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Traveling the Omniverse as Jaune Arc

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Jake Knight, Jul 12, 2020.

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  1. Threadmarks: Prologue
    Jake Knight

    Jake Knight Making the rounds.

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    My name is Jake Knight, I live in an average christian family, I am an only child, unfortunately my father had left me when I was just a baby, I had no clue on what he was other than the fact that he had a good heart but was way too irrisponsible and got into some things.

    My mom was the best mother of my life, she loved me, and supported me through everything, gave me everything so that I could be happy, unfortunately I ended up as a spoiled brat.

    That's ok, Life, diciplined me as puberty hit, man, those kids were intense, I got depression for like three years, actually I still do have it, even if it's only slightly.

    My hobbies?

    I am a avid, fan fiction reader, and love to watch some anime on television.

    It's not cartoons it's anime, huge difference, anyway yeah, My facination is currently on Jaune arc, as I had got to him from fan fiction.

    How many fanfictions did I read about jaune arc? too many, and this was after all of those millions of Dragon ball, Naruto, Multicross, dxd, familiar of zero, fate stay night, rwbyand so on.
    Naruto is an inspiration to all outcast, although I can't stand his English voice so I have to switch to Japanese, I love his motivation to prove everyone wrong, how he uses his talk no Jutsu to change everyone even his enemies to friends, it wouldn't have happened if not for his past, when the nine-tailed Fox attacked his village.

    It wasn't a demon, it was just a being made of chakra, a Buju created by the sage of six paths hagoromo, after he split the Juubi, into parts.

    I am also a big fan of Dragon ball, I loved Dragon ball Saiyans and their hair color changes with every power break.
    They have no limits, and they work hard to break each.

    Honestly, I don't care what anybody says all forms were badass.

    The only thing I didn't like was the God forms, that to me was just lazy drawing.
    I don't know I guess it just that I had so much awesomeness with the Ssj4 and the fan-made pictures of ssj5 and beyond that when the ssj God forms came tI existence it was just like... meh.

    Anyway, I got a call from my school saying that we are allowed to social distance in the college, which was awesome, but I decided against it, to be honest, I am more comfortable at home.

    Don't judge!

    Anyway, I was just doing my thing, I was Drawing Jaune arc with Ace's clothing, You know the dude from the xenoverse trailer?

    Who is Jaune Arc? some people never heard of him.

    Some people may think of him as some type of dissappointment, failure, or just absolutely hate him.

    I don't, no that does not mean that I am gay for Jaune. It just simply means that I just like his character.

    Think about this, he kind of reminds me of Naruto without his hyperactive state.

    He also reminds me of Steve Rodgers before he got Injected with the super soilder serum.

    Peter Parker before he got bit by a spider.

    Benjamin Tennyson before he had gotten the omnitrix.
    Shirou emiya before he got his unlimited blade works

    It was just so much potential, that so saw from my stories, and it made me so excited because his family had always seen him as weak, so I would imagine his family coming over their and licking his ass.

    Those who looked down on him, there just like everyone else, they only focus on the surface instead of seeing what's on the inside.

    A heart of Gold

    I have read a lot of stories, a lot of them

    The only thing that was different was his hair and his eyes, His eyes were Purple with ringed patterns( You know the rinnigan while his head was pitch black He also had a crown on His head and croceao mars strapped to his sides.

    All in all? he looked like a total badass

    Yeah, he looked so badass. I had made a plot and everything, with this Jaune.
    This was an au Jaune Arc Prince Jaune of Arcadia who had ran away, from his family to pursue his dream to become a hero, as his family refused to train him and kept things away from him as he knew was his destined, he did not understand, but as he fought bravely once he was ambushed by Grimm long away from home.
    He awakens the power of a different world, the rinnegan! and demolishes the Grimm,

    Afterward, he is summoned by Shenron, to Toki Toki city His body is changed into a way where it can be strong enough to face the threats of that universe.

    Once I finished what I was doing, the tv started blinking rapidly, for a few minutes before everything goes black.

    The second I open my eyes I found myself staring at a familiar, figure, the said figure smiled kindly at me.

    "It's good that your here young one."
    My eyes snapped open and my eyes instantly widened at who I was seeing.

    "Morgan Freeman?!"
     
  2. Jake Knight

    Jake Knight Making the rounds.

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    I am the same author on webnovel and sv as jake knight pend
     
  3. Gigant

    Gigant The Jackal Of Tsagualsa

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    It seems so,I can’t find the right word but the closest words I can think is silly and stereotypical but don’t let my words put you down I’ve no doubt that some other people will like your work
     
    Jake Knight likes this.
  4. Alchto

    Alchto I want money so I can get some pussy

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    "You know the Rinnegan while his head was pitch black He also had a crown on His head and croceao mars strapped to his sides"

    Do you mean "You know, the Rinnegan? While he had a head full of pitch black hair(?), he also had a crown on his head and crocea mors strapped to his side"?

    There was also a lot of other grammar errors but I think this was the most glaring one.

    You have a problem with not knowing where to put capital letters, like when you were naming the animes and there's "dxd" without any while the other ones had it perfectly or "heart of Gold" when the capital letter is kinda unnecessary.

    If you check it, there's commas instead of dots in the end of paragraphs or no dot at all, you definitely need a beta or the need to use grammarly, I never used it but a lot of people use it methinks. I'm not a expert in english too, I'm just pointing out what I can see here.

    I like the concept, if a little overused with rinnegan and all... why would he still use a crown if he's trying to escape of his royal duties to be a hero? Is his hair black because of you love for DBZ and he's part saiyan? Definitely watched, I want to see where this is going.
     
    Jake Knight likes this.
  5. GraphiteCrow

    GraphiteCrow Daemon of Slaanesh

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    hmm, this seems a bit excessive. if this is going where I think it is going and you will be inhabiting the Fanfic Jaune... what really makes him Jaune anymore? The Soul and Mind are the SI's, he is a Saiyan and has the Rinnegan so a lot of Jaune's physical defining attributes are gone as well, it is really only his sword that makes him Jaune Arc. I can understand that this story is a conduit to a power fantasy, the idea to live vicariously through the story of Jake being this uber-powerful Jaune but what has he done to gain these powers? will we see him struggle and sweat? because that was one of Jaune's defining characters is his struggle to become a hero. It is usually more satisfying to start weak and gain power gradually rather than instantly gain it through a snap of the fingers or fate foisting power upon you.

    On the other hand, these use to be a guilty pleasure of mine to read power fantasy stories and I am just one reader out of many, your target audience may love this story.
     
    Jake Knight likes this.
  6. Equalist

    Equalist Know what you're doing yet?

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    Looks like generic immature power fantasy where author wants to inhibit body of character he likes, sorry for harshness but if shoe fits... Also kinda hard to read.
     
    Jake Knight likes this.
  7. Vainglory

    Vainglory Selena's Cello

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    That's sooo stupidly common nowadays
     
  8. InfiniteChaosRai

    InfiniteChaosRai World's only not-cringe Furry

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    of course you are a webnovel author. you have the Grammer to prove it.
     
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