The Blond and the Tiger (Chronicles of Darkness/New World of Darkness 2e, Calvin and Hobbes)

The Blonde and the Tiger (Chronicles of Darkness/New World of Darkness 2e, Calvin and Hobbes)

Chapter One: A Day in the Barrett Commission

List of Game Lines listed in the Crossover: Hunter the Vigil Second Edition, Werewolf the Forsaken Second Edition, Mage the Awakening Second Edition, Princess: The Hopeful (Homebrew). Other Gamelines are also given minor mentions.

Author’s Note: This is a spinoff of Mixed Family, my other crossover fanfiction (link in my signature). Reading that is not necessary to understand the first few chapters of this work.

Spoiler: Hidden for Size

Originally Proto!Arthur from Fate Prototype, but used for Adult!Calvin.
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Governor Calvin Maxwell appreciated that his previous self was actually famous in this world, the world he got reincarnated to after he and Hobbes got hit by the cliched ‘Isekai Truck’. He also appreciated looking like Proto!Arthur/Arthur Pendragon from Fate/Prototype (aka the one who came before Artoria Pendragon, everyone and their father’s favorite fictional wife). He also appreciated being rich, and powerful, and having more adoring fans in his current life than he could ever have in his former life, aka the world of the ‘fictional’ newspaper comic ‘Calvin and Hobbes’.

What he didn’t appreciate was being called ‘Cancer’ by fellow Hunters due to Hobbes’ existence. What he didn’t appreciate were Vampires, Werewolves, ‘Witches’, and the odd Magical Girl/Boy using supernatural powers to meddle in his country’s politics, which were messy enough already. At least he got Hobbes back thanks to those Magical Boys, which got them a lot of slack from him.

Nor, quite frankly, did he appreciate the paperwork needed to keep away other Hunters from sucking away Government resources meant for hunting down or policing Supernaturals or meddling in American politics themselves. This ain’t the Old World of Darkness where Mortals didn’t have any agency whatsoever; this was the Chronicles of Darkness, where Mortals can actually put up a fight not just in actual combat but also where the money and power lay, and he was keeping it that way.

A tiger walked into his office, appearing to be a mere stuffed animal to all but his ‘Etheric CCTV’. This tiger - Hobbes - rose up on its hind legs and took out a tuna fish sandwich from the mini-fridge Calvin kept in his office, before saying, “So, how are reviewing Cheiron’s patent applications going?”

The Cheiron Group was a Conspiracy of Hunters that experimented on supernatural beings and used some for parts to make genuinely good medicines and other inventions which did improve people’s lives… In exchange for cold hard cash and acceptance of their own predatory business practices. Pricks wanted Humanity to exchange one master for another.

So Calvin’s response was, “As Dad - My real Dad, the one from where we came from - would say: Patent Infringement is still patent infringement even when the inventor is a Monster. I’m going to tell them that if they don’t want whichever Regulatory Body is in vogue up their asses, they’d pay the Magical Girl they stole the blueprint for their new ‘immunobooster’ from full royalties for using her idea; not that she should be doing any business with them or their affiliates, but that’s on her.”

Hobbes nodded, his whiskers twitching, “I’ve got good news for you then - That Magical Girl/Princess/Whatever is Suzie. Reincarnated.”

Calvin looked at Hobbes, almost glaring as he said, “You’d better not be pulling my leg, Hobbes. Best friend or not, I have a trusty shotgun and I can have your pelt on the wall for bringing her up.”

Suzie was a sore point for both of them; Calvin had grown up long enough to realize that he actually liked the Derkins girl and when she grew into a young woman and him into a young man, he had been giddily about to propose to her when he and Hobbes got hit by a heavy fuel truck. At least their deaths were instant.

It was the period of separation as he grew up again, reincarnated into a family who was the polar opposite of his parents and made him regret how he took their love for granted. Neglected by people who believed that throwing cash and gifts at him made up for that, raised to fill their role in local politics, and eventually, proved to them that he was a genius when he passed the bar exams at the age of eighteen and became one of the youngest lawyers in Ohio State… Promptly legally emancipating himself from his second, ‘fake’ set of parents as soon as he did so.

He grinned as he remembered that moment, but remembered to keep his attention on his best friend as the latter said, “Nope, it’s true; Suzie is definitely a Magical Girl now - A Princess of Diamonds -”

Calvin’s eyes hardened, “Do not use the term ‘Princess’ with me. Don’t refer to the ‘Queen’ of Diamonds as a monarch either - She is a ‘Spiritual Guide’ and every Magical Girl and Boy should remember that if they want to operate in this democracy, they’d better not use… Terms which confuse the ignorant.”

A sneer as he thought of those meatheads in Task Force: VALKYRIE who genuinely thought the Spiritual Guides were ‘invading foreign powers’. Then he continued, “Have you made sure it's Suzie? There are people who know I’m a reincarnate, and not all of them work in the US Government or aren’t jealous of my good looks and charm.”

Hobbes’ response was, “She recognized me and gave me a hug, calling me by name.”

That wasn’t enough proof, given that, “Bill Watterson exists in this world; our original world is ‘fictional’ in this hellhole. Try again.”

The walking, talking, tiger did, “She called you by your last name - Your real last name, not Maxwell. Something not even Mr. Watterson has written about. Then again, Brightvale is a pretty common surname…”

Calvin was already getting up from his office chair saying, “Give me her address, Hobbes! And schedule a meeting - This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!”

Hobbes began to ramble on, “You do realize you haven’t disbanded G.R.O.S.S. (Get Rid of Slimy Girls) yet, right? You were going to wait till you’re married - “

“ENOUGH!” the old ‘Calvin Rage’ showed itself once more, amplified by impatience and frustration, “If you don’t want your head mounted on the wall, you’re going to tell me if she needs any help right now!”

“Well…” Hobbes trailed off, “She has said that you’re too lenient to the Corporations and not doing enough to encourage renewable energy projects and distribute enough scholarships. Oh, and that your campaign for State Governor was dirty and polarizing -”

“Would she rather have someone in the pay of Vampires win?” was the retort. “Does she even know that my opponent was not only worse than I am but taking cash from Cheiron, Vampires, and the occasional Darkened?”

Hobbes responded, “She said that was no excuse for shaming your opponent by calling him a ‘Fatso’, a ‘Hogzilla’, and a ‘Rolie Polie Olie’.”

Calvin chuckled, “So she watched that old CGI cartoon. Well, time to engage her in some spirited debate!”

“Or maybe engage her with a ring -!” Hobbes teased, causing Calvin to chuckle again.

“You know I’d have smacked you for that before, right?” the State Governor of Ohio, Hunter of the Barrett Commission, and guardian of America’s politics from Supernatural Interference said. “Now let’s go!”

The Chronicles of Darkness was a world of dark magic, monstrous depravity, and constant moral compromise and ambiguity. That didn’t mean that there weren’t treasures everywhere.

And this time, Calvin Maxwell - No, Calvin Brightvale, was going to hold on to Suzie and never let her go…

 

Chapter Two: Shotguns and Darkspawn

Sometimes, I wonder if my adventures as Calvin Brightvale in my original world were a product of my imagination. Or maybe they were real after all, or both at different times? I knew Hobbes had been real, and by real I mean a separate existence, able to physically affect the world around him. After all, he had mauled me multiple times back then and I still had the scars from one such ‘greeting’.

Did our world have magic too? Could I have harnessed it to become the supreme potentate of Earth and Ruler of the Universe to the smallest atom? Could I have fulfilled the narcissistic dreams I had when I was six years old, yet already more intelligent and philosophical than my schoolmates except for Suzie?

Oh, well, maybe I can be the ruler of this Earth instead; there’s a nonzero possibility I can take over it, and an even smaller, but still existent, possibility that people would actually welcome me as I do it…

“Hello, Earth to Calvin!” Hobbes’ voice broke my reverie; I should shoot him for that later. “We’ve arrived at where Suzie is!”

‘Where Suzie was’ was an old abandoned building I was sure I signed the orders to condemn due to ‘chemical contamination’. And by that, some of the Evil Magical Girls had drained the building of hope to feed the ‘Queen of Tears’ and her City of Alhambra, which she refused to move out of the ‘Dark World’ due to her illogical belief that there was no other way.

Because it had been drained of hope, it was now crawling with Darkspawn, miserable little shitstains from a realm of pure evil who add to the huge pile of supernatural beasts and creepy-crawlies we Hunters have to deal with all the flipping time. Thankfully, Darkspawn were weak to -

“You commissioned Jade shotgun pellets?!” Hobbes exclaimed as he handed me the cartridges for my weapon, “Wait, you can afford Jade shotgun pellets?!”

I moved to deny any allegation of corruption in the procurement of said pellets by waving a hand dismissively and saying, “It's not jewelry-grade jade, so they're affordable as shotgun pellets. Besides, you wouldn’t complain if it was silver for Werewolves, right?”

Hobbes showed some of his old panache as he scoffed and said, “Of course not! While the Forsaken are good folks who can rightly be called ‘Honorary Tigers’, the Pure -”

A screeching wail sounded out from the abandoned motel; it wasn’t Suzie’s.

“I wouldn’t want to be that Darkspawn, Hobbes,” I said as I opened the car door and loped out, gesturing for my best friend to follow me in his Tiger form.

“Me neither,” Hobbes said as he followed me into the motel.

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Suzie was probably the elegant and beautiful Virtual Reality-themed Magical Girl I was seeing slice at two Duskhounds (canine Darkspawn with toxic teeth that can see in complete darkness as if they were in a well-lit room) with beam swords that looked lifted from Saber Tomoe Goezen from FGO (look her up; must I do everything for you, dear reader?!), which they probably were, although they were purple, not blue, so there was little to no copyright infringement.

As for me, I was in casual clothes, a leather jacket, and a bulletproof vest underneath. I also carried a crash helmet engraved with protective runes that actually worked as long as I spent willpower every time I was attacked by a supernatural force (go look up what spending capital-w Willpower means as a game mechanic if you don’t recognize the reference!).

Hobbes was only in his fur; his teeth and claws were all he needed to maul Darkspawn as he leaped at one of the Duskhounds and tore out its throat; I shot the other with jade bullets with enough force to blast it at a wall with enough force to cause the mildewed wallpaper covering it to fall down like a shroud.

“You two took your sweet time getting here!” the Magical Girl shouted at us in what was unmistakably Suzie’s ‘bossy voice’. “I was just about to head for this Tainted Place’s Echo!”

I sighed and responded, “No need for that; I already signed the orders for the demolition of this lot to the foundations late last week. Just went here to tell you that we can just perform a few exorcisms and abjurations to keep the place safe for the wrecking crew.”

In response, the Magical Girl confirmed that she was, indeed, Suzie Derkins by de-transforming from her Magical Girl (well, Woman if you want to be semantic) and back to the mousy, brown-haired, and blue-eyed girl I knew and still loved.

“Always a braggart as ever,” Suzie said to me. “I presume you brought the symbols needed for the Abjuration?”

Now, a bit of exposition here from me, Calvin the Great: In the New World of Darkness/Chronicles of Darkness, anyone can perform an Exorcism or Abjuration (both capitalized), expelling malign supernatural influences from an area. They don’t even need to believe in a Religion (My religion is privately worshipping myself as a God, by the way) because having a soul is enough.

One can also perform a Warding and Binding by using willpower, incantations, and the spiritual bane of malign supernatural entities (in the case of Darkspawn, Jade) to keep them out of an area, but right now, a mere Abjuration would do.

“Yes, yes I did,” I spoke, “However, I don’t need them - I have enough resolve, composure, and sheer steel balls to seal the taint by myself. Besides, this Tainted Place doesn’t draw from the vice of Pride, right? So my specific faults won’t affect it.”

Suzie rolled her eyes and said, “If you say so.”

Then she walked back towards Hobbes and whispered something along the lines of, “When he fails, I can use my Abjuration-enhancing Charms even without Transforming; we’re stronger than we are in our original homebrew.”

I magnanimously ignored them as I lifted up my hand, focused my willpower and resolve and my perfect composure, and instilled the calm and reverence needed for a proper abjuring by reciting the State Anthem of Ohio, and thinking of my home.



My home, my neighbors, and my state’s golden fields of grain.

The people, both Humans and Supernaturals.

Monsters, Mortals, and the Hunters who protected the latter from the former yet lost their way every so often.

My dream was still of people living peacefully and happily, of a Beautiful Ohio that was more than stereotypes and rumors made it out to be. Of Old Man Watterson and his Oil Paintings, which I had the virtue of seeing when he invited me to a visit, and somehow knew I was his Calvin, transported to these Chronicles of Darkness.

And finally, I envisioned Suzie’s face in my mind, and I faced down the malign force that corrupted this ‘Tainted Place’, shouting, “In the name of Calvin Maxwell, no, Calvin Brightvale, I abjure thee! Retreat back to your realm and cease to trouble these ruins!”

My will contested the Darkness itself, pressing against its own forceful temptations. I was a mere Hunter, functionally identical to a normal human, a Mortal except for what I knew about the world behind the shadows and being a Reincarnate.

And the Darkness drew back.

As the Taint faded, Suzie ran over and hugged me, saying, “That. Was. Awesome!”

She then kissed me full on the lips, saying only once she detached herself, “I guess your ego was finally good for something, it seems. Also, you had to grow up a second time, huh? With impossibly perfect memories of your past life, to boot…”

I chuckled and kissed her back, detached myself again, then said, “Not one day passed hoping that you were reincarnated as well, that the Cyberdemons which were behind this would bring you to me as well. So, did you at least outlive me by several decades?”

She smiled and confirmed my hopes with these words, “I lived till 2060, Calvin Brightvale. And I kept thinking of you every day, too.”

Then she drew back a little and said, “Wait, they came clean to you? The Agency behind Reincarnates usually does not reveal their work to Hunters!”

I chuckled a little and said as I took her hand in mine and said, “Well, I must be exceptional, then. Now, why don’t we go to a little diner close to city hall and discuss this further?”

Amends need to be made, and information shared. And of course, connections reforged…