• The site has now migrated to Xenforo 2. If you see any issues with the forum operation, please post them in the feedback thread.
  • Due to issues with external spam filters, QQ is currently unable to send any mail to Microsoft E-mail addresses. This includes any account at live.com, hotmail.com or msn.com. Signing up to the forum with one of these addresses will result in your verification E-mail never arriving. For best results, please use a different E-mail provider for your QQ address.
  • For prospective new members, a word of warning: don't use common names like Dennis, Simon, or Kenny if you decide to create an account. Spammers have used them all before you and gotten those names flagged in the anti-spam databases. Your account registration will be rejected because of it.
  • Since it has happened MULTIPLE times now, I want to be very clear about this. You do not get to abandon an account and create a new one. You do not get to pass an account to someone else and create a new one. If you do so anyway, you will be banned for creating sockpuppets.
  • Due to the actions of particularly persistent spammers and trolls, we will be banning disposable email addresses from today onward.
  • The rules regarding NSFW links have been updated. See here for details.

[RWBY] The Great Temporal Step-Sibling War!

Created at
Index progress
Incomplete
Watchers
441
Recent readers
153

Written with Sift Green, this first part is all by him.

--------------------

'No mater how...
Not So Normal Day at the Office

AndrewJTalon

Experienced.
Joined
Apr 24, 2015
Messages
2,739
Likes received
84,079
Written with Sift Green, this first part is all by him.

--------------------

'No mater how long you live, life will still find ways to surprise you,' Ozpin reflected as he took a deliberately slow sip from his coffee mug, keeping his eyes locked on the young man sitting across from his desk. Said young man was more child than teen, barely old enough to be starting Signal Academy. He had been caught snooping around Beacon's offices, trying to break into the records room. The secret records room only five people on campus were supposed to know about. Glynda caught him of course, and she brought the young man straight to the headmaster's office once she uncovered a few irregularities with the boy's identification.

A library card, a student ID from Signal, and a medical information card were all spread out on Ozpin's desk. All of them said the boy's name was Moses Nebogipfel, and the boy responded to the name too reflexively for it to be fake. All three of them either had an accurate picture of the boy or an accurate physical description, which lended credence to the idea that the cards were as real as they looked. Yet the cards were impossible.

All three cards agreed that the boy's birthday was Victory Day... five years from now. The cards claimed the boy's mother was a Dr. Weena Nebogipfel, a woman both Ozpin and Glynda knew personally, so while the boy did bear some resemblance to the theoretical physicist the idea that he was her secret child was absurd.

When confronted with these facts the boy had immediately cracked; "My semblance is Time Travel!" That confession had lead to a series of tests that convinced Ozpin that the boy could indeed jump forward and backwards in time. Glynda wasn't quite as convinced, but she could wait the twelve hours it would take to prove time travel was the way the boy had gotten a duplicate of the headmaster's staff. Still lingering doubts or no it was the right place to continue the interrogation.

"Now tell me Moses," Ozpin began as he placed his mug down, "Why did you come to this place and time?"

"It was an accident sir I swear!" Moses pleaded.

"Accident's happen," Ozpin allowed, "Just take a few deep breaths and start from the beginning. You're not in trouble with me, and the more I know the more I can help."

"Okay," Moses breathed, "Okay. So time travel's funny right? The reason I was poking around your records room is cause I was looking for a way to supercharge my semblance. Give myself enough juice to jump back to my own present. I usually only have enough juice to jump back and forward a few minutes at a time, but sometimes I have enough in the tank to jump back and forward a few weeks. There doesn't seem to be a rhyme or reason to how much juice I have in the tank, so I was with my friends and we were experimenting, trying to figure out its' hard limits you know? Well someone asked If I could bring someone with me on my time jumps, and I didn't know the answer. So my best friend volunteers and..."

Moses trails off as if he's at a loss for words. Ozpin remains silent, hoping to let the boy gather his thoughts. Glynda is less patient.

"So you brought your best friend here too?" She asks as she continues to bore a hole in the back of Moses' head with her glare.

"Yes," Moses answers in a distracted tone, a frown of deep thought growing on his face.

"Then could you tell me what they're up to and what they look like so they can join us in this discussion?" Glynda presses.

"My best friend is Jaune Arc's oldest kid," Moses explained. The dismissive part of Ozpin's mind wanted to chalk up that undescriptive description as an effort to protect his friend, but the way Moses said it made Ozpin dismiss that dismissal. Something odd was happening here. "Jaune Arc's second oldest inherited his Aura Amp, only they can shoot in in a beam, and they zapped us with it as I tried to jump. They're a prankster who get's a lot of dumb ideas you see."

Ozpin wasn't sure what Aura Amp was, but given the context he could guess it was Mr. Arc's semblance, and from the name it probably supercharged people's Auras. A useful bit of knowledge Ozpin could use to help his student once this time travel mess was sorted out. Ozpin put that musing aside as Moses continued.

"Anyways the brat zaps the two of us... the three of us?" Moses' thoughtful frown grew deeper. "Me and them makes two... no three. No more than three cause twins. No more than two cause there's only one of them."

"Excuse me?" Glynda asked.

"My memories are all jumbled up," Moses whined. "This is like a week before Jaune started dating his wife, and we're here now and things are changing..."

Alarm filled Ozpin's mind with that statement. "Are you saying," Ozpin inquired in a calm tone that hid his concern, "that your presence here changes who Mr. Arc marries, and you're remembering a different friend than the one you brought here?"

"Kinda," Moses began to rub his temples.

"Elaborate Mr. Nebogipfel," Glynda's tone didn't hide the alarm she was feeling, and apparently that was enough to set the young man off.

"I BROUGHT ALL OF THEM HERE! OKAY!" Moses snapped, "Every possible version of Jaune Arc's firstborn is here! And each and every one of them has some harebrained scheme to make sure Jaune marries their mom! I need to find a way to supercharge my semblance and grab them before they do something crazy!"

A deep BOOM reverberated in the distance, followed a few seconds later by the gonging sound of something hitting the office's window. Ozpin slowly turned his chair around, and was treated to the sight of a boy who looked like a younger version of Jaune Arc with Ruby Rose's hair color and silver eyes. The silver eyed boy was pressed up against the glass and slowly sliding down it as if this was a humous moment in an animated feature instead of real life. Then the silver eye boy pushed off the window and dove through the air back the way he had came.

A moment passed, and Ozpin grabbed his coffee mug while standing up. He took three nonplussed strides to his window and gazed out upon the scene of bedlam taking place in the courtyard.

Pyrrha Nikos was fighting back to back with a redheaded boy who had Jaune's eyes; their opponents Blake Belladonna, a handful of female exchange students Ozpin couldn't quite recognize at this distance, and kids who were probably the children of the exchange students. A pair of blonde cat Faunus, obviously male and female fraternal twins, were running around with a hogtied Yang Xiao Long slung over their shoulders while being chased by a girl who could only be Yang's daughter, the sliver eye boy, and a distraught Ruby Rose. A boy who looked a lot like a Schnee was yelling at Weiss, who stood as still as a statue with a look of disturbed incomprehension on her face. A girl who Ozpin believed was Emerald Sustrai was holding a child in a fireman's cary while running as if their lives depended on it; and if the way her team leader Cinder Fall was chasing her while screaming things like "Traitor!" and "Ungrateful Harlot!" loud enough that Ozpin could sort of hear them in his office was any indication, they very well could be.

Nora Valkyrie stood off to the side cheering the chaos on, occasionally firing a grenade into the scrum when it looked like Pyrrha and her probably son were getting overwhelmed. Jaune Arc stood beside Nora clearly at a loss as to what he should be doing. Lie Ren had placed a comforting right hand on his team leader's shoulder, and was facepalming with the left.

Ozpin took a long sip from his coffee mug, a quick glance to his left and right confirming that Moses and Glynda had joined him at the window. He then drawled; "Well, the good news is that doing something crazy didn't collapse the space-time continuum. Mr. Nebogipfel, if you'd follow me to the nurse's office, it looks like you've developed a bit of a migraine."

"Yeah, I have actually." Moses admitted as he rubbed his temples, shifting memories and friends being unbelievably stupid could do that.

"Alright then," Ozpin stepped away from the window, "Ms. Goodwitch, I believe you have a riot to suppress."

"With prejudice sir," Glynda agreed as she brandished her riding crop.

The time: Several hours before Glynda Goodwitch catches Moses Nebogipfel snooping around Beacon's records rooms.

The place: A camping ground on the edge of Beacon's campus, a dinning hall specifically.

"Our best bet is to trust Moses,"A redheaded boy named Xander declared with all the authority he could muster. "He finds a way to recharge his semblance, he takes us back to the future, and none of us have to worry about which one of us is from the real timeline because we didn't change anything!"

That was the plan Moses had given them before he ran off, and as far as Xander was concerned it was a good enough plan to stick to. Sure there was a degree of uncertainty that he'd still be around to see it finished, but he wasn't going to risk the stability of the space-time continuum to alleviate his own fears. If he was the true son of Jaune Arc destiny would see things though, and if he wasn't it would't. There were times and places where one should defy fate, and this wasn't one of them.

Unfortunately most of his paradox half siblings didn't see things that way, and it was taking all of Xander's knowledge and experience with wrangling his own younger siblings to keep everyone from running off to do who knows what to history. This experience was somewhat dulled by the fact that everyone else here was also an older sibling who knew all the same tricks, but at least he had backup in from the most forceful personality in the room; a girl named Dorothy who also agreed that Moses' plan was the best plan.

"The butterfly effect is something nobody should be messing around with," Dorothy affirmed. "If Moses had mastered his semblance then maybe we'd be able to take some risks, but we all know he hasn't, so we shouldn't."

The round robin meeting they were holding was a compromise all the half siblings had agreed to in order to avoid a fight. Even those who were unhappy with Moses' plan knew that trying to break off to do their own thing would just get them dogpiled by everyone else who's existence was also at risk. And so as long as everyone stayed here until Moses got back a terse detente could be maintained.

"Um..." a silver eyed boy raised his hand.

"Yes Julian?" Xander called for the boy to speak.

"Where are the Faunus twins?"

The dining hall erupted into a cacophony of motion, and pandemonium reigned.

--------------------

"You okay Leandra?" A blond cat faunus boy asked as a girl who looked a lot like him dry heaved. The two of them stood atop a skyscraper in downtown Vale, and the boy seriously hoped the girl wasn't about to dump her breakfast on an unsuspecting pedestrian below.

"Ugh, I'll be fine Leander," Leandra groaned as she returned to standing straight. "Why is it whenever we travel with your semblance I get a tummy ache, but when we travel with mine you're always fine? We have the same semblance! You should get a tummy ache too!"

"It's a mystery for the ages," Leander agreed as he pulled his twin sister away from the roof's edge, "But we can't dwell on that now. We need to plan. What do we know about how mom and dad got together?"

"Umm... Mom was seriously considering asking Uncle Sun out, but decided to ask dad out instead after she introduced Aunt Ilia to Sun and she saw how well they got along?" Was what Leandra pulled from her memory.

"That sounds right," Leander nodded, "So the first thing we need to do is find Aunt Ilia and get her to Beacon."

"Okay, that's step one, let's go!" Leandra rushed to the legs of the Skyscraper's water-tower, her brother only a few steps behind her. The water-tower's legs were only a few inches wide, not nearly big enough for someone to disappear behind them, yet disappear is exactly what the twins did.

The wind blew over an empty roof.

--------------------

"Now we're going to find them, and we are going to do that as a team!" Xander declared after order had been restored to the dinning hall. "We are going to move as a group, and we are going to keep a close eye on one another-"

"The other twins slipped away during the ruckus" A Schnee looking boy interjected.

The tension in the air spiked, and Xander felt what little control he had over the group slipping from his fingers. He needed a dragon of a threat to keep everyone in line, but his go to threat wouldn't work in this situation. He needed to think of something else fast. Unfortunately Dorothy was faster, and her threat was the reflexive one Xander was trying to avoid.

"EVERYONE STAY WHERE YOU ARE OR I'M TELLING MOM!" Dorothy bellowed.

At that moment Xander knew the situation was unsalvageable. The whole problem was that everyone here had a different mom, meaning the prospect of getting mom involved was less of a threat and more like something that sounded like-

"That's a good idea!" Julian grinned with genuine glee right before he dashed out of the room before anyone else could react.

That was when the damn broke, and within a few seconds Xander found himself alone with Dorothy as the other kids stampeded away.

Silence hung in the air for a few moments, and then Xander sighed as the tension left his shoulders. "Well, are you going to get your mom?" He asked Dorothy.

"Oh Gods," the girl replied with the air of someone who just had the most horrific realization of their life, "I can't go get my mom to help out on this!"

"Alright, look," Xander grabbed her shoulders and looked Dorothy in the eye, "My mom can probably beat the breaks of of their moms, so I'm going to get her and try to regain some control over this situation. If you can't get your mom then you can at least get out their and catch some of the slower ones, right?"

"Right," Dorothy agreed as confidence returned to her eyes. She charged from the room, Xander following close behind.

--------------------

A few moments after they were gone the other twins pulled themselves out from under the desk they had hidden behind. The two of them had messy black hair and eyes perfect for sitting in a corner and brooding.

"You want to get mom Ash?" The female twin asked her brother.

"Nah, mom was a doomsday device short of being a supervillain at this point in her life. It'd be counterproductive," Ash replied. "What do you think we should do Ashley?"

"Hmmm..." Ashley cupped her chin in deep thought, then after a whole minute she gave her answer; "We should find the armory. Get some heavier ordnance than what everyone else is packing right now. Then we put Mom's competition in the hospital long enough for Mom and Dad to notice each other."

"That's a pretty dark plan."

"This is literally an 'us or them' scenario Ash. We don't have time for paragon behavior."

"Fine, but when this bites us in the ass you're the one explaining this to Dad, capeesh?"
 
Last edited:
Ruby and Julian
@Sift Green

Julian Arc waited and waited... Until he found the perfect moment to ambush his past version of his mother: When she was in the kitchen making cookies.

He had to use stealth. Subtlety. Grace.

"HI MOM!"

"GYAH!"

Okay, maybe teleporting right behind her while she was putting cookies into the oven wasn't the best choice. She swung around as the uncooked cookies all went flying and she dropped the baking sheet onto the floor. Julian gaped in horror, and fell to his knees at the carnage he had wrought.

"NO! NO! WHAT HAVE I DONE? NOT THE COOKIES!"

His mother gaped at him. He bowed his head.

"I'm sorry Mom! I was stupid! Please, forgive me!" He cried.

"Ummm... It's okay?" His mother said, reaching out to pat him on the shoulder and head. "Why are you calling me Mom?"

Julian looked up with a bright smile. His mother had told him his smile was his best asset!

"Oh! It's like that really old comic, X-Ray and Vav, issue 198, when-"

"Their future kids come back in time to help them?!" His mom gasped. Julian nodded eagerly as he beheld the light of comprehension in her silver eyes.

"YES! Exactly!" Julian cried. He got up and hugged his much shorter mom. Well actually she wasn't much taller in his time, but she was a lot cuter! Which was... Weird? Kind of? Still, she hugged back just the same.

"So, uh... If you're my son-"

"Julian! Like Summer! Cause July!" Julian replied. Ruby's eyes widened further.

"That... That's such a good name! But uh... Anyway, if you're my son, who's your dad?"

Julian grinned broadly.

"Jaune Arc, of course!"

His mother blushed brightly.

"W-W-W-W-Wait?! Jaune!? I-I-I marry him?!"

"What? This is the day of your first date!" Julian insisted. "You've gotta make sure you go on it, or I won't exist! Or my ten siblings!"

"TEN?!" Ruby gasped, before she began hyperventilating.

"Ohhh... Maybe I shouldn't have said that," Julian groaned. "But seriously Mom, please? Go on a date with Dad!"

"B-B-B-But-I, I'm too young! I-I'm not as pretty-I'm not as-Anything-!!" Ruby tried, stuttering while red. Julian shook his head furiously and tightened his hug.

"Mom... Trust me. He... He loves you! Or-Or he fell in love with you! You were his best friend! I know, I know... He will love you."

"... Really?" Ruby asked softly. Julian nodded happily.

"You totally will! And uh... I mean... I hate to rush you, but I'm kind of on the clock here."

"Eh? Why?" Ruby asked.

Julian sighed.

"I think it's... Get Back to the Present rules. See, I went back in time with my best friend, Moses, thanks to his time travel semblance? But apparently, when we showed up... There were like, a dozen other people claiming to be Jaune Arc's firstborn!"

"Oh geez," Ruby gasped, "Like multiverse theory?"

"I don't know," Julian shrugged, "But I do know if you don't date Dad... Then I-I cease to exist. And my siblings."

There it was. That fact. It just... It landed so hard on his heart. He bowed his head.

"My whole family... I-I don't..."

He pulled out his Scroll. He displayed the picture of his family during their last vacation, up in the mountains. His mom and dad held each other, grinning brightly. Both in their winter armor, Dad with his beard, Mom with her longer hair. There he was, with his siblings all together, all holding one another in the cold but still smiling.

The prospect of losing all that... Of never being born...

"You and Dad... You have always been there for me," he said, "You... You two are so amazing. When I'm with you, I've-I've never felt scared, or worried. Because you were there. I..."

He looked back down at the picture, unable to meet her eyes. He then felt her small hand squeeze his. He looked over into her silver eyes. She was younger, softer, with fewer lines on her face... But that kind, warm smile was the same.

"I won't lose you, Julian," she said softly, "You won't lose me... Y-You won't lose us. I-I promise."

Julian smiled brightly. He pulled her into a hug, and she returned it. The weight on his heart dropped away.

"So," Ruby said, pulling back, "We just need to get to Jaune first!"

"Right!" Julian said cheerfully.

Ruby pulled open her Scroll.

"I'll just call him and... And..."

She frowned.

"Eh?! Why won't it work?!"

"Huh?" Julian asked.

Ruby scowled.

"The network is down?! How is it down?!"

- - -

Elsewhere, Theodore Schnee, son of Jaune Arc and Winter Schnee, finished the last touches to the Beacon network.

"And... There," he said with a nod, "Now to find Mother!"

- - -

"It might be one of the others," Julian said, "My Scroll's network access is down, too."

"Well!" Ruby said cheerfully, "We'll just have to find Jaune ourselves!"

"Yeah," Julian said with a nod, "But uh... What about the other kids? Pyrrha's son is pretty, uh... I mean-"

Ruby's Silver Eyes glowed, even as she smiled. It was something Julian had seen rarely, but only when his mother was either very mad, very determined, or both.

"Don't you worry about that, Julian. Mama's got this!"

How do you feel relief and terror at the same time? Julian thought. He still hadn't figured that out about his mom.

Hopefully, he'd still have the chance.

- - -
 
Last edited:
Blake, Leander, and Leandra
Written by Sift Green.
- - - - - -

"This is a great spot," Sun grinned as he flicked his fishing pole and sent his line out into the river. On his left was a bucket and a cooler filled with drinks and fish he had already caught. To his right Blake was sprawled out on the wooden planks of the dock soaking in the sunlight, her head propped up by a pillow and a new book in her hands. It was a perfect place to spend an day with a friend... or maybe more than a friend.

"Yep," Blake found herself agreeing with Sun's assessment: the sound of the river flowing past, the cool breeze contrasting with the warmth of the midday sun, the fish eagerly biting every hook sent into the water promising an epic cookout later. It was the perfect place to relax with a good book and enjoy the quite company of a friend... or maybe more than a friend.

And that was a line of thought Blake was hesitant to entertain considering the train-wreck that was her last relationship. Yet Sun's charm was completely different from the dark charisma of Adam Torus, there was a gentle and supportive warmth in the monkey faunus' nature the older bull faunus had lacked. Blake could tell that if she let down her defenses she could be quite happy settling down with Sun.

That was a terrifying notion, and the part of Blake that agitated for a better world rebelled against it. Could she really let herself become content and happy when there was so much that needed doing? And so the last lines of her defenses remained up and rigorously patrolled by the revolutionary's spirit. The book helped.

The book wasn't part of her standard fair of romance and intrigue; it was a science fiction anthology recommended to her by Ruby. The book had a unifying theme that could honestly have edged it into the horror category: time travel gone wrong.

In one story a man built a time machine only for the machine to get stuck between moments like an elevator stuck between floors, leaving the time traveler stuck between the tick and the tock for all eternity. In another a serial killer travel to the past and framed his younger self for a murder, setting the younger version of the man on the path that would make him a serial killer. The third story which she was currently working her way through involved a young man constantly dodging killer robots sent from the future for reasons that were unclear, but Blake could feel the reveal fast approaching.

As Blake turned the page a solid THUD shook the dock, and she looked up to see a peculiar sight. A large wooden luggage trunk was now on the dock resting between the two young faunus who had obviously carried the thing to where it now sat. How the two kids had gotten the thing on the dock without her or Sun noticing was another mystery, and the way the two of them were gasping for air made it clear they shouldn't have been that quiet.

"You kids alright?" Sun asked as he pulled the most recently caught fish off his hook. One of the kids held up a finger, a near universal sign to wait a moment. Sun put away his fishing pole and Blake placed her bookmark and tucked her book away in her purse. The two of them stood and they got a real good look at the kids as they finally caught their breaths.

The kids were both cat faunus with blond hair and perky feline ears. Even though one was a boy and the other a girl they bore such a close resemblance to one another that there was no question if they were related or not. They appeared to be really close in age, twins maybe? They also looked unsettlingly familiar to Blake. Were they related somehow?

The kids caught their breath at the same time, looked up with the same motion, locked eyes with Blake in the same instant, mirrored smiles broke out across their faces and they cried out with the same voice as they shot forward: "MOM!"

What. Thought Blake. "Wha-ooof," said Blake as the kids collided with her and wrapped her up in a bone-creaking hug.

"Uhhh... who are you two?" Sun asked the question Blake could not.

"I'm Leander," the young boy answered.

"I'm Leandra," the girl continued.

"Why did you call me mom?" Blake found herself asking in a tone that fully conveyed her bewilderment.

"Cause you're our mom," Leander explained as he took a step back.

"Our friend Moses has a time traveling semblance!" Leandra explained as she hugged tighter.

And in that moment Blake believed them. Seeing the two of them up close made several features unique to the Belladonna family stick out, though those features were somewhat diluted thanks to the influence of their father's genes. Blake squinted at them trying to find the features they got from their other parent, their hair was a particular shade of blonde that reminded her of Sun's hair, and as she squinted at their noses-

"I'm not your dad, am I?" Sun questioned, interrupting Blake's train of thought.

"Nope," Leandra chirped.

"Yeah you're not our Dad Uncle Sun," Leander confirmed.

What. Thought Blake. "What," said Blake.

"Yeah you started dating Dad after you saw that Uncle Sun and Aunt Ilia were made for each other," Leandra explained as she finally broke her hug.

"That's half of why we're here," Leander continued for his sister as he moved back to the large wooden luggage trunk. "We need to introduce Aunt Ilia to Uncle Sun!"

Leander popped the trunk open, and Leandra reached in and hoisted someone who had been trapped inside into a sitting position. She was definitely wearing Ilia Amitola's White Fang uniform and mask accompanied by a gag in her mouth, and she was making several angry sounds confirming to Blake that she was indeed Ilia Amitola. Ilia was tied up with several interesting knots Blake remembered reading about in several interesting books and seeing them on a friend was making Blake feel very uncomfortable.

"What." Said Sun.

Brothers of Light and Darkness my kids are crazy! Thought Blake.

"Why did you kidnap her!" Was what managed to come out of Blake's mouth.

"This is an emergency situation! We didn't have enough time to do anything else!" Was the excuse Leandra started.

"We aren't the only people who traveled back in time!" Leander continued for his sister. "A whole gaggle of time travelers arrived here today that are trying to change the past by having Dad marry someone else! If they succeed history could be changed forever!"

Blake had a whole book in her purse about why messing with history was a very bad idea. The revolutionary's spirit within her stood up and took notice. The weight of the world was falling upon her shoulders in this moment, and she'd be damned if she buckled under that weight and failed to rise to the occasion.

"Where's your Dad and who's your Dad?" Blake found herself asking as she pulled her weapons from her purse.

"Our Dad's Juane Arc," Leander provided, "and you'd probably have a better idea of where to find him than we do."

"Yeah, we spent way too much time looking for Aunt Ilia," Leandra agreed.

"Well then we don't have time to waste, follow me!" Blake called out to her kids as she took off in a dead sprint, a sprint that was quickly matched by the twins.

- - - - - -

And that was how Sun Wukong found himself standing on a dock with a bound and gagged stranger.

"Uhhh... So that just happened," Sun began.

Ilia made a grunting noise that might have been agreement. Sun frowned as he walked up to her and removed her White Fang mask, tossing the bone-white identity concealer into the water. He was met with the beautiful face of a very ticked off girl.

"You're really part of the White Fang, right?" Sun asked.

Ilia growled a response Sun had a much easier time interpreting now that he could see her eyes.

"Cool cool, If I untie you will you hurt me?"

Ilia snarled.

"Alright so untying you is a bad idea," Sun muttered.

Ilia's eyes widened as she realized her mistake.

"And I can't just leave you here," Sun mused to himself. After a moment to think he addressed Ilia directly, "Alright, I'm going to carry you to the nurse's office. If anyone asks we'll say I found you like this, which is technically true, and I'm taking you to the nurse because I don't know how to untie these knots. Sound good? Good."

With that Sun lifted the bound and gaged woman in a bridal carry and set off towards Beacon's main campus. As the beautiful woman completely at his mercy squirmed in his grip Sun found himself thinking: Gods, I really hope this doesn't awaken anything within me.

As Ilia found herself unable to do anything other than squirm against the chiseled muscles of a man who was being very, very gentle with her she started to turn into an interesting shade of pink while thinking: Brothers of Light and Darkness, is this awakening something within me?
 
Yang and Xia
Sift Green

Yang Xiao-Long yawned and stretched her arms up over her head. The early morning sun was up on this beautiful weekend, and she fully intended to get in a good jog before the start of her day. She set off on her usual track. She could see Jaune Arc jogging as well, and let herself smirk a bit.

VB's got the spirit, if nothing else, she thought, as the blond jogged on the other side of the quad. He waved at her briefly, and she returned it. Good on him.

She made it down to the Ruin Gardens just outside the main grounds... When what appeared to be a comet of burning yellow aura slammed right into the ground in front of her. She stood her ground and held up her arms to protect herself, and summoned up her Aura.

"What the hell-?!"

The aura and dust cleared. A girl stood there, about her age if not a bit younger. She was taller, curvy, and dressed in a black skirt, white tank top, boots, fighting gloves, and a blue and white jacket. Her long blonde hair was in a pony tail and her blue eyes glowed briefly.

"Uh... Hey?" Yang managed. "Nice of you to drop in."

The girl groaned.

"Ohhh geez, you're just as bad now," she moaned. She shook her head. "Okay, look. We don't have a lot of time, which is an actual joke once I tell you the rest."

"Hey! I am not bad at jokes!" Yang defended herself. "Who the hell are you, anyway?"

"Ugggghhh," the girl groaned. "Okay look: I'm your daughter Xia. From the future."

Yang blinked. She blinked again.

"I uh... Wait, what?!"

"I time traveled here by accident thanks to my friend Moses' Semblance, a lot of my half-siblings from different timelines showed up, long story short, if you don't get with my dad today, me and my siblings will cease to exist!" Xia held out her hand to Yang. "Please Mom, I know it sounds crazy, but if you don't do something, namely my dad, I'm a goner!"

Yang blinked a few more times. She snickered.

"Okay, who put you up to this? Ruby? Blake? This sounds demented enough to-"

"Your bio mom Raven abandoned you when you were two," Xia stated, eyes gazing into Yang's, "And then Granny Summer died on a mission after raising you and Aunt Ruby. She's your real mom to you and always will be. That's why you named me Xia, it's Mistralian for 'summer.'"

Yang again laughed, but angrily. She held up a fist.

"This is really getting a bit personal-"

"Uncle Qrow let you have some vodka when you were ten!" She went on. "You swore off the stuff after it made you throw up! But you get strawberry sunrises and other drinks like that!"

Yang's fists shook. She stared in disbelief.

"I... How could you-?"

"And you fell in love with Dad when he swore he would never abandon you," Xia went on, "And you knew he was telling the truth because you could always tell when he lied. And he never lied to you. Not ever!"

Yang slowly shook her head.

"N-Next... Next you'll tell me I marry Jaune Arc and he's your dad," Yang joked.

Xia nodded. Yang gaped.

"WHAT?!"

"That's right, Mom," Xia said, "That's my dad. That's your husband. Look!"

She pulled out a photo and unfolded it. She held it up to Yang.

"See? That's you, that's me, that's Dad-!"

Yang did see. And I still look so damn hot?! Yang thought to herself. That older version of herself in the purple bikini had even more amazing tits, and abs you could grind meat on! Older Jaune held her with one arm, and she had her other arm wrapped around his waist.

And Jaune... Holy shit, was that what Vomit Boy was going to look like in a few years?! Built like a brick shithouse! He was tall, with a beard and everything! He was bare-chested, wearing just blue swimming trunks, with abs sculpted by a chisel!

Mama like. Mama SO very like, went her brain.

She also saw Xia... And a LOT of other kids besides her. Boys and girls, all with similar features.

"Is that... Nine kids...?" Yang asked, a bit faint.

Xia nodded cheerfully.

"Yup! Well, ten. This is just before you found out you were pregnant again!"

"Again?!" Yang squeaked. Xia nodded.

"Yup! I know it sounds crazy, and you probably still don't believe me, but if you don't go on a date with Dad today, this future and me? We'll cease to exist and you might end up as some-some lonely biker lesbian with a cat or something!"

The girl's eyes... That fear. That loneliness. That desperation. She'd seen it before, in the mirror.

If Yang did become a mother, she had wondered what kind of mother she would be. Would she quit and run off like Raven? Or would she stay, and be a mother even to a child that wasn't hers but still loved anyway?

"Please Mom, help me! I don't know what else I can do to convince you-!"

Yang took the photo, and calmly tucked it between her breasts. She then reached out, and grabbed Xia's hand.

"Come on, Xia! Your Daddy's waiting!"

Xia stared at her in shock for a moment... Then she blinked away tears.


"YES!" Xia cheered. "I-I mean, not that you'd ever do anything less!"

"Damn right!" Yang laughed.

If it comes down to being like Raven or like Mom? I know what I'll choose, every time, Yang thought happily.

Besides, I ain't ending up as some lesbian biker living with a cat!

Elsewhere, Blake sneezed.

- - -
 
"Yup! I know it sounds crazy, and you probably still don't believe me, but if you don't go on a date with Dad today, this future and me? We'll cease to exist and you might end up as some-some lonely biker lesbian with a cat or something!"

The girl's eyes... That fear. That loneliness. That desperation. She'd seen it before, in the mirror.

Truly, the worst pawsible timeline! :V
 
Emerald and Amethyst
By Sift Green
- - - - - -

All in all? Mercury Black was having a good day. He got a solid eight hours of sleep, the mountings for his prosthetic legs weren't itching at all and the academy's cafeteria served some really good omelets for breakfast. To top it all off the Queen Bitch, Cinder Fall, had woken up on the right side of the bed this morning so all the subtle put downs normally sent his way hadn't been, and Emerald's fawning over the Queen Bitch had been significantly more tolerable as a result.

Then things took a sudden turn for the worst in the most mind bending way Mercury had never imagined.

Mercury had been at his desk, doodling an upgrade for the boots he wore over his prosthetics on a sheet of graph paper. Cinder was at her vanity making calculated adjustments to her makeup. Emerald was sitting on her bed flipping through her scroll in an effort to keep the team abreast of the latest news and gossip. It was a rare moment of simple peace for a group that usually intended nothing related to that concept.

Then the door to the dorm slammed open and immediately slammed shut. Mercury spared a glance in that direction expecting the return of Neopolitan, and he found himself doing a double take because the kid standing in front of the closed door looked nothing like the ice cream girl's current disguise. The kid looked a lot like a younger Emerald, but with somewhat lighter skin and with hair that was obviously dyed purple. The girl's eyes roamed over the room in an unfocused state until they locked on Em, at which point the kid launched her self forward while sobbing "MOM!"

That accusation of maternity froze Emerald in place as the sobbing child slammed into her with enough force to lay her out across the bedspread. Well honed survival instincts then forced the dark skinned thief to move out of that prone position into an 'edge of her seat' position on the corner of the bed. Yet in spite of these movements Emerald failed to dislodge the kid, and for reasons beyond Emerald's comprehension she started clinging back almost as hard as the child was.

"Who? What? Who? How?" It was an eloquent response from the thief. Mercury gave it an 11/10.

"Ma-ah-ah-om," the girl sobbed as if it was painful that Emerald didn't recognize her, "I, I'm Am-am-ethyst."

Emerald felt something inside her freeze with that name. In her wildest fantasies where Cinder knew about her feelings and they lived a life of luxury together she would imagine them adopting kids with troubled backgrounds like theirs. She had imagined a whole daycare of children she and Cinder saved from the streets and given new names matching her own jewelry theme, starting with a girl named Amethyst. Emerald felt her tongue become as lead, leaving her unable to speak.

Amethyst apparently took the silence as an invitation to continue, because she blubbered on, "My-my friend Mo-Moses has a Time, Time Travel sem-semb-lance, and, and we were wonder-ering if he could take o-other pe-ople wi-with him. Then things we-ent wrong and, and we, we went too far back and now, now I'm going to Diiiieee!"

While the mention of a Time Traveling semblance might cause disbelief in most situations Mercury found himself believing it. He had seen enough weird crap in his short life for time travel to not seem that far out their, and time travel made a lot more sense than a kid trying to con Em by pretending to be Em's kid.

On Emerald's part the mention of time travel caused everything to slide into place. The strange feeling of familiarity she felt with this girl was because the girl was by some miracle genuinely the flesh of her flesh, the bones of her bones. Emerald felt her tongue become loose, and she did her best to console her child.

"Mommy's got you my shining gemstone," Emerald murmured into Amethyst's hair, tears threatening to spill from the corner's of her eyes. "Mommy's got you. Tell me what's wrong and we'll fix it. We'll fix it."

"We, we. This is, be-before you and, and dad got together," Amethyst cried, and that was all the explanation Mercury needed; he had seen the time traveling movie where the main character accidentally made their parent's break up. Then Amethyst continued, "So-so Moses-es ended, ended up pul-ul-ling, pull-ing every, every other eldest kid Da-dad could have, have had with, oth-other wo-women he could-could have married instead of yoooooouuuuu!" And that was a twist Mercury didn't see coming. He could see why the kid was upset; imagining your parents in a different relationship was only fun if one of your parents was a bastard, like his own pops. But Amethyst didn't stop there; "And-and they're all, all stronger, and-and braver, and-and better than me! And they're all, all trying to get, get dad with, with their moms, and, AND I'M NEVER GONA BE BORN! I'm gOnA DiE-iE-iE before i'm even boooorrrrrnnnn!"

Dude. That was some heavy shit. Mercury leaned back in his seat and let out a slow, silent breath.

Emerald's grip tightened around Amethyst. She had know about her daughter for all of five minutes and she could already feel her slipping away. At that moment every bit of steel Emerald had within her settled within her spine. There was an obvious way to protect her shining gemstone, and Emerald spoke the words that would change the corse of her life:

"Then we just need to get to your father before anyone else does." Emerald nodded decisively as she adjusted her grip on Amethyst. The girl was a little large to want to cary, but getting ready to do so felt right. "What's your daddy's name?"

"Juane," Amethyst sniffled, "Juane Arc."

Surprise ran through Emerald's mind, and yet the surprise wasn't exactly unpleasant. She had spied a bit on Juane for Cinder, and he was attractive for a boy. He was naive and rough around the edges but he did have some real potential. Potential Cinder planned to cut short, but surly her mistress could make a few adjustments and-

"I. Thought. You. Liked. ME. Emerald."

Mercury felt his blood run cold at Cinder Fall's venomous tone. His eyes flicked over to her vanity to see the Queen Bitch looking over her shoulder at Em with the most intense gaze he had ever seen on the Bitch's face. She slowly turned in her seat without moving her head like some kind of demonic owl.

Mercury got up and slowly made his way to the door as quietly as he could possibly manage.

The raw hostility in Cinder's tone drove a wrench into the gears of Emerald's thoughts, and Amethyst froze like a rabbit under the gaze of a hawk.

"I. Thought. You. Were. In. Love. With. ME." Cinder hissed like a viper. "I. Thought. Your. Loyalty. Was. Unquestionable. You've spent years working to get into my good graces, years lapping at every shred of affection I've gifted you, all with some vague hope that I'd bring you into MY arms and MY bed. And now some phantasmal possibility made flesh throws itself at you and it makes you question your relationship with ME?"

New shocks forced their way through Emerald's system. A large part of her had always deluded herself into thinking that the only reason Cinder was so cold and distant was because Cinder was unaware of her feelings. But to know without a doubt that Cinder had been aware the whole time and was still so cold, distant, and sometimes subtly cruel? Something in Emerald's heart was tearing.

"And to think you'd be tempted to turn your back on MY plans, on ME, for what?" Cinder growled like a blasting furnace. "A weak Looser giving you a weak and pathetic child who can't take care of herself? Who can't defend her own pathetic life? That's what makes you reconsider your relationship with ME?"

Cinder stretched forth her hand, conjuring a knife of glass in the air within Emerald's reach. "Take. It. Take it and prove your willing to Cut. Out. The. Weakness. That. Would. Take. You. From. ME."

Emerald's grip on her daughter tightened. She couldn't even look at the knife.

"So. Be. It." Cinder stood up from her vanity, bringing the knife to her own hand and enveloping it in flame, "Prepare to die, Traitor."

Mercury threw the dorm room door open: "RUN EMERALD! RUN!"

Those words broke Emerald out of her mental gridlock, and she sprung forward with all the speed her aura enhance legs could muster, heaving Amethyst onto her shoulder so she could efficiently run with her child. A split second after she stated moving the burning glass knife struck the bed where she had been sitting, engulfing the furniture in flames.

Emerald tore from the room with her heart thundering in her ears. The hallways were dangerous, too enclosed. She needed room to maneuver. A courtyard would have enough space to not get instantly fried by a fireball. She needed to get to a courtyard.

She ran.

Cinder Fall burst out of the dorm room a moment later, knocking Mercury to the ground in the process. Cinder tore through the hallways with tears made of flame running down her face. "GET BACK HERE YOU LYING WHORE! I'LL BOIL YOUR BLOOD! I'LL COOK YOUR MARROW! I'LL TEACH YOU FOR TRICKING ME INTO THINKING YOU LOVED ME! DIE! DIE! DIE!"

- - - - - -

Back in the dorm room Mercury tried to sit up and take stock of the situation. His flesh seemed unburnt. His left leg prosthetic was slagged though, so getting anywhere would be a drag. Emerald's bed was on fire, so that meant... yep there was the fire suppression system kicking in. Now he was stuck on the ground and he was soaking wet. At least there wasn't anymore fire.

"SON OF A- ugh! FOR THE LOVE OF- hrrrrnn! AND TODAY STARTED OFF SO WELL!"
 
Pyrrha and Xander
- - - - - -

It wasn't as though Pyrrha was expecting anything unusual to happen today. Just her standard Saturday routine: Do some training, join her team for breakfast, then some relaxation time. Nora had been pestering her for the last month to just ask Jaune out, and as tempting as it was...

She just couldn't muster the courage to do it. This feeling of cowardice made her frown as she jogged on the treadmill in the school gym.

She wanted so badly to just be honest, but... The prospect of rejection froze her to her very core. How could she make him understand that she'd fallen for him at first sight? Even someone as socially inexperienced as her realized that it would sound crazy. She had lived most of her life wearing masks, concealing her true feelings. It had been vital for survival and success, but now?

It paralyzed her with fear at someone seeing the real her. Especially Jaune.

Ha... The Invincible Girl, afraid of being rejected by the one she loves, she thought with a mental sigh, It would be funny if it wasn't so sad...

After finishing a workout that would kill an Atlasian Specialist (her daily routine), Pyrrha went to the showers, washed up, and emerged in her school uniform. She paused as she entered the hallway, and frowned.

Wait... That's another electromagnetic field powered by Aura... Why am I feeling another-?

"Hello Mother."

Pyrrha started and turned around. Her jaw dropped. The young man before her was... Was tall. Redhaired, with deep blue eyes, aristocratic cheekbones, and a pointed chin. He wore armor similar to hers, but with segmented plating under strong pauldrons. A red cape hung from his shoulders, and a leather band was around his head under his short hair. A Clipueis shield was on his back, while a mechashift Spatha hung from his belt. His walk was confident, but not arrogant-Almost painfully familiar.

Pyrrha blinked a few times. Her mind went to the most likely possibility for this unusual young man to be standing before her calling her mother.

It was a fairly short list, after all.

"Um... I have run into stalkers before, so, I'm sorry but I can't be your-" Pyrrha began, as politely as she could. The young man shook his head and groaned. He held up a hand to his face, and calmed himself before he spoke again.

"Ugh, no, I'm not a stalker. I'm..." He sighed again, and looked right into her eyes.

"Okay... You told me that you fell in love with Dad from the moment you pinned him to a tree in the Emerald Forest during your Initiation. Is that true, or false?"

Pyrrha's jaw dropped. Her face went bright red.

"I-You-What do you-?!"

"I know this is going to sound crazy, but I'm your son Xander," he introduced himself, "I'm from the future. My best friend, Moses, has a time travel Semblance. We accidentally got sent back in time... To the day of your first date with Dad. Jaune Arc."

Pyrrha continued to stare in shock. Xander bowed his head.

"I know how it sounds. This-This isn't a scam. and I know it's a lot to take in, but..."

"Eeeeeeeeeee...!"

Xander started and gaped at her.

"Mom?"

Pyrrha's shock slowly turned... Into an ascendant joy.

She grinned happily, her eyes lit up, and her soul seemed to fly!

Her keen mind rationalized that this was too insane to be a scam of some sort, and who would know of when she fell for Jaune but her own son? She would tell her children the story, over and over, with their father, her Jaune, her Jaune, alongside! Share with them all the love and affection she was denied in her life, and make sure her children knew they were the product of true love!

She hugged her tall son, and it felt like the most natural thing in the world. She beamed up at him, and relief flooded his face.

"I believe you," she said. Xander grinned and hugged her back.

"Thanks Mom... Thank you... That means everything. Though uh... We might have a problem. I mean, along with the date-"

"What problem?" Pyrrha asked, maternal concern emerging in her heart as naturally as breathing. Xander winced.

"Um... Basically, if you don't go on that date, I will never be born. And uh... I've got a lot of temporal half-siblings. Other kids from other timelines where Dad... Didn't marry you."

Pyrrha's jade eyes narrowed.

"What."

"I-I mean, if I'm the destined son of Jaune Arc, then you know, it doesn't matter, but they're all going to try to hook Dad up with their mothers to-"

"What."

Xander cringed as Pyrrha's face became grim. Oh, she could be a scary mother. Good to know. She hoped she would be loving but also able to command respect and fear when necessary. Mostly love! But also fear where required. She wasn't going to raise her kids like her mother did!

"Um, yeah, so they might be gunning for Dad and then my siblings and I will never exist-"

"What."

Pyrrha pulled out her Scroll and summoned her locker. The rocket locker flew in through the open archways. The moment it was in range, she yanked it down to the floor so hard it left a crater in the tiles. She yanked out her gear and got dressed in no time. She swung back around, Milo and Akuo in her hands. She didn't pay any mind to Xander's embarrassed blush.

"M-Mom, did you have to change in the middle of the-?"

"Yes," Pyrrha said, slamming her shield and sword together hard enough for sparks to fly off them, "Nobody's erasing my baby from existence. Let's find your father!"

Xander grinned in relief, and it filled her heart with song.

"Thank you Mom... That means everything to me."

"This means everything to me too, son," Pyrrha said. Her serious countenance broke for a moment.

"Just... Out of curiosity, how many children do your father and I have?"

Xander smiled.

"Uh... Nine? I think you were trying for a tenth when I left but-"

"Eeeeeeeeeeee!"

Xander stared at his mom. Pyrrha coughed and shook her head. The excited teenaged girl retreated... And the Spartan warrior emerged.
"Come on son... We're getting my man."


- - - - - -
 
Last edited:
Damn it man. You've set me off on a hunt for good crack fics. Do you know how tiresome that is when crack fics almost never get finished?! Extremely!

damn I need these laughs. Fuck does ao3 have a crack tag? I'mma go find out. Keep up the good work.

edit they do have a crack fic tag. Somehow none of these sound funny though. Why do none of these sound funny?
 
Last edited:
Weiss and Nicholas
- - -

Weiss Schnee prided herself on her punctuality and sense of timing. Her routine was so exact, she could time it herself with an internal clock. Get up at six AM, finish morning rituals at six-forty five, go work out until seven fifty-five, shower, dress, then return to the dorm at eight thirty sharp for her morning tea.

A morning tea that had already been prepared. Even from the dorm room door, she could smell the characteristic scent of Klein's special brand of Darjeeling, and how it had been prepared. She could also see her favorite cookies (biscuits, as Klein would call them in his Albion accent) in a neat pile on a plate. She frowned deeply, and moved towards the spread with Myrtenaster at the ready.

"Yang? If this is one of your pranks, I swear to the Gods I will-!"

A Schnee Glyph appeared behind her, sealing the door. She gasped and scanned around.

A glyph... But I don't recognize it... Who-?

"I hope you like the spread," a male voice spoke. Weiss turned and glared at the newcomer, who emerged from the RWBY bathroom. A tall, platinum blond young man, dressed in blue, white, and red combat armor. Strangely, it reminded her of Arc's armor, save for the long white coat he wore over it. He also wore his collar high, high enough to hide his mouth and nose.

Weiss' glare intensified. The boy's body language was... Hesitant. Yet familiar. He looked at her intently, as though seeing someone else.

"Who are you?" She demanded. The boy sighed softly.

"Isn't it obvious?" he asked, "You're not a dolt, right?"

"Insulting my intelligence is a hell of a way to make a first impression!" Weiss growled, her own Glyph spinning in front of her.

The boy winced at that. So much so that Weiss hesitated. He was an intruder with Schnee Glyphs, a Semblance that was only available to those of the Schnee bloodline... He looked so strangely familiar... Almost like Uncle Warden, actually, but his eyes and nose were wrong...

"Are you... A relative of mine?" Weiss asked, a bit softer in tone this time.

The boy... Laughed strangely. He nodded.

"Yes, you could say that," he said. He nodded to the spread. "I had hoped using Uncle Klein's recipe and the Glyph would be enough, but... I guess your life isn't insane enough at this point to contemplate... Time travel."

Weiss stared in shock. She fell back and sat down on a chair roughly, dropping her weapon and her Glyph. She gaped at him.

"T-Time travel?" She whispered. The boy nodded.

"My name is Nicholas Warden Schnee," he murmured, "I was named for your grandfather, your father-in-law, and your favorite uncle. I will never call that old bastard Jacques my grandfather. I'm from the future."

"I... I see," Weiss managed. Inside she was a roiling torrent of emotions-Fear, shock, astonishment...

He smiled warmly at her.

"You found love in the end, Mother," Nicholas said gently, "You found happiness. My father is a great man, a kind man. He helped you reform the SDC, he made Schnee Manor into a place of warmth, cheer, and love. I love you both dearly and have never wanted for anything. Our family is huge and wonderful. It's not perfect, but..."

He pulled out a locket and held it out to her.

"I have never felt unloved or neglected," Nicholas said softly, "Because you and Dad made sure we knew we were precious to you."

He handed her the locket, and she took it with shaky hands as she opened it. A holographic image appeared: An older version of herself, with slight lines around her eyes from smiles. And what a smile her older self wore! It wasn't forced at all, it was truly open and happy!

(She was also secretly pleased she'd grown some curves-She was voluptuous and fit and beautiful in her later years! Take THAT, Xiao-Long!)

Her eyes bugged out a little at the huge number of children around her and her future husband.

"T-T-Ten?!" She gasped.

"My Father said it runs in his family," Nicholas said with a small smile.

It was then that Weiss studied the face of her future husband. He was handsome, absolutely. Tall, fit, with a beard and kind eyes. He held her around her waist with genuine love his eyes, a love her future self returned. Strangely, he almost looked like...

"No," Weiss whispered. She dropped the locket like it was burning hot and scooted back. "NO! I-I can't-I marry JAUNE ARC?!"

Nicholas barely caught the locket in time. He stared at his mother in disbelief.

"Uh, yeah," he said, "Jaune Arc is my father-"

"NO WAY!" Weiss shouted. "AS IF I WOULD EVER MARRY THAT-THAT IDIOTIC, GOOFY, GANGLY DOLT! YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME!"

Nicholas blinked.

"Um, no Mother, you really did-"

"NO! NONONONONONO!" Weiss's cheeks heated up. "I-I DON'T HAVE ANY FEELINGS FOR HIM! ESPECIALLY NOT AFTER THE DANCE AND NEPTUNE-NO!"

She rapidly shook her head again.

"Did-Did that idiot put you up to this?!" She demanded. "With-With drugs and-and holograms?!"

"How would he afford those?" Nicholas asked, dismayed, "He was a farmboy from Radian!"

"NOOOOO! I-I do not-I don't believe it!" Weiss cried.

"Mother," Nicholas said urgently, "If you don't go on a date with my father, I'll cease to exist! All my brothers and sisters will cease to exist! You don't want that, do you?"

"NO! I-I mean... Are you sure it's him?" Weiss asked.

Nicholas sighed heavily.

"He told me you were difficult during this time, but he really undersold it," he muttered.

"I AM NOT DIFFICULT!" Weiss screeched. "And-And I don't like him at all! Not one bit!"

Nicholas, with a deadpan expression, opened the locket and showed the hologram again. Weiss' face turned red at the sight of the older Jaune.

"N-NOPE! NO! NOT EVEN A LITTLE!" Weiss declared.

Nicholas sighed again.

"Mother, please," he said, "If you don't succeed, someone like Auntie Pyrrha, Auntie Yang, Auntie Ruby, or Auntie Blake might scoop him up first!"

"WHAT?!" Weiss cried. "They-Those-NO! I-I'm-!"

"Mother!" Nicholas growled. "Mom, please! Just talk to Dad! You'll see what you told us you saw in him, I promise!"

Weiss flushed deeply.

"I... I'll go and talk to him," she managed, "Though I'm sure this is a ridiculous prank... And-And I don't like him and never will!"

Nicholas sighed yet again. This was proof in her mind that this was a charade: No child of hers would be so disrespectful to their mother!

Though maybe that was Arc's influence-NO! NO! THAT WOULD NOT HAPPEN! NOT EVER!
- - -
 
Arslan and Petra
Beneath the shade of a mighty oak tree overlooking Beacon's main campus echoed the voice a young woman singing an ancient psalm in its' original tongue, a dead language known as Ozymandilian that many sacred texts were first written in. With each stanza and verse the woman danced through the various fundamental katas that she had learned durning her study at the Temple of the Broken Table. Her rhythmic movements slowed as the psalm reached its' final verse, and as it ended she smoothly slid into a crosslegged sitting position on a stone she had placed beneath the oak tree beforehand.

With her morning communion with the divine completed, Arslan Altan moved on to more personal meditations.

'The mark of a good friend is that they make it easier for you to be a good person.' So said Guru Kirkpatrick when she informed him of her decision to stop her studies at the Temple and to attend the more secular institution of Sanctum Academy instead. 'The mark of a good rival is similar, they make it easier for you to be a good warrior.'

She had found many good friends at Sanctum, but she had only found one good rival. Pyrrha Nikos was a singular combatant that always pushed Arslan to the absolute limits of her body and soul. The two of them had clashed countless times in the school's combat classes, in the school's tournaments, and as representatives of the school in the Minstral Regional Tournament. As steel sharpening steel the two of them sharpened one another, and they both climbed higher for it...

...Or at least that was what she had thought at the time. It was clear that Pyrrha had not thought the same considering she didn't enroll in Haven nor did she invite Arslan to follow her to Beacon. And now that Arslan was here as an exchange student at Beacon for the lead up to the Vytal Festival Pyrrha had ignored her requests for any formal duels or friendly spars in favor of private training with her team leader Jaune Arc.

And so Arslan was forced to face an unpleasant truth: while Pyrrha had been a good rival for her she had not been a good rival for Pyrrha. This truth was evidenced by the fact that Pyrrha was taking the raw materials that were Jaune Arc and sculpting them into her vision of a perfect warrior.

Had she truly been such a lackluster rival that Pyrrha felt she was better off making a new rival in her own image?

And so she closed her eyes and altered her breathing using techniques she had learned at the Temple meant to help one recall and review old memories with fresh eyes.

Every clash with the Invincible Girl flashed through Arslan's vision. Every punch, every kick, every thrust of her dagger, every swing of her rope dart, every bruise, every sprain, every drop of blood spilt. All of her experiences fighting the redheaded warrior paraded through her mind and were examined from every angle she could conceive. The picture hindsight painted was not pretty.

A little over a hundred clashes, and Arslan was pushed to her limits every single time. Yet she had only pushed Pyrrha to her limits twice, and one of those times had been their very first fight. She had managed to make Pyrrha sweat for her victory in twenty-three of their bouts, and of course she had never won.

With a track record that abysmal it was no wonder that Pyrrha was looking elsewhere for a worthy foe. If someone with that bad of a record had considered her their rival Arslan knew she would have a hard time taking them seriously. It was clear now that the tournament of the Vytal Festival was her last chance to prove herself to the Invincible Girl, her last chance to prove that she was a good rival. If she failed she would need to find another worthy foe.

But if not Pyrrha, who? No one else came close to the champion, and she had climbed so high in her efforts to reach her... It was like she was a lonely mountain's peak, separated from the surrounding lands while trying to catch the moon.

With that sobering thought Arslan opened her eyes, and was surprised by the sight before her.

A younger woman who also wore the garb afforded to someone who had studied at the Temple of the Broken Table sat before her on the grass in a similar meditative pose to her own. The girls face looked similar to the face Arslan saw in the mirror every morning, though her skin was a few shades lighter and her hair several feet longer while being tied into a braid that hung over her left shoulder. A cousin she had never properly met? That was a likely possibility. Her great-great-grandfather had taken the commandment from the holy books of 'Be fruitful and multiply' very, very seriously.

The younger woman held her hands in front of herself in the sign of The Table, and then with a flourish changed them into the sign of The Broken Table.

"My Guru," The young woman spoke, not in the modern tongues of Minstral or Vale, but in the dead languages taught in the Temple, "I am Petra, initiate of The Temple of the Broken Table. I seek your wisdom in my time of trial."

"I am Arslan, First Degree Stone Breaker," She replied in kind as she stiffened her spine. She had never acted as someone's spiritual guide before, but as the senior member of The Order present her duty was clear. It was time to see what she could learn as she taught. "I will freely share the truths that I know."

"What is truth? And why do so few find it?" Petra began her questions with a doozy; something that should be simple and yet people felt this compulsion to make it more complicated than it was.

"Truth," Arslan began, "Is a knowledge of how things really are, how they really were, and how they really will be. So few people find it because truth is as uncompromising as the sky; so when the sun shines too brightly, or the stars move in ways unpleasant to behold they seek to place clouds between themselves and the truth."

"If one finds oneself in a land completely overcast the clouds become the sky," Petra pressed on, "And the people of the land will act accordingly."

"Though clouds cover the whole sky, the Sun, Moon and Stars remain unchanged behind them," Arslan explained. "Such is the nature of truth. Though it may be obscured by the philosophies and conveniences of the day it remains unchanged by them, and it will outlast them. Clouds cannot hide the Sun and Stars forever, for the Sun and Stars will persist long after the storm is a forgotten memory."

"Then tell me, my Guru, how should one act during the day of obscurement?"

"As one who has seen the Sun and the Stars you must not forget how they shined in the sky," Arslan instructed. "For forgotten truths cannot guide you through the storm."

A moment of silence passed between the two, with Petra deep in thought. Part of Arslan felt she should wait for Petra to fully mull things over and present her next question, but the rest of her was curious and figured asking a question of her own could help her better help her impromptu student.

And so Arslan inquired, "What trial do you face that makes you ask these questions?"

"My Guru, I must convince you of a truth that would appear as a falsehood at first with only the evidence I have in my mind," Petra answered. "For my scroll is not with me, and all else I cary will mean nothing to you."

"Interesting..." Arslan mused, "Then tell me of this truth that appears false, that we may discuss what you would need to share to prove if it is of the sky or of the clouds."

"I believe that you believe I am a cousin of yours," Petra began, "Yet I am not. I am the fruit of your field's first harvest, fallen through a hole in time to an era before my father sowed my seed. If I fail to convince you of this, and you fail to secure my father's hand in marriage my life is forfeit, for the day of my birth will never come."

Arslan felt her eyebrows rise to a hight they had never risen too before. That... was defiantly hard to believe, especially without physical proof. Still, there were ways...

"Is there something known in the time you claim to come from that isn't known now, but can be proven now?"

"Is the nature of Pyrrha Nikos' semblance common knowledge in this time?"

"It is not..." If Arslan thought her eyebrows couldn't rise higher they proved her wrong that very instant.

"Pyrrha calls her semblance Polarity," Petra explained "It's most basic application allows her to become a living magnet, allowing her to attract or repel any mettle she wishes."

Arslan brought her hand to her chin. That... that made waaaay too much sense. Hindsight told her that she had never landed a hit on Pyrrha with her Dagger/Rope Dart. Every attack that had connected with the Invincible Girl had been made with her feet or fists. However, even those hits were few and far between, so how...

"Another basic application of Polarity allows her to sense the metal around her, letting her know where attacks are coming from. I'm unsure how refined this ability is right now, but in my time she can sense the iron in your blood."

That... that also made sense. She might not be consciously doing the blood thing yet, but Pyrrha had defiantly dodged punches she shouldn't have seen coming.

"She can also control the metal around her in a manner that looks telekinetic, something I know she has practiced but has not yet been forced to use in a way that can be seen."

Manny things were falling into place. How Pyrrha was able to keep track of everyone in a four vs one. How challengers who normally had solid stances slipped against Pyrrha because they were wearing metal boots or leg guards. How weapon strikes that should have been solid hits never connected.

If this was true than Arslan was still the lone mountain peak that had stretched into the sky to touch the Moon...

...But Pyrrha was no longer the Moon. Her invincibility was tied to her semblance, and there were ways she could work around that. She could have a fair fight and prove her worth as a rival...

...If it was true. This still needed to be proven... so another question was warranted.

"Are there no witnesses that could corroborate your story, did anyone see you fall through time?"

"Nobody saw me fall, but I did not fall alone," Petra answered. "There were fourteen of us. First is my friend Moses, who's semblance allowed the fall in the first place. The rest are all children of my father, from different times where you are not the mother. Not all of them chose to name their mothers, but among those who did were Julian son of The Reaper, Ruby Rose; Leander and Leandra children of Menagerie's Queen, Blake Belladonna; Xia daughter of the Raging Dragon, Yang Xiao Long; Xander son of the Invincible Woman, Pyrrha Nikos; and Nicholas son of Weiss Schnee."

Those were all pretty impressive titles for her fellow students. Which of course lead to the question: "Who is your father, that so many worthy women take notice of him?"

"My father, your husband, is Jaune Arc."

The raw clay Pyrrha sought to mould into her own image. If what Petra was saying was true then the man had enough potential for Pyrrha to succeed in that endeavor. That was defiantly an appealing thought.

It also meant that it didn't matter if it was sky or cloud; Pyrrha would believe what this Xander told her, meaning Pyrrha would hold nothing back if she tried to fight her for Jaune's hand. The prospect of fighting Pyrrha at her most dangerous was daunting, especially since she had never beaten the girl before...

Yet if what Petra said was true then the affections of Jaune Arc was worth any challenge. Arslan was defiantly interested in getting to know a man like that.

Arslan stood up, and extended a hand to Petra. Then she spoke, not in Ozymandilian, but in the modern and far less formal language of Vale.

"I don't know if you're my daughter, or if Jaune Arc is my future husband. But I'm willing to find out. I'm going to have to find a wooden dagger though."

"I have something else that could help," Petra offered, also in the modern language of Vale, as she accepted Arslan's hand and rose to her feet. "There is a technique I can teach you in something like, ten minutes. It uses your Aura to conceal all of the metals naturally found in the body."

Arslan felt a very sinister grin grow across her face. A giggle escaped her lips, which rose into an unhinged cackle that lasted for an embarrassingly long period of time. Why was this making her feel so giddy?

Defiantly something to meditate on later.
 
Just sped throught everything and holy wackamoley this is some grade-A cracked AndrewJTalon. When's the next chapter comin' and who's the next lady? Or are we gonna get a fight between Jaune's bevy of beautiful beaus.

I can only take partial credit, Sift Green originated the idea and has written most of the story so far. I'm just helping him and posting this up as he's got reasons for not being on QQ.
 
May and August
- - -

"Yo, May! Ya got a visitor!"

May sighed as she finished adjusting her hat in the mirror. Honestly, if it wasn't one thing it was another with her team! Officially, Brawnz was supposed to be the leader, but he tended to just put everything on her shoulders.

"Who is it?" She asked.

"No idea!" Brawnz shouted.

"I did tell you my name," a pleasant tenor voice spoke.

"Yeah, which means shit to me!" Brawnz growled. "So unless you wanna get your shit kicked in, I suggest you beat it!"

A pause.

"I really do just need to talk to her, really quick-"

"Tough titties, Skyscraper!"

May winced. That was Brawnz' 'gonna punch something' tone. Which was followed by the sound of flesh hitting flesh and several yelps. She hurried out of the bathroom, an apology on her lips.

"Guys, please don't... Hurt him?"

May blinked. All three of her teammates, Brawnz, Nolan, and Roy, were unconscious on the floor. Standing among them, without so much as a scratch, was a tall, dark skinned young man with yellow blond hair and blue eyes. He was dressed in a simple hoodie, white, blue and black, with black shorts and white boots. She blushed; He was very handsome, and strangely familiar...?

"Sorry," he said, "But you always said I had to use a strong hand with my uncles."

May blinked. She blinked again.

"Ummm... Uncles?" She asked.

The young man blanched and slapped the side of his head.

"Damnit! I wasn't supposed to say that!" He groaned. "I-I mean, not right now... Later... Maybe..." He sighed, and his shoulders slumped. "Look, I wouldn't blame you for wanting to shoot me right now, but I just... Please let me talk for five minutes. Okay? It's really important Mom."

May blushed deep red. She blinked several times.

"M-M-Mom?" She managed, feeling a bit faint.

The boy again slapped the side of his head.

"Crrraaaaappp!"

- - -

May and the young man moved her unconscious teammates to their bunks. They then sat down, and May prepared some coffee. They sat down at the table as Brawnz, Nolan, and Roy all remained out. Brawnz even began to drool so they didn't seem to be in much pain.

"Again, super sorry," he said, "Uh... Okay. First things first: I'm August. I'm named for your-"

"Father?" May asked quietly. August nodded.

"Yeah, I-!"

"There is a reason I have to run my team," she said with a soft smile, "Your b-body language is very honest and earnest. And... Why would anyone lie that they were someone's child from the future, unless it was true?"

August stared, and laughed in relief.

"Oh... Oh man... I still forget how smart you are sometimes, Mom!" He winced. "Er, sorry-"

"It's all right," May said cheerfully. She sipped her coffee. "Besides... I... I've learned to trust my feelings."

The Aura the boy gave off was... Too much like her own to be a fraud. Not unless he had some kind of Aura emulation Semblance, but why use that just for this elaborate of a prank? They'd have to know she could sense them. It's why she was so good at her job. Aura Sensing was a skill she'd had to develop out of sheer survival, and it had always served her well.

Though it also made her very nervous to approach people. How to explain that you felt more comfortable talking to certain people based on how they felt than others? It was... Weird, and so was she.

"So... Um... You got here by time travel, I suppose?" May tried, before wincing. That sounded terrible!

"Yup," August said with a nod, "My best friend Moses has a time travel Semblance. We didn't mean to go back this far, but uh... We kind of super charged it."

"I can tell," May said with a nod, "Your Aura is staggeringly powerful, even inactive!" She beamed at him. "I-I'm very proud of you!"

She paused as August blushed.

"Oh, dear, um, did I say something wrong?" She asked. "Did-Did I embarrass you? Do you need a-a juice box?"

August chuckled fondly.

"No, I'm okay Mom. Also? Too old for those."

"Oh. Um... A beer?" May asked.

"I'm... Fine with coffee, really," August said, sipping the coffee. "But we have a problem. Today... Today is when you were supposed to go on your first date with Dad."

May blinked.

"Eh? I-I went on a date? He-did he ask me? I-I don't think I could ask him..." She began to fret. "Oh no... Oh no... Did I forget our date?!"

She didn't think she would forget something like that! She didn't think she'd make a date though, either!

... Then again, she didn't think she'd be meeting her future son today!

"Who is it with?" She asked.

"Jaune Arc," August said.

May blinked, then her entire face burned bright red.

I would definitely have remembered that...!

"I-I... Isn't he with-with Pyrrha Nikos?" She asked. "Th-They hang out all the time-!"

"Not in my timeline," he said. "Which is the other problem. Other children from my dad have showed up, too. If Dad gets with anyone but you... I mean... Well, I'll cease to exist."

May gasped in horror and reached out to touch her future son. Just to make sure he was still solid.

"Are... Are you happy? Am-Am I good mother?" She asked urgently.

August beamed.

"The best," he said, without a hint of hesitation or deception in his voice or Aura.

With other people, it was difficult to talk to them because their Auras projected so much unsaid. It made her nervous, so nervous she just shrank back. She was good at that, staying in the background. She was a sniper, after all.

But August... He was so earnest, and warm. Honestly, she'd only felt that way around Jaune... Oh. That would explain the getting married and having kids thing easily, wouldn't it?

On the other hand... There was the whole getting married and having kids thing to consider. Also, the other children wouldn't want to be erased, either.

That was unfortunate, but... The only other alternatives didn't seem very likely. All or nothing? She knew other girls, girls like the ones on Team NDGO. They were all catty, nasty, horrible people. They would never share, not even for their children.

But I don't want to share, either, she thought miserably. So she was no better than them...

Still...

"Let's... Let's go see your father then," May said with a firm nod. "M-Maybe if we talk this out... Things will get better?"

And if they didn't, well... She'd bring her sniper rifle along. Just in case.

- - -
 
Plans and Counter Plans
His mother wasn't at Beacon today, she was in an airship conducting a patrol on the other side of Vale and she wouldn't return until late in the evening. This put him at a severe disadvantage when compared to his competition, but that didn't matter: He was the son of Atlas' greatest general and her greatest strategist. He just needed to deny his enemies victory long enough for her to return.

To that end Theodore had tucked himself away in a barely noticeable corner of the library where his scroll had good reception. His mission? Hack his Father's scroll and change his Father's schedule so he wouldn't be anywhere near the women who would soon be looking for him. The question of where to send his father wasn't clear yet, but once he had a good look at what else his father was doing today he should have a decent idea of what to do.

Waiting for a connection... Thinking long and hard about the right password... wrong password... Thinking long and hard about the right password... wrong password... Thinking long and hard about the right password... GOT IT!

Opening the schedule program, slightly surprised the schedule program didn't hav its' own password but whatever. Navigating to today and... oh no.

His father's schedule consisted of waking up, having breakfast, a morning workout and then nothing. Nothing until a singular event labeled 'PARTY?' after 7:30 pm.

The startling realization that his Father's strict adherence to a schedule was a result of his mother's influence was a little disheartening, as this meant his plans needed a serous overhaul.

But still, the mission objectives remained the same. He just needed to find his father and come up with a reasonable excuse for why he needed to stay away from campus until the party started and to not show up at the party until the authorities were called in to put a stop to it! Then he'd meet Theodore's mother and everything will be right in the world!

Theodore packed up his equipment, activated the 'find me' feature of his father's scroll, and moved out.

--------------------

Within Beacon's armory a set of twins talked shop.

"You think we can hit Pyrrha with this Laser Bazooka, or should I grab that wooden stake launcher?" Ash asked as he hefted the aforementioned Laser Bazooka.

"Bring both just in case," Ashley answered as she mused over he own haul. "Let's see, a recoilless rifle to bust through any glyphs the Schnees could use as shields is a good find, plus all the different dust rounds that can go in it. Is there something here that can disorient a faunus?"

"Honestly I'm more worried about robots, is there anything here that can do an EMP?"

"Would that tesla coil work?"

"Too risky; what if Aunt Nora decides to interfere on the side of someone who's not mom?"

"Right, that would be bad. Have either of us looked in that room yet?"

"I don't think we have."

They looked. Ashely grinned.

"Wanna pilot a mech?"

"No." Ash frowned as he pulled his sister back to the previous room, "No mechs. All of our targets are too maneuverable to fight with a mech."

"Spoilsport."

--------------------

'Tactile Telekinesis is a stupid power! You can move things with your mind but only if you're touching them! Laaaame!' That schoolyard taunt ran through Dorothy's mind every time she used her power for the thing that made those bullies shut up. You're always touching your clothes, so by using tactile telekinesis on your shoes you can fly!

Of course the normal thrill of flight was significantly hampered by the fact that she hadn't caught anyone! She could fly! She should have been faster than anyone besides Julian and his busted semblance!

Yet somehow all of them disappeared after they left the dining hall at the campground, and she couldn't find any of them!

Now one would think having a bird's eye view of the Academy would help her, but what most people don't realize is that a bird's eye view requires bird's eyes if you want to see anything clearly on the ground. Her binoculars were proving to be a poor substitute.

She was beginning to despair when she finally spotted one of the Schnee looking boys leaving the main library. And so Dorothy zoomed down as fast as she could and came to a stop in front of the boy while bellowing:

"THEODORE! YOU'RE COMING WITH ME!"

"Hello Dorothy," Theodore calmly replied, "I believe you and I have a common cause at this point."

"No, you're going to help me find the others, and we're going to regroup back at the camp and wait for-"

"Moses' plan fell apart the instant the cats managed to slip out of the room and you know it," Theodore interrupted. "By this point at least one of our step-siblings have found their mom, and that means they'll be bringing their moms straight to Dad, thereby circumventing the party that resulted in Dad dating his wife. My mom started dating Dad because she put a stop to that party once it got out of hand, and I'm betting the same is true for your mom, right?"

"R-right," Dorothy deflated a bit.

"And that means the best bet for you and for me is to make sure nobody finds Dad before the party starts," Theodore reasoned, "We can let fate pick up the slack at that point."

Dorothy hissed in frustration. Theodore was right. Her best bet was to be on his side now. Sorry Moses. Sorry Xander.

"Well then. Let's go find Dad." Dorothy growled as she gestured for Theodore to lead the way.
 
Jaune is Deceived by his Children
- - - - - -

Jaune sighed as he exited the locker room. Hot showers after a workout always made him feel better. Nora had been especially rough today-She seemed part trainer, part taskmaster, and all sadist.

Still, he could hardly argue with the results. Training with Pyrrha, Nora, and Ren had certainly gotten him up to snuff in a hurry. Suggestions from Team RWBY had also been accepted.

He winced.

Though learning hand-to-hand combat from Yang was probably something he shouldn't do too much. He still ached, days afterward.

He'd stepped out into the fresh air of the campus, a smile on his face.

He held up his Scroll, about to mass-text his friends and see if anyone was free... When someone bumped into him.

"GAH!"

Hard enough his Scroll went flying. His heart sank as he watched it fall towards the ground... Only for a small red Glyph to materialize underneath it. The Scroll vanished.

"Eh?!"

He looked around and stared. A tall, messy-haired platinum blond boy about his age, stood nearby with his Scroll in his hand. He reminded Jaune of Weiss, strangely enough, though his eyes and nose were very different. He wore a black and white coat over light Atlasian style body armor. A pair of dark sunglasses were perched on his nose.

Next to him was a very pretty blonde girl in a red and white blouse, blue jacket, and purple pants with black boots. She looked a lot like the boy around the face, though her eyes were bright green. She had a pair of goggles on the top of her head, with angel wing motifs on them. She grinned and waved at him.

"Hey D-Dude!" She said in a bright, cheerful tone.

"You dropped this," the boy stated in a cool, dispassionate voice. Jaune walked over, smiling in gratitude as he took it.

"Thanks! I really appreciate it. I'm Jaune Arc, what are your names?"

"Theodore... Schnee," the boy spoke calmly.

That might explain the iciness, Jaune thought.

"Dorothy, er... Goodwitch!" The girl greeted.

Jaune blinked.

"So, you're relatives of Weiss and Professor Goodwitch?"

"Yes/No!"

The two looked at one another, and seemed to have some kind of silent conversation. Dorothy turned back first with a slightly strained smile.

"Kind of!" She said. "We're also siblings... Kind of! It's uh... Complicated!"

Jaune slowly nodded, taking it in stride.

"If it's awkward, it's cool, you don't have to tell me," he said, "We did just meet." He smiled.

"Though my dad says strangers are friends you just haven't met yet, so... I hope we can be friends."

"Our dad says the same thing," Theodore said.

"Haha! Irony!" Dorothy said.

Jaune blinked.

"What's ironic about it-?"

"Anyway!" Dorothy said cheerfully, "You look like you don't have anything going on whatsoever!"

Jaune involuntarily winced. Theodore sucked in a deep breath.

"Er, not that that's a bad thing," Dorothy said quickly. "We uh, we'd love to train with you! If you'd like?"

"Well... Thanks, but with the Vytal Festival coming up," Jaune said, "That's not a good idea."

"We're not participating in the Vytal Festival," Theodore said calmly.

"Yeah, that would just be a... A terrible mess," Dorothy went on, still cheerfully but with a weird wince.

"We are apprentices of Hunters and are simply observing Beacon to see if we would be a good fit here," Theodore said, holding out his own Scroll. Jaune's eyebrows went up. That was a seriously nice Scroll! Lightyears better than his! Then again, the guy was a Schnee.

On the Scroll were several credentials, with pictures of both Dorothy and Theodore attached to them. Jaune frowned. Something... Seemed off here... Namely that the pictures looked like they were taken just today...

Then again, he couldn't really talk about forged credentials and paperwork, now could he? Maybe he was just being paranoid.

"We just want to train a bit with someone," Dorothy went on, "On the grounds. Away from... Everyone, ya know? At least until the party."

"Oh, you were invited?" Jaune asked.

"It's more that we want to crash it," Dorothy explained, "You know, cut loose! Have some fun! Who knows? Maybe you'll find your soulmate there?"

Jaune winked at her.

"Maybe I already have?"

The violent look of disgust and horror that appeared on both Theodore and Dorothy's faces made Jaune hold his hands up.

"Joking! Really joking! Ahem, sorry. I've uh, I'm cutting down on the flirting! Turns out I've been too aggressive."

"Uh, um, y-yeah," Dorothy said quickly, "I uh, I already have a boyfriend. Back home."

"I am single and not interested in you. At all," Theodore stated. Jaune stared.

"I was only flirting with her-"

"Just making sure," Theodore stated. "Now, are we agreed that we can simply train?"

"Sure thing," Jaune said. "It would be cool to see you teleport all of us with your Semblance!"

"Unfortunately," Theodore stated, "I can't do that with three people. Just one."

"Lame," Dorothy sneered.

"You can't fly while carrying a person either," Theodore observed.

"I-I can too! It's just very slow!" Dorothy argued.

Jaune held his hands up.

"It's cool, really. Let's just all go to a training ground nearby, and have some fun, huh?" He grinned.

"Yes, let's do that," Dorothy said, slapping a hand on Jaune's shoulder and pushing him along.

"Uh, wait, what's the rush-?"

"No rush," Theodore stated quickly, as they began marching towards the courtyard, "Just no need to waste time."

"We've wasted plenty," Dorothy groused.

Jaune shrugged. This was... Kind of weird, but hey. These two seemed cool. And strange... And familar. Strangely familiar...

- - - - - - -
 
WAR!
The doors at the north end of the courtyard slammed open with an echoing wham, drawing the eyes of everyone currently milling about on their free day. They all saw a crimson haired war goddess emerge in her finest battle raiment and a look of tightly bridled fury on her face. Following close behind her was a crimson haired man who's imposing figure was only rivaled by the intensity of his purposeful gaze. The two of them scanned the quadrangle for a face both of them knew well.

The masses collectively decided it would be a very good idea to be somewhere else, less they incur the wrath of Pyrrha Nikos on the warpath. People rushed for whatever door was closest to them, all hoping against hope that the Invincible Girl wasn't there for them specifically.

From the thinning crowds emerged two figures approaching from the opposite direction, and Pyrrha's eyes narrowed in recognition of the woman leading the pair. The chocolate skin, the almost white yellow hair, the olive-green eyes, the sacred robe worn in a manner leaving the left shoulder and arm bare while providing a voluminous sleeve for the other, and the confident stride of a woman who genuinely thought she could win this time all added up to make the Golden Lion of Haven Academy: Arslan Altan.

Pyrrha remembered Arslan very well from her days at Sanctum. The warrior nun had grabbed every opportunity to fight Pyrrha with both hands and refused to let go for any reason; the girl was convinced some kind of great rivalry existed between the two of them for reasons Pyrrha hadn't felt the need to understand at the time. Arslan was undoubtedly looking for another fight, but Pyrrha was in no mood to entertain her. Finding Jaune and getting him away from conniving strumpets that would threaten her and Jaune's future children was far more important that whatever Arslan and her companion... Wait... Oh no.

Arslan's companion had Jaune's features! Those features were severely diluted by Arslan's visage, but Pyrrha would know Jaune's nose and eye ridges anywhere! That meant that somehow, someway, Arslan had the power to take Jaune from her!

"Pyrrha Nikos!" Arslan called out to confirm her dreadful realization, "I've come to challenge you for the right to pursue Jaune Arc! Son of Nick and Isabel Arc! Father of Petra and her twelve siblings!"

TWELVE! Arslan had twelve! no... add Petra and it was THIRTEEN! Arslan had thirteen kids with Jaune! Pyrrha's eyes narrowed; she would have to boost her own numbers.

"Why!" Pyrrha called out with rage building in her heart, "You don't even know him!"

"But I do know of him," Arslan replied. "After all, how could I not take notice of the man my rival's moulding into the perfect warrior? Add in the stories Petra has told me and I know I could spend a lifetime trying to find a man more noble than him. Why shouldn't I pursue a relationship with him? See where it goes?"

"Because you're not leaving here with working legs," Pyrrha focused all of the magnetic senses Polarity provided to her on Arslan. Her foe... Her... Her Rival, had her right hand hidden in her sleeve in a bit of subterfuge Pyrrha had seen a dozen times before. Arslan would turn her dagger into its' rope dart form and use her sleeve to obscure the moment and direction she launched it. But Polarity could feel the mettle of the dart and track its' movement. This subterfuge was wasted on her.

"I figured you'd say something like that," Arslan noted before flicking her arm forward, sending the dart flying.

Or at least that's what Pyrrha's eyes saw. Polarity's magnetic senses insisted the dart was still in Arslan's hand. This disconnect almost cost Pyrrha dearly, and she almost failed to tilt her head out of the dagger/dart's path before it would have struck her in the head.

A single crimson lock fell to the ground.

With a quick tug of the rope the dart returned to Arslan's right hand, and she held it where Pyrrha could see it. The dart was a dagger made of Aura sharpened wood.

"Petra taught me a technique that lets me manipulate how the metal that naturally exists within my body interacts with magnetic scanning, letting me make the metal in my hand look like my dagger," Arslan explained with a savage grin. "Or I could make it look like there is no metal in my body at all."

Arslan took a deep breath then exhaled, and just like that she vanished from the magnetic senses Polarity provided Pyrrha, and Pyrrha felt her heart drop. How did Arslan figure out the secret of her semblance and- oh right time travel.

The Golden Lion of Haven Academy chuckled, "Let's see if your reliance on Polarity has dulled the rest of your senses!" Arslan threw her rope dart again.

Pyrrha raised her shield a second too slow, and the dart landed a solid hit on her shoulder. As Arslan pulled it back again Pyrrha remembered something of vital importance: that her very first fight with Arslan was one of the few fights where she felt like victory was in question, all because of how difficult it was to track the rope dart's unusual movements even with Polarity letting her know where the dart was at all times. She had learned a lot about tracking the movement of metal from those early fights with Arslan, but only now did Pyrrha realize she failed to learn how to track the dart with her ears and eyes.

She didn't have time to learn now, meaning she had two options if she wanted to end this fight quickly. The first was to create distance and shoot, but she knew Arslan wouldn't let her get out of the rope dart's range. That meant her best option was to charge into melee.

Pyrrha charged, and out of the corner of her eye she saw Xander charge Petra with his spear held high while Petra counter charged with a pair of wooden hook swords. Then she was within melee distance with Arslan and she couldn't spare them any of her attention.

Pyrrha's blade was a fury of motion, and Arslan deflected and parried using her wooden dagger with all the skill and finesse Pyrrha expected of her old foe, her, her Rival. Pyrrha did her best to keep Arslan on the defensive, but it didn't take long for Arslan to find the right tempo to shift Pyrrha's relentless assault into a risky back and fourth between the two of them. One moment Arslan would be on the offensive, Pyrrha the next, both of them searching for openings in the other's guard.

It galled Pyrrha to admit it, but without Polarity letting her know where Arslan's hands and feet were she was having a hard time keeping track of them. Sure Pyrrha was occasionally slipping through Arslan's guard and landing good hits, but Arslan was slipping through Pyrrha's guard just as much if not more and landing hits that were just as good. She could still win, she had to, but the fight would be over already if Arslan hadn't found a way to bypass Polarity!

Then Polarity picked up something big coming in fast from above, and Pyrrha leaped back to avoid the impact. Arslan reacted a second too slow and was sent tumbling though the air an impressive distance before she used her rope dart to arrest her momentum and land on her feet.

Pyrrha looked at the figure standing in the dust from the crater and felt her heart swell with relief and gratitude as she saw Yang step out. Her friend had seen her in need and was coming to her aid and...

...A second figure emerged. A girl with a mixture of Yang and Jaune's features. Pyrrha felt her heart twist as she realized her friend was her foe.

"Sorry P-Money," Yang drawled as she pulled her fist back, "But Mama's gotta do what Mama's gotta do."

Yang punched, and Pyrrha pulled her shield up in time to block it and the followup blast from Yang's wrist mounted shotgun. Pyrrha noted that Yang's daughter was charging Arslan, and then she turned her focus onto Yang. The blonde brawler was furious in her assault, but Pyrrha could sense her with Polarity. Every punch, every kick, every shot felt like it was telegraphed from a mile away when compared to the attacks that had been invisible to her magnetic senses.

This was much more manageable. All she had to do now was wait for Yang to overextend herself and then she could take her out of the fight with three well placed strokes and then she could-

Her magnetic senses screamed another warning, and she jumped just in time to avoid getting shot by Gambol Shroud. Blake Belladonna then swung in with twin blonde cat faunus and the three of them attacked the previously fighting pair.

The twins wasted no time lashing out at Yang with weapons that were obvious imitations of Gambol Shroud, while Blake herself was all action and no words as she engaged Pyrrha. Blake was good in a straight up sword fight, but Pyrrha was better. They both knew this, so Pyrrha prepared to charge forward the moment Blake prepared to disengage and-

A knightly young man who looked like a mixture of Jaune and a Schnee tackled Blake to the ground, while Pyrrha had to limbo-duck to avoid getting skewered by Weiss' rapier.

"WEISS!?!?" Pyrrha exclaimed as her sword crossed with the heiress' blade, "But you don't even like Jaune!"

"I'M DOING THIS BECAUSE JAUNE WILL BE AN EXCELLENT HUSBAND AND FATHER! NOT BECAUSE I LIKE HIM OKAY!"

The absolute insanity of that statement made something snap in Pyrrha's mind. Dropping all subtlety with her power she grabbed Myrtenaster with Polarity and ripped the blade out of Weiss' hand with a thought, hurling it through the air and embedding it deep within the trunk of a tree. She then backhanded the ice queen with her shield, sending the heiress tumbling head over heals through the air.

It was time to end this farce. Pyrrha stretched forth her hand with the intention to grab every weapon with Polarity and disarm all her opponents in one fell swoop-

Arslan delivered the people's elbow to the back of Pyrrha's head.

--------------------

Using her Aura sensing abilities should have made finding Jaune Arc a breeze, but May realized her mistake the instant August pushed the doors to the courtyard open.

She already knew that August's aura felt a lot like his father's, so it stood to reason that all of Jaune's kids had auras that felt like their father's. That meant the biggest concentration of Jaune feeling aura hadn't been Jaune at all, but rather a bunch of his kids in one place.

The scene before her was absolute chaos. Pyrrha and a boy that looked a lot like her were wrestling with Arslan and a girl that looks like her. Weiss had just destroyed a tree and was locked in a furious sword fight with Blake. Two young cat faunus were dueling a boy who looked like Weiss, while Yang and a girl that looked like Yang were charging towards the wrestling Pyrrha and Arslan.

"That's them?" May asked unnecessary.

"That's a lot of them," August confirmed.

May's heart sank with sorrow knowing this was the way things were going to be. Was there a way to stop this? Make everyone calm down? If there was she couldn't see it. She pulled her rifle from her back with a heavy heart and-

-the glint of a sniper's scope on a rooftop shined in the corner of her eye. A surge of adrenaline made May roll forward before a lightning dust round impacted the ground where she had been standing. Flipping back up she fired in the direction the shot had come from, already knowing that she wouldn't hit anything.

To her left August had just finished an almost identical roll and fire maneuver. May gritted her teeth with knowing that she was now in a sniper duel with Ruby Rose or possibly Ruby's kid, and that her son was in a sniper duel with whichever one wasn't shooting at her.

Now sniper duels are normally all about stealth, a nasty game of hide and seek usually won by who fired first unless someone messed up. Stealth was out of the question in this scenario, meaning this was all about mobility and the speed of the draw.

As May fired at the red clad reaper and ran along the edge of the courtyard she knew she was at a mobility disadvantage, and their were good odds she'd never hit Ruby. Fortunately, Ruby wasn't just a sniper. She was also a blender with a scythe, meaning if May could avoid getting hit for long enough Ruby would abandon the high ground to attack her in melee.

That wasn't much better, but if Ruby came down then maybe she could trick her into switching dance partners and she could sneak away and try to find Jaune again?

It was a long shot but it was better than nothing.

--------------------

Two people walking by a window overlooking the courtyard were engaged in a conversation about what flavor of jelly went best with peanut butter when the sound of gunshots caught their attention. They both looked out at the window and came to a stop at the sight before them.

"Renny," the shorter of the two started, "Is that all our friends and a bunch of strangers trying to kill each other?"

"That's what it looks like," Ren confirmed.

"Huh," Nora shrugged as she reached to open the window and pull Magnhild from behind her back.

Ren stopped her by putting his hand on her shoulder, "Maybe we should get Jaune to help out with this."

"You're right, we wouldn't want him to miss the fun!"


--------------------

As Xander rolled under the swing of Nicholas' sword and jumped over a Glyph the boy had placed as a trap he noted that while things could be going a lot better, they could also be going much worse. With a swing of his spear Xander swept Nicholas' legs out from under him, forcing the knightly boy to dismiss his Glyph lest he land in his own trap. And yet before Xander could take advantage of his opponent's prone state Yang Xiao Long was suddenly in his face tying to blast him point blank, forcing Xander to backflip away while delivering a solid kick to Yang's jaw. Yang probably would have tried to pursue him once she stopped stumbling back from the hit, but by that point Nicholas was up off the ground and Yang found herself blocking the knightly boy's sword strikes.

The whole fight was going like that. The instant someone looked like they were getting an upper hand over their opponent someone else butted in and forced the party that had been winning to disengage and look for an opportunity to reengage by stepping into someone else's fight. It was a vicious cycle that Xander wasn't seeing an easy end to anytime soon.

While this was all happening May and August were running circles around the courtyard firing at the rooftops where Ruby and Julian were also running circles around the courtyard shooting back. Then, as Xander charged Xia, May did something Xander didn't expect. The hoodie clad sniper flipped her rifle around to its' ax configuration and dove into the wild melee behind Xia. All of a sudden Xander found himself between Ruby Rose and her target, and he spun around just in time for an angry cloud of rose petals to slam into his chest.

The red reaper rematerialized as her rifle Crescent Rose shifted into its' scythe mode, which she brought down in a vicious overhead strike Xander blocked with his spear. The two of them proceeded to turn their two polearms into whirling windmills of death as they both prodded the other's defenses. They struck at the same time, but Xander used his variant of Polarity to make sure Ruby's strike was off, forcing her to step back in order to avoid a spear to the face.

"Oh, right," Ruby muttered as she flipped the switch on a hastily cobbled together add-on attached to the side of Crescent Rose where it couldn't interfere with the weapon's form changing. The add-on hummed for a second, and then Xander felt his eyes widen as the entire scythe disappeared from his magnetic senses. So that's what the weird dohicky on Julian's weapon was for.

Ruby's next strikes were much harder for Xander to parry, because while he could still sense the movements of Ruby's hands and the positioning of her footwork with his variant of Polarity knowing those things didn't tell him the length of Ruby's next strike as her hands moved up and down the grips of the now invisible to magnetism scythe. But he could do this! It was just blindfolded combat practice in reverse! He had been tapping in and out of fights with Petra and Arslan, this should be easier than that!

Yet as he tried to focus on Ruby's next swing Xander felt an enormous weapon being aimed at him from the edge of the courtyard, and he saw Ruby's eyes widen in shock. Xander rolled forward. Ruby jumped high.

Crimson energy seared through the air the two of them had occupied the moment before. Xander looked over his shoulder and saw Ash and Ashley standing in one of the courtyard's entrances, both of them armed with some extremely heavy ordinance.

Ash tossed the laser bazooka to the side and pulled out a minigun that had been modified to shoot wooden stakes, while Ashley leveled a recoilless rifle at the crowd.

"Say Hello To Our Little Friends!" The dark haired twins yelled in tandem. Then they opened fire and everyone was looking for cover.

--------------------

Jaune Arc groaned as he looked up at the sky with his back on the grass. Dorothy chuckled as she reached out a hand to help him back up.

"You got a lot closer that time," She grinned as he accepted her hand and let himself get pulled back to his feet.

"Thanks," Jaune rolled his shoulders and rubbed at a spot that was thinking about bruising, "It's always good to know you're improving."

"I have to say you're being a pretty good sport about this," Theodore observed. "Not a lot of people would put up with getting knocked around as much as you have."

"Well, I'm just happy to help," Jaune smiled, "And it's pretty obvious you guys need the practice."

"What do you mean by that?" Dorothy tilted her head in confusion.

"I can tell neither of you have been on the same team before," Jaune explained as he took a swig of water from his bottle. "If I was as fast as my friends I could have waltz through the holes in your coordination."

"He's not wrong," Theodore allowed.

"In fact, if we go again I think I can get close enough to make you pull out your weapon," Jaune boasted.

"I don't have a weapon," Theodore shrugged, "My teleportation glyphs are ideal for ranged combat, so there isn't much point in me getting close to anybody."

"What if the bad guys get close to you?" Jaune pressed.

"If they're human or faunus then I'll use my three black belts to hold them off until I can teleport away," Theodore answered as he picked up a rock. "If they're a creature of grimm or a mindless robot? I do this," He made a blue glyph and a red glyph in the air in front of him closer together than any of the glyphs Jaune had seen him make before. Apparently there was a reason for that, as the two different teleportation effects interacted with each other when they got that close, turning both glyphs purple as they visibly distorted the space between them. Theodore tossed the rock through the distorted space, reducing it to fine sand as it came out the other end. The Schnee boy then waved his hand, demonstrating that he could move the shredding distortion about according to his whims.

"That's so cool," Jaune whispered in awe. Theodore couldn't stop himself from preening at that praise.

Jaune then looked to Dorothy, "What about you? You have a weapon you haven't used yet?"

"If I'm touching it I can control it," Dorothy replied, "I usually steal other people's weapons and turn them against them or improvise with the large objects my semblance lets me pick up."

"Respectable." Jaune nodded before asking, "Why haven't you turned my sword or shield against me then?"

"Uhhh... it didn't seem fair?" Dorothy demurred.

"If you hesitate in a training environment you'll hesitate in the real world," Jaune admonished. "Let's have another go, only this time-"

The door to the training yard slammed open and the familiar voice of Nora called out: "JAUNE! PYRRHA'S GETTING GANKED! RUBY'S GETTING GANKED! WEISS IS GETTING GANKED! YANG IS GETTING GANKED! BLAKE IS GETTING GANGED! A WHOLE BUNCH OF STRANGERS ARE GETTING GANGED WITH THEM!"

"What!?! Who!?! Where!?! Why!?!" Jaune whipped around to see his teammates in the doorway.

"We don't know why," Ren explained in a voice that was somehow both calm and urgent, "But there's a big free for all fight in the Star-Maiden's Memorial Courtyard, all our friends are involved and it seems like they're all seriously trying to hurt each other."

Jaune turned to Theodore and Dorothy, "We have to go help my friends!"

Theodore and Dorothy both look as if their minds had skipped a gear and they didn't know what to do, so Jaune turned up the pressure of his best 'please help I need you' face that had always gotten his older sisters to act. Something in Theodore's eyes melted, and Dorothy seemed to choke up a bit.

"Alright," Theodore sighed, "I guess this is what we're doing now."

The five of them started running.

--------------------

Ash did his best to suppress the cackle that wanted to bubble out of his throat as he pressed down the trigger of the stake shooting minigun. Seeing the chaos unfold before him tickled a part of his psyche he didn't have before he was eight, and he always hated feeding that part of him. He and his sister were probably in for a long talk with their therapist if they managed to get home. Next to him Ashley openly giggled as she fired another round from the recoilless rifle.

As he turned the minigun to make another sweep over the yard a cloud of rose petals came down from above them, and suddenly Julian was there driving his scythe into the mechanisms of the gun and ripping it apart. Ashley tried swinging the recoilless rifle at the silver eyed boy, only for August to charge in from their left and cut the gun apart with his axe.

Without any suppressing fire the brawl resumed with Yang and Xia charging Pyrrha and Petra, Arslan charging Nicholas, Ruby charging the faunus twins and so on until everyone was engaged in a new fight except for May, who was doing her best to army crawl out of the battlefield.

With Julian and August right on them Ash and Ashley were forced to draw out their daggers and defend themselves in melee. A melee that slowly migrated into the greater fight in the center of the courtyard...
 
only thing better would be a "Old Man Juane" who basically lost everyone joining the fray deciding to go out in a good fight-fest...basically going SSJ 3 like in your short stories thinking this was a free for all...that and the kids are so messing up the future so badly that he had to get involved (even if he thanks them for breaking him out of the time-loop he was in...he sitll is kicking their butts for messing with the time-stream a bit).

I'm kind of seeing that Jaune is going to be in for suffering in the long term, also how is he going to take care of all those kids if Ozpin does his plan? not to mention balancing all the problems that comes with the relationships...

I get it's a crack, but there's a good reason why it's usually unless your dang royalty (and not having to do anything but sit down and look pretty/handsome) the massive harem thing doesnt really work out...then theres the whole sucession crisis...

anyway, looking a bit forward to how everything gets solved...or if Moses (isn't that a name) manages to send everyone back to their time....and Juane has to deal with the potential consequences.

that or the poor boy just decides to go Old-man Juanes training montage because this was a mess and a half.
 
Arslan delivered the people's elbow to the back of Pyrrha's head.
LMAO. Ya know this implies that the Rock or his local expy exists here and I'm all for it. RWBY WWE must be over the top and hilarious.
Jaune turned to Theodore and Dorothy, "We have to go help my friends!"
With Julian and August right on them Ash and Ashley were forced to draw out their daggers and defend themselves in melee. A melee that slowly migrated into the greater fight in the center of the courtyard...
When Jaune finds out he's gonna be shocked, happy and disappointed. I predict he's gonna pull the strict Dad routine to get everyone to stop and that will make the ladies even more attracted to him.
 
WAR! 2
Humans were never meant to be creatures of instinctual habit, as evidenced by the fact that the instinctual human response in unexpected or high stress situations is usually the wrong one. Take a person who grew up in a place where it never snowed and make them walk on a sheet of ice and you will instantly see this in action; as that person will instinctively want to lock up their legs in a stiff position for stability, thereby making slipping and falling an inevitability.

In mildly bad weather the wrong instinctive response can be funny, hilarious even. In a genuine emergency the wrong instinctive response can be fatal.

And so the vast majority of training regiments are designed to break people of their bad instinctive responses. Even your most basic fire/evacuation drills are meant to break a bad instinctive response, for panicking people relying on instinct will almost always exit a building the same way they came in; even if the way they came in is the farthest exit possible.

For example, consider the current predicament of Emerald Sustrai; her daughter slung over her shoulders as she runs from the literal raging inferno known as Cinder Fall. To say Emerald was acting more out of instinct than than rational thought at the present moment was an accurate assessment, the panic caused by Cinder's unexpected flip to homicidal hostility had not had a single moment to subside as a result of the false maiden's relentless pursuit and unceasing attacks. Shards of molten glass and gouts of flame shot past the dark skinned girl that she expertly dodged, showing that practical combat experience had broken all of those bad instincts and replaced them with better ones, and yet the path she was taking showed she hadn't done that many evacuation drills.

The rational part of her mind still working through the panic realized the best bet for survival for her and her daughter was to get to a wide open space with more room to maneuver. Her mind's eye pictured a courtyard she had visited several times the previous week. A courtyard on the other side of Beacon's campus. Emerald wove a winding path through the school, charging through halls and empty classrooms, up a flight of stairs and down another, zigging and zagging trough locker rooms and public spaces with Cinder leaving a trail of burning destruction and activated fire sprinklers in their mutual wake.

Throughout this chase Emerald had passed over twenty open windows she could have easily jumped through, six doors that were already open and leading outside, fifty doors she could have easily kicked open and passed through before Cinder could have caught up and one hole in the wall that hadn't been fixed from some aura enhanced rough housing the day before. In other words it was a miracle that Emerald reached the doors of the Star-Maiden's Memorial Courtyard without her and her daughter being reduced to ash by Cinder's blind fury.

Emerald kicked the doors open to see a scene of battle before her.

She ran out and into it, for hellfire and death was behind her baying for her blood and calling her a hoe.

--------------------

Jaune Arc pushed open the doors leading out into the Star-Maiden's Memorial Courtyard and stepped out into the sunlight with Crocea Mors drawn and its' shield deployed. To his right Nora and Theodore stepped out with battle ready looks on their faces, on his left Ren and Dorothy stretched their arms in preparation for a coming fight.

Scanning the battlefield Jaune took note of Pyrrha, Weiss and Blake locked in a three-way sword fight, Yang and a Girl that looked a lot like Yang trying to wrestle a spear out of the hands of a guy who kinda looked like Pyrrha. Ruby was dodging a rope dart being thrown by Arslan Altan, while a silver-eyed boy swung his scythe at a pair of blond cat faunus. That Emerald girl had another girl slung over her shoulder and she was being chased by her team leader Cinder, who was yelling things that would have made Mama Arc bust out a bar of soap to wash her mouth. That was all he was able to take in before he felt someone grab his right pant leg.

"May!?!" Jaune cried out in surprise as he looked down and saw the sniper from Shade Academy who had apparently been army crawling towards this specific door.

"Jaune? Oh thank god," May cried out in relief as she got up off the ground with some help from the blonde swordsman.

"May, what's going on?" Jaune asked.

"Time travel," May replied in a shaky voice, "Everyone out there you don't recognize is a kid of yours from the future trying to make sure you can only marry their mom."

"Say what?" The words came out of Jaune's mouth as it felt like his mind was slowing down and speeding up at the same time. The part that was speeding up quickly made the connection that if the strangers were his kids then their mothers would be the people he knew that they looked like. The part that was slowing down was counting girls and added thing up to nine, and that didn't seem right. He couldn't even get the one girl he had tried asking out to like him! And yet here she was with eight other girls seriously attempting bodily harm to one another to keep the other girls from marrying him.

The math wasn't lining up even though he couldn't add things up any other way.

"I hoped we'd be able to talk things out," May carried on in a desperate tone, "But when I got here everyone was already fighting, and I was getting shot at before I could even get a word in! Now that you're here maybe we can find a way to talk things out and-" May noticed something out of the corner of her eye, and her face shifted into a snarl before she shrieked; "YOU CAN'T TOUCH MY BABY LIKE THAT!" And with that she charged into the fray axe held high.

Jaune staggered back, with Nora and Ren placing a steadying hands on his shoulders. Even though his mind was racing in circles he could still here Ren ask Theodore and Dorothy a question:

"Are either of you time traveling kids of Jaune?"

Dorothy chuckled nervously, and that was all the confirmation the speeding up portion of Jaune's mind needed to know she was, bringing the number of mothers up to ten. Yet Dorothy had said her last name was Goodwitch. Goodwitch! That didn't add up at all!

Back in the battle Pyrrha grabbed Weiss' rapier for a second time with Polarity, and sent it flying before punching the heiress away. Theodore stretched out his hand and caught the blade with one of his glyphs, teleporting it into his hand. An incredulous look crossed the his face as he looked over to where Weiss had landed. He then stormed forward, eyes twitching while yelling, "Aunt Weiss! What! The! Hell! Do! You! Think! You! Are! Doing! Your Semblance Is Best Used At Range! You Are A MAGE That Can Stab Things That GET TOO Close! Key Words: GET TOO! WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO ENGAGE THE WORLD'S BEST SWORDSWOMAN IN A MELEE FIGHT IF YOU DON'T HAVE TO?!?!?"

Theodore called Weiss his Aunt, the part of Jaune's mind that was keeping count added the mothers up to eleven. The other part that was keeping count realized the Aunt part meant Theodore's mother was Weiss' sister Winter. Another thing that didn't add up.

Math was breaking. Jaune turned his head to look at Dorothy as if she could give some kind of answer that would clarify things.

"Umm... Well..." Dorothy wilted under his gaze, "You see Dad... I thought... We thought... My friend had a plan that fell apart pretty quickly and we needed to do something... and it was... Ah, Screw it! HEY PETRA! YOU AND ME ARE FIGHTING NOW!" Dorothy flew into the fight.

"Well, I know who I'm rooting for!" Nora grinned as she pulled Magnhild out from behind her back and started launching grenades into the scrummage. "YOU CAN DO THIS PYRRHA! WHOOHOOO!" She yelled.

One of the grenades hit a silver eyed boy who could only be Ruby's kid while he was activating his semblance, knocking him off course and sending him hurtling off into the distance. The two cat faunus who could only be Blake's had somehow procured a large amount of rope and had somehow pinned Yang to the ground long enough to tie her up. Yang's daughter and Ruby apparently reached some kind of nonverbal accord and charged the two cat faunus as they hoisted Yang into the air and ran off with her. Cinder continued to yell fire while spiting fire as she tried to burn Emerald and Emerald's daughter to a crisp. Theodore kept yelling at Weiss for her terrible tactics.

Jaune knew he couldn't stand their and do nothing, but what could he do? And so he asked, "Ren, as the brother I've never had, do you have any brotherly advice to give me?"

"Uhhhh..." Ren's grip on Jaune's shoulder tightened, "Maybe we could... No... Perhaps we could..." Ren facepalmed, "No that's a terrible idea."

And so the battle raged on as two young men grappled with the age old question: How do you talk down a bunch of girls going full crazy?
 
"If they're human or faunus then I'll use my three black belts to hold them off until I can teleport away," Theodore answered as he picked up a rock. "If they're a creature of grimm or a mindless robot? I do this," He made a blue glyph and a red glyph in the air in front of him closer together than any of the glyphs Jaune had seen him make before. Apparently there was a reason for that, as the two different teleportation effects interacted with each other when they got that close, turning both glyphs purple as they visibly distorted the space between them. Theodore tossed the rock through the distorted space, reducing it to fine sand as it came out the other end. The Schnee boy then waved his hand, demonstrating that he could move the shredding distortion about according to his whims.

White haired shades wearing, and possibly blue eyed as well, even wearing a black and white color schemed armor. WINTER SCHNEE frigging spawned a GOJO type since Theodore is a bit a serious type, now this war is gonna get a bit more chaotic than usual.
 
*gets a megaphone* "I'll only date people that can get along enough to date each other! Polyamory or nothing!"
Personally, the concept of two girls in a relationship in and of itself doesn't really do anything for me, even though the girls themselves do, so I avoid polycules as a rule.

That's why I wish people would clearly label the tags when they intend a story to be one that centers around one person who dates the other members or multiple members dating each other so I can not read the latter where necessary, but most authors don't seem to take note of the distinction, just labeling both as a "harem".

Different things appeal to different people.
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Back
Top