The Force Always Says Yes [Star Wars]

[Simonbob]

The BEST Jedi Knight!

Even if he's only sorta a Jedi, and the Knight's thing's seperate.


And he's been teaching, so he's a Master!


The Force really think's he's the BEST Soap Opera, doesn't it.

 

[Hyenanon]

Chapter 67: The Happiest Moment​

There was no time to organize a 'proper' ceremony. More importantly, there was no time to educate Nerim on what exactly a 'proper' ceremony was supposed to be. He mainly picked up what he could through overhearing arguments between Aesha and Tetha, where they bickered about the proper order of events and position of guests and other various differences between their cultures.

Tetha crossed her arms and pouted at the breakfast table. "On Utapau, the bride descends down an elevator to the altar."

Aesha crossed her arms too in response. "What? Alone?"

"With a bridesmaid of course."

"That's silly. How does the groom get there?"

"...I don't know, he's just already there somehow."

Aesha rolled her eyes. "Makes no sense. They should walk in side by side. They're partners, after all."

Jianno spoke, her mouth still half-full of bacon. "This is a stupid amount of pretension for a wedding. Nerim's right, you're already married. Just sign the documents in a court or something to make it official."

"Absolutely not!" Both young women shouted in unison.

Jianno swallowed. "My parents got tied via text message and they've been together 27 years."

Nerim turned to Arwain. "Master? What's a traditional Jedi wedding like?"

Arwain smiled, but Tetha spoke first, raising her hand in confusion. "Uh, I'm sorry, what? Jedi wedding?"

"Jedi have been getting married for thousands of years," Arwain explained. "I mean, it's always been contentious. Usually only happens in times of war. But it's relatively recent that Fae cracked down on stopping it entirely. She didn't believe we could handle standard family structures and Jedi duties. It was probably informed by her species' mating habits, honestly. Jenet don't exactly mate for life or in nuclear families."

"So what's the ceremony like?" Tetha tilted her head curiously.

"Not all that different from the Mandalorian one, honestly. Albeit with a different reason. Jedi marriages were never accepted, they were just tolerated from time to time. Or maybe overlooked is the better word. During the Sith Wars, there was just a general cultural consensus you would pretend not to know they were married. So weddings tended to be pretty small and without great ceremony or guests. Usually you would find a hidden place and make your vows there, either just the two of them, or with a handful of their closest friends and relatives."

Nerim looked up in thought and smiled. "A hidden place sounds nice."

Tetha frowned at that. "Why do you want to hide it?"

"Well, it's just..." He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "I mean, it reminds me of our...first kiss," he ended the statement quietly.

She quickly stopped frowning, and hummed to herself, pleased.

Aesha rolled her eyes. "You just can't stay mad at him for more than a few seconds at a time, can you?"

"He does seem to have a way of saving himself at the last moment," Arwain chuckled. "I wish I had that talent."

___________________________________________________________________________________



The dressing room was empty and quiet aside from the soft rustling of fabrics as Arwain fastened Nerim's coat from behind. "Are you nervous?" She asked softly.

"Not really," he said honestly, looking into the mirror at himself. "Tetha seems to be really looking forward to this, so I just want to make it work for her. Aesha seems weirdly invested too."

"Weddings are one of the biggest events in the average person's life," Arwain explained, fussing over his hair. "You sure you're not nervous at all?"

He made a pensive expression. "Why would I be?"

"It's a big commitment."

"If it turns out poorly, we can just divorce."

Arwain stopped and laughed. "That's a very Jedi manner of thought. Don't ever let anyone else hear you say that."

He smiled. "But I don't think it will turn out poorly. I love her, dearly."

She looked into the mirror and caught his eyes in it with a motherly smile. "I wish I had your ability to hold onto things without being consumed by the fear of letting them go. I always end up abandoning anything I love," she said wistfully.

"Well, you love me, and you're not going to abandon me," he said happily.

"How can you be so sure?" She teased, pinching his cheek.

"You're my Master."

She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly. "Aw. My little Padawan. You're a much kinder Jedi than I. I have much to learn from you."

When they broke the hug, she turned him around, looking down at him proudly. Then there was a slight concern in her eye, and she spoke gently again. "Nerim, forever is a long time. Longer for some than others."

He raised an eyebrow. "Master?"

"Listen...I think now is the best time we're gonna get to talk about it. Like Fay, and Fae, and me, there's a potential that you could learn to be...Well, ageless. But I can't promise that—"

There was a knock at the door. Jianno poked her head in, helmet under her arm. Her new armor was freshly painted and shined, and in the most bizarre turn of events, she had a number of flowers in her hair. Apparently her clan did know to dress up for weddings, at least. "You two ready?"

Nerim turned to Arwain and smiled sadly. "Sorry Master, but I think this will have to wait," he said, gently grabbing her elbow and leading her towards the door. "I know you said this is the best time. But tomorrow will be the second best."

Arwain grinned and hooked her arm with his. "Ugh. They grow up so fast."

They exited the room, and Nerim was subjected to a blur of events that were, along with the dinner he attended at Tetha's mansion, among most stressful of his life. He knew he was bad at this sort of thing, so he brought to bear every ounce of his being into not screwing it up. In all honesty, it was probably the most desperate the Force had ever heard him plea. There were a number of choreographed movements that, to him, seemed labyrinthine in their complexity, even though he was assured the average wedding was significantly worse.

The room was small, yet grand and sunny, bathed in stained glass light from the wall of windows and a slight green glow from the botanical garden reflecting the light. It was a side room of the crown of the tree, meant for relaxation and recollection, and only held two benches to sit at along with lounging chairs and tables in the corners, which was surely enough.

There were very few guests; aside from Arwain and Jianno, the only others in attendance were Jarroa and his wife—given that he ordered the marriage in the first place, it was the least he could do. Aesha was helping Tetha prepare. Neither Pappino or Jethro had time to certify the wedding, and so their assistant Kiseti was presiding as a clerk in the corner, smiling silently at the proceedings.

Things momentarily cleared up for him when, after a short period, Tetha emerged, side by side with Aesha. She wore a beautiful dress which Aesha had somehow procured in less than 24 hours, but the first thing he noticed was her hair. She wore it down and long, which he never saw outside of when they were very alone. She was wearing the olethra hairpin.

Tetha approached him slowly and carefully, her hands clasped in front of her and her steps light, in a way that he realized was reminiscent of Aesha's own posture training he had seen long ago. When she approached him, she reached out to him. "How do I look?" She asked demurely. Her dress was bright red, with billowing sleeves and a skirt that nearly reached the floor. Gold embroidery decorated the chest and sleeves.

"I..." He took her hands in his, speechless for a moment. "...I can't believe I never imagined you in a dress until now," he laughed.

She looked at him, amused, trying to decide whether or not to be angry at that comment, while Arwain stepped beside the two of them to officiate the ceremony. She asked him to say a number of vows, which seemed redundant to him, but he repeated them and he meant it. Then she bid for them to kiss, which was surreal given the audience and the fact that the command came from a Jedi Master, but he rarely passed on such an opportunity. He and Tetha kissed, and when they broke she nearly bounced with joy, which caused a warm feeling in his chest. Aesha and her mother clapped excitedly.

For a moment, he realized that Tetha and Aesha must have had a similar conversation to him and Arwain before the ceremony. He wondered if she had any reservations. If she did, she had forgotten them, at least in this moment.

Nerim stood there smiling like a dope until he felt a strong blow to his shoulder. "Congrats, shrimp!" Jianno said happily.

Arwain placed a hand on Tetha's shoulder. "Now I can officially pawn him off on you. He's your problem now."

The newlyweds both laughed, and Aesha jumped up with a whirring of the servos in her feet and ran to the two of them, wrapping both in a hug, lifting one in each arm. "It's—it's like a beautiful play!" Her throat was tight.

"Excuse me!" Kiseti politely raised her hand. "Not to interrupt the celebrations, but I have to actually notarize this before it's legal. Could you please both sign this?"

She offered them a datapad, and Tetha signed it right away. Nerim read it. His brow furrowed. He spoke in Mandalorian, something like You've gotta be kidding with an extra word in there somewhere. Kiseti's eyes widened and she froze.

"W-what?" Tetha asked, suddenly quite anxious.

"I—I didn't fully understand what Jethro meant when he brought this up," Nerim said, rubbing his forehead in shock.

The room went quiet with anticipation, and Tetha threaded her hands together in an almost pleading fashion. "Nerim, darling...?"

He realized her discomfort, and quickly signed the document, causing Kiseti to smile nervously. He looked down in bewilderment for a moment, and then back up to Tetha. "Change your last name...Tetha Nerim?" He said, not quite believing it. "Really?"

The room remained quiet with disbelief, mainly in the fact that Nerim hadn't noticed until now, except for Arwain, who muttered "Oh my stars..."

"Nerim, you are so lucky you're cute," Tetha heaved a sigh of relief, "Because you are so dumb."

"Tetha Nerim!" Arwain gasped in shock. "I was having a vague vision of this moment years ago! This must be why I kept trying to come up with first names for you! Like Niman Nerim!"

"You're making fun of me," he glared at his Master. Aesha started the music, a smooth and charming disco beat that he was well aware was chosen to poke fun at his taste. And he did like it.

Arwain grinned. "Actually, you were the one who came up with Niman Nerim, weren't you?"

"I do not like being bullied."

Jianno wrapped her arms around each of their shoulders. "C'mon. Time for the party."

"Reception," Arwain corrected.

"You're about to receive my foot up your ass," Jianno grumbled, moving over to the table holding the booze. "Nerim, got some fresh tihaar from the clan!"

"Oh!" Nerim lit up. She had been telling him for years how much she missed that particular drink, and it sounded delicious. Then he looked to Tetha, and re-centered himself. "Well, just a taste. I don't want to get drunk on my wedding day."

Jianno froze and turned to him slowly. "The hell are you people's weddings for?"

Tetha giggled and linked her arm with his. "It's a reception, you're allowed to drink a little. A little!"

Behind them, Kiseti began slinking away with her datapad. "Well, now that my job's over, I wish you a happy reception and a fulfilling married life!"

"Hey!" Nerim turned. "You're allowed to stay for the party, y'know. You sat through the entire ceremony, some snacks and drinks are the least we could offer."

"Oh!" She stopped, blinking in surprise. She looked between the faces in the room, all of which seemed rather welcoming, and then she readjusted her glasses."W-well..." She nervously smiled. "I mean, snacks wouldn't hurt."

Tetha took her hand with her other arm, leading the both of them as the room began to chatter and celebrate. "If you don't mind my asking, why the glasses?" She asked. "No judgment. I used to wear them, too, before I could rely on the Force."

"Oh," Kiseti self-consciously pushed her glasses up again. "Well, um, it's just that my eyes aren't so good. I mean, I know there's surgeries and cybernetics, but I just don't believe in that kind of thing. N-no offense! Not that there's anything wrong with it," she clarified quickly, looking in Aesha's direction.

Aesha overheard, and raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean by that?" She asked skeptically.

"Well it's just—Mm," Kiseti placed her hands together and up to her mouth, trying to find the best way to word it. "Well, I'm from Coruschal originally, and it's—it can be a cutthroat place sometimes. You know, as a young girl growing up there, you're pushed to get a lot of cosmetic surgeries and cybernetic enhancements to keep up. And I just, you know, if I started, when would I ever stop? So I told myself I would never do that, unless I absolutely needed it to function normally. Glasses are good enough for my eyes. Missing legs would be a different story."

"Oh." Aesha mulled the information over in her head, and smiled affably. "Well, that's respectable."

"Y-yeah. Sorry," Kiseti heaved a sigh of relief. "Stars," she took off her glasses and rubbed her eye tiredly, "I just can't stop putting my foot in my mouth."

"Bad choice of idiom," Nerim whispered.

Kiseti went rigid. "Um! Um! I mean—!"

"Aesha!" Jarroa approached and placed a hand on his daughter's shoulder, a cocktail in one hand. "When are you getting married?"

She scowled up at him. "Watch it. You're about to lose your wife."

"Wha—" He shook his head in confusion, and turned to see his wife dancing in the center of the room with Arwain. He looked back down at his daughter, unamused. "Your mother is perfectly capable of dancing with Master Arwain in a platonic manner."

Jianno took a long drink of the rather explosive smelling tihaar. "It's...it's not as easy as you'd think," she mumbled.

 

[TroubleFait]

Nerim turned to Arwain and smiled sadly. "Sorry Master, but I think this will have to wait," he said, gently grabbing her elbow and leading her towards the door. "I know you said this is the best time. But tomorrow will be the second best."

Click to shrink...

Oh my god this is such a death flag, why are you doing this to us

I didn't realise it's been years since the start of their adventure. Everything seemed to happen so fast.

Now that immortality might be on the table, this means they Nerim might not be so far from the SW canon events. Intriguing. Or he might choose to keep his natural lifespan. Nerim seems like the guy to live in the moment. If he does choose immortality, this opens several questions in regard to his relationship with Tetha. Would she also be immortal? If she is, are they to be married forever-forever? What about their kids?

 

[Crazy7809]

What about their kids?

Click to shrink...

Can they even have kids? IIRC Star Wars has wierd limits on what species can interbreed. I know a decent chunk of races are simply human varients but there's often enough drift that they can't have children.

 

[Hyenanon]

Can they even have kids? IIRC Star Wars has wierd limits on what species can interbreed. I know a decent chunk of races are simply human varients but there's often enough drift that they can't have children.

Click to shrink...

Well, Tetha said she thinks they can't. She is a bioengineered lifeform though, so who knows...

 

[Simonbob]

"Wait. So, we're depending on your tesimony for the court case, and you married the Sith in question?!"

 

[Hyenanon]

"Wait. So, we're depending on your tesimony for the court case, and you married the Sith in question?!"

Click to shrink...

"Your Honor, I CAN FIX HER"

 

[TroubleFait]

"Your Honor, I CAN FIX HER"

Click to shrink...

Hearing this, Tetha swoons with a loving gaze towards him, witnessed by the judge and the jury. This ultimately helps their case.

 

[Hyenanon]

Chapter 68: The Courts Take Even Longer​

As they descended upon the so-called "plains of Coruscant", where thousands of skyscrapers were leveled out by regulation at the same height, Tetha pressed her hands to the glass and looked out with mouth wide open. In the distance was the Jedi Temple and Senate building, along with hundreds of other towers and blocky constructs sparkling silver against the cerulean blue sky. But where they were going was a great plain of what seemed to be featureless, smooth cubes, with a grand fairy tale castle and its spires at the center, made of glass and platinum.

"That's the Galactic Court," Nerim pointed to the castle. Then to the Jedi Temple on the horizon. "Unfortunately, we're in the same hemisphere as that."

Tetha laughed in disbelief. "I just...I can't believe how big this city is. This planet! I can...feel it. Trillions of souls..."

He smiled and wrapped an arm around her waist. "When you get accustomed to it, you can hear them echoing from anywhere in the Galaxy. They make a lot of racket here."

They had all set out quite early to ensure they arrived in time. Despite that, a sublight drive malfunction and a litany of unexpected traffic jams stemming from at least two incidents with an orbital garbage accelerator threatened to have them be late. Still, they had a few hours. Just enough to sit around and wait for their trial at the courthouse.

When they landed, Nerim exited, and was immediately transported back to his childhood. The metallic smell of the air was something he had forgotten, but immediately created a strange fuzzy sensation in his memory, as if he were connected to every time in the past he had stepped outside here. There were traces of ozone and gaps where the noble gasses like neon and argon swirled around them, hints of humidity from the sweat and acrid smoke rising up from the endless alleys below, and the somehow omnipresent smell of street food that permeated all outdoors spaces on Coruscant.

He could imagine how it was unpleasant for most newcomers. He didn't even really have anything to say in defense of it, other than to question what exactly one expected of the biggest city in the universe. There was no trace of garbage or sewage, and that alone was a feat comparable to that of gods, in his opinion.

It certainly took a little of the shine out of Tetha's eyes, as she scrunched her nose in response to the first lungful. Aesha and Jarroa looked positively nauseated, coming from the dry floral air of Cathar. He smirked. "Welcome to Galactic City. The air quality is better inside."

"Does it always smell like this?" Aesha asked dismally.

He took a deep breath, and frowned. He looked to Arwain, who nodded in agreement with his silent observation. "More ozone than usual," she said. "I wonder if the atmospheric recyclers are undergoing maintenance again."

They shuffled into the gigantic building, through a gauntlet of security checkpoints. They had left their lightsabers at home, and Mandalorians had a religious exception that allowed them to retain their armor, although the guards did grumble about Jianno's crushgaunts. Then they moved between endless crowds of mostly somber and straight-laced academics of all races. The turbolifts were in constant use, but it didn't take them too long to get aboard. They were going straight to the top of the main tower; it was apparently considered quite a large case, as such things went. They got in. Aside from the four Force Users, only Jarroa, Jianno, and the three lawyers attended.

Jarroa's wife remained on Cathar to deal with matters there, despite her protestations. He also vaguely recalled being told long ago it was considered a sign of hostility for a Cathar tribal elder to arrive in a foreign land without his family around him. Meanwhile, Cadron seemed happy to send Jianno to the bureaucratic capital in his stead—although she vociferously threatened him to not mess up anything in her absence.

When they exited in the antechamber before the courtroom proper, Nerim's eyes were immediately drawn to a particular corner, where five Jedi sat in meditative position. Two, Nerim had never seen before, and he instantly could tell they were members of the Service Corps. Then on the opposite end was the Knight Haaka Mahn, as well as Master Jahl Vocta, the Anomid from the Council. Between the four others, a Human girl sat stiffly with her eyes closed.

Immediately, Nerim felt a surge of anger in Aesha. Tetha caught onto it, and then her eyes found the Human girl, and he felt the anger rise in her too. "Is that her?" She asked.

The girl's eyes opened, and locked onto Nerim's. He pointed and spoke calmly. "Yeah, that's uh..." He put his hand to his chin and thought for a moment. "Chey-Linn," he snapped his fingers.

Chey-Linn's eyes narrowed for a moment, and then closed again. He felt Haaka Mahn's presence reach out to her, bid her to stay placid. Suddenly, he realized something wasn't missing from her. He looked down. A new lightsaber hilt hung at her belt. He saw her smirk, just slightly as he realization hit him.

"They took her off probation," he muttered to himself.

Arwain furrowed her brow. "What? But Fae said her status was contingent on the trial."

"The moment she died, they took her off probation."

Suddenly a third pillar of anger erupted beside him. All of the Jedi opened their eyes at that. There was something else in the air, too. A sort of sadistic glee, but Nerim couldn't pinpoint where it was coming from. And he felt a kind of...sorrow. That, he realized, was coming from himself.

Pappino leaned down and smiled pleasantly. "It's no surprise the Jedi took her side, we already knew they were showing up here in her defense. More fodder for the oral arguments."

Jethro straightened his clothes out. "Trust me, nothing good ever comes from mean mugging your opposition before walking in the doors."

Nerim nodded slowly. "Right. Let's just sit back and wait for the Justices to arrive," he said, collapsing into a soft round-backed chair with bright red leather cushions. It was comfortable, and felt cool to the touch, which pleased him after so many weeks of Cathar summer. He had trust in the law, and the Force, and most of all that the Jedi in front of him would not miss an opportunity to bungle this if they possibly could. So he relaxed, and as he did so, his compatriots did as well.

The wait was long and boring, and none of them felt very comfortable having a conversation in front of the eerily quiet Jedi. After a while, the apportioned time came, and they funneled into the courtroom. It was spacious and round, with a high ceiling and transparasteel walls that emphasized transparency and clarity in the legal system, so the architecture told him. The interior had alabaster furnishings, soft white benches and tables with low reflectivity surfaces to prevent glares from the open windows, and stark Republic red cushions to contrast. The Cathar group sat to the left, and the Jedi Order to the right. The judge's bench was tall and curved inwards, so that all twelve seats could look to the center.

In attendance were only five of the twelve Justices. But it was quite rare for more than three to show up in the first place, and almost unheard of for a majority. They were busy people, and the Galaxy produced many cases. Jethro had already given him a short rundown on each of them.

To the far left, sitting three seats away from her closest fellow Justice, was Thagrit, a Neimoidian who was infamously obstructionist to the Republic's governance as a whole—rumored to have been bought out by the megacorporations, but seemed to spite the central government for fun just as often. Jethro theorized she was actually driven by ego, and said she was probably in the bag the moment she heard the Jedi Order were their opposition.

Next, sitting side by side, were a towering old Ithorian named Rouhh, and a cantankerous old Squib named Ickstalitoweatiuhwe (who, thankfully, graciously allowed people to refer to him as Justice Icks for shorthand). They were both wild cards without particular political affiliation, but almost always came to exact opposite conclusions on everything. Getting both of the old men on a panel of three was a common strategy, as they would usually cancel each other out, putting everything on the third Justice.

Two seats down from them sat Justice Widdimur, who to all the world looked like some sort of rabbit or lemur in both size and stature. She was a Kushiban, a small quadrupedal species which, like Saarkanians, changed their fur color in response to their emotions, although the colors they used were different, and their fur defaulted to a grayish white. She was a widely renowned figure, and according to Jethro, respected clean, concise, and unemotional argumentation.

Finally, two seats down from her, presided Chief Justice Scoralecta. She was a Frozian, a tall and gangly mammalian species with bizarre limbs that had an extra place of articulation each, leading to two elbows per arm, and two knees per leg. She had light brown fur and a stern expression, and uniquely her robe instead of pure black was cut by a bright blue azure sash around her waist, the same as the Supreme Chancellor, and signified that she was on par with that rank. Or at least theoretically, if the Chancellor had had any real power at all. Jethro had told them she would be the hardest sell, as a lifelong admirer of the Jedi Order.

Also attending were a number of assistants, stenographers, and what Nerim belatedly realized was a small media crew in the corner, with tiny remote camera droids ready to float for prime angles. He rolled his eyes. They were quiet, at least—in part because they were flanked on either side by one of the eight Republic Commandos who acted as bailiffs in the court, one of the few military units to survive the Ruusan Reformations, considered small enough to not break the ban on expeditionary forces. He noted their bright blue armor was of archaic Mandalorian design, albeit not made of beskar.

Nerim sat back and observed the room's inhabitants and the procession of events, with half-understanding of what was even going on as the Justices and lawyers spoke to one another, although in truth it didn't seem like much at all was happening. They were primarily just logging information, ensuring that they did in fact have access to everything submitted to discovery. He took the time to meditate, and an hour passed by without much of consequence.

Suddenly his eyes opened, and looked towards the Jedi Serviceman who was acting as the Order's lawyer. He was a Human, tall with straight black hair slicked back and piercing blue eyes. He stood before the Justices, tapped at his datapad, and pointed towards Nerim. "And we can confirm that the man I am pointing at is Mr. Nerim, form—"

Jethro leapt out of his seat. "Objection!"

"Excuse me?" The Chief Justice asked with a steely voice and cocked eyebrow.

Jethro waddled out from around the desk, which was considerably taller than him, towards the middle of the room where he could be seen easier. "As a Knight of Cathar, his proper honorific is Sir. He is Sir Nerim, and the other party will respect court decorum by referring to him as such."

The Jedi Serviceman looked down to Jethro Geiger with a disapproving expression. "Ah. Well, you see, we must object to that as well. It is a misleading title and will color the case."

Thagrit scoffed. "How so? Explain yourself, Mr. Ya-Ban," she demanded, her voice scratchy.

The Jedi Serviceman, apparently Ya-Ban, spoke to the Justices as a whole. "Nerim is an Exile from the Order, and exiled as a Padawan at that. He is not, nor was he ever a Jedi Knight. Seeing as this case deals with the nature of the Jedi and Sith, and confusion surrounding the strict definitions of these matters, and that the defendants' strategy is to confuse the matter further, and that the defendants maintain Nerim to be a sort of Jedi, and that Nerim himself is central to the events that occurred on Cathar which we are putting on trial, I believe that referring to him as a Knight will only confuse matters, and furthermore, we must remember that fraudulent claims of Knighthood are—"

Ya-Ban's exceptionally long sentence was interrupted by Jethro. "And now you presume to dictate to Cathar what military ranks they can assign?! The Jedi Order did not invent the term knight, nor do they have exclusive rights to it!"

Thagrit shook her head sternly. "This is a farcical overreach, Mr. Ya-Ban."

"I'm inclined to agree," Widdimur spoke softly, with a high pitched tone and occasional squeaks. "We are quite capable of differentiating the Knighthoods."

Justice Rouhh hummed deeply and resonantly in thought. "We must consider that the Cathar Knighthood, if my memory serves me, descends directly from the Revanchist period of their history. It is innately tied to the Jedi Knighthood, regardless of the intervening secular usage of the term. One could argue that by nature it is a fraudulent institution, but that matter is not before us today, and so I would suggest that we find a way to neither legitimize nor illegitimize it in our record."

"Okay. And when was the last time a Jedi ever used the honorific 'sir'?" Justice Icks raised his hands, speaking with a harsh tone. "Go back a few dozen centuries, maybe you'll find one, but traditionally they're always referred to as Master Jedi. The mere honorific sir will never cause a good faith actor to interpret him as a member of the Jedi Order, and that's the matter before us, so that's what we should reason off of."

Scoralecta carefully looked over the other Justices, and then to the lawyers. "We'll let the objection stand. He will be entered into the record as Sir Nerim. Please refer to him as such for decorum, from now on."

"Of course, Your Honor," Ya-Ban nodded gracefully. Jethro turned to move back to the desk, winking, and Ya-Ban continued down his list. "And we can confirm that Miss Taranni—"

"Objection!" Jethro whipped around.

"Okay," Scoralecta sighed. "Let's hear it."

"It's a simple one," Jethro quickly deescalated, speaking calmly. "Her legal name is not Meetra Taranni anymore, nor is her proper honorific 'Miss'. Following her marriage and exit from the witness protection program, she is now Tetha Nerim. It's in her record."

The room went quiet as both the Justices and Jedi stared in shock. "Marriage?" The Chief Justice's beady eyes narrowed further, the ridge of fur that went from her brow to the tip of her ears making her seem exaggeratedly stern.

"The two were wed recently."

"How recently?"

"About three weeks ago, in a ceremony on Cathar."

Nerim sensed a small pang of panic from the Jedi Order's half of the room, and noticed Tetha grinning smugly. He followed her eyes to their destination, where he saw Chey-Linn staring at them, jaw dropped. That made him smile, too.

"That's—this is a sham!" The second Jedi Serviceman said from behind their desk.

"Excuse me," Pappino spoke for the first time, standing up to his full height—absolutely towering over even the judges on their elevated thrones. "When did Nerim and Tetha meet, exactly, and was it in fact an entire Standard year before he ever stepped foot on Cathar? I'll answer, yes, it was. And were they romantically inclined from this early period? I doubt very much that the Jedi will argue against that, considering that was one of their reasons for exiling him. So how exactly is it unexpected for them to marry? Raising objection to this is ridiculous on its face—obstructionist, even!"

"And casting aspersions on their marriage is highly offensive and against court decorum!" Jethro added.

Justice Rouhh's large dull green eyes scanned the holographic displays in front of him, and he nodded. "Their marriage is on record, as is her name change."

Justice Widdimur licked her paw and rubbed it against her cheek. "The timeline is airtight. No colorable argument can be made that the sole reason for this marriage is obstruction of justice. The matter is settled."

Ya-Ban sighed shortly through his nose. "Right. Then let's continue. We can confirm that Mrs. Nerim—"

"Objection!" Jethro had barely started climbing into his seat again.

Justice Icks placed a hand to his forehead. "Here we go..."

"She is also a Knight of Cathar!"

"And what is the proper honorific for a female Knight of Cathar?" Widdimur asked with placid sincerity.

"It is also Sir."

Thagrit cackled.

"You're pushing it, Mr. Geiger," the Chief Justice warned.

"We are not having two Sir Nerims in the same case," Icks said wearily. "Can we make the standard exception to refer to them by their first names?"

Jethro Geiger threaded his chubby fingers together. "The husband Sir Nerim does not have a first name."

"You've gotta be fucking kidding."

"The Jedi Order did not deign to give him a first name when they...requisitioned him from his parents moments after his birth."

All eyes turned to the Jedi Serviceman, who nervously swallowed.

 

[SirRolandTheFrank]

I see that the Cathar legal team is most proficient in the Dark Side of Lawyering and it's great. Tftc.

 

[Nomad-117]

Oh dear, this is gonna be fun.
The Jedi better hope that there aren't any cameras to live broadcast this whole trial. As it stands now it doesn't matter if they win or lose, their reputation will no doubt take a massive hit.

 

[TroubleFait]

"You've gotta be fucking kidding."

"The Jedi Order did not deign to give him a first name when they...requisitioned him from his parents moments after his birth."

All eyes turned to the Jedi Serviceman, who nervously swallowed.

Click to shrink...

Okay, I cackled.

At first I thought Jethro's whole plan to drown them in objections was imbecilic and counterproductive*. But it was all to lead us to this glorious moment, where the Justices' guards were down when he drops this bomb!

The Jedi better hope that there aren't any cameras to live broadcast this whole trial. As it stands now it doesn't matter if they win or lose, their reputation will no doubt take a massive hit.

Click to shrink...

That hope is dead:

Also attending were a number of assistants, stenographers, and what Nerim belatedly realized was a small media crew in the corner, with tiny remote camera droids ready to float for prime angles.

Click to shrink...

 

[waffelmeister]

Operation: Dumpster Fire is going well, it seems.

 

[Hyenanon]

As it stands now it doesn't matter if they win or lose, their reputation will no doubt take a massive hit.

Click to shrink...

Definitely an important aspect of this case, perhaps the most important in the eyes of some...

 

[Selias]

Oh boy. The public's not gonna like that. Not only did they take him before his parents could name him, but they didn't bother naming him themselves. I had forgotten about that.