Let's Play Ditzy Dice [Ditzy Dice AARs]

[Wazzup]

This is basically just using the game Ditzy Dice as a horny writing exercise. Because why not? Warning, may require a lot of rerolls and some patience to get a writeable outcome.

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The world was dark. No, more than dark- pitch-black, and I wasn't entirely sure there was a world here.

Before I'd got here, it had felt like reality had… shattered, almost. Solid structures had given way to meaningless intersections, gravity had turned in multiple different directions, and the air's very thickness had become inconsistent. And now… I was here, wandering.

Well, I wasn't entirely alone- I could see a light in the distance, and so I approached it.

As I got closer, I could see that the light was colourful, and blinking slightly. Closer, and it began to have a shape. It was something cuboid, and the bright pink-and-green light on the top was a sign of some sort.

The language wasn't comprehensible to me, but the person manning the gaudy stall was. "Welcome, welcome!" said a man in a red suit, with a curly little moustache and a goatee. "Take a seat! It's not like you can do anything else around here."

Confused, I did so… and then felt something stick my butt to the chair with a sharp suction. A pink, sparkly disco ball became visible, and I felt… not quite calm, but significantly less alarmed than I should've been.

"And now that you're seated, as per the terms of the contract of seat usage, it's time for a game of cards," said the man smarmily. "Don't worry, you weren't getting out of here any other way than this. So! Let's begin."

With a flourish, he showed me a deck of bright pink cards. "Here's the deck; each card is a little something we've either taken as a trade or cooked up in the labs. By switching things out with these cards, we release energy from your soul; don't worry, it'll recharge, we can't actually damage it. And it looks like your theme is… Bimbo! Ooh, sexy."

"...Fuck," I said succinctly.

"Yes, yes, you'll probably be doing a lot of that. Now," he continued, "I'll tell you how to play the game, but the gist of it- not everything is bad, we've got some pretty nice rewards in here, and you'll need to decide how many risks you'll take to get the goods and avoid becoming a bubbly bimbo. First thing's first, you'll have to be a woman."

He raised a finger, and with a blast of pink energy, I jolted in my seat.

A warm, tingling sensation ran through my skin, starting from the tips of my toes. As it seeped in, I felt like I was getting a warm massage, going down through my muscles into my bones.

I watched as a wave of smoother skin and delicate features ran up my skin. The wave seemed to stall at my genitals, passing either side, only slowly causing them to shrink; by the time it was half the size, the rest of the wave was already at my chest, my middle having been pulled inwards as the wave started to run up my neck and down my arms.

My clothes seemed to tighten as well, new underwear forming underneath as my throat constricted into a smaller shape with a higher pitch. The curves of my chin and cheekbones pulled inwards, and as my hair began to tickle my shoulders, I squeaked at the sensitive, not-quite-erotic sensation of my now-miniscule dick nestling itself into a hood between two lower lips.

I looked myself over. I didn't seem that different- still mostly flat-chested, still lanky and fairly broad- but it was by a woman's standards, and I seemed to have shrunk, too. I was only broken from my stunned visual exploration by the sound of a rattling cup.

"Now, once you've started, there'll be a side room for you to explore yourself in private," he said. "There's a computer connection so you can test longer-term things, a few toys, that sort of thing. Plus, you can't ask what's what, but if you get a theme going you'll have better rewards! You'll be rolling two dice for the most part- with a few exceptions."

"First- you roll two dice to pick how many of nine cards you'll be taking. Do that now… oh, a
five
, good. Then you can spend two mana to pick less or more cards, or seven mana for another round entirely! Are you good with these cards?"

I read through them- there seemed to be enough that I could deal with that many, and I didn't have any mana to use anyway. "Sure."

He clapped. "Then let's roll the dice!"

First roll… I rolled two sixes, putting me on wings. "I'll sell a die on top of that," I said- angel, fallen angel, demon or dragon wings? Yeah, they were all about as convenient in daily life, I'd wager. I rolled.

My back cracked, and I let out a little gasp as the back of the wings started to rub against the inside of my shirt as they grew, far more sensitive to the touch than I'd expected. I rushed into the side-room to find a backless top I could switch out for, pulling my current one over the top of my head before the wings got too big for that to be practical.

The skin on the wings was a pale white, but black, quilly feathers began to push out from it. As they got bigger, I saw the quills unfurl in a large mirror set in the side of the room; they formed in the layers of a bird wing, shorter feathers on top and longer feathers underneath, with a small feathered thumb on the leading edge where the hand was. (An alula, to be specific.) When they were done, they were long, and narrow; none of the feathers looked to be over two metres long, leaving me with a wing shape that reminded me kind of a seagull.

I found a dark shirt that I could wear, after a few tries- the big problem was that I needed to get the shirt over my wings as well as my arms, so that they could pop out of the other side once my belly was covered. (Which was an interesting sensation given their mildly-erotic sensitivity.) The shirt in question was fairly stretchy, with a large backless section; the cut in front was unfortunately low, but I could deal with it.

"Ah, fallen angel wings!" said the man in red as I returned, looking at my result. "Everyone loves a big, black, sensitive set of wings. I'll send you a good massage place I know once I'm done, happy endings included!"

I rolled my eyes, and the dice, too… Horns, or a siren kiss. Yeah, I'd want to kiss people without mind-controlling them, so I went for the horns. "Ah, this only has three options by default," pointed out the man-in-red. "So that's just one roll!"

"Sure," I said, and rolled.

I promptly grew horns long enough to double the height of my head. Okay, that was boiling the whole experience down a bit- quite a lot of my skull had the not-quite-painful ache of growing entirely new tissues, to make sure the horns were well-anchored, I imagined- but the result was relatively simple-looking. They were attached to the sides of my head, rooted fairly widely, and curved upwards for a parallel double prong like a tuning fork.

It definitely filled out the 'intimidating fallen angel look', I had to say.

Third… Makeup, or big butts? Honestly, I had to say I wasn't a fan of makeup- I went for the butts. Which led to a conundrum in and of itself.

"Ooh, stuck between a cute slim butt and a glorious bimbo butt?" questioned the man in red.

"Shush, you," I replied, considering.

On one hand, the lower load of a slim butt would reduce weight, making it easier to fly long distances. On the other hand, a giant butt probably had much better musculature attachment opportunities, for an easier launch. So, would I be flying longer, or frequently?

Plus, there was the whole issue of wing sweep- if my centre of mass was further backwards, my wings would need to be held further backwards, too…

"One moment," I said, heading to use the computer.

From a quick look online, a backwards sweep at all but the slowest speeds seemed to be common, mostly because tucking the wing in to reduce drag at the cost of lift tended to result in swept wings anyway. But it was also because birds have masses asses for takeoff, to put it bluntly- so I'd go with the same principles. I grabbed some slightly-oversized stretchy joggers, changed into them, and headed back in.

"Aight, going for the launch platform," I replied, sitting down and picking the 'Giant' butt type over the 'Cute' one.

The man in red blinked, bemused. "If that's the euphemism you want to use, sure," he said, watching it grow to 'just big enough to balance a bottle on'.

There were two more cards from this set to go- four or five out of six were copeable, so I'd buy a third die next round, since it'd be best to use it when there were the least options. I rolled my two dice. "Submissive if my belly's not showing, or seductive kiss," I read. Well, one was a straight-up disadvantage and the other fit the theme, so I picked the latter.

"A die, please," I said, and the man in red dropped another die in the cup. It was a good thing, too, because I'd be getting either willpower changes or titty-flashing if I hadn't- instead, I rolled for makeup.

Unfortunately I rolled two dice on 'slutty', giving me overly large eyelashes, vibrant red lips, noticeable blush and eyeliner, that sort of thing. But at least it fit the theme.

Next round… A five. I read through the options. Four were okay, but five were pretty terrible; I'd be a lot better off with one less card, then. "I'll spend two mana for one less card, please," I said- I'd gotten an extra two from both the double-rolls I'd had, putting me at four total this game.

First… Transform other people to look like me, or be giggly as hell. Yeah, if I could give people sex changes to female or ass expansions- or even grow them wings or horns, if I wanted- I could potentially help a lot of people and probably get pretty rich on it. Yup, I was picking the spell!

Second- ack, overly-small clothes or needing to wear entirely-pink clothing for my full attention span… I might've picked the pink clothes just because the small clothing size would be a distraction too, but an intimidating fallen angel would look a lot sillier in pink than in undersized clothes. "I'll go for the Outgrown card," I sighed, and promptly felt my clothes constrict to be almost skin-tight. Wonderful.

…How the hell I was getting this shirt off, given the difficulty in putting it on in the first place, would be a question for later.

Now, for the last two rounds… "I'll get two bonus points, and get an extra die each for the last two rolls," I said.

He bowed theatrically. "Your wish is my command!"

While needing thigh-high stockings to not be horny in exchange for a Fated Roll point was tempting (I'm sorry I couldn't write that with a straight face), I decided to pick hair holour instead, and sell a die. Fortunately, I didn't get bubblegum-pink hair. While black or red might've fit more, I could still work with brunette hair- my hair lightened slightly, to a rich, chestnutty shade of brown.

And the last roll… I did some mental maths. One-two-five over one-eighty for the heels, six-four over one-eighty for either less-bad option… Okay, I could work with that. I rolled three dice.

And got a choice between giggliness and bouncing my boobs all the time. Sigh. I went with the giggles.

Last rolls… Five cards, starting with erogenous breasts because of a double-roll. Not ideal.

The second was ears versus panty-dropping; I spent an extra die to try and make sure I got good ears, though I didn't manage to get the elf-ears I'd aimed for, instead getting triangular cat ears in front of my horns (how that musculature setup worked, I didn't know).

Third… Ah. Random reductions in any mental skill at any time, or a flat intelligence reduction. The latter had the potential to be worse, but the former? Yeah, the 'brain pop' card was probably going to be much more infuriating, so I went for intelligence, and rolled three die on it.

Good thing I did, too; my first two rolls were both 'Brainless'. I wasn't even mad the third one was 'ditzy'. "I'll take it," I said.

Suddenly, it was like a gas bomb had been released in my brain. There was no pain, no ache, just… a dis… dis… My thoughts had gone all simple. Like someone had gone over my brain with a sponge.

"Oh, wow," I said, rubbing my head. "That's a suckerpunch and a half."

"Good for focusing on sucking, too," said the man in red- I glo… uh, looked at him all mad and whatnot. "Anyway, next roll!"

Right, right. I looked at- oh, for fuck's sake, I still wasn't picking the brain pop thing. Especially when I'd already gotten dumber! I picked the other card.

"Oh, personality change, really?" said the man in red.

"Fuck," I replied.

They were pretty equal, all things considered, so I rolled the two dice straight… and got the worst card, because of course I did. Sigh. I picked the card.

…Oh, wow, I felt like I'd been boring as fuck before I picked the card. Like, I knew I wanted to be a goody-goody and shit, but… ah, double-fuck, that was what I'd been too ditzy to think about with the personality cards, wasn't it? Complete personality changes sucked ass, mostly 'cuz you didn't want to change your personality once you had it.

Last roll… Double on panty-dropping. Which, honestly? Didn't seem too bad. Who cared if I wasn't wearing panties? At least I wouldn't sound like a moron.

I thought for a moment. Y'know, I looked kinda boring right now… "Hey, can I have another round?" I asked.

"Of course, m'lady!" the man in red said.

"Don't give me that shit," I told him, flipping him off.

Right, last rolls… I wasn't getting any more idiotic, so I wasn't gonna pick the card that made me even more of a moron if I wasn't sucking some guy or girl off. That meant lips. One option was big fucking bimbo lips, but the other was proper DSLs, which I was okay with.

Second… "Hey, another die, will ya?" I asked. I only had three cards this round, and some of them were pretty good. Two dice landed on tit sizes, one landed on sensitivity- I picked tits, and picked myself some sexy double-Ds from it.

And two last mana… "One more die," I said, because fuck it if I wasn't going to try get the one that'd make getting fucked feel better. It wasn't gonna be, though- just a tramp stamp that'd make me hornier if I hid it, which was pretty cool, and something that'd make me sound like a vapid bimbo. I went for the tattoo.

Last thing… Either getting myself off all the time a little, or sometimes getting myself off a lot. The second sounded less shitty and more fun, so I picked that. Second, fitness or a word limit- yeah, I wanted to be ripped! And I got it, too! Fuck, people were gonna be drooling over me in the gym.

Just to show I could (and because it was getting kinda tight), I flexed and tore open my too-small clothes with a grin. Fuck yeah.

Third, a dumb concentration face or wet dreams? The second was more fun. Fourth was word limit or feeling myself up; yeah, I was already going to get myself off randomly, so getting myself off made more sense.

Fifth was a double-roll- getting horny in the mirror, because damn I was fine as fuck anyway. And six meant I could wear less clothes without overheating? Hell yeah! I went for the sluttier option, which was no leg coverings, just ass and chest.

And… that was that.

"Huh," I said. "Wanna fuck?"