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OverMaster's Little Crummy Corner of Sub-Par Writing

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by OverMaster, Aug 27, 2018.

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  1. OverMaster

    OverMaster Send me money. I need money

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    Miss Keiichi.

    "Skuld?" Yuuna peeked into her room. "There's someone asking for you."

    "Tell them I'm not here," Skuld grunted while working on the Tanaka Chao had asked her to repair.

    "I don't think she'll take a no for an answer, Skuld," Yuuna rasped, "she--"

    "Forget it, I'll tell her myself!" a tanned woman with white hair wearing a short black dress shoved Yuuna aside and stormed into the room. "Why, you little troublemaker! You had one job...!"

    Skuld looked back at her, pulled her goggles up, and frowned. "Well, but if it's the Goddess of Hypocrites herself, coming to chide me months after abandoning her duty! What did you do to your hair, Urd?"

    "Forget my hair," Urd growled back, while Yuuna looked on in curiosity. "I can't believe you actually made Keiichi wish for that! Are you aware of how mad will Bell be?!"

    Skuld shrugged. "At least, thanks to it, I'll be actually be able to pull her out so she can be mad at me. Better than doing nothing at all like you!"

    Urd's right eyebrow twitched. "You... Don't talk to me as if you... And, anyway! If you made him wish for that, how come you aren't living with him right now?!"

    "I'll admit that's a glaring plot hole, but I prefer it that way," Skuld went back to work. "If the Ultimate Force hasn't bothered to fix it yet, why should I?"

    Urd fumed. "Well, the Force can't get involved itself now you're a dropout, but guess what, they sent me to enforce the terms in their name!"

    Skuld paused again, looking at her sister in waking concern. "Are... Are you going to drag me to Keiichi's dorm...?"

    "Of course not, they won't allow girls there," Urd said, then reached out of the room, grabbed some wrist, and pulled an extremely embarrassed, black haired young woman with thick eyebrows in. "So I had to improvise! Look at what you made me do, Skippy!"

    Keiichi let out a mortified, rather feminine sounding groan. "Why is anything of this going on at all?! How in the world did I deserve this...?!"

    Skuld looked on, wide eyed, then just shrugged callously and went back, once again, to the robot's fix-up job. "You can take the bunk over Yuuna's, I have my own bed anyway."

    Yuuna bit on her lower lip. "I... I know I should protest, but..."
     
  2. OverMaster

    OverMaster Send me money. I need money

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    I Forgave You Long Ago.

    Negi was sitting miserably on the floor, with the new card in his hands, when Tatsumiya entered the room.

    It was pointless to ask, so she just stood there and waited, until he spoke.

    "I never got to tell her I was sorry," he said, without looking back.

    "Hmmmm," Mana murmured. "Chisame told me that you did."

    "Yes, I did, but I really didn't. That's the worst part of it all. I wasn't being... all that honest when I told Asuna-san... no, Asuna... that."

    "Yes, I thought that might be so, too, from the way Chisame phrased it," Mana pondered quietly.

    Negi sighed. "I'm a terrible liar. And a coward, too. I blamed Asuna-san for my failure, when it was me who couldn't meet the challenge in time. I forced her hand, and yet... I was upset at her all the same. I, I didn't really want to, but--!"

    "Well," Mana interrupted, "then just tell her again, sincerely this time, when you next see her. And keep in mind, when getting furious at someone, you'll never know for sure if you'll ever get a chance to apologize properly."

    He glanced back over his shoulder, sullen. "That's such a bleak outlook on such subjects, Mana-san."

    "Better than yours, where even right now you're fearing we won't see her again. That's always a possibility, sure thing. But you shouldn't let that possibility blind you to its opposite."

    Negi said nothing, letting his head hang.

    "By the way," Mana added, "since you're on an apologizing mood, maybe you should go and tell that Luna girl that you aren't really angry at her after all."

    "Do you think I really should?"

    "It's what you feel, no? You should learn being more honest with your emotions already. But I guess it's a good thing, that you've learned enough from your anger to Asuna, to be more forgiving in this case. Do it while you can, so you won't repeat that mistake. I think she's a good person, despite everything."

    Negi rose back to his feet, dusting his pants off. "You're right. Are you coming with me?"

    She was blunt. "No. Good person or not, I haven't forgiven her over what they did to Asuna."

    Negi smiled faintly, put the card in his breast pocket, and walked out of the room.
     
  3. OverMaster

    OverMaster Send me money. I need money

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    Cracking the Shell.

    "Hurry up," Risa said, risking a glance back and gulping. "I don't know how long they will hold 'em back...!"

    "Don't disturb me, do you think this is easy to crack?!" Sekijou protested as she and Shiguma kept on struggling with the locks. "What if these things are actually reinforced with 'magic'?! For all we know, we'd never crack them then!"

    "It seems logical that they would resort to such measures, huh..." Rika pondered to herself, nonetheless persevering and twisting her tools in along Sekijou's, until, of a sudden, and much to their shared surprise, the locks popped open and fell on their feet, and the doors came open. "Well, what do you think of that! The climax's been reached! We just hit the G spot! We--"

    "Shhhhh!" Saeki hushed her, peeking in and squinting into the fading darkness of the cell, as light from the outside began pouring in. "Negi-sensei, are you okay...?"

    The boy sitting on a chair at a corner of the cell finally opened his eyes and looked up from the knees he'd been hugging against himself. "Kaori-san...?"

    "Oh, you remember me!" the blonde grinned. "That's so sweet of you! We came to rescue you, Sensei!"

    "To... rescue... What, what, how did you make it here?!" Negi sprang from the chair, looking in bewilderment at the seven girls and two boys. "Do you have any idea what you have just done?! Now they'll punish you as well!"

    "Oh, Rika can take a lot of punishment with a lot of satisfaction," Shiguma said with a wry smile, moving in to reach and pat his hair. "And that'll be only if they get their hands on us, which won't happen if you just move your buttocks already!"

    "They'll get us event-- Even you, Kotegawa-san?" he interrupted himself in disbelief, looking at Yui.

    The black haired girl blushed and shook her hands before herself. "I, I, I simply had to come to play control damage and make sure they wouldn't endanger themselves or y-you too much...!"

    "Will you just come along at once, Sensei?" Mio grew impatient, grabbing Negi by an arm and pulling him to herself. "We still have to find your clubmates and get outta here!"

    "I can't leave, if they do, they'll just arrest my--" Negi blinked. "Wait. Have they arrested Chisame, Iinchou and the others too?!"

    "Didn't you know?" Itou blinked as Keima kept on playing with his PFP absently. "Sensei, they caught all of your club but Shiina-san and Yuuna-san! They're the ones who pulled us here to rescue you..."

    "..." Negi said, his eyes growing blank and tiny.

    "Listen," Sekijou said, grabbing him by the arms and giving a light squeeze. "As we speak, Misaka-san, Kuroko-san, Shiina-san, Akashi-san and Sagara-senpai are holding back the guards left to watch over you, and the others are looking for your partners, but--"

    "O-Others?!" Negi gasped. "How many more have you involved into this?!"

    "I lost count, honestly," Makoto confessed. "You're popular, you were aware of that, right?"

    Negi paled starkly for a moment, then swallowed and stepped out of the cell. "Take me to those guards," he instructed, rolling his sleeves up. "I'd like to discuss few things with them on the treatment of my students."
     
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  4. OverMaster

    OverMaster Send me money. I need money

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    Proto.

    "Behold!" Gilgamesh grinned wickedly as he displayed the Gate of Babylon for the stunned Shirou and Artoria. "Here, I hold prototypes for all weapons known by mankind...!"

    He reached into one of the portals and, much to his own shock, pulled out a blonde, red eyed head from it.

    "Indeed!" the Prototype Gilgamesh said. "And those prototypes are the ultimate, unbeatable versions of every weapon, including me, the definite living weapon! An unstoppable breahing engine of warfare and--"

    "What in the world, you mongrel?!" the other Gilgamesh roared. "Are you implying that you are better than me, the real King of Uruk?!"

    "You said it yourself, I am your prototype, and you know how the rules of Gate of Babylon work! Are you doubting the wisdom of Gilgamesh?!"

    "I don't recognize any Gilgamesh but Gilgamesh!"

    "Then you should kneel before Gilgamesh!"

    "You wish! Have at thee, knave...!"

    As they began fighting each other brutally, Shirou blinked, watching on. "What... What the hell are we just seeing...?"

    Saber frowned, then walked up to one of the lowest portals hovering over the battlefield. "I don't know, but..." she plunged her hand in, and then pulled out the blinking head and shoulders of an armored blond man, who looked back at her. "What manner of wizardry...?!"

    "This seriously isn't what I wanted to be doing tonight," Arthur said quietly.
     
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  5. DeclanDSI

    DeclanDSI The Eternally Dreaming Shrine Maiden

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    You should really threadmark all of this. Thanks for the snips!
     
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  6. OverMaster

    OverMaster Send me money. I need money

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    My pleasure!

    I'll see what can I do about threadmarks when I have more time to organize everything.

    ---

    My Prince.

    They sat in silence for several moments then, as the lights died down.

    "You knew this from the start... didn't you?" Chisame finally asked Skuld, with a subtle dangerous edge to her voice.

    Skuld shrugged. "What if I did? Does it make any difference to you?"

    Chisame was going to say something, but Haruka beat her to it, grabbing Skuld by the collar. "That's not the issue! It makes a difference TO HIM!" She then pointed at the still stunned, wide eyed silence, still staring at where the projection had been. "It was his family, his own mother, and you never said anything...!"

    "Haruka-chan, please, no..." Yukino pleaded, trying to pull her back.

    "They knew too," Tsukuyomi pointed out, pointing her blade casually at where Erza, Lucy, Natsu and Happy sat.

    "I thought you'd all know!" Erza protested, her eyes suddenly going goofily round and monochrome for a moment. "Wait, why didn't anyone ever tell him?!"

    "Besides, it's not like he ever cared to ask about his mother, did he?" Tsukuyomi added. "It never mattered either way, did it, Negi-han?" she smiled at him.

    "I..." he said, as if snapping back to reality, and then closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose with a moan. "I never imagined it could be... this way. I never was given even a clue..."

    "Hey, take it easy," Lucy patted his shoulder. "If not told, who would ever guess his mother had been a queen, right? You can't be faulted for never suspecting."

    "That's easy for you to say, you're the daughter of a millionaire," Natsu observed.

    "Shut up! What does that have to do with anything?" the blonde snapped at him.

    "Skuld's right about something, this really doesn't change anything about the way we see you, Negi," Asuna reassured the boy, petting his scalp. "For Iinchou, Chisame, Misora, Misa and Natsumi-chan, you've always been their prince, and for me, you've always been a royal pain in the--"

    "Please don't release statements of that nature for me!" Chisame's growl interrupted her.

    Negi gave a small sigh, regaining his full bearings slowly. "Th-Thank you, everyone," he said at last. "The feeling's mutual, I won't change my mind about any of you, or our relationships, from now on either..."

    "Hey, I have changed my mind about you," Tsukuyomi said. "For starters, now I'll charge you three times as much for my services! The elite get the Royal Package!"

    "It must be nice for you, to finally serve a prince who isn't the prince of darkness, huh," Lena deadpanned.

    Webby looked up at Rakan. "Sooooo... what happened to the Queen after that, then? Where's she now?"

    Rakan's amused smile at the exchanges froze then, and he turned his face away from the youngsters.

    "... hey, I had to ask, otherwise Negi wouldn't have thought of it for another ten years," Webby offered to the rest of Ala Alba, and then poked the oddly silent Jack's ribs with a finger. "Mr. Rakaaaaaaan? I just asked a questiooooooooon!"

    "That's a tale for another day, kiddo," Jack said, without looking at them.

    "Eh?" Chisame frowned. "But what's the point of--"

    "We collectively swore a solemn promise."

    "Who's that 'we' you're talking about?! And what kind of promise is more important than Negi's--"

    "On my honor as a man...!"

    "You're a high charging lazy ass renegade mercenary, what honor are you even standing on?!"

    "Not even if you killed me...!"

    "Oh, for God's sake," Louise angrily slapped herself on a knee. "Stop wasting your time and saliva, Chisame!" Then her eyes grew black and red as she abruptly turned her whip on Skuld, pressing it against the young goddess' throat. "It's obvious we've got to apply that pressure elsewhere...!"

    "Gyaaahh!" Skuld gasped. "Negi! Y-Yue! Rito-saaaaan!"
     
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  7. OverMaster

    OverMaster Send me money. I need money

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    Peanuts- Featuring 'Good Ol' Joseph Kerr'.

    "Okay," the Joker paced back and forth before them, then pointing at one of them. "Your name's Franklin..."

    "I'm named Joe, though. Why--"

    "Because you're the black guy! You girls are Patty and Marcie..."

    "Ah," one of the women said, "so I'm supposed to be a Marcie, and she's--"

    "No, no, she's Marcie and you're Patty! You, Marcie, you've got to wear glasses as well."

    "Eh? Why?" the Marcie asked.

    "Because you don't have freckles," the Joker said.

    "What does one thing have to do with the other?!"

    The Joker sighed. Then he pointed his finger at the blond man. "You'll be Schroeder. Do you know how to play the piano?"

    "Why do we need playing piano to rob banks and stuff?" he asked back, confused.

    "Never mind," Joker threw his hands up. "I'll just put a recording inside the piano and you'll pretend you're playing." He addressed the last two recruits. "You're Lucy, and you'll be our Chuck Brown..."

    "Can't I be Patty? I'm actually named Patty!"

    "NO!" the clown growled. "Because you don't have freckles either!"

    The bald man raised his hand. "Boss, why don't we have a Linus?"

    "Because Linus is a goody-goody two shoes who quotes the Bible a lot and I don't--" Joker blinked at him and finally smiled. "Ah! Finally, someone who gets it!"

    "Sure thing," the bald thug shrugged. "I'm not that ignorant, Boss."

    "I see. You're going to make for a competent lead, then?"

    He smiled proudly. "Sure I will! I've got plenty of experience! I've worked f'r Penguin, Black Mask, and Bane, and none of 'em has a bad thing to say about me! It's just, well, they were busted by the Bat and I lost those jobs, but I've always been the best at what I--"

    "THEN YOU CAN'T BE CHARLIE BROWN! CHARLIE BROWN'S SUPPOSED TO BE A FAILURE! NONE OF YOU FIT THIS, YOU'RE ALL FIRED!" Joker shouted, pulling a tommy gun and machine gunning them all in the spot.

    ---

    "Okay," Joker breathed in deeply, addressing the men in animal suits. "Never mind the stains on the floor. Just pay attention, I'm going to assign you your roles. You're Pogo, you'll be Albert Alligator, you're going to be Porkypine, you'll--"

    "Uhhhhh... What's a Pogo?" Pogo asked.

    "DAMN THIS ERA, AM I GOING TO HAVE TO ASSEMBLE SOME JAP CARTOON GANG?!"
     
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  8. OverMaster

    OverMaster Send me money. I need money

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    Anything that Freezes.

    "Elsa," Anna smiled warmly. "Meet Negi, we met early today. I'm going to marry him and join his collective so we can have children who will save the world!"

    The small boy bowed. "Truly pleased to meet you. As beautiful as Anna had said," he spoke right before delicately kissing Elsa's suddenly very cold hand.

    Elsa's right eyebrow twitched.

    A second later, a huge explosion of ice did burst out through every window and door of the castle, encasing it into a huge icy tomb.

    In the distance, a young man sitting by a reindeer looked down the mountains, and towards the city. "Wow, did you just feel that, Sven? What a sudden draft...!"
     
  9. OverMaster

    OverMaster Send me money. I need money

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    The Sound of Your Voice.

    "What are they doing?" he asked his father, as he was led by him into another room, where several technicians sat before four gigantic electronic consoles, fully immersed into their work.

    The titan of a bald man smiled. "They're running recordings of Spider-Man's voice, from the last time he broke into my quarters to punch my men while braying nonstop, as is his custom, Richard."

    "And--?"

    "And then," the Kingpin of Crime said, lighting his cigar, "they are comparing them against recordings of every visitant to every of my installations over the last ten years. Even those who have entered any shop owned by my associates. Every warehouse. Every office. Sooner or later, they'll nail him."

    "I see!" Richard Fisk hummed. "And of course, they're taking into account that he should disguise his voice while in costume?"

    "Naturally. That delays the proccess, inevitably, as they have to run the same comparations for every possible alteration. But that's okay. It's still just a matter of time. It might take months. The best part of a year, I calculate. But, unless he is a pariah who's never interacted with anyone relevant in New York, I'm bound to nail him eventually. No matter if he's an associate, an employee, an associate's employee. A politician, an enforcer, a mercenary. A reporter, a delivery boy, it's all the same. I'll have him in my power soon enough."

    He outstretched a massive hand and flexed it into a crushing fist.

    "And when I do... Well. I'm not as... fond of him as I'm of Matt Murdock..."

    Somewhere else in the city, swinging high above the streets, a figure in red and blue shuddered.

    There was nobody close, and nothing close either. And yet his sense had just buzzed as never before.

    The Sound of Your Voice, Addendum.

    Richard allowed himself a smirk. "How about my voice? Have you analyzed it yet?"

    "Oh, boy, my boy," the Kingpin said. "Where do you think I started...?"
     
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  10. OverMaster

    OverMaster Send me money. I need money

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    Nobody Will Miss You.

    "Boss, can I ask you a question?"

    That was, of course, a suicidal thing to do, questioning him at all. But she'd thrown her lot in with him exactly because of how dangerous it was. Well. Among other things.

    The Joker glanced bck at her from the plans. "Sure thing, Punchline," he said with aloof magnanimity. "Shoot away."

    "Instead of setting all these explosives under a retirement home we won't make a dime out of, why don't we put them all under Arkham and be done with it? That way you'll get of all your competition in a single sweep and--"

    He cackled raspily from the depths of his throat, shaking his head. Almost eagerly, she studied him for any signs of him getting ready to strike in retaliation, and her heart raced at the prospect of dancing that lethal ballet with him. But, almost to her disappointment, he replied calmly. "No, no, girl. You don't get it. Those old folks? They're so unlike us."

    He grinned and looked out the window, into the night. "I'm not in the business of doing people favors, Alexis. I'm not an altruistic. Do you know what's humor? Humor is when you fall into an open manhole and die. Tragedy is when I stump my toe."

    "You're right. I don't get it..."

    He closed his eyes and placed two fingers on his forehead. "People like us, we're better off dead. Nobody will miss us. Those poor old souls enjoying the fruits of their lives' work in their golden retire, those poor fellows back at home who will mourn them. They're the joke. There's no humor on blowing Arkham up. That's just altruism."

    "Oh. I see. I think I get it now..."

    "Good bad girl," he fondly patted her head then. "Nobody would miss you either, so keep up that and you'll live. That makes no sense, of course, and it's why it makes perfect sense. Now call the boys and we'll be on the move already..."

    Was this how Quinn used to feel? How odd. It was a good and a bad feeling at the same time.

    Perhaps that was the gag of it, then.
     
  11. OverMaster

    OverMaster Send me money. I need money

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    Tales from Mahorafest- Violence and Diplomacy.

    Lala Satalin Deviluke blinked and looked up from the cup of tea she'd just been brought.

    "What's all that noise outside?" she asked.

    The nice man who'd just come to check on her hewed slightly and fidgeted with the collar of his shirt. "Nothing all that important, really..."

    Lala sipped her drink quietly. "That's strange. It reminds me of the commotion of war. Are you familiar with the presence of war, Sensei?"

    Seruhiko struggled not to flinch, trying to look as casual as ever. "Not really, no..."

    "Ah," the pink haired girl said. "Lucky you! I'm not fond of war, really, but Dad says I've got to get familiar with it, just in case. That keeping peace is a never ending battle, and to achieve it, you always have to be prepared for some violence..."

    "Well," Seruhiko swallowed subtly, keeping his eyes on the door and hoping for Takahata's prompt arrival, even though he had to be busy elsewhere. "Violence should always be only the absolute last resource..."

    "Oh, absolutely!" she agreed. "I don't know why Dad's ever so worried about violence. He's the kind to... jump to conclusions and actions, you know? Like, he always gets so overprotective whenever he thinks I've been placed in danger, or even offended..."

    "P-Parents are always that way, no matter where," Seruhiko said, feeling a chill up his spine, the kind he'd never felt before through his years of service.

    Lala stood quietly. "I guess. Even though Rito's don't seem to care that much. Please tell me, where do you keep Rito?"

    "I... I haven't been privvy to that info, but he's just being questioned, you shouldn't--"

    "Please don't tell me what I should or should not do when it comes to my husband or my wife, Sensei," Lala asked politely, even as he subtly reached for the wand in his breast, his hand shivering. "I don't want them hurt during any of this."

    "They won't be, you aren't prisoners, it's just we have to--"

    "Please don't keep lying to me either, Sensei," she added, ever so polite, right before her right arm sprang up, and she hit him in the chin, sending him flying across the room and against a wall.

    Lala sighed as he slumped to the floor, unconscious, and then walked to him and bowed. "I'm really sorry. I tried my best. When it comes to these things, I try and take after Mom, rather than Dad."

    She made her way to the cell's door, ripped it off its hingers with her bare hands, clenched her teeth at the massive magical electricity bursts rippling through her body, and then darted out the hallway.
     
  12. Threadmarks: My Secret Life, Part One
    OverMaster

    OverMaster Send me money. I need money

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    My Secret Life, Part One.

    "Satoru?" she asked, entering the room.

    The young man looked back from the report he'd been writing on his computer. "Oh, it's you, Sayoko. Do you need money?"

    "No... I mean, yes, I do, Of course I do!" she corrected herself after a moment, applying two fingers to her forehead. "Why wouldn't I? But we can discuss that later, I have something more important to tell you right now..."

    Satoru's eyes grew hideously large and round, and he literally fell off his chair, dropping on the floor while, suddenly, Neena, Emi and Takako all craned their similarly shocked heads in from the next room, the television still yapping in the background. "... hey," Sayoko frowned. "What the hell's with that reaction, now?"

    "H-H-Hold on there, Sayoko!" he wailed as he clung to her legs, struggling to get back up on wobbly knees. "S-Sit down, I'll call the ambulance right now, just tells us where are you hurt--"

    She growled, pulled him back up by his shirt, and lovingly applied her crushing fist on his skull, making his eyes pop up. "You moron! I'm serious here, will you stop clowning around?! That goes for all of you as well!" she roared back at the other three women, who stared on at her in sheer disbelief. "Gimme some credit, what I've done to ever give you the impression I only care about cash!"

    "The... The sex, the clothes and the liquor don't count, you get those through money, so..." Takako managed to stutter.

    Sayoko groaned. "What have I done to deserve this...? Listen, I've got something to confess, and you'd better save your shock for it, since it's an actual big one. I... Well, I'm not really Bizen Sayoko! That's not my birth name!"

    Emi, Satoru, Takako and Neena all just glared on at her.

    "... and the surprise is...?" the bespectacled beauty of the group said after a beat.

    Sayoko ground her teeth together. "I give that much of a shady impression, huh...?"

    "Don't be offended, chere, but eez true, you're obveeously zee keend who eez, how should we say..." Neena doubted.

    "Completely making everything about yourself up so you don't have to suffer the consequences of all the shit you've tried to leave behind," the short haired bombshell finished the idea for her.

    The blonde smiled. "Mais oui! Took zee words right out my mouth...!"

    Sayoko facepalmed. "Believe me, you have no idea! I... I'm actually a goddess, and my name is Urd..."

    Neena frowned. "Oh, pleeze, Sayoko-chan...!"

    "Even for your standards, this joke's lame," Takako snorted.

    Emi raised an eyebrow. "You don't sound drunk, so what's the deal? You haven't started doing drugs, have you? That shit'll ruin you quite badly, Sayoko-chan."

    "Drugs?! No way!" Satoru gasped.

    "I'm not on drugs!" Sayoko roared. "I'm a goddess, for real!"

    "Yeah, sure thing, goddess of scammers, maybe," Takako said.

    "And of uncontrolled libido," Emi smirked.

    "Goddess of debts, eef you ask moi..." Neena giggled, covering her mouth with a hand.

    "Well, to be technical, I'm half goddess, half demon," Urd admitted.

    "Only half?" Satoru asked.

    Sayoko glared at them again. "... yes. Only half. And now I'm going to meet my little sister, who has just... dropped by in the city. She's just a kid, so..." She stared at the large thought balloon suddenly hovering over the heads of her roommates/lovers, showing a younger version of herself covered in tattoos and chugging a large bottle of vodka, and then high kicked it, scattering them in all directions. "She's not like that, imbeciles! She's bratty, prudish, and a complete gearhead nerd...!"

    "Alright, now I know you're bullshitting us!" Takako barked. "No way anyone like that could be related to you! And what's with that whole goddess shit, are you so full of yourself now that--?!"

    Then she, Emi, Neena and Satoru all just squeezed together into a huge eyed ball of mutual shocked hugs, as Sayoko had just made a finger gun motion and, without the slightest warning, simply blown a hole through the closest wall with a blast she'd just shot from her hand.

    Urd sighed, then smoothed down her very short, tight red skirt with the still smoking hand. "As I was saying," she said, "my baby sister, Skuld, has just moved into the city, well, into one of the four academies, to be exact. And I'm going to have to pay her a visit. I figure I'll have no choice but introducing the lot of you to her and her... friends, so I'm just going to ask you, and only once, that you come along and try to be as civilized as possible around them..."
     
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  13. OverMaster

    OverMaster Send me money. I need money

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    The Hedgehog's Dilemma.

    "I think," Ritsuko sighed, then blew on her cup of steaming hot coffee, "that Shinji is going through the so-called Hedgehog's Dilemma."

    "Oh," Misato said, "you mean the one where your games keep getting more and more repetitive and shallow, and your character cast grows filled with lazy recolors and ridiculous additions, and your fanbase turns so toxic that it just turns everyone sane off?"

    Ritsuko glared at her. "You're such a nerd. What happened to you?"

    "Hey, videogames are the only thing I can bond over with Asuka-chan...!"
     
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  14. OverMaster

    OverMaster Send me money. I need money

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    Yashahime.

    "Kotaro-kun," Kagome-san smiled, gently extending the small bundle towards him. "This is Moroha-chan, your little sister!"

    Kotaro's nose twitched, he blinked in surprise, and then looked carefully at the bundle. Amidst the blankets, a tiny face looked back at him, and small furry ears moved in the middle of black hair.

    Kotaro pulled back as if a snake had just bitten him. "But Dad's been dead for years...!"

    "I went back down the well to meet him again while he still was alive, of course," his mother explained.

    "But-- But, what the heck, you ALREADY were with him back then...!"

    Kagome blushed and hide her smile behind a hand, thinking back of that night well spent with Inuyasha taking her from behind as the younger Kagome kissed her.

    Kotaro blinked in confusion at his mother's sudden distraction, all the while cradling the baby awkwardly. "Hey, Mom. What gives? Somehow, I don't like what you're doing right now..."

    Harumi sighed and patted his shoulder. "Just be thankful the author's past his stage of slavishly copying Darkenning-sama, Kotaro-kun. Otherwise you'd be the father...!"
     
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  15. OverMaster

    OverMaster Send me money. I need money

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    If you Push Enough.

    "Itou-san," a familiar voice said. "Itou-san, please wake up."

    He didn't really want to, so at first Makoto refused to obey. Yet soon he felt a sharp slap across the face, and that was his cue to realize that, maybe, he'd better do as told.

    Not that he could see much when he opened his eyes. The room he was in was fairly dark, and he only could see two otlines standing before several others. His hands and legs were tied together behind his back, and he felt a large, warm mass right behind him. These people, whoever they were, were standing... above him? It seemed like he was in some sort of hole, and--

    Oh, no. Oh no no no.

    "Itou-san," another familiar voice said, almost flatly. "You really shouldn't have done that. We like to think we're agreeable people. We aren't especially fond of our fathers' businesses, any more than you are about your's. Still, we can't deny what we are, I guess. Looks like that, in the end, we take after them, as much as you take after yours."

    Makoto heard a loud, furious muffled sound, and he rolled his eyes back enough as to see his father, just as bound as himself, back to back with him in the hole.

    "Onodera-san... both Onodera-sans..." the first voice considered sadly, yet also with a dangerous edge about it. "And Chitoge-san, and Kirino-san, and Gokou-san, and all the others... you really, really shouldn't have done that to them, Itou-san..."

    Makoto could hear Tomaru cursing his name even under the gag, and his blood froze in his veins. Someone turned a light on, and he could see Kosaka Kyosuke and Ichijou Raku, both pale and hollow eyed, standing around the hole, surrounded both by scowling policemen and by tattooed, scruffy looking men in fine suits. As if dressed for a funeral.

    Raku leaned down towards their classmate, and his eerily detached words sealed their fate. "You really shouldn't have played on both sides of the fence."
     
  16. OverMaster

    OverMaster Send me money. I need money

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    I Thought I Taw a...

    "Sakurako," Misa said. "I know you've always liked them, I know you're even more into them now that you want to connect with Chachamaru, but... you really should stop bringing so many cats home."

    "Hmmmm?" Shiina hummed, petting the head of her newest pet. "Why do you say that?"

    Misa took a deep breath. "Guess," was all she said, still standing on the doorstep along the tall, well armed black haired amazon in the golden bustier and star spangled bottoms.

    The Cheetah looked up from Sakurako's lap and hissed.
     
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  17. OverMaster

    OverMaster Send me money. I need money

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    Double Standard.

    "I still think it's creepy," Rito mumbled over the lunch the five of them were sharing. "Imagine their genders are reverted, and Sensei is a girl and they're boys. What would you think of their situation then?"

    Itoshiki, Saber, Shirou and Keiichi all looked at him in horror.

    ---

    "You... You lost ALL THE COMMAND SEALS YOU WERE LEFT?!" Rin gasped, bewildered. "How the hell, Emiya?!"

    Shirou winced. "It's a long story, but I had stop Saber from killing most of a classroom somehow...!"
     
  18. OverMaster

    OverMaster Send me money. I need money

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    The Living and the Dead.

    "You're friends of Negi, aren't you?" he asked.

    The fight, if you could call it that, had been short enough. Most of the Servants were fairly unimpressed it had been that fast and easy. Was this truly the villain of this era, the scourge of civilization from their Masters' time? The ultimate embodiment of crime and pestilence in the world past their own epochs?

    He looked so frail now, hanging upside down from the ceiling of the old, abandoned factory. All of his men scattered around the floor, unconscious.

    Yet he grinned, and there was something about his inverted grin that even Gilles' perverse smile, and Mephistopheles' twisted smirk, couldn't quite match. It was difficult to say exactly what, but to some degree, they all felt it, even if nobody would comment on it. Certainly not Mordred, who simply glowered from a corner.

    "We should kill him," she finally said, through the obscuring helmet.

    "Oh, Negi'll be so sad to hear that," the white faced man said. "But yes, of course you should. Which one's gonna do the deed, then?"

    "Nobody will be killing you," Ritsuka snapped, while Ritsuko just looked up and down at the curious, lanky dangling form.

    "Ah," the Joker said. "But that's just because YOU are here."

    "A pretty bold assumption from you," Edison growled quietly. "How can you tell? You've known us for exactly how long, now? Ten minutes?"

    "There's not much that I need to see through, not when I'm looking at a bunch of obvious archetypes," the clown giggled mischievously. Jack caressed her knives antsily. "I've known you all since I was a child. Even if that childhood's forgotten now. You aren't even human. Just shades from fairy tales, reflections of something that never existed, or that existed in a different way. Pretenders, all. Don't be surprised I can tell. I once knew one like you, ya know. A girl, she's gone now..."

    Gilgamesh chuckled and walked casually to him, placing the tip of a sword between his eyes despite Ritsuka's pleading glare. "Pretenders all, I will agree, but two!" he said as Enkidu hung silently right behind him. "Remember that well, mad prattling dog! You're just fortunate your blood's all too filthy to stain the weapons of the King of Heroes!"

    "Weeeell, I always was a lucky little darling..." the Joker sing-sang, swinging slightly back and forth. "Congratulations then, heroes and myths and legends. Congrats, you dazzling larger than life glories! Even past your time, even in a world that doesn't belong to you, and over which you shouldn't have any rights to, you've still succeeded on stomping a clown down! Truly a resounding success, if not for the bomb..."

    "Which bomb?" Ritsuka blinked, growing alarmed.

    "Why, the bomb that just took half of the city off," the Joker explained.

    Mordred looked out the factory's open front door. "There's been no explosion!"

    "Of course not, since the bomb didn't go off," the Joker said, as if explaining things to very slow children. "But not thanks to you."

    And then the large, black, living shadow quietly rose from the other end of the room, startling everyone but the Joker. It extended a powerful hand forward, and threw something under the Joker. It was a large device shaped like a colorful clown, its head shattered, a timer frozen at 0:02 still between its hands.

    "Well, you really rushed here from the Gotham Plaza, you truly must be out of breath now!" the other clown told the tall creature of the night with false sympathy, before simply giving the assembled Servants, mankind's finest, a weary, jaded look. "Begone, ghosts," he blandly said. "Nobody took your eras away from you. Leave ours for us."

    ---

    "We really, really should have killed him," Mordred insisted as they walked out of the factory.

    "I know," Raikou said, simply at Ritsuka's oddly drooping back.

    "Now I realize what's so wrong about that smile," Jason mused aloud, his arms folded behind his own back. "It's the fact that it's on the face of someone who is actually alive, right here and now."

    "It's not a very funny punchline," Tamamo said bitterly, and everyone had to agree.
     
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2021
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  19. OverMaster

    OverMaster Send me money. I need money

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    Unequally Redo of Healer.

    Finally, the young man sighed.

    "No," he said, shaking his head. "Sorry, but I can't go. Please leave already."

    "Are you sure?" Negi asked sympathetically. "We could help you start all over again. And we'll need a healer until we find Konoka-san, and even then, I'm sure you'll keep on being useful, so you don't have to feel like--"

    "It's not that," Keyaru interrupted. "I know. You're all nice people... well, except you, Tsukuyomi. You're the first good people I've seen for years, and so-- You really shouldn't stay in this country any longer. Go anywhere else in Mundus Magicus, but please, never come back here. I owe you that much. Thanks for everything, for all that's worth."

    So they left, in a sad mood, on the horses they had been given.

    "I just hope he finds happiness somehow," Negi said after a while.

    "I'm not sure he deserves that anymore," Chisame opined, "but I hope he gets closure and rest all the same."

    "He's a bad judge of character anyway," Tsukuyomi said. "Come on, he couldn't tell Bakarina-han was evil too?"

    Catarina began shivering to herself while Mary just squeezed her shoulder comfortingly and gave Tsukuyomi a pleading look.
     
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  20. OverMaster

    OverMaster Send me money. I need money

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    Waking the Sleeping Beauty.

    "S-So, what can we do?" Ayaka stammered. "Nothing's working! But we need Asuna-san! I mean, Negi-sensei needs her! Right now!"

    The Joker hummed and stroke his long chin down. "Injecting Joker Venom into her might give her the necessary jolt..."

    Sailor Uranus stared at him. "You sure you ain't still in the other side, Mistah Jay?"

    "Goodness, no! Creating a perfect world full of happiness for everyone? When I think they were using my talents to try and achieve that goal, I shudder...!" the clown prince cringed.

    Sailor Mars sighed. "Remind me again, we're supposed to be the good guys, right?"

    "Yes. Yes, we are!" Ayaka said adamantly, clutching her hands on Asuna's crystal coffin and biting on her lower lip. "Of course we are! Well, except Joker-san, Tsukuyomi-san and Saeki-senpai, they're our evil allies of convenience."

    Saeki blinked. "What have I done of late to even deserve that?"

    "That's my line!" Haruna gasped. "When did I graduate to a good girl?!"

    "Hey, Usagi-san," Makie told Sailor Moon. "What if you use that Silver Crystal Plot Device Wand on her?"

    "I've only used it so far to blast evil things dead!" Usagi protested. "Also, please don't say my real name around homicidal maniacs, okay?!"

    Unfazed, Makie looked at Saber next. "Please use your Excalibur on her then..."

    "I think you don't quite grasp the difference between strictly lethal weapon and all purpose tool quite yet!" Saber protested, pointing at the stoic Saber next to her. "Besides, this is the Saber you wish to address, not me!"

    Artoria exhaled deeply. "How long did we fight together, Makie-san...?"

    "Sorry, Saber-san!" she apologized meekly. "The resemblance's too much!"

    "Skuld?" Yuuna looked at her roommate hopefully.

    "I'm thinking, I'm thinking!" Skuld said frantically. "My plans used to hinge around this part actually happening, so I never made contingencies to stop it...!"

    "You will not stop it regardless," a cold voice said from behind them, and a collective chill ran up their spines.

    They turned their heads around and sure enough, now he stood there, wrapped in a concealing cloak and long coat of blackness, extending an ominous hand towards them. Even as the sounds of battle roared in the close distance, his voice was clearly audible, regal and impossing.

    The Mage of the Beginning. Power itself given shape.

    "I was just passing by," the Joker said, for once feeling a certain dread himself, even as Mary pulled the stunned Catarina against herself, and Kotaro stumbled to stand before Nodoka with a vicious, yet weary growl.

    "Even all of you..." the avatar of Ialda Baoth said, every word deep and grim, "will not prevent this from happening. You, Heroic Spirits, are just fading shades from a dead past, running on the last legs of all too mortal Masters. And the rest of you are just children and riff raff. Your luck has ran out. Embrace death, and perhaps you will be allowed in my paradise."

    There was an all too familiar cry of sharp pain coming from above, and Chisame, Louise, Natsumi, Yue, Ayaka, Touko, Haruka, Misa, Misora and Sakura all paralyzed in terror.

    "Ala Rubra, your allies, and this person's son are falling at the feet of my creations and their allied forces as we speak," the shadowy figure moved slowly towards them, over the rocky, broken ground. Setsuna breathed tiredly and stepped in line with Mana and the red and blue Sabers, closing a formation. Itoshiki, for once afraid of death, stared into the hood, as if recognizing, only he of all those present, the face within, it only adding to his shock. Nekane braced herself and prepared her staff. "You have to see the signs for what they are. Your struggle is hopeless. I am more powerful than the whole of this world I created, and those of you who are alien to it cannot compare, either."

    "Well, yes, about that," Chao said, remaining the most calm of them. "On the subject of our worlds, which you have just linked like this-ne. I realize you've been out of commission for too long, Grandfather, but do you know what happens when anyone opens a rift in reality anywhere in the world, threatening the whole planet with magical destruction, but without blowing it up right off the bat?"

    The hidden face, somehow, gave an impression of frowning. "What?"

    And then, from below, from the besieged Mahora below, a sizzling stream of heat flew up, and hit him, sending the Mage flying several dozens of feet back.

    Chao smirked impishly as a large figure in majestic red and blue flew up, slowly enough as to make everyone present swoon, even after everything that had just happened. "Superman happens," she said.

    Along with him, making their way onto the huge platform, more of them came up. An all armored defender, an iron man, a living war machine. Another, bearing the Man of Steel's red cape and a humongous metal hammer. A black haired Amazon, holding in her arms an upset long haired gentleman whom Rin and Luvia regarded with absolute surprise. A petite girl glowing in emerald, the brightest light coming from her tight right fist. Also, a--

    "My little bittersweet pumpin pie!" Deadpool cried.

    "Ah!" Nekane teared up. "Wade, you came for me!"

    "P-Professor...?" Rin gulped as Wonder Woman set the man she had been carrying on the floor, and then trained her sword on the now standing Lifemaker. "What are you--"

    "There'll be plenty of time to address that later, Tohsaka!" Waver Velvet barked angrily, before taking a casual look at one of the gigantic figures standing around the perplexed Fujimaru twins, and doing a wild take that left him momentarily mute.

    "This," the Lifemaker said, now facing the heroes of Earth even as his people massacred those from the World of Magic, "changes nothing but the moment of your demise. I would have gone for you as well, after finishing my duties here."

    "We'd rather just get done with it right here and now," the Batman growled, closing lines around Setsuna's group along Black Panther, Black Canary, Green Arrow, Wildcat and Magical Patissier. "The sooner, the better."

    "Oh, that's just my Bats, the darkness of my eyes, the cherry of my pie," the Joker chuckled. "I don't know how I didn't see this com--"

    "What the hell are you doing here?"

    "I stand at the middle of my creation," their godlike common foe said, power crackling around him, even as dead shapes rose circling him, "and it gives me power to dwarf even yours. Tell me, child of the stars," he told the living legend at the head of them all. "Even you have weaknesses. Are you aware of the greatest of them all?"

    "All too well, But you just said it yourself," Superman said. "That changes nothing."

    And he zoomed directly at him, swinging his mighty fist.
     
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  21. OverMaster

    OverMaster Send me money. I need money

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    You Don't Act Like You.

    "So we wouldn't be left without a Kuro-chan, huh..." Haruna smirked, looking down.

    Avenger's Master frowned. "The name is Chloe, peasant."

    "Ah ha ha, that's funny," Yuuna commented. "And Kuro-chan didn't like to be called Chloe..."

    "I guess you aren't that much like her, are you?" Sakurako cooed, running her hands theough the hair of the annoyed Kuro. Or Chloe. "For starters, she wasn't made to kill and replace Illya-chan, but, um.. what was Kuro-chan's origin, again?"

    "Did she ever actually explain it?" Ayaka wondered. "I don't believe she did..."

    "Don't look at me, I never paid attention when she was talking," Chisame said.

    "I think she was literally born from her universe's Illya-chan, wasn't she?" Makie asked.

    "Like, she's her sister's daughter? Given birth by her? Gross..." Madoka grimaced.

    "Well, other than the appearances, there must be something both of you are alike at," Haruna said, patting herself once on a knee and examining the new tiny terror.

    "Must it be that way?" complained Misa. "I think I like this one better..."

    "You're all creepy," Chloe said after another moment. "But at least not as scary as boys, I suppose."

    "Well, that's a start of sorts," Yuuna guessed. "Let's bring her to Emiya-senpai and see what's her take on him..."
     
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  22. OverMaster

    OverMaster Send me money. I need money

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    Goodbye, Dad.

    Nagi smiled sadly. "Negi," he said. "Thank you. But, all the same... we can't stay together for long. I'm sorry."

    The boy blinked several times, stunned out of his mind. "Eh..?! But why, Father?! We've driven the Mage of the Beginning out of you and--!"

    "I know," the man shook his head. "But, all the same... Negi, I never told anyone anything, but shortly before going to confront Ialda, I took a medical test. I hadn't been feeling all that well... I'm dying, Negi. I have cancer. That freak inside of me was the thing keeping me alive this whole time..."

    "Oh," Negi said very quietly, growing rather pale. And then, he brightened at an idea. "But, there's always a way...!"

    ---

    "It's the best I could do, unless you wanted me to put his brain into Sigel's body instead," Skuld explained as the (still emotionlessly looking, but somewhat clearly shocked) Banpei unit stared at its spindly hands. "And you didn't want that to happen to either your father or Sigel, did you?"

    Negi sweatdropped, then stared at Sigel, who was frowning and empathically bopping a large stick on the ground. Then, he shook his head at Skuld, sheepish.

    ---

    Nagi ended up marrying Chachamaru, which Eva wasn't all too happy about.
     
  23. OverMaster

    OverMaster Send me money. I need money

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    Replacement.

    "Jiiiii... Jiiiiiiiii..." Maria said.

    Itoshiki-sensei looked back over his shoulder. "What are you doing, Taro-kun?" he asked, even though he suspected it all too well.

    "The girls told Maria to do this," said the young girl standing behind his desk. "Since Matoi-chan hasn't come back from Deep Loving Chisame-san. Chiri-chan ended up saying we needed someone to fill the slot. Jiiiiiiiii."

    The pale man sighed. "And why you out of all of them?"

    "None of us knows how to make the sound, so we have to speak it. Jiiiiiiii," Maria jiiiiiied. "That leaves Meru-chan out. Kaere-chan threatened to sue if we forced her, Nami-chan's too normal, Ai-chan's become your Main Girl so she's out too, and--"

    Itoshiki raised a hand tiredly. "I think I understand now."

    "Jiiiiiiiiiii," Maria said, nodding.

    From where she was working on the next desk, a frowning Mafuyu-sensei had enough of this, grabbed a nearby broom, and poked Maria on a side of her head, pushing her out the door and out of the teachers' shared office.
     
  24. OverMaster

    OverMaster Send me money. I need money

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    Asuna's Second Job.

    It was a mere matter of pride.

    As ever.

    "Oh, you're back at last," Konoka observed calmly, from where she was working on her homework. "It was a really close call this time, Asuna. You know you can't beat the Dorm Mother..."

    The other girl sighed, plopping down on the couch. "I'm not going to break the curfew, Konoka. Don't you worry."

    Sakura-senpai had been surprised to see her there during her first day. She'd asked what she was doing there, dressed like that, and what else could Asuna do? She had to say the truth, lest misunderstanding wacky hijinx would ensue. Besides, she just couldn't ever think of good lies.

    "But... Neesan doesn't have to use you like that," Senpai had said then, "I can do the chores just fine, and--"

    "Please, no. It wasn't her idea, I... I actually had to convince her. I need the money, but I can't be seen doing a second job near the dorms, so I had to come here..."

    "What do you need money for? I can lend you whatever you need..."

    And Asuna shook her head stubbornly, because again, pride.

    "Here you go, Sensei," she sighed, placing the wrapped gift in his hands, now. "You'd better enjoy it."

    He blinked, and then smiled pleasantly at her. "Thank you very much, Asuna. You didn't have to bother..."

    Konoka wouldn't push her luck, then or back then, mentioning how she'd never gone quite that far for Takahata-sensei's gifts before, as she was doing for Negi-kun now.

    Because Asuna-chan's huge pride, for all of how wonderful it was, also was a terrible fearsome thing whenever offended.
     
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  25. Threadmarks: Book of the Unequal, Part One
    OverMaster

    OverMaster Send me money. I need money

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    Book of the Unequal.

    "Yes, what do you want?" Hasegawa Chisame asked the girl standing on their doorstep.

    Said smelly, short, black haired young woman in glasses rasped delicately into a fist. "I'm here to interview Negi-sensei for the book I'm writing."

    As if on cue, Negi Springfield peeked out of the next room, blinking his large brown eyes curiously. "Oh, Fukawa-san!" the young boy said. "Good evening! Isn't a bit late to visit, though? Is something wrong?"

    "I received a pass from the Honnouji Student Council to visit you over the night, as this is a matter of importance, Sensei," Touko gave a small smug smile as she stepped into the apartment, Chisame closing after her with a groan. "You've become so relevant, Kiryuin-sama has commissioned your biography for our local editorial house!"

    A subtle, yet foreboding presence seemed to materialize from right behind Chisame then, blinking twice at the newcomer. "The Black School has its own editorial, seriously? I thought they burned books, not publish them!"

    "Ahh!" Touko gasped, springing back. "You were here?!"

    Tsunetsuki Matoi nodded. "Yes, always."

    Touko scowled, even as Negi and a mildly interested Hakase Satomi also stepped into the living room. "W-Well, of course you'd be... And of course the student Council has its own editorial house! It's published obligatory texts like the Honnouji Obedience Mannuals, the Encyclopaedia of Campus Discipline, the--"

    "Right, we should've seen that coming," Chisame sighed. "You've written all of those, too?"

    "Ew, no," the novelist winced. "I'm not as much of a mercenary! But Kiryuin-sama thought my talents would be bset applied for a subject of this nature, and well, I... I would have to agree with her for once." She gave Negi a rare, nervous smile, the kind she'd never apply on anyone but him or Byakuya. "I know you're busy right now, Sensei, but you c-could spend a single night sharing your experiences for posterity, right?"

    Negi rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "To tell you the truth, Fukawa-san, things have changed so much, so fast, that I don't know if now I can do that or not..."

    "Well, there's not a single soul in the four schools that doesn't know you're a mage now," the writer noted, "and you'll need as much publicity as possible if you want to succeed with this Red Venus prohect of yours, so..."

    "Blue Mars," Matoi dryly said. "You haven't even started and you're already altering the facts."

    "Who says I haven't started?" Touko snapped irritably, showing her the small stack of sheets she'd brought with herself within a manila folder. "This is what I've put together so far, from all of my personal experiences with Sensei since the festival! But now, now I want to hear his side of the story as well!"

    Chisame squinted at said sheets. "Why didn't you just write all of that in your computer like a normal person?"

    Touko gritted her teeth at her. "If you need to be explained, you'd never understand the soul of a true writer anyway!"

    "What kind of answer is that?" Chisame frowned. "What are you, eighty? Why can't you type on a computer?"

    "I'd be glad to submit all of my technical findings and applications on the Project for publishing after review by a panel of my peers," Satomi offered with a wry proud smirk. "But I must warn you, you'll have to trump the offers I've received from Lexcorp Books and Stagg Publishing..."

    Chisame blinked. "The what of what now?"

    Touko scowled at the petite scientist. "That's not the kind of material I'm interested on writing, not my audience is on reading, Hayate-san."

    "Hakase," Matoi corrected now. "I don't like her either, but I never got her name wrong..."

    "Please, don't fight, don't be like that," Negi chuckled slightly, sitting down. "Okay, Fukawa-san, I suppose you're right, the nature of our mission from now on means we hardly can keep on being this secretive..."

    Chisame pulled a chair. "I must tell you, Asakura's going to be pissed off. She made a big effort to hold herself back from questioning you until you had fully recovered, and now you're just going to take her exclusive away from her?"

    "That's right," an upset voice said from right outside their front door. "I can't believe it, the nerve of you, Negi-kun!"

    Negi took pause, then blinked. "Asakura-san?"

    "She's had this room bugged since we came back, after all," Matoi said casually, pulling a tablecloth up and showing the small device attached to the table's third leg.

    "What the-?! And you knew this the whole time and you never told us?!" Chisame gaped.

    "What can I say? We're sort of kindred spirits when it comes to spying on others, I felt sympathy for her!" Matoi explained.

    Negi breathed out and walked for the door. "You're right, Kazumi-san, I should've thought of you before. I'm sure we can arrange something, though..."
     
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  26. OverMaster

    OverMaster Send me money. I need money

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    Somewhere, a Paleontologist is being Beaten Up.

    "So, as you can see, all of your suppositions, derived from rural upbringing and casual consumption of Steven Spielberg entertainment, were wrong," Hakase said, cutting the Power Point presentation off. "THIS is how dinosaurs looked like."

    "..." Negi said. And then, resolute and cold, "No."

    "I beg your pardon?" Hakase said.

    "I... I refuse your interpretation!" Negi cried. "I'm sure in my heart that dinosaurs actually looked cool and awesome, and not like giant chickens!"

    "Scientific fact doesn't concern itself with mere subjective trivialities," Satomi lectured, "Dinosaurs had feathers, and that's it!"

    Negi pouted, then turned around abruptly.

    ---

    "-- so just tell him that you're sorry and that he's right!" Chisame told the quietly sobbing girl clinging to her sleeve. "For the love of God's, been threee weeks already, are you two still not over that?!"

    "Noooo!" Hakase wailed. "I won't ever deny the truth, but I cannot continue suffering his indifference either...!"

    In the end, Ayaka had to pay them for a trip to the Savage Land. Nobody, not even Hakase, had the heart to tell Negi those were all biologically altered dinosaurs from their very creation, so he took it as a victory and forgave her.
     
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  27. OverMaster

    OverMaster Send me money. I need money

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    Biological Advantages.

    "Well, I'm leaving," Setsuna said, placing her hand on the doorknob. "Anything else you need me to buy?"

    Konoka waved a hand. "No, no, Setchan. Don't worry! We'll be fine here."

    Setsuna smiled. "Thank you, Oj-- Kono-chan," she said, and then left the Mikado Manor.

    Konoka waited a few moments afterwards, and then sighed very deeply. "I wish I'd been born a bird, too," she mused aloud, sitting on Setsuna's eggs to incubate them, while cradling her large pregnant belly, which felt oh so heavy...

    "I agree," deadpanned Chisame, Ayaka, Misa, Louise, Natsumi, Yue and Touko at the same time, each similarly holding her own belly.
     
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  28. Threadmarks: Crisis on Infinite Apartments, Part Four
    OverMaster

    OverMaster Send me money. I need money

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    Apartment Thirteen:

    It'd be easy, for a casual visitor-- and it has happened to the girls more than once-- to assume Dr. Doom himself lives in apartment 13. In truth, it's Doombot-san.

    Whenever Doctor Doom needs to take an embarrassing defeat, star in a ridiculous promo comic for toothpaste or some such nonsense, or appear in a crappy movie, he'll summon Doombot-san there and let him deal with it.

    Not that you should ever tell Doombot-san about this, of course. As part of his programming, he IS convinced he is THE real Victor Von Doom, and will angrily grab people by the throat whenever asked why he's living in an apartment building for second stringers and has-beens then.

    He only accepts his reality whenever the real Doctor Doom comes to run checkups on him, and then he'll just become docile and silent until his master leaves.

    All the same, whenever the real Doom comes-- or it might be another Doombot, who can tell-- we lock ourselves up until he's gone. Just in case.

    Apartment Fourteen:

    I don't like talking about Mineta.

    Apartment Fifteen:

    The keepers live in the last apartment. They're an old married couple and, like all old married couples, constantly bitch and groan at each other but have nowhere else to go. They're also old fashioned as hell, not helped by how they literally are from the BC Gaul.

    She's uppity and snobby above her station, and he's a bore of a man. I think they were/play the leaders of some Barbarian village or somesuch, and so you can't expect much modern refinement from them, or for them to know how to fix anything that gets broken in the building; that's what Hakase is here for. On the plus side, that means we get to pay less rent than the others,so I suppose we can't complain too much.

    That's the kind of people I have to live with. So in truth, I'd even prefer to live in a dorm building full with stupid nosy schoolgirls.

    But that's the way reality works. You've got to separate fiction-- and so, the job-- from it.
     
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  29. OverMaster

    OverMaster Send me money. I need money

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    A Romantic at Heart.

    "See, this is what I don't get," he grumbled, playing with his food. "If a fantasy storybook, or a movie, whatever, has two lovers dying together, and then their bodies being fused together for all eternity, that's such a beautiful tragedy, so moving, and everyone will say it's wonderful..."

    Then he glanced angrily over the dinning area's main table. "But I kill two lovers, and fuse their corpses together, and put them in a park, and everyone says it's disgusting and sick!"

    Two-Face glared quietly, chewing slowly. "I don't know, Joker, I really don't know. I guess you actually might be onto something there..."
     
  30. OverMaster

    OverMaster Send me money. I need money

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    United Nations.

    Misora sighed. "So... welcome to Ala Alba, Laura-san. These are Ayanami Rei-san, our mole from NERV, Charlotte Dunois-san, our mole from France, Rani VIII-san, our mole from Atlas Academy, Tara Markov-san, our mole from Markovia, Lingyin Huan-san, our mole from China, Shiori-san, our mole from Cosmo Entelecheia, and Cecilia Alcott-san, our mole from England. You'll be working along them in the Mole Department."

    Laura blinked. "I... I'm not a mole, however."

    "Sure thing, and we aren't either," Lingyin deadpanned. "We just happen to be here because of mere shared coincidences that have nothing to do with the Blue Mars project."

    "... what she said," Rei said.

    Laura blinked again. "Very well. It's good to know that... I suppose..."

    "I have been a non-mole longer than anyone else," Shiori-san meekly pointed out, "so I'm afraid I have seniority rights in the decision taking of this department, Bodewig-san. But I'm sure that you'll get promoted soon enough, you look like the hardworking type..."
     
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