1. For prospective new members, a word of warning: don't use common names like Dennis, Simon, or Kenny if you decide to create an account. Spammers have used them all before you and gotten those names flagged in the anti-spam databases. Your account registration will be rejected because of it.
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Since it has happened MULTIPLE times now, I want to be very clear about this. You do not get to abandon an account and create a new one. You do not get to pass an account to someone else and create a new one. If you do so anyway, you will be banned for creating sockpuppets.
    Dismiss Notice
  3. For a trial period of one week, allowed avatar size has been increased to 256kb, up from 51.2kb. During this time, if the forum seems to be loading slow, drop by the topic in the Announcements & Rules sub to let me know.
    Dismiss Notice
  4. QQ will be down for upgrades starting at 2030 EDT. Please be prepared and save any work.
    Dismiss Notice
  5. If you wish to change your username, please ask via conversation to tehelgee instead of asking via my profile. I'd like to not clutter it up with such requests.
    Dismiss Notice
  6. To the many new members following Mr Zoat to our forum, I would suggest a quick read of our Rules. Don't worry, it's not a long post. Pay special attention to Rule 8. We are deadly serious about it.
    Dismiss Notice
  7. Due to the actions of particularly persistent spammers and trolls, we will be banning disposable email addresses from today onward.
    Dismiss Notice
  8. To make things official, I have added a proper description of the method to appeal a moderator action in the Rules thread.
    Dismiss Notice

The Red Eyed Queen

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by siddharth1998m, Apr 15, 2019.

Loading...
  1. siddharth1998m

    siddharth1998m Getting out there.

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2019
    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    34
    Author Note: This Fic was inspired by Writer with bad Grammar T-T – “Crimson Dragon Emperor and Crimson Eyed Knight”. This story is a SI-OC but she doesn't know the plot after the first arc with Raynare so she doesn't know the full story of Highschool DxD.
    This story borrows elements from Naruto and Bleach.
    From Naruto: - Sharingan, Eternal Mangekyō Sharingan as well as its abilities which will be reveled in the later chapters (My OC is a Sharingan user); and Chakra also work similarly in this story as it did in Naruto so all chakra user of Highschool DxD can use jutsus from Naruto.
    From Bleach: -Angels as well as Exorcists use Quincy abilities while fallen Angels can use Kido. Now this doesn't mean Angels and Fallen Angels can’t use spears of light they can still use it how this work will be explained in the later chapters.
    The is a Femslash fanfic the OC will also not have Harem she will pick a partner and stick with her. Issei on the other hand will have a haram.
    Also if it has grammar mistakes please forgive me as English is not my first language
    I Don’t Own Naruto, Bleach or Highschool DxD
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Prologue
    ? POV
    Another normal day at school, it's been 17 years since I was born in this world
    You must be confused about what I mean by this world aren't you? Well to tell you the truth I’m not who I am
    Anyways, my name is Akane, but my name from before was Lisa, Lisa Miles. You see I'm not originally from this world. I was doctor before; well you could say new Doctor. I just graduated from a Medical Student 1 year prior, and I'd like to tell you all about my previous life, but that's another story. I will tell you all what happen to me before I born as Akane
    One day I was about to go home from hospital, as new doctor I still worked as a secretary under a senior doctor, at that time. When I was about to cross the road my phone started ringing. I notice the traffic lamp was still red so I decide to answer. It was call from my mother; she was saying she had some problems with my father, who was drinking somewhere. So she asked me to pick him up, since the bar my father liked, is near my work place.
    While I was talking to her I noticed the traffic light become green so I decide to walk while talking on the phone, however what I didn't notice, was that some truck was moving so fast.
    It seems like the driver in hurry so he/she decide to run through, and ignore the traffic lights.
    That's when everything goes to hell.
    At last moment I manage to look at the truck since I hear someone screaming, the last I see was the lights from the truck before it hit me. At the time I feel like I'm flying, and suddenly, BAM! I feel like my backs being crushed by a mountain. I can feel everything slipping; going black. I also notice one other thing…I was going to die.
    With this realization I recall my life. I was able to remember when I graduated from high school with my friends, I remember when I played with some cadaver, when I was still in college, I remember when I laughed, when I was sad, when I fought my parents for my girlfriend, who in the end cheated on me.
    And I realized one thing...
    My life is Seriously Boring.
    I study for 12 years in school from elementary to high school, without anything interesting happening, then I spend 7 years to become doctor, not to mention I was nerd. While I thinking about this I can hear several people screaming, and my body being lifted but it useless, I can feel life start to fade from my body, I can't even open my eyes. I must have hit my head hard for me to rupture my optic nerve; I mutter one thing before I succumb to the darkness
    "I wish the next world is not boring like this one was."
    With that my body went limp.
    First thing I noticed when I died was; It's dark, very dark, it's also frightening, I feel fear start to crawl down my spine, I move, or I try to move, but somehow my body seems to have a hard time to moving!
    Then suddenly I feel something pushing me from behind! I was about to turn and see what push me but I can't! I can't see anything! It is to dark!
    The darkness does not stay for long...
    I suddenly see light. Yes, a light! I can feel my body being pushed to that light! I didn't think anything about that at the time; I was just thinking to get out from this darkness!
    To that light!
    With that I try to move to the light, being helped by something that pushed me on, more precisely I helped pushing me, when I reached the light, suddenly the entire world was a blur to me. It wasn't quite color blindness, but the easiest thing to see was the stark contrast between light and dark.
    I could see shapes and edges but the world looked incredibly confusing. Now this isn't what I expected. I was thinking, trying to see where I was, but something blurry like this?! No, not something expected at all!
    I was about to speak, but I found no words, rather it's more like Babbling? I then yelled, shouted, roared, but my voice it seemed to stay away! I can felt something wetting my face. I tried to touch my face, but I found I can't move my hands or legs! I can feel I was being lifted and carried.
    Now I know I'm not that tall or heavy but…This is ridiculous! I can fell I am being held in the crook of someone's arm! What is carrying me, a Giant; a Monster?!
    Once again fear started to crawl through my body. Naturally I was not the type of person who was easy get afraid of something. I mean I have seen cadavers that only have half a face, cadavers who got it guts spilled, locked alone with a dozen corpses, seeing a gruesome wound from patients, but I don't know why I am afraid now.
    Seeing talking and shouting were useless. I did the only thing I could have. I screamed. I wailed. I cried
    **********************************
    17 years later
    "Issei" A sweet voice called within a bedroom. "Issei It is time to get up now" The voice was that of a young woman, directing it towards the lone bed in the room. "Damn it Issei!! Wake up or we are going to be late for the school”
    Though the young women called, he still in the bed didn't respond to her besides saying "Oppai hehehehe~" in a perverted manner, squeezing his hands across the pillow as his drool came out over said pillow, coating it in his saliva.
    The young man in question was around 17 years old boy of average height, at around 5ft 7inches tall, with short spiky brown hair, with two short locks of hair behind his head, and light brown eyes. He was average build and seemed to be fit for a young man his age.
    This young man was Issei Hyoudou, the younger Twin brother of the young women who was trying to wake him up.
    The young women who was trying to wake her brother was Akane Hyoudou. She was 4 minutes Older than her brother thus being twin siblings they both shared similar features aside from her spikey long black waist-length hair with shoulder-length bangs framing the sides of her face, covering most of her right eye, she also had onyx colored eyes unlike her brother’s light brown eyes. She was wearing a new Kuoh girls uniform that hid her impressive figure.
    “Issei” Akane whispered into her brother’s ears with a dangerously sweet voice. “Wake up or else I will burn all of your porn collection” she threatened her elder brother.
    “Nooooo” The reaction to the threat was instant as Issei screaming. “Well if you don’t want me burn all of them. Then I suggest you go get ready I don’t want to be late at my first day at school because of you” And with that Akane left her brothers room to join her parents for breakfast.
    “Man she hasn't changed one bit” Issei grumbled getting up from his bed rubbing his eyes still sleepy
    “So Akane are you exited for your first day at Kuoh?” Her father asks her while eating his breakfast and reading his newspaper
    “Yeah I guess it would be a new experience for me” Akane tells her father while eating her breakfast
    “Morning Mom Dad” Issei greeted his parent as he joins them for breakfast dressed in his school uniform before he started eating his breakfast in silence which irked Akane a little bit she just got back home yesterday and such was just itching to bully her little brother just a little bit.
    “So Issei did you find yourself a real girlfriend while I was gone or you are still dating your right hand?” Akane asked ribbing her brother. Upon hearing her question both Issei and her Father spewed out what they were chewing while her mother gave her the look she used to give when she used to annoy her brother when they were little.
    “What!!!! Yes, I mean no I have girlfriend now one with a big Oppai” Issei blurted out clearly being caught off-guard by her question. “Sure you do” Akane mocks him Clearly seeing through his white lie
    “Anyways Akane I am surprised that you still wanted to finish your High school in Japan after 6 years of studying in the Boarding School in Italy with Irina” Her Mother asks her deciding to come to her son’s rescue and changes the subject.
    “Well I always wanted to finish my High school with Issei Mom plus Irina was also leaving to start her training as a Priest so it left very little reason for me stay there” Akane answered her mother
    “Well it’s great that you are back home” Issei tells her twin sister with a bright smile “that reminds me which class did She get mom” Issei asks his mother
    “Ohh she is in the same class as you Issei” their mother tells him. “Well then you better follow me Akane” Issei tells his twin sister who nods in response
    They finish their breakfast before leaving for school.
    “This feels kind of nostalgic isn't it” Issei asked his sister as they headed towards the school “You know us going to school together when we were little” He continued
    “Together Dear Brother I distinctly remember it was only me going to school while you had to be dragged there either by Grandpa or Grandma” Akane teased her brother while giggling at the memory
    “I was a kid at that time you know and do you really have bring that memory up again Mom and Dad had finally stopped teasing me about It” Issei moaned about the fact in embarrassment
    “Hey it was you reminiscing about our childhood it just corrected your inconstancy about that time” Akane replied before flicking Issei in the head. “So how is Grandma I heard she went back to Kyoto?” She asked silently as they walked towards the school.
    “Hmm she is fine I guess she visits us once or twice a year and still hadn't changed that much” Issei replied wryly getting a laugh from his sister
    “Did she not call you when you were in Italy as I remember Mom did give her a cellphone as gift on her birthday?” Issei asked
    “and how many times did she call you using that cellphone?” Akane asked back “You know she does not like talking to people on phone and prefers face to face meeting” she continued
    “A person’s mouth can lie but their eyes will always tell the truth” Issei quoted what her grandmother always said to them regarding to talking to someone on phone.
    “So you were paying attention during our lessons” Akane praised Issei a little who just turned his head away from her so she can’t see that he was blushing
    “Anyways how about we do some sparring after the just like the old days” Akane asked
    “I don’t know Akane there is a very good chance that I will hanging out with my friends after school” Issei replied a little apologetically “plus you do remember that Mom rented our grandparents shrine to someone else right?” he continued not realizing that they had reached their destination and were greeted with a shocked expression of the students.
    When they entered the school Campus it caused quite a chaos that one of the perverted trio had a hot chick with him, Akane was rather amused by their reaction
    “Issei!!! Who is the hot chick you”? A bald guy shouts at Issei Clearly angry thinking Issei got a girlfriend before them
    “B34-W23-H89 Damn Issei” A guy tells Issei while Adjusting his glasses
    “Wow that’s actually accurate” Akane tells the guy impressed by his correct observations “Wait seriously” Issei turned towards her with a perverted expression amazed about the reveal “Wait a second…” before he came back to his senses and punches both of them in their faces “That’s my Twin sister you dumb morons”
    “Issei why don’t you introduce your friend to me” Akane asked her brother looking clearly amused by their interaction
    “Yeah sure the bald guy there is Matsuda and the guy with glasses is Motohama, Guys this my Twin sister Akane” Issei Introduces them to each other
    “Ohhh yeah now that I remember you did tell us about your sister once but wasn't she studying abroad?” Motohama asked while adjusting his glasses.
    “Yeah she was studying in Italy but now had transferred back to Kuoh and will be starting her classes today” Issei answered
    “Anyways I will join you two later after I had introduced Akane to our homeroom Teacher” And with that Issei guides her towards their classroom, Issei Introduces her to their Homeroom teacher who told her to wait outside the class and wait for him to call her in so she can introduce herself to the class.
    “All right class we have a new transfer student joining us from Italy. Ms. Hyoudou Please come in” the Homeroom teacher asks Akane to Introduce herself
    Akane enters the class where both the guys and the girls were looking at her with interest as she writes her name in the blackboard “My Name Is Akane Hyoudou I am pleased to meet you all and I look forward to study with you all” Most of the students in the class were surprised that the new girl might be related to One of the perverted trio and were itching to ask her about their relationship which the homeroom teacher picked up.
    “Okay does anybody wants to ask Ms. Akane a question they can ask her before we start the class” the Homeroom teacher tells his class
    “Akane-san are you by means related to Hyoudou-kun over their” the girls introduce herself as Aika Kiryuu asks her
    “Issei is my younger Twin brother Kiryuu-san he is 4 minutes younger than me” Akane answer her question which shocks all the students before their teacher interrupts them and show Akane where she needs to sit and Starts the class.
    ********************
    “So Sona were you able to do a thorough background check on Akane Hyoudou?” A young woman with long knee length crimson hair with an extra pluck sticking out on top, blue eyes with a taint of green, she was tall and had a busty hourglass figure asked out loud while sitting naked in a steam room with a beautiful young woman with a voluptuous figure, very long black hair and violet eyes. Her hair was usually tied in a long ponytail, reaching all the way down to her legs with two strands sticking out from the top and sloping backward, with an orange ribbon keeping it in place.
    This young woman with crimson hair was Rias Gremory who was a 3rd year student at Kuoh Academy and is the Academy's number one idol. She is also known as one of the "Two Great Ladies" and sitting beside her was Akeno Himejima who ranks second in popularity after Rias, and was the other "Two Great Ladies of Kuoh Academy", they were both president and vice-president of the Occult research club of Kuoh Highschool.
    “I have but none of the information is concrete” a young bespectacled woman with a slim figure, black hair styled in a short bob cut and violet eyes answered while sitting in front of Rias in the steam room sitting with her was a young bespectacled woman with long straight black hair that extends all the way down to her knees, with split bangs and heterochromic eyes, with a violet left eye and a light brown right eye.
    This young woman with slim figure was Sona Sitri and the women who was sitting with her was Tsubaki Shinra they were both president and vice president of the Kuoh Academy’s student council.
    “The only solid information I have on her out of the ordinary is that she moved to Italy with the family of exorcists that lived here before the church surrendered this area to your brother. The school she was in is well known place were the church trains their most gifted students to become exorcists” Sona tells Rias in a serious tone.
    Few days ago Sona received information from their principle that a transfer student will be joining their second year batch from Italy It was kind of normal for their school to have few transfer students coming in from abroad. But this was a special case as the girl was Issei Hyoudou’s twin, both Sona and Rias had sensed there was some potential in the boy and wanted him to join their Peerage but they were not able to decide who will get him so Sona was surprised and was curious about the girl and started going through her profile. The information she found on Akane Hyoudou were vague but what she found was concerning enough that she had to contact Rias.
    “An Exorcist? Sona are you sure?” Rias asked her
    “Like I said no information about her is concrete aside from the information I just gave you Rias.” Sona tells her
    “Well she did notice us as well as all of our peerage members the moment she entered school this morning” Akeno tells them as Rias had asked her keep an eye on her “She knew we were keeping an eye her and didn’t seemed that concerned about that” Akeno later added
    “the fact that she has moved back to Japan is also weird” Tsubaki adds
    “Yes Exorcists especially the young one generally don’t leave their academy. Hmmm maybe she is a rouge” Akeno thought out loud
    “Highly unlikely She had submitted legitimate Transfer papers when she took admission here and believe me I have checked them thoroughly” Sona tells Akeno
    “Rias I think we should invite Akane in the clubhouse and ask her directly she is in a devil’s territory after all” Akeno gave her thought on the situation to Rias who took some time think it through “You know what it’s not a bad idea, why don’t you invite Akane to the clubhouse tomorrow but until then I want all familiars to follow her” Rias gave Akeno her orders who nods in response
    “Sona, Tsubaki you two should also join us tomorrow” Rias tells them
    “Why Rias are you thinking about asking her join your peerage” Sona asks slyly already knowing Rias answer.
    “Well she did show more potential than her brother and she does know about us so it’s a win-win situation for both of us, if she decides to join my Peerage you can take Issei Sona” Rias tells Sona
    “And if she doesn’t join your peerage” Sona asks her
    “then we will be back to where we were” Rias replies
    ***************************
    “YOU WHAT” Mr. and Mrs. Hyoudou shouted in disbelief while Akane was eating dinner quietly
    “I have a girlfriend now” Issei said proudly before looking at Akane “what no reactions”
    “I thought you had a girlfriend for a while weren’t you telling me about her during the breakfast today? Or was I right all along” Akane asks slyly smiling at Issei reaction who looked like a deer caught in the headlight
    “O-O Of course I was talking about her we have dating for a while now hehehe” Issei answered her
    “What’s her name anyway” Their mother asks him
    “Yuuma Amano” Issei tells them the name of his girlfriend. That name immediately caught Akane attention “So it begins huh” She whispers to herself deep in thought
    "Hey Akane what's wrong? You seem pale? Are you sick” Issei asks her
    “Well joking aside… Issei seriously, some girl asking to go out with you? Brother I admit you aren't ugly because saying your ugly is the same as saying I am ugly too. From what Mom told me your reputation in the school is not great because you are a pervert, and now out of nowhere this girl comes and asks you on date? Don't you find it strange, have you asked her why she wanted to go out with you?" Akane asked him while both of their parents were looking at Issei with a little worry
    "Hey! Don't you believe in my natural charm?!" Issei said in hurt tone for which he only got a deadpanned look from his family
    “Do you want me to say it out loud” Akane deadpanned
    "But what Akane said is true Issei. You have to be careful okay?" Mother said with a worried tone and Issei nodded.
    "Don't worry! I will introduce her to you tomorrow Akane! Our date is this Sunday; I mean 3 days from now! You have to see her Mom, Dad, Akane, she a beauty, with big Oppai!" Issei said with perverted face that makes Akane roll her eyes “Of course she is a beauty, she is a Fallen Angel after all” she mutters under her breath.
    ***************
     
    Kyryst likes this.
  2. Threadmarks: Chapter-2
    siddharth1998m

    siddharth1998m Getting out there.

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2019
    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    34
    Chapter-2

    Hyoudou Residence
    It was half past midnight every member of the Hyoudou family were asleep by now everyone except for Akane who was still awake sitting in her bed as she couldn't sleep, her brother's Girlfriend or to be precise the Fallen angel Raynare was on her mind and was making her a little skittish. Though it was not Raynare that was making her skittish as she knew her brother will eventually beat her and if not She herself can deal with her personally she was but a minor annoyance.
    No It was the aftermath that she was worried about as she didn't actually know what was in store for her Dear Brother in the future as she never watched an Episode past the first Arc. Which on hind side she was really regretting that decision "Who knew not watching the entire season of an Anime which was an equivalent to a softcore Pornography with great premise might come to bite back to bite me in my arse" Akane thought bitterly
    Thought one thing Akane was sure about that her brother would not have a normal life of a teenager after that as threat escalation is kind of a normal motif for plot of an Anime, especially this world of Anime where all the mythologies that are known to man are real and she had gotten the first-hand experience of how annoyingly complicated things can get quickly in her travels.
    "I might as well get some training done" Akane muttered as she gets out of her bed and get changed into her normal training clothes a haori and hakama not the best choice for clothing during combat as it slowed down movement but they served as a perfect training garments after you put some weights in them.
    After getting dressed as well as picking up her Battle Deck she left the house through her bedroom window and left for her Grandparents shrine that was situated at the top of in the hilly mountain areas of Kuoh.

    1 A.M After Midnight
    A Bright glowing crimson seal appeared out of nowhere and from it a lone figure came out
    "Ara ara Today sure was interesting" Akeno said to herself just returning home after completing all the contracts she had left pending something that Rias has been bugging her for about a few days now. The only thing that was left for her to do was to check up on her familiars who had been tasked to follow Akane Hyoudou.
    "I Summon Thee Mezu" Akeno summoned her familiars who answered her call immediately as 4 summon seals appeared in front of her four chibi Oni came out which made Akeno frown as one of them did not answer to her call.
    "Mezu where is your younger brother" Akeno asked the Oni who was slightly taller than the three behind him who looked behind at his sibling as if looking for his sibling before turning while rubbing his head as if he was confused himself
    Akeno sighed "Don't bother I will go find him he might have fallen asleep somewhere like the last time as he has not yet returned to summon realm" Akeno said as the rest of the Oni were handing her the Memory tear while the elder Oni bowed before Akeno trying to apologize for his younger brother's mistake which made Akeno laugh softly "It's not a big deal Mezu great job regardless come back to me on Sunday I will have some snacks ready for all of you" she later added which made all of them jump up and down joy before they went back to the summon realm.
    "Now then where are you?" Akeno said to herself as a small orb appeared in her hand which was making a beeping sound telling her how far the her familiar is.
    "Well that's strange he is quite close" Akeno said checking the distance between her and the familiar who was close too close as the map showed the signal was coming from the Lake that was walking distance away from the house.
    After confirming that the signal was correct Akeno left through the backyard door of her house and with the map that tracked her familiar every movement and started to follow the route map showed her towards the signal on foot.
    She was enjoying her walk through the wood in the middle of the night, she normally takes a strolls in the wood like this quite often mostly after she had returned home after finishing that day work but the last few weeks have kept her busy. The sound of crickets and occasional hoot of the owls always calmed her down when she was stressed as it reminded her of her childhood home and how she and her mother would also take strolls together. This was one of the reasons why she choose to live there and not stay with Rias.
    As Akeno got close the location of the signal the sound of swords clashing can be heard coming from the lake and the sound was loud enough to draw her attention. She was pretty sure that her Familiar was not in danger because if that would have been the case he would have activated his Panic button and she and the rest of her peerage would have been alerted immediately. She decided it was best to call some backup and check what was the source of the sound and summoned a Gremory seal called for Rias to come immediately.
    After a few minutes someone did appear in the seal a petite girl with white hair and hazel eyes appeared. The front of her hair has two long bangs going past her shoulders and several loose bangs hanging over her forehead, while the back has a short bob cut. She also wearing a black cat-shaped hair clip on both sides of her hair. She usually wears the Kuoh Academy girls' school uniform, without the shoulder cape but at this moment she was in her PJs.
    "Koneko? Why are you here I called for Rias?" Akeno asked the petite girl who looked like she was still a little asleep
    "Her Parents called her back home for the night" Koneko answered in her usual monotone voice "Why have you called me here Akeno?" Koneko asked after looking around her surroundings Akeno can this time clearly hear the tone of complaint coming from her voice which made Akeno giggle a little
    "For someone who has been a devil as long as I have you still have not gotten used to our sleep schedule Koneko" Akeno tells while her fingers tries to scratch Koneko Cat ears for a purr but only getting a hiss from the annoyed Nekoshou
    Thought the girls where interrupted when they heard some trees falling near the lake "Was that the reason you called?" Koneko asked slapping away Akeno hand
    "Yeah one of my familiars is missing and the signal is coming from the lake. No Panic button has been pressed and he also have not returned to the summon realm" Akeno Quickly informed Koneko about the situation
    "Have you checked the Memory tears?" Koneko asked as she took out her Black fighter gloves with a pink cat paw on the top.
    "My familiars were tasked with following Akane Hyoudou around it will take me a while to go through all of them" Akeno answered "Do you think the individuals at the lake would are hostile" Akeno asked as she saw Koneko put on her Fighter gloves with a frown as when it comes to predicting the outcome of any situation after a quick rundown no one could beat Koneko at that as her instincts were so finely tuned. This was also one of the reasons why Rias stopped bothering her to play chess with her as none of the matches ended with a clear victor as most matches either it ended on a draw or Koneko would draw out the match and annoy Rias to the point that she just forfeits.
    "If the individuals are supernatural then are trespassing on Area that belongs to the Gremory and we have a right to ask question" Koneko replied not clearly answering her question though her voice answered Akeno questions as this voice only used when they are hunting Strays.
    "Be on your guard" Koneko warned Akeno who nodded as they slowly moved toward the area following the blinking signal.
    After walking for a few minutes they came across a few fallen trees that they heard fall before after that the whole area has gone eerie quiet, it looked like whoever was there at the pond is either gone or was now hiding purposefully thought on the other hand her familiars signal has not moved and they were close
    "What do you think Koneko?" Akeno asked her about the fallen trees
    Koneko didn't answer just crouched to check the area of the impact from where the tree broke "Weird"
    "Hmmm?" Akeno questioned
    "Someone was thrown in to this which broke on Impact but the tree did not fall because of the impact like it should have. Look at it yourself" Koneko replied to Akeno who crouched down to check what she was trying to say
    "The force of Impact was enough that person would have gone through the tree causing it to fall the initial impact can be clearly seen in the bark but the tree actually fell because of the its weight. It's like the person thrown disappeared during the impact" Koneko continued
    "Let's move we are close to my familiar" Akeno said getting up while Koneko nodded and they moved towards the signal




    Within a few minute they reached the location Akeno could see the lake now it was looking beautiful under the bright moonlight It was still a little eerie because of the silence.
    "Koneko can you see Mezu somewhere?" Akeno asked looking at the map it should have been beeping as they have reached their destination "Koneko?" she asked again but not getting a reply from her
    "Koneko?" She looked to check on her but she was not there she quickly checked the perimeter to look for her but she was not there
    "What the!.." Akeno noticed she was being consumed by the sand when she tried to use her hand to summon her magic it got constricted by some vine which were pulling her pulling her towards something she quickly checked the source of the vine and found she was being pulled into a tree "Fuck!" She closed her eyes tried to concentrate in order to summon her lighting but failed to do so. Though she felt someone shaking her "Akeno Wake up" She heard Koneko voice calling her
    When Akeno opened her eyes she noticed everything was back to normal Vines from the tree as well as the sand where all gone. The sound of Owls hooting and crickets chirping also returned.
    "What Happened?" Akeno asked out loud felling a little rattled
    "We were under a Genjutsu" She heard Koneko answer from behind. She looked behind to check up on her and noticed She had her hand placed on her back "I had to give you some of my Chakra to break you out of it" Koneko added
    They were interrupted by the beeping sound form Akeno's map notifying them that they had reached their destination
    "Are you okay?" Koneko asked looking a little concerned
    Akeno takes a deep breath before replying to her "I am Fine now. Let go and get Mezu"
    "I can help you with that" A Mysterious voice interrupts them alerting both of them as get ready for a potential fight before checking its source
    "Akane Hyoudou" Akeno said her name out loud recognizing the young women who was sitting on tree branch dressed in a haori and hakama
    "Are you looking for this little guy?" Akane took the Unconscious Oni out and was holding by its tail "I found this little Guy out of my house spying on me. You don't happen to know anything about that Right?" Akane asked them Knowingly Only getting a glare form the two of them which she found amusing
    "Was it you who casted the Genjutsu?" Koneko asked trying to gauge the threat
    "OHH Did you encounter the haunted trees that reside in the mountain areas of Kuoh I heard they like to consume young humans in order to create new trees just like them" Akane replied with a deliberate condescending tone just to annoy them even further but after getting no reaction other than a glare out of them She decided to quit screwing around and jumps down from the tree branch she was sitting on. This made both girls take a step back take a battle pose ready to fight back if Akane attacked them.
    "Here take him" Akane offered them to take back the Oni but none of them came forward to take him instead staying where they are "Come on, I don't have all night to waste here I need to go home take a bath and get some sleep" She tells them who share a look then a nod and Akeno slowly moves towards her to take back her familiar from her hands who give the Oni back without any problem.
    "Now then It was wonderful meet you two on this lovely night but its time I go back home" Akane tells then as she leaves "WAIT!" Akeno stops her from leaving
    "I have a message for you from my Master Rias Gremory" Akeno tells her as she put her familiar in her skirt's pocket he looked fine and was in a deep sleep.
    "Go on" Akane asks her to continue curious about the message
    "My Master has invited you join us in our Clubhouse tomorrow after our classes are done. We know you were involved with Exorcist before you came back and as the Devil whose area you are in she wants to know your intentions. We will send you someone to your class who will Escort you to the Clubhouse" Akeno Tells her the full message as well as strongly suggesting that the choice of not going to clubhouse is invalid and she has to come meet Rias
    "Is there anything else" Akane asked
    "No that was all" Akeno answered get out of Akane way
    And with single hand-sign which alerted the Akeno and Koneko again, Akane Leaves surrounded by a whirlwind of leaves and wind leaving the two of them behind.
    "She is chakra user and a skilled one as well" Koneko tells her being reminded of her sister who could also do those techniques.
    "Should we have asked her some more questions like who was she fighting with back there we did hear swords clashing right" Akeno asked her
    "She must have been using the Shadow clone Jutsu its functions kind fits perfectly to tree that we encountered earlier as shadow clones tend dispel we they get hit with a solid attack" Koneko explains
    "Also you are coming with me to stay at Rias place. There is a less risk of a potential attack there" Koneko tells Akeno who nods getting with reasoning behind her decision and they leave with summon seal.



    Author Note: The words that are in Bold Italic are some powers up or accessories whose function will be explained in the later chapters. Some of them are pretty self-explanatory others have some functions which will be explained later
    If You are like how this fic is going or have some question regarding the it, please leave its in the thread I will answer it when i see them I am kind of new to this site so I am Apologizing in advance for any mistake i make. this fic is also posted in Fanfiction.net under same title
     
    Kyryst and Fitoor like this.
  3. Fitoor

    Fitoor Making the rounds.

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2019
    Messages:
    25
    Likes Received:
    90
    Interesting. Seems a little too convenient that Akane studied abroad just so that we could keep the canon on rails.
    I'm looking forward to see the chakra angle like whether Senjutsu follow the DxD or Naruto rules and who all can use chakra.

    Also, it's my personal opinion, but I don't like reading past life, dying and getting born scenes. They are way too common and generally not relevant.
    Same for your character intros. There's no need to describe what Rias or Sona look like, or their reputations. Maybe talk about those familiars instead.
     
  4. siddharth1998m

    siddharth1998m Getting out there.

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2019
    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    34
    The reason for her being away from Kuoh will be explored later down the line. SI-OC stuff i can understand as not many people can write great story using that though one of my favorite stories ever written in Fiction and fanfic had been sort of Self insert
    Fiction: Dante's Inferno, purgatorio and Paradiso (I will be using factors and principal introduced in this Book in my fic),
    Fan-fiction; Walk on the moon by Six perfection (If you haven't read it Read it! Its amazing)
    But i won't be using the past life subplot as there is nothing to it other she knows the initial beginning of the story
     
  5. mapu

    mapu Getting sticky.

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2017
    Messages:
    81
    Likes Received:
    204
    Impressively bad idea, characterization and grammar. Please use dots. Lear how character power curves work, or at least how to to curb stomp comedy. Also how to establish a scene, and not jump around in time. This Is multi-cross marry sue, not an OC. Also you are using synonyms or repeating same word to describe things, that should be actually described in more than one word. You know like description? Describe the sound, smell, tactile feeling, color, emotions it invokes, closest comparisons? Not just "It was dark in dark place" or "I shouted a roar" or whatever. Also describe the facial expressions, or actions(crying, smashing fist on table and so on) not emotions, if you have to convey them. Also the emotion of the direct speech should be obvious by the context clues.
     
    siddharth1998m likes this.
  6. siddharth1998m

    siddharth1998m Getting out there.

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2019
    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    34
    Blunt Critique I like it
    Again i am not a English speaker and not a writer with this being my first story so i know there are problem with the Grammer and Dialogue and for that i am looking for a Co-Author who could brush those up for me
    The Marry Sue stuff - I have not even revealed what her current power set is and she is labeled Marry Sue Jesus . The most Power she has shown and used is in the second chapter that being a genjutsu which again Koneko Broke Instantly and freed Akeno. Now if this fact was not well explained in the that chapter it would have been in the later ones. And i don't Think Labeling any character as an Marry sue or Gary stu even before the first major arc or a fight is just not fair in my opinion.
    Still U r blunt Critique is much appreciated as i am not Hiding the fact that suck at writing dialogue and my English but i also want to improve those mistakes as well
     
  7. mapu

    mapu Getting sticky.

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2017
    Messages:
    81
    Likes Received:
    204
    Put dots at end of your sentences. Will improve your writing greatly.
     
  8. siddharth1998m

    siddharth1998m Getting out there.

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2019
    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    34
    End of a dialogue or inner monologue
     
  9. siddharth1998m

    siddharth1998m Getting out there.

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2019
    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    34
    Sure i will do that
     
  10. mapu

    mapu Getting sticky.

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2017
    Messages:
    81
    Likes Received:
    204
    You still use dots in dialogue, especially in between different people talking. Especially if you do different paragraphs. You don't put a run-on sentence in different paragraphs. Or at least put in some commas, even if it does not make sense as people speaking are different. Also if you use actual question and exclamations marks you don't need to do stuff like "questioned questioningly" you have after direct speech. Are you confused to where put punctuation marks in direct speech? Because you just need to put something at the end of your sentence, irregardless of direct speech, and quotation marks don't really count as a sentence end.
     
  11. siddharth1998m

    siddharth1998m Getting out there.

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2019
    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    34
    I have been told i use way to many adverbs in my work and my Grammer is also bad mostly because my whole English vocabulary mostly came from watching sitcoms
     
  12. Threadmarks: Chapter-1 Rewrite
    siddharth1998m

    siddharth1998m Getting out there.

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2019
    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    34
    Author Note: This is a rewrite of the first chapter that will be followed by the second chapters’ rewrite
    1. Why am I rewriting this Fic?
    2. I found a way to make my OC a little more compelling. As I was writing the third chapter, I realized that my character needed more of a compelling reason to move forward. Plus, the Hyoudou Family back is the most normal of all, so it really didn’t mix well with my OC character. Because of that, I changed Akane to Akane Orimura, so she can be a separate character. She knew Issei as a kid and later became friends with Irina as well.
    This story borrows elements from Naruto and Bleach.
    From Naruto:
    - Sharingan, Eternal Mangekyō Sharingan as well as its abilities which will be revealed in the later chapters (My OC is a Sharingan user);
    - Chakra also work similarly in this story as it did in Naruto so all chakra user of Highschool DxD can use Justus from Naruto.
    From Bleach:
    - Angels, as well as Exorcists, use Quincy abilities while fallen Angels can use Kido. Now, this doesn’t mean Angels and Fallen Angels can’t use spears of light they can still use it how this work will be explained in the later chapters.

    The is a Femslash fanfic the OC will also not have Harem she will pick a partner and stick with her. Issei, on the other hand, will have a harem.
    I Don’t Own Naruto, Bleach or Highschool DxD
    Co-Author- DxDOnline


    The Red Eyed Queen
    Chapter 1

    “Attention passengers, this is the captain speaking. We are making our final approach on Haneda Airport. We ask that you please fasten your seatbelts as we make our descent. Thank you.” The Japanese voice ringed across the airplane, as passengers began to fasten their seatbelts and attendants assisting whoever needed it.
    A flight attendant was making final rounds, making sure everyone had their seatbelts. And for the most part, it seemed like everyone was buckled up. Well, minus one passenger.
    Seated in the back of the cabin, there was a young woman sitting with one leg crossed over the other, head resting on her hand, and seemed to be reading a magazine that was situated over her legs. She was a young woman – well, teen really, since she looked to be about high school/college age – with long, spiky black har that reached down to about her waist. Farming her face were shoulder-length bangs, which covered most of her right eye with the position she was currently sitting in now. This also made it difficult to tell if the woman was reading the magazine or if she was sleeping.
    Noting that calling to her might not be the most effective way to get her attention, the attendant decided to lightly tap the woman’s shoulder.
    Having felt the light tapping that was coming from her shoulder, the woman turned in the direction it came from, to find the attendant smiling at her, her arm outstretched. “Yes?” the woman asked.
    “We are about to land, miss. Could you please fasten your seatbelt?” As she said this, the attendant pointed to the seatbelt, noting that it is currently not fastened.
    “Oh, thank you,” the young woman replied, a smile on her lips as the attendant left to make sure the first-class cabin was fastened.
    Once she was buckled up, the young woman breathed in and slowly laid back on her chair again. She stared out the window as the city of Tokyo, Japan grew ever closer. “Well, looks like I’m back,” she whispered to herself, enjoying the scenery as she sank even more into her seat.
    “Attention all passengers, this is your captain speaking. We have arrived at Haneda Airport. We thank you again for flying with Tokyo Air, and bid you all a good day. Have a nice stay!” The message from the captain broke the woman out of her thoughts, and the fact that the plane stopped moving pretty much confirmed that they had landed. In fact, there was quite a bit of activity going on as a lot of the other passengers were getting ready to disembark. “Huh, how about that,” she muttered to herself as she put away the magazine she was reading back where she found it and began loosening her seatbelt.
    As she made her way off the plane, she met eyes with the stewardess who told her to buckle up a little while earlier. She caught her waving goodbye, with a big flashing smile on her face. The young woman smiled and waved back. ‘A little too nice for my tastes,” she thought as she came out.
    She was out in the main airport terminal a little while later, and when she gets there, she breathed in the fresh air. “Might be best to keep a low profile for now; at least until I can make contact with the Devils of this area,” she thought as she moved towards the luggage belts. It didn’t take long after arriving there to find her bags and grab them from the belt.
    She extended the handle to her bag and pulled it alongside her as she made her way to the check-out booth, passport and ticket in hand. “Next,” said the clerk at the booth. “Good morning,” she greeted, her Japanese sounding a bit rusty given she never had to use it back in Italy.
    “It’s been a good while since you used Japanese, huh?” he asked, having picked up on the thick Italian accent in her voice.
    “Something along those lines,” she replied, the Italian accent still present.
    ‘Well, I wouldn’t worry too much about it. Your regular accent should be back within a month or two,” the clerk replied, still busy with processing her check out. After he had finished and found everything to his satisfaction, he took out his stamp, cleared the ticket and passport, and gave it back to her. “Here you go, you’re all set. Welcome back,” he said with a friendly smile.
    “Thank you very much,” she replied, as she left the booth. Once last bag check after her checkout, and she made her way over to where the restrooms were. “May as well cleanup loose ends,” she muttered to herself, spotting a restroom with a “Wet Floor” sign in front of the door. After making sure no one was around to see her, she went into the restroom, hoping that it is empty. Ideally, she should have made sure of that fact, but she had no time and there were people waiting for her outside the airport.
    She took out her phone from her jeans pocket first, removes the SIM card, and breaks the little card in half, throwing it away in a wastebasket. She also made sure to scratch out the model number and device ID from the phone she had on her as well, before tossing that in the trash as well.
    AS she handled that, she kept hearing some light moaning coming from one of the stalls. At first, she ignored it, assuming someone was just answering to “nature’s call”, as it were. However, since the noises didn’t stop, she decided to try and find out what was going on, concentrating her chakra in her ears to try and find the stall. She found it and regretted the decision soon after.
    “Out of all the places to fuck in the world, you chose a public restroom in an airport?” she thought as she looked through the gap in the stalls. Within, she had seen two sets of feet, and a set of woman’s clothing, including bra and panties, just lying on the floor. “Looks like they aren’t even trying to hide the fact that they’re fucking either, huh?” she adds, shaking her head in disgust. After she trashed her phone, she was starting to leave, when she picked up on the horny lovers’ conversation.
    “I’ve been waiting for him for so long,” came a male voice grunt.
    “And whose fault is that, huh?” the woman responds, between moans. “You just couldn’t help yourself and ended up making me pregnant. Of course, your brother would have to come back to see his wife after she had given birth to a son.” Her ears then picked up a low-pitched laugh coming from the male, and the woman started moaning louder than before.
    “Enjoying themselves, aren’t they?” she thought in disgust of what she had just heard. Looking around the restroom, she didn’t find any other luggage other than her own. “Looks like this ‘lovely’ couple just came to drop the other guy off.” She pictured the brother/husband of this couple, and a feeling of slight irritation started to bubble up inside.
    Normally, she would have ignored couples like them, but not these two. She never really liked couples who committed adultery, and this is a case example of the kind she disliked the most. She began to look around the room, brainstorming a way to teach them a lesson. Then, and idea hit her. She snatched the woman’s clothing off the floor, since she was too busy enjoying the situation to notice they were gone and dumped them in the trash can where she dumped her SIM card and phone. She then cast a tiny fire jutsu, one just big enough to light the contents inside the trash can on fire.
    With her work done, she left the restroom and airport with her luggage, knowing that the building’s smoke detectors will do the rest of the work for her. 20 seconds after she left to room, the smoke detectors did the work of alerting the security officers as well as other people to find where it’s coming from.
    A few minutes later, a woman’s loud scream could be heard in the corridor that was drawing everyone to come near. The girl who started the small fire chuckled under her breath. “Serves you two right,” she whispered, making her way towards the people waiting for their arrivals. She stood in that area for a moment, trying to find her ride into the city.
    Looking over the crowd, she found a person holding a sign with her name on it in bold letters. She guessed that was her ride and went over to the middle-aged man holding the sign. “Are you by chance the one I was sent to pick up?” the man asked as she approached him.
    “I am,” the woman said, bowing her head in respect. “A pleasure to meet you…”
    “To you as well.” The man smiled and bowed in return. “Come, my car is over here.”
    The two walked over to the airport’s parking lot, and shortly after were at the man’s car. He opened the trunk of the car and helped to put her luggage inside while she went to take her seat in the back.
    “Ms. Yamada has asked me to take you to the new apartment she had pick up for you in Kuoh. It should take us about an hour and a half or so to get there, depending on traffic,” he informs her.
    “Wait, an apartment? Why?” she asks. “I already have a house besides the Kuoh shrine that my mother left for me after she passed,” she added.
    “You can ask Ms. Yamada when we get there. She will be waiting for you<” he answered, entering the vehicle.
    “Where is she anyway? I thought Ms. Yamada was supposed to pick me up at the airport?” she asked, the car starting to pull away from the parking lot.
    “Ms. Yamada was actually going to come with me to pick you up, but your school called to inform her that she hadn’t given them all of the essential enrollment paperwork. She spent the entire morning scrambling on her office computer to find and print copies of said documents,” he tells her, a humorous tone to his response.
    “Oh brother… did she find everything she needed before you came to pick me up?” she asked, dreading the she would have to do that work on her own.
    “She was able to, yes. Don’t worry too much about that,” he assured her. “I actually dropped her off at your new school on the way over to the airport. For now, just relax. I’m pretty sure the admission process is done by now,” he continues as he got on the highway to reach their destination.
    She sighed as she leaned into the leather of the backseat, “I think I’ll take you up on that,” she responded as she looked out the car window.

    Meanwhile, at Kuoh Academy
    It was just another day for Kuoh Academy. Another typical school day for the students. Another day of learning. And for a certain group of three boys, it was another day of being perverts.
    "C' mon, man! Don't hog it all to yourself!" one of the boys whispered, trying to squeeze himself to the peepholes to see their intended target. This was Matsuda, a member of the infamous Perverted Trio.
    "Shh! Be quiet or they'll hear us!" another one of the three said. This was Motohama, another member of the Perverted Trio.
    On the peephole was none other than the “revered” leader of this perverted group, Issei Hyoudou.
    What were they doing? Well, it had something to do with watching the Kendo Club taking showers. They didn't get their moniker, the Perverted Trio, for nothing after all.
    Issei felt himself getting hard down there as his nose bled. ‘Oh my god, this is heaven!” he squealed to himself. “So many boobs! Boobs, Boobs, BOOOBS!”
    "Issei, come on, let me take a look!" whined Motohama as he and Matsuda pulled Issei from his perch. "You had your turn, now it's mine!"
    "Oh no, you don't!" Matsuda grabbed his bespectacled comrade by the collar and pushed him aside. "It's my turn to witness the beauty of boobs!" He giggled perversely, climbing up the box.
    Motohama was having none of that though. "Get your ass back here! It's my turn to stare at the fun bags!" They began to have a scuffle, and Issei joined in.
    "You idiots! I was this close to seeing Murayama-san's tits, and you two robbed me of that chance!" The perverted boy screamed to the heavens as he tried to beat his friends some sense.
    "So…you three dead men are at it again,huh?" The Perverted Trio stopped dead in their brawl, all color draining from their faces. They looked to their side, and the boys’ fears skyrocketed. About a dozen enraged looking girls in robes with kendo sticks in hand. And they were staring at the boys with the fires of hell.
    "Hehe…hi, M-Murayama…" Issei stuttered out nervously. Said girl just growled and raised her kendo stick high over her head. "PERVERTED ASSHOLES!" All over the academy grounds, students could hear the screams of agony of some poor souls that dared to peep at the Kendo Club.
    In a different room in the Academy, the Student Council resided. The current president of the Student Council was Souna Shitori, also known as Sona Sitri, a devil and heiress to the Sitri Clan. Sona had heard the high-pitched screams and couldn't help but shake her head in annoyance. "There they go again. Getting caught doing their immoral acts." She sighed irritably.
    Sona Sitri was, by all means, a very beautiful young woman. A young, bespectacled woman in her late teens with a slim figure, black hair styled in a short bob cut and violet eyes. She is known to be a very strict and intelligent individual. Whether it is a matter of the Student Council or the Sitri Clan, she does not take anything lightly. Despite all this however, she is a very caring person and dedicated to those under her. But for the Perverted Trio, Sona was considering approving Murayama's request of castrating Issei and his cohorts. She swore the bastards had been eyeing her when she wasn't looking at one point.
    "And does that surprise you still?" A red-haired girl in front of her giggled. "You should know by now how they are, seeing as you’re trying to recruit him as well." The girl then moved a chess piece on the board. "Your turn, Sona."
    This was Rias Gremory, the most popular girl in the academy. She is a beautiful young woman who appears to be in her late teens with ivory skin, blue eyes and a buxom figure. Her most distinctive feature is her long beautiful crimson hair that reaches down to her thighs, with a single hair strand –the ahoge strand– sticking out from the top. Her hair also has loose bangs covering her forehead and side bangs framing her face.
    “True. He has something interesting in him which I am pretty sure would be an excellent fit for my peerage. His perverted nature can be ironed out through training,” Sona tells her as she moved her piece and had claimed one of Rias' own. "You seem to be getting better, Rias," she commented. It was no question that Rias and Sona had a bit of a rivalry between them, but they were still good friends. This was just a friendly bout.
    Rias gave a smile. "Thanks. But one day, Sona, mark my words, I will defeat you." Rias declared with determination. Ever since she was little, she and Sona had this fierce, yet friendly rivalry. They would compete over everything to see who was better, especially when it came to chess. Usually, Sona had Rias beat on this, but the Gremory heiress would not cry uncle until she tasted sweet victory at last.
    "Maybe," Sona began, "but that day hasn't come yet." She moved her queen, ultimately landing to her final “checkmate” position. "Checkmate, my old friend." Rias just gave out a sigh. This was already won by Sona from the very beginning, but she was getting better. "Hmm, well, don't get too cocky, Sona."
    A knock on the door interrupted them. “Come in,” Sona replied.
    Tsubaki Shinra, a young bespectacled woman with long straight black hair that extends all the way down to her knees, split bangs and heterochromatic eyes, with a violet left eye and a light brown right eye, entered the room with some documents and a file in hand. “We might have a little problem on our hands,” Tsubaki said passing over the file she had been carrying to Sona. The file that had a note attached to it. Sona picked up the file and read it.
    Sona,
    This is the Academy Head. I wish to inform you that we will be receiving a transfer student in the coming days and her credentials and bios are in the files.
    Thank you.

    “This note was signed a few days ago. Why am I getting it now?” Sona asked, not sure whose fault it was that the file was coming as late as it was. “I just got this file form a clerk but that’s not important right now. Check the student’s bio and credentials,” Tsubaki replied, pointing Sona towards the real problem. "A transfer student?" Rias asked in interest as Sona was opening the file and reading through the documents. It was common for a transfer student to take admission in Kuoh Academy and Sona and her Student Council dealt with them without any problem, so she was curious why Tsubaki was concerned with this student.
    “This doesn’t make any sense,” Sona said to her herself. “Are you sure this is correct?” Sona inquired, not believing what her eyes are seeing. “The information is accurate. One of the office members even called the numbers listed in the contact info for a standard checkup of information and they said everything here is accurate,” Tsubaki replied.
    “Sona what’s going on?” Rias asked, genuinely a little confused and concerned. Sona and Tsubaki shared a look
    “An Exorcist might be joining our academy” Sona replied passing over the documents
    “What?” Rias said out loud before taking the documents from Sona hands and going through them as fast as possible. “Sona she is…” Rias began, “she is part of The True Cross. Or at least, WAS a part of them,” Sona Finished her sentence.
    “Akane Orimura, age 17, twice-orphaned. First by her father’s death in a car accident and later her Grandmother, who died under suspicious circumstances. No signs of her mother as from the look of things, she abounded both her and her husband. She was taken in by Christian family with whose daughter she has been friends and moved away to Italy with them at the age of 10.”
    Rias read out her bio. “Wait, I know I’ve heard that name before,” Rias said to herself. “Who wrote this memo?” Rias asked Tsubaki, who leaned down to check what memo Rias was referring to.
    “Maya Hamada. She is a Child Service Officer, and Akane is one of her cases. She was the one who submitted her application, as well as her enrollment paperwork, to the school” Tsubaki answered, checking the signature where she was mentioned and had her child services certificate.
    “Rias do you know her by any chance?” Sona asked curiously.
    “No, not personally, but she is Akeno’s landlord,” Rias answered.
    “The house by the shrine in hilly areas? I thought your brother had bought that land up for you,” Sona asked.
    “He was going to, yes. He even offered to pay 5 times more than the land was worth, but that offer was refused by Maya Yamada, who only wanted to rent the house out” Rias explained.
    “That way too many coincidences for my liking.” Sona said, “What should we do?”
    “Alert all of our peerages. She might not be hostile towards us, but she is and Exorcist of the True Cross. It is best we be careful, at least for now,” Rias suggested, getting a nod of approval from Sona.
    “When will she be starting her classes?” Rias inquired from Tsubaki.
    “Tomorrow. She will be Second-year student, in Hyoudou’s section specifically,” she answered.
    “I think its best we invite her to my clubhouse so we could sort this stuff” Rias suggested further.
    “Are you Thinking about asking her to join your peerage?” Sona asked as Rias was getting ready to leave for her clubhouse.
    “If she is not with the church, sure I wouldn’t mind having another true cross in my peerage,” She replied as stood up and went to the door. “I will be seeing you two tomorrow at the clubhouse. Ohhh and don’t worry, I will be sending someone to escort her there.” With her piece said, Rias takes her leave.
    “Should I call all of them now?” Tsubaki asked.
    “Yeah,” Sona replied while looking at Akane Orimura’s Photo.
    “Is this the apartment?” Akane asked as the car stopped.
    “Yes, please go on inside. Ms. Yamada would have been waiting for you for a while now. I will bring in your luggage there. The apartment number is 2C” The middle-aged man said as he gets out of the car with Akane following him.
    The apartment building looked relatively normal. A beige, 3-story building with 6 apartments in each floor, and each apartment getting one small balcony space.
    She rang the doorbell of apartment 2C. “Coming, coming.” She heard Ms. Yamada voice from inside. A woman with short green hair with matching colored eyes and glasses answered the door. She was of around average height and was wearing a revealing yellow dress with short sleeves and knee-high boots. “Akane! Look at you all grown up! Last time I saw you were just small girl,” Ms. Yamada’s soft voice greets her.
    “And you haven’t changed a day,” Akane replies with a smile, happy to see her after such a long time.
    “Ohh you are such charmer. Come on inside.” She invited Akane inside. “Where is Kuro?” She asked.
    “He is bringing my luggage up,” Akane answers as she enters the apartment. It was an average one-bedroom apartment with a living room and kitchen space. The bedroom also had a small balcony and a washroom in it.
    “Well, do you like it?” Ms. Yamada asked.
    “Why are we here Yamada-san? I already have a house here in Kuoh by the shrine. Why would need to live here?” Akane asked her, still not sure why she was in this apartment.
    Ms. Yamada signed, “Look, while you were away, an individual came to me asking about the house, wanting to buy it as well as the land. I knew you didn’t want the land to be sold but I also did not want that individual to leave without a deal. You would need money for college, so we agreed on 3-year rent deal. That deal has still one year left, so until then you will have to live here,” she explained.
    Akane signed, as she really couldn’t blame her. Ms. Yamada was looking out for her. “Fine, I guess I can live here for a year. What about the rent of this place?” she asked her.
    “Oh, you don’t have to worry about the any of the expenses. They aren’t really a big deal since all of the combined expenses will only take 5% of the rent money you are getting from your house,” Ms. Yamada clarified, a dignified tone lacing her words.
    Knowing all that info, Akane was a little suspicious about who rented her house. She knew how much money that area generated, but the amount she was describing was quite a bit more than normal. A Knock on the door breaks her out of her thoughts. “Come in, Kuro,” Ms. Yamada said, inviting him inside. Kuro brought her luggage into the apartment and placed them in the living room.
    “Maya, I think it’s about time we take our leave. We have other business to attend to as well” Kuro suggested.
    “Yes, we should go. Akane, all the books that you will need have been placed in your study table, as well as your school uniform. which is in your bedroom’s closet. School will start tomorrow so set up your alarm accordingly,” Ms. Yamada informed. “You have your credit card with you, right?” she asked.
    “Yes, Ms. Yamada, I waste my money spending on stupid things. Anything else?” Akane asked with a smile, feeling a slight laugh wanting to come up from her chest.
    “No that’s all. Here this is my number. Call me anytime you need my help. Take care of yourself, Ok?” Maya said. And with that, left and closed the door behind her.
    “Thank you for coming to pick me up at the airport, Kuro,” Akane bowed thanking the man again.
    “It’s nothing. Like Maya said, if you need our help, call us anytime,” Kuro tells her as Akane sees them off from to her apartment door.
    With them gone she locked the main door, and with her back leaning against it, she gazed at the small, empty apartment. It was the first time in her 17 years of life that she will live alone. Which was a miracle, considering her sucky track record. But it was not that bad if she played her cards right. She might be a Devil by the end of the month. And after that, gaining more powers and serving her master would keep her busy for a long while. “Ok, first order of business is to get myself a new cellphone,” she said to herself. Her stomach seemed to disagree, a low grumble emanating from it. “Ok, first lunch then cellphone,” she chuckled, finally feeling at peace.


    Author Note: - here are my response to some of the questions that have been asked
    1.Dominus1389:- SHIP for Akane being Karasu Tengu just imagine it with EMS and Itachi's and Madara's techniques.
    Also SHIP for small harem Kuroka, Yasaka, Kunou, and Tamamo or at least Threesome Kuroka and Omamori Himari
    My Response:- While I like the Idea of Karasu Tengu and are the part of Shinto mythology. Problem Here is their design is way too much similar to that of the fallen angels. I was at one point seriously considering giving Akane Itachi’s crow abilities though when I sat and thought through it I decided to not do it.
    Also no Haram for my Oc sorry mate.

    1. Guest-Questioner:- Am I going to pair Akane up the with someone form Issei's Haram?
    My Response:- No she will not be pairing up with any of the girls in Issei harem.
    3.Guest-Questioner:- Battle Deck, What is that one? Also, How far will Akane' abilities go in comparison to the strength of Highschool DxD character's?
    My Response:- the battle decks function will be revealed by chapter 2 and 3 I suppose so stick around.
    Now an endpoint for her abilities I can’t tell you much with telling you something that is a spoiler but I can tell u this she won’t have Rinnegan in this story so you could cross that out.

    1. Gkso :- just out of curiosity but you're not going to make it travel the same bad path of the dragon fiction emperor and knight of red eyes because that of being bad and etc I say no offense but it was bad at first I understand you about the faction of heroes but let's go " I live to be the hero of darkness ñ "stop fucking what's wrong? can not think of a better way as neutral or something like that
    My Response:- Nooo She was not gonna do that before the rewrite and she is not gonna do that after the rewrite as well she won’t take the Itachi route
    1. Guest:- well the first time someone took inspiration from Red-eyed knight they made a broken as hell OC Gary Stu. Here's to hoping you don't do the same, good luck.
    My response:- Thanks mate I know for sure that I am gonna need your good luck
    1. Morgen:- Very good chapters. I enjoyed reading them so far. :)
    I would like if Akane's fighting style is like Yoruichi's or Soifon's hand to hand combat or maybe give her Senbonzakura from Baykuya because this sword is the best in my opinion. :)
    If you plan to add some characters from Bleach then make Yoruichi her love interest and her teacher. She also could be the former nekoshou queen before they were mostly killed by the devils (OR you could make Akane their savior and they got saved by her). :)
    I look forward to chapter 3.
    My Response:- You know what having the character of Yoruichi as Nekoshou is not a bad idea. You know what I am gonna do just in the later chapters. Now is she going to be mentor figure, in that case, yes Romantic interest I don’t think so?
    Her fighting style at this moment revolves mostly around dodging attacks, learning enemy attack patterns (Thank you Sharingan) and attacking back with a precise killing blows she is very much like Soi fon in that regards. So expect Akane to use shuppo down the line
    No zanpaktos for this fic at least They will just get lost amongst the holy sword, sacred gears and if want to write about zanpakto I want to do them justice.
     
    Akuma-Heika likes this.
  13. Bobbot

    Bobbot Getting out there.

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2018
    Messages:
    16
    Likes Received:
    11
    I like the rewrite can't wait for more.
     
    siddharth1998m likes this.
  14. Akuma-Heika

    Akuma-Heika The Devil Exists Within

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2016
    Messages:
    4,470
    Likes Received:
    5,480
    Only real advice I can give is to create space between your paragraphs. Currently, the chapter is a massive wall of text.
     
  15. Threadmarks: Chapter-2
    siddharth1998m

    siddharth1998m Getting out there.

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2019
    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    34
    Chapter-2
    Market Area in Kuoh

    “Thank you for your purchase” the shop’s clerk thanks as Akane was leaving through the shop's automatic door with a new cellphone in one hand and plastic bag in another.

    It was evening time in Kuoh, and the market area was bustling with people. Akane is among them, having been shopping for groceries and other items she was going to need back at her apartment. She just had one item left in her list of things she needed to buy and was now heading towards the shop.

    All things considered, Akane could not have asked for a better apartment. She really needed to thank Ms. Yamada the next time she met with her. While being small, the Apartment suited her needs perfectly. On top of that, her neighbors were great, as none of them bothered her or tried to welcome her to the complex. It was great. The location was also very conveniently suited to her current needs, since it was near Kuoh Academy, something that she guessed sold Ms. Yamada on renting it out for her. While her school distance from her apartment really did not matter much to her (she could have just easily traveled there from her house in the mountainside to Kuoh in within few seconds) she still appreciated the thought Ms. Yamada put in choosing an apartment for her.

    “Good Evening young lady. What can I do for you?” The shopkeeper to the flower shop she had just entered greeted.

    “Yes, I want two bouquets made. One mixed with festive Red Poinsettias, White Roses, and Pinecones. The other one I will need with bright White, Pink and Yellow Daisies mixed in with some Yellow Daffodils.” Akane gave the shopkeeper her order, who nodded and started preparing the bouquets for her. In the meantime, Akane decided to explore the shop for a bit.

    RING!! RING!! Her new cell phone rang, and stopped her in her tracks. She slowly pulls it out from her pocket, not sure who was calling, considering she just got the number. The number shown in the screen was not from someone she knew.

    “Hello??” Akane replied, a little suspicion laced in her voice

    “So, you finally left huh..” the familiar charismatic voice of a Fallen Angel Governor General greeted her. “Can’t say I’m surprised, but you should have at least called me first” he added.

    “What do you want, Azazel?” Akane asked, not even bothering to ask him how he got her number.

    “Now, Now, I was just calling to check up on how you were doing? It must have been hard for you to leave your friends behind for your ultimate pursuit for power,” Azazel replied with a phony sympathetic tone.

    “Don’t waste my time, Azazel. Get to the point.” Akane remarks, ignoring his snide comments.

    “I’ve got a job for you,” Azazel replied after a brief moment of silence, which only made Akane laugh a little.

    “I haven’t even left the church for a few days, and you are already asking me for favors, Azazel,” Akane said in amusement. “Are you really still mad at me for leaving the Exorcist’s?” she asked him.

    “Miss, should I add a greeting card to the bouquets,” the shopkeeper asked, mostly done with the bouquets.

    “Well, now I have to jump through fewer hoops to get in contact with you, so that’s less annoying, but I am not asking you to do me a favor. It’s a job for which you will be paid handsomely,” Azazel replied while Akane waved her hand saying “no” to the shopkeeper. The shopkeeper nodded in response, continuing with her work.

    “Money is of little use to me, Azazel. I thought you knew that by now.” Akane chides him. “If you want me to do the job, you already know my price,” she tells him, getting an annoyed growl in response.

    “Fine, I will have them moved to your apartment once the job is done. Deal?” Azazel asked.

    “Deal.” she replied as she swiped her credit card and enters the code in the machine shopkeeper gave her. “So what’s the job Azazel?” she asked as she got both the receipt and the bouquets in a plastic bag. The shopkeeper thanks Akane for buying the flowers as Akane leaves.

    “Well your job Is to keep an eye on a few fallen angels I have sent in Kuoh,” Azazel informs.

    “Azazel!!” Akane groaned, dreading the mission already. “Please tell me you not asking me to babysit your fallen angels” she asked him.

    “No, No, No, anybody else could have done that job if that was the case. No, this job requires your peculiar expertise,” Azazel said in a dubious tone, which caught Akane off guard. “My particular expertise? An assassination contract,” Akane thought to herself.

    “Go on,” she replied as she was nearing her apartment building.

    “Not over the phone. Get back to your apartment, and a package will be waiting for you in your mailbox.” And with that, Azazel cuts the call, leaving Akane alone to wonder what kind of job Azazel had for her that required that many precautionary measures.
    ************************************
    She got back to her apartment within 10 min with a black box in one hand and two plastic bags in the other. After locking all the doors and shutting all the curtains in her apartment. she took a seat in her living room sofa, placing the black box at the tea table she tries to find a button the activate it. Sadly, there weren’t any buttons present there.

    “Goddamnit Azazel!! Why do all of your inventions have to be so god damn complicated,” Akane growled in frustration, placing the box back at the table unable to find a way to activate it.

    “Voice recognition confirmed: -Subject- 03071998 Akane Orimura,” A voice spoke from the box, and in a few moments, the top of the box started to move in a circular motion outward. An orb started to rise from the box, stopping when it reached the height that was about double the box’s height.

    “You are here. Good” said a tall man, who appeared to be in his twenties with an average build, black hair, golden bangs and black goatee dressed in a knee-length dark blue blazer with a light blue dress shirt, a black waistcoat, and a red tie. He wore faded-purple slacks and black dress shoes, which appeared by the side of Akane’s sofa. He looked like he was present in the room, but a few flickers present in the image made it clear that it was a hologram.

    “So tell me what’s so important about this job that you had to go through all this nonsense,” Akane asked him, as she picked out a soft drink can out of the plastic bag she had brought home.

    Azazel sighed “In the last few months, dead bodies of potential sacred gear users have been found all around the world. And you may think, ‘Well, why would I, Akane, care other Sacred Gear users?’ Well, most of them have one thing in common; all of them were being followed by fallen angels to some extent,” he informs her as the full body scans of dead bodies appeared before her in her living room in the form of holograms, which she decided to check up on. All of them were around the age of 17 to 23, and had no visible signs of trauma.

    “Cause of death?” She asked as she takes sips of her drink, scrolling through the dead bodies.

    “Well some of them have GSWs, and some of them showed stab wounds,” Azazel said as the case file started to separate into three categories. Akane took out a body of a stab victim and placed the hologram near the other body she was recently going through.

    “Well this wound is definitely not a light spear wound” Akane remarked as she pointed out the stab wounds. “Whoever killed this guy did a really sloppy job, something a fallen angel would never do as they do tend to go for sweet spots like the larynx, spine, lungs, liver, jugular, subclavian artery, kidney, or heart, not stab their victims repeatedly in the stomach like a moron. yes It works, but it’s sloppy.”

    “So you are suspecting the bodies with no visible trauma present died because they got their Sacred gears extracted,” Akane asked him as takes back her seat in the sofa.

    “It would explain the cause of death,” Azazel replied stroking his goatee.

    “So why aren’t you tracking those sacred gears? I’ve been hearing rumor of you building a machine that could track down sacred gears for years now, this report just cements those rumors for me,” Akane asks him.

    “You really need to learn about keeping your ears to yourself,” Azazel says to her, eyes twitching in annoyance. “The machine was made in order to track potential sacred gear users, not sacred gears themselves, and mostly because you can’t track down sacred gears individually. After being extracted from their fated user, they start to wither away in somebody else hands until they back with The Law of Cycles waiting for being born with a new user,” Azazel explained to her.

    “How long does the withering process take?” she asked, throwing away the now empty Soft Drink Can in the dustbin.

    “By my estimates, a year and a half. And that are what concerns me,” Azazel tells her “All of these deaths were unnecessary, especially because gathering sacred gears is useless if you don’t have their user with them. Yes, it’s a slow process training them but it wields long-lasting results later on. This, on the other hand, is just a quick gathering of arm and ammunition for a fight that they know will end sooner or later” Azazel explains his concerns.

    “Someone gathers arms and ammunition for a possible conflict. For a war,” Akane theorized, getting a nod from Azazel.

    “That’s the same conclusion Baraqiel and I came to as well. Though, seeing the situation at hand, a Mutiny amongst the fallen angels is much more likely,” Azazel replies, making Akane massage her head as tries to calm down the headache the situation was causing her.

    “Is there someone you suspect as a possible culprit?” Akane asked.

    “The Fallen Angels are a family, both in a figurative and literal sense. How can I suspect someone from my own family?” Azazel replied, his voice showing the pain he is feeling suspecting someone from the Grigori.

    “Did you at least question the Fallen Angels who have been involved in this cases?” she asked.

    “We did, but it produced nothing. None of them knew anything regarding the situation. Now whether they were lying or not, only time will tell” he replied.

    “So what do you want me to do here Azazel? From the looks of things, this is some serious Fallen Angels business, and I’m an Outsider to those,” Akane asked him.

    “These are the Four Fallen Angel agents that are coming to Kuoh Tomorrow” Azazel says, as the profile of those agents appeared in front of Akane. “These are one of the few fallen angels that have been involved in the murders in some capacity. While we do not suspect them, we also have not exonerated them yet,” Azazel adds.

    “So they are here following a sacred gear right?” Akane asked as she read through their leaders, Raynare, profile.

    “Not just any sacred Gear. It’s one of the Longinus they have been tasked to follow, study and even recruit if they find him suitable for Grigori,” Azazel informs her. “Your job here is to follow them around without being noticed, and see if they are following my order. If they do good it narrows down our search here, but if not you are tasked to tail them until you have enough evidence, and capture them so I and Baraqiel can interrogate them in private and find out who is responsible,” Azazel tells her about the task as a pair of glasses with a black frame appeared from the side of the black box.

    “Use those glasses to gather evidence on the case. There is a button placed in the frame of the glasses which will let you take photographs of anything you are seeing. Don’t worry about the light, the glasses can automatically adjust themselves for a better picture. A copy of all the photos taken will be sent to me directly so you don’t have to worry about dropping of the evidence” Azazel informed her as Akane examined the glasses. “The glasses also have some other features that you might find useful in field” he adds.

    “Do you have any idea about where they will be staying?” she asks as she put away the glasses.

    “No, it’s not a high profile mission for them so I don’t know where they will be staying. Though there is a high chance they might find a place closer to Longinus user.” Azazel answered.

    “Okay, so who is the Longinus user exactly, and which Longinus does he carry,” Akane asks, thinking about doing a quick survey near the user’s location to find all the possible locations they might stay in.

    “How the hell would I know that? The machine doesn’t tell me the identity of the user. It just lets me know that user lives in Kuoh, and come on, it’s a Longinus user. You will know exactly who they are when you find them,” Azazel replied, pride of his invention present in his voice.

    “Yeah, about that machine Azazel. You are going to destroy that machine as well as burn its plans right?” Akane asked him.

    “Hehehe, looks like that has been a popular opinion today. First Baraqiel, and now you,” Azazel said in an amused tone.

    “Well, you creative sorts need someone to reign you in, otherwise the Frankenstein’s monster would become a reality,” Akane replied sarcastically. “That machine is a disaster waiting to happen Azazel, you know what will happen if the machine fells into the wrong hands. Destroy it while you have time,” Akane warns him. Azazel nods in reply before his hologram disappears.

    “The Black Box will self-destruct in five seconds” the message from the box made Akane chuckle. After the five-second countdown was over, the box disintegrated in the tea table.

    “He really needs to stop watching those Mission Impossible movies,” Akane said out loud in amusement. She got up from the sofa to check what time it was.

    “8:00 pm. I guess I should get things done today. Don’t know if I will get any free time after today,” Akane muttered as she took the plastic with the bouquets inside and left her Apartment.
    **************************************
    Co-Author- DxDOnline
     
    Kamehb likes this.
  16. mapu

    mapu Getting sticky.

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2017
    Messages:
    81
    Likes Received:
    204
    Your formatting and punctuation has greatly improved. Good job.
     
    siddharth1998m likes this.
Loading...