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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. NightmareWarden

    NightmareWarden Not too sore, are you?

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    I'm also glad you're back. Read quite a few insightful posts from you during my recent re-read of this fic. I haven't retained everything, but I'll try to help if you want a refresher of any details.
     
  2. PJCG

    PJCG Getting some practice in, huh?

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    Wait ....
    Your re-read this fic, including the posts?
    Damn...
    I've read till I caught up without reading the posts and it still took me a week. Can't imagine how long it's gonna take you.
     
  3. CTrees

    CTrees Chasing the ring

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    What does "Jd-I" mean, here?
     
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  4. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    That his mouth still moves faster than his brain.
     
  5. NightmareWarden

    NightmareWarden Not too sore, are you?

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    Well generally I flipped through the comments for 10 to 20% of the updates. After something particularly funny happened or when major developments occurred. But of course there were arcs like the Clarion Call (Paul in Heaven) and Equestrian Girls (Grayven at his hammiest) where every update was a hoot and the comments just supported the afterglow update after update.
     
  6. BartlettMagic

    BartlettMagic just GIVE me... the f'n UPDATES

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    Beulah
    giggity
     
  7. Maxx Crowley

    Maxx Crowley I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Thank you.

    I admit, I was not expecting excitement from the author upon my return. Good to see you too Zoat. Glad you are in good health.

    I think I'm okay? I had 100 plus notifications though. So if I missed a reply to something I said....whoops.
     
  8. Threadmarks: Kaising the Joint (part 1)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    6 013 937.M41

    "I… Do not understand."

    I shrug as Bo'ohk and I walk side by side through the Fire Caste medical facility. Not.. 'Fire Caste exclusive', it's just that this hospital specialises in treating the sort of traumatic injuries that come from combat. It's increasingly tau practice to stabilise the seriously wounded, then stick them in suspended animation and ship them back to places like this if they can't make them fighting fit where they are. The particulars of tau technology and especially their form of warp travel mean that it's not as inefficient as it sounds like it should be.

    "How may I illuminate your path, honoured Prince?"

    I'm getting a few looks, but for the most part the Earth Caste physicians and cybernetic engineers around us appear to be assuming that if I made it past the guards then I'm supposed to be here, a wonderfully human response which brings a smile to my face.

    Bo'ohk-. I stop and turn around when I realise that he's not next to me any longer. He's pinching the lower part of his nasal cleft slightly, an expression which I think indicates that he's having a realisation of some kind. Though to be honest it could just mean 'some sort of emotional response' and the pinch happens because he's emitting a pheromone that other tau can pick up on but I can't.

    "That was intended as a witticism. You choose not to speak as you normally speak, but instead quote the words of the tau you have heard back, implying that the context is the same."

    He's learning. Whether he's learning quickly or slowly, in absolute terms or for a member of a caste which mostly just deals with other tau, I can't say.

    "That's the surface level meaning, certainly."

    Another pinch, then he nods. An Earth Caste nurse walking past him widens her eyes in shock and takes a step away from him before hurrying on.

    "A minimisation of criticism, or a sign of camaraderie. I have revealed ignorance, a weakness. You use humour to show that you are not annoyed, and that you appreciate my honesty. And to avoid appearing excessively emotional about our friendship, because in your culture certain displays of emotions amongst males is considered inappropriate."



    Maybe I should have been a bit less honest when I was explaining this stuff to him and Tsua'm.

    He walks up to him, raises his right hand in benediction, and then lays his palm on my forehead.

    "I too value our friendship."

    He then pats my forehead, then lowers his hand and walks past me.

    I chuckle, then turn around and stride to catch up with him.

    "I can't tell if you did that because you don't understand human body language, or to make a point."

    "Can it not be both?"

    "Hah!"

    "Ah. That was not intentionally a witticism."

    "No, no. I think you've started to understand me on such an intimate level that you make human witticisms instinctively. I like it, but you might want to watch it around other Ethereals."

    "I doubt that will matter. I suspect that you will be a lifetime assignment. One way or the other." I no-. "You see? A minor insult; the implication that I do not like the idea that I am assigned to work with you until one of us dies. A minor insult to increase feelings of-."

    "It-. Doesn't work well if you explain it all the time."

    "'Killing the joke'." He nods again as we move into the psychological ward. "I understand."

    Here there are members of both the Water Caste and Ethereal Caste. Even tau suffering from post traumatic stress disorder will instinctively calm themselves in the presence of an Ethereal. Even most extreme psychological disorders tend to be moderated by their presence. Of course, the Tau Empire being what it is, they're not focusing their resources on healing the afflicted so much as trying to engineer out the flaws in their society and physiology which allow those breakdowns to happen in the first place. But if it were me, I'd rather have people use me as a case study while I was being cared for than have them turn me into a servitor.

    That's pretty much the Tau Empire all over, really. Not great, just… Better.

    "But if we may return to productive." He turns his head towards me and slowly winks, forcing another chuckle out of me. It's so bad. "Discussion, I do not understand why you are reluctant to be around other humans."

    "What would I have in common with them?"

    "Almost every part of your biology?"

    "Yes, but apart from that. I came to the Tau Empire because I have more in common with you socially than I do the humans who are part of the Imperium."

    "There are humans in the Tau Empire for whom the Imperium is a distant memory."

    "And they're not much less crazy. Look, if you want me to try sharing my mindset with some… If you really think that's the best use of my time, then… Fine. I'll do it, for the Greater Good. But socially? I prefer being around you and Tsua'm and Shor than I would any human you're likely to find."

    Shor's assignment to our group is proof that whoever runs the Lar'shi Fio'ar'tol either has a sense of humour or has been replaced by a drone. She's intelligent, mentally flexible, phlegmatic, and also has a personal name that literally means 'lantern', and was thus naturally the best fit when the Empire called for someone to research the power ring.

    "Would you be willing to visit human worlds within the Empire? I would be interested to hear your insight."

    "Certainly." We walk through a door into a secure ward. "I-."

    "…approved this-."

    Two pulse carbines are immediately pointed in my face as the bodyguard of the Shas'o who is remonstrating with the Fio'vre overseeing this patient's care decide that I'm not invited. This… Would be Shas’o T’au Lusha. I'm a little surprised that he's here, but since the whole mess on Dolumar IV was relatively recent I suppose that it's perfectly possible that he's waiting for a new assignment. The fact that I've clearly made a bad impression is unfortunate; given what I know about him he's my second pick if this doesn't work.

    The Shas'o approaches, and while the Fire Caste aren't specifically trained in human psychology he appears to have picked up enough from watching human officers to attempt to intimidate me.

    "What do you want with Shas'ui T'au Kais?"

    "The Empire wants me to train someone to use this ring-" I hold my left hand out slightly, a solid orange gauntlet forming around it as I do so, then dissipating. "-in case I die. I agreed, on the condition I chose the candidate. Shas'ui T'au Kais has the psychological characteristics which I believe make him a good choice."

    Bo'ohk lays his right hand on my left shoulder.

    "Orange Lantern is being honest. Even though he did not know Shas'ui T'au Kais's identification code, he described his actions on Dolumar IV in detail. He spoke well of him."

    "He's in a coma."

    I nod, my eyes flaring as I take a closer look at the patient. Ugh, his sheer fear at becoming the barbarian warrior some of his fellows accused him of being combined with the stress of his first Trial by Fire is causing him to keep himself unconscious in order to protect other tau from him.

    This is a man who single-handedly killed a possessed Warlord Titan. Who destroyed a daemon prince in close quarters.

    "And I believe that I can fix that." I shrug, a gesture that he probably won't understand. "You can always shoot me after he wakes up."

    Shas’o Lusha steps aside but doesn't give his escort new orders, their guns remaining firmly pointed at my head as I walk towards the bed. Kais looks like rubbish. His muscles are wasted, and tubes run into him from the life support machines on either side of him. The only decoration is a small shard of glass on the sideboard with 'With pride' written on it.

    I fabricate a small knife with 'PRIDE' written down the fuller and then clamp his right hand around the hilt. Then I lean in a little closer.

    Ring, in Gothic.

    Ave.

    "What a disappointment, Fire Warrior. After I heard of your fearsome deeds, I though that it would please mighty Khorne if I were to test myself against you. And yet, here I find you abed, weak and vulnerable. But in memory of your past valour I will give you a chance. Rise, and fight me. If you do not, I will drag every tau on this planet into this room and sacrifice them as a testament to your coward-."

    And there's a knife in my neck and his eyes are open and staring as he tries to wrench it to sever my carotid arteries and I transition backwards and heal myself as he tries to crawl after me, blood-coated knife in hand.

    "He's awake!"
     
    Last edited: Oct 24, 2020
  9. B.B. Rain

    B.B. Rain Not too sore, are you?

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    So, the 'And then I'll fuck your corpse' approach to therapy isn't limited to Indigo Saul.

    Nor, apparently, is its success rate.
     
  10. Darko

    Darko Experienced.

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    This was hilarious.

    Yes, hah.

    'to understand'

    In fairness compared to the Imperium the Nazis and Soviets at their worst are better than the Imperium on their best.

    Now I can't help but imagine these tow hooking up in a romantic sense.

    We know Paul likes bad people, even if most of the ones his versions date are female.

    That may not be true, seeing as human civilization in this universe is much older that the one in his universe so some changes would have occurred.

    The Mary Suenes in strong in this one.

    'to sever my'
     
  11. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
     
  12. BR549

    BR549 This is filth! FILTH!!

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    And thus the term used is further degraded by being used to mean something it doesn't...

    And regardless the term you're looking for is 'protaganist powers'.
     
  13. NightmareWarden

    NightmareWarden Not too sore, are you?

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    “...I too recognize that trend in our hero-friend’s behavior. Perhaps forcing a comrade to express disgruntlement is a self-mandated test?”

    “Shas’O, I know your temperament well. The conflict in your expression means there is a story to share!”

    “The Orange Lantern provoked me with exacting detail and precision. I.. responded in kind, rebuking the human.. with this knife.”

    “...”
     
  14. Darko

    Darko Experienced.

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    Ahh, that bit about him destroying a Warlord Titan and a Daemon Prince by himself kinda makes my use of the term fairly accurate.
     
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  15. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker, Rookie Proofreader

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    Quite as I would expect a Tau to be, around an average human. Seriously, they don't even understand their Gue'vesa auxiliaries, humans who joined the Empire willingly... :) Oh, yeah... A 40k Interlude. Cue the Homer gurgles.

    And because of the segregation of their castes, of course the majority of their cases would be Fire Caste soldiers. Maybe you'd have a few Air Caste pilots or Earth caste engineers who got caught in a battle, but it's mostly soldiers.

    And you have an Ethereal with you, granting you even more 'I'm meant to be here' points for them.

    Still getting used to twentieth century English idioms, eh? I bet he's getting those kinds of headaches a lot. Even other Humans don't act like P'aul would...

    Heh, the joy of educating strangers about human culture. Not even current human culture at that.

    I wonder what the nurse picked up from him? Annoyance, certainly. But what else?

    :rolleyes: Gee, you think? Still, better this than accidentally insulting someone without realising it.

    Gee, headpats from Ethereal Senpai already? x3 You're doing very well on the romance track in this one!

    Yes, pat the clearly crazy, but very very powerful, human on the head. I'm sure that wouldn't be taken wrongly. Good thing P'aul isn't actually crazy (beyond what's needed to manage an orange Ring...)

    Got to admit, the Tau has a point. And a quirky sense of humour, it seems.

    Ah, an accidental sense of humour, then. the humour of the bemused straight Tau.

    And given the shit P'aul will inevitably step in without meaning to, Bo'ohk might well end up dead. (Is it wrong that I'm now picturing the guy who played Shephard Book in 'Firefly' as his voice artist?)

    Well, at least he's got that much down. I foresee good things ahead of him...

    True. Imperials don't hold much with the concept of mental health...

    It's like watching a terrible actor try to play a subtle role. The kind of bad movie you watch ironically.

    Thirty-plus thousand years of manipulated evolution and cultural shifts? Unlikely. Gods only know what science did to the human body during the Dark Age of Technology, let alone the times before that. Never mind the whole 'likely a psychic blank' P'aul has probably got going on.

    Yes, and they're still off by P'aul's standards. Because again, thirty-plus thousand years. Our modern culture is very different to that of the first 'ancient cities' of the Middle-East, Central Africa or China. And that's less than twelve thousand.

    <facepalm> Seriously? I'd hope that was just a coincidence. Otherwise, something narrative is happening around you...

    Though I bet some of that insight would be 'They're nutters, the lot of them.' I can't imagine the kinds of cults springing up without their enthusiastic Inquisitorial restraints...

    And that gives us a solid timeline here. Just after the events of Fire Warrior...

    ...And you're meeting it's protagonist. The toughest Tau ever seen in the fiction at that point, in my opinion. Seriously, dude was slinging Astartes Boltguns and Meltaguns. That takes badassery on a level unseen in the Tau at that time.

    Oh, my. I can just see it now: Construct Battlesuit armour, dual-wielding construct Broadside Railguns? Brings a whole new meaning to the term One-Man Army. or One-Tau Army in this case. :p

    Huh, I'd have expected his knowledge of the setting to have been scrubbed from his mind. Or is this more of a 'favourite edition' removal, and what he remembers is less accurate after retcons...

    Not exaggeration, not hyperbole. You do both of those things in the game (albeit the Titan gets destroyed from inside, I think?) But soloing a Daemon Prince? Big balls. Big Brass balls.

    The physical damage is easily fixed. I expect you'd have full physiological workups on all five Castes by now. Now, waking him up... Let's see how you manage that.

    Lovely. The old shock treatment. I see that's a common thing for you, rather than unique to Saul alone...

    And those words would make him think the Daemon he defeated has returned. For vengeance and a good fight, no doubt, because Khorne.

    Well, good thing you didn't heal him beforehand. He'd have gone Doomguy on you... Rip and tear.

    Fascinating look at what the 40k Alt!Paul's been up to. I wonder, would he have been/be likely to get snagged by Krona, or is the 40k-verse too far from DC in cosmic terms (especially since Marvel is doing a bunch of comics now, starting with the life and times of Marneus Calgar...)


    ...past the guards then I'm supposed...
     
  16. Vaermina

    Vaermina Versed in the lewd.

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    The first is a massive exaggeration, and the second is false, he only killed the Daemon Prince, he didn't destroy them.
     
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  17. Darko

    Darko Experienced.

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    Most humans in this setting tend to act like:

    "MAIN, KILL, BURN, MAIM, KILL, BURN, MAIM, KILL, BURN, GO TO CHURCH"!

    See above sentence for explanation on current human culture.

    Ehh, paragon has some trouble with social cues, so maybe this one will too.

    Are we talking about the same Paul here?

    Well only in how to break it and brainwash people.

    Either this guy has been in multiple settings, or Paul just read the file the Tau Empire has on him.
     
  18. Darko

    Darko Experienced.

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    This reminded me of this:



    Mash is so cute!
     
  19. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Yes. Bo'ohk is a good deal younger.
    Ah. No. This is the protagonist of the novelisation.
    And unlike the game version, the Daemon Prince wasn't a retarded Lord of Change who spent the whole fight stun locked.
    He'd have tried. The mind is willing, but the flesh has spent months in a coma.
    Thank you, corrected.
     
  20. transhumansage

    transhumansage Not too sore, are you?

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    hanging out with the tau is all well and good, but arent you going to try to reform the imperium? imean you tried to heal the emporer.
     
  21. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    I'm pretty sure that he didn't. For a start, just getting to the Emperor would mean bypassing the strongest defences in the Imperium, to say nothing of his own psychic abilities.
     
  22. Darko

    Darko Experienced.

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    No, he didn't.

    Someone did write an omake of him trying to heal him, but ti wasn't Zoat.

    The only thing we saw of this version of Paul before this chapter was when he asked to join the Tau Empire and telling them about a Tyranid infestation on their ship.

    Reforming the Imperium would also be very, very difficult, since they're essentially a bunch of rabid zealots who don't like it when someone tries to think, so making the Tau Empire more powerful until it can stand toe to toe with the Imperium is a good bet for helping the galaxy.
     
  23. Korfayron

    Korfayron Making the rounds.

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    I love With this Ring Warhammer.

    I need to trawl the omake list at some point.
     
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  24. Maxx Crowley

    Maxx Crowley I trust you know where the happy button is?

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  25. WereDragon

    WereDragon Bookwyrm

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    I hate 40K dating systems. Last chapter was 0 086 936.M41 (And a bit) so… a couple of months?

    A good choice of disciple. He is likely more Green than Orange but that is probably for the best.

    No, due to context.
    Firstly he was the protagonist of the game and book he featured in.
    Secondly because he absolutely suffered horrific negative consequences.
    Thirdly because 40K actually has a fair number of characters who regularly punch that far above their theoretical weight.
     
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  26. nick012000

    nick012000 Experienced.

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    Not all of them are, though. Take the narrator of this official trailer by GW for Necromunda: Underhive, for instance:

     
  27. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Probably. The first digit changed because he can't check back with Earth any longer, so dates become more of an estimate.

    Edit: Sorry, misread myself. There are 1000 year segments in a year, so the gap is just under a year.
     
    Last edited: Oct 24, 2020
  28. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Going back to Paul. Considering the situation, would Paul consider using some of the extra rings in his possession to recruit someone on Earth? I'm thinking Lonnie Matchin, because he hasn't mentioned any other possible candidate that isn't Lex Luthor. Every little bit of help goes a long way, especially when fighting a force that is trying to make your race near extinct, or at least harvest a sizable portion of it.
     
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  29. Darko

    Darko Experienced.

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    I think he'd try to call another orange lantern rather than recruit a new person, mainly due to the fact that it would take time to train them, while there are plenty of already existing Lanterns that have been trained and probably have fighting experience.
     
  30. Gilhelmi

    Gilhelmi Know what you're doing yet?

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    I have been gone for another week. Always annoying because I miss the discussions.

    First, glad to see Gravyen's Artemis is able to have someone to talk to. Him reconnecting with his children will take time and work, but it seems doable.

    Second, despite the show's flaws, I always enjoyed GATE. I am American, so I am more used to the nationalistic male genitalia waving. Heck, I know that European's find the number of US flags per square Kilometer disquieting (see, I am being nice by pretending to know what a Kilometer is :D). But taking pride in one's nation is not necessarily a bad thing. (unless taken to an extreme)

    Third, I really hope that I am not the only one who appreciates both Paragon and Renegade for the separate stories that they are. I anticipate both and am glad to get back to OL Paul, just as much as getting back to Gravyen.

    Fourthly, I have no idea what is going on. I never had the opportunity to get into the 40K universe (nearest game store is an hour away, and miniatures happens on a weeknight). But I still rather enjoyed the story. Especially that last bit. I don't need to know who these people are to know that would wake up a true warrior.

    I am so looking forward to OL Paul being back. I really want to see where that goes. Maybe this will get Earth to reconsider a real Defense Force? Maybe not because time-travel and no one but him will remember any of it? So many possibilities.
     
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