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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    The great thing about Chekov's gun is that I don't have to tell you what calibre it is.
     
  2. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Hm? How would Luna not know? Celestia taking over was the moment the group raising stopped?

    Also, it turns out that Grayven falling over in pony form will never not be funny to me.
     
  3. Darko

    Darko Well worn.

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    Either change it to 24th or add 25th over the link in the spoiler box.

    'makes'

    At least you two seem to agree on these things.
     
  4. Dan O'von

    Dan O'von Know what you're doing yet?

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    I wish I could like this twice. If I was ever on this site in desktop I'd sig this.

    Is this a quote or your usual pithy self?
     
  5. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    They grew up in a time where Discord did whatever the heck he wanted with the sun.
    Thank you, corrected.
    I'm not aware of it being a quote, though the ideas involved are obvious enough that someone else might have come up with it independently.
     
  6. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    And doing it in Equestrian form makes it easier to stand on a similar level to them. Not so easily done as an eight-foot-tall humanoid. And horses usually do handle being afoot better than resting. Even those more used to standing on two legs, it seems. :p

    Heh. Of course the bookworm likes to sleep in, eh? Or just up too late studying? It seems some things don't change even when you gain phenomenal cosmic power...

    Let me guess, a very late dawn and many confused animals and ponies?

    And letting Sunset vent about the latest boneheaded (to her) move Celestia made, of course? Anything to prevent a repeat of her biggest blow-up, I suppose... Though it would be kind of tough to beat running away to another planet, possibly in another universe.

    Ah, you never expect the serious ones to be so good at snark. :cool:

    They carry on as they ever do, eh?

    I wonder if that 'burden' bit is more than a metaphor. I mean, a Sun large enough to illuminate the whole planet would have to be fairly massive, even if not overly large.

    Something of a Chicken and Egg conundrum, eh? Who came first? The Alicorn or the Solar procession?

    Hey now, just because he's a little freaky doesn't mean you need to say he stinks... Though you could probably post a pic of that face with the meme, "It was as if she were looking at walking excrement." On the Internet back on Earth...

    Short of depowering him violently, anyway. I see Discord's still taking that threat of a little poke with the Sword of the Fallen seriously.

    ...That depends on your definition of a prank, I think. o_O What happened?

    ...Uh, G-man? She wasn't joking. That actually happens in canon, in the end...

    And yes, that actually happened too. To the point of using the Elements against them... Methinks Twilight needs lessons in delegation.

    Managing a party night or a celebration festival do not a good queen make...

    In other words, It's too large a job for a single Alicorn. Unless you go the bureaucratic route and have her as the figurehead of an entire government... But that can lead to its own problems (Looking at you, pre-twentieth-century China!)

    Unless they want to relocate. But most of them are too invested locally. The Apple farm for example... Quite the conundrum...

    Ah, light dawns on marble-head.

    Of course, the ponies would hardly notice. 'After all, Celestia's always been there. Of course she always will be, won't she?' Her retiring would be like Mount Canterlot vanishing, in terms of unthinkable to the people... Such is a drawback of nigh-immortal rulers.

    The challenge would be managing such a parliament on a large scale. If the delegates live in their precincts, they'd have to spend unreasonable time wherever the group would meet. If they live in a parlimentary city, then they'd fall out of touch with their constituents... Never mind the election process across a country the size of Equestria.

    Especially since he's more Acquisition than Conquest proper. He understands when to let his followers handle themselves and when to step in...

    Although not quite perfect enough. Otherwise Nightmare Moon would never have come to pass. I get the feeling she's been in charge so long that even she feels a little reluctant to loosen the reins.

    Well, you clearly feel so strongly on the matter, of course you feel the need to expound on alternatives.

    :p What kind of tone were you hoping to set, Casanove?

    Methinks the present alone would have been sufficient. But as always, Grayven second-guessing himself and overthinking things when he shouldn't.

    You know that's hardly an impediment, between two power rings and Boom/Hush tubes...

    "Finally! I thought you were going to waffle on forever!"

    Oooh, has someone been doing some home improvement? Making a little love shack? ;)

    I do hope you at least furnished the bedroom, G-man.

    Oh, don't worry. I'm sure the lady can accommodate a clumsy oaf like you. Just do keep ruining the romantic tone of the piece... :p

    Heh. Nice to see some action on that front. Well, presumably off-screen action, unless that's something for another thread. x3 Still, There's a lot for Luna to pass on to her sister and fellow Alicorns. Things they're going to have to consider, especially if Sunset continues with her plan to ascend other Alicorns. Like, the issue of managing the political side of things. But that's for another time, I suspect...
     
  7. Darko

    Darko Well worn.

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    He kinda showed up on Earth 16 before the series ended.

    Me thinks a romantic one.

    He is a Paul, so overthinking shit comes with the package.

    She probably isn't so used to them, so doesn't pay them much mind.
     
  8. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    ...

    I've been writing this story for seven and a half years.

    I was just thinking 'how long has it been? Three or four?'. Nope. Seven and a half.

    Huh.
     
  9. theaceoffire

    theaceoffire I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    *Everybody and everything.
     
  10. Rafin

    Rafin Know what you're doing yet?

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    Speaking of, Mr Zoat, I noticed that Paul told Haephestus about how Vulcan used to be a volcano god. I don't know if you're aware, but ηφαίστειο (from which the name Ήφαιστος/Hephaestus derives) also means volcano in Greek. So it's probably a pre split thing and not a Vulcan-specific quirk.
     
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  11. Senevri

    Senevri Know what you're doing yet?

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    So, longer than the time skip?
    That being said, I'm only a couple of episodes in on YJ S2, so no rush....
     
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  12. jasonh23761

    jasonh23761 Know what you're doing yet?

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    I discovered this story sometime in 2014 or so when the archive was a dozen pages. It has been a pretty consistent part of my daily routine ever since. I was in high school and now I'm post college age.

    What a ride it has been! Ups and downs included.
     
  13. Wheenesss

    Wheenesss Versed in the lewd.

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    What are you going to do if you make it to a ten year anniversary? :V
     
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  14. WereDragon

    WereDragon Bookwyrm

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    They remain cute together.

    And at least it is an actual canon thing the author chose to rant about this time.
     
  15. quietwhile

    quietwhile Getting out there.

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    Hah! That's fair. Suffice it to say that I'm excited and curious about how that's going to play out. :p
     
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  16. Doccer

    Doccer Not too sore, are you?

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    Fixed that for ya!
     
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  17. Xmaster3000

    Xmaster3000 Getting sticky.

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    Can I sig it, please? :)
     
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  18. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Look forward to the next ten?
    No, I'm going to use internet magic to prevent you.
    That wasn't a rant.

    You'll know when I rant.
     
  19. Flightless Man

    Flightless Man Not too sore, are you?

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    I read it about six(ish) years ago(Zatanna and Star Saphire arc hadn't finished yet), but that was when I didn't bookmark things and after binging I forgot the name. Came back this spring and found a bunch more story. It's weird because I used to skip Grayven chapters but now it's my favorite portions. I think it's because I'm at the engaged and looking into fostering stage, so Grayven really hits a chord with me now.
     
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  20. Relyt33

    Relyt33 Getting sticky.

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    Amazing on how time flies.
     
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  21. transhumansage

    transhumansage I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    and i hope you keep writing.


    unrelated question, but its been bothering me,
    can anybody on surface world learn atlantean magic if they were given permission by the atlanis gov or do they have to be homo magi? is the answer the same in dc comics canon? can anybody pick up magic? what about in the yj series?
     
  22. Stsword

    Stsword I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    According to word of Greg for YJ, genetic talent is a factor in learning magic, but no one is prohibited from learning it, it's just a matter of some people being naturally better at it.

    In the comics, it's similar, but rather than talent per se it's about energy. Magic requires energy. The genetically blessed like homo magi, changelings, demigods, nephilim, cambions, etc, etc, etc, they've got mopeds instead of bicycles.

    So anyone can learn magic in the comics but it's far less convenient. I remember one sorceress giving Zatanna a little speech about it. Something like "You're one of the magi, aren't you? You have no idea of the deals I've had to make. The sacrifices made. No selling your soul for you, you just wiggle your fingers and go bippity boppity boo and magic comes to your call like an eager puppy!"

    Zoat has simplified things and focused on it being a skill, talent or some people having a natural energy reserve is downplayed in importance.

    Energy reserves are still a thing though, as evidenced by Circe getting a magic bump from Hecate possession and then replacing that with New God status or the Lords enjoying the benefit of a personal all you can eat buffet from the realms of Order or Chaos.
     
  23. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    I think I've forgotten how not to.
    Anyone on the surface can -in theory- learn any style of magic they want. It would take a great deal of application, but they could do it. The modern Atlantean tradition grew out of a pre-existing tradition, and a small number of Atlantean books have made their way to the surface over the centuries. There isn't any general prohibition against Atlantean magic users teaching surface dwellers, but since they wouldn't have the background knowledge or constant exposure it wouldn't be easy for them to learn.
    This as well.
     
  24. Caerwen

    Caerwen Know what you're doing yet?

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    Got something special planned for the 10th year? ;)
     
  25. My_Game_Account

    My_Game_Account Getting out there.

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    Is it still on the same track you originally set for it? It seems like a lot could change about you and the way you write in that amount of time.
     
    Last edited: Apr 25, 2021
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  26. Ardy

    Ardy Not too sore, are you?

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    I believe he mentioned Zatanna was originally going to be a love interest. Then he realized how creepy that sounded and stopped.
     
  27. Threadmarks: Negetiations (part 1)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Negetiations

    2nd August 2012
    09:00 GMT


    "No, no, I like it."

    I look up at the anatomy arena, as physicians, magicians, medically and theologically orientated Lanterns and a surprising number of Controllers look back.

    "Very nineteenth century. And since that was when my country was at the peak of its relative power, I'm taking that as a good sign."

    Hinon shakes her head.

    "Please limit yourself to pertinent comments. Stand there."

    Rather than nod or point, she merely looks at a point just a little back from the centre of the examination space. I shrug and stride over to my appointed place before turning back to her. I widen my stance and spread my arms a little.

    "Like this?"

    "Acceptable." She glances up at the audience for a moment before holding out her right hand and calling a small tool to her.

    "Not a bad showing. How do you feel about the turnout?"

    "If I recall correctly, don't your species wrap screens about crashed ground vehicles, in order to prevent others jamming your highways by ghoulishly staring at them?"

    "No. Sometimes we just let people watch. We learn best from worked examples, and it's hard to get a better example than an actual wreck with actual mangled bodies in it."

    "I'm sure that you're every bit as fascinating as a mangled piece of wreckage."

    "High praise. But really. I know that you're ancient, but I'm reasonably well informed on Guardian history and I don't think you've had this sort of following amongst the younger races ever. The Controllers separated before they started up the Halla. Isn't this a novel experience for you?"

    "I have personally created more species than are represented here. And many of them I created intentionally."

    "Nothing?"

    "As much as anything else."

    "You want to swap places after this, see if I can fix that? It can't be a pleasant way to live."

    "The day I trust an infant like you to 'fix' my psyche is the day I let you. It will not be swift in coming."

    I smile. "Are you doing this? I didn't think you were a magician."

    "Do you just not pay attention when I say how old I am? I don't habitually use magic because taking advantage of the etheric ripples created by beings younger and weaker than me is wasteful."

    "So-?"

    The three Lanterns who will be serving as her assistants enter. Lantern Natu I recognise at once. I raise my right hand in greeting, but she remains almost aggressively impassive. I've rather been avoiding her since she caved to common sense and picked up the ring I left with her, but I suppose the chance to study me was more than she could pass up.

    The other two I don't immediately recognise, though I do recognise Lantern… Nax's? Species. Vagabond Dominator knock-offs, the Naidroth Collective are a minor but persistent nuisance across this galaxy, unnecessarily vivisecting people for data they could just as easily get by asking for a data file at a local hospital. I've firmly categorised them as 'Stupid Evil', though by Dungeons and Dragons definitions I suppose that they'd be 'Unwise Evil'. And the other fellow is…

    Lantern Hieronymous the Under-Achiever. That's… That's actually the name on his file.

    "I did recruit a number of wizards whose surnames aren't 'under-achiever'."

    "No need to worry about that, Lord Illustres!" He's smiling too much for someone that far gone into the orange light. "My problem was always one of motivation!" I can see the sigils in his eyes. I'm… Genuinely surprised that he's functional. "And with the orange light driving me on, there's no stopping me!"

    Oh. It… Looks like actually being able to do something useful is such a novel experience for him that even in what should be full megalomaniacal mode he's actually fairly placid.

    "Okay, so where do you want to start?"

    Lantern Natu nods. "Please remove your ring and your clothes."

    "As you wish."

    My robes vanish into subspace, followed by my underwear. My ring I float over to Controller Hinon. She looks at it for a moment, then sends it over to her equipment rack with a wave of her left hand.

    "Okay, so what's ne-?"

    My point of view jumps forward, and a humanoid-. That's the back of my head. There's also a non-trivial amount of pain, but that's far more manageable. Empathic vision is still working…

    "This is strange."

    Lantern Nax blinks at me.

    "Are you not in pain?"

    "A bit. What's happening?"

    "I have physically separated your different body tissues so that we may more easily study them."

    "Um. How?"

    "My parents called it psychic vivisection. I'm not exactly sure how it works. I have never done it to anyone who didn't immediately start screaming in agony."

    "It hurts, but I wouldn't say that it's scream-worthy. Then again, I suspect that I'm not an entirely physical intelligence any more."

    I try moving, but my perspective doesn't change. I can however see my arm moving in front of me. So I assume that I'm floating off the ground, and… My tissues have been separated?

    "We shall study how that works in detail. Lantern Natu?"

    "The subject is an adult humanoid male of the human species, thirty one years of age. Currently occupying his third body after the first was destroyed by magic-using Source-worshippers-"

    "And sword-using."

    "-and the second was destroyed in a qwa-matter explosion."

    I look up-. And wave up at Lantern Gozzi.

    "The subject has used his ring to turn each body into a facsimile of his original, which he considered to be 'ideal'. Here, we will compare the structures of his body to his original and study the effect of intense orange light exposure on neurological structures. Please hold any questions until the end."

    Oh joy.
     
    Last edited: Apr 25, 2021
  28. Darko

    Darko Well worn.

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    And that's actually a genuine compliment.

    Judging by the Psions, that's not something to brag about.

    Yep, she joined.

    Probably still pussed you were deceiving and tricking her that entire time.

    How is Natu's relationship with her homeworld now?

    Did she have to leave like in the comics?

    And probably how to best cause you pain should you piss her off in the future.

    Is this guy from Zerox?

    Ah Paul, truly even when you're being dismembered, you're still so nonchalant about it you crazy basrard.

    'works'

    I am sad there weren't more Common Sense chapters.
     
    Last edited: Apr 25, 2021
  29. moralrelativity

    moralrelativity Recovering pendant.

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    "Negetiations"'

    I'll just assume that's deliberate.

    EDIT: And, please, can someone remind me of OLs history with Lantern Natu?
     
  30. Queshire

    Queshire Not too sore, are you?

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    Ack, asking a superhero to not quip. That's truly torture.
     
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