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[RANMA/TO ARU] To Aru Hourou no Budouka - Kuroko's Corner

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Alhazred23, May 11, 2015.

  1. Alhazred23

    Alhazred23 Oops! Did i do that?

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    This will be where i post uncensored sections/chapters of my Ranma 1/2 / To Aru Majutsu no Index / Black Lagoon crossover fic, "To Aru Hourou no Budouka," because parts of this fic could potentially get me banned at SpaceBattles. The main thread can be found here. Since i probably won't be posting the whole fic in this thread and i will be looking over at that thread far more often, please feel free to respond in that thread to posts in this one (preferably without incriminating quotes, please ^_^;...)
     
    Last edited: May 11, 2015
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  2. Alhazred23

    Alhazred23 Oops! Did i do that?

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    (Censored version can be found here.)

    Ranma almost said, 'Do what?' but after a mental review of the position they were in he revised this to, "This ain't what it looks like!" Twisting around in search of other witnesses, Ranma threw caution to the wind and tried to scissor an arm under Ryouga's chest to pry her away. Crap! If Nabiki gets a picture of this-

    A tremor of alarm sang through Ryouga's prone form as she put two and two together and came up with scandal. Ranma received another long, damning look at Ryouga's unmentionables as she shot from his lap like a loosed arrow, back-flipping over the parking lot to land in front of the rusting warehouse doors.

    But the nasty surprises just kept coming for the the fang-toothed girl as a spotlight flared above her head to reveal that her skirt had gotten hiked up around her knees while they were fighting. A volcanic blush darkened Ryouga's wan complexion as she exploded away once more, this time through the doors with the booming crash of a giant steel drum.

    "Oh, for fucks' sake!" If Ryouga was anywhere near as bad as her brother then it was probably already too late, but Ranma stubbornly sprang to his feet and was about to give chase when a exclamation from behind made him turn.

    "Hey!" their unnamed watcher shouted, one hand cupping his mouth while the other swung high in an underarm toss. "It looks like you need this more than me!"

    Hopping up to catch the convenience store bag as it cleared the fence, Ranma peeked inside to find two plastic-wrapped rice balls and a liter carton of milk. He looked back at the man in inquiry.

    "There's nothing better for cooling your head," the stranger explained, beaming with assurance as he gave Ranma a thumbs up. "Good luck, man! You got a live one there!"

    "...Yeah, no kidding," Ranma grumbled, nodding an incredulous 'thank you' as he headed for the hole in the door. Upon entering the warehouse he immediately noticed that several of the lamps dotting the ceiling of the huge building were now turned on as well.

    Huh, must be automatic, he mused, following the lighted path past two familiar-looking purple vans to a second gaping hole, this one in the rear wall of the building. From here, the trail zigged past a tipped-over dumpster, zagged down a dark alley, vaulted a trashed second-story balcony and barreled through the concrete wall of another abandoned building.

    Slowing as he sensed a single person up ahead, Ranma glanced over his shoulder at the rubble strewn hallway behind him. Man, I can't believe that worked! Since his quarry didn't seem to be moving anymore Ranma continued his approach more cautiously, hiding his presence as best he could lest she bolt again.

    When Ranma reached the end of the hall he caught a glimpse of Ryouga's profile around the side of a support pillar, one of several that flanked the main entrance of what had probably been a swanky office building. Ryouga was stooped over her bag, perhaps searching for something, when Ranma's luck ran out and she sensed him as well.

    An exaggerated flinch of shock sent something flying from Ryouga's hand as she spun to face him. The small object fluttered briefly into a shaft of moonlight before Ryouga snatched it from the air and dove behind the cover of the pillar. "S-S-S-Saotome!?" she warbled in disbelief, her voice echoing through the cavernous entry hall.

    Good grief! Holding his burning face in his hands, Ranma desperately wished he could unsee the crumpled scrap of plain, white cloth that was now seared into his mind's eye. What, was she gonna put on something more 'exciting?!' Who does that?! Even worse, Ranma got the distinct impression that he'd interrupted her before she could finish.

    After a couple fruitless swallows to wet his throat, Ranma rasped a reedy, "Y-yeah," so Ryouga could hear that he was still waiting outside. Maybe she would be kind enough to tell him what she wanted him to do now, because he sure as hell didn't know. Remembering the milk, he sat down cross-legged and opened it to take a sip.

    The scratch of slippers on tile signaled that Ryouga was on the move again, circling around so she wasn't in his direct line of sight. Ranma almost turned away out of courtesy, but reconsidered when she began edging along the wall toward his back; she could just be coming to kill him, after all. When she was nearly upon him he reached around the corner to set the milk and rice balls in her path.

    "I- huh?" Stopping in her tracks, Ryouga hovered in bewilderment over the peace offering-slash-distraction. "When did you-"

    "That guy had 'em," Ranma supplied. "Um... It's good milk."

    "Ah..."

    A pregnant silence descended once more as Ryouga loomed just out of view like a headsman at the chopping block, waiting for him to stick his neck out. Ranma was finally able to release the breath he was holding when he felt the thump of Ryouga's back hitting the wall beside him, and a moment later her hand reached around the corner to pick up the milk carton.

    "...It is good milk," Ryouga agreed, sounding as uncertain as he about what happened next.

    Questing around for a lifeline, Ranma train of thought meandered back to Ryouga's unfinished story. Martial arts seemed like a safe enough topic, and it was probably the only one he could talk about at length. "So... how long have you been training that girl?" he asked tentatively. "She seemed pretty green when I met her."

    "She hadn't even started back then," Ryouga scoffed. "I started training her right after... er... well, I guess it's been about six months now." By her inane chuckle, she was probably remembering the duel where he'd trounced her brother. "I think she's making good progress- though I'm not exactly a master myself, so she's probably way behind where she could be." Despite the self-recrimination Ryouga's voice warmed with pride at student's potential.

    "Eh, it sounds like you're doing alright," Ranma encouraged; being able to trade blows with someone on Ryouga's level was quite the feat, even if it was all you could do to defend yourself. "You are probably going too easy on her, though. When my pop taught me to take a hit he just showed me what to do and then hit me 'till I got it right."

    "You say that like it's an improvement," Ryouga dismissed with a huff of annoyance. "I would've loved to have that much when I was learning, but bears aren't big on explanations."

    Sweat beaded on Ranma's temple as he wondered how he should respond to that. From his own recent experience it was blatantly untrue, but he suspected that the bears Ryouga was talking about hadn't exactly been trying to 'teach' her anything.

    "Meh, maybe I am going too easy on her," Ryouga admitted, her hand dropping down again to exchange the milk carton for a rice ball. "I did let her put it off for another week."

    Ranma gave a snort of skepticism.

    "She said she wanted to learn more about using her energy first!" Ryouga justified hotly. "Anyway, I finally put my foot down when we got to this sleepy little farming village in the Australian Andes..."



    (For the record, Ryouga was actually trying to trade down on the titillation scale, but he hasn't met Misaka Mikoto yet, so he doesn't know her, 'wear the boxers over the panties,' trick. Unfortunately, it just seemed too cheesy to tap the old, 'both of them go for the rice ball at the same time,' trope just for the extra troll value...)
     
    Last edited: Jun 3, 2015
  3. Simonbob

    Simonbob Really? You don't say.

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    I don't think that's anywhere near NSFW.

    Or, at least, it shouldn't be. That's nothing.

    Fun story, though. You get everybody's personality right.
     
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  4. Alhazred23

    Alhazred23 Oops! Did i do that?

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    Aye, but believe it or not i've actually gotten banned from SB before for posting something on a similar level. Better safe than sorry, i guess...

    The more i write them though, the more tempting it becomes to actually ship Ranma and Ryouga; i need to hurry up and get Ryouga some other love interests who aren't already spoken for. ^_^;
     
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  5. Prince Charon

    Prince Charon Just zis guy, you know?

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    You wouldn't be the only one, as that happens a lot, as long as you aren't favored by a mod.
     
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  6. ryune

    ryune Experienced.

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    The sad thing is that Ranma and Ryouga are probably the only characters that have much chemistry in the mid game. The only couple that had better chemistry with Ranma were those two clones of his girl side (And doesn't that just say something about him). Ukyo kind of got Friend Zoned hard, Shampoo is... Well she kind of a bitch that can't really be trusted and the relationship with Akane always seemed closer to a sibling bond most of the time rather than anything romantic. It's really kind of sad in the same way that Checkers is the best parent that isn't dead.
     
  7. WizardTwo

    WizardTwo Not too sore, are you?

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    You should probably get this moved to the SFW section unless you intend to get much more risque soon.

    Keep in mind that our SFW section allows content which is a LOT more realistic than SB. You can post about panties and innuendo just fine over there. In fact, you can even imply explicit sex, so long as you don't describe the act itself.
     
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  8. Alhazred23

    Alhazred23 Oops! Did i do that?

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    Given some of the things that i've seen infractions get dropped for at SB and SV, i just assume that there is no such thing as a 'good' Mod interaction, since even asking for them to check something preemptively seems like drawing the Eye of Sauron down upon yourself until they get bored of waiting for you to slip up...

    Hmm... well, perhaps Ranma's interactions with the girls will develop differently if they're all convinced from the outset that they're competing with a girl who Ranma is always eager to spend time with (even if he always insists their dates are penalties for 'challenges'), who he seems to respect as a fighter (in his own arrogant way), and who can kick all their asses six ways from Sunday...

    Actually, that doesn't sound like a recipe for making those relationships any more pleasant for anyone involved... -_-;

    Ah; i wasn't sure where the line was so i assumed the worst. This is very unlikely to get any more explicit than Suiren, which doesn't have any sex in it at all despite practically oozing with innuendo. If that's fine here, how would i go about getting it moved?
     
    Last edited: May 12, 2015
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  9. WizardTwo

    WizardTwo Not too sore, are you?

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    Just ask a a mod. The rules are written out explicitly and carefully in the rules post in announcements and rules at the top of the board. You won't accidentally step on any landmines here, the rules are clear, as are their consequences. You get sex in normal young adult novels and we're fine with things up to that level in the SFW section.

    Remember if you DO go over the line, the only punishment is that a mod will move your thread back over here.
     
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  10. ryune

    ryune Experienced.

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    Sadly, for Ukyo and Shampoo this is just a recipe for "TRY HARDER" with them. Which admittedly works for just about all of their other challenges in the R1/2 world where if you train hard enough your face will eventually win against the brick wall. Akane, on the other hand, was possibly the most attractive to him because she never tried all that hard. She never had that air of palatable desperation that both Ukyo and Shampoo seemed to exude every now and then but she is also notably the only one of the trio with nothing to lose outside of her pride.

    You are certainly right though. Having who they see as a competitor who is actually making relationship progress (whether either of them acknowledge it as such) would make them distinctly more aggressive, one way or another.
     
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  11. Alhazred23

    Alhazred23 Oops! Did i do that?

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    Meh, well i'm not planning to do a total retread of the Ranma 1/2 plot, so the biggest fiancee problem i need to worry about at the moment is what Akane's damage will be when Ranma comes home (late at night? the next day?) all hot and bothered about his 'date.'

    Edit: Although... since Ryouga is not Akane and probably wouldn't be in any real physical danger, when the other fiancees show up Ranma might actually be willing to throw the Hibiki 'girl' under the bus and not make it clear to Ukyou and Shampoo that they aren't going out, since that might take some of the heat off of him while they deal with 'her.'
     
    Last edited: May 12, 2015
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  12. Lyxi

    Lyxi Versed in the lewd.

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    I'm surprised that you expected grief over this and not the underage kissing scenes....
     
  13. Alhazred23

    Alhazred23 Oops! Did i do that?

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    Hmm... well, the likelihood of drawing the ire of the mods seems to somewhat correlate to the likelihood that potential readers would be squicked by what is depicted and run off to find one. Since kisses can be spun such that they don't appear designed as gratuitous fanservice (as opposed to, say, the comedic nudity that Ranma is rife with, or the scenes with Kuroko in Railgun which most definitely are gratuitous fanservice), i took a calculated risk on Ruiko's yuri kisses. I also tried to make her seem more awkward and impulsive than licentious.

    Edit: Also, i've noticed someone with a giant, bolded Mod name hanging out in the thread once in a while but i haven't been banned yet, so hopefully that's a good sign.
     
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  14. Lyxi

    Lyxi Versed in the lewd.

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    Eh, you should just not post on SB. You do have everything backed up somewhere else, right?
     
  15. Alhazred23

    Alhazred23 Oops! Did i do that?

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    I try to keep a running backup of my story posts, though its a bit of a pain as i'm constantly going back to edit the live versions. Chapters 1-3 are also posted at FF.net.
     
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  16. a2znut

    a2znut Needs more handholding. [Forever DM]

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    Hopefully, 'Shenanigans' would happen here like they did for Suiren :D
     
  17. Alhazred23

    Alhazred23 Oops! Did i do that?

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    <shrug> I won't rule it out, though that story had an advantage in the 'shenanigans' department in that the central MacGuffin required intimate physical contact in order to activate. Time travel, on the other hand, tends to be a bit less touchy-feely- and while martial artists do like to reach out and touch people on occasion, the ones in Ranma often try to do so with sufficient force that the other party is obliged to dodge... ^_^;
     
    Last edited: May 13, 2015
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  18. a2znut

    a2znut Needs more handholding. [Forever DM]

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    Still need to make sure that Uiharu is wearing her panties.
     
  19. Alhazred23

    Alhazred23 Oops! Did i do that?

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    This is indeed something that Ruiko must do whenever possible. Mentioning that pair does raise an interesting issue though: while canon Kuroko is clearly... Kuroko, Misaka is the resident tsundere (thundere?), and Ruiko could at least be mistaken for a flirty tease with yuri goggles on... Uiharu might legitimately be not interested in romance at all yet. That'd be kind of frustrating for Ruiko, even on top of the whole 'she might not be into girls' thing.
     
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  20. a2znut

    a2znut Needs more handholding. [Forever DM]

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    [​IMG]

    "I'm just checking!"
     
  21. Alhazred23

    Alhazred23 Oops! Did i do that?

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    Well, i did say at least; anime characters sometimes have oddly defined personal boundaries, though Ruiko tends to be a somewhat egregious offender in that area. ^_^;

    What works as a comedic yuri tease in the show might be harder to pull off in a fun way if Ruiko actually has intentions and Kazari actually isn't interested. If i wrote angsty lemons, that is where i'd say that something regrettable might happen between frustrated Ruiko and frustrated Kuroko that makes everything really strained for reasons that Mikoto and Kazari cannot comprehend, but that would probably be a different story...
     
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  22. fitzgerald

    fitzgerald Experienced.

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    It pretty much says that the instant Ranma Saotome meet another Fork of himself he went "Bro you're awesome," and his Forks went "Bro you're awesome."

    Ryouga in canon would odds on try and beat the living daylights out of his own Fork, Akane would have big issues, and Nabiki most likely would get vicious quick.
     
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  23. Alhazred23

    Alhazred23 Oops! Did i do that?

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    It's a little doubtful that two Ryougas could remain in each other's presence long enough to fight. Heck, there could be dozens of them running around, and the only way anyone would be able to tell would be if some started learning martial arts techniques that the others didn't know...
     
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  24. Alhazred23

    Alhazred23 Oops! Did i do that?

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    (No censoring this time; just mirroring this from SB because the two sections that will follow this will both have parts that will appear here but not there, so having a tiny gap in between would be silly...)



    "She said she wanted to learn more about using her energy first!" Ryouga justified hotly. "Anyway, I finally put my foot down when we got to this sleepy little farming village in the Australian Andes..."

    -----

    "...That one," Ryouga pronounced, nodding at one of the figures browsing the fruit stand across the street.

    Turning, Ruiko traced his line of sight to the young lady in question. She was perhaps in her early teens, if a bit on the small side, and her dark hair was gathered up in a bun behind a pretty, almond-shaped face that lacked the laborer's tan sported by most of the locals. However, it was her striking mode of dress that had caught Ryouga's eye, since-

    "Ryouga-kun, I think that's a maid," Ruiko declared, echoing his own assessment. "Like, she's wearing a frilly apron and white gloves and everything!" she went on, looking up to favor him with a dubious frown. "You seriously want me to pick a fight with a maid?"

    "I can understand your concern," Ryouga confirmed gravely. Only time and distance allowed him to contain a shudder as he recalled his last run-in with a dreaded house maid; he still woke up some nights hearing that horrible, horrible laugh. "I think it should be fine though, as long as we don't do anything stupid like threatening her master."

    Ruiko's sigh betrayed serious doubts as to whether he truly understood what he asking of her, but she dutifully followed when Ryouga began picking his way through the lively farmers' market. Once Ruiko got him pointed in the right direction they were able to intercept the maid before she disappeared into the crowd.

    "(Excuse me, Miss?)" Ryouga called out in stilted Spanish. When the girl stopped to look askance at him Ryouga sketched a bow of greeting. "(Hello! I was wondering, could you tell me where this is?)" The familiar words had just tumbled out, but Ryouga decided it was a reasonably good ice-breaker.

    Facing him, the maid waved around with one grocery-laden arm. "(This is the avenue of San Cristóbal, sir.)" As Ruiko appeared at his elbow she gave them a measuring look, taking in their large packs and travel-worn clothes. "(Do you need assistance in finding the Visitor Center?)" she offered politely.

    "(That would be very helpful,)" Ryouga gushed, "(but if you have a moment, I have another request.)" He gestured at himself and Ruiko. "(We are... traveling fighters?)" This drew looks of alarm from several people within earshot and Ryouga held up his hands for calm. "(Ah! That is the wrong word! I mean, we use... fighting arts?)"

    A browned youth holding a soccer ball came to his rescue. "(Like Bruce Lee?)" the child asked.

    "(Yes, like Bruce Lee!)" Ryouga affirmed. All at once the atmosphere of tension popped like a bubble. Uneasy laughter rippled through the farmers as Ryouga breathed a sigh of relief and took a step back, thrusting his hapless student to the fore.

    Ignoring Ruiko's murmur of inquiry, Ryouga continued. "(There were many things to fight in the jungle but my student does not want to fight animals- including me!)" This garnered another round of chuckles. "(So I would like to find someone else for her to fight.)" Smiling at the maid, he wiggled his eyebrows in invitation.

    Though her expression remained carefully neutral, surprise and interest flickered in the maid's eyes. After some fierce internal debate she took her groceries in one arm and pinched her skirt with the other, dipping into a formal curtsy. "(I am Fabiola Iglesias, a maid of the Lovelace family, one of the Thirteen Great Families of South America.)"

    Thus introduced, Inglesias-san turned to regard the green hills visible past the end of the street. "(My Master, Don Diego Lovelace, employs many fine bodyguards at his hacienda,)" she explained. "(If it pleases, you may accompany me and perhaps find what you seek.)"

    Ryouga returned the courtesy with a deeper bow of his own. "(Thank you. I am Ryouga Hibiki, self-taught warrior of Hung Ga and other fighting arts.)" When Ruiko followed suit he introduced her as well. "(This is my friend and student, Miss Ruiko Saten. We will be in your care.)"

    Something about Ryouga's salutation made Iglesias-san blink and take a second look at him, but it passed without comment. Instead she said, "Then, if I might impose upon you to wait a few moments?" She pointed at one the narrow side streets that sprouted like roots between the tan-stuccoed buildings along the main road.

    As Ryouga nodded and moved to take a seat on a crate near the mouth of the alley Ruiko gave him a disbelieving look. "Wait, you mean she accepted?" she bleated, scurrying to catch up. "What did you say?"

    "Nothing untrue," Ryouga replied with a mysterious smirk. Really, the only whiff of subterfuge he'd engaged in was to protect the modest image that most maids preferred to cultivate, but it was amusing to be the one holding all the cards for a change.



    (The main reason why folks in those parts might be leery of 'Traveling Fighters' would be the fact that they are just over the mountains from Colombia, and FARC guerrillas have been known to cross those mountains on occasion. Also notable is that Fabiola didn't say they could accompany her to the hacienda; Roberta might frown upon receiving unexpected visitors so soon after getting Garcia back...)
     
    Last edited: Jun 3, 2015
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  25. a2znut

    a2znut Needs more handholding. [Forever DM]

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    Fabiola uses a grenade launcher though :V
     
  26. Alhazred23

    Alhazred23 Oops! Did i do that?

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    Nah, Fabiola starts by kicking you in the junk, then pulls out two miniature shotguns, then uses a grenade launcher. As long as Ruiko can beat her before part B, she's golden! ^_^
     
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  27. a2znut

    a2znut Needs more handholding. [Forever DM]

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    The boot knife.
     
  28. Alhazred23

    Alhazred23 Oops! Did i do that?

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    All she needs to do is notice that before Fabiola tries to stick it somewhere unfortunate. ^_^;;;;;;

    Edit: this is supposed to be a friendly fight, though.

    Edit2: That said, i think i feel more sorry for Fabiola than Ruiko in this case...
     
    Last edited: May 14, 2015
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  29. a2znut

    a2znut Needs more handholding. [Forever DM]

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    Though, only two of the people of the Lovelace household knows how to storm the Iranian embassy. (Roberta & Fabiola)

    [​IMG]
     
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  30. Alhazred23

    Alhazred23 Oops! Did i do that?

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    Eh, they aren't going to the hacienda; Fabiola is just getting them away from town so nobody will see her having a fight with tourist and tattle to the Head Matron.
     
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