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Snip: Minimalist CYOA v5 Gimel fixfic speedrun

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by PeriodicPedant, Mar 30, 2022.

  1. PeriodicPedant

    PeriodicPedant Making the rounds.

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    The pain swiftly fading, I open my eyes to a white room. A voice, female with a slight French accent, speaks: "I’m going to leave, now, for my own safety. I recommend sitting and resting before anything else. When you’re prepared, stand and see what you can do to exercise your new abilities."

    I turn and see a woman, dark-skinned, with her hair cut into a short style that was more utilitarian than stylish. She wore a doctor’s lab coat and held a white plastic clipboard with both hands.

    "Ah, Doctor Mother. That won't be necessary. I can't do too much at once, but I know what I can do."

    "Oh?" she asks.

    "Yes. For starters, I can fix Contessa."


    -----
    AN:
    Actually wrote and posted a thing, figured: might as well put it here too.

    First 2 paragraphs based on Interlude 12.5

    I rather like v5 Gimel of the CYOA, but it's still got some issues.

    Scenario: Golden Age. (10/20)
    (No Endbringers, yet.)
    Path: Conspirator. (It works with any path, though then you need to find Cauldron first.)
    Origin: Drop in, no identity. (15/23)
    Costume: Budget (15/23)

    Shard: Abaddon (12/20)
    (Immediately know how to use Shard, starts at full power.)
    Skills: None.
    Perks: None.
    Flaws:
    Psychic Nosebleed (12/22)
    Numbed Emotions (12/25)

    Gift: Metaknowledge (Probably unneeded, but potentially helpful).

    Powers: Power Administration (12/0)
    Quote: "You can add or remove restrictions to any existing power,"
     
    Last edited: Mar 30, 2022
  2. WiseMack

    WiseMack Not too sore, are you?

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    any reason Doctor Mother wouldn't go kill he/she/it with fire?


    nevermind, this is during the golden age / before endbringers, she is probably not as jaded and unstrusting as she will be later.
     
    ICantRember likes this.
  3. PeriodicPedant

    PeriodicPedant Making the rounds.

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    Very few people (outside of Cauldron) know about Contessa. Even in modern times, at best she's a rumor, a bogeyman.
    Among those of know about Contessa, very few know her name.
    Even fewer people know that there's anything about Contessa to fix.

    She may not be as desperate as they become by the time canon starts, but she knows first hand how much of a difference a 'fully armed and operational' PtV would make in killing an Entity.

    On the flip side, she has so many ways to dispose of this person - the simplest being ~1 second long: "Doormaker, kill them."

    Risk vs. potential gain, I can't believe she wouldn't at least listen, first.
     
    ICantRember and Jack-21 like this.
  4. ArcaneReader

    ArcaneReader Master Of The Arcane (Not)

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    Can I ask why you start with cauldron if abandon is your source?
     
  5. PeriodicPedant

    PeriodicPedant Making the rounds.

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    Not entirely sure how you mean that.

    "How am I getting an Abaddon Shard from Cauldron?" - Abaddon and Eden traded shards. It's plausible (if not anything like common) to pick up an Abaddon Shard through Eden.

    Like how Contessa picked up PtV (from Abaddon through Eden, unless I completely misunderstood that part of the story - which, in a bit of fortuity, coincidentally also makes it appropriate that another Abaddon Shard 'fix' her,) in the first place.


    "You don't have to deal with Cauldron if you're getting a Foreign Element Shard" - Absolutely. But the point is to have the most impact with the least setup possible, and Cauldron is far and away the most potent lever. I want to be dealing with Cauldron.

    (This is especially true given we're in the Golden Age - Above and beyond any other complications that aren't in play, the Endbringers don't exist yet.
    Avoid contact with Cauldron, and you're actively allowing one of the biggest problems leading to the state of the world in Gestation to come into being.
    With the advance future knowledge that Endbringers exist and how they come about, an unblinded PtV should be able to either Path Eidolon to stop them from showing up them, to mitigate them, or to bring them in on your side as best case.)


    And doing it this way means I don't need to spend words on how I got the Shard, nor on getting in contact with Cauldron.

    (I mean, sure, it's in the (unspoken) backstory, but (I think) the reader can fill it in well enough through implication.
    It's nowhere near the level of "For Sale: Baby shoes. Never worn.", but I make no claims of being anything approaching a good author. :p )


    If you meant something else, I'll gladly clarify (or rethink).
     
    Last edited: Mar 31, 2022