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The King has Left the Building (Yu-gi-oh! GX SI)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by PrinceJonathan, Oct 25, 2020.

  1. Threadmarks: chapter 1

    PrinceJonathan Versed in the lewd.

    Dec 2, 2016
    Likes Received:
    Plot Summary: After watching old episodes of Yu-gi-oh! GX on Youtube, an SI casually wishes he could go to Duel Academy. His wish is mysteriously granted, but it comes at a terrible cost. Can the world survive without the Supreme King to save it?

    The King has Left the Building


    I lay on a bed and stare vacantly up at the ceiling fan as it spins around. Posters of comic book media I do not recognize dot the walls of the room, and a shelf of action figures depicting unfamiliar superheroes hangs over the headboard. A glance to the calendar hanging over a desk across from me tells me the date is October 8th, 2005. Two days until the entrance exam to the academy is marked off in bright red ink.

    The computer below it is a large off-white clunker with the letters KC for a logo and a monitor so huge it practically takes up half the desk. I bet the internet connection is going to be terrible.

    With a groan I haul myself to my feet and walk over to the nearby door to the bathroom. A look in the mirror shows I at least still retain my brown eyes and hair. Although the latter is now more spikey than the usual curls I normally sport. Typical, now that it seems I'm stuck in the body of an anime protagonist I get goofy anime hair.

    "I am so fucking screwed." I say to my reflection with a scowl.

    After relieving myself (and cursing my small 15yr old penis), I flip my reflection the bird and laugh at how out of character it looks before returning to the bedroom. I guess I could have fun with this. I mean everything is going to be doomed anyway. Why bother worrying about it?

    Flopping down on the bed I bury my face into the pillow. "This was a stupid wish."

    I roll over with my arms splayed outward. "And Flip Summon! Activate effect: Everything is Fucked!"

    What the hell am I going to do? I'm stuck in the body of Jaden Yuki, the fucking reincarnation of the Supreme King! And I have none of his bullshit powers by the simple fact I am not Him! How am I suppose to defeat the Light of Destruction without the Gentle Darkness? Not to mention whatever the hell Nightshroud is suppose to be. I never got to see season 4. Goddamn 4kids!

    When I wished I could go to Duel Academy, I DIDN'T MEAN LIKE THIS!

    I feel like shouting, but I don't want to disturb Jaden's parents downstairs. That would lead to some awkward questions. I don't even know their names. Heck, I don't think they were ever even mentioned in the series at all.

    Sigh. "Well let's see what we have to work with."

    It takes me a few minutes to find Jaden's Duel Monsters deck inside the desk drawer, and I begin to shuffle through it. Naturally it's all pretty standard E-Hero stuff all crammed into the deck with no consistency. If it's Elemental Hero support, into the deck it goes.

    He's even running single copies of the garbage spell and trap cards that require one specifically named E-Hero monster are in here. These things aren't even good enough for a trade binder. The only thing they were good for back in the day was scamming little kids because they saw their idol use them on TV.

    And he somehow made it work. What the actual fuck? I guess it helps when your deck is actually intelligent to a degree and will let you basically pull whatever you need out of your ass if your connection with your cards is strong enough. Because no one in Yugioh ever bricks.

    But bugger me if I can make such a connection with this piece of shit. I already want to burn it.

    "Hold on..Bubbleman?" I pause and read the card effect.

    When this is the only card in your hand, you can Special Summon it. When this card is Normal Summoned, Flip Summoned, or Special Summoned, and there are no other cards on your side of the field, draw 2 cards.

    "Holy shit I forgot how broken this thing was in the anime." I set the card aside. "Free Pot of Greed if your field is empty? Yes please."

    Ok, time to do some research. I forget what the '05 format was, so I'll need to double check. Putting the deck down I turn on the computer. "Windows XP? Goddamn I feel old."

    As I wait for the ancient stone age PC to connect to the internet I go back to flipping through Jaden's cards. "No Stratos? How can he run E-Heroes and not have Stratos?"

    I bring up Google and start searching for cards and format lists.

    My shoulders slump in defeat when no results come up for Elemental Hero Stratos. "Well that figures. E-Heroes just came out this year. None of their actual good stuff has been released yet."

    "What about the format?" I wonder and type in another search.

    *tap-tap-tap* Fucking dial-up.

    "There is no Ban List? Are you fucking kidding me?!" My mouth hangs open in astonishment and I begin scrolling down. Some cards are Limited to one or two per deck, but no card in the Industrial Illusion's database is actually Forbidden.

    "Oh this is so broken. If only Chaos monsters weren't impossible to find in this universe. Probably why they're not banned. Yugi and Kaiba are basically the only ones who have any."

    What kind of deck do I want to run though? Thinking back I never really had a connection with any particular deck. I just ran whatever I could afford that was good. Disaster Dragon was my most successful deck, but Red-Eyes Darkness Metal Dragon has a completely different effect in this universe.

    "Koa'ki Meru Drago would utterly wreck Zane's asshole. Special Summon Cyber Dragon? HA-HA, Denied!"

    It's 2005, so the choices are slim. I could run Gadgets. Yugi had them, right? "Yeah! That could work. Is Machina available?"

    A few minutes to wait for the search results to come in and...

    "No, and Gadgets look way too expensive. Probably because Yugi uses them. That would jack up the hype around them and likely their price as well. That sucks. How about Goat Control? I think that was a 2005 format."

    I do a another quick search. "No Thousand-Eyes Restrict though. Figures Pegasus would have the only one in existence."

    Drumming my fingers on the desk an idea hits me. "Monarchs maybe?"

    Yes! If I'm going to fill the Supreme King's shoes, I should run a deck fit for a King. And what says royalty better than a Monarch deck? How many are available?

    "Zaborg, Mobius, Thestalos, and Granmarg. Crap, only those four? Well I guess it is too much to hope for Erebus and Ehther. Those won't be released until over a decade in the future. Although..."

    I lean back in my chair and ponder a thought. "Their Duel Monster Spirits should exist out there somewhere, right? It's just Pegasus hasn't gotten around to making them into cards yet."

    If I could somehow contact them, I should be able to make them real. People were always pulling new cards out of their asses that were somehow able to work on a Duel Disk even though they were clearly fake cards at the time. The only explanation I can think of is Shadow Magic must be retroactively adding the cards to the database.

    If I'm right, I could totally bullshit cards into existence that shouldn't even exist yet!

    "No..no, I'm getting ahead of myself." I shake my head. "Shadow Magic is dangerous, and I have no idea how to even use it."

    Still it would have been nice if I could have used it to give Red-Eyes Darkness Metal Dragon its real effect.

    "Does that card even exist?" I turn back to the computer and snort in amusement when no results turn up.

    I throw my hands up in disgust. "Of course fucking Nightshroud made the stupid thing up! Oh look at me I'm the embodiment of darkness and I'm going to make my boss monster have a needlessly complicated summoning condition instead of something actually playable. Pfft, dumbass."

    Leaving the computer running I begin searching the room for any other cards Jaden may have. A binder. A box of janky commons. Anything! Because as it is there's no way I can use this E-Hero deck. Maybe if I had access to Stratos, Ocean, and Skyscraper II Hero City I could build Big City. Except those won't be available until season 2.

    "Don't tell me this idiot has no other cards." Growling in anger I look under the bed and find an old shoe box. Sliding it out I blow the dust off and look inside. "I hope this isn't just his spank bank."

    I sigh in relief as the box is full of cards. "Jackpot!"

    Well maybe calling it a jackpot is an overstatement. Most of this stuff looks like crap from early sets. I'm talking vanilla Normal monsters with less than 1,000 attack points, Fusion monsters with no effects, etc. Garbage. All garbage.

    Sitting cross legged on the floor I begin sorting them by set number out of habit until I come across something that causes my jaw to drop. "SD4-JP012 MOBIUS THE FROST MONARCH!!? You mean this idiot bought the Water Structure Deck and just left it under his bed? Wait..the Water Structure Deck exists here?"

    Now that I think about it, I do remember a scene from the anime where the card shop at Duel Academy was restocking and Structure Decks were specifically mentioned. Seems kind of odd the Structure Decks would be the same as they were in my world. There was some completely broken shit released in those decks. Stuff you'd expect the main cast to play more often if the cards were so common. Yet hardly any of them ever used basic staples.

    Ok, plan Monarch deck is a go! Can I build it though? Digging deeper into the box I am left speechless when I discover he didn't just buy one Water Structure Deck, Jaden Yuki seems to have had enough brain cells to rub together to have bought three copies of every Structure Deck that has come out since the release of the game.

    "If I hadn't already taken over his body, I'd wring his goddamn neck."

    I set aside three copies of Mobius, and three of Thestalos from the Fire Structure Deck. As well as Mother Grizzly, Tribe-Infecting Virus, UFO Turtle, Twin-Headed Behemoth, Spirit Reaper, and every staple common Spell and Trap card.

    "Ok, now what about Scapegoat and Graceful Charity? Those were in the Joey and Pegasus decks if I remember right." Picking myself up off the floor I go back to the computer for more research.

    "There is no way the character decks are a thing. Kaiba would flip his shit if Pegasus put his precious Blue-Eyes in a lowly Starter deck."

    Sure enough there are no pre-constructed decks based on specific duelists. No Joey deck, no Pegasus deck, no Kaiba deck, but there does seem to be plans to release a limited edition copy of Yugi's deck as a tournament prize (minus God Cards of course).

    There is also a generic starter deck released at the beginning of every year, and last years deck just so happens to have Scapegoat.

    "Ok first chance I get tomorrow I'm hitting the card shop, and it looks like Graceful Charity is going to be the most expensive card in the deck. It's a bit pricey, but I can swing it if I can sell some of these useless E-Hero Fusion monsters."

    Hold on, why am I doing all of this anyway? I get so worked up when I'm making decks I just forget everything else and get caught up in the moment. I swear I have more fun designing decks than I do actually playing this stupid game.

    Why did I want to go to Duel Academy? There's nothing there.

    Sure Alexis is smoking hot, but there's no way she'd be into a guy like me. Nor would her two groupies. Whatever their names were. Other than that Duel Academy was basically a sausage fest from what I remember.

    I don't think they even had a sexy milf teacher to lewd. Or if they did she was probably in only one episode, played a shitty gimmick deck, and was then promptly forgotten.

    There was the lady who ran the card shop, but she was more like fan dis-service than anything.

    What about Duel Monster spirits? Dark Magician Girl's a bit cliche, but I'd still want to tap that ass. Except I doubt I can even see Duel Spirits. Ah well, I'm sure she wouldn't want anything to do with me either.

    Anyway what would be the point? Jaden's gone, I'm stuck in his body, and I have no bullshit plot armor to stand up to the Light of Destruction because the Gentle Darkness was intrinsically connected to Jaden's Soul. If I tried fusing with Yubel, she'd immediately know I'm not Jaden and would probably destroy me from the inside.

    Pity, I wouldn't mind a sexy futanari waifu.

    Jaden was a laid back go with the flow kind of guy. I don't think I can do that. The world is going to end and everything is fucked all because of my stupid wish.

    I hate my life.
  2. Threadmarks: chapter 2

    PrinceJonathan Versed in the lewd.

    Dec 2, 2016
    Likes Received:
    The King has left the Building

    The next day I'm walking down the street after school ended (and what a weird experience it was to be back in school) with my book bag slung over my shoulder. I drag my feet while trying not to think of the world's impending doom, and come to a stop outside the famous Kame Game shop which Jaden only lived a short train ride from.

    Japanese anime and their free-range children, go figure. Fifteen years old, and I can pretty much go anywhere in the city with a train pass and a phone call to mom letting her know where I am. In real life I'd probably be so swamped with schoolwork I'd barely have time to take a fucking dump.

    It's weird standing outside Yugi's Grandfather's shop like it's no big deal. I could have sworn there was an episode where they all went on a field trip to Domino City, but Jaden lives here?

    It would explain how he was able to just randomly crash into Yugi on his way to the entrance exam to Duel Academy in the first episode. Clearly they live in the same city.

    But that still doesn't explain the field trip episode implying Jaden had never been to Domino. You even see Kaiba Corp in the background as Jaden's running through the city for crying out loud!

    Whatever. Probably something got lost in translation. When in doubt, blame 4kids.

    Anyway I'm here, so lets check this place out. I couldn't call myself a fan of Yugioh if I didn't.

    A bell rings above the door as I enter. The familiar musky smell of children's trading cards hits my nose and I sigh with nostalgia. I forgot how much I missed that scent, the sound of crinkling foil, the joy of actually pulling that one card you were looking for..which was depressingly rare in my case.

    I can count the number of times I've pulled good stuff from packs on one hand and still have fingers left over. I made it a personal rule after spending close to $500 on Cybernetic Revolution packs trying to pull Cyber Dragon and NEVER PULLING A SINGLE FUCKING ONE to never ever buy Booster Packs again.

    "Welcome to Kame Game, is there anything I can help you with young man?" An elderly voice snaps me from my thoughts.

    "Ah?" I look up and see Yugi's grandpa, Solomon Muto, behind the counter. Close your mouth dumbass you can fanboy later.

    "D-do you have 2004's Duel Monsters Starter Deck?" my voice cracks. Stupid puberty.

    "Last year's deck? Hmm." Solomon rubs his chin in thought. "I think I have a few left over."

    "I'll take three, please." I reply holding up three fingers.

    He blinks in confusion. "Three?"

    I shrug my shoulders "I like to keep full playsets of everything. Especially starter and structure deck commons. You never know what could become a staple tomorrow."

    "I see. That's a pretty smart idea. It's so nice to see young people use their head for a change." Solomon smiles and nods sagely. "If you'll wait, I'll see what I have in the back. Feel free to look around."

    "Ok, thank you." I watch as he steps into the back room. Turning around I take the time to browse the shelves.

    He has several singles set up on display in a glass counter. Raigeki, Summoned Skull (naturally), The Creator, Tri-Horned Dragon (I wonder if I could build Deep Draw Dragons? No I need Cards of Consonance and Tuners for that. That's 5Ds bullshit.), Ring of Destruction, etc. All out of my price range of course.

    I scowl at a display of a full set of Elemental Hero Fusions. Hard Pass!

    Suddenly I freeze as a card in the back catches my eye. Zaborg the Thunder Monarch! And only 3000 yen?! Wait..how much is that in American Dollars? Shit!

    "See something you like?"

    I most certainly did not scream as Solomon Muto sneaks up behind me.

    "N-no, it's..I wouldn't be able to afford the decks if I bought it." I reply.

    "Well what is it?" Solomon asks kindly. "Perhaps we can make a deal?"

    "That one in the back. Zaborg the Thunder Monarch." I point.

    He turns and examines the display. "Hmm, that's been sitting there for months. I could let it go for 2000."

    I shake my head. "I still wouldn't have enough for the decks, and they take priority."

    Solomon tilts his head. "I'm open to trading for it."

    "Really? Well.." I reach down to the deckbox hanging from my belt and pull out Jaden's deck. Sorry man but your deck has got to go. It's not like it would listen to me anyway.

    "I have this." I hold out Jaden's original ace monster, the Elemental Hero Flame Wingman.

    Solomon looks at the card for a moment before shaking his head and holding his palms up in protest. "Oh no, I can't except this. That cards worth close to 5000! That wouldn't be fair to you."

    Ouch, five thousand for this piece of shit? Probably because of all the hype around them. E-Heroes are all the rage, so gotta milk those naive little kids.

    "Please, I'd get more mileage out of Zaborg than this thing. Elemental Heroes just don't suit me."

    Solomon thinks it over. "Well if you're sure."

    "I am."

    He takes out his keys and unlocks the case, takes out Zaborg, and I follow him to the counter where he has three starter decks stack up. "Your total comes to 2400."

    I pull out Jaden's wallet and start to count the money when it suddenly hits me. Pre-constructed decks are typically $10. Using Google to convert to yen I was expecting to pay around 1100. Three decks should be over 3000. "Wait you're only charging me for two decks?"

    "It didn't seem right to charge you for all three seeing as you're trading away your card at a loss." Solomon waves off my concern.

    I snort and then start to chuckle softly as I hand him my money and Flame Wingman on the counter. "Thank you."

    "No, thank you for shopping at Kame Game. And please do come again." He waves goodbye as I leave.


    Back at home I sit down once again at my desk and begin to work on my deck. I have the Monarchs laid out before me, and decide to take out one Thestalos to make room for Zaborg. What a lucky break that was.

    Then I remove Mother Grizzly and UFO Turtle. While I think it would be cute to merge the Water and Fire themes, which sounds like just the kind of stupid gimmick that just might work, my meta sensibilities are telling me to go with Pyramid Turtle and Masked Dragon from the Zombie and Dragon Structure Decks.

    I can use them to search for Spirit Reaper and Twin-Headed Behemoth. Plus they allow me to put monsters they summon in Defense Position. Grizzly and UFO would leave me open to battle damage because everything they summon goes into Attack Position.

    Then again Mother Grizzly would let me summon the anime version of Elemental Hero Bubbleman and draw two cards if my field is empty. Decisions, decisions. Oh who am I kidding that shit is broken as hell. Put it in!

    As I shuffle through Jaden's copies of SD1 Dragon's Roar, I pick out the face card of the very first Structure deck, Red-Eyes Darkness Dragon. I can't believe Jaden had this card the entire time. And Nightshroud used it against him? How ironic is that?

    Still it means I have three copies of Red-Eyes Black Dragon, and Inferno Fire Blast already. Something to put on the back burner when Red-Eyes gets actual playable support. In a world where the norm is to start with 4000 Life Points, those cards are going to be absolutely busted.

    "What else?" I wonder and look around.

    The max on Creature Swap is two, so in they go. I wish I had Brain Control, but that won't be easy to get until..what Structure Deck was it again? If they follow the same release schedule as my world, then it would be the second Dragon deck, I think. I could be wrong. I did miss out on a few Structure Decks, but I remember the first Felgrand deck had Brain Control.

    Hmm..I need to make room for Metamorphosis when I get some staple Fusions. Thousand-Eyes Restrict may be beyond my reach, but I can still turn my Monarchs into Dark Balter and Ryu Senshi. I'll be losing 400 Attack points, but I'll be gaining monsters that are walking negates.

    Speaking of negates I know Jaden has a copy of Solemn Judgment. Now where did I put it? Ah! Got to get two more of these cause holy shit this thing is too fucking good. Negate anything for the cost of half of my Life Points? HA! Most of the idiots on this show would cringe at the idea of paying that, but the only Life Point that truly matters it your last one.

    Time to crack open my new starter decks. I begin to flip through the cards only to stop. Huh? Gaia the Fierce Knight is the cover card. Wonder what else is in here? I forgot to check when I was looking for Scapegoat online.

    "Sakuretsu Armor? That's good. It's a mini-Mirror Force basically." I pleasantly hum. "One Mirror Force and two Sakuretsus should be a good balance. Except what if I do end up dueling Crowler? His Ancient Gears are immune to battle traps. Well we'll just see how he likes Compulsory Evacuation Device."

    "Marauding Captain, Rush Recklessly, Axe of Despair..Sangan! Fucking Sangan is in this?!" I pull the card out and read it to double check its effect.

    If this card is sent from the field to the graveyard: Add 1 monster with 1500 or less ATK from your Deck to your hand.

    "That's Sangan alright, before Konami neutered him." I happily put the three-eyed fuzzball in my Monarch deck. Good to have you back buddy!

    "Ok Fissure is a nice surprise." It's better than Hammer Shot since it only effects monsters on the opponent's field. I'll take two. Wonder why no one runs it if it's a Starter Deck common? They probably think its crap because it destroys the monster with the lowest attack.

    I skip past a few more less noteworthy cards and I almost jump out of my seat. "Soul Exchange?! Alright this is bullshit. Heart of the Cards bullshit!"

    It's like the universe wants me to run Monarchs.

    "Hello, Duel Spirits? I'd really like Ehther, Erebus, Edea, and Eidos some time soon. Pretty please!"

    I don't know why but I feel really optimistic about the future now, and that worries me. All of this good fortune must mean something bad is going to happen. I just know it.

    Well the deck is done at least. Hopefully I can make up for my lack of plot armor with metagaming. Who needs the Heart of the Cards when half of your deck is full of floaters?
  3. Threadmarks: chapter 3

    PrinceJonathan Versed in the lewd.

    Dec 2, 2016
    Likes Received:
    The King has Left the Building

    "FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK" I gasp for breath as I run through the Domino Central Park at breakneck speed. My legs are itching and burning while my sides are screaming in agony. How could this fucking happen?!

    I knew Jaden was late to the exam in canon, so I made sure to get up super early because I wanted to avoid pissing off Vellian Crowler and being forced to duel him. Because let's be honest, I'm running Monarchs while he's running a shitty Ancient Gear deck. It's no contest who would win.

    When Jaden beat Crowler it caused him to try on several occasions to get Jaden humiliated and expelled because Crowler is a vindictive asshole. Even going to the extent of hiring a goddamn hitman to take Jaden out. Like what the fuck man?! He's suppose to be a teacher. How is any of that acceptable behavior for an educator?

    I know he mellows out as the series goes on and becomes a likeable character I suppose, but season one Crowler can go fuck himself on a flag pole.

    Anyway, how was I suppose to know Jaden was late because his train was delayed by a fucking car accident on the tracks?! I do not remember that even being mentioned on the show.

    Kicking off a bench I leap over a hedge and continue to cut through the park. I make sure to watch where I'm going because I remember just who else is in the park today. Yugi Muto. If I am forced to follow canon despite my preparations, then he's got to be somewhere around here.

    I do not want to crash into him and get stuck with Winged Kuriboh. Not that I don't like the cute fuzzy furball and his adorable little cooing noises. It's just..Kuriboh is Jaden's spirit partner, not mine. Hell I don't know if I even have one. What spirit would even want to be my partner anyway?

    I couldn't avoid being late and now I will probably have to duel Crowler. But if I can avoid Yugi, then maybe I can take that as a sign that I can change the course of fate. That I can make a difference.

    That was it wasn't it? That's how Jaden was able to beat Sartorius and the Light of Destruction. By being able to defy Fate, or something like that. I don't think they ever explained what the Gentle Darkness actually did exactly other than let Jaden see and command Duel Spirits.

    " 'Scuse me, coming through!" I shout as I duck and weave through a crowd of people standing in my way. Suddenly I see something that lifts my hopes.

    Stupid anime protagonist hair at 2 o'clock!

    Moment of truth.

    I can do this.

    I can do this..

    I can..DODGE!

    "Woah! Hey, watch it."

    "Hi, Yugi. Bye, Yugi. Tell Winged Kuriboh I'm sorry!" I yell back over my shoulder as I zoom past the famous King of Games himself.

    Ha, ha! I did it. I actually changed something. Maybe..maybe I can do this!

    Or maybe..I just made a horrible mistake. No I can't start thinking that or I'll fall into an endless spiral of doubt. I can only swallow my worries and push onwards.


    Yugi blinks in confusion as he watches the strange boy run past him and call out his name. "What was that all about? Do I know him from somewhere?"

    He tilts his head in thought as he wracks his brain. "That wasn't a Domino High uniform he was wearing, so I don't think so."

    "Hmm, whatever. I need to get back to finding my shirt." Yugi shrugs it off. "Then I have to meet up with Joey so we can make that parody of the Fresh Prince of Bel Air."


    A man in black sunglasses and a suit looks down at the watch on his wrist. "Well ladies, that's it. Mark all the no shows, no shows."

    The two women staffing the application center start to work marking off papers.

    "Hold on!"

    "Hmm?" The man turns an sees a boy in a grey high school uniform and red undershirt run up the steps.

    The boy comes to a stop in front of him and doubles over with his hands on his knees as he gasps for breath. "Applicant...#110 here for..the test."

    He frowns sadly. "I'm sorry, kid, but you missed the deadline."

    "Oh come on!" The boy jolts straight up with a look of pure panic on his face. "It's not my fault your stupid train was late!"

    "I'm sorry but-" the man starts to reply before being cut off.

    "Sir, they did call ahead saying that they would be delayed." one of the girls at the desk adds. "Some kind of accident on the tracks."

    "I see." The man adjusts his glasses and turns back to the boy. "Were there any other students with you?"

    "A few." the boy answers. "I was the only one who decided to run all the way here."

    "You took the 10:30 train and ran all the way here?" He asks in astonishment. "Impressive. Well let's get you signed up then. I'll call ahead and let them know we have a late arrival."

    "Thank you!" the boy smiles with relief.


    After signing in they quickly usher me into a room with several cubicles. Each one holding a computer terminal. I can see several other applicants already seated. Kind of reminds me of when I went to get my GED. In a way I'm glad to be going back to school. Being home-schooled all my life I missed out on a lot of the social interaction.

    "Here you will take the Duel Academy written exam. You have forty minutes to answer the questions to the best of your ability. The written exam counts for 50% of your total score." A generic looking female proctor in an Obelisk Blue uniform explains as she shows me to my seat.

    "How much do I need to pass overall?" I ask.

    "The minimum for a passing grade is 75%" She replies politely.

    So just like getting a GED. I can do this. Taking a deep breath to calm my nerves I sit down and she logs me in to the terminal.


    I scroll down the list of the first set of ten questions. All of them multiple choice.

    Ok this is looking good. Even if I don't know the answer I can at least rule out the obviously incorrect ones and guess from the remainder. I love multiple choice tests! It's so easy to fake your way through them.

    First question. {What are the three types of cards?}

    #1 Monster, Fusion, Ritual.

    #2 Normal, Effect, Continuous.

    #3 Monster, Spell, Trap.

    #4 Equip, Quick-Play, Counter.

    Are..are they serious? I select option 3 and move on.

    {How many Life Points do you start with?}

    #1 2000

    #2 4000

    #3 6000

    #4 8000

    I almost immediately select 4 by impulse, but then I remember this is the anime and click on number 2 instead.

    {What is the correct order of turn phases?}

    This is fucking stupid! Anyone who actually bothered to read the instruction manual could answer these! Shaking my head I breeze through the rest of the fifty questions. I wonder if they grade me on time as well?


    After the test the proctor stands at the head of the room. All heads look up from their terminals as she speaks.

    "Next will be a series of virtual practice duels. You will be presented with a scenario and given a prearranged selection of cards with the goal of defeating your opponent in one turn. You have twenty minutes to complete as many test duels as you can."


    I look down at the screen as it changes to show a virtual dueling field. Cards fly across the screen and arrange themselves into position on the board.

    My opponent has Jinzo, Goblin Attack Force, Five-Headed Dragon, and a face-down card in the back row.

    I have Fatal Abacus face-up on the field while Back to Square One, Ritual Foregone, Manju, Fissure, Ectoplasmer, and Ruin Queen of Oblivion are in my hand, and there's one card left in my deck.

    Duel Puzzles? Oh my god! I fucking love these things! How do I win in one turn? Oh I can check my deck? Neat. Shinato, King of a Higher Plane? Hmm. I have 1600 LP and he has 2150.

    I give myself a minute to think before acting. For my first move I activate Back to Square One, discarding Queen for the cost, and bounce his Jinzo back to the deck.

    Then activate Fissure which pops Goblin. Abacus, which was previously negated by Jinzo, activates and burns him for 500 because a monster was sent to the Graveyard.

    Then I Summon Manju of the Ten Thousand Hands and use his effect to add Shinato to my hand. Next I drop Ectoplasmer on the field, and finally activate Ritual Foregone which lets me summon Shinato without needing Tributes for the cost of 1,000 LP.

    "HAhaha, burn!" I chuckle softly as I proceed to End Phase and tribute Shinato with Ectoplasmer to inflict half of Shinato's ATK points as damage to my opponent. The AI loses their remaining 1650 Life Points netting me the win.


    The board clears as a new set of cards flash across the screen.

    The AI only has two cards, Sword of Revealing Light and Doomcaliber Knight.

    I have Man-Eater Bug, Skill Drain, and Mask of Restrict on the field, and Breaker the Magical Warrior, Creature Swap, and Emergency Provisions in my hand.

    Snorting dismissively I activate Mask of Restrict to prevent the AI from using Doomcaliber's effect. Then I Normal Summon Breaker and pop Sword of Revealing Light.

    Next I activate Skill Drain before Flip Summoning my own Man-Eater Bug. Skill Drain negates Bug, but that's ok because I didn't want Bug's effect to go off. I need my opponent to keep their monster so I can steal it with Creature Swap and give them the weaker Man-Eater in exchange.

    "And that's game!" I say and attack over the tiny bug with Breaker and the AI's own Doomcaliber.


    I'm on my thirteenth duel puzzle and starting to feel my brain cramp when I hear the electronic ding signaling the end of the test. Breathing a sigh of relief I lean back in my chair and stretch.

    "Congratulations to all applicants who completed the tests." The proctor speaks from the front of the room again. "Your results are being processed and will be given to you shortly. Refreshments have been provided for you down the hall."

    Everyone stands up and starts to funnel out of the exam room. I wait a moment for the crowd to lighten up a bit before joining them.

    I follow the group to a break room where several tables and folding chairs have been set out with trays of cookies, cakes, and other snack foods. Against the wall is a big coffee maker, a couple tea dispensers, and stacks of paper cups. I take one and fill it from the dispenser marked for sweet tea and sit down somewhere in the corner away from the crowd.

    "Man some of those duel puzzles were hard."

    "How many did you get?"


    "That's not bad, I got six."

    "I heard some kid got fifteen yesterday."

    "No way!"

    I listen to the gossip and sip my tea. Fifteen? Who the- Bastion. I bet it was Bastion Misawa. It has to be. Damn I nearly came close to Bastion's score? I'm not sure how I feel about that. He's suppose to be a genius, but kind of fell flat when actual dueling was involved.

    I wonder what ever happened to him in the series? I remember he dueled that Amazon girl and then just kind of got put on a bus or something. He was kind of forgettable.

    Wonder if I'll get into Ra Yellow instead of Slifer Red? Would that be good or bad? I don't know anyone in Ra except for Bastion. I could probably slip under the radar easier in Ra Yellow.

    Slifer Red would put me under the eyes of Professor Lyman Banner who's working as a spy for Kagemaru. Then again Lyman's not really a bad guy. And what do I care if Kagemaru wants the Sacred Beasts? They suck ass. If he wants them, I say he can fucking have them.

    He's nothing compared to what's coming.

    "Jaden Yuki?" a voice asks.

    With a depressed sigh I look up at the proctor who just entered the room. In her hand is a stack of folders.

    "Here." I raise my hand.

    "I have your test results." She walks over and hands me one of the folders which has Jaden's name on it. "Oh and congratulations. You tied for first place with another applicant."

    "What?" I accept the folder and hesitantly open it. A bold 100% score stares back at me, and my eyebrows shoot up past my hair. Obelisk Blue's not a bad option either.
  4. Threadmarks: chapter 4

    PrinceJonathan Versed in the lewd.

    Dec 2, 2016
    Likes Received:
    The King has Left the Building

    After the written exam they tell me there will be a short break before they can prepare the practical portion of the test for me. So I take the time to wander around the arena and scope out the duels already currently going on. See if I can see any familiar faces.

    Oh! There's Alexis and Zane up at the top. Dayum! Not only is she packing a pair that would make a pornstar blush, but she's got legs that go all the way up. I swear it's criminal how her character design does not include thigh-highs.

    Is it wrong for a 34yr old trapped in the body of a 15yr old because of some Freaky Friday bullshit to lust after another 15yr old? Probably. Most definitely. But if it's wrong, I don't want to be right.

    ♪Anime thighs when she opens up so wide, I get a twinkle in my eye. Asian pussy is so tight. I just really want to pipe. Oh my god, she got them big ass titties. She's only five.♪

    HA-HA, I'm going to jail!

    Sigh. It's a nice fantasy, but that's all it will ever be. She way too far out of my league. What am I talking about? I don't even have a league.

    And then there's Zane. I hope I never have to duel him. Out of all the characters in GX, he's the one with the closest thing to a meta deck. Yeesh, and I say that when he's running shit like fucking Cyber Laser Dragon and Cyber Barrier Dragon.

    He's the one guy Jaden was never able to defeat over the course of the entire series. Then again they only ever dueled twice as I recall. Jaden lost the first game, and only barely managed to end in a draw for the second one.

    Well the first game happened early in the first season and only because Jaden specifically called Zane out because of his poor treatment towards his little brother Syrus. So I should be able to avoid that by simply not going looking for trouble.

    Speaking of the little Card Trooper, where is the squirt? Poor kid's got even less self-esteem than I do.

    Ah, there he is! Do I really want to ingratiate myself with the main characters though? It feels kind of creepy since I already know them on such a deep and personal level. Probably even better than they know themselves.

    Some of them do have cards I desperately want, so I need to at least be on good terms with them so that they'll trade me any spare copies they may have. Ok let's do this. Deep breaths. Deep breaths.


    I walk up next to Syrus right as Bastion blows up his own monster with Ring of Destruction which reduces his opponent's LP to zero.

    "Wooo" I whistle causing the smol boy to jump in surprise. "Pretty slick move blowing up his own monster like that. Who is he?"

    "That's Bastion Misawa." Syrus replies. "They say he tied for the top score with another applicant."

    "Really?" I fake my surprise. "That's impressive."

    "Yeah. Oh? I'm Syrus by the way. Nice to meet you." Syrus turns and looks back down over the arena. "I kind of have a thing where I get test anxiety. I don't know how I won my match."

    Neither do I, because they never showed it. "Well congratulations! At least your in, right?" I flash the little guy a smile. He just needs a little positive reinforcement. His brother is kind of a dick.

    "I'm Jaden Yuki." The name tastes like ash in my mouth. Being constantly reminded of my mistake is going to drive me crazy. Let's see if we can change that. "But you can call me Jay."

    Yeah I can handle being called Jay. Both of our names start with the letter J. And maybe I could try to get my old roleplay name to catch on. It's basically the same as my real life surname. "I'm also partial to the name Judicael." I extend a friendly handshake forward which Syrus cautiously accepts.

    He blinks in confusion for a second before something inside him clicks into place. "Y-your the one who tied with Bastion Misawa?!!"

    "E'yup." I flash a thumbs up.

    Suddenly I hear someone's cellphone go off. Who the fu- Oh? I look around and notice a commotion in the faculty box. Looks like Crowler's getting his ass chewed out by the headmaster. Or dean? Or is it chancellor? I wonder how many complaints Crowler actually has on his record?

    As I watch my future opponent walk off in a huff I notice Bastion take a seat right below me. "Hey, that was a pretty good move there with Ring of Destruction."

    He looks over his shoulder for a moment before turning back. "Thank you." He replies politely.

    "My name's Jaden Yuki." I extend a handshake again. "But you can call me Judicael."

    "Judicael?" He repeats while returning the gesture.

    "It's a name that is special to me. One that I hope to be known by." I reply. "You know, when I make it big and all. It means-"

    "Judicael, the French form of the Old Breton name Iudicael. Derived from the words iudd meaning 'Lord' or 'Prince' and hael meaning 'Generous'." Bastion recites as if he's reading straight from a dictionary.

    I quietly stare deadpan into Bastion's face.


    He sputters in shock. "Excuse me?"

    "Not that there's anything wrong with being a nerd." I shrug nonchalantly and laugh. "It's just holy shit! No one ever knows what that name means off the top of their head. I either have to tell them or they look it up themselves."

    The PA system chimes three times. {Will Jaden Yuki please report to exam field #4.}

    I look down at the field and see Crowler already waiting for me. Ugh..let's get this over with. "Looks like I'm up." I say cheerfully. "Wish me luck guys."

    Bastion watches in silence as I walk down the steps.

    "Wow, he's so sure of himself." Syrus exclaims.

    "He's going to need to be. Look at who he's dueling." Bastion adds with a nod towards the field.

    "Vellian Crowler." I pause in my descent and state flatly. "The guy looks like a fucking sex offender."

    Syrus gasps and covers his mouth with his hands while Bastion and several other nearby applicants look on in shock. Some of them start to laugh and gossip among themselves. Good, let the rumor spread and grow. Grow!

    "Jay, you shouldn't say things like that about a teacher!" the little half-pint speaks up.

    "Oh come on, the guy wears purple lipstick. Then he's got those stupid pink frills on his clothes." I point out. "Plus his neck looks like a saggy scrotum sack."

    {Jaden Yuki please report to exam field #4.}

    "Pray for me guys." I wave back and continue down the steps to the arena. "Pray for my tender virgin innocence."

    Bastions sits back in his seat and folds his arms. "There's nothing innocent about that guy." He says once I'm out of earshot.

    "Uh huh." Syrus nods in agreement.


    I walk out onto the field hopefully conveying an aura of calm even though my insides feel like a flock of butterflies. Deep breaths. You worked hard on your deck. It is..well..not flawless, but it's the best I can do with nothing but Structure Deck commons and what few rare cards Jaden already possessed.

    Even if I lose I should still get into the academy. I only need a score of 25% because I aced the written test. Although I have no idea how they actually grade this. As long as I don't misplay or do any illegal moves I should be fine.

    "So, son. Your name?" Crowler asks.

    I bow politely. "Jaden Yuki, Professor Crowler sir."

    He cocks an eyebrow. "That's Doctor Crowler to you. I have a Ph.D in Dueling, and I am the Department Chair of Techniques at Duel Academy."

    Yeah, I don't care.

    "Let's get started then. Duel Vest on!" He continues and presses a button on the chest plate of his overly complicated Duel Disk and begins to draw his opening hand.

    "Hold on! Aren't we supposed to shuffle each other's decks before the match?" I ask. "You know, to ensure neither of us are stacking our cards?"

    He looks up angrily and snarls. "What?! How dare you insinuate that I would stoop so low as to cheat!"

    The PA system chimes and a voice crackles over the static.

    {He's right Doctor Crowler. Normally we ignore that rule during these exams because the Practice Decks are supposed to be stacked in order to test the applicant against specific scenarios in a live setting, but you neglected to register a Practice Deck for this duel.}


    "Crowler is using his own deck instead of one of the Test Decks?" an Obelisk Blue student with a nasally voice look on in awe.

    "Then this guy doesn't stand a chance. No applicant can beat the deck of an expert like Doctor Crowler. What do you think Chazz?" a second student look up to the seat behind him where a third student sits like a lord on his throne.

    "I think I'm going to enjoy watching Crowler mop the floor with our mouthy little friend down there." Chazz smirks. "I only wish he treated all the other second rate Duelists who apply to this academy the same way."


    Alexis Rhodes holds her chin in her palm as she leans on the railing in front of her with her elbow. "What an elitist snob bullying some amateur with his very best cards."

    Her friend Zane stands next to her looking bored. "You're too soft Alexis. I just hope we get to see that legendary rare monster Crowler has had stashed away in that deck of his."


    Crowler looks up at the faculty box and growls in disgust before placing his cards back into his deck. "Very well."

    We slowly approach each other and meet in the middle of the field. Crowler glares down at me as he hands over his deck and takes mine. "Damage my cards, and I'll see to it that you never duel again."

    I wordlessly begin a standard Hindu Shuffle which causes Crowler to take pause. "Well at least you had the decency to study proper shuffling technique." He snorts dismissively and begins to do the same to my deck.

    Proper technique? There is no proper technique. Every single method of shuffling I could find either doesn't truly randomize your deck unless you repeat it like ten thousand times, or it damages the cards by bending them or smashing them together.

    Hindu is too easy to manipulate with sleight of hand. Probably why Yugi was shown using it when he dueled Marik in Battle City. But it's one of the safest shuffling methods for protecting your cards.

    Riffling is apparently the best for randomizing, but you end up bending your cards out of shape in the end.

    Unfortunately we aren't playing on a table top so I can't actually perform a Riffle shuffle even if I wanted to. Duel Disks really need to come with an auto-shuffler but I don't think those become a thing until 5Ds.

    After shuffling seven times we pass our decks back to each other and resume our positions on opposite sides of the field.

    The blades of Jaden's old Battle City-style Duel Disk snap together and the wrist computer chimes as it boots up. Damn this thing's pretty neat. Feels completely different than the crappy plastic toy we got back home. It's got some heft to it, but it's not uncomfortable. I bet I could chuck it against a wall and do more damage to the wall than to it. Not that I'm itching to try.

    I slide my deck back into the slot on my Disk and the Life Point counters flashes on the field showing a value of 4000. "DUEL!"
  5. CmirDarthanna

    CmirDarthanna Experienced.

    Nov 25, 2018
    Likes Received:
    Crowler looks like a soggy sock puppet drenched in grape juice.
  6. Threadmarks: chapter 5

    PrinceJonathan Versed in the lewd.

    Dec 2, 2016
    Likes Received:
    The King has Left the Building

    "So who goes first?" I ask while drawing my opening 5 cards.

    "You may begin. This is your test after all." Crowler replies sounding bored already. 'But since I'm using my own personal deck, I'll be the one calling all the shots.'

    "Alright." Looking over my hand I see that I have drawn Tribe-Infecting Virus, Masked Dragon, Pyramid Turtle, Mirror Force, and Spirit Reaper. Damn it, I forgot to take Mirror Force out. It's useless against Ancient Gears.

    "Draw." I look down at my first card and see Soul Exchange. Not good right now, but maybe later when I draw a Monarch. I'll set Masked Dragon then and start thinning my deck out.

    "I Set a monster face-down in defense, and end my turn." I state. Not the most flashy of first turns, but it's all I can do.

    "Is that all? Hmph, pathetic. I'd give that turn an F for Failure." Crowler frowns. "Draw!"

    Crowler slides a card into one of his backrow slots. "I pay 1000 Life Points to activate Confiscation! With it I can look at your hand and send 1 card in it straight to the graveyard!"

    My eyes widen in shock as Crowler's LP dip down. (Jaden 4000/Crowler 3000)

    What?!! Even after all that shuffling he's going to make the exact same plays that he did on the show!

    I couldn't change this?!

    Holographic images of my cards appear in front of him. "Oh yes, I remember some of these from when I was a naive rookie. Now which one should I banish?" He hums as he studies my cards. "Tribe-Infecting Virus to the Graveyard!"

    Stunned and confused I chuck the card into the discard slot.

    "Next I activate Ancient Gear Castle!" He shouts dramatically as the Continuous Spell hits the field and an ancient stone clockwork castle rises from the ground behind him.

    My shoulders sag in relief. Ok so this duel isn't going to be exactly the same as the show. Ha, ha...I was terrified there for a minute.

    "Scared?" Crowler asks tauntingly upon seeing my reaction. "You should be, because next I summon Ancient Gear Soldier in Attack Mode!" His clockwork rifleman appears on the field with a mechanical whirl of gears. "And the effect of my Ancient Gear Castle raises the Attack Power of all Ancient Gear monsters on the field by 300!" Crowler says while hamming it up. Ancient Gear Soldier (1300->1600/1300)

    "Then every time a monster is Normal Summoned or Set it gets a counter placed on it." He explains as a flickering candlelight appears in one of the castle's tower windows. (Castle Counter 1)

    "And you can sacrifice it to summon a higher level Ancient Gear monster without Tribute if the counters are equal or greater than the required Tributes." I interrupt his monologue in order to hurry the duel along. "I can read the stupid thing you know."


    "He's got a bit of a mouth on him, doesn't he Chazz?" one of the Obelisk Blue students in the bleachers asks.

    "Whatever." Chazz sneers while looking down at the match. "He's just another worthless punk. Crowler's gonna mop the floor with him. Just you watch."


    A vein pops on Crowler's forehead. Oh boy, I think I made him mad. "Can you now? Well read this, Ancient Gear Soldier attack his monster!" He barks in command.

    An image of Masked Dragon (1400/1100) laying curled up appears. I have to plug my ears as his 1600 ATK Soldier fills my dragon full of holes with its machine gun. Holy fuck that is loud!

    "When Masked Dragon is destroyed by battle and sent to the graveyard, I can summon another dragon from my Deck with 1500 or less Attack, and I pick another Masked Dragon in Defense Mode." I say as I search my deck and slap the card on the field.

    "That thing again?" Crowler scoffs. "I don't see why you'd bother. I'll just destroy it again." He shrugs and places 1 card down in his backrow. "I Set one card on the field and end my turn."

    Good, he's got two cards left in his hand. He's over extended. If I can draw Mobius I can pop both of his backrow, destroy his shit Soldier, and he'd be hard pressed to recover from it.

    Let's go! "Draw!" I look at my card and struggle to keep my face neutral. Creature Swap, damn. Couldn't I have at least drawn Mystical Space Typhoon or Heavy Storm? No matter.

    "First I switch Masked Dragon into Attack Mode!" My Dragon opens its eyes and uncurls itself. It stands up and flares out its wings as it stares down my opponent.

    "Next I activate the Spell Card, Creature Swap!" I place the card on the field. "Now we each choose a monster we control, and pass that control over to our opponents! And since you only control one, I'll be taking your little tin tinker toy."

    Crowler scowls as our two monsters glow and trade places.


    Alexis's eyes widen as she watches the duel going on below. "Wow, this new guy's got some moves. What do you think Zane?"

    The top duelist in the school folds his arms and frowns down at the spectacle. "It's not that impressive. It's a pretty common trick when using cards like Masked Dragon."


    "Now Soldier, attack Masked Dragon!" I command.

    The same scene as before repeats only this time on opposite sides. Again I have to cover my ears due to the sound of gunfire. Isn't there a volume control on this thing?

    Masked Dragon explodes and Crowler's LP drop by 200. (Jaden 4000/ Crowler 2800)

    "And even though it was on your side of the field, it goes to my Graveyard and so I get to use its effect. Masked Dragon number three come on out..." I continue as my final dragon appears this time with a mighty roar. "and attack him directly!"

    "Not so fast, slacker!" Crowler's face-down card reveals itself. "I activate Mirror Force!"

    Masked Dragon's fireball is reflected back at me which destroys both my dragon and Crowler's Soldier. I shield my face from the wind and smoke. Jeez, the immersion on these holograms is ridiculous. Imagine playing Skyrim with this kind of tech.

    Sighing in resignation of my plan going up in literal smoke, I lay Pyramid Turtle (1200/1400) face-down causing Ancient Gear Castle to get its second counter. It can't be helped. I need bodies on the board. "I Set a monster in Defense and end my turn." (Castle Counter 2)

    Shit, I'm down to Soul Exchange, my own useless Mirror Force, and Spirit Reaper. This is not going well.

    "Giving up already?" Crowler asks smugly. "Clearly you're not cut out for this. Draw!"

    Without pause he slaps his drawn card on the field immediately. "I activate Premature Burial, and pay 800 Life Points in order to bring back my Ancient Gear Soldier!" (Jaden 4000/ Crowler 2000)

    His Soldier returns to the field only to immediately vanish in a cloud of golden particles.

    "But he won't be staying for long. Because I sacrifice it to summon Ancient Gear Beast (2000->2300/2000)!" Crowler plays another card and a metal saber-toothed tiger that stands a head taller than him appears with a mechanical roar. "And don't forget Ancient Gear Castle raises its attack by 300!" (Castle Counter 3)

    "Now attack his face-down monster!" He commands.

    His Beast charges forth and bites down on my Turtle which is hiding inside its shell. Unfortunately it's not enough to protect it and my Turtle explodes into particles.


    "It's going to be difficult for him to pull out of this one." Bastion looks on with rapt attention.

    "What do you mean?" Syrus timidly asks.

    "Normally Pyramid Turtle would allow him to summon a Zombie monster from his deck, just like Masked Dragon can with Dragon monsters. But when Ancient Gear Beast destroys a monster in battle, that monster's effects are negated." Bastion explains.

    'And I think I know what kind of deck he's running.' Bastion keeps to himself.

    "Oh." Syrus turns back to watch the match. 'I kind of feel bad for him. He looked so confident earlier.'


    I place Pyramid Turtle into the Graveyard as Crowler smiles smugly. "Not going to activate its effect?"

    "I already know your Beast negated it, Doctor. I'm not stupid." I reply with a flat look.

    "Really?" Crowler says in fake disbelief. "Could have fooled me. I end my turn."

    How did this guy become a teacher anyway? "Draw" I look at my card and nearly cheer. Immediately I slide it into my Duel Disk. "I activate Fissure which destroys the monster with the lowest Attack on your side of the field!"

    Ancient Gear Beast shatters into particles and I take great joy in Crowler's shocked face. "Next I summon Spirit Reaper (300/200) in Attack Mode!" A spooky scary skeleton with a scythe and purple robe appears floating in the air before me.

    "Attack his Life Points directly!" My Reaper rushes forward and slashes Crowler across the chest. Physically he takes no damage, but he does get knocked back. Holograms are bullshit, yo!

    "You'll pay for that, punk!" Crowler growls through clinched teeth. (Jaden 4000/Crowler 1700)

    "No, you'll pay." I respond. "With one card randomly chosen from your hand thanks to Spirit Reaper's effect."

    The images of the two remaining cards in Crowler's hand float in front of him with their backs facing me so I cannot see them. Reaper slashes through the image of the left one with its scythe.

    I don't think Crowler's face could get any more sour as he sends the selected card to the graveyard. "With that I'll end my turn."

    "I'll teach you not to make a fool of me." He growls and draws a card. Suddenly all of the anger leaves his face only to be replaced with a cruel grin.

    Uh-oh, I don't like the looks of this.

    "I sacrifice my Ancient Gear Castle!"


    "In order to summon.."


    "ANCIENT GEAR GOLEM (3000/3000)!"

    A giant titan of metal and gears rises from the ground until its head nearly reaches the ceiling of the arena. It stares down at me with a single glowing Terminator-like eye.


    Alexis' eyes widen in surprise. "There it is! The legendary rare card!"

    Zane expression turns serious. "And I'd say we're about to find out what makes it so legendary."


    Crowler shields his mouth with the back of his hand as he chortles. "Now, now. I hope you're not too scared of my legendary Ancient Gear Golem."

    Ok. That's fine. This is fine. What do I care if this lucksacking piece of shit is beating me?

    Crowler blinks in confusion as instead of looking worried I smile and start clapping. "Actually kudos to you Doc for playing a boss monster that's halfway worth a damn. 3000 Attack points, immunity to battle traps, and piercing damage. Only downside is it cannot be Special Summoned."

    "What was that you just said?" Crowler asks looking confused.

    I blink. "Huh?"

    "Battle traps? Piercing damage?" He repeats.

    "Oh..well." I scratch my head and shrug. "It's just saying Ancient Gear Golem's entire effect word-for-word is too much of a mouthful. It's quicker to just say it's immune to battle effects, and it can pierce through a monster's defenses."

    "I mean seriously." I continue. "When this card attacks with an ATK that is higher than the DEF of a Defense Position monster, inflict the difference as Battle Damage to your opponent's Life Points. If this card attacks, your opponent cannot activate any Spell or Trap Cards until the end of the Damage Step."

    I give it a second to let it sink in. "Who the fuck wrote all that crap?"


    "Huh, I never thought of that." Alexis blinks in wonder.

    Zane hums while looking thoughtful.


    Bastion rubs his chin. "Condensing card text to use keywords instead would make the game much simpler."

    "Wow, Jay sure is smart." Syrus remarks in awe.


    "I see." Crowler says. 'This slacker might not be so dumb after all.'

    "I'd like to discuss this more, but we have a Duel to continue. Now, Golem! Attack his Spirit Reaper with Mechanized Melee!" He points dramatically.

    Do all cards have signature attacks, or is it just the character's ace monsters? Are the names part of the card, or do the players just make them up on the fly?

    Ancient Gear Golem's fist passes right through Spirit Reaper's body like a ghost. I cross my arms in front of me to block Golem's fist as it comes straight for me and pushes me back a few feet. (Jaden 1300/Crowler 1700)

    Damn! If I can't get rid of his Golem on my next turn I'll lose.


    "I don't get it." Syrus exclaims. "What just happened? Why did Jay take the hit but not Spirit Reaper?"

    "Spirit Reaper cannot be destroyed in battle." Bastion replies. "But it was still in Attack Position so damage is calculated normally."

    'And if I were to guess, he'll use it as a tribute to summon a monster next turn, and I bet I know just which one it will be.' Bastion leans forward and watches with interest.


    "Just give up." Crowler says as I brush the dust off my clothes.

    "Nah." I wave him off. "I good."

    I made my deck with the Meta in mind. Figured I could use both it and the Heart of the Cards to make up for my lack of Jaden-grade Supreme King Plot Armor. I've put too much focus on the Meta side of things, and while it's gotten me this far, now it's time for the Heart.

    Monarchs! I know I screwed up. I mean I fucked up royally big time (pun intended). I don't belong in this world, and I don't know how to set things right. Or if things can even be set right. But I swear I will try to make up for my mistake. I'll believe in you, if you will believe in me. So please, lend me your power.

    "Well take your turn then." Crowler scoffs. "It will be your last."

    I draw my card and smile softly. "You're right about one thing, Doc."

    "This will be my final turn as I sacrifice my Spirit Reaper.." I send my monster to the graveyard. "to Tribute Summon Zaborg the Thunder Monarch (2400/1000)!"

    A bolt of lightning slams into the ground in front of me. From the center of the arcs of electricity dancing across the ground rises a giant humanoid figure in heavy silver armor and a stripped yellow skirt around his waist. What I at first thought was a giant afro large enough to make Bobobo bo-Bobobo jealous turns out to actually be a globe of glowing green lightning like one of those novelty plasma lamps.

    He looks so cool with his arms folded across his chest in a trademark Gainax Pose while he stares menacingly at Ancient Gear Golem. I can practically hear Libera Me from Hell in the background. I wonder, can Duel Disks play soundtracks?

    All the color drains from Crowler's face and his mouth drops open in shock.

    "Judging by your reaction I'm guessing you already know what this means. When Zaborg is Tribute Summoned, he destroys one monster on the field. And I pick your Ancient Gear Golem!" I point.

    "NOOO!!!" Crowler cries as Zaborg extends a clawed finger towards his monster. A giant column of lightning descends from the sky and slams into Golem like the fist of an angry god saying Fuck This One Guy In Particular. Instantly the metal giant is vaporized.

    Well don't feel too bad Crowler, at least this time it won't come crashing down on top of you.

    "Now finish him off, Zaborg, with.." Electricity arcs across Zaborg's body and I hear the distant rumble of thunder. Somehow a name just pops into my head. "..Rolling Thunder!"

    Zaborg brings his hands together and lighting collects in the space between them forming a ball of energy which he then fires directly at Crowler.

    He screams in panic as the ball collides with him. The shocking discharge causes the Doctor's hair to stand up on end in a comical poof before he falls over backwards and starts twitching on the ground. (Jaden 1300/Crowler 0)

    "Wooo, glad that's over." I sigh in relief as the field clears and my Duel Disk shuts down. "I need to pee." I think I drank too much tea back in the break room.


    "Wow, he actually won." Alexis looks happily surprised.


    "What's wrong, Zane? I thought you'd be more impressed." She asks.

    "He's intelligent, but his dueling skills need serious work if he wants to make it in this school." Zane turns and starts to walk away.


    "It must be dumb luck! No way Crowler could lose to some flunky!" Chazz looks on in disbelief. 'Just who the hell is this guy?'


    'So I was right. He is playing Monarchs.' Bastion calmly leans back in his seat as Syrus runs down the stairs cheering.

    "Way to go, Jay!" the blue-haired halfpint shouts over the edge of the railing as his new friend smiles and waves back.

    "This Judicael fellow might be a worthy opponent after all." Bastion smirks.
  7. Threadmarks: chapter 6

    PrinceJonathan Versed in the lewd.

    Dec 2, 2016
    Likes Received:
    The King has Left the Building

    "♪Chilling out with the crew in the school yard. Finding trouble, never looking too hard. Well back at class they never taught us this. Some things you gotta learn, hit or miss. Tough times, hard climbs, We'll take them on together. Right now, let's go! Game on, get your game on! Come on ya better play your cards right. Game on, get your ga-♪"

    Bastion groans from the seat behind me. "Will you please stop singing that atrocious song!"

    I stop my little impromptu concert and tilt my head to talk over the headrest. "What's the matter, Bastion? You don't like Butt Rock?"

    He quirks an eyebrow. "I'm sorry, but did you just say Butt Rock?"

    "Yeah, you know.." I reply cheerfully. "the kind of music on those radio stations that play nothing but Rock. Get it? Butt Rock."

    "Ugh." He pinches the bridge of his nose and shakes his head in disgust at the terrible pun. "Your jokes are almost as bad as your singing."

    I turn to the seat next to me where Syrus has his hands covering his mouth to stifle his laughter. I tried to get him to sing along, but he was way too bashful.

    Slowly I lean in and whisper into the little guy's ear. "Butt Rock."

    "Pfffffff." Syrus giggle-snorts into his hands. "Butt Rock." He mutters softly.

    "Meh, I was getting tired of that song anyway." I shift in my seat to get comfortable and enjoy the rest of the helicopter ride to Duel Academy. I'm surprised at how quiet it is. I thought helicopters were suppose to be noisy, but with whatever sound-dampening tech Kaiba must have put on this thing you can barely hear the blades chopping.

    I look out the window and watch the clouds pass us by while I try to figure out what I'm going to do when we get there.

    One thing I learned from my duel against Crowler. I severely underestimated how things work here. I thought I could hide behind my floaters until I drew a Monarch and go from there, but I neglected to take into account one thing.

    We start with 4000 Life Points, not 8000.

    I can't afford to turtle up behind my floaters. One good hit and it's game over! OTK decks would have a field day if they only had to inflict half as much damage than they normally need.

    Don't get me started on Chain Burn. Ho boy.

    I need my deck to be more aggressive, but at the same time I don't want to sacrifice the deck's synergy. I could chuck in some beatsticks, but I need ways to maintain my card advantage too.

    Cyber Dragons would help immensely. A free special summon I can use to bait Trap Cards and then Normal Summon/Set a floater during my Main Phase 2, yes please! But fuck me if I know how to go about getting them. They aren't available in booster packs for some reason. Then of course I have no idea how Zane would react if I started using them.

    "Hey Sy." I start.

    "Huh?" He hums and looks up at me. "What is it Jay?"

    I turn away from the window to face the little guy. "Your brother is Zane Truesdale, right?"

    Syrus blinks at the sudden question coming out of no where. "Y-yeah..he's my Big Brother. Why?"

    "I heard that he uses Cyber Dragons. Where did he get them?" I ask. "I couldn't find them in any official booster packs. They aren't even available as Pro League prizes either."

    Syrus sighs in a way that tells me he's probably been asked that question a million times. "Because they're not available to the general public. The only way to get them is to join the Cyber-style Dojo run by Chancellor Sheppard and pass his test."

    "Sheppard? You mean the same guy running Duel Academy?" I already know who the guy is. I'm just saying that to keep up appearances.

    I wonder what the test would be? Probably beat him in a duel. That's what every test boils down to. He plays Cyber Ogre though. Damn thing needs a second Cyber Ogre in the hand just to use its effect. I can't even remember what the stupid thing does, so it must be garbage. I'd say it would be easy, but it most likely won't be.

    "Uh huh." He nods. "My brother had to train for three years before he was even allowed to use Cyber Dragon."

    "Damn, so much for that idea." I mumble and go back to staring out the window. Three years though. Seems kind of a silly thing to go through just for a card.

    "Trying to copy someone else's deck, Judicael?" Bastion asks with a smug tone in his voice. "Is your Monarch deck not good enough?"

    I snort in amusement. "You're right about it not being good enough, but no I'm Monarch through and through. It's in my name after all. The Generous Prince giving everyone an ass-whooping all wrapped up with a nice bow on top."

    "A Prince doesn't use foul language." Bastion points out.

    Neither did Jaden Yuki, and I'm trying to distance myself from him as much as possible. If only to keep what little sanity I have left. "Well tough shit. If people don't like it they can-"

    I am interrupted by the voice of the pilot coming through the speaker overhead.

    {Attention new Duel Academy students, if you look outside your windows you'll see your new home away from home. Now, now I know you're excited, but don't shove. Quite a sight, eh? Now then fasten your seatbelts and set your seats back to an upright postion. We're going in to land. Next stop, Academy Island.}

    Huh, we're here already? I look back out the window and motion with my hand for Syrus to climb over me so he can see as well.

    "Wow." he gasps in awe. "It's amazing."

    "Yeah it's something alright." I remark as I gaze upon Duel Academy surrounded by a dense forest under the shadow of a volcano. From here I can see each of the dorms and several other buildings.

    I can't believe I'm really here. I should be excited. GX was one of the best eras of Yugioh. It had so many diverse and interesting deck types. None of the current Link-era trash where every single deck summons the exact same Extra Deck monsters and then hides behind seven negates and a hand full of ghost lolis.

    I wanted to come here because I wanted to play the game again back when it was actually fun and not basically one big game of Solitaire. You don't even need an opponent any more. Just draw your opening hand, and if you can set up your wall of negates you win. If not, go to the next game.

    But the cost I ended up paying to come here may have doomed the entire world.

    There's nothing I can do about it except continue to push forward.

    I hate my life.


    After we landed we were directed to a check-in station where we were given our school uniforms, a PDA, and an official Duel Academy issue Duel Disk.

    The new Disk is amazingly light, but it also feels even more durable than Jaden's old Battle City model. What the hell did Kaiba make this thing out of? Did he somehow manage to make a new kind of plastic out of his own ego? I wouldn't put it past him.

    "Looking good little buddy!" I give a thumbs up as Syrus steps out of the changing room dressed in his new Slifer Red jacket.

    Syrus nervously scratches his cheek and looks away. "You really think so?"

    "E'yup." I say and pat my own red uniform. "Red uniforms are the best. They'll make us duel three times better!"

    "I don't think it works like that." Syrus replies. The reference clearly going over his head.

    "Whatever." I wave him off and pull out my new PDA out of my pocket. "We're suppose to go to the auditorium next for an announcement by the Chancellor. Now where's the map function on this thing?"

    Together we head out the door and follow the winding path up the gentle slope of the island towards the Academy. All the while I fiddle with the PDA. This thing feels like a brick. Not quite up to the standards of smartphones of 2020, but it's still pretty advanced. It's got video calls, a web browser, camera, and our class schedule.

    "Hey, did you see where Bastion went?" Syrus asks looking around at the crowd of other students walking with us.

    "I'm sure he's fine." I reply not looking up from the PDA. I wonder if I can get porn on this thing?


    After a brief message from Chancellor Sheppard via video feed (And why he couldn't just give his speech in person I don't know), Syrus and I take a break outside on the front lawn next to some stone sculpture because the little guy was tired from all that walking.

    I continue to fool around with the PDA's web browser. Seems there's a lock on the damned thing so no free porn for me. I'll need to find someone savvy enough to hack the stupid thing.

    "There you two are." a familiar voice causes me to look up to see Bastion dressed in a Ra Yellow uniform walking towards us. "I was wondering where you disappeared to."

    "Hey Bastion." I greet him with a wave. "I see you got into Ra Yellow. Maybe I should start calling you The King in Yellow from now on?"

    He stops in front of me and looks confused. "I don't think that reference works here as I don't play an eldritch horror deck. Also why are you in Slifer Red colors? I thought with your test scores you'd surely be in the Yellow dorm with me, or even in Obelisk Blue."

    "Personally I blame Crowler for being a salty-ass pussy bitch because I beat him." I climb to my feet and dust the grass off my pants. I hear Syrus have a coughing fit somewhere behind me. "Of course my own poor performance probably factored in a little bit."

    "Or more likely it was your vulgar mouth." Bastion smirks as he straightens his collar. "Well good luck in Slifer Red, Judicael."

    "See ya, Bastion." I wave goodbye as he heads off down the path to the Yellow dorm. Shit I forgot to ask him if he had any extra Hydrogeddons. Eh, I'll ask him later.

    "Come on Sy, we'd best get to our dorm and unpack." I turn around and find the little guy bent over forward with a hand bracing himself on the statue. "Woah, dude! Are you ok?!"

    "Heeheehaha p-p-pussy b-bitch." Syrus gasps for air.

    "Ok Sy. Breathe man, breathe." I gently pat him on the back. "I don't need your brother angry with me because I taught you some colorful new words."


    "This isn't a dorm, it's like an outhouse with a deck." Syrus remarks upon our first look at the Silfer Red dorms. Well his first look anyway.

    "It's not that bad, Sy." I reply as we climb up the steps to the second floor. "As long as the roof doesn't leak and the gutters aren't falling off, it'll be fine."

    "If you say so." He sighs not sounding so sure.

    It really doesn't look all that bad. Sure the paint is peeling a bit on the outside, and the wooden railing is a bit rickety, but I've seen worse. Hell I've lived in worse.

    Glancing down at the paper in my hand with our room number on it I double check the number over the door. "Here we are." I unlock the door with the key they provided me and we step inside.

    "It's kind of small, huh." Syrus notes.

    "Well you're a small guy." Together we take a look around. There's a small kitchen area next to the entrance with a sink and a small stove top with only two burners on it. A pale faded blue couch sits against the left wall. Next to it is a pair of desks in the corner. And on the right is a triple-tier bunk bed.

    Honestly it's surprisingly clean for a boarding school dorm room. Especially when I know it's already occupied. You'd think there would be clothing and clutter scattered about, but the place looks barely lived in. I guess Chumley is a bit of a neat freak.

    Syrus take a few sniffs of the air. "Why does it smell like cheese?"

    "Yeah it is kind of stuffy in here, but that's nothing a little fresh air can't fix." I move over to the window and open the curtains.

    Light spills into the room and we hear a grumpy voice from behind us. "Hey, those were closed for a reason!"

    Syrus jumps in the air and screams as a lump on the top bunk rolls over and a giant scary looking koala bear pokes its head over the side and growls.

    "Would you stop your screaming!" He asks. "Who are you and what are you doing in my room?"

    "You must be Chumley Huffington, then." I reply. "My friends call me Jay, and this is Syrus Truesdale. We're your new roommates."

    "H-hi." Syrus mutters as he shrinks away. "Sorry about the screaming."

    Chumley grunts rudely and rolls over. "You're new alright so let me tell you how things work here."

    "Like when parent's week is going to be?" Syrus asks having calmed down.

    "Nah, he's probably about to explain the whole color ranking system." I reply.

    "Well duh, I take it you already know how it works?" Chumley rolls over to face us.

    "Yup." I nod and tick off the following on my fingers. "Obelisk Blue are the rich snobs. Most of whom couldn't duel their way out of a wet paper sack and only got their positions through money or social connections. Then there's Ra Yellow where the actual smart players with lots of potential go. And then Slifer Red is at the bottom."

    Chumley huffs in annoyance and rolls back over. "Bottom of the barrel you mean. Dueling duds, that's what we are."

    Syrus's expression falls and I lay a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Ah don't let him get you down Sy. Really the whole pecking order thing is mostly because Seto Kaiba is a jerk and looks down on Yugi for beating him all the time. We may be Slifer Red, but remember who the real King of Games is."

    I lean in close to whisper in his ear. "I'll give you a hint. It's not Seto Fucking Kaiba."

    The corners of Syrus' mouth twitch and I stand back up and clap him on the back. "I know what will cheer you up. What say we take a look around the school grounds? I hear they have a really awesome card shop."

    Syrus reluctantly nods. "Okay."


    Syrus and I trudge back up the path towards the Academy. I walk at a relaxed pace while the little guy drags his feet behind me. Seems Chumley's words are still messing with his head.

    "So, what kind of deck do you run little buddy?" I ask trying to start up a conversation to break the silence and hopefully get Sy out of his funk.

    "Huh?" Syrus looks up as he's snapped from his thoughts. "Oh um..r-roids. I play a Vehicroid deck."

    I give a soft whistle of approval. "Roids have got some nice monsters. Can't say I'd build a deck out of them though, but there's certainly some potential there. They just need a bit more support."

    "What do you mean?" Syrus asks.

    "Well take Steamroid for example. It's pretty powerful for a Level 4 monster." I reply. "It can run over basically anything under 2300 ATK, but at the same time it can also be run over itself just as easily."

    "Yeah..that's true." He looks down sadly. Likely he's remembering that very situation biting him in the ass on several occasions.

    "Hey don't look so glum." I quickly backpedal. "That just means you need to cover for Steamroid's weakness with things like Mirror Force, or even Magic Cylinder."

    Syrus frowns again. "Except I don't have Mirror Force or Magic Cylinder."

    "Oh well.." I scratch my cheek. "How about about Sakuretsu Armor?"

    Syrus thinks for a moment. "Sakuretsu doesn't negate the attack though. My monster would still get destroyed."

    "What? No it doesn't!" I snap causing Syrus to flinch back. "Oh no! I'm sorry I didn't mean to raise my voice Sy."

    "It's ok." Syrus sighs. Great now I feel even worse.

    I am completely stunned by this revelation though. "But who told you Sakuretsu Armor doesn't stop the attack? It pretty much has the exact same wording as Mirror Force."

    "That's just what I was told by a judge before I came to Duel Academy." Syrus shrugs. "The card doesn't say it stops the attack, and there was no ruling he could find on the official website that said otherwise so the judge's ruling passed."

    "I lost the match because of that ruling." He adds with a sigh.

    Just how much has Syrus been held back by shitty rulings? "So everyone pretty much thinks Sakuretsu is trash because it doesn't say anything about actually negating the attack in its card text?"

    Syrus gives a small nod. "Pretty much."

    Well that certainly explains a lot. I remember when Sakuretsu came out in Dark Crisis there was some brief confusion over its effect, but it was ruled that it worked exactly like Mirror Force. Here it seems like no one but the higher ranked duelists really understand the underlaying game mechanics.

    Suddenly the idea of an entire school based around a trading card game doesn't sound as silly.

    I turn around and resume walking. "Sy, some time soon we're going to have to have a duel so I can teach you proper game mechanics."

    Syrus swallows nervously, and I laugh and place an arm around his shoulder as we continue walking together. "Don't worry little buddy. I'll be gentle."

    AN: I was hoping to have a bigger back log before starting this, but work all this month has been nuts and I haven't really had time to do much of anything. And the rest of the holiday season all through winter is looking to be similarly hectic. So I figured I'd drop what I have. New chapters will come..eventually.
  8. Akuma-Heika

    Akuma-Heika The Devil Exists Within

    Nov 7, 2016
    Likes Received:
    And now you are making me feel ancient. :p

    The first PC I had access to had an OS from the late 80s/early 90s.
    Ddmkm122 likes this.
  9. CmirDarthanna

    CmirDarthanna Experienced.

    Nov 25, 2018
    Likes Received:
    Gonna throw shade at Crowley till I drop.

    Crowley looks like an abortion of a misshapen turnip.

    He reminds of the month old gum that kids stick at the bottom of their desks.

    A catastrophic failure of a retarded clay sculpture made by a spastic drunk with no thumbs.

    He resembles the disappointment of an abused mother in human form.

    If I didn't know any better I'd thought he was half melted wax statue cursed with the burden of life.

    The way he dresses makes him look like a sentient snot covered napkin.

    His loose skin gives him the resemblance of an unfeathered pelican.

    His voice is so annoying that I'm surprised he's not getting any royalties from using it as pest control.
  10. Mizu

    Mizu Software Developer

    Aug 20, 2015
    Likes Received:
    So why did protag end up in Slifer when he scored really high on the paper exam, as well as beat Crowley in a duel? Jaden ended up there because he's not the best scholastically, iirc.
  11. PrinceJonathan

    PrinceJonathan Versed in the lewd.

    Dec 2, 2016
    Likes Received:
    Pick One.
    1. Crowler using his influence to manipulate the test results.
    2. The SI's dueling was really poor. Basically just defense, defense, defense and then he only won by lucksacking Zaborg.
    3. The SI's bad manners and vulgar mouth.
    4. The author didn't want to stick the SI into Ra Yellow because the only character he'd interact with would be Bastion and he didn't want to make up a bunch of OCs just to give the SI someone else to talk to. Also I have plans for Syrus and that means the SI needs to be in Slifer Red in order to carry them out.

    Get Syrus to drop the terrible Roid monsters and replace them with Gadgets and 1-for-1 spot removal. He can keep Steamroid, Drillroid, and Gyroid if he really wants. Submarineroid's not bad either.
    Asdercol, Lemonhead, St3f and 8 others like this.
  12. MasterMarx

    MasterMarx The Most Ridiculous Boss

    Sep 20, 2016
    Likes Received:
    Huh. I like this. I like this a lot.

    I'm gonna stick around and see how this goes.
    Ddmkm122 likes this.
  13. heralding_bubble

    heralding_bubble Dog Pottery

    Sep 26, 2015
    Likes Received:
    I don't know anything about Yu-Gi-Oh but this seems interesting.
    Thanks for writing.
    Ddmkm122 likes this.
  14. 13ry4n

    13ry4n For Sanguinius and the Emperor!

    May 16, 2015
    Likes Received:
    So, if your story gets to season 2 and given how certain cards just sorta spawn into existence are you going to be using the mega-monarchs?
    SPMRHPHGSCTW and Ddmkm122 like this.
  15. PrinceJonathan

    PrinceJonathan Versed in the lewd.

    Dec 2, 2016
    Likes Received:
    The current plan for season 2 is to upgrade to Perfect Circle Monarchs when Destiny Heroes come out. Aster Phoenix is going to hate the SI so much.

    Mega Monarchs won't see play until season 3 when the school gets sucked into the Spirit World/Dark World/Shadow Realm, or whatever it was called, and the SI has the chance to meet Ehther and Erebus in person.

    That's all of course a really big if I make it that far.
  16. ryuan

    ryuan The guy who can't write smut for shit

    Feb 19, 2013
    Likes Received:
    Ah, the era of priority, poorly worded card effects and other legacy insanity.

    You will not ne missed.
  17. Anon-Echo98

    Anon-Echo98 Purveyor of tales and lewds

    May 5, 2018
    Likes Received:
    Umm.... Fontaine tho? Also, if we have Manga, there is a hottie teacher for Slifer red.

    I mean.... kinda means you ought to go to the academy to try and make up for your accidental mess-up -also y'know, get an education in the game that's basically the king of the world-

    Umu, Revolver would approve. So long as your LP doesn't hit 0, you're in the clear... unless the exam also grades you by your LP amount.

    Because a rose by any other name is still Jaden Flipping Yuki

    Aaaah, some things can't be escaped from, now can they...

    ....End of the world not enough of a reason?

    With those lyrics, you sure are.

    Chancellor, and Plenty of them, I imagine.

    *Kekking in modern deck design*

    Oh sure, like a modern player would let you get to an ace monster.

    What in the Zorc's ballsack is going on, A Jaden who made a good impression on Crowler?


    Mmmhmm, yeah, those'd do it.... though I'd almost argue that the point about defense walling is a bit subject to questioning considering Crowler whipped out his actual deck instead of one of the decks intended for the exam.

    I mean... there's Dimitri, Brier, Beauregard, and some of the folks who got named in Spirit Caller. And I'd say that there's plenty of character interaction to be done with them... but y'know, Crowler's a salty scrotum.
    SPMRHPHGSCTW, St3f, Ddmkm122 and 3 others like this.
  18. Project Eden

    Project Eden Enthusiastic Seeker of Culture

    Feb 17, 2017
    Likes Received:
    Do you take inspiration from GX Abridged series? Because holy shit those were good. Also, kudos for piling your deck with Cheese Cards. It doesn't matter much if the deck is eclectic mix of cards since cheese cards themselves are so powerful.

    While monsters may generally share a common theme, Traps and Spells don't need to follow the trend. How about spamming Magic Cylinder, Lightning Vortex, Torrential Tribute, and Soul Exchange? From my rough knowledge, cheese Monster cards are rather rare due to their popularity while Traps and Spells are more neglected. So fill up your deck with cheese Traps and Spells and crush your opponents. There are lots of traps and spells that destroy opponents monsters despite their high levels.

    Here is an excellent example of Cheese Deck.
    Ddmkm122 and MasterMarx like this.
  19. PrinceJonathan

    PrinceJonathan Versed in the lewd.

    Dec 2, 2016
    Likes Received:
    A little. Is the story set in the Abridged series? No, but if I think a joke is funny I'll probably reference it.
  20. MasterMarx

    MasterMarx The Most Ridiculous Boss

    Sep 20, 2016
    Likes Received:
    It's really too bad that the anime Vehicroids are so trash- they got up to some crazy shit in the manga. Of course, in the Manga, Chazz was a badass, the E-Heroes had some genuinely good cards, all the women were absolutely stacked, and the duels actually felt great to read.
    KenNM and Ddmkm122 like this.
  21. Toad

    Toad Know what you're doing yet?

    Mar 5, 2019
    Likes Received:
    Imagine singing a song on a helicopter that isn't fortunate son.
    Ddmkm122 and MasterMarx like this.
  22. PrinceJonathan

    PrinceJonathan Versed in the lewd.

    Dec 2, 2016
    Likes Received:
    He's going to an academy for a Children's Trading Card game, not Vietnam.
  23. 13ry4n

    13ry4n For Sanguinius and the Emperor!

    May 16, 2015
    Likes Received:
    Shit got pretty fucked up in the academy, though.
    Ddmkm122 and MasterMarx like this.
  24. MasterMarx

    MasterMarx The Most Ridiculous Boss

    Sep 20, 2016
    Likes Received:
    It's also just a really good song, to be fair...
    KenNM and Ddmkm122 like this.
  25. Anon-Echo98

    Anon-Echo98 Purveyor of tales and lewds

    May 5, 2018
    Likes Received:
    An academy that has an active volcano, confirmed ghosts -some of whom are of the soul-sucking evil sort- and rituals to summon said ghosts, a barely-guarded abandoned facility that had semi-satanic rituals going on in its basement, resulting in a bunch of people going away, not to mention the research facility funded by Kaiba's spite for Joey.

    So yeah, not Vietnam.... still not a walk in the park tho.
  26. LordMentat

    LordMentat I Push Button

    Feb 16, 2019
    Likes Received:
    Kinda hope this continues for awhile. Always nice to a YGO fic that does not devolve into MC/Reader ships, edge, or OP OCCards bs in the first 5 chapters.
    St3f, KenNM and Ddmkm122 like this.
  27. metordragon

    metordragon Getting sticky.

    Sep 15, 2019
    Likes Received:
    Still want to see a yugioh mc combination with a gamer system or some good set ones as I always think it would be best for card gains much less other mechanisms.

    Also thanks to arc v can totally include mc has to deal with the plot of every yugioh verse.

    Also makes me think how they could go about gaining power of each verse thanks to the objects of power or how others gain power or rule by being better.
    SPMRHPHGSCTW and Ddmkm122 like this.
  28. Shiro345

    Shiro345 Getting sticky.

    May 26, 2019
    Likes Received:
    just killed it with taking over the main characters spot good luck in the future author i wish you luck
    Ddmkm122 likes this.
  29. Threadmarks: chapter 7

    PrinceJonathan Versed in the lewd.

    Dec 2, 2016
    Likes Received:
    The King has Left the Building

    I look up at the entrance to the card shop located inside Duel Academy with my shoulders slumped dejectedly. "CLOSED!!?" I read the sign hanging in front of the heavy metal shutters out loud.

    Syrus hums thoughtfully. "I wonder why they aren't open yet?"

    I stick my hands in my pockets and kick at the ground. "Well that fucking sucks. Class starts tomorrow, so you'd think the first priority would be to get your decks tuned up. Oh well. Do you want to still look around?"

    "We really should be getting back. It's getting late." Syrus replies.

    "We still have a bit of time left before dinner." I check the time on my PDA. "And it'd be good to familiarize ourselves with the school grounds. We wouldn't want to be late to our first class because we got lost, right?"

    "I guess so." Syrus sighs with reluctant acceptance.

    "We really need to work on your confidence, buddy." I pat Syrus on the head causing him to pout adorably.

    As we wander the empty halls we take note of where all the class rooms and other facilities are. I can't help but start to wonder where everyone is. I know most of the students would be in the dorm rooms getting ready for the feast tonight, but you'd think there would be teachers or other faculty members getting the class rooms prepared. I don't even see a janitor.

    "It sure is quiet around here." Syrus mutters nervously as our footsteps echo through the empty hallway.

    "Yeah." I agree and come to a stop outside a large metal door with an electronic control panel on the side. "I wonder what's in here?"

    The door suddenly slides open with a hydraulic hiss and I see a brief flash of blue before I get knocked to the floor. "Oof!"

    "Watch it punk!" a gruff voice shouts.

    I look up and see a familiar person with a head of spiky black hair and an Obelisk Blue coat glare down at me. Two other Obelisk Blue NPCs I vaguely recognize stand behind him. One has blue hair that hangs down on the right side of his head. While the other dumber looking one has short spiky brown hair.

    With a grunt I stand up and dust myself off. "You're the one who crashed into me, you jerk!"

    "Hey, watch your mouth! That is Chazz Princeton you're talking to!" The blue haired student shouts in a nasally voice. He sounds like a typical rich snob and has some kind of accent. I think it's supposed to sound like a Southern United States accent, but what do I know?

    "What? You!" Chazz's eyes widen in recognition and he points a finger at me. "I know you. You're the Slifer Slacker that defeated Doctor Crowler!"

    "That's me." I grin. "And..Cheeze is it? Look there's only room for one Prince in this school, and that's me." I add while jabbing a thumb towards myself.

    "J-J-Jay, what do you think you're doing?" Syrus whimpers and starts backing away.

    "Don't worry, buddy. I got this." I whisper softly over my shoulder.

    "The name is Chazz to you!" Chazz says smugly and pokes me in the chest. "And I am the top dog here, Slacker."

    "A top dog is still just a dog." I retort and fold my arms across my chest. "And all I see before me is a mongrel. Have you even had your shots?"

    Chazz's face and eyes light up with fury. I think I made him mad. "That's it! We're settling this right now!" He swings his arm forward and activates his Duel Disk. I was half-worried he was about to throw a punch, but of course in this world everything is settled with a stupid card game.

    "That's enough!" a stern voice calls from the other side of the door.

    "What? Alexis?! Stay out of this!" Chazz turns around and barks. His two flunkies step aside to let the Beauty Queen of Obelisk Blue through the doorway.

    I can't help but stare in awe as I finally get to see Alexis Rhodes up close and in person. She's..she's..I knew she was way out of my league, but hot damn!

    Those long slender legs leading up to a tiny miniskirt like they're the stairway to Heaven, those gorgeously succulent mouth-watering breasts, her golden silky hair that flows down her back like a waterfall. Seriously that body does not belong on a minor!

    I can practically hear the FBI banging on my door right now.

    Alexis glares at Chazz with disapproval. "We don't have time for this, Chazz. We're going to be late for the Obelisk Blue welcoming dinner."

    Chazz grinds his teeth and clicks his tongue in annoyance. The blade of his Duel Disk retracts as it deactivates. He turns and points threateningly towards me. "Fine! We'll finish this later, Slifer Slime."

    "Anytime Cheese." I reply flatly. "If you're a good boy, I'll even bring the doggy biscuits."

    "The. Name. Is. CHAZZ! And I'll make you eat those biscuits, Slacker!" Chazz shouts back. "Topher, Conklin, we're leaving!" He barks and turns with a swirl of his coat.

    "Right boss." The two NPCs reply and fall into step behind Chazz.

    I stare dumbly and blink. Holy fuck! Those two have names?!

    We watch the three of them leave and Alexis sighs before turning to me. "You shouldn't egg him on like that."

    "I can handle mongrels like him." I shrug off her concerns.

    "Chazz isn't a mongrel." She shakes her head. "He's the youngest child of the Princeton family. They're very rich, very influential, and very very dangerous."

    "So he's a mongrel with a gold leash." I reply unconcerned. "I can take him."

    "We'll see." She smirks at my boasting. "I'm Alexis Rhodes by the way. Nice to meet you."

    For a moment my eyes drift up to her forehead. Shit, she's taller than I am. That's..I don't know how I feel about that. Not that I don't like tall girls, but it would make hugging and kissing her feel awkward. "Jaden..Jaden Yuki."

    "Huh? Never had a boy stare at the top of my head before." She folds her arms under her breasts causing them to puff upward. "Usually their eyes are locked on to someplace a bit lower."

    With a chuckle I roll my eyes away from the obvious bait. "Really? I can't imagine why."

    Her lips twitch in amusement. "Well Jaden, I hope to see you more around campus. Bye." She smiles and waves as she turns to leave.

    I force a smile and wave back as she walks down the hall. I figure there's no point in being overly friendly with her which is why I didn't bother with nicknames. Not like I have a snowballs chance in hell with her anyway. Probably best to just keep her at arms length.

    Also I'm a 34yr old insecure man-child on the inside who hides behind false bravado and pop culture references while she's a 15yr old blond bombshell who's already more mature than I will ever be. It would be weird, and creepy.

    I mean I had no problem lusting after her when she was a fictional character, but now that I can physically reach out and touch her...No. Just no. I don't want to go to jail. Plus if she ever found out how old I really am, and how much I've fapped to hentai of her, she'd probably be the first in line to kick my ass.

    "Oh man, I thought we were going to be goners for sure." I hear Syrus moan from behind me.

    "Come on." I stick my hands in my pockets and turn around. "Let's head back." I don't feel like looking around anymore anyway. I just want to go to bed. At least in my dreams I can be happy. Maybe with luck I'll never wake up.


    Back at the Slifer Red dorm Syrus and I sit down to dinner in the dining hall. I look down at the tray of food in front of me with a blank expression as the other Slifer students around us voice their disgust and distaste for the simple meal of fish and rice.

    As someone who once had to go six months with nothing but ramen noodles and bologna sandwiches to eat, fish and rice is practically a banquet! Although Banner could at least have boiled the rice in chicken broth or something. Anything to give it some kind of flavor.

    Oh well, I'm not going to complain about the food. My concern right now is just where the hell did all of these people come from?!!! I thought Jaden, Syrus, and Chumley were the only ones in Slifer Red, but the dorm here looks filled to capacity. What the actual fuck?

    "This is our fancy welcome dinner?"

    "Forget that! Check out our headmaster. It's a cat!"

    I look up and see Pharaoh stretch out and yawn on the front table. Yes the fat orange tabby cat is actually named Pharaoh. Go figure.

    Right on cue the Head of the Slifer Red Dorm steps through the curtains separating the dining room from the kitchen. He smiles, and the way his eyes are closed reminds me of Brock from Pokemon. It looks weird in person.

    "Hello children, I'm Professor Banner. Now before we eat, I'd like you each to tell us something about yourselves." He says with a friendly wave.

    "Like what professor?" one of the students asks.

    Banner adjusts his glasses as he thinks. "Well how about we start with your names. Likes. Dislikes. Anything at all."

    As the unimportant background characters start to introduce themselves one by one I take them time to think up something to say. I don't want to give away anything about me because I know he'll probably report it to his true boss, Kagemaru.

    I'm not sure what to make of Banner. He seemed like a nice guy who genuinely cares about his students on the show, but then again he was behind the experiments into Shadow Magic that caused a lot of students to vanish a couple years ago.

    Including Alexis's brother.

    Still not completely decided on whether I'm going to stay out of the Shadow Riders thing or not. If I end up being given a Key, I'm tempted to just hand the damned thing over. Although I suppose dueling Kagemaru would be a good test to see if I can truly fill Jaden's shoes.

    I mean if I can't even beat a shitty Sacred Beast deck then the world really is fucked.

    Syrus's chair is pushed back with a creaking sound as he stands up. "M-m-my name is Syrus Truesdale. I like Duel Monsters..and my friend Jay..A-and my dream is t-to someday be a strong duelist..like my Big Brother." He nervously stammers. I can even see his knees shaking.

    "That was very good, Sy." I whisper reassuringly and then stand up next. What do I say? Hmm? Ha! That will do. And breathe.

    "My name is Jaden Yuki. Things I like and things I hate... I don't feel like telling you that. My dreams for the future... never really thought about it. As for my hobbies... I have lots of hobbies."

    The room falls so silent as everyone stares at me with mixed expressions even the crickets have shut up. Some of the other Slifer students begin to whisper among themselves.

    "That's Jaden Yuki?"

    "Wait, he's the guy who beat Crowler?!"

    "What's he doing in Slifer Red?"

    Banner quietly looks on with that gentle smile of his. It's hard to tell what he's thinking since he never seems to open his eyes. "Very good." He says finally and sits down at the head table. "Now that we all know each other, let's eat!"


    "Thank you." I say happily and accept the cup of tea Syrus has prepared while I look over my deck which I have spread out on the desk. I'm debating whether to put Sakuretsu Armor back in over Compulsory Evacuation Device or not. I need to get some Dust Tornadoes in here too now that I think of it.

    "Hey Chumley, want some tea?" Syrus looks up at the top bunk where the big oaf has been laying all day. Come to think of it he didn't even bother coming down to dinner either. I thought he was the big eater of the group?

    "Did I say I was thirsty?" Chumley throws back rudely.

    "Jeez, rude much." I sip my tea. "Just leave him alone Sy and come here. I've got something for you."

    "Oh." He sets the tray of teacups on the kitchen counter. "What's that?"

    I hold out a card for him as he walks over. After he takes it in his hand I smile as his eyes bug out and he nearly drops it. "M-m-ma ma Mirror Force! You're just giving it to me?!"

    "Yeah." I reply nonchalantly. "You need it way more than I do." Mirror Force may be a staple, but I went without it for so long back when I used to play. I didn't even get one until the Marik deck dropped in 2010 and by then it was starting to be phased out of peoples decks anyway, so it doesn't bother me to lose it.

    "I can't accept this." He cries and tries to give the card back.

    "Don't worry about it." I wave his hand away. "If it makes you feel better, think of it as a sign of our friendship. If any attack comes your way I'll throw it right back."

    "A-alright..If you're sure." Syrus sighs and looks at the card with a soft smile.

    Suddenly my PDA starts ringing. Now who could be calling me at this hour? As if I don't already know. I made sure to push his buttons enough in the hopes of making this bit of canon at least happen on schedule.

    Flipping it open I see Chazz Princeton's face appear on the screen.

    {Hey Slifer Slacker. Don't think you're off the hook. Tonight at midnight, it's on. Oh and why don't we make it interesting? Whoever wins gets the other guy's best card.}

    And with that he hangs up without letting me get in a single word edge wise.

    "You aren't seriously thinking of dueling him, are you Jay?" Syrus asks with a concerned expression.

    "If that's Chazz you're dueling, you're asking for nothing but trouble." Chumley adds his two cents in.

    "Me, duel Chazz? HA!" I laugh and shake my head. "Sy, I can beat him without drawing a single card."

    "Really?!" Syrus gasps and stares at me with astonishment. "How?"

    I hear Chumley roll over clearly interested in the conversation. "Easy. Think of this as your first lesson, Syrus." I flick through my PDA's apps and type a quick text and attach the video of Chazz's challenge to it before sending it off...

    "See, when you give someone enough rope, they'll hang themselves."

    ...to Campus Security.

    "That mongrel knows dueling in the arena after hours is against the rules, and an illegal Ante Duel at that. If Crowler doesn't pull some bullshit to save his ass, then Chazz is looking at some serious punishment." I set the PDA down on the desk.

    "Wow!" Syrus looks at me with admiration in his eyes.

    "Speaking of Crowler.." I trail off. "I wouldn't put it past him to try something to get back at me for beating him. So can you do me a favor?"

    "Sure Jay, anything." Syrus says eagerly. "Just name it."

    "I need you to keep your eyes open for anything strange or unusual." I explain.

    "Like what?" Syrus asks looking confused.

    "Anything." I tick off a list of things on my fingers. "A door or window open when it shouldn't be. Something out of place like the furniture has been moved. Strange objects placed in our lockers."

    "You sound paranoid." Chumley chimes in from the top bunk.

    I look up and frown. "Chumley, you've been here for three years. You tell me Crowler isn't petty enough to pull something just because he lost a stupid card game."

    Chumley looks thoughtful. "He probably would. If not him, one of the other Obelisks will definitely be gunning for you. Chazz is the current favorite to replace Zane when he graduates at the end of the year."

    "That's why I need Syrus to help me keep an eye out for anything." I grin and give a thumbs up. "We Slifers need to stick together."

    "I'm with you, Jay!" Syrus pumps his fist energetically into the air.

    Chumley just grunts and rolls back over.

    Fine! Be that way you useless lump.


    Chazz taps his foot impatiently and checks his watch again. "12:07. Where does he get off calling me a mongrel when he can't even be bothered to show up on time?"

    "Think he'll even show up, Chazz?" Conklin asks in a dull voice.

    "Oh he'll show up. If he knows what's good for him." He smirks. "I'm going to love putting that worthless punk in his place."

    "I don't know." Topher looks around nervously. "I've got a bad feeling about this, Chazz. What if we get caught?" He asks trying to be the voice of reason.

    "It'll be fine." Chazz says unconcerned and checks his watch again. "We'll give the slacker another ten minutes."


    "I have to go to the bathroom." Conklin fidgets uncomfortably.



    "You know we have class in the morning, right Chazz?" Topher points out.

    "Will you be quiet!" Chazz hisses sharply. "I think I hear him coming."

    Topher and Conklin take their place behind Chazz as the door to the arena opens up and the lights turn on. Chazz flicks his hair and points dramatically towards the entryway. "Finally decided to show up, Slifer Slime? Well get ready to lose your best card because Chazz Princeton is going to mop the floor...with...you.."

    Chazz trails off and lowers his arm as he sees three Duel Academy security guards march into the arena instead of the Slifer Slacker he was expecting. Topher and Conklin's jaws both drop in panic, and a bead of sweat rolls down Chazz's brow as he grinds his teeth in anger.

    The middle guard steps forward and speaks in a commanding tone. "Chazz Princeton. You are to come with us to Chancellor Sheppard's office."

    Chazz begins to tremble with impotent rage. 'I'll get you for this humiliation Jaden Yuki!' He silently vows his revenge.

    AN: New chapter, Huzzah! Enjoy!
  30. Xamusel

    Xamusel Currently a Gamma-11 on FFN

    Oct 1, 2015
    Likes Received:
    Okay, this was a worthy chapter... and it's even funnier for me, since I didn't really see all of the Yu-Gi-Oh series from start to finish. Thanks for the update. :)
    Cryptic, Lithium, Ddmkm122 and 2 others like this.