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I'm Here to Halp! A Juggernaut's Tale

KitsuneObsessedFreak · 2025-07-15T06:32:34+00:00

I'm Here to Halp! A Juggernaut's Tale 01: The beginnings of a new tale. Disclaimer: There will be a lot of death, destruction, and general calamities as this big goofball does his best to save the worlds he cherishes most, never truly realizing that he might just be making things worse. Probably no lewds though. Just some good old fashioned violence and some dark themes that may not be suitable for children. Reader discretion is advised. It was a long day. He had worked his heart out at his company, doing a bit of construction on a new set of chairs for the office just to help out the boss for a bit, and all the tools fell down the elevator shaft when the old thing broke and got stuck open just as he left it. He had been told it was his fault for overloading it, but the elevator was old and cranky, and it was a manual one at that. So, he didn't really think he could be blamed for it in the end. Still, he managed to rush down the stairs to a home-depot about a block away and pick up the tools he needed to make the chairs, rush all the way back up the stairs with the new toolbox, and help build the chairs they needed for the office setup they were making. All that made for real tired work, so when he went home, he found himself conking out on the bed right away. But his dreams were kinda funny. You see, normally he always dreamed about things like saving people with super speed or super strength, or using super durability to take a blow meant for the heroes he liked and shrug it off with a smile. This time however, he also dreamed about causing a lot of mayhem and chaos by breaking things as he did so, and he found he didn't mind. So long as he could help people, he was happy in the end. After all, that was what insurance was for, right? Still, he should probably respond to the Demon God guy that was standing in front of him at this point. It would be kinda rude to just ignore him. "You know, I really didn't think I was gonna be meeting a god when I hit the hay after work today," a large man with dark hair and big brown eyes grinned, holding out a hand to the Demon God in front of him. "I am Cyttorak," the being claimed, a light smile on their face. "Yeah, uh, nice to meet you and all, but what do you want me to do?" the large man asked, scratching his head with a confused expression. "I have come to offer you a covenant, Cain Night," the Demon God explained, but he had no idea what that meant. "Become my avatar and offer destruction in my name, and my powers will be yours to fulfil your greatest desires!" "Uh, what?" Cain asked, not entirely sure what he was being offered in the first place. The demon god sighed, pinching his nose in frustration. "I will give you the strength you need to do anything you want to do, like going to the worlds in your stories, so long as you smash things for me," he told the muscular man with a nod towards him. "So… if I wanted to, I could use your powers to be a hero? I could save people in my favorite stories as long as I break things around me too?" Cain asked, his mind filled with the possibilities of how he could do such a thing. "…Yes, you can be a hero," the Demon God nodded, his form wavering for a moment. "Do you accept my offer?" "Oh yeah, it's all coming together now," Cain grinned, shaking the Demon God's hand with his own and feeling the power flow through him in response. "Then go, enjoy your new life as a hero of destruction, and live the life you desire," he grinned. "Just remember, you may never accept a power other than my own that you do not take by force or otherwise truly earn," he smirked. "Uh, how do I get to the firs—" the Demon God tossed him through time and space, his up becoming left and his down becoming inside out as he flew. But even as he did so, Cyttorak's true form flashed in his mind, and he kinda looked like an alien squid from that one game, uh, Helldivers 2, but red instead of purple, and absolutely massive. "Seems like a nice enough guy though," Cain nodded to himself as he flew through the void. "Maybe this will be kinda fun." After a moment he smiled, "I even get to help people. That's pretty great!" Eventually, he broke through the barrier between worlds and smacked into something on his way down. He wasn't ashamed to admit he panicked upon seeing himself in mid air, face to face with a giant ugly angel thing of some sort. He immediately called on the warmth of Cyttorak's power within himself by instinct, and was covered in a massive suit of power armor — only to be flung around the battlefield like a wrecking ball. Some of the heroes panicked as building after building was smashed by his armored body, leaving him confused and disoriented for the entire thing. By the time she had stopped throwing him around and left, they had surrounded the area in a massive barrier and started building a dome so that no one could get out. He was a bit tired though, so he didn't think anyone would really mind if he just took a nap where he lay. Or something. He'd figure it out when he didn't feel like he was going to throw up in his new armor. ~~~~ After a quick nap, he woke up to the sounds of someone trying to pull his armor off of him for some reason. He simply brushed the very desperate man off, before he decided that it was a good time to figure out exactly where and when he was. "Hey uh," he looked at the man that was hanging off his armored arm and trying to bite it for some reason. "You know where we are?" he asked, not really expecting much from a man that had clearly gone rabid. "Ga grea ha da gru!" the raggedy man replied, screaming incoherently as he tried anything to get into the armor. "That's not gonna work buddy," Cain sighed, walking with him and pulling him off of his armor gently. Well, he tried to be gentle, but the man managed to twist himself in half as he was pulled away. Cain sat there for a good minute, shocked and unable to process for a while before moving on aimlessly, looking for any indication of what world this was. He was pretty sure it was Worm so far, based on the fact that he had been tossed around by a massive ugly angel-thing with unevenly placed wings, but he didn't want to make any calls on that quite yet in case he was wrong. Well, that was until he was smacked upside the head with a sign of sorts. One that said Canberra right on it. And then came face to face with a whole bunch of those strange rabid zombie-like people running around killing others with wide eyes and feral snarls. This was not his day. "Oh god, this is just," Cain looked at the corpse of what used to be just a crazy man and made a decision. "I'm gonna have to put them down aren't I? For their own good." He grimaced. "It would be better than living like this at least, right?" ~~~~ When he had said he was going to have to put them down, he wasn't really feeling like it had to be the only way. He punched buildings and wrecked them to make himself feel better about it, and help train his newfound strength, but he still felt like absolute garbage every time someone random came up to him with half-functioning tech, laser beams coming from their asses, or even acid breath to try getting him out of his armor for them to harm. Mostly because he was unable to stop them or reason with them without killing them. Still, as he did this, he noticed something strange. He had started being able to tell exactly which ones were Ziz bombs and which ones weren't, not due to how reasonable they were, but because he had fully committed to removing all the Ziz bombs from the world and gained a sixth sense for where all of them were. On top of this, he felt like he was growing stronger — better — with every building he broke and every Ziz bomb he killed. It definitely made him feel a lot better to know which ones were incurably broken even so. He felt like he could ignore the rest really and simply run away if needed. After all, he tended to outrun pretty much anything they had in a straight line, and could basically ignore their attacks. Especially if he was moving, because once he started moving he had yet to find something that could make him stop against his will. From high-tech bullets to busses, and even improvised explosives, nothing got past his armor, simply bouncing right off. Even powers that were supposed to stick him in place like glue, or burn him alive with napalm had absolutely zero effect on him whatsoever. And since he didn't need to eat, sleep, breathe, or use the restroom, he could stay in his armor as long as he liked! Of course, he could even redirect his own kinetic energy and use it to jump really high, or punch that much harder when he needed to. Something he made use of to help him with the bigger Ziz bombs a lot. Especially those that had really durable bodies. Unfortunately, he didn't think there was any way to save the actual Ziz bombs though. Nothing he could do to fix them at least. And he couldn't trust the people of this world to fix Ziz bombs. They clearly didn't know how! But hey, at least if he killed them, they could stop suffering, right? It was the best he was gonna get. So, he powered on, pasting all the Ziz bombs in the dome until no one was left who had the Simurgh's influence. And then he stood with his hands on his hips and smiled behind his armor. "Looks like it's time," he said, and began to walk. And pick up speed, slowly increasing the speed he walked until he was running. And then he ran faster and faster, picking up speed again until he made contact with the wall of the dome from the inside. Immediately as he did that, capes and military personnel of all kinds began attacking him, firing beams of light and esoteric energy in an attempt to slow him down. Hell, one of them even entirely encased him in some sort of foam, but he managed to move right through it! Still, he paid them no mind, and ran in a perfect circle through all of the dome until it all collapsed. The capes and military guys left looked at him in fear, their eyes wide as they called for backup. "It's okay guys, I got rid of all the Ziz bombs here," he told them with a thumbs up. "But now I gotta get to the next threat, so I hope you don't mind the mess!" "Wait, what are you—" a cape in a blue and white suit asked, but he was already running across the ocean and skipping on the waves to his next destination: China. ~~~~ When the sirens first went off over Canberra, and Legend was there to help drive off the worst Endbringer of them all, he knew things were going to be bad. What he didn't expect, was a massive, heavily armored man to appear mid-air and be rag dolled around hard enough to kill over three-quarters of the capes who arrived to save the city. He had figured that the man was most definitely dead by the time the Simurgh had left, driven off by Scions golden beams. Yet there was still one problem, the man got up. Evidently, several days after the fact, the man in the armor sat up and killed a civilian that was clinging to his armor by twisting them in half. And then proceeded to go on a gruesome and bloody rampage throughout the remains of Canberra, wrecking reinforced buildings and pillars meant to keep the Dome from simply collapsing on their heads. Dragon had managed to employ external measures to keep it from collapsing, reinforcing the outsides to ensure he was unable to breach the walls and installing many weapons systems to dissuade him from even trying. Yet the man seemed to hardly notice at all! It was as though he was completely indestructible, and certainly as mad as any that the Simurgh had managed to taint with her screams. The man even said something about having 'gotten rid of' all the Ziz bombs inside the dome, but he knew better than to trust the man at his word. He was clearly a Ziz bomb himself, in any case. So, he followed him as he made his way across the sea and tried his best to subtly remove his footing from underneath him, potentially slipping him under the water and causing him to drown. All while he called for backup, trying his best to keep from freaking out and attacking the man directly, as that hadn't seemed to work the first several hundred times the man had experienced it. It would be foolish to continue trying to attack him directly in the end. Not kinetic weapons, not energy-based powers, nor even esoteric effects seemed to do anything to the literal Juggernaut that continued along it's path, regardless of what anyone might desire. It was unfortunate, and nothing he tried managed to stop the man. He could only hope that the Yangban didn't manage to get control of him, as that could spell the end of the world as they knew it. ~~~~ AN: Kitsu: Hey, a new fic! Asdo wants me to do this one instead of Home Sweet Home from now on, so this one it will be on his dime. Home Sweet Home can still get commissioned by others if they want, so that's okay.

Thread starter KitsuneObsessedFreak
Start date Jul 15, 2025
Tags

arachnophobic commissioned story juggernaut kitsu did it again kronk marvel multi crossover multiverse travel non-lewd smash

Created: Jul 15, 2025

Status: Incomplete

Watchers: 84

Recent readers: 194

Threadmarks: 6

Yar! Here be a story of the Mighty Juggernaut, Cain Night, and his jaunt through the multiverse as he tries to fix his favorite worlds! He may be a strong and scary powerful being, but he's really just a big goofball who wants to help save his favorite worlds from despair.

Aka Kronk the Salaryman gains the power of Cyttorak's champion and gets told to go have fun being a hero in the multiverse, so long as he spreads destruction in his name.

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This shit about to get wild!

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KitsuneObsessedFreak

(Verified Fox girl Enthusiast) (Floof for Brains)

Today at 6:18 AM

So Asdo has approved and paid for two additional writers for this fic to make it a 3 way collab. Two of my filipino buddies are gonna be working with me on this, and we're going to get as much done as we can tbh.

We have plans to make the leviathan fight a monster of a chapter, with many many povs that will cost Asdo probably thousands by the time he's done simply because he told us that's what he wants, and for us to go absolutely as bonkers as possible.

Though even if we're aiming for that chapter to be a minimum of 50k words, I might break it into parts for posting, just so we don't piss off everyone on QQ lmao.

Here be hoping it works out!

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I'm Here to Halp! A Juggernaut's Tale

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