Naruto : Reborn as Obito [SI, Litrpg]

[Spearow]

A one time beatdown to lay down the law and stop the bullying "the dead last" nonsense that was going on, Asuma will either double down or they will start over clean without any bullying or privilege nonsense, if the author is a drama queen, it will escalate into something serious, we will see in the next chap.

 

[Fanfictionlord]

A one time beatdown to lay down the law and stop the bullying "the dead last" nonsense that was going on, Asuma will either double down or they will start over clean without any bullying or privilege nonsense, if the author is a drama queen, it will escalate into something serious, we will see in the next chap.

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Author isn't a drama queen, he's a drama king!

 

[Fanfictionlord]

Frankly, just separate the system from the fic, there are so many system fics around that its gotten stale and irritating.

Let the status page be used only to convey how much Obito has improved to the readers

Or just letting Obito have only system status page works as well as long as it doesnt give him any bullshit powers even if it is slightly immersion breaking

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The system is just there to show his growth. It won't play any important role in the story.

 

[Ahtu]

The scrolls came first. He unrolled them one by one.

Great Fireball Jutsu – C-rank

Phoenix Sage Fire Technique– C-rank

Healing Palm Technique – C-rank medical ninjutsu for minor wounds, bruises, and muscle tears

Hemostasis Technique – D-rank medical ninjutsu to stop bleeding.

Obito's gaze lingered on the scrolls, narrowing. He let out a quiet sigh before setting the fire release jutsu aside. He didn't plan to learn them until his chakra control and hand seals reached a passable level.

The reason was simple. Fire release jutsu were too destructive, and he didn't have anyone to watch over him while he practiced.

He turned attention back to the medical ninjutsu scrolls. His fingers traced the delicate strokes of his mother's handwriting as he fell into thought.

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So he is worried about not being able to control the simplest standard fire technique in Konoha, designed by and for his clan. But he is considering learning Iryo-ninjutsu, possibly THE hardest and most chakra control intensive basic discipline in the entire ninja arsenal?

Excuse the exclamation, but... Is he retarded?!

"Next — Obito Uchiha and Asuma Sarutobi!"

Obito froze. 'Asuma!? The Hokage's son!?'

Great, He had really jinxed it!

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Did he not read the original story? He should know that this REALLY doesn't matter, at all.

If anything he should cherish the chance to fight a guy that's the epitome of a future decent Jounin ninja. Yes some would argue he's an elite jounin, I'd argue he's barely that. And that calling him that is just having low standards for Jounin. Nope, he's good with wind elemental jutsu, and overall a competent fighter - But he has nothing to let him swing with the heavy weights like Gai, Kakashi, or really even Kabuto.

So nobody better to measure his progress against really.

'He's almost as fast as Gai—!' Obito barely had time to react.

He raised his arms into a guard, but Asuma's punch slammed into his forearm with enough force to knock him off balance. A dull numbness spread up his arm.

Before he could regain his footing, a low kick drove into his ribs. Obito tried to twist away, but the kick still caught him in the ribs. He stumbled back, his feet slipping in the dirt.

Asuma was on him again. A solid punch struck Obito square in the chest, knocking him off his feet and sending him sliding across the dirt. His back hit the ground near the boundary line.

A few laughs could be heard from the crowd.

Obito began coughing nonstop, rolling onto his side as he gasped for breath. His chest felt like it was burning.

"Get up, Obito," Asuma said mockingly. "Don't tell me that's all you've got?"

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... Asuma was neither that strong (keeping pace with Gai? Really?), nor this much of a shit-head...

He had expected to lose as soon as the matchup was announced. After all, he had only begun practicing taijutsu that morning. What he hadn't expected was this humiliation.

In the original story, Asuma was portrayed as level-headed and reliable character; seeing him like this really opened Obito's eyes.

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Exactly. What's the point of rewriting him like a typical early stage Xianxia villain? It's just lazy writing... Bad idea.

The instructor didn't tell him to perform the Seal of Reconciliation; maybe he simply forgot—or maybe that was just one of the perks of being the Hokage's son.

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More "young master" BS... I'd like to reiterate, this is NOT good writing. It's the laziest sort of shit that 3rd rate Chinese writers mass produce endlessly to meet word quota's...

He had always been a vindictive person.
This humiliation… he would repay it tenfold in the future.

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OMFG... Did you HAVE to hammer it home that this IS one of those fics...?

Why man? I saw you doing way better writing before. Why this cheap generic shit?

Obito crossed his arms and smiled provocatively. "Asuma Sarutobi, what do you mean by 'my opponent will be you'? Are you saying you arranged the match yourself? Using your father's name around, maybe?"

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Been thinking this for a while but... Translation? That last bit looks like a translation miss: "Using your father's name around, maybe?"

That would explain the huge difference in writing style from your other GOT/ASOIAF fic.

 

[Fanfictionlord]

So he is worried about not being able to control the simplest standard fire technique in Konoha, designed by and for his clan. But he is considering learning Iryo-ninjutsu, possibly THE hardest and most chakra control intensive basic discipline in the entire ninja arsenal?

Excuse the exclamation, but... Is he retarded?!


Did he not read the original story? He should know that this REALLY doesn't matter, at all.

If anything he should cherish the chance to fight a guy that's the epitome of a future decent Jounin ninja. Yes some would argue he's an elite jounin, I'd argue he's barely that. And that calling him that is just having low standards for Jounin. Nope, he's good with wind elemental jutsu, and overall a competent fighter - But he has nothing to let him swing with the heavy weights like Gai, Kakashi, or really even Kabuto.

So nobody better to measure his progress against really.


... Asuma was neither that strong (keeping pace with Gai? Really?), nor this much of a shit-head...


Exactly. What's the point of rewriting him like a typical early stage Xianxia villain? It's just lazy writing... Bad idea.


More "young master" BS... I'd like to reiterate, this is NOT good writing. It's the laziest sort of shit that 3rd rate Chinese writers mass produce endlessly to meet word quota's...



OMFG... Did you HAVE to hammer it home that this IS one of those fics...?

Why man? I saw you doing way better writing before. Why this cheap generic shit?


Been thinking this for a while but... Translation? That last bit looks like a translation miss: "Using your father's name around, maybe?"

That would explain the huge difference in writing style from your other GOT/ASOIAF fic.

Click to shrink...

This was actually written quite a while ago, back when I had just started watching Naruto, alongside a Harry Potter fic. I wasn't very deliberate with it at the time and mostly wrote on impulse(I admit I was consuming a bit too much xianxia back then). Stumbled upon it in my drafts and thought I'd post it. There are only a few drafts remaining so please bear with them. Once they're done, I'll decide based on everyone's opinion whether to pick it up again or leave it as is.

And this can't be compared to my other fic. When I started writing MIP, my style had already matured. And even then, I re-edit each chapter dozens of times before posting.

 

[Ahtu]

This was actually written quite a while ago, back when I had just started watching Naruto, alongside a Harry Potter fic. I wasn't very deliberate with it at the time and mostly wrote on impulse(I admit I was consuming a bit too much xianxia back then). Stumbled upon it in my drafts and thought I'd post it. There are only a few drafts remaining so please bear with them. Once they're done, I'll decide based on everyone's opinion whether to pick it up again or leave it as is.

And this can't be compared to my other fic. When I started writing MIP, my style had already matured. And even then, I re-edit each chapter dozens of times before posting.

Click to shrink...

Have you considered doing a rewrite with what you know of writing now?

Because there's nothing wrong with the general premise, or story progression here beyond the sort of stuff I noted. Could make for a good story now.