Chapter 32: Consequences
Nidhog153
Warhammer Lore Lover and Nasu-verse enjoyer.
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I heard the crack of breaking bones, and my body went limp. The master then threw me away, but only my head hurt when I hit the floor.
He was saying something, but I couldn't hear what he was saying. The world went in and out of focus, dimming before becoming unbearably bright then dimming again.
I couldn't breathe. My lungs wouldn't work.
'Help me…'
I tried to speak, but everything hurt so much I could only form the words in my mind.
The floor vibrated for a moment, then I heard something walking towards me. Deep footsteps reverberated through the stone floor. Finally, a dark shadow passed over me as a taloned foot covered in thick black hair landed right in front of my eyes.
Something soft picked me up, then I felt myself passing through a tight tube that was warm and wet and dark.
*Gasp!
I woke up with a start. The pain was gone and I could breathe again. I had been tucked in under a white blanket. Several other children were asleep around me in soft looking beds. The room I was in was dimly lit, but I could see that there were more beds around me.
Instinctively, I listened to the rhythms of breathing as the master had taught me. Each breath had a distinct sound that should be memorized and followed. Each breath could tell me whether they were functional or close to breaking.
There were at least several hundred different breaths around me, and all of them were slow and drawn out. It sounded like the rhythm of temporary incapacitation. At this moment, I had the advantage over all those around me.
"Awake already, are we?"
I froze. Before I could even process what I heard, I could feel something bubbling up inside me. The voice I heard was musical, but I could feel my heart rate increasing. I was losing control. The master would not forgive that.
—-------------------------------------------------
"A weapon must always be under control." The master said as we were lined up against the wall by him and his trainers. Today, he had a pistol in his left hand.
"Stand there without moving." He ordered us, and we all stood with our backs against the wall.
There was some metallic clinking and a small animal was brought out in front of us on a leash. It sniffed at the floor, then looked up at us with big black eyes. There was a slight sheen on its wet nose. Then it barked and wagged its tail.
"Look at the creature before you." He said, and we all focussed our eyes on the furry thing. "Exitus Acta Probat." He repeated the line carved into the stone relief that hung above us, then he pointed the pistol at the animal's head and fired.
I felt the boy next to me flinch at the sound, then the master pointed the pistol at him, and fired again.
15 times, the master's pistol fired. I knew because I counted the number of times it roared after he pulled the trigger. It was important to memorize things like these, for the master might ask us a question at the end of today's lesson. I could not see where all the shots landed, for the master had told us to stand here without moving. So, I kept my eyes still, locked onto the bloody remains of the animal brought before us.
The only two I could see who were shot were the people immediately to my right. The master shot the boy, and the girl next to him. She had twitched when the boy's blood spattered her cheek, so the master shot her next.
"Control begins with calmness." The master said as he lowered the pistol. "What you see before you is all there is. Nothing else matters." The master began to walk towards us. "Stand at ease." He ordered, and we all took the moment to blink before clasping our hands behind our backs and spreading our feet to shoulder width.
"What is in front of you?" The master said as he turned to one of the children to my left.
"It is a dog, sir." I heard the voice of a young boy sound out.
*BLAM!
There was a thud of a body hitting the floor, then the master's boots clomped against the floor as he stepped in front of the next person in line.
"It is meat now." The master said. "What is meat?" He asked.
"It is sustenance, sir." This time it was the voice of a young girl.
The master didn't say anything, and proceeded to the next person in line.
"What is sustenance?" He asked.
"It is fuel for our operation, sir." A young boy replied.
Again, there was no reply, but the master's footsteps rang as he walked down the line.
"What does it mean to operate?" He asked.
"It means to maintain function until the order can be carried out, sir."
The master stepped forwards again, and this time he stood before me. I could see the barrel of the gun in his hand as it raised and pointed at my face.
I did not blink, nor did I move. Anyone who could not control themselves enough to stare straight down that barrel had been shot and converted into meat long ago.
"What is the order?" The master asked me.
"To serve the Imperium by eliminating the target, sir." I answered.
The pistol lowered and the master walked away from us.
"150 pushups, starting now. All who fail will be added to today's sustenance." He said, and we all got down from where we stood and began following his orders.
—-------------------------------------------------
I felt nothing at the time. I could not afford to feel anything. Feelings were a loss of control. But now, I could see and feel things that I should not from that voice. I heard a bird sing and thought it was beautiful. I heard the trickle of water and felt calm.
I scrunch my eyes shut and grit my teeth while covering my ears with both hands.
Exitus Acta Probat. Exitus Acta Probat. Exitus Acta Probat.
The outcome justifies the deed.
The outcome justifies the deed.
The outcome justifies the deed.
I repeated the master's words over and over in my head to block out the voice.
We had a purpose, and what we went through was just a part of producing the necessary outcome. It was normal. It was natural. It was the way the world worked.
A smooth skinned hand wrapped around my forearm, and pulled me up away from the bed.
I lashed out, striking out with my free fist blindly.
I cannot lose control. I cannot lose control. I cannot lose control.
A weapon that cannot be controlled cannot carry out its function. A failure to carry out function is a failure of operation. A failure of operation means being converted into meat.
I do not want to be converted into meat.
A soft hand placed itself behind my head, and pressed my face into something soft. I smell the sweet scents of flowers.
No, it is just the scent of the reproductive organ of a plant. The master taught us that they draw in insects to use them with their smell. The source of this smell is just trying to trick me. It is just another trap, another method to make me lose control.
If I lose control, I will be converted into meat, like all the others who lost control.
I struggle to get away from the hands that hold me. I cannot be near whatever this is. I need to retreat and reconsider my options. I have to re-establish control. I need to…
A lullaby begins next to my ear. The musical voice… Her musical voice brings back memories I had buried long ago.
I wasn't always in that dark place. I wasn't always fighting to survive for every second of my life.
There were two people who took care of me. There was a man and a woman. I used to laugh and run around them. But, I can't remember their names or faces.
Family. That was what I used to have.
Water comes out of my eyes, and I scream into the breast of the person holding me, letting out a muffled howl against their skin.
Soft fingers caress the back of my head as her other hand pats me on the back.
"Mama!" I cry. "Mama!"
That was what I used to say when I dove into the arms of the woman who was my family.
My body went limp as I cried and cried, soaking the white fabric of her clothing.
She held me the entire time, singing softly as she cradled me.
Eventually, voice hoarse and head heavy, I fell asleep in her arms.
—-------------------------------------------------
I awoke again in the same soft bed I woke up in last night. Daylight shone through a number of high-up windows. I could hear other children waking up around me. Their breathing was getting shallower and quicker.
Slowly, I pushed myself out of the bed. We were in a large room with smooth white walls and red carpeted floors. I felt the fabric with my feet, testing its safety. It was soft, but there was definite hard ground underneath it.
There were many many beds filled with children around me. I counted the number of rows top and bottom, and did some quick multiplication. There were almost a thousand of us here. I could recognize some from the stone sparring arenas we had been forced to live in. I did not know their names. None of us had any. A weapon does not have a name.
"Good morning Lorien." A husky feminine voice came from behind me, and I whipped around. I felt no presence there. I heard no breathing. There should have been no one behind me.
My eyes met a pair of gray eyes belonging to a woman with pointed ears and red hair kneeling by my bed. Behind her, I saw a few hundred other women with the same ears but different colored hair walking amongst the beds, waking the other children. They were all very tall and willowy. Yet, they all moved like the master used to. Precise, perfectly balanced, and with purpose.
"If you are awake, then get out of your bed." The woman said sternly. "There is much to do today Lorien."
It was at this point I realized she was referring to me with that name. The red haired woman sighed and stood up.
"My name is Elalindra." She said, turning to the children around me. "I and the other women here will be looking after you from today. Sit there staring any longer and you will miss the morning meal. Now, stand up and make your beds."
—-------------------------------------------------
'At the same time', an Aeldari with blond hair and silver eyes stood before the Emperor beside a woman of Arabian descent. Both wore brown cloaks, but the hood part was off at the moment.
"One day after your arrival and you're already causing mischief." Neoth grumbled.
The three of them were in his office within the Sanctum Imperialis. Several pieces of ancient Terran artwork and literature were placed on the walls, or encased behind plexiglass cases on marble plinths. A stained glass window was behind the massive desk that they all stood in front of, coloring the light that shined through it and painting the wall and floor in several different hues.
He was standing before them, like the headmaster of a school before two regular troublemakers.
"It was at your mother's invitation." Isha shrugged. "I may be an accomplice, but shouldn't you direct your first complaint towards the instigator?"
"Hush now." Erda pouted. "These things often start at the bottom, then go to the top. If I am the one who envisioned this act, then it is natural that you should take the blame first before anyone gets to me."
"So, you mean to cut me off like a lizard's tail?" Isha snorted.
"It is the duty of a servant to protect their master." Erda laughed with one hand covering her mouth. "Even if it is just a farce, you could try to at least act like you're buying time for me."
"We were summoned here together." Isha huffed. "I think it is too late to avoid whatever comeuppance is coming."
"Enough." The Emperor's voice was calm, but there was a heaviness to it that was not there before. "I've talked to the Director Primus of each assassin temple." He continued in the same tone. "Since the remaining initiates think the others are dead, they cannot re-matriculate the children you took into their temples. The mental conditioning will not be as effective if those they thought dead came back." His eyes turned upon Isha, and she met his gaze defiantly. "In addition, as long as you continue visiting each temple to show off the 'beast', they have no issue with you taking the children who fail from now on." The Emperor blinked once, then softened his features as he chuckled a little. "I even have requests from some of them to make the 'performance' more visceral."
"Is that so?" Isha replied, voice dripping with sarcasm. "I can conduct a live demonstration upon their bodies if they wish."
"The addition of the sound of crunching bones or a little spray of blood when you swallow them will be enough, according to them." Neoth replied, remembering what the Director Primus of the Vindicare Temple had said to him.
—-------------------------------------------------
"It will save us the time getting the initiates used to the sound of violence." The bald assassin had stated over a communicator after finishing his report regarding the interruption caused by Isha and Erda to the Emperor.
"Will this not interfere with your operations?" The Emperor asked in return.
"I am an assassin." Vindicare replied. "No operation has the perfect environment. If the conditions change, then adaptation is necessary to complete the order."
"This is a large interruption." The Emperor pointed out. "Is your decision unaffected by the individuals involved?" Both Isha and Erda were powerful beings in more ways than one. If the Director Primus was compromising out of fear, that would be a greater problem than what the two goddesses had done. The assassin temples could not be allowed to cowed or threatened by anything.
There was a short pause, then the Vindicare assassin resumed speaking. "It is the same as taking a shot from a distance." He said, using what he knew best as an analogy. "Wind speed. Humidity. Lighting. The position of the target. All of these are out of our control, but that gives us no reason not to make the shot. Correction is all that is necessary to take out the target. The actions of Lady Erda and her guest are another factor out of my control. As an assassin, it is my responsibility to take them into account, and use them to my advantage if possible."
—-------------------------------------------------
"Fine." Isha replied. "If it's just sounds and a bit of red liquid, I can add that to the deception."
Neoth nodded, then turned towards the other goddess.
"As for you Erda, the matter is more serious." The Emperor said with a grim look on his face. "Why didn't you come to me before you acted?"
"I've told you my thoughts about the assassin temples." Erda replied, returning his glare. "107 children would not have made it if we had arrived a second later."
"My Imperium murders thousands everyday." The Emperor's boots rang against the marble floor as he stepped to stand in front of Erda. "In the past hour alone, my Thunder Warriors have ended the lives of over 500 humans of all ages on this planet. Will you interfere with them as well without asking me?" His shadow loomed over her as he looked down at her.
"If it will save a life that I can, I will." She replied, unafraid, unmoved by the threatening posture.
The air seemed to grow heavier as the two stood there, and the pages of various books turned on their own behind the plexiglass as the paintings on the wall shook.
"As the Emperor of this Imperium, I cannot allow that." He finally said. "The children you saved will remain with Isha, and she can continue collecting the dropouts. Their food, clothing, and other amenities will be provided by the Imperial Palace's budget." The doors to the Emperor's office opened and two Custodes in dark gray armor, ornamented with gold, with red pauldrons marched in.
"However, you will remain in my laboratory from now on." The Emperor said as Erda watched the two Custodes from the Shadowkeeper Shield Host approach her. "I will have two of my Custodes escort you and LE-2 there. If you need to speak with me or do something outside the laboratory, then you will have to gain my approval through them."
"So, you will imprison me?" Erda said sadly as she turned back to the Emperor.
The Shadowkeeper Shield Host were the battalion of Custodes that acted as the wardens of the Dark Cells. It was their duty to ensure dangerous objects and individuals from Old Night remained where the Emperor had left them.
"This Imperium is not a playground." The Emperor said grimly. "There are procedures and laws that must be obeyed."
Erda bowed her head and remained silent.
"Take her back to her shuttle and return her and LE-2 to my laboratory." The Emperor said as he looked up to his Custodes. The two jailers nodded and walked towards Erda. One offered his hand to her, as a gentleman would to a lady who needed an escort. Erda gave the Emperor a sad smile before turning and accepting the hand of the Custodes. The Shadowkeeper who took her hand turned and began to lead her out of the Emperor's office, as the other took up the rearguard position behind her.
Isha held her tongue until the three of them had left, then turned towards the Emperor.
"You imprison your own mother but let the alien free?" She said angrily.
What happened to Erda was unfair. The mother of humanity could not be expected to ask for permission for every act. If there was a child about to be hit by a truck, one does not go to the police to ask if they can be allowed to jaywalk to save them.
"As much as I would like to blame you, you were just a tool in this situation." The Emperor growled as he walked around his desk and sat behind it. "Additionally, I can tell where you are at any time as well as what you are doing through the scar I left. That was why I allowed your little venture when I sensed you nearing the assassin temples in the first place. Not to mention, Lady Callidus was with you, and it was she who kept me updated on the situation."
"Then isn't this a little excessive?" Isha gestured to the door Erda had left from. "There was no harm done."
"It is the principle of the matter." The Emperor's right fist clenched as he spoke. "What happens when there is nobody near her to inform me of what is going on? What happens if she acts against me in a way that I cannot cover up?"
This act had taken place in complete secrecy, but there was no guarantee the next interference would. If the Emperor was not at least notified, the consequences may expose Erda and some of the more sensitive projects associated with her.
Having the Imperial Assassins follow her or monitor was not a guarantee either. Erda's strict refusal to call them by their names indicated that she merely stomached what they did to create more of their number. If she wanted to, there was a good chance she could evade or eliminate them.
"Every critical failure is preceded by smaller faults." Neoth said as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "Erda's flaunting of protocol is one such fault that cannot be allowed to grow into a failure."
"She acts in humanity's interests as a whole." Isha huffed.
Erda's acts were not random, nor were they totally selfish. She moved to save as many people as she could. After all, that was the way she had been envisioned as the mother of humanity.
"Yet, she is powerless to save it." The Emperor replied grimly.
Isha sighed, then walked around the Emperor's desk right up to his chair. The height difference between them meant that she still had to look upwards to meet him eye to eye, but she drew close enough to him that they were mere centimeters apart.
"I will warn you, Master of Mankind." She whispered, stressing the last word of his title. "Erda is not a human who can be convinced. Her priorities cannot be changed by using a carrot and a stick. She may look and act human, but there will be dire consequences for treating her like one. You may buy time by cajoling her into doing what you want with force, but she is just like you. She will do anything to save humanity in the way she sees fit."
"Then, what do you propose?" Neoth said quietly.
"Allow her to act as she needs to, just like my family did in our Pantheon." Isha said as she stared into his eyes. "If you cannot do that, bind her in chains and rob her of all freedom."
Neoth snorted and turned away. "Just like Asuryan and Khaine did to you." He muttered.
That was the result of Isha's and Kurnous's unilateral act of speaking to the Aeldari despite the edict.
"If you want to truly change how she thinks, you would need to engage her in a divine debate just like I did with you." Isha said quietly. "However, I doubt she would survive the process."
"Because she is weakened?" Neoth asked tiredly.
"Because Xozer fell." There was no emotion in Isha's voice, just the pronouncement of a diagnosis she had made based on everything she knew about Erda.
Neoth grit his teeth at the name. "There was no choice." He hissed.
"Perhaps." Isha replied gently. "I do not make a judgment of whether what was done was right or wrong. It is merely the order of events that lead to this sorry situation the both of you are in that I describe."
Neoth closed his eyes as his brow furrowed. For a moment, the two deities sat and stood there for a while.
"Can you help me?" Neoth finally said, face still scrunched up with frustration.
Isha remained silent for a while, and anger deepened Neoth's frown as it began to well up in his heart. Then, she opened her mouth to speak.
"Erda is a deity created when humanity was united on this planet." Isha said softly. "If there is a chance to restore what she was, it is there." Suddenly, she placed a hand on his shoulder, and the skin that touched him flashed gold as similarly colored sparks jumped away from the point of contact. "But, that is a double edged sword, Neoth." Isha's eyes bored into Neoth's own, imploring him to listen. "The closer you get to uniting humanity, the stronger she will become. If she breaks free from the constraints you put on her now before you can reconcile with her, I do not know what she will do."
There was only the crackle of golden sparks for a few moments, then Isha pulled away from him.
"I did not expect her to so proactively enlist my assistance in saving some of her children." She said as she stared at the door Erda had left from. "However, as a fellow maternal goddess, I can relate to her motivation for doing so."
"What is it?" Neoth asked.
"Desperation." Isha replied. "Terra cannot support human life, and it is only the technology from before Old Night that allows her children to persist. That fact motivates her to entrust her children to others who can take care of them where she cannot."
Neoth leaned back in his chair and rubbed his face with one hand.
"And I am not one of those she can entrust." His voice was resigned, exhausted, and depressed.
Why else would she keep coming into conflict with him if she could trust him?
There was a flicking sound, and he felt something hit his ear.
"If she didn't, she wouldn't work with you at all." Isha sighed as she crossed her arms. "I guess she doesn't trust you blindly, just like you cannot believe her interference will always have a positive outcome. Hence, she tries to spread her eggs around into different baskets."
Neoth shot her a quizzical look. It was obvious she had just flicked his ear.
"What?" Isha asked irritably as she put her hands on her waist. "Do you regret bringing me to Terra already for complicating your life?"
"... No." Neoth finally replied as he dropped the matter. "I do not understand Erda as a goddess, or as a mother." A small smile crossed his face. "I appreciate your advice. Thank you."
"Advice is not worth anything if it isn't followed, so you do not owe me anything." Isha snorted. "I'll keep it in mind until after you repair your relationship with Erda."
Neoth shook his head, chuckling to himself quietly. He couldn't tell whether it was her way of telling him to hurry up and make amends with Erda, or a roundabout way of cheering him up.
Perhaps this was how Aeldari expressed the phrase 'You can do this!' to each other.
But, most of all, he could feel the nosey and meddlesome parts of Isha's maternal nature coming through. One part irritation, one part impatience, and mostly a desire to see some effort put in to make things better.
Taking in a deep breath, he reset the atmosphere of the room.
"It isn't related to this, but I have something for you." He said, changing the subject.
"Don't you mean someone?" Isha said as she narrowed her eyes.
"You really are no fun." Neoth sighed as he leaned back in his chair again.
"Half of my children's blood runs through his veins. I can sense him approaching." Isha snorted.
Neoth sighed, then returned to his persona as the Emperor.
"Malcador has released Ael Wyntor and the body of your child." He announced as he rose from his chair. "I decided to have both of them sent here, since the rooms below are occupied with your future diplomats."
"He seems scared and uncertain." Isha commented. "I wonder if I can go give Malcador a flick on the forehead." An angry smile began to twist the ends of her mouth upwards.
"I would appreciate it if you didn't." Neoth warned as the doors to his office opened again.
A/N: I don't usually do these post chapter A/Ns, but I felt it worth it since I didn't get the opportunity to explain why the tone might have shifted from comedy to grimdark really quickly in the text.
As depicted in the side stories, what happened to the Aeldari during the War in Heaven was horrific. As the Aeldari reincarnate, they are effectively stuck in a death loop fighting an enemy that defies all reason with no end in sight. Isha had to watch that for millions of years, so she is used to seeing extreme stress and trauma.
Erda is also hardened to suffering, as she has watched humanity since its birth. She knows just how cruel they can be to one another, and the almost unlimited amount of suffering they can create.
The training that these children endured is mundane from that perspective. It may be horrible, but it could be worse. As Erda mentoined, these orphans had a high chance of ending up on the streets without the Imperial Assassin Temples. If they were left to become street urchin, an infinitely small number might have been adopted or rescued by some good samaritan. However, it would be much more likely that they would end up dying from hunger, dehydration, violent crime, or in the process of some pervert's depraved hobby. In that light, death during training in the Assassin Temples is not the worst thing that could have happened to them. At the very least, their suffering is for a utilitarian good. All the other death would have truly been for no purpose.
If killing tens of thousands of children creates an assassin who can stop a civil war that will destroy even more lives, then that trade is worth it.
This is why Erda stomachs the creation of the Imperial Assassins. However, she is still quite bitter about what happens to the children, and that is apparent in the way she talks to Callidus. It is in some senses an unreasonable outburst of anger, but Erda herself is not a 100% reasonable individual.
Neoth is not given the same treatment for two main reasons.
1. This is not the worst thing he has ever done.
2. Treating him that way would be counter-productive. He would become even more entrenched and less responsive to anything Erda would say if she pushed him away from her in the same manner.
The assassins' emotions are already dead. They either don't care that Erda is angry with them as they know she will not interfere, or understand Erda's anger as an unfortunate but predictable response to their actions. She knows this, which is why she allows herself this small bit of spite towards them.
In a sense, this shows some of her more caring tendencies. The only direct acts against any human she takes are effectively meaningless or harmless, as the individuals involved either do not care about it or can live with it.
Another reason the deities can go from joking or laughing about things to topics of death and destruction is because the deities actively try to dwell on the positive side of things. Isha in particular described this the best for herself in Chapter 26:
It is analagous to the gallows humor many police, firefighters, morticians, paramedics, and ER nurses use to get through their daily life while being exposed to horrific events. (e.g. accidents, crimes, deaths, and injury of all manner)
He was saying something, but I couldn't hear what he was saying. The world went in and out of focus, dimming before becoming unbearably bright then dimming again.
I couldn't breathe. My lungs wouldn't work.
'Help me…'
I tried to speak, but everything hurt so much I could only form the words in my mind.
The floor vibrated for a moment, then I heard something walking towards me. Deep footsteps reverberated through the stone floor. Finally, a dark shadow passed over me as a taloned foot covered in thick black hair landed right in front of my eyes.
Something soft picked me up, then I felt myself passing through a tight tube that was warm and wet and dark.
*Gasp!
I woke up with a start. The pain was gone and I could breathe again. I had been tucked in under a white blanket. Several other children were asleep around me in soft looking beds. The room I was in was dimly lit, but I could see that there were more beds around me.
Instinctively, I listened to the rhythms of breathing as the master had taught me. Each breath had a distinct sound that should be memorized and followed. Each breath could tell me whether they were functional or close to breaking.
There were at least several hundred different breaths around me, and all of them were slow and drawn out. It sounded like the rhythm of temporary incapacitation. At this moment, I had the advantage over all those around me.
"Awake already, are we?"
I froze. Before I could even process what I heard, I could feel something bubbling up inside me. The voice I heard was musical, but I could feel my heart rate increasing. I was losing control. The master would not forgive that.
—-------------------------------------------------
"A weapon must always be under control." The master said as we were lined up against the wall by him and his trainers. Today, he had a pistol in his left hand.
"Stand there without moving." He ordered us, and we all stood with our backs against the wall.
There was some metallic clinking and a small animal was brought out in front of us on a leash. It sniffed at the floor, then looked up at us with big black eyes. There was a slight sheen on its wet nose. Then it barked and wagged its tail.
"Look at the creature before you." He said, and we all focussed our eyes on the furry thing. "Exitus Acta Probat." He repeated the line carved into the stone relief that hung above us, then he pointed the pistol at the animal's head and fired.
I felt the boy next to me flinch at the sound, then the master pointed the pistol at him, and fired again.
15 times, the master's pistol fired. I knew because I counted the number of times it roared after he pulled the trigger. It was important to memorize things like these, for the master might ask us a question at the end of today's lesson. I could not see where all the shots landed, for the master had told us to stand here without moving. So, I kept my eyes still, locked onto the bloody remains of the animal brought before us.
The only two I could see who were shot were the people immediately to my right. The master shot the boy, and the girl next to him. She had twitched when the boy's blood spattered her cheek, so the master shot her next.
"Control begins with calmness." The master said as he lowered the pistol. "What you see before you is all there is. Nothing else matters." The master began to walk towards us. "Stand at ease." He ordered, and we all took the moment to blink before clasping our hands behind our backs and spreading our feet to shoulder width.
"What is in front of you?" The master said as he turned to one of the children to my left.
"It is a dog, sir." I heard the voice of a young boy sound out.
*BLAM!
There was a thud of a body hitting the floor, then the master's boots clomped against the floor as he stepped in front of the next person in line.
"It is meat now." The master said. "What is meat?" He asked.
"It is sustenance, sir." This time it was the voice of a young girl.
The master didn't say anything, and proceeded to the next person in line.
"What is sustenance?" He asked.
"It is fuel for our operation, sir." A young boy replied.
Again, there was no reply, but the master's footsteps rang as he walked down the line.
"What does it mean to operate?" He asked.
"It means to maintain function until the order can be carried out, sir."
The master stepped forwards again, and this time he stood before me. I could see the barrel of the gun in his hand as it raised and pointed at my face.
I did not blink, nor did I move. Anyone who could not control themselves enough to stare straight down that barrel had been shot and converted into meat long ago.
"What is the order?" The master asked me.
"To serve the Imperium by eliminating the target, sir." I answered.
The pistol lowered and the master walked away from us.
"150 pushups, starting now. All who fail will be added to today's sustenance." He said, and we all got down from where we stood and began following his orders.
—-------------------------------------------------
I felt nothing at the time. I could not afford to feel anything. Feelings were a loss of control. But now, I could see and feel things that I should not from that voice. I heard a bird sing and thought it was beautiful. I heard the trickle of water and felt calm.
I scrunch my eyes shut and grit my teeth while covering my ears with both hands.
Exitus Acta Probat. Exitus Acta Probat. Exitus Acta Probat.
The outcome justifies the deed.
The outcome justifies the deed.
The outcome justifies the deed.
I repeated the master's words over and over in my head to block out the voice.
We had a purpose, and what we went through was just a part of producing the necessary outcome. It was normal. It was natural. It was the way the world worked.
A smooth skinned hand wrapped around my forearm, and pulled me up away from the bed.
I lashed out, striking out with my free fist blindly.
I cannot lose control. I cannot lose control. I cannot lose control.
A weapon that cannot be controlled cannot carry out its function. A failure to carry out function is a failure of operation. A failure of operation means being converted into meat.
I do not want to be converted into meat.
A soft hand placed itself behind my head, and pressed my face into something soft. I smell the sweet scents of flowers.
No, it is just the scent of the reproductive organ of a plant. The master taught us that they draw in insects to use them with their smell. The source of this smell is just trying to trick me. It is just another trap, another method to make me lose control.
If I lose control, I will be converted into meat, like all the others who lost control.
I struggle to get away from the hands that hold me. I cannot be near whatever this is. I need to retreat and reconsider my options. I have to re-establish control. I need to…
A lullaby begins next to my ear. The musical voice… Her musical voice brings back memories I had buried long ago.
I wasn't always in that dark place. I wasn't always fighting to survive for every second of my life.
There were two people who took care of me. There was a man and a woman. I used to laugh and run around them. But, I can't remember their names or faces.
Family. That was what I used to have.
Water comes out of my eyes, and I scream into the breast of the person holding me, letting out a muffled howl against their skin.
Soft fingers caress the back of my head as her other hand pats me on the back.
"Mama!" I cry. "Mama!"
That was what I used to say when I dove into the arms of the woman who was my family.
My body went limp as I cried and cried, soaking the white fabric of her clothing.
She held me the entire time, singing softly as she cradled me.
Eventually, voice hoarse and head heavy, I fell asleep in her arms.
—-------------------------------------------------
I awoke again in the same soft bed I woke up in last night. Daylight shone through a number of high-up windows. I could hear other children waking up around me. Their breathing was getting shallower and quicker.
Slowly, I pushed myself out of the bed. We were in a large room with smooth white walls and red carpeted floors. I felt the fabric with my feet, testing its safety. It was soft, but there was definite hard ground underneath it.
There were many many beds filled with children around me. I counted the number of rows top and bottom, and did some quick multiplication. There were almost a thousand of us here. I could recognize some from the stone sparring arenas we had been forced to live in. I did not know their names. None of us had any. A weapon does not have a name.
"Good morning Lorien." A husky feminine voice came from behind me, and I whipped around. I felt no presence there. I heard no breathing. There should have been no one behind me.
My eyes met a pair of gray eyes belonging to a woman with pointed ears and red hair kneeling by my bed. Behind her, I saw a few hundred other women with the same ears but different colored hair walking amongst the beds, waking the other children. They were all very tall and willowy. Yet, they all moved like the master used to. Precise, perfectly balanced, and with purpose.
"If you are awake, then get out of your bed." The woman said sternly. "There is much to do today Lorien."
It was at this point I realized she was referring to me with that name. The red haired woman sighed and stood up.
"My name is Elalindra." She said, turning to the children around me. "I and the other women here will be looking after you from today. Sit there staring any longer and you will miss the morning meal. Now, stand up and make your beds."
—-------------------------------------------------
'At the same time', an Aeldari with blond hair and silver eyes stood before the Emperor beside a woman of Arabian descent. Both wore brown cloaks, but the hood part was off at the moment.
"One day after your arrival and you're already causing mischief." Neoth grumbled.
The three of them were in his office within the Sanctum Imperialis. Several pieces of ancient Terran artwork and literature were placed on the walls, or encased behind plexiglass cases on marble plinths. A stained glass window was behind the massive desk that they all stood in front of, coloring the light that shined through it and painting the wall and floor in several different hues.
He was standing before them, like the headmaster of a school before two regular troublemakers.
"It was at your mother's invitation." Isha shrugged. "I may be an accomplice, but shouldn't you direct your first complaint towards the instigator?"
"Hush now." Erda pouted. "These things often start at the bottom, then go to the top. If I am the one who envisioned this act, then it is natural that you should take the blame first before anyone gets to me."
"So, you mean to cut me off like a lizard's tail?" Isha snorted.
"It is the duty of a servant to protect their master." Erda laughed with one hand covering her mouth. "Even if it is just a farce, you could try to at least act like you're buying time for me."
"We were summoned here together." Isha huffed. "I think it is too late to avoid whatever comeuppance is coming."
"Enough." The Emperor's voice was calm, but there was a heaviness to it that was not there before. "I've talked to the Director Primus of each assassin temple." He continued in the same tone. "Since the remaining initiates think the others are dead, they cannot re-matriculate the children you took into their temples. The mental conditioning will not be as effective if those they thought dead came back." His eyes turned upon Isha, and she met his gaze defiantly. "In addition, as long as you continue visiting each temple to show off the 'beast', they have no issue with you taking the children who fail from now on." The Emperor blinked once, then softened his features as he chuckled a little. "I even have requests from some of them to make the 'performance' more visceral."
"Is that so?" Isha replied, voice dripping with sarcasm. "I can conduct a live demonstration upon their bodies if they wish."
"The addition of the sound of crunching bones or a little spray of blood when you swallow them will be enough, according to them." Neoth replied, remembering what the Director Primus of the Vindicare Temple had said to him.
—-------------------------------------------------
"It will save us the time getting the initiates used to the sound of violence." The bald assassin had stated over a communicator after finishing his report regarding the interruption caused by Isha and Erda to the Emperor.
"Will this not interfere with your operations?" The Emperor asked in return.
"I am an assassin." Vindicare replied. "No operation has the perfect environment. If the conditions change, then adaptation is necessary to complete the order."
"This is a large interruption." The Emperor pointed out. "Is your decision unaffected by the individuals involved?" Both Isha and Erda were powerful beings in more ways than one. If the Director Primus was compromising out of fear, that would be a greater problem than what the two goddesses had done. The assassin temples could not be allowed to cowed or threatened by anything.
There was a short pause, then the Vindicare assassin resumed speaking. "It is the same as taking a shot from a distance." He said, using what he knew best as an analogy. "Wind speed. Humidity. Lighting. The position of the target. All of these are out of our control, but that gives us no reason not to make the shot. Correction is all that is necessary to take out the target. The actions of Lady Erda and her guest are another factor out of my control. As an assassin, it is my responsibility to take them into account, and use them to my advantage if possible."
—-------------------------------------------------
"Fine." Isha replied. "If it's just sounds and a bit of red liquid, I can add that to the deception."
Neoth nodded, then turned towards the other goddess.
"As for you Erda, the matter is more serious." The Emperor said with a grim look on his face. "Why didn't you come to me before you acted?"
"I've told you my thoughts about the assassin temples." Erda replied, returning his glare. "107 children would not have made it if we had arrived a second later."
"My Imperium murders thousands everyday." The Emperor's boots rang against the marble floor as he stepped to stand in front of Erda. "In the past hour alone, my Thunder Warriors have ended the lives of over 500 humans of all ages on this planet. Will you interfere with them as well without asking me?" His shadow loomed over her as he looked down at her.
"If it will save a life that I can, I will." She replied, unafraid, unmoved by the threatening posture.
The air seemed to grow heavier as the two stood there, and the pages of various books turned on their own behind the plexiglass as the paintings on the wall shook.
"As the Emperor of this Imperium, I cannot allow that." He finally said. "The children you saved will remain with Isha, and she can continue collecting the dropouts. Their food, clothing, and other amenities will be provided by the Imperial Palace's budget." The doors to the Emperor's office opened and two Custodes in dark gray armor, ornamented with gold, with red pauldrons marched in.
"However, you will remain in my laboratory from now on." The Emperor said as Erda watched the two Custodes from the Shadowkeeper Shield Host approach her. "I will have two of my Custodes escort you and LE-2 there. If you need to speak with me or do something outside the laboratory, then you will have to gain my approval through them."
"So, you will imprison me?" Erda said sadly as she turned back to the Emperor.
The Shadowkeeper Shield Host were the battalion of Custodes that acted as the wardens of the Dark Cells. It was their duty to ensure dangerous objects and individuals from Old Night remained where the Emperor had left them.
"This Imperium is not a playground." The Emperor said grimly. "There are procedures and laws that must be obeyed."
Erda bowed her head and remained silent.
"Take her back to her shuttle and return her and LE-2 to my laboratory." The Emperor said as he looked up to his Custodes. The two jailers nodded and walked towards Erda. One offered his hand to her, as a gentleman would to a lady who needed an escort. Erda gave the Emperor a sad smile before turning and accepting the hand of the Custodes. The Shadowkeeper who took her hand turned and began to lead her out of the Emperor's office, as the other took up the rearguard position behind her.
Isha held her tongue until the three of them had left, then turned towards the Emperor.
"You imprison your own mother but let the alien free?" She said angrily.
What happened to Erda was unfair. The mother of humanity could not be expected to ask for permission for every act. If there was a child about to be hit by a truck, one does not go to the police to ask if they can be allowed to jaywalk to save them.
"As much as I would like to blame you, you were just a tool in this situation." The Emperor growled as he walked around his desk and sat behind it. "Additionally, I can tell where you are at any time as well as what you are doing through the scar I left. That was why I allowed your little venture when I sensed you nearing the assassin temples in the first place. Not to mention, Lady Callidus was with you, and it was she who kept me updated on the situation."
"Then isn't this a little excessive?" Isha gestured to the door Erda had left from. "There was no harm done."
"It is the principle of the matter." The Emperor's right fist clenched as he spoke. "What happens when there is nobody near her to inform me of what is going on? What happens if she acts against me in a way that I cannot cover up?"
This act had taken place in complete secrecy, but there was no guarantee the next interference would. If the Emperor was not at least notified, the consequences may expose Erda and some of the more sensitive projects associated with her.
Having the Imperial Assassins follow her or monitor was not a guarantee either. Erda's strict refusal to call them by their names indicated that she merely stomached what they did to create more of their number. If she wanted to, there was a good chance she could evade or eliminate them.
"Every critical failure is preceded by smaller faults." Neoth said as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "Erda's flaunting of protocol is one such fault that cannot be allowed to grow into a failure."
"She acts in humanity's interests as a whole." Isha huffed.
Erda's acts were not random, nor were they totally selfish. She moved to save as many people as she could. After all, that was the way she had been envisioned as the mother of humanity.
"Yet, she is powerless to save it." The Emperor replied grimly.
Isha sighed, then walked around the Emperor's desk right up to his chair. The height difference between them meant that she still had to look upwards to meet him eye to eye, but she drew close enough to him that they were mere centimeters apart.
"I will warn you, Master of Mankind." She whispered, stressing the last word of his title. "Erda is not a human who can be convinced. Her priorities cannot be changed by using a carrot and a stick. She may look and act human, but there will be dire consequences for treating her like one. You may buy time by cajoling her into doing what you want with force, but she is just like you. She will do anything to save humanity in the way she sees fit."
"Then, what do you propose?" Neoth said quietly.
"Allow her to act as she needs to, just like my family did in our Pantheon." Isha said as she stared into his eyes. "If you cannot do that, bind her in chains and rob her of all freedom."
Neoth snorted and turned away. "Just like Asuryan and Khaine did to you." He muttered.
That was the result of Isha's and Kurnous's unilateral act of speaking to the Aeldari despite the edict.
"If you want to truly change how she thinks, you would need to engage her in a divine debate just like I did with you." Isha said quietly. "However, I doubt she would survive the process."
"Because she is weakened?" Neoth asked tiredly.
"Because Xozer fell." There was no emotion in Isha's voice, just the pronouncement of a diagnosis she had made based on everything she knew about Erda.
Neoth grit his teeth at the name. "There was no choice." He hissed.
"Perhaps." Isha replied gently. "I do not make a judgment of whether what was done was right or wrong. It is merely the order of events that lead to this sorry situation the both of you are in that I describe."
Neoth closed his eyes as his brow furrowed. For a moment, the two deities sat and stood there for a while.
"Can you help me?" Neoth finally said, face still scrunched up with frustration.
Isha remained silent for a while, and anger deepened Neoth's frown as it began to well up in his heart. Then, she opened her mouth to speak.
"Erda is a deity created when humanity was united on this planet." Isha said softly. "If there is a chance to restore what she was, it is there." Suddenly, she placed a hand on his shoulder, and the skin that touched him flashed gold as similarly colored sparks jumped away from the point of contact. "But, that is a double edged sword, Neoth." Isha's eyes bored into Neoth's own, imploring him to listen. "The closer you get to uniting humanity, the stronger she will become. If she breaks free from the constraints you put on her now before you can reconcile with her, I do not know what she will do."
There was only the crackle of golden sparks for a few moments, then Isha pulled away from him.
"I did not expect her to so proactively enlist my assistance in saving some of her children." She said as she stared at the door Erda had left from. "However, as a fellow maternal goddess, I can relate to her motivation for doing so."
"What is it?" Neoth asked.
"Desperation." Isha replied. "Terra cannot support human life, and it is only the technology from before Old Night that allows her children to persist. That fact motivates her to entrust her children to others who can take care of them where she cannot."
Neoth leaned back in his chair and rubbed his face with one hand.
"And I am not one of those she can entrust." His voice was resigned, exhausted, and depressed.
Why else would she keep coming into conflict with him if she could trust him?
There was a flicking sound, and he felt something hit his ear.
"If she didn't, she wouldn't work with you at all." Isha sighed as she crossed her arms. "I guess she doesn't trust you blindly, just like you cannot believe her interference will always have a positive outcome. Hence, she tries to spread her eggs around into different baskets."
Neoth shot her a quizzical look. It was obvious she had just flicked his ear.
"What?" Isha asked irritably as she put her hands on her waist. "Do you regret bringing me to Terra already for complicating your life?"
"... No." Neoth finally replied as he dropped the matter. "I do not understand Erda as a goddess, or as a mother." A small smile crossed his face. "I appreciate your advice. Thank you."
"Advice is not worth anything if it isn't followed, so you do not owe me anything." Isha snorted. "I'll keep it in mind until after you repair your relationship with Erda."
Neoth shook his head, chuckling to himself quietly. He couldn't tell whether it was her way of telling him to hurry up and make amends with Erda, or a roundabout way of cheering him up.
Perhaps this was how Aeldari expressed the phrase 'You can do this!' to each other.
But, most of all, he could feel the nosey and meddlesome parts of Isha's maternal nature coming through. One part irritation, one part impatience, and mostly a desire to see some effort put in to make things better.
Taking in a deep breath, he reset the atmosphere of the room.
"It isn't related to this, but I have something for you." He said, changing the subject.
"Don't you mean someone?" Isha said as she narrowed her eyes.
"You really are no fun." Neoth sighed as he leaned back in his chair again.
"Half of my children's blood runs through his veins. I can sense him approaching." Isha snorted.
Neoth sighed, then returned to his persona as the Emperor.
"Malcador has released Ael Wyntor and the body of your child." He announced as he rose from his chair. "I decided to have both of them sent here, since the rooms below are occupied with your future diplomats."
"He seems scared and uncertain." Isha commented. "I wonder if I can go give Malcador a flick on the forehead." An angry smile began to twist the ends of her mouth upwards.
"I would appreciate it if you didn't." Neoth warned as the doors to his office opened again.
A/N: I don't usually do these post chapter A/Ns, but I felt it worth it since I didn't get the opportunity to explain why the tone might have shifted from comedy to grimdark really quickly in the text.
As depicted in the side stories, what happened to the Aeldari during the War in Heaven was horrific. As the Aeldari reincarnate, they are effectively stuck in a death loop fighting an enemy that defies all reason with no end in sight. Isha had to watch that for millions of years, so she is used to seeing extreme stress and trauma.
Erda is also hardened to suffering, as she has watched humanity since its birth. She knows just how cruel they can be to one another, and the almost unlimited amount of suffering they can create.
The training that these children endured is mundane from that perspective. It may be horrible, but it could be worse. As Erda mentoined, these orphans had a high chance of ending up on the streets without the Imperial Assassin Temples. If they were left to become street urchin, an infinitely small number might have been adopted or rescued by some good samaritan. However, it would be much more likely that they would end up dying from hunger, dehydration, violent crime, or in the process of some pervert's depraved hobby. In that light, death during training in the Assassin Temples is not the worst thing that could have happened to them. At the very least, their suffering is for a utilitarian good. All the other death would have truly been for no purpose.
If killing tens of thousands of children creates an assassin who can stop a civil war that will destroy even more lives, then that trade is worth it.
This is why Erda stomachs the creation of the Imperial Assassins. However, she is still quite bitter about what happens to the children, and that is apparent in the way she talks to Callidus. It is in some senses an unreasonable outburst of anger, but Erda herself is not a 100% reasonable individual.
Neoth is not given the same treatment for two main reasons.
1. This is not the worst thing he has ever done.
2. Treating him that way would be counter-productive. He would become even more entrenched and less responsive to anything Erda would say if she pushed him away from her in the same manner.
The assassins' emotions are already dead. They either don't care that Erda is angry with them as they know she will not interfere, or understand Erda's anger as an unfortunate but predictable response to their actions. She knows this, which is why she allows herself this small bit of spite towards them.
In a sense, this shows some of her more caring tendencies. The only direct acts against any human she takes are effectively meaningless or harmless, as the individuals involved either do not care about it or can live with it.
Another reason the deities can go from joking or laughing about things to topics of death and destruction is because the deities actively try to dwell on the positive side of things. Isha in particular described this the best for herself in Chapter 26:
Chapter 26: Cultural exchange said:
It is analagous to the gallows humor many police, firefighters, morticians, paramedics, and ER nurses use to get through their daily life while being exposed to horrific events. (e.g. accidents, crimes, deaths, and injury of all manner)
