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Oakman's miscellaneous short stories [mostly original fiction, probably]

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by John_Oakman, Mar 7, 2019.

  1. Threadmarks: intro and story 1

    John_Oakman Come touch my hentai machine

    Sep 27, 2016
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    Well, I noticed that when I'm feeling down (maybe depression? Nah, probably just me being melodramatic again) I find that writing short stories tend to release a lot of that negativity. So I might as well throw them here.


    So this first story is a parody of the iseaki genre (well, specifically some of the back cover summaries of those works of the genre), which despite liking the genre I tend to despise the bulk of the work.

    No thanks, my regrets are mine, and my alone​

    “You are dead, Kal.” The voice said out of the endless darkness.

    “About time.” Kal answered. At least he thought he did. He certainly didn’t feel his mouth or throat moved at any point, not that he expect them to. It’s been a while since he could really use those organs in a meaningful manner.

    “Hmm, you are an arrogant little one aren’t you?” The voice said. “Do you have any idea who you are conversing with?”

    “Does it really matter? Kal asked. “If this is a mere hallucination then nothing matters as none of it’s real. If I’m truly dead then what happen has happened, and nothing matters since I’m out of the living world.”

    “Really? Do you think the universe is that simple?”

    “Maybe? Does it matter?”

    “Irregardless,” The voice continued. “The fact of the matter is that you are dead, your soul has gone from the mortal coil.”


    “And I, as the god of-”

    “Oh for fuck’s sake, not this petty ass shit.” If Kal could still have felt his face and hands, he would have facepalmed right then and there.

    “If I were you, I would not be so uppity.” The voice said with a hint of harshness. “I am the manager of the souls of the multiverse.”

    “I don’t know, you seems more like a intern to me.” Not that Kal could actually see anything. “I mean, who else would give a shit about someone as little and insignificant as me?”

    “Your comprehension is truly pitiful.” The being said, seemingly annoying at the course of the conversation, “But enough of that. There is business to be done. A matter of the reincarnation of your soul to another world...”

    “No thanks.” Kal replied immediately but decisively.

    “What?” The being was shocked. No one has so flatly rejected such a proposal before. Sure, there was plenty of those who needed time to mull over the matter, or those who needed time to get over the notion that their religious beliefs during the past life was incorrect, but no one simply rejects such an offer. “Don’t you have plenty of regrets in that past life of yours? I know you do.”

    Then the entity, the so called god, begin to list all of Kal’s mistakes of his past life. “You cut yourself off from those around you, thereby cutting yourself from opportunities and advancements. You never even tried to court a girl because you set unrealistic expectations for yourself, expectations that you knew you could never reach. Your toxic notions on the expectations of the world around you drove your mind to the depths of depression. You worked yourself to an early grave because you never had the guts to face your own demons. Oh, and one more thing.” Even without a face to be seen, Kal could hear a smug smirk. “That little fortune you left behind has made some lawyers very wealthy, not so much for your relatives who fought over them. No one will remember you in a few weeks, as if you had never existed to begin with.”

    “And?” Kal was determined to not show any hint of cracks in his defiance, although he does wonder if said god has the ability to read his unspoken thoughts.

    “Don’t you want to do an over again? To live a life without regrets? You know I can bestow upon you some perks for your next life.”

    “No, absolutely not.” Kal’s defiance hardened. He was fully confident of his next words. “My regrets are my. They are the consequences of my decisions and choices in my life. I will not run away from them, nor forsaken them for the shallow fleshly pleasure of a regretless existence. They have made me, mold me, into who I am.”

    “Stubborn to the end, or should I say, even after the end. You really shouldn’t take refugee in your misery.”

    “I’m not, for I am taking responsibility for the choices of my life. To run away, to take the easy path, would have been the height of cowardness.”

    “You know this is not some secret test of character, or perhaps you are too dense to realize that? You are dead, what happened has happened. There is no one but me to hear your grandstanding.”

    “What you hear if what I believe from the bottom of my soul. I may have lived a life full of regrets, but the sum of it all was a worthy journey.”

    “Oh.” Came the reply. “Well then, off you go.” A light begin to emniate off in the distance.

    “Wait, what?” for the first time Kal was unsure of what’s going on.

    “What, you think you had a choice in the matter? You are going to get reincarnated whether you like or not.” The voice was already moving towards the distance. “There is no eternal oblivion or paradise.”

    “So be it. I am me, I’ll always be me!” Kal thought he last thoughts as the light consumed him…


    lightdreamer senpai, please notice me. ;)

    Okay seriously your analysis and tastes in the isekai genre has really helped me a lot (in this and other writings that aren't on QQ yet), just want to express my gratitude here.

    (seriously, I'm not sarcastic here. Damn it sometimes I really hate the part of the internet where everyone will interpret everything as sarcastic snark)
    Last edited: Mar 7, 2019
    TanaNari likes this.
  2. lightdreamer

    lightdreamer Know what you're doing yet?

    Mar 23, 2018
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    Huh? I never really did any serious analysis. It's more of me ranting more than anything.

    Glad to hear that anyway. :)
  3. Threadmarks: Story 2

    John_Oakman Come touch my hentai machine

    Sep 27, 2016
    Likes Received:
    The Last Computation​

    The universe was ending.

    It wasn’t inevitable, the heat death of the universe might have been set by the laws of physics, but it wasn’t as the mere entirety of the universe was all there was. There was potential for so much more, so much potential, so much hopes and dreams.

    But it was coming nevertheless, the chance came and pass without anyone to seize the moment, and now there was nothing to do but circling the drain.

    It was a time of endings, an unnatural but inevitable winding down of the pulse of activity.

    In a rather unremarkable part of a galaxy lies a rather unremarkable system. Unremarkable in all features except for its youth, it was one of the youngest stars, perhaps one of the last stars born in the universe. Feeding off of its heat was an simple dyson swamp, the energy they dutifully gathered feeding to a rather ordinary supercomputer. Ordinary by the standards of the times, but still representing a concentration of computing power that rivals the collective efforts of entire civilizations.

    The supercomputer calmly worked on its computation. With all its effort and power it quietly hums along, seemingly oblivious to the dying universe around it. If it weren’t so busy at its duties it might have developed sapiance, and questioned its duty, purpose, and meaning of its existence. But there wasn’t time for that, it has its order to obey, its duties to do.

    As the star winked out all across the universe, never to be lit again, civilizations collapsed and refugees fled. To the last stars that still shine. To live for a few moments more, regardless of how meaningful those moments would have been. Wars broke out, expending the last of their energies on meaningless carnage, the very essence they needed to live just one more moment.

    The system was well defended, and fought back all threats. Automated defense drones, the products of long dead geniuses, continued their last duties with the same proficiency right up to the very end.

    It was all too soon when the star itself begin to dim, finally running out fuel to continue its existence. With the last of their strength, the drones and swarms of the system pushed the supercomputer away, away from the last of the dying star, out into the endless void.

    Now alone and cold out of of the only home it knew, and with the last of its energy, the supercomputer tirelessly continued its computation. With its dying thought it did finished it. It wasn't all in vain after all.

    It mined the last bitcoin, the final possible bitcoin in all of the universe.

    There was no celebrations, no congratulations. Only the endless silence and cold of the void. Of a universe in absolute zero. Of not a single motion even at the atomic level. But at least it had all the bitcoins.
    lightdreamer likes this.
  4. Threadmarks: Story 3

    John_Oakman Come touch my hentai machine

    Sep 27, 2016
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    Crossposting from AH.com

    Ancient Advancement Episode 4: The Kingdom of Skulls​

    *cheesy opening title & theme song plays*

    *a 30-something dude (he's American, well, sort of) wearing some badly fitting Khakis stands in a clearing in a jungle somewhere*

    "Hello viewers, welcome to another exciting episode of Ancient Advancement. I'm your host, John Oakman, and today we are venturing deep into the jungles of Southeast Asia, in search of the mythical 'Red Khmer', a mythical civilization in which legends claimed to possess technologies that Western civilizations have only recently discovered.

    *very simplified narration on the history of the region, which was surprisingly close to OTL while a montage of our intrepid fool host moves into the jungle.*

    *Host finally made it into a clearing, where a couple of archaeologists (presumably, or just actors, who the fuck knows) were doing digging things.*

    "... and now here we see... oh my gosh. Are those-"

    *one of the archaeologist turned towards the host*

    "Yes, those are skulls, all of them. There are more piles of such around here. This is the third site like this. So far we have probably unearthed over 20,000 so far"

    "Oh, that's a lot."

    "Given the climate of the location, it's not too far to assume that there are merely a small faction of the total amount of bodies."

    "So that means? That-"

    "Yes, we are talking about millions killed within a span of decades, in a geographical location that is smaller than the size of Virginia."

    "Must have been a nasty plague then."

    "Um, no. Most of these skulls show signs of trauma and injury commonly associated with direct application of impact by shovel."

    "Are you implying that they were murdered?"

    "I'm not implying, I'm stating it directly."

    "Okay... time for a commercial break, we'll be right back after this."

    *commercial break, including a space opera series on the Sci-Fi Channel called "The Stars are Ablaze"*

    "And now we are back. So let's see what else our dig team have found..."

    *cheap ass stuff happens, mostly rusted shit that if you squint hard enough might have once been a rifle... probably not though, since they're often found next to other rusted shit that looks like spear points and other medieval weapons... wait a minute, those things, could those be ammunition casings?*

    *one of the archaeologists/quacks begins speaking*

    "Although there are light evidences of industrial firearms, there are so far no evidence of any production facilities or even equipment. Although given the complexity and fragility those would unlikely to survive the climate."

    *More presumably bullshit quackery that shows like these are infamous for. There are tidbits on semi-useful shit though, something about population collapse due to regression of agricultural technologies and methods, among other things.*

    *Nearing the end of the show, our host, visibly shaken, begins droning on*

    "... it appears that this ancient civilization, for reasons unknown, turned their back on the very technologies that made their existence possible, and in their collapse lead to one of the most brutal regime in human history until the modern era. It's blood stain legacy lived on in this cursed land, and many subsequent nations of this region all claimed its legacy and seek to emulate it's methods, the most recent of them the Neo-Maoist backed regime popularly known as..."
  5. Threadmarks: Story 4

    John_Oakman Come touch my hentai machine

    Sep 27, 2016
    Likes Received:
    Ancient Advancement Episode 7: The keepers of the Mountains​
    *Cheesy intro plays*

    *a different 30 something white American dude this time, but honestly still sketchy looking*

    "Hello viewers, welcome to another exciting episode of Ancient Advancement. I'm your host, Mark Poe, standing in for John Oakman (who suffered a minor sickness in the previous episode in Ukraine), and today we will head high up into the Thunder Dragon Empire to investigate the supposed "keepers" of ancient advance knowledge. Let's go!"

    *traveling montage to Bhutan, at least the air travel part. The airplane lands on an airport that's little more than a concrete field and some buildings.*

    "So allegedly this simple concrete field was a faithful recreation of the original based on ancient instructions, down to the materials used. If you look closely you could still see some of the original field. The climate of the region meant that things preserves easily."

    (author's note: no, no you couldn't. They're just bullshitting, this is the history channel after all)

    *Meets the local guide, who seems to have an expression that says "here we go again, another loon who really don't want to understand anything". An exchanged of greetings (which Poe immediately fucks up, but since he's also just a dumber Westerner, the locals let it slide), followed by the usual quick explanation of where they are going.*

    *montage of him traveling to some ancient temple, with a narration explaining the history of the region, which differs from OTL like a Tibet that continuously maintained its independence, and even repeatedly smacked the Chinese around when they got delusional designs on the region due to assistance of "the weapons of the Thunder Dragon". Including firearms that has the power of battalions, cannons with the reach beyond what the furthest eyes could see, etc. Even a crazy story about a Nazi expedition to these "mountain aryans" to join the axis in 1938 (they failed), and the persistent rumor that fabled Mach 2 Me-557 Wespe II was designed with stolen technological blueprints from the Thunder Dragon Empire.*

    "So, here we are in front of the Temple of the Temporal Peace, where the supposed original archives before the "dislocation" occurred, and we... hey, why are the doors not open?"

    *A brief scene of the local guide and one of the monks of the temple arguing something in their native language. After the discussion the local guide was seen shaking his head at Poe and the camera crew.*

    "Apparently contrary to what the home office had told us, we actually didn't get permission to enter the premise. Well, that's alright. We have a back up plan. Back to the bus!"

    *another travel montage, with a narration about the complex history of the unbelievable story of the Thunder Dragon Empire, how most Western countries have dismissed their official story that their entire country has been temporally displaced over a thousand years. The more mainstream theories on why these people would spin such a tall tale in the first place, from ancient aliens to collective delusion from overdose of drugs. By this point the Bhutan government has mostly given up on telling "the truth" and quite frankly are really annoyed by all the crazy nutjobs that gravitate towards their country as part of the booming conspiracy industry. in fact the famous alternate news investigative journalist Alex Jones was thrown out of the country for attempting to break into a ancient burial site in order to prove that reptilians actually existed.*

    *The crew arrived in front of another building, the Museum of Forever, a really weird name for a museum. They managed to enter the premise without problems.*

    "Here we can see hand written copies of many of the original manuscripts, during a period of time in which their printing capabilities have fallen into disrepair. As you can see, the languages on them, while having many similarities to many of their modern counterparts, do contain numerous differences. For example, this text here seems to have a base of English but with a significant level of Japanese influences, almost comparable to the Weeabooese language of the Republic of Nippon."

    *More stuff, including some of the weapons on display, which are just different enough from existing designs that they appear to be more akin to knock off versions of the original. Poe was obviously pushing the ancient advance tech theory but it's the usual history channel level of dreck.*

    "Unfortunately, we do not have permission to do carbon dating, nor do we have the equipment on hand, but this should be proven beyond doubt that the Thunder Dragon Empire was an post industrial civilization far before any other civilization on the planet. But a question still remained: why did their technology stagnate?"

    *scene cuts to an actual historian looking dude sitting in an office somewhere, judging by the look of his face it's clear he didn't like this gig, but he needed the money.*

    "Often times people tend to forget that technological and scientific discoveries are the cumulative results of a society that is large and stable enough to have the excess capacity and resources to devote to projects and activities that does not have immediate returns. The theory of gravity didn't immediate change how the world works, but it was discovered by a person living in a society rich enough that people like him could have a job to simply learn for learning's sake. The Thunder Dragon Empire was, and still is, too small and lacking in resource and manpower to continue advancing what they have. In fact it is a miracle that they were able to preserve as much as they did, although the climate does helped a lot in that regard."

    *Cuts back to Poe still freezing his ass off back in Bhutan*

    "Thank you for tuning in to this episode of Ancient Advancement, this is your host Mark Poe standing in for John Oakman. Tune in next week as we go deep into the land of Peru to find the "Shining Path"."
    Last edited: Jul 12, 2019 at 4:09 AM