Reluctant Cultivator in Konoha

[Marlow3]

Kenta just can't catch a break as he accidently started an arms race in his village and both troubles and entertains the people in charge.
Thanks for the chapter

 

[Champjklccmk]

AN:

You can read up to Chapter 37 over at Patreon and Ko-fi!

---

Tenten POV​

Higurashi Tenten knows that she is an experienced Genin, with dozens of C-Rank missions under her belt, along with a few B-Rank and two A-Rank. An unheard-of record for a ninja of her age in a time of peace. However, that means absolutely nothing to her batch of Academy graduates and the one that came after.

A passing rate of 100% was historic enough. Once they stepped onto the field, everyone just stopped keeping track of all the ridiculous feats this generation keeps pulling out of its collective asses.

Case in point, her team is the only one that remains composed entirely of Genin from their class.

With Guy-sensei's misgivings about promoting kids too fast and Neji's insistence that they wait for his cousin, they haven't moved up the ranks yet, whether through the Chunin exam or as a field promotion.

This frustrated her, of course. Who wouldn't be annoyed that they were intentionally being held back? But as she observed the younger teams in front of her, she understood that there was more going on underneath the surface than most were aware of.

Uchiha Sasuke was already well-known as a prodigy back in the academy. However, looking at him now, it was impossible to mistake the presence he exudes.

It was like standing on a beach and watching a storm approach from the horizon.

She's heard a lot about Haruno Sakura, as well. One of two ringleaders of kunoichi-in-training, she was known to brutally beat down her opponents when sparring. A brawler who has earned a reputation for being an unstoppable juggernaut, matched only by her rival, Yamanaka Ino.

Then there was Uzumaki Naruto, the village prankster. He might act like an idiot, but she could tell that he was no slouch. Tenten couldn't even tell if this was really his personality, or if he was just pretending.

Neji couldn't detect the trap on the stairs, after all, which resulted in them getting momentarily ensnared.

Only their exemplary chakra control allowed them to pinpoint the exact areas being affected and break free. The experience had shaken her Hyuga teammate enough to stay put and wait for his clan's heiress, who might just be the singularly most impressive girl her age she's ever met.

Elegant, poised, and deadly. She affected an air of a delicate flower when she was anything but.

Just standing in front of Hyuga Hinata was enough to raise her hackles, and she had stared down full-grown Jonin without flinching. It took everything in Tenten not to either start sending shuriken the girl's way or running for the hills.

How Lee could still joke around with Uzumaki while being so close to this monster beggared belief, but she supposed that he was just that dense.

As if to prove her point, the training-obsessed Taijutsu specialist suddenly turned to the Uchiha with a confident pose and issued a challenge.

"Uchiha Sasuke!" he exclaimed. "I heard that you're quite the prodigy in combat! How'd you like to test yourself against me?"

"No."

The rejection was so swift that it nearly caused everyone whiplash. It was like the single word he uttered had a physical effect on the world, giving everyone an unseen clout on the ear.

"Why not?" Lee yelped.

The boy gave her teammate a look of such supreme annoyance that it made the unflappably cheery ball of sunshine flinch. "In case you forgot, there's an exam going on, and we've already been here a while. I'm not wasting more time catering to some rando's whims." He then made his way around the others and started walking away.

What in the world is a 'rando'? Was it short for 'random'?

"Are you scared you'll lose?" Lee tried again, pointing a finger at the Uchiha's back.

The response was given in a dead, flat tone. "Oooh, I'm so scared. Rather not risk it."

Poor Lee froze in place like a statue. Never before had he been so thoroughly ignored.

Neji's sigh was a combination of embarrassment and annoyance. "Let it go, Lee. You're being childish. I'm sorry about this, Hinata-sama." He bowed toward the girl. "I was afraid he'd be like this."

A gentle smile graced the beautiful girl's lips. "Pay it no mind, Neji-niisan. I know a few who are more eccentric than your teammate."

Why did Tenten get the feeling that she was referring to someone specific? The weapons mistress involuntarily shivered at the thought of someone more embarrassing than Lee during one of his manic episodes.

Speaking of the moron, he seems to have gotten over his petrification and immediately lost his mind.

"I won't be denied!" he cried and rushed Uchiha Sasuke.

Both Hyugas sighed in resignation. Uzumaki started cheering while his pink-haired teammate bonked him over the head. And Hinata's teammates merely exchanged looks of befuddlement.

As for Tenten, there were days when she regretted ever being in a team with a battle-maniac. They were rare, but when they came, the consequences were usually a pain in the butt to deal with.

---

Kenta POV​

Sasuke and Lee were fighting, just like in canon. Of all the events that could be preserved, why this one?

"The green brat's moving pretty well," Tsunade eventually commented once they got over the absurdity of the scene.

I couldn't help but agree. His velocity and acceleration were well-timed. The elbow that missed my friend by a fraction of an inch was a wind-up, but there was no interruption in his inertia. From experience, I knew that pulling off such a move required precise control over one's musculature and chaining motions together.

"He's one of Guy's, isn't he?" Jiraiya postulated.

"Rock Lee," Hiruzen confirmed, nodding as he watched the match unfold. "An exceptional practitioner of the Strong Fist style, he is apparently following in his Jonin-sensei's footsteps with alacrity."

"It's not just that," I added, keeping a close eye on how well the non-cultivator was keeping up with Sasuke, despite the latter clearly holding back. "Lee's one of the few candidates I'm considering for the Fractional-Gate Weave project, along with Might Guy and Kakashi."

The two Sannin regarded me with wide-eyed shock, while the Hokage merely frowned in thought.

"Why?" Tsunade demanded with a scowl. "I've seen the reports. Kakashi and Guy, I can understand. But the kid? You wanna cripple him or something?"

I rolled my eyes in exasperation. "Give me some credit, will ya? I wouldn't suggest anyone for that insane approach if I didn't at least believe they could do it."

"Agreed," the Hokage grunted. "The boy is incapable of performing Ninjutsu or Genjutsu, but has taken to the physical chakra enhancement like a squirrel to a forest. No one else near his age group is as suited to achieving such a feat."

The old man wasn't just talking out of his ass, either. We all saw how Lee nearly baited his opponent into a bad footing with a series of feints. If I didn't know better, I'd think he could see the future with how well those traps were laid.

But I did know better, and the bushy-browed fighter was switching between several pre-planned combos mid-bout. Sometimes, even mid-strike. It's an astonishing display of quick thinking and adaptability.

"He's pushing Sasuke a bit," Jiraiya observed, eyes on the orb. "Speaks well of his grasp on, I wanna say, the third stage?"

"Close," the blonde begrudgingly commented. "Based on his breathing, he's focusing on his heart, lungs, and diaphragm. The way he's gingerly timing his strikes means the bone strengthening isn't in play."

Damn, even I didn't catch that. This woman's medical knowledge and observation are scary good. If Lee's ever going to join the program, it'll have to be after Tsunade gives the green light. Without her participation, we won't have even a snowball's chance in hell of making it happen.

The fight dragged on for another few seconds before Sasuke finally had enough. Without even activating his Sharingan, his hand snaked through Lee's kick and caught the brawler's face. Then, without breaking stride, the Uchiha used his opponent's momentum to throw him out of the orb's frame at high speed.

Hiruzen panned the crystal's view to follow the direction of Lee's flight and showed a boy-sized hole on the street-side-facing wall of the building.

Sasuke had just tossed the Taijutsu specialist out of the exam facility.

Returning the orb's POV to the winner, we were just in time to see him walking away. Naruto chased after him while laughing his face off, and Sakura was cheering as she did the same.

The two fellow clan members were exchanging words before going in different directions. The older Hyuga and Tenten were probably off to fetch Lee. Ami, Shino, and Hinata went to catch up with Team 7.

"Well, that's that." Jiraiya straightened up with a satisfied grin. "Bowlcut did better than I thought he would."

Tsunade snorted. "Too bad he's not getting that promotion to Chunin."

Hiruzen sighed. "Impulsive and reckless. Worth quite a few docked points. A pity."

I didn't say anything, mostly because I agreed, but also because I didn't think any of the Genin from Konoha participating in this exam should get a promotion. Even my friends need a bit more time in the oven, regardless of how powerful they've become.

After all, power alone does not a good leader make. For all the prestige that comes with becoming a Chunin, it's still a position of authority. The only reason why Shikamaru was chosen to get the flak vest in canon was that he showed genuinely good judgment. Not even I can claim to be ready for such a position, and I'm mentally several years older than these kids.

Ironically enough, Sasuke is closest to being worthy of advancement. Hinata is in second place. Unfortunately, the two lacked one essential quality that would have made them ideal for command: a willingness to sacrifice when necessary.

Not letting the people you're in charge of die for something that's not worth the cost is one thing. An unwillingness to consider it at all is entirely different.

There's no doubt that my friends would give their lives for an important mission in a heartbeat. Such a mentality was drilled into our brains from the start. But there will come a day when they'll have to let someone take a step over the ledge. Without the right mentality, making that decision will only destroy them.

"Aren't you being too harsh?" Jiraiya asked. "He passed the staircase simulation trap, along with everything else, didn't he? Not just any Genin can do that. And how many have received field promotion by this point?"

"Don't be an idiot," Tsunade reprimanded her former teammate in a harsh tone. "You know what's at stake with this Chunin exam. Passing anyone with flawed judgment is counter to the message we want to present. The other hidden villages will already be shitting their pants once the gap between our Genin and theirs is exposed. The ones we pass need to be beyond reproach."

The Toad Sannin sighed in despondence. "Yeah, I know. At this rate, none of them are gonna make the cut, though."

"If that ends up being the case," the Hokage said, "then so be it. Just as the other hidden villages will have to put their faith in us, so will we have the burden of showing that we are worthy of that faith. We already have our hands full with the renegade Leaf assets still at large. We can't risk making even more by rushing the next generation."

"Speaking of that," I piped up, as the crystal orb was deactivated. "Anyone care to explain what's up with the field-promoted Chunin? I noticed a lot of them are going into R&D instead of field work."

All three froze for a fraction of a second, which instantly twigged my paranoia. Oh, what fresh hell did I unintentionally ignite?

"A few departments needed extra hands," Tsunade said casually. Too casually. "How'd you learn about that, by the by?"

'By the'… never in the months I've known this woman did I ever hear her talk in such a folksy fashion. Something was definitely up!

"Did you forget that I receive periodic reports about some of the proposals I submit?" I snarked. "What's going on? Are the new Chunin transitioning full-time to research roles or what?"

The two Sannin shot accusatory looks at their teacher.

"Lord Third?" I asked.

Hiruzen gave his students a look of betrayal before turning to me with a resigned face. "I may have encouraged our exam preparatory teams to give your submissions higher consideration for implementation. This inevitably required additional personnel for the new projects. Hence, the reassignments. Rest assured, Kenta-kun, everything is above board."

I blinked, then looked at the crystal orb that previously showed a scene of my friends passing the true screening process of the first test. The item didn't transmit sound, only images, and I already had a general idea of what the sifting elements were going to be. So, I hadn't given it much thought.

With the Hokage's confession combined with Jiraiya's comment about a 'simulation trap,' however, I broke out into a cold sweat.

"How, ah, how many of them did you end up using?" I asked, trying to contain my rising panic.

"Three for the first stage," Hiruzen said, frowning in concern. "Why?"

"It, um, it wouldn't happen to be the visual and sensory snare set I called the Cat's Cradle, would it?" I managed, voice becoming squeakier with every word.

"As a matter of fact," came the slow and deliberate pronouncement of my doom, "it was. So, I ask again, Kenta-kun. Why?"

I swallowed. "Did you, by any chance, read my annotation?"

"We did," Tsunade answered with impatience. "Their effects seemed straightforward enough. So, the team handling the first exam used it. Stop dancing around the issue and just tell us."

"I'm pretty sure I included the section about their stacking effects," I pointed out. "Did you read that part?"

"Of course we did!" Tsunade snapped. "That's why the team chose that set to separate the wheat from the chaff."

"Did you read the part about each piece making the other stronger?" I shot back. "As in, each time it takes effect, it siphons chakra from the affected party, spreads it out, and then creates a cycle of pressurized illusions that inevitably crystallizes?"

"Would you just tell us what it does?!" Jiraiya cut in. "Clearly, there's been some miscommunication if you're this agitated about it."

"It can turn fear into a tangible, solid entity!" I howled. "As in, your nightmares can come to life and rip your face off!"

"Why would you submit something like that for the Chunin exams?!" the Toad Sannin shrieked.

"I wrote down explicit instructions not to use it unless absolutely necessary!" I snapped back.

"How can it do that when it's so easy to escape?" Tsunade demanded. "It was basically an annoyance in our tests!"

"That's the damn trap! You put it somewhere with a lot of shinobi. They get caught, escape, and think that it's a minor irritant, and then, bam!"

"You just made a freaking army killer!"

"Do you think I was being hyperbolic when I included the words 'for reducing large groups' on the damn submission?!"

"We thought it was for whittling down the number of participating Genin!"

"It's meant to counter an invading force!"

"What invading force?!"

"Enough!" the Hokage barked, finally deciding to intervene and stop the increasingly frantic shouting match between Tsunade and me. "Kenta," he said, losing the veneer of a doddering old grandpa and donning the face of Konoha's ruler, "explain how it works, what it does, and how to stop it."

I didn't waste a single word. "Chakra accumulation, tangible illusions, siphon the built-up chakra."

"Can you fix it?"

"Only if I can get to it in time."

"Then go," he ordered.

"Yes, Lord Third!"

My surroundings became a blur as I rushed toward the test center. I took two whole seconds to stop twice, both in service of changing into my temporary ANBU gear. Even in my panicked state, I maintained strict adherence to remaining unobtrusive and bypassed the barriers from a side access.

When I got there, two recently promoted Special Jonin blocked my path. One had spiky hair with a bandage over his nose and the other had a bandana covering his head: Izumo Kamizuki and Kotetsu Hagane. If I had been in a more lighthearted mood, I would have been astonished that they finally broke away from their perpetual Chunin tags.

Unfortunately, I was in a hurry.

"Kirin," I grunted.

"Kodama," Hagane replied.

"Akairo," was my answer.

They stepped aside, allowing me to enter the heart of the system powering the true first stage of the Chunin exams. Several pillars were erected underneath the first floor of the building, covered in free-flowing, ever-changing scripts top to bottom.

Completely ignoring the three largest ones in the center, I made a beeline for a smaller set nestled in the far corner.

As cognizant as I was of preserving the stoic facade of my disguise, it still irritated the ever-loving shit out of me to see the Cat's Cradle used like this. Oh, not improperly. In fact, the diminutive, almost innocent appearance of the three intertwined pillars of the miniature monolith was exactly as it should be.

What disturbed me was its proximity to the Genin, civilians, and our own forces. Not to mention the various delegates from other hidden villages who would undoubtedly have been dragged into the chaos that would have ensued.

From its languidly intermittent pulsing, I could tell that it had not absorbed anywhere near the amount of chakra needed to activate its main function.

However, I didn't breathe freely until I grounded one of its branches into the floor to dissipate the energy it had already gathered.

Unfortunately, with the set being technically part of the first stage, I couldn't just remove it without drawing attention to the fact. There were too many eyes on this event to risk even minor changes.

We'd be accused of cheating, at best. Sabotage, at worst.

Resigned to a few hours of waiting, I remained vigilant in periodically siphoning chakra from the deceptively lethal weapon. One that I had intended to use in case Orochimaru got cute.

"Is it done?" a voice asked from behind me.

Turning around, I saw Kakashi looking uncharacteristically serious. It seems he's been briefed on what had nearly happened.

"For now," I answered in a dead tone. Both because I did feel a bit numb and because my current persona demanded it. "I will need to remain. The Hokage will understand why."

"Understood," he grunted. "We will look into this."

"Please, do."

And he was gone.

I might have taken his last words as a threat, if I didn't know the guy. Someone, somewhere messed up. Could have been me, and if it is my fault, I'd own up to that. However, I was damn sure that I left explicit details on exactly what this time-bomb could do.

That could only mean that either there were issues with the wording or my instructions were tampered with.

Given the circumstances, I'd take the former over the latter.

 

[KoshiroUnohana]

Huh, I smell fuckery afoot. The question is just, Pedosnek or Danzo? I SERIOUSLY doubt it's Danzo. He loves the MCs work and effects on the village way too much to risk alienating him.

Of course, on the extreme opposite side, it could also be Zetsu or Obito. Most likely Zetsu out of those two. Obito is way too much of a blunt instrument.

It could also just be that someone genuinely just fucked up somewhere, but I HIGHLY doubt it.

 

[trashtaker]

Dude genuinely made a demon heart dungeon maker like wtf

 

[Champjklccmk]

AN:

You can read up to Chapter 38 over at Patreon and Ko-fi!

---

Kenta POV​

I had mixed feelings about the changes in the Chunin exams. Compared to the canon screening process, the exam committee certainly went with something a lot more intricate and, at the same time, simple.

Get from point A to point B, where they will then receive additional instructions.

That was it.

Or so the examinees are told.

Those who've managed to make it this far already know the score, of course, and were appropriately vigilant. Most were winnowed pretty early on, and through the most basic traps, at that.

Well, relatively basic.

It's actually getting kind of difficult to keep track of which ones are supposed to be elementary challenges, intermediate, and so on.

Frankly, I was finding it difficult not to attribute all of these changes directly to my influence. Kind of a big-headed thing to even consider, but what else was I supposed to think?

After all, for all the talk of subterfuge that was supposed to be common in our profession, I haven't come across any truly insidious attempts at ensnaring people's minds with stationary methods.

Oh, there were plenty of trip wires and ordinary Rambo-style traps that involve throwing weapons, explosive tags, and even environmental elements like boulders or logs. But none that were intended specifically to mess with people's heads in a passive rather than active manner.

Well, with the exception of the so-called Infinite Tsukuyomi thingamajig, but that's an entirely different thing on its own.

The point is that I'm finding it increasingly hard to ignore how many things happening in Konoha bear at least some resemblance to ideas I've had before that run contrary to how shinobi have been operating for decades. Ideas that, in more than a few cases, I've never submitted, seriously considered, or jotted down.

Especially relevant was Hiruzen finally coming clean about pushing the folks responsible for setting up the exam to implement my submissions. It was a blatant act of favoritism on his part, and an issue that I hadn't thought I'd have to worry about. In hindsight, there were signs that I simply didn't think were all that important at the time.

Now that I am thinking about it, there's no denying the truth.

The first stage of the Chunin exam alone bore the hallmarks of a defensive system I once offhandedly mentioned to Reina and Sayo. One that relied on misleading invaders rather than putting physical obstacles in their way.

I was essentially looking at a watered-down version of a first-level labyrinth for a Dungeon Core-inspired afterthought!

On the one hand, I didn't actually look into the specifics of what the tests were going to be, since none of it would be relevant to my mission. On the other hand, what the hell, man?!

This whole thing has reignited my cooled paranoia of being watched every moment of every day until I remembered my one flaw… Okay, one of my many flaws, but the most pertinent in this specific instance: I can't seem to keep my mouth shut.

Not when I'm lost in thought, anyway.

During missions, I'm locked in, focused only on what needs to be done. I've also gotten into the habit of assuming an entirely different mindset, so that helps.

When relaxed and puttering around with my projects, though?

Yeah, okay. I can see it now.

But even if I own up to this particular, highly specific fault, the whole thing still sucks!

How long have they been keeping track of the shit coming out of my mouth? More importantly, why would they take all of that nonsense seriously?

…

…

…

All right, I can see why they would find simulation traps useful, but the others? What else could they have– the prosthetics… right. Oh, and the chakra reactor and battery prototypes, too, I guess. And the medical patches that ended up saving Kakashi's life.

But, wait, I actually proposed those! Well, in a roundabout way, at least.

Dammit! I've been babbling about all kinds of nonsensical topics over the years, and now I can't remember which ones might have been implemented precisely because I was babbling about them! Most of those should've been thrown in the trash can, where they belong!

I only ever receive updates on projects that I have participated in, but there were tons more that I've never been involved with.

And that's when it hit me.

Have I been doing a tech-uplift this whole time…?

…You know what? I'm just gonna pretend that whatever the R&D department's working on has nothing to do with me. Though, I probably should put in more conscious effort to keep my mouth shut.

With that decided, I returned my attention to the numerous screens mounted on a wall, within a highly secure and dimly lit room.

As for who we were watching, that'd be the Genin taking the exam.

They were currently lumped together in batches composed of three teams, with the members seemingly chosen at random.

Once they received their instructions, they were directed towards one of three doors. These doors would then lead to a different wing of the building filled with its own unique set of illusory challenges.

Some would be obvious, but insistent. Others would be nearly impossible to detect.

Right now, we were observing as these batches traversed a series of hallways, stairways, and rooms designed specifically to be disorientating. Coupled with the Seals that produce a constant buzz of irritating illusions in the background, most of them are quite lost at this point.

It's more than fair to say that this approach to the first stage will give other hidden villages a glimpse into Konoha's new capabilities, but that was fine. Part of the plan, as a matter of fact.

The thing that truly set this first stage apart from the canon version, however, is how mundane it's meant to feel to the participants.

From their point of view, they were just being passed around from one proctor to another. In reality, some of them have been walking around the same room for a few minutes now.

Aside from that, getting to their intended destination is the lowest rung of the ladder. Each Genin is also graded on their speed of completion, reaction, adaptability, general attitude toward the test, and staying calm under pressure.

At least, that's how the Genin from Konoha are graded. I wasn't entirely sure if the other hidden villages have the same scoring system.

I couldn't exactly check if they had clipboards or something since they were in an entirely separate observation room, with their own monitoring screens. Oh! The screens! Were those because of me, too?

No, screens already existed before I was even born.

But weren't they–

Focus, Kenta!

Dammit, I'm gonna need to have an uncomfortable conversation with a few people later. This was really getting to me.

Right now, I needed to see if I could spot Orochimaru or any other scaly threat hidden among the guppies. Something that I originally intended to do from a different, closer position, but the Cat's Cradle necessitated my stay in the security room.

Izumo and Kotetsu were with me, along with a few other Special Jonin and full Jonin. Now and then, I'd pop out to siphon chakra from my mini-monolith just to make sure that it was still dormant before coming back.

The time for me to go again was approaching, and I was getting antsy.

Hidden Sound was definitely here, but none of them looked like the female disguise that the rogue Sannin used in canon. With so many other participating villages, this Chunin exam was particularly crowded, which made surveillance a pain in the neck.

Finally, just as I needed to step out again, familiar faces entered the labyrinth.

Unfortunately, I couldn't stick around. None of the Konoha personnel present were supposed to know who I was under the mask. So, deviating from my established pattern, brief as it may have been, could give away my identity.

As I walked away from the screens, my mind was filled with questions. Why was Shikamaru arguing with Shino? Why did it seem like Ino was teasing Sakura instead of fighting over Sasuke? And why did Hinata look like she was about to murder someone?

There were some strange circumstances surrounding this exam, indeed. Not looking into the specifics of these tests has long become an obviously bad idea.

---

Sakura POV​

She was going to murder Ami.

That's what Haruno Sakura decided after the brat's inability to keep quiet led to the convoluted affair that resulted in her utter humiliation. For the offense of opening her mouth, the punishment would be the most painful death she could devise.

"Look, girls! I bet she's thinking about him again. Kya! Sakura in love is totes adorbs!"

Another vein popped and joined the others on the pink-haired kunoichi's prominent forehead as she contemplated adding one more body next to Ami's. Oh, yes. No one will find them. Even the Inuzuka clan's ninken will have a hard time tracking them down once she's done scattering the pieces around the four corners of the Elemental Nations.

How the hell did they even end up with the Yamanaka bitch, anyway?

Oh, right, because the stupid proctor saw them talking in the waiting room and decided it would be a fantastic idea to put their teams in the same batch. She would have taken literally anyone else. Heck, she'd have taken that trio from Suna, even if they had that creepy boy with the red hair and the gourd!

"Ino, maybe you should lay off for a bit? She looks about ready to kill someone, and I have a feeling I'm next once she's through with you."

And to think she thought for one second that Ami had gotten better since the old days. But, noooo. She's just the same gossipmongering ant that she's always been!

"Relax, Ami. I won our last sparring match, and I'm much stronger now. Just let me have this!"

Sakura would've been a lot more thankful to a certain cryptid for ensuring that she now had the power to prove the smug blonde wrong. A lesson she's looking forward to imparting. Unfortunately, said cryptid was the reason she's being tortured in the first place.

"Look, I'm just saying. We're not even sure if she actually likes Shiozaki."

"That's because I don't!" Sakura shouted. "I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I don't like him! Not like that!"

Ino wasn't deterred, though. "You're just in denial, Sakura. Now that you're no longer going after Sasuke-kun, I'll be cheering you on. Shiozaki's quite the catch!"

"Why don't you go after him then?" the brawler/medic snarked.

"Oh, I couldn't!" the blonde bimbo affected a shy demeanor, looking to the side. "I only belong to Sasuke-kun!"

"You hear tha–"

"I swear, if you finish that sentence, Naruto, I'm going to eviscerate you!"

"*Crunch* Everyone seems really lively! *Crunch*" commented a cheerful voice through a mouthful of chips.

"Ever the eternal optimist," came a bored drawl.

"Better than a thief," someone else commented in a flat tone.

"I'm not a thief!" The bored drawl became an irritated grumble. "We don't even look the same. You have an overcoat, I have a trench coat. They're completely different!"

"The type of clothing is immaterial," was the deadpan comeback. "It is the statement."

"So, what? You're saying you own the brooding, dark avenger look?"

"No. Why? Because that label better describes Uchiha-san. I'm the stoic pillar of our class, repelling emotions like water off a duck's back."

"What was that about a duck's butt?"

Thankfully, someone sensible decided to answer the ridiculous question. "Back, Naruto-kun. He said back, not, um, butt."

"Ah, thanks, Hinata-chan. Were they talking about Sasuke?"

"No, they weren't, you idiot. Stop dawdling and keep up. We're almost there."

Even in Sakura's understandably distracted state, she still noted how tense Sasuke seemed as he berated their blond teammate. Actually, he's been tense since they walked into the building. Unfortunately, she wasn't distracted from a certain someone's incessant babble for long.

"Hmm, now that I look closer, your hair kinda–"

A screech interrupted whatever Naruto was about to say. "Can you shut up about Kenta for one second!"

"I'm just saying, Sakura," the Yamanaka, who hasn't stopped yammering about the boy this whole time, simpered. "He seems partial to girls with long hair. Look at Hinata!" She turned to the Hyuga, who was looking more and more incensed. "How do you keep your locks so thick and healthy, girl? Share your secret! Oh, and can you tell me what's going on between you and Sakura's future boyfriend?"

"He's not my future boyfriend!" was the irate reply.

"He's not her future boyfriend!" Seemingly fed up with the cyclical topic, Hinata finally decided to make her objection known, too.

A round of "Oooooooh!" came from Ino and Ami. The boys wisely decided not to get involved.

"See?" Sakura pointed at the pale-eyed girl in triumph. "Kenta belongs to Hinata!"

"What?" the formerly fierce girl suddenly squeaked like a mouse. "N-no! Tha-that's not true!"

She was immediately subjected to a barrage of flat looks. This time, even the boys couldn't help themselves.

"L-let's just focus on getting to the test site!" Hinata suggested, voice becoming firmer as she spoke. "As Sasuke-san said, it shouldn't be far now."

That's when Naruto piped up. "Uh, doesn't it feel like we should've reached the place by now?"

As one, the group stopped walking and regarded the blond with shock. Then, they started scanning their surroundings.

Everything seemed normal.

Normal walls. Normal floors. Normal rooms. Normal ceiling. Normal conversation with normal people. Totally normal.

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me!" Sasuke spat in annoyance, black tomoe spinning over crimson backdrops.

He then proceeded to look each of them in the eye, and with a rush of fear, Sakura felt the veil over her mind momentarily lifted, and the sluggishness of her thoughts became impossible to ignore.

Sakura cycled her chakra. What she found filled her with dread.

Looking up, she saw Hinata had activated her Byakugan. Usually, her mere presence would have filled the pink-haired girl with a sense of relief. The Hyuga was the best of them. The strongest, with only Kenta being stronger, and only because he's a freak of nature.

Yet, from the way her face contorted, even she was not immune to the same horror coursing through Sakura's veins.

"Shit," Shikamaru cursed, eyes closed in concentration, forehead already slick with sweat.

The others looked no better, and that was when she accepted that she wasn't having a nightmare. Something had invaded their chakra networks.

Whatever it was, it acted like a virus, and it was spreading quickly.

In a fit of desperation, she turned to the Uchiha. "Sasuke?"

The Sharingan's six tomoe were a blur as their eyes met, and for a moment, Sakura felt hope. It was immediately crushed as her teammate spoke with a voice full of disbelief.

"I can't dispel it."

It was at that moment that she knew they were in deep trouble.

---

Kenta POV​

What the fuck could they be seeing?

Having just come back after draining the Cat's Cradle yet again, I missed the first few minutes of the gang's run at the gauntlet. But the scared looks on their faces painted a vivid enough picture, and they did not seem to be having fun.

"Note the reaction of the newest batch on site 3-B," one of the Jonin in the security room said. "They seem to be responding more severely to the infection vectors than expected."

My head turned so fast in their direction, I heard my neck snap.

The what now?

"A consequence of having more developed and robust chakra networks perhaps?" another Jonin asked. "The Genin from Ame and Kusa merely presented dizziness and a reduction in mental acuity."

The first speaker shook his head. "Negative. It's more likely they detected the pathogen markers. From what I've been told, the experience can be quite unpleasant."

I'm sorry, but what the fucking fuck? What pathogens? I didn't know anything about this!

Thankfully, someone else asked a pertinent question, thus saving me from having to break my cover to do just that.

"Hang on!" Izumo spoke up. "Are we seriously using germ warfare on kids, now?"

Several of the other shinobi in the room stiffened at his question, though none of them looked away from the monitors.

"Of course not!" came the previous Jonin's answer, to my profound relief. "It's entirely psychosomatic. They work like Genjutsu that tricks the mind, which then affects the body."

My relief was soundly squashed, and it took everything in me not to react violently to the revelation. I'd already caused a crack in my supposed composure by staring at the man, who had blue highlights in his black hair, for some reason. Any unnecessary questions or comments from me now could totally shatter my disguise.

Still, where did this tactic come from?

"Who came up with that?" Kotetsu came in clutch.

"Those quacks at R&D," blue-highlights said with a grimace. "Believe it or not, we had to talk them down from using some of their wilder ideas. They have this one kid who wanted to use a literal virus bomb for the later stages of the exam."

A… virus bomb?

"You're joking," Izumo said in disgust. "Please tell me you're joking."

"He's not," blue-highlights' partner said, looking equally disturbed. "I swear, they keep coming up with the most messed-up shit. Weapons, traps, even some weird-ass Jutsu. It's like they're competing to outdo the clans by inventing more devastating ways to cause destruction!"

Why was this giving me a bad feeling?

"The worst part is," blue dude added, "most of these ideas are coming from the same graduate class." Shit. "I'm not sure what they've been feeding this new generation, but they're something else!"

I wanted to leave, but I couldn't. I needed to talk to someone right this second, but I had to wait. There were questions that needed asking, but I'm fucking stuck babysitting the world's most dangerous table ornament!

Damn Hiruzen! Damn Sayo and Reina!

There was no fucking way my classmates would have come up with those things on their own. I certainly didn't teach it to them! And my ramblings at school might have been intended to push them to compete with the clan kids in non-traditional ways, but this wasn't what I meant!

I thought they were on the right track. That my civilian-born peers were working on innovative ways to use chakra and what they learned at the academy.

Well, they were certainly doing exactly that. Only, quite a few of them were apparently pouring their energy into more imaginative ways to kill! I hope the supposed adults have a good explanation for letting such projects continue, because I certainly can't think of any way to justify such horrific endeavors.

"So, those examinees are gonna be fine, then?" Kotetsu asked. "You know there are clan heirs with them, don't you, Morai-san?"

"They should be," the now-named Morai said, serious grey eyes framed by blue locks. "All of the infection vectors are meant to dissipate as soon as they leave the test area. Those things are basically tiny chakra constructs."

"We might want to let them know about that part," Izumo cut in. "Uzumaki's about to do something real stupid."

He was right. With my attention back on the screens, I saw Naruto shrouded in his wind armor.

And he looked pissed.