Regret

“Master, wake... please... This Young Master needs you.”

...

“Master!!! This Young Master needs your support!”

...

“It has been several decades since I’ve deigned to attempt speaking with you Master. I’ve learned much. Even still... This Young Master is leaving. I will travel south; I have cultivated my body eternal; the tenants of the Sect have been less than useful for this Young Master. The Path I travel differs from the Path of the Sect. I will make my own way and grasp the Heavens on my own.”

...

“Master... you yet still sleep?”

...

“Grandfather? Father how do I know if Grandfather can hear me?”

“Do you not feel Him, Lou Tan? Extend your senses.”

“Father! I feel something, it’s warm like Mother’s hugs!”

“Speak Lou Tan, your Grandfather hears.”

...

“Master. Lou Tan has perished... I thought I knew loss... his Mother perished many a decade ago. I am alone once more.”

...

“Master, this may be the last time you hear from me. I thought the South was safe. The Demon Horde has extended its line. I will take up arms against those who would destroy my home... I miss you Father.”

...

“Call upon Him little one. Let Him see you perish. Let the Great Enemy see his apprentice beg for his life.”

“Father... I love you...”

 

My Love,

I know this letter will find you once you awaken. How I wish you stayed with me. Our son needed you... I needed you. Yet, as surely as Mt. Tai reaches the sky, I know that you will join us.

Hopefully... you will find what you were looking for, in this deep sleep.

I know I could not ask you to stop your journey to the Heavens, even if I would have preferred if you could have meandered a little longer with me.

It has been several decades since you entered your sleep. Our son has gone South. I have yet to break through the mortal barrier, I fear that I will yet do so by your awakening.

I can only hope that I will live to see you wake.

Your Wife.

 

I Saw.

By the Heavens did I See.

A thousand thousand worlds...

Suffering untold and Joy unequaled.

The Wheel ever turns upon this Lowly One.

---

I Heard.

Oh, by the Heavens, how I Heard.

Through the Depths of infinite Space

Can’t you Hear it too?

The Wheel is turning once more.

---

I Feel.

I Feel for you.

Live Freely, Let this Lowly One take upon your Sins.

...

I Wake.

 

The consequences were there all along.

I knew them but I never understood.

Loss and sadness overwhelming.

My heart filled with demons beaten yet,

even still Regret filled me.

My Cultivation was coming to a close but

was it worth it?

My Path, my Dao complete.

My heart watching from afar,

unable to interfere, frozen

in shock and fear, grasping

helplessly at any hold it can as it

falls forever into Despair.

I must make amends to those

I hurt, I ruined, I left behind.

But how? Through sacrifice of the self?

My Dao refuses, must I go back on my path,

to limit myself, to spend eternity in solitude as

penance for them?

No, this is but a pebble in my Path,

in my Journey to the Heavens,

A fork in the road.

I will do what I can

to make amends, to repent,

all I can hope

is that when I ascend, my family

my students, everyone

is there with me.

 

My journey began,

the path extant before me

“Why Master Cultivator?”

They asked, I pondered and spoke,

“It costs me nothing to help.”

 

I fight for you,

the broken and defeated,

the slaves and servants,

the farmers and peddlers.

For none else fight for you,

you who are small,

you who are weak,

and you who none else care for.

But I do.

I care, for I have Seen.

I have Seen the joys of a father holding his son for the first time.

I care, for I have Heard.

I have Heard the cries of a mother watch him leave her,

I care, for I have Felt.

I have Felt the regret, knowing all that he loved, is gone.

And so I fight.

I fight unending battles.

Through realms and worlds.

I fight monsters and demons.

I fight sickness and hunger.

I fight...

You who ask me why.

Know this.

You may walk your path lone.

And you may reach your end.

But truly,

was it not others who built that road?

was it not the weak who sustain you?

Do you not then, have the obligation to give back?

Must you take and take forever?

And once you take it all, then what?

...

Come.

Walk along this path with me.

Come and learn.

Learn to See as I do.

Learn to Hear as I do.

Learn to Feel.

So come.

Join me on the Path we can build together.