My Little Eldritch Horror's Vacation (RWBY/ Crack)

I'm not actually sure what my name is.

Sure, people might assume they know my name and gave me more than a few over the years.

The Unspeakable One, The King in Yellow, Him Who is Not to be Named, Assatur, Xastur, H'aaztre, Kaiwan, and Hastur are simply the most common ones.

People have considered me a person, a demon, a deity, and even a place.

Honestly even I'm not sure what I actually am. Perhaps I'm a concept brought into reality. A dream that became a dreamer wondering into other dreams. A monster of unspeakable horror and power who simply has been around for so long I have long forgotten my origins.

I know a few things.

First the place I live in is an empty void as one person called it once while screaming after stumbling here. If it is actually a place and not just the remains of a faded dream of mine or someone else, I'm not sure.

To me it is home though. A nice home that I lack the words to describe in the languages of any species I know of. I like my home it is a nice home.

Still I'm feeling a bit...cramped lately. Kind of bored of the same old same old.

Hmmm maybe a vacation could be fun. A road trip I think it is called.

I could visit some other places sending out a minor avatar of my power out explore the endless multiverses a bit for fun.

I could meet interesting people and eat interesting things.

Perhaps the reverse at times depending on my mood.

Oh boy this will be fun!

First need to make a body that will not shatter the psychic of being looking at me from lower dimensions. One able to store a sliver of myself while the rest of me sleeps and dreams a little dream.

Hmmm where to go through?

So many fun and interesting places to visit for a vacation, but where to start with?

I look up in space and reach out pulling on a string and unrevealed it a bit.

Let's see this is a world that had it's God's abandon it and leave behind some things that could be neat to see. Oh, look at that everything is a gun there! Looks like fun!

Not that good with guns though...oh look a corpse! It looks mostly intact, though I question why someone would leave a perfectly good corpse in the middle of a forest. It doesn't look like it's rotting, must have been recent. Broken neck, pretty fast.

Best of all it has a sword! A bit odd that it's not also a gun, but this saves me so much time I'm not even questioning it. Even better it has Yellow Hair! Yellow is so bright and cheerful and lovely like a burning star incinerating anything that comes nears it! I'll take it!

Besides it's not like anyone is using it and as the old saying goes, 'Never leave a corpse laying around when it can be used for so much more fun!'

I cut a sliver of myself free from the rest of me and let it slither into the body.

*CRACK!* *SNAP!*

The corpse twists with its head tilting back into place and blinking looking around with its eyes burning yellow looking at me as other me waves from within at the crack in reality that most beings on that level can't see.

Waving back with my many limbs I curl up in a ball and take a snort nap for my vacation.

A century or two should be a long enough vacation to enjoy things to come.

(Pyrrha POV)

Sprinting through the forest cursing that chill down my spine when we were flying through the forest trying to land.

It made me miss my throw to make sure Jaune could be my partner. The one person that doesn't know who I am and is actually nice to me here!

I know that's rude, but I'm feeling frustrated. More than a little freaked out by what felt like an unnatural chill down my spine, no down my very soul like something was very WRONG about the world.

I sprint through the forest hopping to find Jaune in time since he is not pinned in place for me to track down along with my weapon.

Calling back my spear with my semblance I enter a clearing to see Jaune looking stunned at a Beowulf.

Something is very wrong with this picture as Jaune is not going for his sword. Instead tilting his head, which I note has blood dripping down from under his hair and looks adorably confused saying. "Puppy?"

I quickly change my weapon into rifle form as it growls, "Grrrrr!" and launches at Jaune! It is too close to Jaune and I'm not getting a good shoot and it is already on Jaune who is clearly injured!

*CRACK!* *SNAP!*

The Grimm makes a high-pitched whining nose looking at Jaune confused and it's hand which is broken with its claws shattered from trying to attack Jaune to my shock as I stand there confused and unable to process this.

Jaune looks at the Beowulf still confused before saying, "Oh I get it! You want to play tag! Silly doggy thinking it's people." He chuckles and it sounds off to me.

OK Jaune clearly has a concussion. Must save future partner from hims-!

"Tag!" Jaune is in front of the Grimm in a blur of motion and taps its nose.

*SPLATTER!*

....Well I certainty didn't know that if you killed a Grimm that fast it leaves behind a bloody looking mist and organs that twitch before turning into dust. I didn't need to know this or see it!

Feeling a faint sickness and burning in the back of my throat I barely have time to get to a bush before. "BUUUURRRRR!!"

"Oh, another local!" Jaune says as I clean my mouth with the back of my hand disgusted and feeling more than a little sick as I've never seen gore like this before! "Is this your house. It is a lovely house! Wait was this your puppy...It's not very good at tag." Jaune mutters looking confused at the dust that was once organs and blood of a Grimm, two things I never knew could exist before today!

OK I need to get Jaune to Beacon and a hospital. It is the right thing to do.

"Pyrrha!" Weiss' voice calls out happy as I rush over to Jaune and grab him by the arm and look over with an apologetic smile.

"I'm sorry. I'm already Jaune's partner." I know I shouldn't do this...but honestly Weiss as a partner scare me with her eyes roaming over my body with eyes that feel like the creepier fanboys back home that would try to steal my trash.

"What's a Jaune?" Jaune asks confused as I feel this is only going to get worse from here.

---

Notes:
- Was watching the "Tales from the Crypt Keeper" on youtube and this happened to develop while watching the dream/nightmare story and the fish stories. Considered briefly multiverse travel, but doing a Jumpchain already so felt redundant, and this is more fun.
- The reason the Jaune Horror seems rather innocent and doesn't understand the world is because he doesn't. To him this is a vacation from his world that is so different from the human worlds that there are literally no words to describe where he is from. He doesn't have any idea what Hunters are, how things work in this reality, and even who Jaune is not getting his memories either. People will assume that Jaune has amnesia in this.
- Why Jaune? Honestly think he would have died without Pyrrha due to the fall. Just fell wrong since he was failing about like a mad man. Also, King in Yellow, blond character. It fits. Yes, Jaune is totally dead and not coming back with the MC taking over the corpse and the soul had left the body already. No memories or anything since he is possessing a corpse and didn't eat the soul.
- Why is he so OP!? Why not this is a cosmic horror and while using Jaune's body he fixed up to run around in he is NOT human in anyway or shape with the blood seen being from before he fixed the body since there was damage to the skull as well that he didn't mention while observing. As seen with how he leaves the Grimm a pile of gore his dreams and thoughts on how reality work reflect on just what Jaune can do and he fully expects to see a pile of gore if he splatters a puppy even if one accident as he adjusts his strength. He is more a conceptual being than anything physical and will follow, "I think it is so, and thus is so." logic due to existing in a higher reality where thought is substance and the forces that make reality work, something that follows him no matter the world.
- Characters will be OOCed at times, and there will be AU elements to this story as honestly RWBY is kind of going a lot of places all at once so altering things a bit for the purposes of writing this story for fun. Well, that and this is a crack fic so characters will be a bit different for that as well for humor. As seen here with Pyrrha having more TRAUMA from her crazier fans that I'm going to fold into the main story over time. Strong enough TRAUMA that she is willing to use a man with brain damage as a meat shield to protect her from what she sees as a fangirl.

 

(Ruby Rose POV)
I run throught the forest trying to not lose my partner and possible future bestie!

"I still say you should cut that bitch's heart out and bath me in her blood." Cresent Rose tells me sneering at the memory of how rude Weiss was.

"We don't do that to humans. Remember." I whisper at my baby remembering Uncle Qrow's words of not killing innocent people just because the 'voice in my head tells me to' even if that voice is my pride and joy. At least not in public with lawful citizens that I should protect for reasons!

"So faunus are fair game?"

"That's racist!" I hiss back disappointed in Cresent Rose.

"I was joking." She says sounding unconvincing before saying something else to distract me. "Also, you need to adjust 5 degrees to the east otherwise you will miss the Snow Bitch."

"Thank you! But we are not done with this conversation!"

Running into a clearing hearing. "What's a Jaune?" As I run in to see Jaune here! With Pyrrha holding his hand shoving Jaune in front of her a bit while Weiss looks on with a twitching eye.

"Jaune!" I shout out happy to see my first friend here!

"Excuse me!"

My first Beacon friend! I mentally correct as my baby huffs in annoyance.

"Oh, is Jaune a greeting? Then a good Jaune to you too Red Reaper and Companion." He waves with a smile looking between me and Cresent Rose.

"Oookkk...." I trail off very confused here about why he is acting like he doesn't remember his name.

"Because he clearly doesn't. Still at least SOMEONE finally greets me outside of you!"

"You lost your memory!" I blurt out pointing at Jaune who opened his mouth to say something cutting him off.

"I wouldn't say lost.... Person in Red I never meet before. I'm positive that if I misplaced something then I could find it. Now could anyone inform me of what memories look like and if they are tasty?" Jaune asks with a faint smile.

"Oh Brothers, he is serious isn't he." Weiss says stunned while Pyrrha looks on nervous.

"We are traveling with you for your own safety." I tell him firmly seeing an innocent in trouble and knowing from Uncle Qrow's lessons I need to protect innocent people! Not sure why, something about grateful maidens willing to give more.

"Wait don't I get a say in this?!"

"Oh, if you don't want to then me and Jaune can just leave to finish the exam. Alone." Pyrrha says with a bright smile already dragging a confused Jaune off who look at her confused before a smile lights up on his face.

"Oh! Jaune's a name! Or a pronoun, I always get those confused." Jaune says as Pyrrha pulls him away from the clearing.

"Hey wait! Don't leave me with this nut!" Weiss shouts running off.

"Rude!" I shout following not wanting to lose my partner, protect the innocent and figure out why Pyrrha is dragging around someone hurt that bad that I think I saw blood on them, and their neck looked off now that I think about it.

"Indeed. I say we cut off her legs and make her sit in front of us to reward us bowing before her goddess! I want to feel her tongue on my casing!"

"For the last time. I will not have someone else's tongue touch your casing!" I shout out at my Cresent Rose. MINE and nobody else's!

"Oh, you look HOT when you are jealous. ~" I ignore her trying to tease me trying to not trip on stray roots on the forest floor.

"Stop trying to distract me! We are still going to have that talk once we pass about what you said earlier." I tell her.

"Oh crap."

(Jaune in Yellow POV)

Hmm there seems to be a serious problem here I'm not getting.

This outfit is lacking in Yellow!

It feels wrong. Like I'm violating some expectations of this reality or something that my color theme is not matching one of the names I'm know by. The unconscious desires and whims of those living in this reality making me want to run out to the nearest place with lots of yellow and rub the color onto my flesh and clothing.

Speaking of clothing it is so weird.

It feels oddly comfy, yet stiff. Especially this thing on my chest. I think it's called 'armor'. I remember someone that entered my realm once shout that their armor will protect them from my 'foul evil'.

At least I think they meant to say that. It was very hard to understand since their eyes started melting and their teeth turned into blood after seeing me.

It was rather tasty, kind of crunchy with a faint spiciness to them that most 'holy' things people have hold burning on the way down a bit.

Humans are weird walking around in food, especially crunchy and spicy food which I admit to having a weakness for.

Also, the weird things on my legs. It is not the most comfortable thing, yet I question the odd open leg clothing that 'Pyrrha', 'Weiss' and 'Ruby' are wearing. At least the Companion of 'Ruby' is not wearing any clothing, though it leaves me a bit confused why she isn't and everyone else is.

Must be cultural.

Speaking of cultural. Names are weird here with the locals already giving me a name, 'Jaune.' It sounds funny to me almost like a reference from another plain of reality that leaked over.

"Jaune, are you alright?" 'Ruby' asks me worried looking me over with her eyes lingering at my head for some reason.

Wonder why. The only thing I can think of is if she wants to mate with me, by biting off my head like some mortal species do. She is rather young though and lacks the maturity for the species from what I can feel of her soul though.

For some reason I find her gaze enjoyable. It feels oddly spicy kind of like that armor from so long ago. Must be some kind of lingering holy power from the Gods that abandoned the world. I wonder what they taste like...

No wait this is one of those species that might not like eating the eyes of their fellows. Or worse could be one where eating each other's eyes is a sign of mating interest! I would hate to insult their culture by refusing if I ate her eyes and didn't offer my own in return. It would ruin my vacation!

"I am feeling stiff." I tell her still breaking in the body feeling it crack and creak in places as I get used to this body. It is just so small and weird! Two eyes, two arms, two legs and not a single tentacle or wing in sight of mass that is not constantly shifting. So weird, strange and just fun to experience!

"Oh..." She looks at me neck weirdly and I wonder if she wants to bite me because I offended her, or she wants to mate with me. I have been married too many times by accident to want to take the risk with the later! "Well, if you need any help just ask. That is what friends are for!" She chirps out.

"Friends?" I ask trying to remember the term. It is similar to a fellowship or less intimate than mates I believe from what I recall from some of my other vacations in the past.

"Well strangers are just friends you haven't meet yet." Ruby says with a strange smile as I take that in. Must be local customs.

Friends...the locals must be very friendly to befriend someone so quickly upon a meeting. I must remember this. Everyone is a friend, especially strangers! I should check just in case to avoid another eye eating marriage accident. While very tasty it was not worth it long term as it cut my vacation short to get away from that creepy pink thing with tasty eyes constantly trying to steal my eyes to complete the ritual. "Does this make all of use friends then?" I question.

"Hardly." Weiss sneers looking at me like I'm a bug.

"Ah. I see so Strangers are Friends until you meet them. That makes sense." This world feels rather simple.

"Jaune, that's not how it works." Pyrrha says from the other side of my body that she uses as a shield to protect her from Weiss. I feel the lingering trauma on her soul and am willing to act as her shield due to being 'partners'.

Wait is partners another word for mates.

Clorp! I really hope not! Marriage is a horrible thing where people try to trap you and stick things in places they don't belong! So gross!

I must play ignorant to any romantic advances that Pyrrha gives and sleep in armor. While she is distracted eating it, I can slip out and escape if she goes after me in my sleep!

Suddenly why this body is wearing a tasty snack makes sense. Must be a defense against the dangers of Marriage!

---

Notes:
- Is there more to Ruby hearing Cresent Rose than shown here? Yes. Will I explain? Eventually. Do I actually have a reason beyond crack? Yes, but I am not giving out all the answers at once though will imply somethings.
- Why can Jaune in Yellow feel Ruby's silver eyes effect? Well to my understanding they are lingering effects from the magic of the God of Light which could be defined as a holy power from a deity in turn which should have an effect on the soul. Jaune in Yellow can see/feel souls like it is a normal sense to him giving him peaks at little secrets that others are trying to hide. Even ones that they are not aware of.

 

(Weiss POV)
"We should seriously leave this dolt behind for the Professors to pick up. Bringing an injured person deeper into the forest feels like a very bad idea." I try to point out reasonably. Not even for personal motivation at this point as there was blood leaking form his head showing his aura was broken already!

Yes, I don't want to be partnered with the crazy girl who cuddles her weapon.

Yes, I'd like to be on Pyrrha's team believing she will act as a good partner and help me advance as a huntress and prove that I'm worthy of being here to my father so that he doesn't disown me for doing this like he has threatened to do so.

And finally, yes, I believe the Jaune I meet in the locker room is a dolt. One that apparently didn't know what a landing strategy is and hurt themselves.

That doesn't mean I'm not capable of basic human decency. No matter what lies the White Fang spread about me and my family.

That doesn't mean that I'm not capable of wanting people to, you know, NOT DIE when I'm becoming a huntress to try to HELP people.

"Look Jaune" I continue seeing how Pyrrha is dragging around someone to protect. Likely because she believes in her abilities, which is reasonable as she is the winner of a major tournament for YEARS in a row, but still, this feels very immoral. "Do you honestly believe that you can stand at our side. Don't think I haven't noticed the blood." I start my grand speech to help people realize a universal truth.

That I'm right and they are wrong. Usually at least 9 out of 10 times.

Posing with my eyes closed holding one hand on my elbow and the other pointed up in the air as I get into my lecture pose that I have practiced for years just for this moment. "You see Jaune. You are a liability. You lack the abilities to protect yourself, and frankly this is a dangerous situation. We cannot drag around an injured person to try to rescue them all the time. It is simply not safe or moral for us as future Huntresses to put the life of a person such as yourself in danger just to prove our abilities. Do you understand Jaune?" I ask knowing the answer. They will accept my reasoning; we can call a professor and move them somewhere safe so they will not die horribly. Only I got nothing except for the faint noise of wings flapping nearby. "Jaune? Did you hear a thing I just said Jau-." I stop as my jaw drops in shock when I open my eyes to see Ruby dragging Jaune over to a GIANT Nevermore while Pyrrha is looking unsure and nervous as the two of them LEAP onto the dangerous deadly Grimm whose eyes open and glare out me before shrieking enraged!

"WHY!?" I scream out using my glymphs to leap over the charing bird and land on it's back. Holding on for dear life screaming as it FLIES hundreds of feet into the air to try to shake us off!

"Hi Weiss! I see you heard Cresent Rose's plan too!" Ruby says looking at me with wide adorable stupid eyes next to me as we are flying to our deaths.

"I SWEAR WHEN WE GET DOWN FROM HERE, I WILL MURDER YOU!" I scream out enraged throwing away common decently and morals. This girl is too stupid to live!

(Jaune in Yellow POV)
This is a rather interesting and strange day.

I do not recall ever flying around on a giant bird before. Dragons on occasion sure. I mostly ride on top of the train of thought from one side of existence to another as leaks in reality allow shared ideas to form in the roots of alternative universe counterparts such as that rather odd Lovecraft fellow. Not a very nice man to be honest yet is an odd magnet drawing us into new worlds when we are just wondering around.

It's like those plays that give out free cookies in exchange for listening to them ranting for a few hours. Insisting that a god or other being has given them purpose when usually I don't feel anything from them beyond faint strings of madness, and the occasional taste of joy they leak from tricking others to joining their...what was it called again? I know more than a few people started one for me when I visit a new place for some reason. They are often rather annoying and stalk me for weeks once I slip.

Oh, right a cult!

Honestly when cultists start talking I kind of tune them out as they are very boring.

Must be how I got on this bird.

The Girl in White who feels like a cultist of the Nice Pyrrha was talking at me and I kind of blocked it all out.

Red Reaper and Cresent Rose dragged me to the big birdie to ride to find some 'relics'.

Must be weak relics as I do not sense any major powers in this forest outside of the eyes of Red Reaper and the unusual soul of Cresent Rose. Feels a little bit cursed in a way, not in the way that some curses can become living souls. It's honestly rather odd almost like an old curse has overrun a rather old soul and it's hanging around for so long it has forgotten what it actually was.

Part of me feels like I should say something, but it could be considered rude to look at other peoples' souls in this dimension, so I say nothing.

"Do you see the relic, Jaune?" Red Reaper asks to hang on to the bird shouting over the wind as it flies around, and I hand on to its talon trying to get a better look bellow.

"GET UP FROM THERE AND DON'T FALL YOUR DOLT!?" The Girl in White screams out in horror clinging to the back of the bird. Honestly humans are weird. If she didn't want to be here, why did she jump onto the bird as well when it flew away?

"You are doing great Jaune. Please don't fall!" Nice Pyrrha shouts waving at me from above with a sword.

I should wave back shouldn't I?

"DON'T LET GO!" Girl in White screams as I wave at them to show I'm alright forgetting humans only have two arms.

Oh, bugger me.

Hearing the screams above I look down below to see some pillars, a yellow and black speck or humans and what appears to be some chess pieces.

"I wonder if those are the relics they told me to look fo-."

*BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!*

---

Note:
- Yeah, in this Weiss in her own head is actually a good person at heart wanting to help people. Only problem is that she usually believes she is always right and is unable to actually communicate with people stating simply she is worried for them without including some reasoning or cause from habit. She doesn't want to drag around Jaune because he is clearly injured in this and is worried, he is going to get himself killed! Doesn't help that Pyrrha is avoiding her, Jaune believes she is a cultist of Pyrrha's so ignores her and Ruby just doesn't like her influenced by Cresent Rose.

 

(Yang POV)

Honestly today was pretty nice.

*bbbbbzzzzz.*

Got Ruby to go a full hour without rushing to sneak Cresent Rose somewhere that would get her in trouble, again.

*bbbbbzzzzz.*

Ignored the horrible things that came from the locker I put Cresent Rose in. Trying to keep my grip on my sanity.

*bbbbbzzzzz.*

It's just my imagination playing tricks on me like Dad says.

*bbbbbzzzzz.*

Did my good deed helping Ruby get her, who dressed like a dork in a onesie of all things, out of the small slump he was having after flirting, well failing to flirt, with an Ice Queen stereotypical rich girl.

*bbbbbzzzzz.*

Punched out a bear, well an Ursa Minor, but it counts.

*bbbbbzzzzz.*

Even meet a nice partner even if she is rather quiet and seems to be reading all the time with her nose stuck in an orange book that reminds me of something Qrow reads sometimes. Which is weird since Uncle Qrow is not much of a reader.

*bbbbbzzzzz.*

Now if only I could find out where that buzzing was coming from!? It sounds so close yet.... "OK are you serious?" I ask Blake picking up a knight chess piece, not even able to focus long enough to a joke with THAT going on. "You don't hear a thing!?" I question my possibly deaf partner.

*bbbbbzzzzz.*

"Nope." She says monotone though her checks are a bit flushed from what I can see not hidden by her orange book she reads, everywhere!

*bbbbbzzzzz.*

"How can you not hear it!? I'm starting to worry that a hornet is stalking us!" I shout out trying to catch my train of thought.

*BBBBBBZZZZZ!*

"Oh, come on! It's getting louder!" I shout out frustrated as Blake's bow twitches and she looks up.

*BBBBBBZZZZZ!"

"Do you hear that?" She asks me.

*BBBBBBBZZZZZZ!*

"Oh, now you hear it!"

*BBBBBBBZZZZZZ!*

"You might want to get to cover." Blake says walking away monotone even as her eyes do not leave the sky.

*BBBBBBBBBZZZZZZZZZ!*

Then I hear a whistle of wind.

*BBBBBBBBBBBBZZZZZZZZZZZZ!*

And the Buzzing getting louder!

*BBBBBBBBBBBBZZZZZZZZZZZZ!*

Holding my head in pain I look up and see a blur of yellow right before it hits the ground!

*BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!*
*BBBBBBBBBBBBZZZZZZZZZZZZ!*

Barely able to stand up as the shockwave almost sends me flying.

*BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!*

Taking a peak out finally finding the source of the buzzing. I see...I see....*BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!*

(Jaune in Yellow POV)

Brushing off the dirt on me. I stand up from the crater I made with the body I currently possess to interact with mortal creatures after repairing its limbs and letting the ribs snap out of the organs back into place. Letting the shattered pieces of my skull reform itself from where I landed. Human bodies are so soft and delicate requiring almost constant care to keep the individual pieces of blood for splattering everywhere. Good thing I only need to be in possession of it for a bit to fix it. It's like a puzzle glued together, only the glue keeps melting and I need to glue it back together again.

A bit annoying and I do not like the experience. Not that is it painful as I already removed the nerves of this form as that is just wasted space.

I turn and make eye contact with a girl with yellow hair (I like that detail, yellow if very nice especially in a curtain of yellow!) and eyes that glow oddly red for a moment. Reminding me of the color of the blood of the void before her eyes roll into the back of her head and she has a nosebleed falling over.

Ignoring the girl with cat ears who is slumped over on a tree branch nearby. I head over to the blond who looks on blankly with red void eyes that shift to some kind of purple color. I like to say.... lavender perhaps.

Odd. I thought void eyes were rare. It requires an unborn child to be repeatedly exposed to the void between existence and nonexistence allowing them to experience things normal mortals cannot without going mad, yet at the same time as a side effect can see through most disguises.

Some rather annoying people that keep worshipping me for some reason whenever we meet. Well, those that don't kill themselves.

Still, I thought this civilization lacked the technology required for this to happen. Also, everyone knew that exposure to such existences tend to cause mutations in unborn children and any mother with any sense of maternal instinct would avoid such a situation as it was coded into the subconscious of existence by the beings that made the prototype mortals before sharing with the others. Any mother with an ounce of instincts of one would avoid it on the pain of death. It would take a true moron without any ounce of ability to care for children to do such a thing. Especially in this world where portal creation is at very least extremely rare.

(Meanwhile in a certain bandit camp a raven-haired woman with red eyes kept sneezing wondering if she got a cold.)

Still need to do something to keep this one from ruining my vacation by forcing me to end things early after she starts a cult for me.

Let's see I could remove her eyes and that could delay things, but considering this is a mutation of the soul then it wouldn't be all the effective. It's like ripping off the legs of a child to prevent them from leaving the spot. Messy and overall ineffective.

Also, I'm just not feeling it today. Maybe a different day, but I just rebuilt this body twice already and do not feel like breaking something again for the next 10 minutes at least.

Hmmmm wait didn't one of my cousins give an insane man a book once to put all their connections to beings like himself into. Mostly to keep him from stalking him again while ranting about that Jeanne girl.

I could bind her ability to consciously see me for what I am with something. I just need something that is close to her heart, her soul. While I could go with her physical heart, I'm 63% sure that humans need those in this dimension.

She is wearing a tasty snack on her wrists I consider it. Then shake it off. Connecting my being to food sounds like a horrible idea!

Looking around I note the orange book on the ground.

Opening it up seeing a lot of bizarre worlds and dialogue that makes no sense. Why would you need to use a paragraph to describe a sword under a man's pants? Clearly this is a magic book!

Still am I sure this is a good idea. Connecting her connection to an object could lead to side effects depending on just what kind of material it is. The person my cousin's book he connected to went insane due to the use of magic in the text based on concepts beyond humanity's understanding.

"Uuugggg..." The yellow haired girl starts to ground.

TOO LATE! NEED TO DO THIS NOW TO NOT GET A CULT AGAIN!

Smearing my true blood on it I throw it at her shouting, "I think this book is yours!"

*SLAM! *

A blinding light appears and I'm just happy no one is around to see this mess.

(Meanwhile a white-haired man with glasses looks on through the nearby cameras ignoring Goodwitch's shouts for them to go down to figure out what is going on. He simply looks on taking a long sip of his drink.)

---

Note:
- Yeah, was tempted to go with the more actively perverted Blake, rather than the slightly less subtle yet not blunt stealth pervert. Then remembered Raven's semblance of making portals and honestly can't see her NOT using it while she was pregnant. So, this plot happened with Yang sensing the Jaune in Yellow since he arrived due to her own mess of a soul. That is now bound to Blake's copy of Ninja's of Love with a cover change. Yes, this will have side effects. And yes, Yang is unconsciously aware that Cresent Rose is actually alive. She just refuses to accept it. Going to have more fun with Yang here being the only one really getting how insane everyone actually is while dealing with herself and her connection to a smut novel viva eldritch entity.
- The Being in Yellow is using Jaune's body and is not actually connected to the physics of this world making his own rules based on his understanding of things. He doesn't understand the concept of death when applied to self and just fixes Jaune's body whenever it is broken and makes it better each time. Think Deadpool with a bit of Doomsday in that the more fucked up he gets the stronger he will be so that next time he falls from a similar height his body will not splatter. At least until his vacation ends and he just dumps the meat suit.

 

"JJJJJJJJAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNEEEEE!!!" Pyrrha screams out bloody murder as Jaune, that lovable moronic amnesiac, just LET GO OF THE BIRD THOUSANDS OF FEET IN THE AIR!

"Whelp. He's dead." Weiss says blankly as her brain shuts down for a moment at witnessing a suicide. Shoving the cold logical part in front of her emotional response to prevent a panic. Her go to instinct when dealing with situations involving death, and terror. Steaming from an incident when she was 3 years old when the Birthday Clown, secretly a pedophile, attempted to drag her off to have some 'private happy fun time' together. This never happened as before it could her faithful butler Klein beat the man to death in front of her to protect her. Of course, as a child the event was so traumatizing it entered her unconscious mind after passing out from shock and was never talked about or mentioned again. Mostly due to the lack of Therapists as Jacques refused to waste money on 'no nothing head shrinks that think HE is the problem'.

Which honestly explains a multitude of problems with the Schnee household and all who dwell within that the go to response to trauma is to cut off all emotions and try to maintain strict control over themselves and their situation at all times. Oh, and the fact Jacques is a total dick as well, but that is a neigh multiversal fact across most plains of reality and not really worth going into too much detail for.

Ruby meanwhile was listening to something her scythe, as well as lover and best and oldest friend, is telling her.

"What do you mean we should even the loss by pushing Weiss off the bird!?"

"WHAT!?" Weiss blurts out as this crosses some line for her repression ability!

"What?" Ruby asks confused looking at Weiss who looks unsettled. "Sorry talking with Cresent. As I was saying we don't know he's dead yet. Let's not jump to conclusions and start killing people. Besides Uncle Qrow said we should protect people!" She pauses listening to the voice of her scythe that only really, she could hear. "No, we shouldn't just push Weiss off and say she dived after Jaune! What is with you wanting to kill people today!?"

"Pyrrha. Please loan me your shield." Weiss says trying to maintain control.

"JJJJJJJJJAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEE!!!" Pyrrha meanwhile is still screaming Jaune's name trying to think of a plan to save the partner she might have dragged to his death!

"Oh Brothers." Weiss says blankly. "I'm the only sane one here. We are all going to die." She sighs out knowing she needs to think of a plan to get them off the bird, while avoiding Ruby's possible death threats becoming reality, and get Pyrrha to become less of a useless mess. Honestly this is starting to remind her of home, and she doesn't like that mental image. All that is missing is her father constantly berating her for having emotions, enough alcohol to kill a baby goliath, and Klein. She decides to use the only life skills her father taught her in this situation. Lying like crazy and make false promises to workers in order to get them to do what he wants. "We didn't see a body." She points out feeling a bit sick doing this, but between getting pushed off the giant ass bird and actually surviving to make up for this poor life choice, she chooses to be able to make up for this choice later. "If we can direct the bird to get us down to the ground to look for him. We just might be able to find him. Now for how we get off this bird we could in theory alter the wings a bit so it descends in a rather graceful manner. We just need to get it to stop beating its wings as much in a controlled manner." Weiss explains not sure how to pull this off herself, but hoping with the help of Pyrrha and directing Ruby to NOT kill her will make it work somehow.

"What do you mean sky diving would be more effective? You mean you didn't want to kill Weiss and I was overreacting again!? That's it! We are not having special happy fun times alone tonight!" Ruby shouts at Cresent Rose not listening to Weiss at all to her annoyance. All the while her brow twitches at that oddly familiar phrase causing something to poke out from her mental vault of trauma from childhood onwards.

Of course, Pyrrha only listens to part of that explanation due to a mix of blind panic and desperate hope. Unfortunately, she also listens to Ruby's idea. So, she does what any red headed champion would do with superpowers.

She jumps off the fucking bird. "I'M COMMING JAUNE!"

"PYRRHA!" Weiss screams out. "YOU DIDN'T LISTEN TO THE PLAN!" She cries out wondering if she is cursed with people NOT LISTENING TO HER PLANS!

"Do we have a plan?" Ruby asks tilting her head.

Weiss opens her mouth to snap at Ruby only to shut down her frustration into the emotional trap she keeps most of her negative emotions. "We had part of a plan. We can make the rest."

"But I like Pyrrha's plan and so does Cresent Rose. I'm sorry." Ruby says crawling closer to Wiess who looks baffled at her getting a vote from the fucking scythe of all things!

"For what!?"

"Democracy's system putting the majority's desire over that of the minority wins again. See you later partner!" Ruby says rolling off the Nevermore into the open sky bellow.

Weiss is stuck processing it for a moment as with a nose that sounds like the shattering of glass coming from her sense of reality taking such a major hit. She growls out and shouts, "YOU ARE ALL MORONS!"

Of course, the release of negative emotions doesn't get ignored by the Nevermore who twists around flying upside down to Weiss's horror holding onto the feathers. "NO! NO! NO! NO! NO-." Only for the feathers to be ripped out of the bird Grimm and go into free fall. In that moment Weiss does something she has never done before. "FUCK ME!" She swears screaming falling to almost certain death.

That is when a flash of blinding light from down below happens knocking her out while shoving her up into the Grimm that screams falling to its own death with a white-haired girl just exposed to forces foreign to this reality nestled inside a creation from one of the Gods that recreated her species out of what amounts to the leftovers of what they had on hand including some tiny pieces of Grimm that even now survived.

Needless to say, there will be consequences to this.

---

Note:
- Weiss is kind of a ball of repressed Trauma and writing her as such, well for the most part. Adding in a fandom element that some people might know for fun here.

 

A log of character descriptions and notes to help keep track of and explain what is going on in this story.

Spoiler: Jaune Arc

Dead, deceased, gone forever, soul has moved on. Only his body remains, and another entity has taken it over.

Spoiler: The Jaune in Yellow

A being on vacation possessing the corpse of Jaune before it could start to rot, and people would question it.
Is known by the names The Unspeakable One, The King in Yellow, Him Who is Not to be Named, Assatur, Xastur, H'aaztre, Kaiwan, and Hastur are simply the most common ones.
An all powerful entity that exists on a system of physics that humanity simply cannot comprehend. Neigh invulnerable and capable of piecing back together his host body stronger based on the damage taken allowing it to adapt to a fraction of his real power quicker the worse injured and remade it is.
Does not possess Aura but can fake it well enough.
While incredibly powerful, has had limited interaction with more mortal kind and finds them odd, confusing and incredibly weird not understanding their traditions or habits. Is actually incredibly dangerous, but simply doesn't care enough and wants his fucking vacation while his main body takes a nap. To him this is like a dream, and he doesn't want to be forced to wake up.

Spoiler: Jaune in Yellow

Spoiler: Ruby Rose

The young prodigy is often confused by the nature of humanity. Often talks with her scythe she made that bonded to a soul that wondered out from the void between reality during one of Raven's visits while hidden. Drawn to the lonely Ruby the two became closest of friends and even lovers. No one else can understand what the Scythe is saying outside of Ruby, Jaune (Horror), Yang (Child of the Void), and Ozma. Though the latter two try to unconsciously block this knowledge out.
Want to be a hero following in the footsteps of her Uncle Qrow taking a lot of his advice to heart. Even the really bad advice.
Her silver eyes are working almost constantly preventing the entity within her scythe from corrupting her mostly innocent if a bit blood thirsty soul.

Spoiler: Pictures

Spoiler: Weiss Schnee

An emotionally repressed girl with a bucket load of trauma she represses. Her go to instinct is to shut all her feelings away when something doesn't make sense in the world, or there is danger and trauma around. While unable to express it most of the time she is actually very kind and caring as a person. She mostly hides this behind a polite persona.
Due to a mix of Eldritch Magic and Grimm Essene all those repressed feelings will start to form a new entity within herself known as Bleiss who will not hold back anything at all.

Spoiler: Weiss Pictures

Spoiler: Bleiss Pictures

Spoiler: Yang Xiao-Long

A Child of the Void. A being that exists as a unique existence. Mortal yet possessing enough Otherness to her to feel similar beings to herself and find herself unconsciously drawn to them. This was caused by her mother, Raven, going through constant portals while pregnant with Yang lacking any parental instincts to not do so leading to mutations in her soul manifested by her eyes ability to shift between regular and Void Red.
Her true sight ability was bond to a pornographic book with an orange cover owned by Blake Belladonna. This will have many side effects on her sanity.
While she can sense something wrong with Cresent Rose, she tries to be a good big sister in spite of it supporting her little sister.

Spoiler: Yang Pictures

Spoiler: Pyrrha Nikos

Traumatized by fame. Latches onto the first person to note know her and treat her like a normal person.
Dragged along a 'amnesiac' Jaune to avoid a possible partnership with Weiss believing her to simply want her for her fame like so many others. Triggering her trauma button caused by multiple stalker incidents.
Slightly traumatized by watching him fall to his death during the incitive and will be keeping a MUCH closer eye on him as a result.

Spoiler: Pyrrha Pictures