The Innovative Fox [Transformers Prime Au, Inspired Inventor, Cybertronian SI OC}

KitsuneObsessedFreak · Oct 21, 2025

The Innovative Fox 01:

Bah-weep-Graaaaagnah wheep ni ni bong.

Or more Accurately: Greetings Earthlings~

Disclaimer:

This is a collaborative commission between KitsuneObseesedFreak and F3nn3l.

It is incredibly AU, due to the OCSI into a Cybertronian that has been around for a very long time before the story began.

Since this is an AU of Transformers Prime, be aware that things will change from time to time, and people will find themselves dealing with things that they normally wouldn't have. Especially as Akane is an Inspired Inventor type character, with a few hard limits.

I have it set to an exponential increase from 1-5 points, with one being able to create things at average quality, and 5 being godly, but 5 will be locked for quite some time. Which means Akane will only be able to create far future tech, not god-level tech.

Of course, she starts out with four points in Cybertronian tech, and will get one more point per chapter. Which will mean that she will eventually simply be the priority target for the Decepticons to capture, especially Starscream.

But hey, at least we have Fopformer genius in Transformers Prime, right?

There will be: Blood! Shed! Gimme a Reason to— Cough cough, I can't sing, but you get the point. It's a Transformers fic. Expect gratuitous robot violence.

~~~~

Akane would consider herself to be one of the best and brightest minds of the people of Cybertron. Her work in creating new methods of advanced transformation and ways to repair damaged Cybertronians had led to her discovering a need for more Energon. Something she was quick to attempt to rectify over the years, and she was actually quite successful in doing so.

Unfortunately, as with all things in all the lifetimes she had experienced, there was always someone who would get in the way of Scientific Progress.

Her weapons were charged, she had her data stashed away in places no one would be able to find them, and she was almost positive her research station on this backwater planet would never be found. Yet, despite all the methods she used — all the precautions she had taken — it was as though nothing she could do would shake the goons employed by Senator Proteus.

The reinforced bulkhead door began to melt, the combined firepower of the best and brightest of that bunch simply too much for the metal to handle. She knew she would need to run, to hide somewhere they wouldn't be able to find her so easily.

So that was what she did, she made her way to the stasis chambers, hearing the laughter of his goons as she did her best to hide among them until he left. She even hid on one of the chambers, waiting for him to pass by so she could leap out and disable him from behind, or even just one of his goons but…

"Aaaah, Akane, what a... pleasant surprise to see you here, on this backwater planet," Senator Proteus said on the intercom as the goons continued to look for her.

Because of course the Senator wouldn't be caught dead trying to eliminate a threat to his rule, he was just going to send his goons to do so.

"You seem to be in quite the predicament, Akane? What's the rush? Research not going well? Or maybe..." The Senator's voice gained a sinister tone as he hissed the following words. "You were about to do something... unwise."

"Oh slag, oh Primus, oh frag, I'm gonna be offlined here aren't I," Akane muttered to herself nervously as she shivered.

She wasn't much of a fighter, preferring to create rather than destroy, and it had created a few rather unfortunate tendencies in her to panic and become nervous when there was combat nearby. Sure, if she knew she was safe, she could remote control the defense systems to absolute precision, but she wasn't linked up to them at the moment… he was.

"Heh, Akane just surrender, it saves time for everyone," Proteus said with a mocking sigh. "You're just making it harder for yourself, hiding like this. Just give up and submit to Cybertronian justice."

Akane fully powered up her weapons as the goons rounded the corner, and her eyes widened as the pod locked her in place, and its stasis field powered up all around her.

"Ah scrap," Akane said, before she was fully put into stasis.

~~~~

"Aaaand done!" Proteus said smugly as he watched the security terminal that showed Akane being put into stasis. "With this, my monopoly on Energon and it's synthetic form is complete!"

For mega vorns, he had worked behind the scenes, manipulating the Cybertronian Senate to his whims. After all, only he had the knowledge, the skills, and the resolve to lead the Cybertronian Empire into a golden age.

An age of overflowing Energon, with incredible technological progress, worlds conquered in Cybertron's name, with him at the head of his glorious empire.

Of course, he wouldn't be at the forefront, he had the Senate for that. He preferred to manipulate things behind the scenes, to pluck the strings here and there to ensure that his rule stayed unopposed by the uncivilized masses.

A Cybertron where everyone stayed where they belonged, beneath him. A universe where all things served the whims of him, Senator Proteus.

After all, only he knew what's best for Cybertron and his colonies. Only he deserved to rule at the top of Cybertronian Society.

Unfortunately, that future could not exist if Akane was still alive. After all, she was the leading researcher for Synthetic Energon.

With her famous empathy and mercy she would release that discovery to the public!

Ergo, Akane needed to go.

"I'm sorry, Akane," The Senator said with a faux-apologetic tone as he deactivated the terminal and walked away, his goons activating the many explosive charges they scattered around the facility before leaving.

"You do not need to exist in the future that I am about to create."

The base detonated as they left, leaving nothing but rubble and ruin in its wake.

~~~~

"Kekekekeke!" a small, furry orange creature giggled as it poked its body into the controls of the stasis pod, waking her up from her deep slumber.

It was a cute, fluffy, fuzzy little thing that seemed curious and friendly. It was also probably dangerous for that little thing to be there.

She groaned, pushing the rubble away even as she scanned the life-form to see what it was, and compare it to anything she knew in her mind. Only one thing really stood out to her: it was a fox, something she hadn't seen in this entire lifetime.

Radio signals came from the cracks in the earth, and she knew she would have to find a better way to blend in than her Cybertronian flight form. She pouted, the Foxcopter as she called her form was cute, and she liked it. But looking at the fox once again, maybe she could do something with that form — or at least something similar — to give herself a better method to blend in?

Chuckling to herself, she stood, before crouching down and transforming, the sly fox slinking into the shadows as she slowly shifted her rusty alternate form into a more manageable fox form, with nine tails that were usually her rotor blades, and fur all over. It wasn't so hard to make such a thing, despite being so old and worn out, but she'd need Energon soon.

"Ugh, I could really use a pick me up right now…" she moaned as she dragged herself out of the collapsed caves, and out into a rocky desert canyon.

Slowly but surely, she made her way to the nearest signs of civilization. By climbing the sheer cliffs to the top and collapsing on a paved walkway when she ran out of energy to move.

Right as a motorcycle slammed into her side, sending the motorcycle flying, before it transformed.

"What the— Optimus! We have a Beastformer here! Returning to base for immediate medical attention!"

Akane's optics blinked, before slowly powering down.

~~~~

"This is bad Optimus, her systems are failing and I don't think that she's going to live past this morning. She needs Energon, and stat."

"This is bad, is there no other way, Ratchet?"

"... The Energon Repair Ray, it's the only way to save her."

"The same one that only has one charge?"

"Indeed, I would have recommended an IV to slowly trickle Energon into her system to repair all the damage, but in her current state, the Energon Repair Ray is needed."

"I see, then do what must be done Ratchet."

"Activating the Energon Repair Ray now."

~~~~

When her systems came fully back online, Akane felt rather hollow. Sure, whatever these friendly Cybertronians had done had definitely saved her, but she still felt as though she had found her life's work stolen from her, her research outposts destroyed, and had the odd feeling that something was incredibly wrong with the area she was in.

She sat up, transforming smoothly as she did so to get a good look around the facility with her own eyes. Though she found she had a strange urge to sniff everything, likely a remnant of the programming involved in scanning a living being.

Soon, she came to a stop before someone she had known for a while. Someone she had worked with a few times… "Ratchet? That you?" she asked, looking over him carefully as she did.

His Bio-lights were off, so she knew he must be starving. He also looked like he had seen better days, and Akane knew he could use some more Energon soon. Judging by how empty she felt, she was going to need to start focusing in on finishing her project right away.

"Akane... It really is you," Ratchet said in relief as he monitored Akane's vital signs. "You disappeared for so long, we thought that you perished somewhere. To think that you were on Earth this whole time..."

"Was caught by Senator Proteus, shoved into a Stasis Pod, and my base was blown to hell around me," Akane sighed. "You know how it is. He came with an army, I panicked, and I got shoved in a box for later. Only, they were hoping I'd just rust away, alone and forgotten to time."

"Well you will be glad to know that Senator Proteus was executed by Starscream, alongside the rest of the senate," Ratchet said with a scoff. "Good riddance to bad rubbish, I never did like the scrapbot anyway, he's too shady for his own good."

"Starscream did it?" Akane barked in confusion. "I'm surprised the brat had it in him. Good on him though."

After a moment, she chuckled. "Orion still around these days?"

Ratchet stilled for a few moments, before he chuckled.

"See for yourself," he said as he activated a terminal. "Optimus, our guest is awake."

"Optimus?" Akane asked, "That's a new—"

She looked at him, squinted a little, and tilted her head. "Ah, Orion. Been a while big guy."

"Indeed," Orion Pax, no, Optimus now, said in relief. "It's good to see you, Akane, I am glad you still function, and are on Earth like the rest of us."

"You're lucky that Arcee stumbled across you, you were hours away from going offline," Ratchet said with a wince, "We had to use the Energon Repair Ray to stabilize you as well, and with our dwindling supply, using it one more time would be... Unwise."

"Worrying, yes, but remember Ratchet, Earth has pockets of Energon scattered throughout it's crust, we only need to mine it, with permission of course," Optimus said with a sigh. "Something to notify the human authorities then, I will speak with Special Agent William Fowler about this."

"Hmph, after he rants about our actions and the need to keep ourselves hidden," Ratchet said with a scoff. "I understand the secrecy, but he is quite abrasive for someone so... fragile."

"Ratchet..." Optimus sighed and shook his head. "Please don't antagonize Special Agent Fowler when he arrives for his monthly check-up, please?"

Ratchet only shook his head with a grunt.

"So, if we are in dire need of Energon, I suppose I should get to work on finishing the synthetic variant huh," Akane nodded, shaking her head with a small smile. "Give me a week or two, maybe a month if I don't have the proper tools left in my base intact, and we'll have at least something to work with, even if it won't be the greatest."

Optimus and Ratchet looked at Akane in hope.

"H-How close was that project to completion?" Ratchet asked hopefully. "There were data cylinders sent out into space before the war, but if we can independently recreate the formula somehow—"

"Ratchet, calm yourself, Akane still needs to recuperate from her millennia of stasis," Optimus reminded Ratchet who nodded. "It's better to ask Akane about the formula for Synthetic Energon once she has time to recover."

"I am fine enough to work, Optimus. We don't have time to waste," Akane told him, poking him in the leg.

Optimus sighed.

"Damn workaholic scientist," He grumbled under his breath, which caused Ratchet to scoff.

"You don't have any right to say something like that, Optimus," Ratchet said with a small laugh as Optimus shook his head in amusement.

It was good to see that her friends were still around and decently well. But what was this about a war?

~~~~

AN:

Stormy: Transformers... God it's been a long while since I thought about this series... Nice to finally have an excuse to think about this series again.

Kitsu: I never thought I would be commissioned for Transformers, but here we are.

Woolodin: It was a blast being part of the writing of this and I probably would have commissioned sooner if the Transformers Fanfics I watch stopped updating sooner overall a blast.

Stormy: One thing though, I really, really enjoyed writing Senator Proteus here, he's just the kind of slimy, amoral, absolutely must get punched in the face Politician that I want to ruin.

Kinda sad that he's already dead by the time the story starts, but I'll take his offscreen death and run with it. Sentinel though...

Hehehehehe...

Checks

Nevermind, he's dead as well. Ah well.

Kitsu: Okay, we have a fun shenanigan here, and we will hopefully get more of this soon. This was done via my server linked at https://aikoakiyoshi.carrd.co/ and both myself and F3nn3l, whose Ko-Fi you can find here and carrd website here are more than willing to take commissions from people as they come.

That's all from me. Thanks for reading, and Stay Fluffy!

KitsuneObsessedFreak · Oct 21, 2025

The Innovative Fox 02:

"Ratchet, the calculations are off by six point three percent," Akane pointed to his screen as she poked at the air with the cane they had given to her. "I would tell you how bad that would be myself, but it would be funnier to watch you try to make that variant of synthetic Energon and fuck yourself up. Just make sure you have enough of the real Synthetic Energon on hand to not just end up committing self-termination."

"Wait, that can't be right," Ratchet said as he blinked and looked at the screen and tapped a few buttons. "I was sure that all the variables are exactly as you made them, why would the calculations be off by that much?"

"Do you have a proper matrix core in that computer?" Akane asked with a tilt of her head, putting the cane back down and leaning on it. "You'll need to be calculating to the millionth of a percent to get it completely right, on every single number and equation."

"By the Pit, no, these are computers provided by our human benefactors," Ratchet said with a small grunt. "I did all I could to make these as accurate as possible but we're working with primitive technology here, I'm a mere medical professional, not a scientist."

Ratchet banged at the computer for a few moments before finally going back to making more calculations.

"Sorry Akane, I'm just frustrated," Ratchet said with a sigh.

"It's fine," Akane grunted, making her way over to the computers. "Give me ten minutes, I'll try to reconfigure them to do what I need to do."

"... Alright," Ratched said as he gave Akane full access to the computer before he blinked. "Are you talking about Cybertronian minutes, or human minutes, Akane?"

"You know me," Akane grunted, pulling apart the computer with her tools and moving some of the chips around while it was still running, "Sixty seconds, as usual Ratchet."

"... Is it Cybertronian seconds, or human seconds?" Ratchet asked again, this time more carefully.

"Earth seconds. As always," Akane told him, flicking him with one of her tails. "Don't be a brat."

"... Okay, that's just a low blow right there, Akane," Ratchet said with a wince before he walked out. "I'll check our Energon supplies for a bit and see if we still have enough for the future, I'll be back after that."

With that out of the way, she got to work properly. And oh boy was there a lot of work to do.

After a moment, she came up to a part that confused her greatly: the central processing unit was attached by thin wires soldered into the machine instead of properly socketed in, and hanging by a thin metal chain. "What the actual frag?" Akane asked, looking at that in horrid fascination. "Ratchet! What the frag did you do to this poor machine! No wonder why it can't calculate for slag, it's been lobotomized!"

"Don't look at me! The humans did this! They thought that doing this would, frag if I know!" Ratchet said with a small scoff. "I don't even know why in the pit they thought that was a good idea! They're still incapable of creating AI, for starters! Shameful! Shameful, I say!"

Akane grumbled, getting to work removing all the wires and shoving it into its proper place after cleaning it up a bit, but not before taking some pictures. A few moments later, as she looked at the rest of the motherboard, her optics closed in frustration.

"What kind of monkeigh would do this to their companion! This is ridiculous!" Akane shouted, taking another set of pictures and groaning. "I can't tell if they're just malfunctioning or if they're actively trying to sabotage you!"

"I don't think that they consider these... computers as companions, more tools to do their calculations," Ratchet said with a small grunt. "They have small quadrupedal companions that they consider as pets they call... dogs, and cats. Computers are tools to them, and as I said, they're still incapable of creating AI. For now at least."

"I really hope that they can tell me what the frag was going on in their tiny little minds," Akane groaned as she finished up in there. "Because I pulled out sixty feet of wire that was completely unnecessary and resoldered all the chips in a more efficient order, and I guarantee that it will run the calculations we need to do smoothly now."

"Thank Primus," Ratchet said with a small groan. "Give me a few moments to finish cataloging our Energon stores before we go back to making calculations."

"Alright," Akane sighed, putting the mess of cables down near the computer and taking another picture. "I sure as the pit hope that this slag is useful for something, and that the rest of the equipment here is in a better state."

"At least we have something like this, Primus knows we'll have to fix up the Ground Bridge as well," Ratchet said with hum of thought. "Optimus wanted to get more of our Autobot allies into this world and having a functioning Space Bridge would help in that endeavor."

Akane nodded. "I'll help with that as well. It should be simple once we have the Synthetic Energon necessary for this."

And it really would be. Now she just had to wait for the calculations to finish. After that? Well, she would certainly like to give the humans a piece of her mind while making them work to help build it.

~~~~

"By Primus, you did it..." Ratchet said with wide eyes as he looked at the formulae for Synthetic Energon on the screen. "We now have the formula for Synthetic Energon... I don't know what to say..."

"What can I say, besides, you're welcome~" Akane sang as she laughed at him a little.

"With this, we no longer need to rely on looking for Energon caches on Earth," Ratchet said with a sigh of relief. "We just need the facilities to make Synthetic Energon as well, and the chemicals too..."

And that was the big problem, the fact that the Autobots don't have the capability or the facilities to create Synthetic Energon at their current state. However...

"We will need Bulkhead's construction expertise to expand our base of operations for Synthetic Energon production," Ratchet said with a hum of thought. "It is possible to use geothermal energy to create Synthetic Energon, which means we need to find a geothermal vent close to our base to turn into a production facility."

"You planning to make a Manufactorum here on Earth?" Akane chuckled. "Might as well introduce humanity to the Cold Certainty of Steel while you're at it."

"Akane no, let's not antagonize the humans that much," Ratchet said with a small, suffering sigh.

"Akane yes!" the crazy woman cackled.

~~~~

"... Primus preserve us," Optimus said with a sigh. "Akane, are you sure that this is a good idea to just dig down? RIGHT under our base?"

"Yes!" Akane cackled, looking as though she was doing her best to balance on his trailer. "If we do this, we hit the biggest vent in the area, without brining all that much attention to us at all! And then we can have all the Energon we can really use, even if it is synthetic."

"Are you sure that we'll be hidden from all surveillance when we do this? Geothermal energy usually shows up as heat in a ton of readings," Optimus pointed out as he continued to drive down the tunnel that Bulkhead and Bumblebee had dug, with Arcee keeping an eye on things while Cliffjumper handled tools and made sure they were in top condition.

"No?" Akane chuckled, "But we'll be pretty safe because the entire area is already lit up from the heat just under the surface of the base, and we can contact the government to set up Geothermal plants right nearby that can account for and hide our usage of such. It's why I asked you to get a hold of your agent friend, Opppy boy~"

"Agent Fowler was most suspicious about our actions under the base," Optimus pointed out. "But given that his government gave control of the base to us, his hands are tied. He did mention that it would take some time before the immediate area can be converted into their own geothermal plants to cover our Synthetic Energon production."

Optimus hummed thoughtfully.

"Akane, do you think it would be prudent if we limit production for just the seven of us?" Optimus asked. "Until we can create a manufactorum to restore our more powerful weapons, we cannot allow attention to fall upon our base of operations."

"We can limit it to slightly beyond, so we have reserves for the Ground Bridge you have set up here or for emergencies, yes," Akane nodded, her tails wagging a little as she spoke. "But only until the humans build their Geothermal plant, as we'll need to ramp up production underground with their help until we're at a point where we can actually start helping them more."

"... You want to share Synthetic Energon with the humans," Optimus realized. "Scale up their technology to something closer to our own. Akane, they just reached their moon a few decades ago, if we uplift them now—"

"It's not like I would be uplifting them entirely, Optimus," Akane chuckled. "I would be pointing them in a potential direction, yes, and showing them how to produce more Synthetic Energon for purposes they wish to try using it for, but for the most part, I simply wish for them to be able to reach some interesting conclusions."

She chuckled at him some more, before poking him with her cane. "And maybe help them find ways to defend their planet better, in case we one day need to leave them behind."

Optimus hummed thoughtfully, before sighing.

"... You have a point, Akane, I just worry," Optimus said with a small sigh. "Humanity is capable of great good, and great evil, and I just fear that they would give in to instinct rather than reason and decency when given power."

Akane looked at him as though she was seeing right through him, to the very core of his spark, "… Are we not the same, Orion?"

Orion Pax did not reply for a few moments.

"... We must all have the opportunity to rise above our current state to become better," Orion Pax decided, the former dock worker turned archivist and now Leader of the Autobots returning for a few moments. "However, Akane, I still advise caution on who has access to Synthetic Energon. If we wish to have the humans as our allies, we cannot have them be divided by petty squabbles."

"Of course," Akane giggled. "We can discuss with the world leaders and make allies of the people, and hopefully unite them against a common enemy until they can learn to work together for the sake of it."

Optimus chuckled.

"You always err to the positive side of things, Akane," Optimus said. "It is great to see you again, even if it's in circumstances such as this."

"When one loses their optimism, their hope, then can you say they haven't already lost?" Akane chuckled. "I may be a coward, but I will never stop fighting in my own way."

Optimus chuckled.

"Hopefully there are other Autobots out there that can join us here in our new home," Optimus said.

CLANG!

"Bulkhead! I needed that!" the two of them heard Ratchet shouting from the dig site. "Can you be more careful with where you're walking next time?!"

"Sorry! My bad!"

"I better go help Rachet repair that," Akane sighed, her shoulders slumping as she palmed her face.

"That would be wise," Optimus said with a small snicker.

~~~~

AN:

Stormy: I love the fact that Orion Pax and Optimus Prime can be distinct parts of the same person. That shit gets me hype as fuck.

Woolodin: This took way to slagging long to make way to long. Hopefully the next does not take as long.

Kitsu: We were waiting on you quite a bit because it's generally better when you're there to meme with us and spout lore at us to make it better. If you were free sooner, we would have been done sooner indeed.

Stormy: I honestly enjoyed writing with somebody that knows their stuff. It makes ideas flow better, and gives an easy target to hate on. Like that Primus-damned Senator...

Kitsu: We have a shenanigan here for you: come join us and talk about the story with us on my Discord at https://aikoakiyoshi.carrd.co/

For example, if you liked this story and want to see more of it faster? Toss cash at me and F3n/Stormy. If you didn't and want to see something different? Toss cash at us to make you a fic that is all about your desires, that is filled with the things you wish to see.

Or if you just want to help keep us fed? Well, our links will be here, plz do help us out.

Your links Stormy?

Stormy: Ah yea, links. I now have my own Carrd! It's https://f3nn3lcorgiii.carrd.co (I have a carrd now, yay!), so feel free to throw stuff at me there! I'm still at Kitsu's server though, so if you're in there, feel free to look for Fennel's Field of Fox.

It is barren. Ehe.

KitsuneObsessedFreak · Nov 2, 2025

The Innovative Fox 03:

"That took a bit of time to finish," Cliffjumper remarked as he stretched himself, the newly completed Energon Refinery humming like a well-oiled machine. Green Energon cubes slowly stacked themselves into a neat pile. "We finally have a nice supply of Energon for consumption, thank Primus for that."

"Heheha!" Akane cackled. "And now for my biggest plan of all~ We shall take over the entire universe, by making a Super Bigmac Laser~"

She looked at him with a smile. "I kid, but wouldn't it be funny?"

"... What's a Super Bigmac Laser?" Cliffjumper asked in confusion.

"It spreads McDonalds Bigmac sauce across the stars!" she giggled. "It's a funny human invention, so I thought it would be silly to say it for the fun of it."

"... Don't you mean WcDonalds?" Ratchet asked as he brought the Energon Repair Ray with him. "Also, why in Primus' name do you want to do that?"

"I was just kidding," Akane waved it off. "It was something silly to say for the memes. Because human memes are superior."

"... Primus damn it, Akane, were you watching human memes in your spare time again?" Ratchet asked.

"Yes!" Akane said, jumping up and down a little as she waved the cane a bit. "It is great, and I've learned a lot about humanity by studying them.

After a moment, she leaned in towards Cliffjumper. "Did you know that humans can pack bond with literally anything? Even a goddamn rock! It's silly as hell!"

Ratchet sighed.

"Akane, we're supposed to hide in plain sight, not meme with the general populace," Ratchet groaned with a sigh of frustration.

"But isn't memeing in plain sight exactly, what we should be doing?" Akane asked with a tilt of her head. "It will help us blend in and feel more human to them after all~"

"Akane, memeing is not a real word," Optimus said in slight frustration as he walked inside, a sigh on his voice. "At least in your current parlance."

"Optimus, don't encourage the gremlin over there," Ratchet groaned.

Akane poked the air with her cane, "I speak Engrish just fine, Ari-thank you-gozaimasu."

Optimus visibly cringed as Ratchet hissed under his breath.

"Uuuuuh, I'm just gonna go now," Cliffjumper said as he slowly tiptoed out of the chamber. "You three do whatever, I guess."

"Naaaar! I need you to come help me pick through my old lab!" Akane giggled, reaching an arm around him and patting his opposite shoulder to show she was mostly being silly still.

"But I want to-" Cliffjumper started, but Optimus shook his head.

"Cliffjumper, we need somebody to keep an eye on Akane just in case," Optimus stated as Ratchet began to fill up the Energon Repair Ray. "Bulkhead, Bumblebee and Arcee will stay with us to help recharge our Energon weapons with our current stock."

"... Alright..." Cliffjumper sighed, slumping in despair as he resigned himself to be a baggage carrier.

"Woooo! Let's goo!" she grinned, using her cane to wave around in the air excitedly.

"Primus kill me, free me from this torment," Cliffjumper moaned in despair.

"If you do, please take me with you," Ratchet deadpanned.

"Primus can't hear you right now~" Akane giggled. "Would you like me to leave a message for you~?"

"Please leave a message after the beep," Optimus fragging Prime said with utter deadpan.

Ratchet and Cliffjumper looked at Optimus in shock.

"... Did... Did Optimus just-" Cliffjumper asked in horror.

"Crack a joke?" Ratchet as he stepped back in fear.

Optimus looked at the two of them and sighed.

"I can crack a joke, you blockheads," Optimus grunted with exasperation. "What do you take me for, Megatron?"

"Haha, no one could mistake you and him," Akane grinned.

After a moment, she motioned forwards. "But yeah, let's gooooooo~!"

"I am never gonna psychologically recover from this," Cliffjumper moaned in despair.

"Bulkhead thinks that you just need to go with the flow," Bulkhead remarked as he walked inside with some Energon weapons. "Besides, look at the bright side, you get to go out today!"

"I hate you, Bulkhead."

"That's what you say on the outside, but on the inside—"

"Get to work, you two," Optimus ordered with a sigh of annoyance.

~~~~

When they finally arrived at her base, the foxxo form coming in rather handy to dig for her secret entrance, Akane slipped in to sniff around and find anything they might be able to use. Scanners, she had scanners. So she did her best to use them.

"Sniff, sniff," Akane said as she wandered in and looked at piles of scrap in her vulpine form.

"... Akane, did you literally just say 'sniff, sniff'?" Cliffjumper asked incredulously as he helped dig around the place.

"I'm sniffing for components," Akane barked. "Because foxes are supposed to use their noses."

"... Is that how they work?" Cliffjumper asked curiously. "Still, we haven't found anything yet that seems useful, are you sure that any of your components and gadgets have survived throughout the millennia?"

Akane transformed and grabbed a funny key off a shelf. "This is useful," she tossed it at him. "And there are several boxes of buried raw materials under that pile you're digging through. Useful shit for us indeed."

She sniffed the air again. "My weapons facility is also just straight up intact," she told him, her big floppy radar panning towards the wall. "And rather ready to shake the rust off, apparently."

"Why does a science lab have a weapons facility this extensive?" Cliffjumper asked curiously as he caught the funny key before his eyes widened.

"Akane, why do you have a Spark Regenerator Key just hanging around in your lab?" Cliffjumper asked with wide eyes. "Wait, never mind, you made these, makes sense you would have one of these things lying around."

"Yup~" she giggled, making her way into the weapons facility, patting her fusion canon as she looked at the sparkling Teletraan Terminal. "And it looks like my baby kept herself clean for me all these years~"

"I'm amazed that the Teletraan Terminal is still functioning after all this time," Cliffjumper stated with wide eyes. "All of them were shut down during the Exodus, so finding a functional one is amazing."

"My baby wouldn't shut down when some bozo told it to terminate all functions~" Akane giggled. "She's too Autistic and OCD for that."

She picked up the Vortex Generator Grenade from the production slot. "Don't use this too close to the planet. Everyone too close will die, you know?"

"... How close are we talking about here?" Cliffjumper asked cautiously as he gingerly took the grenade from Akane's hand.

"It makes a tiny black hole for a few seconds," Akane told him. "Use at your own risk, when everything else is fragged."

"... Akane, this is a Dimensional Decimator Grenade," Cliffjumper said with wide optics. "Are you sure that having one of these with us is a good idea?"

"I mean, yeah? You can keep it," Akane grinned. "Just don't use it too close to your allies, and don't fumble your throw. Anyone gets in the blast radius and they'll definitely be offlined."

"Though," Akane pouted. "I still like the name Vortex Generator Grenade better. It's more accurate, you know?"

"... I'm just gonna keep this in a safe place and hope that I will never have to use this," Cliffjumper said with a sigh as he placed the grenade inside of his subspace.

Akane walked over to him, picking up her fusion cannon and installing it to replace her old Pathblaster. "Welp, we'll need some special equipment, and probably Optimus if we want to move this back to base piece by piece, unless we want to just restore my old base? So we'd have to poke him to find out the plan… Maybe let's go grab him to take a look?"

Cliffjumper nodded and stuck a digit on his audio receptor, "I'll give him a call."

~~~~

"So there I am on the lookout when out of nowhere these high beams light up my rear view, and then it hits me! I'm illegally parked!" Cliffjumper said as he drove off during his patrol, his comms online with the rest of the Autobot squad.

Only Arcee was in comms though...

And Akane, don't forget about Akane.

"Another parking ticket?" Arcee asked amusedly.

"Better. The boot." Cliffjumper said with amusement.

"Big metal tire clamp, impossible to remove?" Arcee asked as she drove on her patrol.

"Bingo! The local police do that thing and get me all the way down by a block. That's when I kick up my new shiny shoe and BANG!" Cliffjumper gesticulated as well as he could while in vehicle form.

"New York's finest soil themselves."

"Ha!" Akane audibly grinned. "It sounds like you got them good Cliffy boy~"

"Damn straight!" Cliffjumper crowed with an amused huff. "You know me, Arcee, - Mess with Cliffjumper —"

"And you get the horns." Arcee finished as she turned a corner. "Not sure how that complies with Autobot rule number one — 'Keep a low profile?'"

"It doesn't?" Akane asked, "But humans will justify anything. They probably thought they saw a ghost!"

"True that," Cliffjumper grunted. "Besides, what can I say? Patrolling for Energon, ACTUAL Energon out here is dull and gets me all on lonesome. Almost makes me miss the Decepticons."

Arcee scoffed audibly in comms.

"Like Jasper, Nevada's a party? We're alone wherever we travel on this rock, Cliff."

"I mean, humans have satellites Arcee," Akane chuckled. "And planes and such. I have no doubt they've caught you both several times in the past."

Cliffjumper was about to reply, but his GPS beeped incessantly. Any sort of reply he was about to make was immediately wiped from his processors when he realized what that meant.

"I'm getting a signal," he said as he drove faster.

"You need backup?" Arcee asked, with Cliffjumper chuckling before he replied.

"Do I ever need backup?" he snarked with amusement as he transformed at the edge of a massive crater.

A crater filled with Energon crystals.

"... Well damn, I just found a whole lot of Energon," Cliffjumper said in comms.

"Come again, Cliffjumper? You said you found Energon?" Arcee asked.

"Yeah, a whole lot of the—" Cliffjumper remarked before a shadow was cast over Cliffjumper form.

He looked up, and he growled as a familiar ship appeared.

The Nemesis.

"Decepticons!" Cliffjumper growled over the comms as one of Nemesis' guns opened fire at Cliffjumper, the resulting impact and explosion blowing Cliffjumper down into the crater.

"Use explosives! They are great at clearing out groups of enemies!" Akane called back over the comms.

"I'm TRYING!" Cliffjumper screamed as he slowly got up from being prone, before he saw the Vehicons disembark from the ship.

"... Arcee..." Cliffjumper tensed as his hand slowly went to the Dimensional Decimator Grenade in his subspace as his other hand formed into one of his triple-barreled Energon Blasters. "About that backup?"

The Vehicons tensed as he prepared for combat. In the back of his mind, he could hear Arcee in comms asking Optimus for backup. However, he knew that Optimus and the others wouldn't make it in time.

However...

His optics scanned the Vehicons attempting to surround him as he fired a few shots at his foes. Some of his shots hit the Vehicons, even as his other hand grabbed the grenade.

"You know what? Frag this," Cliffjumper growled as he primed the Dimensional Decimator Grenade and threw it towards the Nemesis and transformed himself back to vehicle mode and drove away.

"Akane, a question, what's the blast radius for the grenade?" he asked nervously in comms.

"Essentially yes," Akane told him bluntly. "Fucking drive."

Cliffjumper drove like a cyberbat out of the pit.

Just as the grenade exploded, forming a black hole that sucked at everything in sight.

"OH FRAAAAAAAAG!" He screamed as he transformed and jumped at a boulder, holding on for dear life. "FRAG! FRAG! FRAAAAAAG!"

~~~~

AN:

Stormy: That poor bastard. At least he's not gonna die like in canon tho.

Woolodin: This fic is kinda cursed not too long in to the making of this Chapter My Headset Cord Died
Hopefully the next chapter takes a shorter amount of time.

Kitsu: Dude, temper your expectations. We have other fics we need to work on that we're being paid a lot more for, so we kinda have priorities. Plus we generally have IRL things to deal with as well, and the reason we didn't finish this one literally on the day you paid was because of the headphone thing.

Stormy: To be fair, I think Woolo has a point on the cursed part. I got hit by an earthquake after all. Five of them to be exact over the course of a week.

Woolodin: Im aware i mostly just want to see if the fic is indeed cursed, so im trying to tempt fate.

Kitsu: Ar nar! Plz dun do that, because I got seriously sick this week and had to force myself to work even though a Geomagnetic storm knocked me on my ass while I was almost puking my guts out from sickness in the background of working on other things.

Stormy: ... I'm getting an exorcist.

... ANYHOW. I now have a carrd! Yaysies! Here's the link! Gib this Corgi Crow a snackies.

KitsuneObsessedFreak · Nov 9, 2025

So f3n/ @Stormy Crow did a dumb shit and posted a chapter early without telling me. Now I'm stuck playing catchup because he can't even communicate properly.

Give him a spanking for me, will you guys?

The Innovative Fox 04:

"FRAG! FRAAAAAAAAAG!" Cliffjumper screamed as he held on for dear fucking life. "This is NOT going to fucking end well! How long do those grenades last again!?"

He looked behind him as the ship groaned and buckled under the force of the black hole, turrets and armor plating ripping away as the singularity swallowed everything around it.

Cliffjumper didn't know how long he held on to the boulder, time had a funny thing when black holes are concerned where the concept seemed to stretch almost into eternity.

And then, almost as fast as the black hole appeared when he used the grenade, it vanished.

The Nemesis made its retreat after keeling over its starboard side.

Cliffjumper sighed in utter relief and slumped against the boulder.

"Frag, that was way too close," he groaned as he took a moment to exhaust and get over the fact that he almost fragging DIED due to black hole. "By Primus' spark, I fragging MISS my Glass Gas..."

Such a shame, really. If he had that beauty of a weapon...

"Haah, could've taken those Vehicrons by myself," he groaned as he slowly stood up and surveyed the damage, before wincing.

"Ah scrap, dislocated my shoulder," he groaned as he rolled it experimentally before he winced. "Frag, need Ratchet to take a look at it."

Still... The grenade did a TON of damage. Said damage being a second crater that made the first crater bigger.

"... We're gonna have to explain this to the humans, frag," Cliffjumper facepalmed with a grunt as he rolled his shoulders. "Ah well! That's Optimus' problem, not mine."

It's at this point that Cliffjumper heard the Ground Bridge opening behind him and turned around as Optimus, Ratchet, Arcee and Bulkhead charged out, weapons bared.

"Cliffjumper! Are you alright!?" Optimus asked as he looked at Cliffjumper's condition, "Ratchet—"

"Already done, he's okay save for a dislocated shoulder," Ratchet said with a grunt as Optimus sighed.

"Right, let us return to base for now to get Cliffjumper repaired," Optimus ordered as he pressed a finger on his audio receptor. "Akane, open a Ground Bridge on our current location."

The Ground Bridge opened immediately, showing that either she had been working on its responsiveness, or she had anticipated their needs.

"Right, let's return before you make that report, Cliffjumper, I want to know everything that happened here," Optimus ordered as Bulkhead and Arcee did overwatch, Ratchet kept tabs on Cliffjumper, and Optimus gazed at the destruction before returning to base.

~~~~

Soundwave silently made his way over to the bridge of the Nemesis. He could tell that Starscream was going to bee in a rather poor mood — he could feel it — but he was still honor bound to help the conniving little scraplet due his duty while Megatron was out building an army.

The fact that Starscream had managed to somehow utterly wreck the Nemesis while on a rather routine mission was annoying to say the least, but it was nothing compared to the fact that he was going to have to deal with the aftermath for him most likely.

Because Starscream may have been second in command to Megatron, but that was only because he was slightly more competent than a Vehicon. Slightly.

"SOUNDWAVE!" the ignoramus screamed, as though he was somehow not standing nearly directly in front of the bot's face.

"What the frag happened to my ship!?" Starscream screeched, the childish whining never ceasing for a moment as he complained about the consequences of his own actions.

Soundwave was used to this by now. So what he replied with was footage from the sensors and cameras on the hull, as well as yet more footage from a nearby satellite he had hijacked in his spare time.

Useful things, the humans created. Rather interesting that they came up with something that really only benefited him, instead of helping them much at all. And without any prodding on his part at that.

It almost made him wonder if that old coot Akane was on to something when she set up an outpost on this planet all those years ago. Still made him chuckle inside whenever he waltzed through there and relived old memories from a time long past.

'Memes, the DNA of the Soul' indeed. He was fond of these memes the humans came up with. It was a welcome distraction from Starscream.

"Soundwave!? We need to make repairs! Can the Nemesis make Transwarp?! We need to make repairs immediately! Soundwave!? Are you paying attention to me!?" Starscream complained in the most Starscream way possible, by living up to his name fully.

Primus, he'd be able to hear the coward from the next star over. So he simply showed Starscream an image of a thumbs up emoji, flickered it to a middle finger emoji for barely a fraction of a second — even though he knew Starscream wouldn't know the meaning — and back to a thumbs up.

"What the frag was that, Soundwave?" Starscream asked with a growl as he looked out in space. "We need to go to the Asteroid Belt to mine material for the ship, I am NOT going to allow the Autobots to get one over on me!"

Soundwave shrugged, playing a tune from the radio that somewhat fit the theme of how he felt as he waved his hand at the controls, pointing out that Starscream was the one in command of the ship.

Sixteen tons, the humans called it. Good song, and made him feel a bit better about making sure Starscream got the full blame.

Because there was no fragging way he was going to get in trouble for wrecking the ship even further.

"Which reminds me! Soundwave! Increase global surveillance!"

Was he retarded? The humans had the perfect word for this level of idiocy.

Did he not realize that he was connected to their entire Primus damned datanet already? If anything happened on that world he was the first to know about it…

It wasn't worth arguing with stupid, because it was unfortunately a terminal illness that could not be cured. Instead, he flashed a green checkmark and sent some of the Vehicons that had been randomly patrolling to go harass the nearest human city to the site they had fought at.

It would probably make Starscream shut up at least. For a little while… Possibly. Maybe.

"Good! Now, let us leave this backwater planet to repair the ship! I want the Nemesis to be repaired before the next solar cycle!"

That, was going to be impossible. Especially with Starscream's terrible piloting skills.

How one could fly so well on their own, yet be incapable of piloting anything, Soundwave would never know.

Case in point, the various scrapes and groans as asteroids impacted the ship while they were looking for materials.

"FRAG IT! These Primus-fragged controls aren't working properly! Soundwave! Fix this!"

Soundwave sighed. This was going to be one of those days.

~~~~

Akane was a little miffed. Someone had been fragging around with her new team, and she wasn't happy about it.

It had been a long time since she pulled on her internal circuits, and used the power granted to her to gain access to knowledge she truly shouldn't have, but she was going to allow herself to cheat again… Optimus needed her power, and so did Ratchet. She couldn't just leave her boys hanging in the dust…

Speaking of dust, she had the perfect idea for a synergistic tech tree she could mess with. She had a few points she could spend, as they had been accumulating recently with her actually being awake and active, so she could afford to play with them a bit.

Akane peered down at Cliffjumper and Optimus from her comfortable perch in the rafters. Didn't that Cliffjumper boy like war crime weapons or something? She remembered hearing something like that from Arcee in their free time.

Hmmm…

She spent three points in RWBY tech, which included even the manufacturing of dust crystals, which could be used as a whole new type of war crime weapon. Those would be so hyper effective against most things in this universe it wasn't even funny.

On top of this, it included Mechashift technology, which would enhance their already absurd Transformation technology with redundancies and upgrades that flowed into her mind like hydric acid to a fish's gills. Even weapons that could change form just like themselves, and ammunition types that they normally would never dream of flowed within her circuits until she finally had what she needed.

Turning her attention back to the conversation below her, she smirked and waited for a lull that would allow her to bring up the topic she had in mind.

"Optimus, the Primus-damned ship is here, the fragging Nemesis—" Cliffjumper groaned as Ratchet patched up his injured shoulder.

"Calm down, Cliffjumper. If you want, we can wait until you calm down before you make your report." Ratchet grumped as he gave Cliffjumper some Synthetic Energon for his shoulder.

"Right... Right, I'm good, I just need to breathe..." Cliffjumper sighed as he took time to compose himself.

There was a lull in the main room for a few moments before Cliffjumper continued.

"The Nemesis has made its way to Earth, it's possible they've intercepted one of your comms again, Optimus," Cliffjumper stated as his shoulder slowly healed. "I managed to drive them off with a Dimensional Decimator Grenade—"

"Wait, time out," Arcee interrupted as she looked at Cliffjumper in shock. "Where the hell did you get one of those? I don't remember having a Dimensional Decimator Grenade in our armory!"

"Akane's lab, she had one of them in the ruins alongside a few other things," Cliffjumper said as he rolled his shoulder experimentally. "She should have a full report for you I think."

"I've already compiled that and made the report while you were busy patrolling, Cliffjumper," Akane chuckled, dropping down from where she was hiding. "It's not that hard to tell an old friend that they might have a good chance of getting bigger guns if we can find the materials."

After a moment, she grinned, placing a hand on her hips, "And speaking of bigger guns, I'll be working on an old project of mine I had to keep under the wraps, to get us something to better defend ourselves with in the future. Especially now that it looks like we're gonna need it."

"Thank you, Akane, that would be much appreciated," Optimus stated with a small sigh. "On my end, I will need to make a report to Special Agent Fowler about this development."

Optimus nodded towards Akane at this.

"We also agreed to share how to create Synthetic Energon to the US Government and give them a little nudge on how to use it," he finished as he looked towards the rest of the Autobots.

Ratchet, Cliffjumper, and the rest of the Autobots nodded.

"For now, Akane, can you create a primer on Synthetic Energon creation for the humans?" Optimus asked. "And probably some pointers on how it can be used for energy production."

"Already on it, Optimus," Akane chuckled. "Just gotta design the graphical user interface for the game I made to teach them about it."

"... What?"

~~~~

AN:

Woolodin: Murphy hates this fic he really fucking hates it. Still a blast making it though even if Murphy has it out for us.

Stormy: I make no comment other than the fact that five earthquakes, a blown transformer, and a wisdom tooth surgery tends to delay shit. Hopefully that's the—

Woolodin: NO YOU FUCKING DON'T

Kitsu: Zzzzz. Eeepy fox go eep. Gib snacks…

Stormy: Yea, what Kitsu said. Anyhow, same shilling, here's my carrd, here's Aiko's carrd, we're just gonna rest. Byeeeee.

KitsuneObsessedFreak · 2025-12-03T00:39:39+0000

The Innovative Fox 05:

"Optimus!" Agent Fowler came into the facility with a small, almost imperceptible grin. "What in god's blue earth is your Granny Akane woman making us play? That 'game' told us that your goddamn 'Synthetic Energon' is mostly safe to use! What kinda bullshit is that?"

"That's right, Synthetic Energon is safe for humans to use due to its synthetic nature," Optimus explained to the agent. "Miss Akane made it as a primer for humans to create their own Synthetic Energon, allowing you all access to a higher form of renewable energy."

"What in Uncle Sam's Beard?!" Agent Fowler shouted. "I think you're trying to fool me! There ain't no way it could be that clean."

Akane chuckled as she came up behind him and placed a tiny cube of Synthetic Energon down the back of his shirt.

"What in God's name?!" Agent Fowler panicked, grabbing the cube and holding it away from himself like it was the devil.

"Akane, please don't scare the locals," Optimus said exasperatedly. "Agent Fowler, you may have noticed that Synthetic Energon does not turn your skin blue, like normal Energon does."

"Well I'll be damned!" Agent Fowler gasped, looking over his dark skin with a critical eye. "You're right, not a hint of blue!"

It was incredible. Almost as if these bots had managed to find something absolutely stable, and usable by the good old US of A.

Akane poked Agent Fowler gently. "You'll get to play with that as much as you want, but you'll find it a lot easier if you beat the game," she chuckled. "After all, it plays just like Supreme Commander, but much more in depth. So, it should be beatable by any human child, let alone an adult."

Optimus chuckled at this.

"I recommend having your scientists on this Agent Fowler, and feel free to create your own Synthetic Energon facilities if you wish," he said with a humm of thought. "I wish to ask for a favor, however."

"And what favor would that be?" Agent Fowler asked with a raised eyebrow? "I ain't got unlimited authority, so I can only do so much unless the President Himself gives me the go-ahead."

"To control who gains access to any weapon that will be developed using Synthetic Energon," Optimus said with understandable caution. "I do not wish for humanity to wipe itself out by something we gave them as a gift."

"I'll bring it up with the President," Agent Fowler told him with a wave of his hand. "But don't expect an answer right away. He's on vacation!"

"That's understandable, for now though, I recommend using Synthetic Energon as an energy source for civilian purposes," Optimus advised with a hum of thought. "I trust that your government will be able to facilitate that transition smoothly."

"We'll have to see about that," Agent Fowler very carefully did not commit to any promises.

~~~~

"Hehe, this one goes here, and this one goes here, heheHA!" Akane cackled, putting together the finished parts for Ratchet's new Mechashift assault rifle.

It would fire Energon rounds that held an electromagnetic charge, homed in on targets, and weighed them down the more projectiles hit the target. Eventually, the weight would become too much, and the target would collapse and become vulnerable for the heated axe-hammer form that it could change into, ripping and smashing through whatever was left of his opponents in the end.

"Aaaaand dooooone~" Akane giggled, holding the thing like it was a masterpiece of craftsmanship, a true prize worthy of being put on display.

But this was no mere trinket. It would be a weapon of war.

She chuckled, walking over to Ratchet's usual workbench and placing it down beside it. It was perfectly sized for him — she'd checked thrice! So it would be simple for him to pick up and learn with enough time.

"Sweet merciful Primus, what the hell did you make, Akane?" Ratchet asked with an almost horrified awe as he looked at his new assault rifle.

"I made you a funny gun," Akane giggled. "It transforms too!"

Ratchet blinked.

"Akane..." Ratchet said warningly as he took a closer look at the assault rifle, gingerly taking the gun and examining it closer. "I'm almost afraid to ask what it does."

"It's certainly not a war crime this time~" the Foxxocopter Cybertronian giggled. "It does normal, completely sane, well within expectations for a standard war things instead!"

"... I'll be the judge of that," Ratchet grumpily as he went to the gun range for some test firing. "I hope nothing bad happens when I fire this thi—"

Ratchet didn't finish because he yelped when the gun changed into an axe-hammer, his optics widening as he looked at the weapon, then back at Akane.

"How you made a transforming weapon is beyond me, but how do I transform this back into a gun?" Ratchet asked as he looked at Akane while swinging his new weapon experimentally.

"Shift your grip into an assault rifle grip and cock it," Akane chuckled, working on her next project while she chattered.

It was very simple in design, and would make it rather easy for him to use once he had a bit of experience. Akane had faith that Ratchet would figure it out while she made her turrets.

Ratchet nodded and did exactly as Akane said, a whistle escaping his lips as the axe-hammer mechashifted back into an assault rifle.

"Now this is an interesting weapon," Ratchet stated with a smirk as he pushed the safety of the gun on before he aimed the gun to test its ergonomics. "What does it fire?"

"…Energon bullets," Akane grinned. "It can charge by feeding it a small, die sized cube of Energon, and it will last for about ten thousand rounds."

She chuckled. "You can also charge it directly, but it is a little power hungry."

"Hmm, it is a lucky thing that we have Synthetic Energon to use as energy," Ratchet said with a small huff of amusement as he walked out of the small laboratory Akane asked to be built in addition to the Synthetic Energon facility.

And a gun range. For testing purposes, where Ratchet was going to test out his new toy.

Akane could hear the gunshots immediately, the staccato of gunfire clear in the background, and then...

"Akane! What the frag did you do to the bullets!? Why are the targets being electrocuted and crushed?!" Ratchet yelled from the gun range.

"Dust rounds, son!" Akane chuckled, "They grant powers in response to magical trauma."

"... I probably shouldn't dignify that with a response, but Akane what the frag are you talking about?" Ratchet asked seriously.

"Memes, Ratchet! DNA of the soul!" Akane hollered back. "In other words, you can hurt Decepticons with that!"

"Akane, are you huffing the fumes from the Synthetic Energon harvester again? You know that's unhealthy," Ratchet chided as he looked at Akane in concern.

"I'm no more huffing the gas than you are right now Ratchet," Akane chuckled. "Besides, you know we don't need to breath technically, so it wouldn't actually do anything to us like it would humans."

She pulled out a bit of the other project she had also been working on from its spot on her workbench and tapped on the targeting lens. "This one could use a moving target, but it's too heavy for me to move. You still have that crane Ratchet?"

"I'll get it from storage," Ratchet said as he set aside his new weapon. "Do you want me to call Bumblebee and Cliffjumper to set up the shooting range for your new toy?"

"Sounds like a plan!" Akane giggled. "We can even make a party out of it. Maybe start up a funny barbecue."

"We can probably get some Synthetic Energon to snack on while we watch these guns fire," Ratchet mused as he slowly brought in the crane. "Where do you want me to place this?"

"Needs to be close enough to pick up the funny CIWS MOD LA2," Akane stated with a grin. "Also, Fowler's still here, right? He'll wanna see this."

"He is, yes..." Ratchet hummed as he looked at Akane suspiciously. "Don't traumatize him too much."

"I make no promises!" Akane grinned.

"That's what I'm worried about," Ratchet muttered under his breath.

~~~~

Cliffjumper knew that he was gonna have a ton of fun today.

After he almost died from being sucked inside a black hole, the part of him that loved war crimes and destruction was stoked.

He's gonna be able to do destructive slag again! After all these years!

A part of him knew that he had to be more careful about his... Tendencies. The humans were fragile, and very sensitive to the typical war crime shenanigans that Cybertronians do, by the Pit they even had a treaty about it.

These Geneva Convention thing, which apparently was a checklist for a certain national group called 'Canadians'.

"Hehehe, humans after my own spark," Cliffjumper sighed in slight approval. Hopefully he could meet one of their veterans someday to have a little chat.

And now, the humans have access to Synthetic Energon, a power source beyond what their brightest minds could currently comprehend.

Which meant that they would make bigger and better weapons soon! Hopefully some that he could use in combat!

"Hehehehe..." Cliffjumper snickered as the thought of Decepticons being turned into scrap heaps filled his processors. "I might need to ask Akane to remake my Glass Gas, but that's for later."

Because now, Akane's testing a new weapon! How joyous.

"Akane! I heard you made a new gun!" Cliffjumper exclaimed with enthusiasm as he walked inside of the gun range.

"I made several!" Akane cackled. "Gather around and come see the guns do a shenanigan!"

"Akane, just make sure you don't wreck the gun range, please," Ratchet pleaded grumpily as he brought some Synthetic Energon to snack on. "I hope to Primus that these weapons don't wreck the gun range..."

"Ratchet, that's a fool's hope right there," Cliffjumper snarked as Ratchet looked at him crossly.

"A Cybertronian can hope now, can't he?" Ratchet grumbled as he looked at the new weapons Akane made for the base. "What do you have for us, Akane?"

"I have a set of turrets for the base!" Akane smirked. "No Decepticons will get through this intact! Well, besides maybe Soundwave or Starscream. Megatron would just get mortally wounded while blowing them up though, just like the last turret design I made. He'd probably get revived again like usual though."

"Now I kinda want to see that turret design specifically," Cliffjumper said as he sat down. "Got any targets? Should we man the turrets?"

"They're automated!" Akane giggled. "They can spot a Decepticon from miles away!"

"Well, you gonna show us what they're made o—" Agent fowler began as Akane flicked a switch on a panel nearby.

The guns span up and fired at the incoming missiles, melting and slagging them instantly as clouds of toxic and acidic gas lingered in their localized areas for ten seconds without shifting with the air currents. Akane grinned, the mockup of Devastator melting down to nothing from the lingering clouds before they could dissipate as the glowing red lava from the bullets slowly cooled.

"Any questions?" Akane asked with a smirk.

"What in the Sam Hell was that?" Agent fowler asked, eyes wide with either fear or excitement. "And where can we get some?"

"Maybe once you guys figure out Synthetic Energon first, I'll see about teaching you about Dust," Akane chuckled. "But you'll need to figure out the basics before you can really get to the advanced stuff. Otherwise it's kinda useless."

"I'll be sure to note that," Agent Fowler nodded.

Cliffjumper looked at the slagged remains of the missiles before his optics looked at Akane.

"What do I need to do to get one of those?" Cliffjumper asked seriously. "I want one of those for my loadout ASAP."

"Don't worry," Akane chuckled. "I've got you something better."

She grabbed a rotary gauss cannon from the nearby workbench. "This, is Sasha, the Fulgurite cannon," Akane chuckled. "She fires custom casings that can turn whatever they hit into glass." After a moment, she leaned in and lowered her voice. "It costs two hundred thousand dollars to fire this gun, for twelve seconds."

"... By the Pit that looks so fragging good..." Cliffjumper whispered in awe as he looked at the turrets.

"… When my cousin told me that all the TF2 players these days were bots, I wasn't expecting this," Agent Fowler noted. "Is she always like this?"

"Yes," Ratchet sighed in fond amusement. "We love her all the same."

~~~~

AN:

Stormy: Hehehehe, war crimes are always best when done with the whole family.

Kitsu: Cliffjumper is going to be a major character in a Transformers Prime fic. Who would'a thought.

Woolodin: No one that who. He's Almost always killed off right at the get go every single time.

Stormy: A shame, really, from the lore stuff I read he actually sounds pretty cool! The Glass gas was a personal favorite of mine since he used it lots. Hehehe.

Kitsu: And with that, we have managed to get the fifth chapter done, and explain a bit of the Inspired Inventor shenanigans at last.

RWBY tech Get!

Stormy: Anyhow, if any of ya'll wish to commission Kitsu and I for something, our links are available here for Kitsu, and here for myself. Feel free to talk to us on Discord as well, we do chats there if ya'll are available.

Anyhow, that's all for this chap, see you guys on the next one!

KitsuneObsessedFreak · 2025-12-03T00:40:44+0000

The Innovative Fox 06:

Jackson "Jack" Darby was having a really bad day.

"Welcome to K.O Drive In, where every patty is a knockout. May I take your order?" he said to a new customer, who ordered several burgers to go.

He sighed as he tabbed it into the system before he waved the customer to wait in the parking lot as another customer drove in.

It was a monotonous, ordinary life, a part of him should be happy that he even got part-time work at all to save for his motorcycle.

"You should save up for it Jack, get some responsibility and learn people skills," his mom said with a tired smile as she kissed his forehead. "Life is hard and will try to knock you down, so you have to be able to take punches to the chin and kick it's ass right back!"

The words back then made Jack chuckle, his mom was a fighter after all, being a nurse does that. She always said that she had to fight unruly and uncooperative patients a lot in her work.

But in his mom's case, she could do that because she was trying to wrangle idiots.

He couldn't do that at K.O Drive In. If he did, he would get his ass fired if he inflicted irreparable damage.

"You can beat someone's ass as long as they still have all of their limbs and can still drive their asses out," the boss said with a sharp smile on his face. "K.O Drive In will handle the legal procedures, and we have surveillance cameras for this shit."

Jack didn't realize what that meant until he got into his first K.O Drive In brawl. A gang decided it was a good idea to try to start shit while the boss and most of the employees were on duty.

Sadly for the gang, most of the employees were either reformed convicts, or army veterans, and they rocked the shit out of the biker gang. Jack even helped when he accidentally fought the leader in mortal combat before knocking the bastard out with a steel chair to the face.

He got Employee of the Month thanks to that, and a fat bonus from the boss.

Which is why he clenched his fist when a familiar, unwelcome voice came in the driveway.

"Two super combos, extra fries," Vincent's smarmy, asshole voice blasted from the speakers. "And add a ton of sauce on the burgers, fuckhead."

Jack growled under his breath, of course it would be Vincent and his posse just when his shift was about to end.

God, he would love to punch the fucker's face in, but not yet, not yet...

"Okay, dos número two's, anything else?" Jack asked in the intercom, his inner snark colored his words as he prepared the food.

'Fuck, now he's gonna be even more of an ass—' Jack thought to himself as Vincent decided to fuck around again.

"Yeah dumbass, I want some advice," Vincent snarked viciously. "How do I get an awesome job like yours?" he said as his groupies laughed in the background.

Jack scoffed as he piled the food into a tray. Vincent was always an asshole with a mile-wide ego. He let one win get to his head and became a huge bully in school.

Luckily for Jack, all of the fistfights K.O Burger had on the regular gave him a spine.

"So that's two, 'we're not as funny as we think we are' combos, with a side of 'bite me, bitch'," Jack snarked with a small grin. Probably a bad idea to snark the school bully, but oh well.

"What did you say you little shit?"

Jack smothered a snicker at Vincent's indignation.

"Five fifty-nine sir, at the window," Jack said with a grin as he placed the order on the interior counter.

Which was a good idea given that Vincent's car drove by and tried to swipe the order without paying a dime, which they didn't get.

Jack's grin was vicious.

"You forgot your order!" he called out as he saw the car stop and slowly reverse back to the booth, with Vincent furiously looking at Jack and his smug face.

"The FUCK you say?" Vincent growled as he peeked out of the car window, a scowl on his face as he looked at Jack. "You should shut your fucking mouth, Darby. I can ruin your ass at school with a word."

Jack just grinned.

"Come on now, Vincent, you know that you have to be a law-abiding citizen in this country," Jack said with a smirk as he patted the paper bags with Vincent's order. "Like I said, five fifty-nine for the order, which is a pretty reasonable price if you ask me."

"And I don't want to pay for shit, Jackie boy," Vincent growled as he leaned forward and narrowed his eyes. "I want my free meal from K.O and you are going to give it to me."

Jack laughed at this and leaned forward, locked eyes with Vincent.

"Or else what, Vincy? You gonna do a tantrum and run back to mommy and daddy?" Jack asked mockingly as he poked Vincent's forehead. "You gonna run back to them and snitch that you didn't get your free meal?"

Jack immediately ducked his head as Vincent attempted to punch his face and retaliated with his own right hook to Vincent's eye.

The feel of his fist on Vincent's face was satisfying as fuck.

"OW! M-MY EYE! You punched my EYE!" Vincent squealed as he lurched back on his car while his posse looked at Jack with wide eyes.

"I did, yes, and I have the waiver to do so against unruly customers," Jack scoffed as he leaned forward menacingly, a dangerous smirk on his face. "Now be a good boy and pay up for your order, before I call the boss on your asses."

Vincent nodded as he gave a ten-dollar bill to Jack, who smirked as he gave Vincent's posse the paper bags and change.

"Thank you for buying from K.O Drive In, we hope you enjoy your meal," Jack said viciously as the car drove off as Vincent cried from the sucker punch to his eye.

Jack though, didn't care for the little shit, he was preoccupied with the absolutely gorgeous motorcycle that pulled up on the driveway.

"Hello beautiful," Jack muttered under his breath as he finished his shift.

~~~~

"Life is a highway, I wanna ride it all night long!" the radio blared, his tires rolling at a good pace while he sped down the highway. "If you're going my way~ Well I wanna drive it, all night long~"

As Bumblebee sped down the road, his optics flashing and his mood soaring with the wind in his grille, he noticed something that really pissed him off. He groaned internally, drifting around the divider and catching up behind the two Decepticons that were bullying poor Arcee and her new buddy.

Sure, he had no idea why she had picked up a little friend, but if she was going to protect that little human from two brutish Vehicon twins, she was gonna need his help. And maybe a little more backup…

He buzzed Akane over the comms, poking the old lady to come lend a hand. The crazy old coot could use some time to stretch her rotors anyways.

Just as they caught up and tried to slam into Arcee from both sides, Bumblebee lined up with the Vehicon's back wheel, slamming into it and forcing it into oncoming traffic. The humans were smart, they could stop in time to keep themselves from crashing if they wanted to.

Hell, he watched a truck speed up and smack into it while he sped off, so clearly they wanted to assist.

While he did this, he watched as the other Vehicon ran Arcee off an off ramp and into the Aqueduct, but he was going too fast to make it down there easily. Unfortunately, Arcee would be on her own for a hot minute.

Unfortunately, as he tried to slow down, he slammed into a barrier that was set up at the end of the bridge, and was forced up and over it for a bit. This was gonna suck.

~~~~

The project car that Raf had built was working splendidly in his opinion. In fact, the wheels worked smoothly, the motors hummed delicately and the car was fast.

It was really cool. He was glad he had taken the time to come play with it in the aqueduct so that he could really test out his baby.

If only he had someone he could show this to. Someone who could appreciate such things in the same way he did.

If only—

His phone rang.

"Hi momma?" he asked as he picked up the phone.

She was calling because she wanted to know what he was up to, apparently. Even if she had just called him fifteen minutes before, it was still nice to know that his mother was looking out for him. It was just a bit much sometimes, because he could take care of himself just fine.

He wasn't like those other kids, as they liked to point out quite frequently. In fact, he was much more capable than them.

"I'm racing," he chuckled.

"Where are you racing?" she asked with a concerned voice.

"Right up the street," he said. And it was true, their house was really close by.

"Be home soon sweetie, I just heard some people crash near the house," she claimed.

Huh, he hadn't noticed. "Okay mom, just five more minutes?" he asked, confident in his own safety where he was.

"Okay sweetie, just hurry," she sighed.

"Alright," he chuckled, hanging up.

A loud crash sounded above him on the road near the aqueduct.

"Noooo! My truck!" a man yelled, followed by some guy on a motorcycle flying off the highway and landing in the Aqueduct.

"Woah…" he said with a grin.

"Holy fucking shit!" the guy gasped as he drove the motorcycle down the aqueduct, eyes wide as he panted for breath. "W-What, what the fuck was that!? Holy shit!"

"Human, what's your name?" the motorcycle asked, the headlight flashed with each word.

"Uuuuh, Jack Darby, but wait, how are you able to—" the man was about to ask, but the headlights flashed again and again.

"Get off of me, Jack Darby! And keep an eye on the small human as well!" The voice said again as two Cadillacs drove down the aqueduct and...

They transformed into robots.

Giant robots.

"Holy fuck..." the teen gasped with wide eyes as he got off the motorcycle, watching the cars transform in front of them.

"Good, now make sure to keep an eye on the kid," the talking motorcycle said as it also transformed into a smaller, female-looking robot, her hands transforming into dual SMGs.

"Woah," Raf exhaled, looking at all of them with awe.

The twin robots transformed one of their fists each into a cannon, and started firing at the robot motorcycle like she was public enemy number one. It was quite fascinating, if it wasn't for the fact that she specifically stated to the teenager that was riding her to 'keep an eye on him.'

What that was supposed to mean, he wasn't quite sure yet, however, it didn't seem malicious. The twins on the other hand? Now they were menacing.

The motorcycle robot dodged those shots by sliding her head back inside of her body and doing a power slide underneath the rest of the energy blasts, fired her SMGs at one of the robots while she swept the legs of the second.

Of course, the one who had his legs swept out from under him didn't take his beating lying down, even as his twin twisted out of the way of the incoming hail of bullets. In fact, the one who was swept did his best to attempt to tackle the motorcycle robot, while firing a shot above her head to trap her in place.

The female bot didn't hesitate to kick the tackling robot's face instead and fired a burst of sustained fire from her SMGs right at the bot's torso. Its torso didn't last long after that.

With a grunt, the other robot kicked the motorcycle robot in the ribs while she was distracted, only for another car to drive off the bridge through the barrier and transform, punching that one in the face. From there, the robot took several more hits, before pushing the newcomer away.

Then, the newcomer accidentally stepped on his car, looking back at Raf apologetically which he waved off. "It's okay," he said, "Just win your fight and we're cool."

The newcomer gave him a thumbs up, before getting shot in the side by another set of the twins coming from above the ramp. These ones looked a little more roughed up though.

Of course, the newcomer took it rather well, and proceeded to wave him and the teenager away as the quadruplets? Yes, quadruplets began to close in on them, as the squishier targets.

"Tally-ho lads!" a helicopter yelled, shooting a massive blast of energy to annihilate the core of one of the Quartet.

While everyone stood and stared, the helicopter came around for another shot. "Looks like we're hunting Vehicons today kids! Mmmmiiight want to fucking run~!"

"Well, I'm not gonna argue with the talking helicopter with an energy cannon," Jack said as he grabbed Raf's hand. "Come on kid, we'll stay out of the nice robot's way for a bit, yeah?"

"Yeah, I've seen enough," Raf nodded, following him out of there.

~~~~

AN:

Woolodin_Prime: As always it was a blast making this.

Stormy: Ayup, and the first few smatterings of combat, hopefully we can add more stuff from Transformers One combat in this since the movie was just so bloody cool.

Kitsu: I have never watched Transformers One. I don't even know if I will watch it. So I genuinely don't care what kind of combat we do here, so long as it's funny.

Stormy: It's actually really good, highly recommend it. But I digress, I want to do some additional stuff for combat in the future, will need to practice on that aspect of writing to be honest.

~~~~

AN2:

Kitsu: So essentially, shit got fucked, and Woolodin no longer wants to continue.

This was a long time coming, as he has consistently been a bit of an ass to work with, though it was clear he at least made an effort not to be one, which both me and F3n appreciate a lot. But essentially, he started ghosting us, and then when I poked him directly in DM instead of in the Group Chat, he told me he had muted it and was burnt out. That he didn't want to continue for the time being, and that while he might come back some day, he just isn't up for it at the moment.

Which unfortunately means that this story is going to require a new commissioner who is willing to pay both me and f3nn3l to work on this one, separately. Something that would be nice in the end, and would require that the person or people who do so potentially meet up with us on my discord so we can chat about where we want to take the story from here.

If we don't get commissioned to write more, both of us, we won't be writing more of it. Simple as. Because as commissioned authors, we need to be able to put food on the table, and we can't do that by working on a fic that isn't giving us what we need.

Hell, I work for people who buy me tea from Throne even, or contribute to other fun things on there that I want, and give a highly discounted rate. And F3n has agreed to work at the same rate as me for this fic. Which means if you're paying for it at my discounted rate, f3n will allow you to pay him and get the same rate as you get from me.

If people want, they can even group together to commission us for more, instead of paying all by themselves. We just need to make sure we're getting paid for our work.

Of course, since I highly doubt Woolodin will actually be back any time within the next several months to a year minimum, if not an indefinite amount of time longer, I am just going to say that it's on all of you to keep this story alive. If you want more, please, by all means, help us out a little, yeah?

Stormy: Well, this is a really shitty way to wake up on.

Kitsu had the right of it when he said that I was working with them on their rate, even if it's a BIT higher due to being paid in USD. I really appreciated the fact that they gave me the chance to collab on this and was also appreciative of the fact that Woolo's idea was actually pretty fire to write with, I had a ton of ideas every time Kitsu and I were writing and even when Woolo was there he was actually a pretty fun guy.

And welp, I also understand that he wants to step away, but as stated, Kitsu and I need to eat.

So yes, if you all wish for the fic to continue, feel free to commission us by contacting Kitsu on his server. We would greatly appreciate it.

Kitsu: So, links.

F3nn3l/Stormy the Corgi Crow I don't know kinda guy: https://f3nn3lcorgiii.carrd.co/

Kitsu the fluffiest of foxxos: https://aikoakiyoshi.carrd.co/

Feed us. It helps us continue to write.

We do commissions. Like this one.

Stormy: That will be all for now, ciao!

The Innovative Fox [Transformers Prime Au, Inspired Inventor, Cybertronian SI OC}

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