Twisting good into stupid darkness for fun

Don't really know where to put this since it doesn't belong in the role playing and creative writing parts of the forum since it's not actually a writing project or anything.

Anyway what this thread is about.

Basically you take something, like a quote, and twist it into the darkest possible interpretation for laughs.

Like this.

Gamera is friend to all children!

Of course he is. He's protecting his future food source as he eats the human adults. Children taste awful to him, like unripe fruit.

 

An Apple a day keeps the doctor away, which make sense considering that is the name for the nanite bioweapon released in the atmosphere three days ago

 

A Penny Saved Is A Penny Earned.

... I'm keeping her in my basement until the cops stop looking...

 

The early bird gets the worm... The intestinal worm, that is.

The second mouse gets the cheese... And some action too, if he's not too picky.

Birds of a feather flock together... Makes it easier to sight the artillery.

 

Waste not, want not, said the cannibal, standing over his friends corpse.

Worth a dime a dozen, slave costs really have gone down in recent years.

Blood Is Thicker Than Water, but it’s much more fun to watch blood run

There’s more than one way to skin a cat
...Don’t even need to alter that one

 

- Curiosity killed the cat - how the poor thing even got to mars we'll probably never know.
- Two heads are better than one, especially if you want to start a collection.
- In for a penny, in for a pound...ing?