SALLY not SALLY (a broken SI in the Archie Sonic setting)

[Tangent]

She had a penis? Or are you talking about the missing boob?

Click to shrink...

It's the missing boob.

Has anyone invented a good ablative armor to take on the role of skin to protect the rest of their probably-harder-to-replace material from damage? (Who's willing to actually supply it, I mean; Eggman having a design in his noggin doesn't help anyone)

Click to shrink...

Robians can wear clothing and armor. They just usually don't for various reasons.

And Eggman's solution to the issue (when he bothers, given that he tends to treat Robians as disposable units) involves extensive body modification. Such as when he stripped down Mecha Sally to rebuild her as Metal Sally in the comics.

Snively: "Um... Shouldn't you turn the pain receptors off?"

Dr. Robotnik: "Why bother? I'm not going to feel a thing!"

 

[Navrin]

Robians can wear clothing and armor. They just usually don't for various reasons.

Click to shrink...

Not really the same kind of job that I'm thinking of. I'm thinking more along the lines of how paint is used for metal structures/vehicles, but preferably better. (Less tedious, protects against a wider range of damage, etc)

 

[Tangent]

Not really the same kind of job that I'm thinking of. I'm thinking more along the lines of how paint is used for metal structures/vehicles, but preferably better. (Less tedious, protects against a wider range of damage, etc)

Click to shrink...

Oh that - depending on the roboticizer model used, most Robians actually start with that as a default. It used to be the top layer of skin and fur they had as a Mobian,plus whatever they had been wearing at the time. And Peggy is missing more than just that layer...

 

[Tangent]

SALLY not SALLY
Chapter 21
A broken SI fic by Tangent​

---

"Sorry, Rose, but I can't," Peggy Puma stated apologetically as she turned down the sample bottle of flavored cooking oil that I had offered her. "Not that I don't appreciate the thought - I hate the flavor of motor oil as much as any other Robian that still has a sense of taste. Unfortunately, I need a more… robust lube that's less prone towards oxidation and acidification. My filtration systems aren't what they used to be. I can't handle the transition from one type of lube to another anymore."

"Oh…" I hadn't realized that this might be an issue. For some reason I had gotten it into my head that Robians could basically last forever since we were so rugged. But I guess we aren't immune to aging after all…

"Yep! The fat bastard decided to rip out my original Robian filter system and replace it with one designed to lube mecha."

That wasn't what I had been thinking at all! Also, ow! I was wincing just from imagining the pain Peggy must have been put through from that process! I know Eggman doesn't bother shutting off pain receptors!

"Yeah, that had hurt like Hell," Peggy admitted easily. "Not that I could react to the pain at all - not with that stupid program forcing me to serve and obey the tub o' lard. And by that, I mean the original Robotnik, not the one from another Zone that replaced him. It wasn't even necessary at the time - he was just testing if swapping out my lube system with one for a bigger bot would improve my performance enough for him to bother doing it to other large Robians. I've been stuck unable to tolerate anything but synthetic lube that tastes awful ever since."

"That's…"

"Don't get me wrong - I can handle flavored motor oil," Peggy continued. "But it's gotta be motor oil, and it's gotta be synthetic."

"Um…"

"And yes, I'm deliberately talking over you," Peggy pointed out cheerfully. "Have you unnoticed that you basically shut up whenever somebody else is talking? You might want to work on that."

"Hey! I'm half introvert, dammit!" I protested vehemently, turning my head away with a huff of embarrassed frustration even as Peggy started to laugh her ass off.

Jerk.

If she wasn't such a good friend, I'd…

---

In the end, Bernie's samples went over pretty well with the others at Robian in Motion.

Even if only half of the staff and clients had to drink their particular lubricants. And of those, roughly a fifth either couldn't use cooking oils or actually preferred the flavor of motor oil.

"Beep boop, fellow Robians! I hope this day has found you functional and full of purpose!"

I'm pretty sure that Robbie the Rabbit is just a straight up robot. I mean, to be fair, there may be a small chance that he used to be a Mobian, but let's face it, even a heavily damaged and modified Robian still looks enough like the Mobian they used to be to be recognizable. Robbie looks more like the vague idea of a rabbit than like an actual Robian that used to be a rabbit subtype Mobian. Like somebody had just bolted a bunch of boxy parts together in a way that suggested rabbit to whoever built him.

"Beep boop, salutations, [identified] Autumn Rose Acorn! Go, [sports team mention here] Sports team!"

I just leveled a look at Robbie, which he ignored. About the only thing I was sure about Robbie the Rabbit was that he wasn't an Eggman or Snively spybot. Both of them had more pride in their work than this nonsense.

Meh, whatever. We aren't supposed to judge each other in Robians in Motion, so as long as Robbie wasn't actually causing trouble or bothering anybody, I forced myself to let it go.

And hey, I suppose that even robots could use motion therapy sometimes.

Now where was I?

Besides in Robian in Motion on a Tuesday, I mean.

Dammit! I lost my train of thought!

Thanks a lot, Robbie! That might have been important!

---

Somebody in New Mobotropolis placed an order for a baker's dozen of assorted donuts from Hoot Thorntons. Which was weird.

"Isn't there a perfectly serviceable Donut Joe's in New Mobotropolis?" I asked Hoot as he handed me the receipt, manifest, and the box of donuts.

"I know, I know, it's weird to me too," the owl said as he watched me carefully strap the box behind the seat of The Blue Rose. "Either I made a really good impression on somebody there, or Joe managed to piss someone off badly enough to make a point of ordering from out of town just to spite him."

"Takes all types, I guess," I shrugged, then mounted my hoverbike.

Eh, mobiums were mobiums, and I didn't mind doing a small job like this for cheap rather than Hoot having to pay for a truck to deliver just one order of donuts.

Besides, it got me out of town and away from my new stalker for a while.

Robbie the Rabbit was really trying my patience recently.

You know, I wouldn't be particularly bothered by Robbie if I only ever saw him in Robian in Motion and a few other places. He's distinct enough that being noticeable wouldn't be so noticeable if he didn't keep popping up in places I was either traveling to or through more and more for the past few days. It was creepy and a bit off putting.

Especially when I spotted him somewhere where I had no reason to expect him to be, such as walking along the shore of the lake I was riding The Blue Rose over on my way to Mobotropolis.

Okay, enough of this. He's definitely stalking, but I'm pretty sure that I could defend myself from one poorly made robot with semi-functional programming. So, I turned to fly closer to the shore.

"Robbie," I called out as I got close. I stayed out over the water in case he was trying to lure me close to the trees for an ambush. "Why are you following me?'

Wait, was that something big and yellow under the water?

"[Initiate distraction]: Look! An obvious distraction!" Robbie called out.

"Wait, what?" What the Hell was Robbie going on about? What distra…

I was answered before I had even finished the thought as a huge net made of cables and weights shot out of the water below me, entangling me to my hoverbike and anchoring me to…

Another hoverbike emerging from the water? How? The Blue Rose can't do that (it's not submersible). And it wasn't the same model. The front end swept upwards. It was mostly gold with blue accents. And it was being ridden by a purple weasel wearing boots, a vest, a bush-hat…

…and a scuba mask that he was just now taking off? Where the fuck was the air tank!? How did that even work without a breathing tube!?

Wait - not important right now - maybe if I wriggle a bit to try to loosen the net?

"I gotta say, Toots, I don't know why the Doc wants you, but he's payin' me really well, so thanks for being so easily distractable."

"Nack!" I spat out. "Let me go right now!"

"Nah…" he denied calmly, disengaging the tow cable at his end and letting it drop as he fished something out of a pouch.

Okay, I think I can sort of reach the controls…

I barely got my fingers of my left hand around one of the handlebar grips when I noticed a small disc arc through the air and clamp itself to my thigh. There was a spark of electricity and a bit of pain - then a burst of electricity and my entire world was pain!

And then I felt no pain at all as the world faded to silence and blessed darkness…

Spoiler: Robbie the Rabbit

Spoiler: Robbie the Rabbit

Built by Bean the Dynamite, if you must know...

 

[Tangent]

SALLY not SALLY
Chapter 22
A broken SI fic by Tangent​

---

> Primary systems online.
> Optics... Recalibrating… OK.
> Audio receptors... Recalibrating… OK.
> Haptic feedback system… OK.
> Locomotion servos... OK.
> Observation suite... Online.
> Personality core check... Anomalous parameters detected.
> Memory archive check… Fragmented.
> Memory archive reconstruction… incomplete.
> Boot sequence complete.

If I had a mobium for every time I saw that boot up sequence…

Well, I'd have two mobiums, but it's weird that it happened twice.

Ugh… I have a splitting headache. What the heck hit me? What had I been doing?

Scratch that - why am I bundled up like a sushi roll and being hauled through the air on the back of what I can only assume to be somebody else's hoverbike? Because this certainly isn't The Blue Rose.

I tried wriggling a bit. Carefully, mind you - I had no interest in falling off the back of a hoverbike flying at this speed and altitude. I may have been able to fall three stories and bellyflop into a lawn without hurting anything but my pride, but this situation had different variables. I just wanted to see if I could wriggle an arm to where it could be useful…

The answer to which apparently being: No, I could not. Whoever secured me knew what they were doing and my movement was severely restricted. Wrists together behind my back. Ankles together and secured to my wrists. Knees together. Some sort of gag structure strapped into and across my mouth. And I was wrapped up - as previously mentioned - like a sushi roll.

With enough time, effort, and a lack of supervision, I guessed that I might be able to get myself out of these restraints…

Through sheer persistence if for no other reason. I had enough confidence in my own durability to believe that sheer wear and tear would eventually cause my current restraints to fail. I just needed them to fail within a useful window of time.

Y'know, like sometime before Nack turned me over to Dr. Robotnik for the bounty.

Which raised another question: Why was Dr. Robotnik so interested in capturing me that he was willing to offer a bounty for my capture? I mean, sure, most of the Freedom Fighters and several of Eggman's other enemies also have bounties that would-be bounty hunters sometimes go for, but why set one up for me?

And why Nack (and possibly the rest of the Hooligans) and not Lien-Da or some of the other Dark Egg Legion elites?

Okay, that was a dumb question. He didn't use them because he doesn't trust them with anything they might be able to turn against him in a useful manner. The Hooligans don't have that issue.

So, what is it about me, specifically, that Dr. Eggman considers to be important enough to capture but too… whatever… to entrust to the Dark Egg Legion?

…

I'm drawing a blank here, unless it's an ego thing and he just wants to find out why I didn't automatically obey him. Which is dumb.

I chewed on the gag mostly for something else to do while trying to escape and figure out why this was happening. I mean, sure, I had vague memories from Sally about having been captured by Nack before and slowly being able to talk herself into a situation she had been able to take advantage of and escape. But given how overboard my gag was, it was clear to me that Nack remembered that failure all too keenly himself and wasn't willing to risk a repeat by listening to me.

Which, okay, way to be a badass, Sis, but damn it was proving to be a pain in the ass now.

Okay, I don't see the side car attachment on this side of the Marvelous Queen (which didn't mean that the other side car wasn't attached either - gotta keep that in mind). I also didn't see or hear The Blue Rose, nor any conversation. So either Bark and Bean had their own rides or Nack was doing this mission solo.

Robbie the Rabbit being part of the mission didn't prove anything - he could have been bought as a mission expense, either Nack or Bean might have built him, or he could have just been an incredibly unfortunate Robian with a severe Ship of Theseus issue and Cave Johnson as a mechanic…

Okay, put a pin in that one for a while, as it's not worth worrying about.

---

We had been flying west for a while now, having left the mountains and valleys of the Great Forest behind in favor of rolling hills, grasslands, recovering farmland, and occasional grove, village, small town, or shattered ruins. Past the vast, broken ruins of the former Overlander capitol of Megalopolis (there were other Overlander cities, but Megalopolis was the one Dr. Robotnik had made a point of rendering uninhabitable) and past what I assumed from the sheer size to be Lake Michigan.

Okay, for all I knew it could have been either Lake Erie or Lake Ontario Instead - I will not claim to be an expert in judging scale while trussed up and being hauled behind the seat of a hoverbike like a hunter's prize, but we were flying more west than north, meaning that had likely been Lake Michigan.

Eventually, the Marvelous Queen swerved to the right and angled down towards some location I couldn't see just yet because I was facing to the left. Not that it was a great mystery for long. I mean, there was the Eggmobile (or rather an Eggmobile as I think the one we commandeered on our way out of the Death Egg II was still parked in the New Mobotropolis impound lot) being guarded by a swatbot. Some other vehicles that gave off a sort of Mad Max or Car Wars aesthetic, only in bubblegum pop colors…

Oh my God, when did the Care Bears go punk?

Oh, and there were some regular vehicles there too - the ones I had mentioned were just the standouts.

The sign on the building identified the place as The Blank Stare Bar 'n' Grill. The outside lights were dim and flickering. The inside was a bizarre mix of boisterous laughter and melancholy shrouded in a smokey haze that was half burnt cooking and half anti-smoking add. And Nack just walked right on in with me over his shoulder as if none of the tough customers and…

Oh my God! Those were knock-off Care Bears! Candy colored fur, images on their bellies, and everything!

Okay, the leather jackets, cigarettes, and alcohol were definitely off brand, but this was Mobius Prime. What else would I expect?

"I see that you were successful, Nack," I heard Dr. Robotnik before I saw him. He was sitting at a corner table flanked by a pair of swatbot bodyguards, with a literal pile of questionable food on his plate. Mostly finished, from the look of things, but he was still eating. Or at least had been before Nack plopped me onto the table like a sack of potatoes.

"I trust that you have the other half of our payment?" Nack asked as he casually leaned against one of the tall seats until one of the staff hurried over with a booster seat. Mind you, I had figured that either Overlanders or larger Mobians were part of the regular customer base anyway due to the size of some of the tables.

"After I see what condition she's in, Nack," Dr. Robotnik admonished. "I'm not paying full price for damaged goods when the contract specified that she be captured intact."

"Yeah yeah, I get ya," Nack huffed at the implication, but cut ties binding the tarp I was wrapped in and unfurled it, rolling me right into a platter of gravy covered hashbrowns, sauce covered ribs, and other greasy and not at all healthy foods.

Dude, you're going to get as fat as your predecessor if you keep eating like this, I thought as I glared at Dr. Robotnik and utterly failed to spontaneously develop telepathy to convey my scorn.

Probably just as well, as I'm sure that the terror I was feeling right now would have also gone through.

"There ya go, Doc: One Robian lookalike of the Princess; no damage; trussed up and ready to go," Nack proclaimed as he…

DID HE JUST PAT MY ASS!?

The assholes laughed as I immediately started flopping around like a fish as I ineffectually attempted to attack Nack while my wrists and ankles were still tied firmly to each other behind my back.

"As feisty as your counterpart, I see," Dr. Dobotnik declared and I glared at him again. "Very well, Nack, I will take this as proof that she is sufficiently undamaged. Swatbot 7742, pay the weasel. Swatbot 6647, pick up Mecha Sally. We're leaving."

 

[Nobodym8]

Something is up with the text color. I'm in dark mode fyi

 

[Tangent]

Something is up with the text color. I'm in dark mode fyi

Click to shrink...

Did that fix it? I had some issues posting it and had to pick a text color, but that seems to have resolved itself, so I put it back on default.

 

[Navrin]

Suggestions:

or rather an Eggbobile

Click to shrink...

Eggmobile

was still parked in the New Mobotorpolis impound

Click to shrink...

Mobotropolis

Mind you, Ihad

Click to shrink...

Add space between I and had.
End of suggestions

I get the feeling that adding additional communication equipment is going to be a high priority for Autumn Rose now. Maybe a good radio.

 

[Tangent]

Station of canon?

What station of canon?

SALLY not SALLY
Chapter 23
A broken SI fic by Tangent​

---

"I see that you've acquired that weird Robian that looks like Princess Sally," Lien-Da commented just after I saw her peek into the robotics lab I was secured in and then lean nonchalantly against the door frame.

"The Mecha Sally, you mean," Dr. Robotnik huffed dismissively as he finished double checking the restraints of the God damned Robian Service Seat that he had ordered the swatbot to secure me in. It was burgundy and industrial grey, just like the one in the hospital, and unlike the one in the hospital…

"Test: one…" Dr. Robotnik stated blandly as he hit a switch.

"HngnNGnnGnNg!" PAIN! pain! pAin! paiN! PaIn! PAIN!

"Pain inducers seem to be functional…"

OhgodithurtssomuchIcan'ttellwho'stalkingwhereamIwhydoesithurtsomuchmommyI'mhurt!

And then the eternity of agonizing pain stopped so abruptly that I slumped and my head rolled to one side as my consciousness swam unsteadily in my head.

It had been just like a switch had been flipped off and the pain just wasn't there anymore - which, of course, was exactly what had happened.

Lien-Da had the grace to look disturbed for a moment, but only for just that moment before resuming her normal resting bitchface. "Is there an actual point to that? I mean, I could understand it if that actually was the Princess - tormenting your enemies when you have them in your clutches is half the fun. But this is just a copy."

Bitch, when I get out of this, I'm gonna slap you so hard that…

…

Okay, still having a bit of trouble with the thinky-thinky after all that pain.

"Actually, if I'm right (and I probably am), this is the original Princess Sally."

"So the other one is a fake?" Lien-Da asked.

"No," Dr. Robotnik denied. "She is also the original."

"Are you going to start making sense any time soon?" Lien-Da snarked.

"I ran an… Let's call it an experiment… a few weeks ago," Dr. Robotnik explained. "One that went very wrong and had produced some unexpected anomalous results. This Mecha Sally was one of them."

You mean you goofed up with the World Roboticizer and the Genesis Wave Device, but you aren't gonna explain either of those to Lien-Da because you don't want her to know about what you almost did before Sonic stopped you.

"If you're right," Lien-Da noted.

"If I'm right, yes," Dr. Robotnik agreed.

"Anyway, i just thought that you'd be interested in knowing that Snively has been in contact with Regina Ferrum again and is trying to keep it a secret," Lien-Da reported in an off-hand manner.

"I'll be dealing with Snively soon enough," Dr. Robotnik said dismissively. "Now, since you seem to have nothing better to do than bother me and try to fish for information, grab a rag and clean off Mecha Sally here. She still has food on her from when Nack delivered her to me."

Lien-Da glared at Dr. Robotnik, no doubt furious about being put to such a menial task when she's the current Grandmaster of the Dark Egg Legion.

Well, sucks to be you, you tool…

---

"Interesting…" Dr. Robotnik commented as he checked various reading on the equipment he hooked me up to. "There are definitely traces of Genesis Wave Energy in your system. Between that and the fact that your Zone resonance matches Mobius Prime, you are indeed the original Princess Sally Alicia Acorn. You must have popped in right when I activated the World Roboticizer."

That's not quite what happened, you demented goofball, but sure - let's go with that.

"Of course, Sonic had to somehow show up anyway despite not existing in the glorious new Mobius I made. And naturally screwed up so badly that he ended up pulling a resonance echo of the Sally you had been forward into this iteration."

Oh, God, is he going to speculate and hypothesize, or is he just going to prattle on and feed his own ego!? Just shut up already! I get it! Your Ego makes the Death Egg look small!

"It must really burn your gears," Dr. Robotnik commented. "To have left all your friends behind in that other iteration of the world. To have some blue freak just swoop on in and take your world away to replace it with ours…"

Wait? That's your angle!? Buddy, you don't know me at all!

"And to have no place here, because there's already a Princess Sally. And she's just as real as you, and has everything that could have been yours."

Get a clue, you fruitloop! I'm not you! God! Sally and I resolved that on the first day, you jackass!

"Well, fret not!" OhGod, he's going into his sales pitch. "For I, Dr. Julian Ivo Robotnik, will give you the ability to take back everything the other Sally took from you! And you will do it as one of my generals! As my Metal Sally!"

NO!

Nononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononono!

No fucking way in Hell!

I know what would have happened that day! I know what Metal Sally is and what becoming her means! From all the memories I inherited from Tangent, I know what that will do to me!

Somebody!

Anybody!

Save me!

I NEED A HERO!

I wept in relief when the alarms sounded and Dr. Robotnik rushed off to handle whatever situation turned up.

And then I struggled harder than ever before, straining my body past its limits in a desperate attempt to get out of this God damned chair before he came back!

---

I don't know how long I struggled to get out of that chair. The damn thing was very sturdy and both it and the restraints built into it were designed to hold Robians.

WHUMP!

What I did know was that I absolutely did NOT want to still be here when Dr. Robotnik returned!

There was a series of gunfire and explosions in the distance that I didn't really pay much of any attention to as I tried to twist my way out of the restraints.

Twenty percent. That was the threshold. A Robian could lose up to twenty percent of their original body and, as long as the result would be medically safe, still be restored to their Mobian state. I knew that. Sally knew that. Anyone with any experience at all in restoring Robians to Mobians knew that. And Dr. Robotnik certainly knew that.

More gunfire. More explosions. Maybe the Dark Egg Legion finally decided to risk betraying Dr. Robotnik?

Whatever - not important right now!

Because I also know that twenty percent is all that will be left of my original Robian body if I get rebuilt as Metal Sally! Not twenty percent gone - twenty percent remaining!

A black and gold blur of motion swooped into the room faster than my eyes could follow, only to resolve before me as…

"S'up, Beautiful? Come here often?"

Shard, you doof. I'm wearing a gag.

"He's in the labs!" I heard Lien-Da's voice call out.

"Whups! We gotta go!" Shard announced cheerfully as he…

DID HE JUST RIP MY CHAIR OUT OF THE FLOOR!?

You know what? Screw it. He's saving the day. I'm just going to let him have this.