Shitty superpowers and how to deal with being useless (quest)

Hey, I’m new, [generic don’t hurt me I’m too young to die message/authors note] reminder that while this is a quest I’m also shit at writing so this may very likely be a shitshow

Quest premise:you were human, you were historically extant, now you’re not and to make even you've been given a shitty power, what you make of this is up to you.



Prelude:


You woke up to a day like any other day on the west coast, more specifically the northwest coast of America.
The sky is grey, the space needle is slightly visible, and the people were just as standoffish towards you on your daily bus ride to work as any other day.
But today is special.
Today your last living relative died. You learned of this when you checked your email during your lunch break.
You hadn’t talked to or connected with your relatives at all for years now, so you did feel bad, but not to any extreme.
You decided not to attend the funeral which was halfway across the country, in Texas.

“Hey Jim” you called out to your mild acquaintance.
You only remembered his name because it was the same as your uncle’s, and because you had met him the year that your uncle died.
You hadn’t attended his funeral either, and that one was just over in Centrailia, a two or three hour drive away.

“...” Jim ignored you as was routine, classic Jim.
You glanced around. Your friends had all traveled to different places after high school.
Now, you just had yourself.
Your last family dying had left you with no real reason to stick around when thinking about it.
You had no pets, friends, or family, and hadn’t ever really maintained a social media presence.
Not that you had any connections beforehand. So not much had changed with today’s plan.

You wandered up to the roof, hoping your office building was tall enough. If it wasn’t you’d probably end up paralyzed, which was subjectively worse in your opinion.
When you reached the top, you decided to leave a note to clear things up, and make sure nobody felt bad about anything that was soon to happen.

Dear reader, this is
[] write in name
While this may seem to be caused by a great deal of distress, as is average for suicides in pop culture, it is not. I was not depressed or sad, simple without reason and filled with a great deal more curiosity for death than that of a continual day job, thanks for your consideration, don’t put me in the news please, I don’t really enjoy attention, you may feed my body to either science or the fishes, I don’t really care, again no news, please and thank you
sincerely-the guy on the ground
(ps. If I’m paralyzed just off me yea? thanks)


With your worries sorted you promptly walked to the edge and looked down.
It was quite steep but you decided that it was better to be safe and get farther out than the sidewalk, so that you wouldn’t land on someone and quite possibly ruin their day.
You emptied your pockets, and set all your belongings on the note, next to the roof entrance door, before running to the edge and leaping.

You very quickly came to regret everything.

What were you doing?! No pets?! You could have easily sustained a dog, or a cat or even a fish for gods sake! And for friends, if you wanted friends you should have just p-


Your thoughts ended abruptly, the last thing going through your head was thankfully not your feet.

It was instead the gum some carefree individual had spit into the road, which had been cemented there for an unknown length of time due to the many cars and midday showers the road had witnessed.

Sadly your fall had dislodged the poor piece of gum, which was now somewhere resting in your occipital lobe.
Or perhaps it could be considered your elbow, as the two had decided to quite comically share a seat, making you look somewhat like a highly untrained fashion model.


You experienced none of this though, instead feeling something akin to sinking into a well used western spittoon, or a somewhat acidic tar pit.
Which while not so comfortable sounding with the Associated sticky imagery, was actually quite comforting to experience for you, as it meant you probably weren’t dead.

You could feel yourself slowly emerge, you hand breaking the surface first into the cold open air.
The confusion at your circumstances was now starting to bear its head. How did you survive? Was it luck, wet cement in the road?
You hadn’t seen any wet cement in your casual glance down, but it could’ve been.

Your head reached the surface, and suddenly you found yourself in a dumpster in a dark alley, luckily unpopulated.
You felt terrible. Though not for any specific reason, it was more a conglomerate of many feeling.
Regret
Panic
Failure
And a slew of other emotions were sloshing around inside you.

Your head hurt too, you noticed after regaining some of your thought processes.

Though it could be easily be considered a remnant of your fall, either adrenaline or a head injury so for now you decided to focus on more important things.
Like how you would do anything now that you had left everything on the roof, including you door key to the office building.
You would have to start over with nothing but a decent grade in physics, and a badly maintained psychology degrees worth of education.


You first searched your pockets for anything you may have missed.
You found only some lint, a paper clip(1) and 15 cents (13 European cents)
You were right and truly fucked.
It was also possible that this is what normally happens when people die, a “next level” or “tutorial end” kind of deal.
You did what any normal person would do here and decided to
[] panic
[]panic internally
[]start listing out any synonym of “menu” “system” or other game like terms
[] *write in*

<————————>
And so our story begins, sorry for being a generic writer, please tell me what I do good and bad, it might help me not be terrible, but being an asshole will get you no big boy points, I’m giving this like a day then continuing it, if no one votes I’m rolling a die, same if the vote is a tie, that goes for the name too.
edit- I moved this from where I had put it on the wrong section, and also tried to fix the grammar a bit, though the person who criticized it wasn’t very specific, if anyone could help I’d be grateful, thanks
-Ovum​

 

[x] Say "Well, I gotta admit, Hell's looking alot like the place I left." in an attempt at levity. Then keep your internal panic down while looking around.

 

Please capitalize your letters.

>you was historically extant, now you isn’t,
uhh... Not quite sure what you mean by this. Historically existent?

>cuz your superpower is very un-good
because your superpower is bad.

>many feeling.
many feelings.

Not even starting on whatever your formatting is, or what are you trying to do.

 

Thank you very much for this, the first bit was intentionally bad, but I see it’s putting people off. Extant is a word meaning still In existence it has the same meaning as existant pretty much, but is the original word for it before it was grammatically modernized. Again thanks a tonne I really don’t have any idea what I’m doing

 

What does this mean?

That sentence still doesn't make any sense at all. I understand what the individual words mean, I have no idea what that sentence is saying.

un-good is acceptable if it is stated as a specific reference to 1984

 

Honestly just remove the ROB part and Good Luck more and your good to go. Leave it as a mystery... You can choose to explore or expand on it later if you want.

 

[x] panic

 

[x] Panic

The only solution

 

[x] Panic

 

[x] Say "Well, I gotta admit, Hell's looking alot like the place I left." in an attempt at levity. Then keep your internal panic down while looking around.
"You respawn in the next trashbin" is actually a decent superpower. Shitty would be something like hypersonic semen. Or making people's teeth fall out by ripping your own out.

 

[x] Say "Well, I gotta admit, Hell's looking alot like the place I left." in an attempt at levity. Then keep your internal panic down while looking around

 

[x] Say "Well, I gotta admit, Hell's looking alot like the place I left." in an attempt at levity. Then keep your internal panic down while looking around.