly of the Southern Raiders Fleet, all directed by one man's ambition.

The issue, of course, with the singular driving of ambition amongst one man who kept the secrets of his discovery to himself was that they were the sole point of failure.

Sneaking into his ship I found the man in his cabin illuminated by a single flicker of his candle, so focused on his map that he was completely unready as I pressed a single fingertip to the back of his chest a bolt of lightning leaping free from my fingertips causing the electricity that beat in his heart to go haywire.

An instant heartattack.

The man choked and collapsed over his desk; cautiously, I thumbed through his documents before finding the ones that had the details of the information he had learned about the water benders of the Southern Tribe.

I breathed, and a blue flame rippled out of my mouth, causing the entire stack to disappear, not even leaving the faintest traces of ash.

I nodded to myself, slipping out of the ship completely undiscovered, making my way some distance before I stopped by the water to release the contents of my stomach, the man's contorted face stuck in my mind.

The next day, there had been talk in the court about the unfortunate death, but the idea of attacking the Southern Water Tribes had died with the man. I could take no real joy in that news, for I knew Ba Sing Se would still suffer.

My instructor that day had his body broken through a column of our training room, as my diligence had failed me.

---

A year went by, and the siege dragged on. My Uncle sent back a dagger and a doll.

I could already see the frustration building on my sister's face as she gazed down at the pathetic cloth.

I hummed and looked at the girl before I held out my dagger, "Want to trade?" I grinned at my sister, who looked up, shocked.

Her eyes flickered greedily to my dagger, and I suppressed the amusement on my face, knowing the girl would not take it well. She looked between the two of them for a moment before, somewhat shyly, she nodded.

Holding the Earth Kingdom doll in front of me, I mused to myself, the best place to put the thing.

---

The wall was breached, and the only cost was my uncle's son, alongside, of course, the other countless lives expended by the Fire Nation and sacrificed by the Earth Kingdom.

I hated myself and found myself hating the Fire Lord even more, though those quiet treasonous thoughts remained in my head.

My father did not miss the opportunity to go before the Fire Lord, Azula had demonstrated her bending, and I felt the warm flicker of pride as she easily completed the form I had coached her in, to the pinnacle of perfection.

That warmth faded as we were all dismissed from the room, except for Ozai, and after directing Azula to run along, I had slipped back through a secret entrance I had found to listen.

Azulon had spoken his voice similar to the coiling serpent he was, of course, it made sense that he should now be in line for the throne, Iroh's line was broken.

Something like fear had coursed through me as Azulon had spoken his pronouncement, "You will know the pain of losing a firstborn son."

So Grandfather had ordered me dead, well, wasn't that something? As I slipped out of the room and slipped through the shadows of the hallway, I spotted my mother walking away, her face contorted for a moment before her eyes landed on me. "Zuko," she murmured gently, bending down before me. My eyes met hers.

I realized now that perhaps I had not spoken to her enough, that even with the times we had spent with Azula in the gardens, there was still so much left unsaid.

"I'm sorry, Mom," I murmured, encircling my arms around the woman, holding her gently.

"Oh Zuko," she murmured into my hair, and I felt hot tears soaking through it.

She pulled back, and now there was a firmness in her face. She looked at me softly, "You have to promise to take care of your sister," she murmured.

I frowned, looking at the woman before I parsed the double meaning, "You can't," I whispered.

Ursa gave me a soft smile, brushing a hand over my face, "Of course I can, you're my son, I'd do anything for you."

She stood up and walked away, and with each step she made, my heart ached more.

I walked through the palace to my room to find my sister waiting on my bed, looking nervous.

"What's going on, Zuzu?" she asked softly, her tone nervous, her eyes shimmering slightly.

A small surge of pride swept through me unexpectedly; this girl was not the girl in my dreams; there was no cruelty, no anger, just a sweet girl whom I had the honor of taking care of.

Even if her smiles were sometimes too wicked for their own good.

"It's nothing Zula, how about I read you a story?"

"Love amongst the dragons!" Azula replied excitedly, and I smiled. I had my own fondness for the story; after all, the ending where the Blue Spirit returned the young firebender to the land of the living to be with those he loved just added such a special part to the story.

If only all stories could have such happy endings.

---

Firelord Azulon died that night.

Firelord Ozai emerged.

Ursa vanished into the wind, and I had made sure there was no trace to follow her. Someday, if I made it through the coming years, perhaps I would track her down, but now it was best that not even I would be able to trace her existence.

Just as I had erased the reports that had come about rumors of the existence of remaining airbenders, some knowledge was best left gone.

Azula remained with her friends, and I still engaged them in their games.

They played like rambunctious children, albeit children who could very easily cause grave injury, dragging me into their games.

We laughed and played, and even when I had to check some Azula's outrageous ideas of placing an apple on Mai's head to put a firebending blast through to core the apple, no one seemed to truly linger and become upset.

And if Mai's eyes focused on me for longer periods of time afterwards, I did not draw attention to it.

Introducing Ty Lee to the rooftops of the palace had been an interesting idea, but I had not expected her to take such joy in running across them. Even though it did mean she spent less time in her own home.

Ty Lee sought me out more often to observe her acrobatics, then it was worthwhile to pay attention to her as she showcased her amazing technique and talent, if only for the smile that was on her face. After all, it wasn't every day you could see the legendary chi blockers of the Fire Nation in action.

And if Ty Lee came to me out more often than was strictly appropriate for the noble daughter of a Fire Nation family, especially one tried in her art, then it wasn't a problem, as it never reached anyone else's ears.

During the days we played, learned, and practiced together, and my gentle instruction of Azula continued.

Such instruction would end with us eating together, and then invariably I would find myself washing up from the day with scrubbing her hair gently in her large bath, followed by reading one of the many plays I had memorized to her while performing the voices and firebending shows alongside them.

Azula drifted off to sleep with a small, pleased smile on her face, her dreams undisturbed by any troubles.

And if Ozai's meeting carried on far longer during the days he would have attempted to train Azula, thus leaving her without his instruction, then that was merely the burden of being Fire Lord, something he had sought wholeheartedly.

The days passed, and the webs I had spun in the dark of the night continued to spread. The Fire Nation had reached a stalemate with the rest of the world. Troops moved about, yet actual gains were limited, yet each movement was supported by the War Council and by extension the Fire Lord.

This was not so surprising, strategists said, the war had been going on for almost a hundred years, could it really be expected that more recent gains would be made, especially after the loss at Ba Sing Se. At least the casualties were down on their side.

I couldn't help but find myself distracted as I followed the reports of my Uncle, wondering when he would come home.

It was another year before I heard from him again.

---

"Guess who?!" chirped the weight on my shoulders even as my eyes were entirely covered by the palms of a familiar energetic girl.

I laughed, though I didn't pause the stroke of my brush across the parchment in front of me as I continued to write.

"It must be Mai, of course," I said, faux confidently, and I felt reverberations of the girl above me groan.

"No silly!" she sighed.

"Hmmm, then Azula?" I asked.

I slipped around the chi blocking finger, aimed for my back as I turned, laughing, looking at miffed Ty Lee.

"Hey, watch those fingers," I scolded gently, "They hurt when you poke me too much." Ty Lee giggled and backflipped away, and I watched as she joined her friends once again, settling by the pond the group had unofficially claimed.

I felt the heat of a familiar chi walking through the garden and spotted a familiar man, hair now with far more grey, but with eyes now carrying a softness they did not have before. A small note of uncertainty was visible on his face as he looked at my little group of miscreants.

I stood up and walked up to the man and embraced him softly, "Uncle," I murmured, a faint touch of a golden flame flickering over my fingers behind his back as I gently checked his health. His chi had been touched by something far greater than himself. How strange.

"Nephew," Iroh said jovially, and if he clutched me more tightly than he would have before, it wasn't my place to say.

And if when we played Pai Sho, and he now always opened with the White Lotus tile, then that was to be expected.

The War Meetings were boring, and the only reason I had convinced Iroh to bring me to them was to pass the appropriate information along my channels.

---

It was when one of the generals suggested sacrificing the 41st, a unit made up almost entirely of new recruits, to gain nothing but an insignificant advantage that I knew my moment was at hand.

Even as I objected, I imagined the pleased smirk on Ozai's face behind the wall of flame as I gave him the opportunity he had been looking for the last thirteen years.

On a personal note, I found it somewhat difficult, even as the pronouncement of Agni Kai rang out, to keep my own pleased expression from emerging.

Who wouldn't feel the joy of such a long-term plan coming together?

---

I kneeled shirtless, only a bright white cloth draped over my back signifying my devotion to Agni.

I already knew by feeling that the man behind me was Ozai, having spent more years than I cared for in his presence.

My lips quirked slightly upward as the final phase of my plan took shape.

I spun, and the cloth fluttered through the air, meeting Ozai's gaze head-on. His golden eyes a shade darker than my own.

I could see him searching my face for the fear he expected, his face an impassive mask which I knew was to hide the utter hatred he had for me.

Today, Prince Zuko would die.

I swept my fist down, generating a massive wave of fire, ripping forth from me, carefully titrated from its usual blue.

Ozai huffed and blasted forward to burst through the wave, but I could tell by the narrowing of his brow that it took more effort than he had expected.

Flame raged across the platform in the dead silence as I egged the man on in my head, meeting him flame for flame, encouraging the man on to do what I wanted him to do.

I pressed forward, splitting his flame wave and then curling the flame in my palms to jut out towards him, sinking even more chi into the flame to send a blast hurtling forward, which Ozai blocked but just barely.

The man hadn't been taking me seriously, years of hiding my own talents coming into play, and as his eyes narrowed, I knew now was the moment.

His hands windmilled, and the air crackled, and I smirked, letting him make the movement, the smirk hiding my own slight fear; what I was doing was stupid.

But also necessary.

Crackling blue lightning erupted forth, and I caught the tendrils with the tips of my fingers in the briefest of instants. I windmilled my other arm down toward the ground the flash of the lightning blinding the audience, and as the lightning ripped forth in a massive explosion, clouding the entire arena in smoke, even as it blew Ozai off his feet, and I let a small flame jut outward, slamming into the lower part of his torso, searing my last message home I smiled because the first part of my plan came to fruition.

It was, after all, technically, my win, though the world would not know for some years.

I gritted my teeth in pain even as I used my heat sense to navigate my way free of the cloud, invisible from the sight of the assembled people.

I slipped on the black cloak I had prepared just outside the arena and started running, slipping through the path I had planned out previously through the capitol with the ease of long practice, not taking a deep breath until I was on a small ship roaring out of the harbor, fueling the motor with my fire bending.

Even as I moved further out to sea, concern dwelled in my heart; the directions and funds I had left should protect Azula, Ty Lee, and Mai. Physically, they should be entirely safe unless the Fire Lord personally tried to kill them.

They should be protected by my perceived death. I thought it would be unfeasible after killing his own son with lightning that Ozai would make any bold moves for a while. Even the Fire Lord would lose some political power for that.

Agni Kai's were rarely supposed to be to the death. Using a pinnacle fire bending technique on their own son, I admitted myself curious how my father would deal with the fallout. Would he be able to tell that he had not actually managed to kill his son? Or would his confidence in his lightning bending remove such a possibility?

I rubbed my chest, coughing slightly, even as I pressed healing golden flames to it; I hadn't quite managed the redirection perfectly, focused as I was on my escape. A part of me wondered if I should have pushed myself harder, but even with as much as I had trained, I was uncertain about challenging Ozai like that.

I shook my head even as I planned out my next direction. The Northern Water Tribe was but the next step in my plan for the disposal of the Fire Lord. I wasn't particularly pressed for time as I had three years, but after so long of constantly focusing on the next objective, I found myself unable to wait to start making a difference outside of my home country.

I wondered how hard it would be to hide my fire bending.

---

I heard the reports some weeks later at the port I arrived at. At the age of thirteen, Prince Zuko died, overcome by his own Father's lightning, leaving the Fire Nation in shock. Already, the rumor I had planted had started flying alongside the information that the Prince's body had not been found, that perhaps the spirits themselves might have interfered.

I doubted that such a rumor would worry Ozai, I knew my father's disdain for the spirits, but also I knew that such a rumor would burn underneath the surface of my nation, especially given my careful stoking of the rumor, hopefully, perhaps making even ardent believers question.

As I headed north, the air became colder, not that it bothered me. Fire breath kept me warm even as I contemplated how exactly a Prince of the Fire Nation was to infiltrate the Northern Water Tribes' stronghold.

I had stopped at a final Earth Kingdom port after journaling through the rivers that intercut the Earth Kingdom. The port was awfully close to a Fire Nation colony, at least overland, so I had taken the chance to find just a bit more information about the situation I had left on the Islands.

Thankfully for me, I doubted Ozai would have thought to look for the accounts that I had taken and isolated from the royal treasury. With the use of the spy network, after setting up a dead drop with a note passed to a bartender, I surveyed the last package of information I would be able to look at until I returned from the North Pole.

With their insular nature, I had limited ability to place agents within the Northern Water Tribe. Except for one rather interesting man, though he had been contacted when he had been in the Earth Kingdom temporarily.

Given their trade with the northern portion of the Earth Kingdom, I still had some information about the place, something that my one contact hadn't been particularly keen on sharing.

I had taken the opportunity to dress in the dark blues of the tribe, purchased with some of the currency I had brought with me. Which still left me a problem, namely, my pure gold eyes.

I stared contemplatively at the mirror I held before me. Then I took a deep breath and raised a flickering golden fire on my hand and pressed it over my eyelids.

I focused deeply, letting the flame travel over the pupil and iris of each one, changing them, at least for the next three days, before the color would reassert itself.

I opened my eyes again and nearly flinched as I was met with a soulful ocean blue, though to my sharp vision I spotted a couple of remnant specks of gold in the irises. Nothing I hoped that would be very visible, but now, beside my rather pale skin, I figured I could pass as someone from a Water Tribe.

At the very least, I figured that no one would identify me as a firebender.

My dark hair was let down from its top knot and fell about my face freely, and thoughtfully, I pushed it behind my ears.

I checked over the rest of my outfit, the dark blue accentuated with white of the water tribe along my sheathed dao swords on my back.

My ship had been left to be watched at a permanent berth at the port, so with all that resolved, I made my way outside the Inn I had taken temporary residence in, heading for a clearly water tribe ship I had purchased a berth in.

No one gave me a second glance as I stepped onto the wood and made my way to the front of the ship, thoughtfully looking out into the ocean.

Soon enough, we were underway, going further North than I had ever been, and I was sure that without my breath of fire, the cold would have been intolerable, even with my warm clothing.

For several days, our journey continued, and I blended in relatively well with the crowd. I was quiet and kept mostly to myself, but I saw no hackles raised as my blue eyes and clothing set my surrounding travelers at ease.

I had even been asked to help haul in the nets on occasion, which I couldn't help but find amusing as the other sailors cussed and swore in admiration as I demonstrated superior strength pulling in nets with sheer muscle that even four of them could not handle.

"You're something else, boy, what's your name?" one of them asked.

I grinned lightly, forsaking the heirs of a noble with ease, it was after all not the first time I had hid my identity, "Hakoda." I shook his hand, matching the man's pressure with a fierce grin.

"Where are you from Hakoda?" the man asked.

I shrugged, giving the man an awkward smile, "I'm not sure, to be honest, I grew up in the Earth Kingdom before my mother left, she told me my father was of the Water Tribes, it's only now that I figured I should see some of my homeland."

The man nodded an easy smile on his face, "Well, good to have one return to the fold, you've at least got a good strong water tribe name," he clapped me over the shoulder, and I grinned in reply, the picture of the naïve boy I was pretending to be.

My first sight of the North Pole took my breath away, the high arching white walls, the ebb and flow of the ships from the locks powered by waterbending if I didn't miss my mark.

We merged with the flow, entering with little trouble before docking. I filtered off with the rest of the man returning home before I made my way with some directions to an Inn, where I paid with some Earth Kingdom currency. They were more than happy to take me in for a place to stay for the next month.

I spent the rest of the day wandering the city while managing my breath in the strange place I found myself, surrounded by my opposite element, a chill seeping throughout the pole that I maintained my defenses against.

I got the occasional look due to my skin, but my eyes seemed to assure the vast majority of people, along with how I had dressed myself, that I was in fact one of theirs.

Still, as night fell, I found my way to the top of one of the buildings made of ice, sitting at the edge of the rooftop to gaze off into the stars, the darkness surrounding me, providing enough of an appreciable cloak that I did not feel overly exposed. I surveyed the city, lost in thought.

Had I made the right decision?

My heart hurt in a way my healing could not touch. Would Azula be all right in my absence? Would she become the girl I had seen in my visions? What about Mai and Ty Lee?

Had my planning been too long-term? Had I taken enough into account?

I had been able to inhibit the war efforts of the Fire Nation, but now that I was no longer at the center of the spider web and had to rely on the efforts I had already put into place, I was scared.

Scared, what a strange emotion, the feeling of sadness and tension in my gut.

"Boy," a rough voice came from me as the warm presence finally seemed willing to speak. I did not turn, nor did I grab my swords.

"Master Pakku," I murmured respectfully.

I felt the man twitch in my heat signature sensing and I suppressed the faint smile at having caught the man off guard.

"You have me at a disadvantage, boy," the man growled, though he did not seem overly concerned just yet. And why should he? He was a master water bender surrounded by his element at night, with the moon in the sky.

"You can call me Hakoda," I replied, still staring out at the blue water, which reflected the waxing moon.

"What is your purpose here?" Master Pakku asked in a low growl.

I hummed thoughtfully as if I were considering his question, though in truth it was already a planned reply.

"I have information from the Blue Spirit," I said, still not looking at the man.

Master Pakku stiffened in my perception, and I felt his temperature increase slightly, likely as chi flow increased in his body. "Prove it," the man said.

I slowly reached inside my shirt and pulled free a scroll before I tossed it gently to him.

He caught it with ease and unrolled the parchment, his eyes surveying the script, legible in the light of the moon.

It was the patrol information for the Fire Nation navy within the scope of North Pole, all of it was accurate, and it was mostly only relevant to assure the man that, for now, there would be no raids.

"So you're one of their agents?" Master Pakku remarked stiffly, and my lips twitched up in amusement at the suspicion still in his voice, "I told the previous agent that-"

"You had no interest in working for them, I know," I finished for him, "This isn't about that, the Blue Spirit has a vested interest in keeping the North Pole safe, consider that his contribution."

"I should report you," Master Pakku said, though I could hear the resignation in his voice.

I laughed despite myself, "If you'd like to, but I'd at least like to tell you why I'm here."

I felt Pakku hesitate, and I was sure I had him then.

I fished into my pocket, taking a singular Pai Sho tile out before I tossed it to the man.

I felt him tense, the heat of his body shifting. I wasn't surprised after all; I had tossed him a White Lotus tile.

"Care for a game, Master?" I said airily.

---

Some Weeks Ago​

Not since his son had died had Iroh felt this despair.

He wondered if this was the punishment the spirits thought just for the evil he had committed.

For his hopes for the future to be whittled to nothing until he was left with a niece who he worried was dangerously close to having her fire broken, or alternatively, attempting to assassinate the Fire Lord.

He had managed to talk her into sitting with him in the gardens; her friends had joined her, though they seemed little better.

What had once been a cheerful smile on Azula's face had fallen to a passive, cold sneer as she looked out at the world in front of her.

Instinctively, Iroh reached for his White Lotus tile that was always tucked in his belt, only to blink, as his fingers instead found a tightly packed wad of paper.

He withdrew it, confused, idly opening the paper.

Uncle,

I'm terribly sorry for the inconvenience, but I found myself in need of your pai sho tile. I, of course promise to return it, but it may be some time. In the meantime, if you find yourself desiring a game, I would recommend checking with your numerous other partners whose company I have enjoyed and plan to enjoy in the future.

Love,

Zuko

P.S.

Your original firebending technique has served me quite well.

P.S.S

Tell Azula, Mai, and Ty Lee this exactly: "Zuko has always enjoyed the ending of Love Amongst the Dragons."

"Uncle?"

Iroh looked up at Azula's voice, who was looking at him with concern on her face. The coldness lowered for the moment, replaced by concern.

"Yes, my darling niece?" Iroh whispered, his throat thick and choked.

"Are you crying?"

He was, but unlike the tears he had shed so often recently, there was not the same reasoning behind these ones.

Iroh gave Azula a true smile, "I suppose I am," he murmured, "I just received the most wonderful news."

Azula cocked a brow at him her eyes narrowing, "What? Has a new tea shop opened?" she snipped.

Iroh grinned, "Better. did you know Zuko has always enjoyed the ending of Love Amongst the Dragons?"

Azula blinked, then blinked again, before her eyes widened.

Ty Lee froze in the middle of a handstand, looking at Iroh with her eyes wide.

Mai blinked before a small, uncharacteristic smile spread across her face.

---

Author's Note: And so marks my first entry on Questionable Questing. I've slowly been cross posting my stories between sites (especially because not only does ff.net not necessarily appreciate what I like posting, as far as I can tell, the site is moving more and more to being simply broken). There is some inspiration from Wandering Prince, but there's no point buy system here, there's little regard to ascending through spirutalism. I'm focusing on this story being half action/half political drama/half well I'm out of halves but there is an intent for things to take on a lewder nature, as inexperienced as I still am...