No one knows how to deal with death, we only know how to keep going

[yosef1]

*Takes a deep breath*

Wow, how much of a liar I am.

I really want to start my list of stories I've decided to write, but the ideas for new stories just keep coming.

When I think about starting, I already have another inspiration for a story.

And the worst part? Almost all of them involve non-human beings, and I have a lot of fun writing about non-human beings.

I'm a little disappointed in myself. And the ideas just keep coming. PLEASE, SOMEONE HELP ME–

Anyway, here's one of my most recent ideas, which has an element I'm not a big fan of.

I don't like drama because most of what I see is forced drama, the kind that almost makes you feel repulsed.

So, this will be different, it's not a "Cry all the time" type of drama, but rather "Make the easy difficult because your emotions are a mess".

But after this story, there will only be the stories I have planned for Valentine's Day and Women's Day. Then I will, I hope, finally start my list.

Now, enjoy.

The camera focused on an environment made of yellowish rocks, with grass and moss growing in separate, random patches, as well as trees in locations away from the uneven terrain. All of this was covered by a blue sky with some small clouds.

The uneven terrain of the rocky environment descended quite a bit, with no plants growing near them.

Down below, the uneven terrain seemed to form tortuous and winding paths that climbed up to the plants above and also descended further on, meeting several times and even reaching dead ends, as if it were a labyrinth that imitated a giant anthill, full of tunnels and at the same time resembling a valley like the Grand Canyon.

On the ground of these paths, there was very low moss growing, mainly on the sides of the paths.

Suddenly, a tree trunk, which looked old and rotten, fell to the ground, crushing and breaking with a loud noise.

The camera rose until it reached a higher ground than the rocky environment, covered with very low plants and trees further in the background.

In one of the trees, which also had an unhealthy trunk, two pincers of a Pinsir surrounded the trunk and bit it, crushing that part completely.

The Pinsir withdrew its pincers and moved away, straightening its posture.

The log fell in the direction Pinsir withdrew its pincers, but it fit perfectly into Heracross's large horn.

Heracross lifted the log with ease and walked towards the slope leading down to the rocky ground.

It threw the log out, groaning its characteristic sound.

Pinsir walked to another tree, also unhealthy, with Heracross following. The sound of the log hitting the ground could be heard.

They both positioned themselves, Pinsir leaning forward and opening its pincers.

Then a not very intense tremor made them both look in some direction, searching for the source.

When the tremor almost disappeared, it intensified again.

This made the Pokémon walk to the edge of the slope and look down.

A large cloud of yellow rock dust rose from one of the paths, along with a loud sound of breaking stones.

Everything then became quiet as the yellow cloud dissipated.

From the cloud emerged a Rhydon that was almost entirely out of the hole it had dug out of the ground.

And this Rhydon had an angry expression.

A few moments later, the Rhydon activated its nose drill and charged angrily against one of the stone walls, raising another cloud of yellow dust and disappearing into the new path.

The wall on the other side of the path quickly cracked and shattered into a cloud of dust, with Rhydon emerging from it.

But she didn't stop, continuing to advance to the next wall.

Rhydon passed through the next wall, and then another. And it continued like that.

She has to keep going.

She will keep going.

Her drill horn pierced a thicker wall, sinking relentlessly into it.

Her expression tightened with anger.

These walls...

She feels so much anger towards them...

Rhydon surged through yet another wall.

She will crush them.

But after a few walls, when her horn struck the next one, it made a crushing sound.

This caused the drill to slow down rapidly, and Rhydon froze instantly with a surprised expression.

Ouch…

That hurt...

Rhydon looked at the wall.

She made her horn spin and charged forward again.

And again she felt that pain that made her stop immediately.

She placed her hand on the horn, while glaring angrily at the wall.

She removed her hand from the horn and punched the wall, causing enormous cracks that almost opened a new path.

So now she can't use the horn on these stupid walls anymore?! Now she has to hit them?!

Stupid walls... Stupid horn...

It irritates her so much...

Then her expression softened a little.

Wait...that irritates her.

She sped up the horn again and slammed it against the wall.

The horn only chipped off a small piece of stone as she immediately recoiled in pain, but it kept spinning.

This pain irritates her.

She grimaced angrily.

She pushed the horn once more, now piercing with some discomfort.

This stupid wall irritates her...

This pain irritates her...

Piercing this stupid wall now with this stupid pain irritates her even more...

She crashed through the wall.

She stopped and roared furiously at the sky with her arms wide open.

And that's great!

She stopped roaring, then spotted a Heracross and a Pinsir looking down at her from above.

They both turned and left, but before they did, the Pinsir scraped the ground, throwing a small stone down below.

The stone hit her head with some force, shattering.

The Rhydon growled.

Those insects irritate her too...

She jumped into the air and then stomped her feet on the ground, creating white shockwaves that swept across the region, causing an earthquake.

This made Heracross and Pinsir lose their balance, trying to stay still.

Then Pinsir fell, rolling down the slope and then crashing onto the ground at the top of the valley and falling again onto one of the paths.

He hit uneven surfaces and scraped against the valley walls, spinning and swaying from side to side.

Because of this, he fell to the ground with little force, but still making an audible noise.

He quickly recovered and stood up.

He gasped as a being with a vertical mouth would, staring intently at Rhydon, who was glaring furiously at him.

Rhydon growled as he began to advance toward him.

Pinsir pointed its pincers at Rhydon, the spines glowing white and firing like missiles.

Rhydon put his arm up and received the missiles, exploding on his skin and turning to nothing.

Rhydon moved the arm he had used upwards and delivered a blow to Pinsir's head.

Pinsir was smashed against the ground, which cracked on impact.

Pinsir lay on the ground, motionless.

Rhydon opened his hand over Pinsir's back, pressing his palm against him.

A drilling sound came, and then Rhydon's horn struck Pinsir's back, producing orange sparks as Pinsir groaned in pain.

That pain in the horn...

That insect...

She feels so much anger in this whole situation...

That's good.

Continue...

Continue-

The horn pulled away from Pinsir's carapace.

Rhydon stood with a surprised expression as its body rose from the ground.

Heracross's horn lifted Rhydon from under his belly.

Then Heracross hurled her forward.

Rhydon flew into the air and then fell to the ground, rolling a little.

But she soon stopped and easily stood up, looking around for them.

Heracross held Pinsir by the pincers with his hands as he flew away.

Rhydon's face contorted in frustration.

She slammed her tail against the ground, breaking it, and then lunged against a wall.

This anger at those insects...

Anger at those walls and this pain...

It feels so good.

##

The camera focused on an open field, with lots of grass, some scattered and distant trees, an isolated lake, and mountains in the background.

Then the focus shifted to the base of what looked like a small hill, covered in low plants.

Suddenly, an explosion with a cloud of yellow dust came from the hill, the smoke rising as if it had passed through a tunnel.

As the smoke rose, Rhydon could be seen with its head down, breathing rapidly.

After a few moments like that, the smoke cleared and Rhydon recovered.

She raised her head, looking at the spacious green plain.

Any other rocky terrain was far away.

She looked back.

That wasn't the valley she had frantically dug.

She must never have come this far before, probably because she spent a good amount of time digging almost in circles.

She spotted something out of the corner of her eye.

A little further away, there was a female Pyroar lying on the ground, looking at her.

But she looked strange, her fur was dull, her expression tired, and her long hair thinned.

Rhydon's expression grew irritated.

She stared at her.

She looked closely into Pyroar's eyes.

They were lively eyes, but with a certain... weight, a certain sadness.

Rhydon's expression became a little confused.

But...

It was different...

This anger is different...

It's not making her feel good...

It's the opposite...

Pyroar stopped staring, turning her head to look at the vast plain, without changing her expression.

Being ignored irritates her...

But it also irritates her in a bad way...

Rhydon snorted sharply through his nose, then walked towards Pyroar.

Pyroar didn't move as a large shadow began to appear over her.

Only when the shadow stopped moving did Pyroar turn her head.

Rhydon was right above her, staring at her with a menacing expression.

Rhydon made a sound that seemed to say he was challenging her.

Pyroar didn't react, only turned her face back to the plain. All this without changing her expression.

Rhydon pounded his chest, making a metallic sound.

Being undervalued also irritates her…

Rhydon stared at the side of Pyroar's heavy eyes.

And this anger continues to make her feel bad...

Rhydon's body began to tremble with rage, causing her to stiffen.

Then she let out a growl as she ran towards the hill from whence she came.

She activated her drill horn and pierced the wall, entering the hill in a tunnel.

This made the pain beneath the horn return.

That's it.

Drilling these stupid rocks with this stupid pain...

That's what she needs...

And that's what she wants...

##

The sun was halfway above the horizon, with the sky red around it and orange in the rest.

Besides the entire plain being in a yellowish hue and the lake being almost completely bright like a mirror.

Suddenly, an explosion accompanied by a cloud of orange dust, due to the sunlight, came from the top of the hill.

From the smoke soon appeared a Donphan flying away, followed by Rhydon who seemed to have thrown it.

Rhydon quickly gained a foothold on the ground while Donphan continued toward the ground.

When Donphan finally stopped on the ground, Rhydon spat out a blast of fire that seemed to collide with itself until it formed a star of orange and yellow fire.

Donphan noticed the attack with terror, getting up and running away clumsily.

But the attack hit him, exploding into embers as Dolphan flew away, breaking some trees in its path.

Rhydon roared victoriously in the direction Dolphan had gone.

Rhydon breathed a little agitatedly, but soon recovered.

Then she looked to the side.

The female Pyroar was still there, lying and looking at the horizon.

Rhydon frowned (if she had eyebrows).

That anger...

That anger that makes her feel bad is still there...

Why?

Rhydon looked to the other side.

There was a rock about the size of her head.

Rhydon picked up the rock with both hands and raised it above her head, behind her, towards the Pyroar.

Then she threw the rock with ease.

The rock passed just above the Pyroar's head and hit the ground with a loud thud, right in front of the Pyroar.

But Pyroar didn't react at all; only its fur twitched from the air pressure of the impact.

This made Rhydon growl.

Why isn't she doing anything?

Why does this indifference irritate her?

Why is she still getting angry in a bad way?

In a way that makes her want to stop feeling it immediately?

And...

Why does she seem to understand this?

It's what Pyroar seems to be feeling.

It's so familiar...

But how? How can she find a feeling she's never had familiar?

She visualized Pyroar's face, with those bright, heavy, tired eyes...

Devalued...

All that... sadness...

She just wants anger.

So why does this sadness affect her?

Why does she feel bad for a Pyroar?

A thin and seemingly weak Pyroar... She doesn't care at all about this Pyroar and her feelings...

This sadness that makes her feel a bad kind of anger...

...

But she doesn't even know why this specific anger is bad...

Is it anger because she feels bad?...

Or does she feel bad because she's angry at Pyroar?...

Or does she get angry because she's angry because she feels bad...?

AAAHHHHH.

Rhydon put his hands to his head and roared in agony.

She can't take it anymore.

She doesn't want these confusing thoughts.

Why is she so lost around that Pyroar?!

Why?

…

Wait, why does she care? She doesn't have to stay here.

Rhydon crouched down and activated the drill, making a hole disappear that began to dig in the ground.

Why does she care if this anger is bad?

She can just leave.

Go back to wading through these stupid rocks with this stupid horn pain…

She can just walk away and ignore Pyroar.

Simple.

##

She can't.

Rhydon walked furiously towards Pyroar, illuminated by a normal day again.

She can't anymore.

She doesn't even need to be near Pyroar anymore to feel this horrible anger.

She constantly has the image of Pyroar in her head.

Those heavy eyes.

And all that anger that makes her feel bad.

She simply visualizes all of it.

Enough is enough.

Rhydon stopped right in front of Pyroar, covering her with his shadow.

Pyroar raised his head to her eyes.

Rhydon had a furious expression.

She'll get that wonderful anger again.

Rhydon made a challenging sound, more aggressive this time.

Pyroar made a similar noise, but much calmer.

Again...

That anger again...

Rhydon repeated the sound, even more aggressive.

Pyroar made the same sound as before.

Rhydon's body trembled with irritation.

This is only getting worse...

What's so different about this Pyroar?

A slightly weakened Pyroar…

Pyroar made the same sound once more.

Rhydon calmed down.

What?

She's not going to do anything? She doesn't care?

She's just going to stand there...

Pyroar turned her face back to the plain, making another sound like before, but lower and weaker.

Rhydon had a slightly depressed expression.

She just wants to stand there, feeling all this sadness...

But that's-

Rhydon's eyes widened.

Then she shook her head violently like a dog.

She stopped and growled angrily at Pyroar.

If Pyroar can't stay with her sadness, then she can't stay with her anger either?

Of course she can stay with her anger.

Why did she doubt that for a moment?

Damn Pyroar.

Why does she keep making her doubt her own feelings?

Pyroar didn't react at all.

So in the end she felt angry because she felt bad for Pyroar?

That doesn't matter anymore.

This will not happen again.

No one will stop her from feeling this anger.

NO ONE.

Rhydon inhaled sharply, puffing out his chest to the point of leaning back.

FIGHT ME.

Rhydon threw his body forward, letting out a thunderous roar.

The roar created a wave of energy in the form of white lines that rippled through Pyroar's fur.

Pyroar's fur swayed like a barometer, with red and yellow streaks emanating from it.

The roar was so loud it was creating a micro-vacuum, as the air behind Rhydon was being pulled in and mixing with the roar.

The air behind Pyroar became such a strong gust of wind that it was tearing chunks from the ground.

The ground even began to tremble slightly.

After a while, Rhydon's chest returned to normal and the roar stopped abruptly.

Pyroar's fur was disheveled as if it had just taken a bath.

The surroundings were chunks of the ground scattered on the floor itself, the air and tremors stopping immediately while there was a tiny echo in the air.

Rhydon was panting to catch its breath.

And Pyroar still hadn't reacted.

Rhydon looked around her.

There were strands of red and yellow fallen on the ground.

They weren't strands.

It was hair.

Rhydon looked up.

There was hair scattered in various directions, from very close to them to quite far away because of the roar.

And there was a lot of it.

She looked at Pyroar's hair.

Not only was it thinner now, but it had also become shorter.

She's not weak... is she sick? Dying?

So that's what she meant by "it doesn't matter"?

She's not going to fight at all.

Rhydon's expression turned determined, and he snorted through his nose.

Whatever.

Then she'll do it all herself.

Rhydon stood tall, towering above Pyroar.

She activated her drill horn...

Then came a twisting sound.

Everything froze.

Rhydon's expression was shocked.

Her horn stopped immediately.

And then came an enormous pain.

Rhydon screamed and doubled over in agony, clutching her horn as her body trembled.

She felt something warm...

Warm and liquid covering the base of the horn and seeming to ooze out.

She even felt some of that liquid heat slightly soiling her face.

The heat passed through her hands and dripped down.

This pain...

It's the same pain she'd been feeling when she used the horn until now...

But much worse.

That was good... it made her angry...

Now there's no anger, nothing.

It just hurts... it hurts so much.

She feels nothing but pain and agony.

Rhydon slowly stroked the horned hands and examined them.

They were stained with fresh blood, trickling in small waterfalls in various directions because of his round hands.

She looked at the ground; the low plants were either stained or pooled with drops until they overflowed and dripped.

The blood on her horn traced an outline, pooling and cascading in two waterfalls very close to her nose because of the shape of her face.

And there was some dried blood splattered near her eyes as if it had exploded.

Rhydon rubbed the back of his hands in the blood on her face and horn, removing the excess. Now it was dripping much less.

So the pain she had felt until now was this? She hadn't imagined it was so bad.

She stared intently at her blood-stained hands, which were drying.

The pain is lessening...it scares her...

Her hands began to tremble.

The pain is fading...and she's not feeling anything.

Where is that anger? She needs it...

Her hands trembled even more.

A strange feeling was emerging, one she didn't like...

It felt like anger, but it was different...

It wasn't anger itself, it was...more desperate.

Her gaze became desperate.

If she doesn't feel anger, then she will...

She turned slowly to Pyroar and stared at her with an intense look.

Then her expression mixed with a hint of anger.

SHE NEEDS TO.

She activated her horn, but slower than usual.

Still, it caused blood to gush out in greater quantities and run down the same places as before on her face.

She squeezed her eyelids shut in agony, but soon opened them slightly and continued spinning her horn.

Then came that twisting sound again.

Blood spurted from the horn.

And it all repeated itself.

But instead of agonizing, Rhydon felt a shock coming from that area that froze her.

She slowly began to fall diagonally, accelerating until she hit the ground.

Her body went limp as her eyes closed in a faint.

##

She regained consciousness.

But everything was still dark.

She couldn't hear anything either.

Not even the wind.

But she felt something on her face, something dry. And a metallic taste in her mouth.

But what could it be?...

Ah. Yes.

It's her blood.

And it seemed to be more than before.

So using the horn didn't work.

She should probably open her eyes and assess the damage.

But she doesn't want to.

Not yet.

She has things to think about.

And feel.

She is feeling.

That which she wanted to avoid.

This... pain.

The pain of loss.

For having lost her cubs.

When she lost them, she was devastated.

But she didn't want to be sad, yet she also didn't know what she could feel.

Then she felt anger.

She began to feel anger at everything.

From the stones, from the walls she herself had dug, from the insects, from the pain in her horn.

But none of them deserved it.

Because she didn't feel anger towards any of those things. She never had.

She only tried to act like she did, because she wanted to project her real anger onto something.

She wanted a punching bag for her rage.

Because her real anger...

Was towards the situation.

She felt anger at having lost her puppies.

She was angry at all the pain that was in that situation.

And she felt anger for being sad about all of this.

She desperately tried to feel and cling to that anger.

Not even when she slept could she calm down.

Always wanting to fight with someone.

Always wanting to destroy rocks.

Just to escape all this pain.

But she couldn't.

When she saw Pyroar, her gaze seemed familiar. It was understandable.

Now she knew why.

That gaze was made of the feelings she had tried so hard to escape.

…

So, is this Pyroar going through the same thing?

Grief?

I guess there's only one way to find out.

Rhydon slightly squinted.

She looked ahead, seeing a pool of dried blood the size of her mouth on the ground around her head.

Besides having more sneezes and marks of dried blood on her face.

She shifted her gaze to the middle.

Pyroar was staring at her, still with the same dejected look as always.

Rhydon stared back.

Could this terrible state of health be because she's also trying to escape her grief?

But if she were running away, she wouldn't have such a sincere look of pain.

Rhydon spoke.

Pyroar spoke back.

Pyroar, with great difficulty, lifted part of the front of his body off the ground.

Rhydon's eyes widened slightly.

Beneath her was a pool of dried blood.

And above the dried blood, there were two skeletons.

Skeletons of quadrupedal baby Pokémon with heads far too large for their bodies.

They were Litleos skeletons.

And a rib of one of them was broken and exposed.

And it was actively piercing its chest. There was also a circle of dried blood there.

Pyroar slowly, and with the same difficulty as before, lowered itself and returned to its previous stance. It didn't seem to react to the rib going deeper again.

She's running away too...

Running away from this sadness.

She chose not to feel anything.

She doesn't want to feel anything.

Rhydon visualized several flashbacks of Pyroar.

When Pyroar ignored her, when she did nothing to protect herself, and when she didn't care about fighting.

All that indifference, that lack of reaction...

Because she gave up on caring.

She literally prefers to die slowly than to live with this pain.

But then how?

How can she have these feelings so clearly on her face if she's running away from them?

Unless she's not running away...

If she never ran away...

But then that means...

That Rhydon never ran away either.

That all that anger, that despair, that restlessness...

It was always part of this pain.

Ah.

Now she understands a little better why Pyroar made her feel bad.

Pyroar expressed what she wanted to ignore.

It showed her the truth that she never left the bubble of suffering.

All of this until now was part of the experience of suffering.

Rhydon placed her hands on the ground, standing up. Pyroar didn't take her eyes off her.

It seemed like they were different things.

One wanted to escape through anger and aggression.

The other was giving up on feeling pain.

But in the end, both were the same, facing the pain of grief. Only in their own way.

Rhydon sat down, resting her arms on her knees. Still staring at Pyroar.

They are both the same side of the coin.

And now that she stopped ignoring it, she no longer feels anger.

All she feels is that she wants to face it.

To go through the process once and for all.

What were the stages of grief again?

Oh, it doesn't matter.

All that matters is that one of them is...

Acceptance.

Rhydon approached Pyroar.

Pyroar didn't look away.

Rhydon was different.

Those eyes seemed... to express the same thing she felt she was expressing.

Maybe she's in the same situation.

But Rhydon must not be feeling the same as her...

Because she's tired of feeling all of this.

She's tired of fighting. Of living with it.

Then Rhydon leaned his body lightly against hers and closed his eyes.

Rhydon let out a low, sad purr.

Pyroar's eyes widened slightly for the first time.

That sound...it felt so heavy.

A weight that she felt was so close to her.

Flashbacks of three young Rhydon falling from a huge cliff came to Rhydon.

But first there's the stage of depression.

A flashback appeared for Rhydon; it was the image of three terrified Rhydons falling from a very high cliff of red rocks. While another Rhydon looked desperately at them, bracing its hands to avoid falling.

Rhydon's expression contorted...

And tears began to fall from its eyes.

Pyroar looked devastated.

This feeling is horrible.

It hurts, whether you repress it or accept it, it hurts the same way.

It never leaves you alone, so you can only give up...

Pyroar lowered its head, looking at nothing in particular.

A flashback of a male Pyroar chasing two Litleos in an open field appeared.

Pyroar also closed its eyes.

A few tears fell from one of its eyes.

Rhydon unconsciously put an arm around Pyroar and hugged her.

It was awful, but Rhydon felt some relief now that he had let it all out.

She was tired of putting it off.

##

The sun was almost completely off the horizon, removing the yellow filter from the plain and giving it its normal color.

Rhydon was sleeping sitting up, almost falling forward.

Her eyelids then began to move and her eyes slowly opened.

She stared at the low plants that covered the entire plain floor, watching her normal color appear.

Then she turned her body to the side.

Pyroar's head lay limp on the ground, breathless.

Lifeless.

Rhydon stared at her for a while.

That injury was probably very serious.

She must have been in a terrible situation for quite some time.

She couldn't take it anymore.

Then she raised her head high and let out a sound that resembled a cry, but was softer.

Grief hurts.

It hurts a lot.

It's a path of no return, one that sometimes not everyone can face.

The scene changed to Rhydon walking back to the hill.

She stopped in front of it.

Then she punched the rocks, shattering them.

Then she punched again, and then again, and then again…

*Some time later*

The camera was inside a lake, with crystal-clear water and algae at the bottom swaying with every movement of the water.

Suddenly, something large fell into the water, churning it up.

The body was first covered in bubbles, then covered in the dirt that came off it.

And finally, Rhydon could be seen swimming upwards.

Rhydon put half of its body out of the water, shaking its head like a dog.

It quickly began to wet its face and horn with one hand, rubbing with the other to remove the dried blood.

The scene changed again, now showing the round red Berries of one of the trees away from the plain.

Rhydon appeared and looked up, specifically at the Berries.

It picked one and ate it whole, chewing calmly.

Even if it had had a bad experience in its life, that shouldn't prevent the good experiences.

Rhydon grunted happily at the taste of the Berry.

It swallowed and let out a satisfied sigh.

It looked at the plain.

To that seemingly endless green horizon, with trees every two kilometers and mountains that seem even more unreachable.

She smiled.

She began to walk, towards nowhere in particular.

Grief is a process in which we struggle with the pain of losing someone...

Not everyone can find a light at the end of the tunnel.

Sometimes some can't even overcome the process.

The camera focused on the place where Pyroar stood, slowly approaching.

But one death doesn't have to cause another.

There will always be those who will live for those who have died.

The camera zoomed in even closer.

That's why grief is also a process of keeping someone, not just in our hearts...

But the place where Pyroar always was is empty, with only the pool of dried blood remaining.

But also in our memories and experiences.

Let's clarify a few things.

First, Heracross and Pinsir were removing dead trees because the Pokémon that produce honey don't like them, and they both like honey, so they work together. This is my theory, because I find it very fun to use the dynamics of nature in Pokémon.

Second, Pyroar is obviously female, as is Rhydon. I say this because I use a translator, so the pronouns might get confusing.

Now, I love writing personal reflections in a psychological way. In case you haven't noticed.

From now on, my next story will only come on Valentine's Day and Women's Day.

And also, as I do in other Pokémon stories, here is the list of moves used:

Rhydon: Fire Blast - Fire type, Roar - Normal type, Horn Drill - Normal type, Earthquake - Ground type.

Pinsir: Pin Missile - Bug type.

That's it, I hope you enjoyed it.