Gacha Harem King DxD

[Isano]

Commission for Deus Ex Mima
The sun hung low in the sky bathing Kuoh Academy in a warm golden glow. The air was filled with the sounds of beautiful girls living their youth. Tennis balls thwacked against rackets, sneakers squeaked on the track, and the distant splash of the swimming club echoed from the poolside. Students roamed the school grounds, enjoying their after-school activities, scattered across the school grounds engaged in their respective clubs with focus and passion.

Except for three.

Near the girl's kendo club changing room behind the gym building, nestled deep in the shadows of the bushes, a far less wholesome activity was underway.

"Hurry up, Motohama! You've been at the peephole for like five minutes!" Matsuda hissed, hunched behind a bush and sweating nervously.

"Okay, okay, just a little more... I think I can see a bra strap!" Motohama whispered, sweat beading down his forehead in anticipation.

"Move over, dammit! You've hogged the peephole long enough!" Issei hissed, trying to push his friend aside with one hand.

"I called dibs on Thursdays!" Motohama snapped back. "It's in the pervert pact!"

"You can't just dibs a day, you lecherous bastard!"

"You don't even see anything through those lenses anyway!"

Off to the side, crouched low but not particularly stealthy, Issei Hyoudou rolled his eyes and whispered urgently. "Guys, guys, shut up! We'll get caught if you keep—!"

Too late.

Behind them, various shadows fell over the trio.

A voice, low and terrifying, cut through the air like a sword through paper, sending a chill that ran down Issei's spine.

"...You three have exactly ten seconds to explain what you're doing."

That voice. Issei didn't need to look. He knew that voice like the back of his hand. He turned around slowly, dread pooling in his stomach.

There, standing tall with shinai in hand and death in her eyes, was Murayama, vice-captain of the girls' kendo club. Her shoulder-length brown hair was tied back in a tight ponytail, and her glare could have turned a lesser man to stone.

Beside her stood Katase, smiling sweetly—but with a twitch in her eye that spoke of barely-contained murder.

Behind them, the entire kendo team stood in formation, shinai at the ready.

Matsuda, who had won in looking through the peephole, froze. Motohama whimpered audibly.

Issei could only whisper, "We're dead."

Matsuda whimpered. "W-We can explain—!"

Motohama threw his notepad into a bush. "This was Issei's idea!"

Issei pointed at them both. "I TOLD YOU IDIOTS TO SHUT UP!"

Katase cracked her knuckles. "You know, I was just telling the girls how we needed more practice swings today."

Murayama raised her shinai, voice calm. "I think thirty hits each should be enough."

The trio didn't wait for clarification.

"RUUUUUUUN!" Matsuda screamed.

Too slow.

The kendo club descended upon them like a storm of vengeance. Screams echoed across the courtyard. Shinai met flesh. Dust clouds erupted.

"MY GLASSES—!"

"NOT THE FACE!

"OH GODS IT HURTS!"

From across the track field, a group of freshmen paused their running drills and looked over in confusion.

"…Do they do this every week?" one asked.

"Yeah," the other replied. "Sometimes twice."

—------------------------------------------

In a far corner of the schoolyard, far from the tennis courts and the watchful eyes of authority, three battered boys lay sprawled across the grass.

Motohama gingerly clutched his ribs, wincing, his glasses cracked and hanging loosely off one ear. "Ugh… why do they always go for the kidneys?!"

Matsuda had a lump on his forehead the size of a rice ball and his shirt ripped down the side. "Why'd they have to hit so hard?"

"Right?" Motohama groaned, readjusting his frames. "Katase said she didn't want to see us anymore. That we'll die as single, perverted losers…" He trailed off and looked down at the ground, the weight of the truth hitting like another shinai.

Matsuda sniffled, lips trembling. "She said I'd scare girls off for the rest of my life…"

Issei sat upright, arms crossed, a large bump forming on his forehead but his eyes… distant. Thinking.

There was a long silence.

Both boys began to slump over in defeat, their eyes hollow like broken war veterans.

"…We're doomed, man." Matsuda gave a loud, dramatic sniff. "We will never be a man girls would want."

"We'll never know the soft touch of love. Just the cold sting of rejection."

Issei sat quietly at first, arms crossed and head lowered, scuffed and sore like the rest. But then. His fingers clenched. His jaw tightened. And something inside him—some unyielding, stupidly optimistic, horny flame—flared to life.

"No…"

Matsuda looked up. "Huh?"

Issei stood. "No!"

Motohama squinted. "Bro?"

Issei took two steps forward, then threw his arms to the sky.

"NOOOOOO!!! I REFUSE TO DIE ALONE!!"

He clenched his fists to the heavens, bruised knuckles trembling.

"I WILL BECOME HAREM KING!!"

A bird took off from a nearby branch.

The breeze carried his voice across the schoolyard.

The girls around the track field all turned in unison.

There was silence.

Then one girl blinked. "Was that Hyoudou?"

"Ugh, gross."

"Creep."

"Is he seriously yelling that out loud?"

One girl cringed so hard she almost tripped.

Issei stood proud.

He didn't care.

His heart burned with conviction. Even as blood ran down his nose, even as his dignity fled into the sunset, he believed.

Motohama, for all his bruises and cracked pride, stared at him with something akin to awe. "He's serious…"

Matsuda wiped a tear. "The dude never gives up…"

The two looked at each other. A spark returned to their eyes.

"…Let's never stop dreaming," Matsuda said.

"…Even if it's delusional and mostly illegal," Motohama added.

Then they both stood, fists clenched.

"TO THE FUTURE!" they declared together.

The trio high-fived with the power of shared delusion and a complete lack of shame.

Then Matsuda paused. "So… what now?"

Then Motohama cleared his throat. "So… uh, you guys wanna come over later? I just downloaded some very rare videos. Magical girls. With plot."

Matsuda perked up. "Sweet! Count me in—"

"Pass," Issei interrupted, raising a hand. "My mom's making grilled chicken tonight. No way I'm missing that."

Matsuda groaned. "Lucky…"

Motohama adjusted his glasses. "Fine. Enjoy your family dinner, traitor."

"Gladly." Issei grinned, already thinking of the crispy skin and soy-garlic glaze waiting for him.

The trio started walking toward the gates.

"Later, guys!" Issei waved.

"See you guys tomorrow." Matsuda called.

"Alright, guess I'll head home too," Motohama shrugged. "I need to re-glue the left temple of my glasses."

With that, the three went their separate ways under the orange hue of the setting sun.

None of them knew that Issei's bold declaration had reached ears far beyond the school grounds.

Ears that did not belong to anything of this world.

And something stirred in the void beyond space and time… Very amused.

—----------------------
The scent of grilled chicken wafted warmly through the small, cozy kitchen of the Hyoudou household.

Issei Hyoudou, resident pervert, high school student, and self-proclaimed future Harem King, was living his best life—at least for tonight.

"Ahhhh—this is the good stuff." Issei sighed, slumping back in his chair, a second helping of chicken still half-stuffed in his mouth. He chewed lazily, his grin wide, his eyes half-lidded in satisfaction.

His mom, a kind-looking woman with a soft bob cut and gentle eyes, giggled from across the table. "You're going to get fat, you know."

"I'll burn it off," Issei mumbled, words muffled by chicken.

His dad gave a chuckle, lifting a piece of thigh with his chopsticks. "Let the boy enjoy it. He's growing."

And then—just as Issei reached for a third helping—the world stopped.

The moment his fingers brushed the plate, a strange pressure prickled the air. His breath caught. His muscles stiffened. When he looked around he noticed that his parents were frozen in place with them holding chopsticks close to their mouths. "Uh… Mom? Dad?"

Nothing.

And then came the voice.

"Your wish... has amused me." The words sliced through the frozen moment like an echo from beneath the ocean.

Issei choked violently on the piece of chicken he was eating. "Glrk—wha?!"

His vision blurred, panic rising. But before he could even stand or scream, the air above the table ripped open with a grotesque, wet squelch. The kind of sound you'd expect from a stomach tearing in reverse.

A rift—violet and swirling, its edges pulsating like breathing flesh—hung above the dinner table. The overhead light flickered erratically despite time itself being halted. Faint cracks spider-webbed across the ceiling and walls as if reality were fracturing under pressure.

The air turned thick and humid, like the breath of something massive just exhaled into the room.

Issei couldn't move. Not from paralysis—but from sheer, dumb, overwhelming fear. His brain refused to acknowledge what he was seeing. A sense of wrongness pressed into his skin, his bones, even his soul.

And then—he felt something.

Something brushed against existence. Not seen, not heard, but known. A presence that slithered along the folds of time and space, brushing against him like a sea of tendrils made of whispering memories. In the back of his skull, he heard:

Laughter.

It wasn't human. It wasn't sane. It was the sound of galaxies collapsing, of prayers being swallowed by black holes.

And then the voice spoke again—feminine, silky, unholy. "Congratulations, mortal! You desire for a harem above all else was heard. Your soul radiates enough unholy thirst to rival a thousand cultists. A noble wish, truly. And one I can respect."

Issei tried to scream but only managed a strangled. "Nghhhhh?"

"I am Shub-Niggurath, the Mother of a Thousand Young. And I shall bless you. Behold: the Harem Gacha System."

A glowing black-and-pink screen materialized over his face.

[ Harem Gacha System Initialized. ]

[ Congratulations, host, on winning the blessings of the Mother of a Thousand Young. ]

[ First 3 pulls: FREE. ]

"...What," Issei breathed, voice dry.

"Spin the wheel, O Seeker of Lewdness. Let fate deliver your brides."

Before he could even move, the screen changed on its own. A roulette wheel appears on the screen, neon and spinning at dizzying speeds.

There were names. Hundreds of them. Maybe thousands. Each name was a girl. Some in Japanese. Others in languages he couldn't understand.

"Waitwaitwait—WHAT'S HAPPENING?!"

DING!

The roulette stopped abruptly.

Roll 1: Nyaruko

Light vanished. Then—

BOOM.

A massive burst of white-pink energy detonated above the table like a fireworks display on acid.

In the middle of the table standing atop the plate with her frilly black dress fluttering and chicken juices soaking into her boots was a silver-haired girl with a long ahoge, bright green eyes, and an impossible amount of energy.

She struck a pose with both hands forming finger guns, winking like an idol mid-performance.

"YAAATTAAA~! NYARUKO-CHAN HAS ARRIVED TO PROTECT HER DEAREST DARLING!"

Her voice was high-pitched, energetic, far too cheerful. Her dress was absurdly frilly, her expression manic, and her whole existence screamed too much energy.

Issei's brain blue-screened. He stared. "What."

She grinned wide. "Ooooh~ so this is my summoner, huh?" Nyaruko leaned forward, inspecting Issei like he was an ultra-rare gacha pull himself. "I knew you'd be cute, but this cute? Ufufu~! I'll devour you later in ways you can't imagine!"

Issei's mouth opened but made no sound. 'Did she just say devour—wait no she called me cute? WHAT IS GOING ON?'

Nyaruko beamed. "I'm here to protect you, flirt with you, possibly smother you with love, and punch things that annoy you! Possibly in that order~!"

Before Issei could scream or run or even question if this was a very cursed fever dream, she pounced.

"EEK—!"

She jumped from the table like a predator leaping onto prey, and in one fluid motion, tackled him out of his chair and onto the floor.

Issei hit the tatami mat with a grunt.

Then everything stopped.

He blinked up—into two huge, soft, warm mounds pressing into his face.

Silence.

The world… slowed.

He was being smothered by Oppai. Actual, full-sized, unfiltered, oppai. His perverted brain activated like a sleeper agent hearing the right code phrase. 'Warm… soft… they're real!'

For a full three seconds, Issei forgot that a hole in reality had opened, that his dinner had been hijacked, and that his sanity was actively leaking out of his ears.

He simply sank into Nyaruko's chest, muffling a quiet, blissful, "Oppai!"

Nyaruko giggled, wrapping her arms around him tighter like a clingy octopus in love. "My darling~ You feel even better than I imagined! And I have an active imagination!"

Issei's mind, despite being fried by sensory overload, briefly flashed to the on-screen text floating above them.

[Roll 1 complete.]

And just under that, in smaller font:

[Note: The summoned variant of Nyaruko is one hundred percent consensual, and the love meter is at 100%. Please enjoy yourself responsibly.]

He tried to speak but only managed a muffled, "Mmmph—" into her cleavage.


Soon the roulette started to spin again with each name passing waiting to be chosen. It spined faster and faster until it stared to slow down and land on another name.

Roll 2: Kaguya Houraisan

Reality glitched as a bright light suddenly took over.

A voice calm, delicate, yet condescending cut through the air. "So this is the modern human world? And you must be the one who summoned me?"

The light faded, revealing a young woman standing gracefully on the dinner table, seemingly unbothered that her shoes were next to a plate of grilled chicken. She wore a resplendent red-and-pink kimono layered with silken fabrics that shimmered. Her long, straight black hair flowed past her waist.

Her dark brown eyes swept across the room, half-lidded and unimpressed. They held the weight of centuries, the exhaustion of an immortal woman who had once bathed in divine luxury and was now standing in a suburban kitchen beside a chaos entity spooning a high schooler.

Issei stared from the floor, still half-pinned under Nyaruko, who was now aggressively petting his hair like a favorite pet cat.

"…What," Issei breathed.

Kaguya's eyes narrowed slightly. "I suppose I can tolerate your presence. I've been bored for centuries. So do entertain me, peasant."

Nyaruko stopped petting just long enough to pout. "Oi, I saw him first, you mooch!"

Kaguya ignored her entirely.

She took a slow, graceful step down from the table, her geta sandals tapping lightly against the wood and surveyed the humble kitchen with a regal disdain. The cracked walls. The frozen parents. The lingering scent of soy and garlic chicken.

"This home is… quaint," she murmured, as if trying not to inhale too deeply. "Your dining room lacks much. Where is the court orchestra?"

Issei, still lost in Nyaruko's cleavage, looked at his newest summon and noticed just how small she was.

Kaguya sighed deeply, folding her arms beneath her sleeves like a disappointed monarch. "If I must be your wife, then I expect at least a gold-plated tea set, a personal staff of attendants, and 500-year-aged sake at minimum. You should feel lucky if it was before I would have sent you to five impossible quests to even give you a chance at being worthy of being my husband."

The floating screen soon chimed again.

[Roll 2 Complete.]

[Note: Kaguya is 100% consenting, immortal, princess of the moon, unreasonably proud. Love meter at 15%]

Issei stared and stared harder.

Issei simply continued to look at her, hoping by staring long enough the little girl would transform into a busty onee-san. Unfortunately, no matter how hard he tried to will it, Kaguya remained her perfectly petite, immortal self. Not a curve in sight beyond the flowing lines of her layered kimono.

Nyaruko, still latched onto him, puffed her cheeks. "Excuse me, little girl. I'm already fulfilling the position of clingy, affectionate waifu #1!" She huffed, arms wrapped possessively around Issei's torso.

Kaguya tilted her head just slightly. "You can go around calling yourself whatever you want. But I shall be the formal wife, seeing as I am royalty."

Issei tensed.

Nyaruko's ahoge visibly bristled. "Care to repeat that, grandma?"

Issei tried to crawl away, only to be yanked back into Nyaruko's hold.

Kaguya's smile was small and terrifying. "I suppose you can be the court jester for me and my husband."

Nyaruko released Issei in a swift motion and reached under her frilly black skirt. "WHAT WAS THAT YOU SPOILED BRAT?!"

Issei barely had time to process what he was seeing before she whipped out—a bright red crowbar.

"WHERE DID YOU EVEN GET THAT?!" He yelped

Kaguya stood, her expression unbothered, but the air around her shimmered slightly with magical tension.

Issei panicked. "NOPE. NOPE. WE ARE NOT DESTROYING MY HOUSE!" He threw himself between them, arms stretched out. "TIME OUT! STOP!"

To his immense relief, both girls froze. Nyaruko paused mid-swing. Kaguya blinked and released her hold on her power.

After a long, heavy sigh, Issei slowly lowered his arms and sat down. "Okay… okay. Just… what the hell is going on?" He turned to them, pleading with his eyes. "Seriously, who even are you two? Why are you here? And what is this 'gacha' system even supposed to be?!"

Kaguya let out a quiet breath. "Tch. Fine. I suppose I shall enlighten you, since you are clearly incapable of grasping the situation on your own."

Nyaruko rolled her eyes, but flopped down beside Issei, listening.

Kaguya's eyes softened as she spoke, voice calm and cool. "You, Issei Hyoudou, have been selected by a higher power to be the host of the Harem Gacha System."

Issei blinked. "The what?"

"The Harem Gacha System," Kaguya repeated, as if correcting a particularly slow servant. "It allows you to summon variants of women from across the multiverse. When one of us is summoned, we arrive here as a copy of the original, ourselves included, have consented to being part of this system."

Issei's jaw dropped. "Wait… you're copies?"

"Yes," she confirmed. "We're not the originals, but perfect replicas of them, memories, feelings, skills, and essence. When we are summoned, we are born with the knowledge of why we're here and we instantly know you're the host, knowing what's expected." She raised her chin slightly. "However… Just because we are summoned to be part of your harem does not mean we have to love you. Nor do we have to like you."

Issei flinched.

"I, for instance," Kaguya continued, "acknowledge that you will be my husband. But that does not mean I accept you as you are. I am royalty and I demand more."

She leaned closer, dark eyes sharp. "Still… the fact that a higher being chose you must mean there is something worthy within you. So… I shall observe. And train you to become a man deserving of my hand."

Issei didn't know what to say.

Then. "Darling~!" Nyaruko chirped, wrapping around him again. "Don't listen to the uptight lunar goblin! You don't have to worry about anything~! I'm already hopelessly in love with you~! And I alone is enough!" She nuzzled into his neck, eyes shining. "Your face! Your voice! Your smell! Your heartbeat! Your lust! Sweet, dense, confused, and easy to cuddle! Everything about you is perfect~!"

'TOO CLOSE TOO FAST TOO SOFT TOO HOT TOO—' Issei's face went red as steam shot from his ears. "Wh-Wh-WHAT?!"

"Ahem," Kaguya interrupted, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear with practiced elegance. "It doesn't matter how intense your obsession is. I will still be the legal wife. My beauty and nobility are unmatched."

That snapped Issei out of his daze. He turned to Kaguya, blinking slowly and said, with no hesitation. "Sorry, but… I'm not interested in kids."

Silence.

Then—

"PFFFHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA—!!" Nyaruko fell over laughing, rolling across the floor, crowbar clattering beside her. "Oh my gods! He rejected you!"

Kaguya's expression shattered like porcelain. She took a step back, utterly shocked. "Y-You… What did you say?"

Issei tilted his head. "I'm not into lolis. I like busty onee-sans. You're cute and all, but, uh… yeah. You're not my type."

Kaguya stood frozen, processing the first rejection she had received in centuries. Maybe ever. 'He rejected me? Me? Princess Kaguya? The immortal beauty of the moon? Men used to wage wars over me, and this… this suburban boy says no?'

"You…" Kaguya's voice trembled. "You're rejecting me? Me? The Moon Princess? The one whose beauty caused wars? Countless men prostrated themselves for a single glance at my face!"

"Yeah, well," Issei shrugged, "I'm not 'countless men.' I have a type. Big soft bouncy Onee-san." His eyes glazed over for a second. "And I'm not interested in becoming a lolicon."

Kaguya's hands clenched. "Why not?! What could you possibly prefer over perfection?!"

Nyaruko continued laughing like she was watching a premium comedy special.

Kaguya slowly turned her back to them, her voice cold and sharp. "Very well. Then I shall train you harder."

Issei flinched. "Wait, wha—"

She turned, eyes gleaming. "You will not remain an embarrassment forever. You will become a man worthy of my love, my body. Or die trying."

Before Issei could respond. Soon the roulette on screen started to spin again with each name passing waiting to be chosen. It spined faster and faster until it stared to slow down and land on another name.

Issei's head shot up. "Again?"

Roll 3: Evangeline A.K. McDowell

A column of light erupted in the room. Out of the light stepped a petite girl with long, luxurious blonde hair and blue eyes. She wore a gothic black dress lined with silver embroidery and moved with quiet, imperious confidence.

She landed softly on the floor unlike the other two, and immediately gave the room a once-over and her summoner.

"...Seriously?" She muttered in a British accent in a low, annoyed voice. "This is who I got stuck with?"

Issei was already kneeling from despair the moment he saw the next girl he summoned.. His eyes were wide with disbelief, hands to the sky. "Why? Why did I get another loli? I'm not a damn lolicon!"

The blonde's gaze snapped to him, ice crackling at her heels. "Excuse me?" She said flatly. Her voice had the weight of unspoken death. "Do you want to die, human?"

Issei paled and got up as he was being rude. "I mean—uh—welcome to my house?"

Eva narrowed her eyes. "Hmph. At least you know how to grovel."

Behind him, Nyaruko squealed happily. "Yattta! Another little girl. Less competition for best girl of this harem!" She did not see any threat around her as her darling had different tastes.

"Oi," Issei muttered, still pale, "don't say that like it's a good thing…"

Eva sighed and gestured with a hand. The air briefly got colder, and the floor beneath her feet started to grow ice. "I'm only going to say this once. You may be my summoner but that doesn't mean I will be your little wife." She threatened.

Nyaruko gasped, raising her crowbar again. "How dare you threaten my darling!"

"Touch me," Eva cut her off, raising a single finger, "And I'll freeze you, shatter you, and turn your remains into a snow globe."

Issei threw up his hands. "Okay! Everyone chill—wait, no, bad choice of words!"

Just then, the system chimed again, glowing with a soft final ping.

[Roll 3 Complete.]

[Note: Evangeline is 100% consenting. True vampire witch, deadly tsundere. Love meter: 3%. Proceed with caution.]

"I'll make this clear," Eva said, her voice sharp and clear. "I'm not here because I like you. I'm here because the original me thought this was the only way to escape that cursed school. So don't get any ideas. Touch me, and I will freeze you solid."

Issei quickly tried to pacify her worries. "That's fine. Don't worry, I'm not into little girls and won't force you."

Eva blinked. Then after a beat relaxed her posture. "Hmph. At least you're reasonable." She muttered, letting her frost magic dissipate.

Finally, as the system's task was fulfilled, the distorted world began to knit itself back together.

The rift in the ceiling sealed with a shimmer. The trembling walls quieted. The flickering lights steadied. The very air returned to normal. Time resumed.

Across the table, Miki and Gorou finally stirred from their frozen trance and blinked as they noticed the three girls that magically appeared around her son.

The room fell into stunned silence—until Miki's scream shattered it. "Issei?! Who are these girls and where did they come from?!"

Before Issei could even form a word, Nyaruko turned around with a beaming smile and a hand over her heart. "Hi, Mom-in-law~! Your son is now under my eternal protection and affection! Don't worry—he'll be very safe in my breast!"

Issei facepalmed. Gorou stood slowly, face etched with the look of a man who had seen war—and just now realized he raised a battle-hardened hero.

"…Son," He asked carefully, "is this… your girlfriend?"

Issei opened his mouth, closed it again, then sighed and scratched his cheek. "Not… exactly? It's kind of complicated. So this apparently cosmic being called the Mother of a Thousand Young decided I was worthy of this thing called the 'Harem Gacha System.'" He paused, glancing at the girls seated around the table. "They're… uh… multiversal copies of real people. All of them were summoned by this system."

Miki and Gorou stared at him with identical blank expressions, the same ones parents wear when their child tells them he's about to become a millionaire.

Miki blinked.

Gorou scratched his head. "So... you're telling us these girls were summoned from across dimensions to be your... harem?"

Issei scratched the back of his head. "Y-Yeah... more or less."

His parents continued to stare in stunned silence, their brains visibly buffering.

At the far end of the table, Evangeline rolled her eyes and let out an exasperated sigh. "This is taking far too long," She muttered. Raising one hand, she flicked her fingers. A small magic circle materialized in midair, swirling with glowing glyphs. From it, a frost-tipped icicle formed, hovered briefly above the table, and then shattered into harmless mist.

The room instantly dropped several degrees.

Miki gasped. "That was—was that real magic?!"

Eva sipped her tea calmly. "Obviously."

That was all the confirmation Miki and Gorou needed. The gears in their heads finally clicked into place, and they chose the most natural reaction: move forward and act like everything was normal.

"…Well then," Miki said as she stood up, voice still a little shaky, "I guess we're setting extra places for dinner."

Within minutes, three additional seats were pulled up to the table. Plates of freshly grilled chicken were served to the new guests, steam still curling into the air.

Nyaruko lit up like a child on Christmas.

"OHHHH FOOD!" She shouted, grabbing a leg and took a bite. "Your world's full of delicious food!" She devoured her food with gleeful abandon, sauce smearing her cheeks as she hummed in delight.

Kaguya, on the other hand, sat with a dignified frown. She eyed the plate in front of her like it had personally offended her. "What... is this?" She asked, leaning closer without touching it.

"Chicken," Issei explained.

"I gathered that, peasant. I mean... why is it served like this?"

Issei smiled wryly. "We eat it with our hands."

"With our what?" she recoiled. "That's barbaric!"

Across from her, Nyaruko burped proudly and gave a thumbs up. "Tastes so good."

Kaguya looked at her, then at the food, then at Issei.

Issei gently picked up a piece and held it out. "C'mon, it won't kill you. Look, I'll even show you how to eat it."

He took a bite and grinned.

Kaguya glared... but curiosity got the better of her. With exaggerated reluctance, she picked up the smallest drumstick with the very tips of her fingers.

She sniffed and took a tiny bite. Then froze.

Then—

She devoured the rest like a starving raccoon, tearing into it with a speed that nearly gave Miki whiplash.

Issei blinked. "Whoa."

Her cheeks were messy, her sleeves miraculously still clean, but her pride? Gone. "I-It's not bad," She muttered through full cheeks. "For something so... uncivilized."

Issei chuckled and reached out, gently dabbing her cheek with a napkin. "You got some sauce here. Hold still."

Kaguya turned bright red. "W-Wha—?! Why are you so casual about it?!"

Across the table, Nyaruko paused, blinking.

Then, slowly, she smeared a thick line of sauce across her cheek with her thumb even though she was already dirty. She turned to Issei, batting her eyes. "Darling~ I'm messy too~ Won't you clean me~?"

Issei gave her a flat look. "...You did that on purpose."

"Yes," she giggled. "Now clean me."

He sighed and leaned in, wiping her cheek too.

Nyaruko melted. "So gentle~ It's like being pampered by a husband~"

Evangeline, who had been eating quietly with perfect table etiquette, scoffed under her breath. "Disgraceful," She muttered. "Have you two no shame still eating like toddlers?"

—------------------------------------------------------

From far away in another universe and dimension separated by space and time. A mass of flesh, the Mother of a Thousand Young giggled softly, watching from beyond the veil.

"He wanted a harem… Let's see how much he can handle?" Words that were not words were spoken.

To those wondering why this story was made. This is a commission for Deus Ex Mina. So thank him for allowing me to post this for everyone. And if you want you can make a commission for me to make your idea into a story but only for people at the emperor tier at my pat reon.com/orengeflame. Comment and tell me what you think and if I made any mistakes as these characters are sort of new to me. Kaguya is a character I have vague recollection of, so if she too OoC, I'm sorry.

Commissioners that continue to support me by being part of the emperor tier will get 3 chapters a month but for those that only pay once will continue to get 1 chapter a month. Of course the first month you pay will be an automatic 3

 

[Isano]

The Hyoudou family moved into the living room. The dishes had been cleaned, the chaos momentarily subdued, now it was time to question just who these girls were.

Issei stood beside his parents, arms crossed and brow twitching nervously. Across from them, three very unique girls sat on the couch.

Nyaruko was still bouncing slightly in her seat, humming happily and clinging to one of the couch cushions. Kaguya sat with the grace and poise of nobility, back straight, arms folded within her sleeves, her expression unreadable. Evangeline reclined on the far end with legs crossed, sipping black tea, giving side-eye to everyone with disdain.

Issei gulped. 'Why do I feel like I brought home ticking time bombs?'

Across the room, Miki Hyoudou crossed her arms, her expression dead serious. The warm, smiling mom from dinner was now the woman of the house—and she wanted answers.

Gorou, meanwhile, leaned against the wall. "Still not over the 'ice magic' thing," He muttered.

"That's nothing compared to having the world freeze." Issei replied under his breath.

Finally Miki stepped forward, her eyes sharp. "As his mother, I'd like to properly get to know my new daughters-in-law."

Issei choked on air. "M-Mom?! Daughters-in-law?! W-We're not even dating!!"

Kaguya didn't miss a beat. "Technically, I am the legal wife. The others are concubines."

Nyaruko waved eagerly. "Oho~! Mom-in-law wants to know more about me? I accept this responsibility with pride!"

Eva didn't even look up. "I'm just here against my will."

"Can I go first?! Can I?! I was the first to be summoned after all! Number one waifu, reporting in~!" Nyaruko chirped, bouncing in place.

"Please don't call my mom that…" Issei muttered.

"I think it's adorable," Miki replied flatly. "Go ahead, dear."

Nyaruko practically sprang to her feet and spun on the spot before throwing both hands to her hips and puffing out her chest.

"Okay! So~! My name is Nyaruko, and I am an eldritch alien species from beyond your understanding of reality! I work for the Space Defense Agency, specializing in Space CQC—that's Close Quarters Combat, by the way. My combat rating is top-tier in the multi-galactic registry!"

The Hyoudous stared.

Issei slowly turned to his father. "Did she just say she was an alien?"

Gorou nodded with the numbness of a man who had given up trying to understand. "She sure did, son."

"But you look totally normal," Miki said, blinking. "You're not… green. Or slimy."

Nyaruko giggled, twirling once. "Of course not! This is my human disguise! I made it extra kawaii to fit in!" She leaned closer to Issei, eyes sparkling. "If you want, darling, I can show you my real form~"

Issei's blood turned to ice. "...Wait, what?"

"My true form," Nyaruko said with the pride of someone talking about their favorite Halloween costume, "is a writhing mass of shapeshifting cosmic matter!"

Everyone froze.

Miki turned pale. Gorou stepped back. Kaguya's eyes narrowed in visible alarm.

Eva sat up straighter. "Honestly I kind of want to see it. For science."

Nyaruko tilted her head, and smiled brightly. "Oh, you don't want me to show my true form. Your eyes would bleed, your brains would invert, and your dimension would fold like cheap origami!"

Miki and Gorou took another step back. In sync.

Issei's eye twitched. "You're joking… right?"

She leaned in closer, her eyes glowing just faintly, eldritch light shimmering like a galaxy in her pupils. "Would you like to find out? If it's you, I promise it won't hurt~."

"NOPE!" Issei nearly fell over. "We're good! Stay cute! Cute is safe!"

Even Kaguya was unsettled. "And here I thought I had the most dramatic background."

Eva sipped her tea. "So you're telling us you're a cosmic horror in disguise, and your job is… what again?"

"I'm a Space Police!" Nyaruko answered proudly. "Think Intergalactic TSA, but cuter and with more punching."

She winked and threw a heart pose in Issei's direction. He turned beet red.

Gorou cautiously raised a hand. "So… what exactly is your mission?"

"Ah, excellent question!" Issei added. "Nyaruko?"

She froze mid-pose. Her smile flickered. "Uhhhh… I forgot."

Miki blinked. "You forgot your mission?"

"Well technically," Nyaruko said with a sheepish smile, scratching her cheek, "the original me is still doing it in another universe. I'm just the variant that got summoned here. But I'm sure it was super important! Probably saving a planet or two."

Issei squinted. "So why did you even agree to be summoned here?"

"Because I was bored~!" she declared. "I thought it sounded fun. And now…"

She clasped her hands behind her back, leaning forward with a dazzling smile.

"My new mission is to make you fall madly, hopelessly in love with me and become a real couple~!"

Silence.

Steam visibly poured out of Issei's ears. "W-What kind of mission is that?!"

Miki blinked, unsure if she should laugh or panic. "Well… she's certainly enthusiastic."

Gorou gave Nyaruko a slow, impressed nod. "Girl's got guts."

"She's deranged," Kaguya muttered, glaring.

"I'm passionate!" Nyaruko corrected.

"She's loud," Evangeline sighed.

"I'm devoted and all yours, darling~!" Nyaruko squealed, already glomping on Issei again.

Gorou clapped once. "Well! That's a lot. So! Who's next?"

Miki glanced between Kaguya and Eva with nervous politeness. "Would either of you ladies like to go next?"

Evangeline sighed, lowering her cup slowly. Her red eyes narrowed and gestured subtly toward the middle. "Go on, royalty," She murmured. "Might as well remind everyone how you're better than us."

Kaguya responded with a satisfied hum, straightening her posture with the grace of a ruler addressing her court. Her back was perfectly straight, chin high, eyes half-lidded in cold confidence.

Clearing her throat softly, Kaguya began, her voice smooth and imperious like silk-wrapped steel. "My name," she said with a regal nod, "Is Kaguya Houraisan. I am the exiled Princess of the Moon, of the now-dissolved Lunarian Royal Court. I am over thirteen centuries old and possess the gift and curse of immortality."

The room went still.

Miki blinked.

Issei tilted his head. "Wait, wait—you're also an alien?!"

Kaguya nodded solemnly. "A Lunarian. I hail from the moon. Though the other me, currently resides in disgrace due to unjust punishment and envious nobles."

"What punishment were you given?" Gorou asked carefully.

Her eyes narrowed ever so slightly. "For the crime of consuming the Hourai Elixir, the immortality potion, forbidden even among the divine. As punishment, I was first executed but seeing as I couldn't die, they banished me to Earth. And..."

She paused.

"…This form I wear—" She gestured lightly to her petite figure "—has not aged a day in over a thousand years."

Miki tilted her head. "So… you're like… stuck in that age?"

Kaguya sighed dramatically, as if the weight of her ancient grief still pressed down on her delicate shoulders.

"Yes. I am forever trapped in this body. But despite my appearance, I demand to be treated as the mature and powerful woman I am. Especially you, my husband."

Issei looked away awkwardly. 'She's very serious about that. Still not a busty onee-san, though…'

"Can you tell me more about you then?" Miki asked, trying her best to play along.

Kaguya raised a delicate finger. "Tea. Poetry. The pursuit and acquisition of priceless treasures beyond mortal comprehension."

Miki blinked again. "That's… a list."

"And your abilities?" Gorou added, out of politeness.

Kaguya allowed herself a small, mysterious smile. "I command the powers of eternity and the instantaneous."

The Hyoudous stared.

"Which means…?" Issei asked slowly.

She sighed, ever so slightly exasperated. "I can manipulate time."

"Ah," Miki said, nodding.

Gorou stared at her. "Like… slow it down?"

Kaguya nodded. "Stop it, accelerate it, anchor things beyond it. Time is my plaything."

Issei was already imagining what kind of wild power that looked like in battle. 'Wait, if she could stop time... would she ever let me sleep in?'

There was a pause—until Miki tilted her head thoughtfully. "Wait a second… Kaguya. Isn't that the name of a Japanese fairy tale? The one about the moon princess found in a bamboo stalk?"

Gorou snapped his fingers. "Right! The Tale of the Bamboo Cutter! That's it!"

Kaguya blinked. "What did you say?"

Issei perked up. "Yeah, it's like one of the oldest Japanese myths ever. You're literally named after—"

Kaguya's eyes lit up. A slow, smug grin curled across her lips. "A legend… about me?"

She straightened even taller, if such a thing was possible. Her expression now gleamed with arrogance bordering on divine.

"So even in this world. They know of the great me." She placed a hand against her chest. "I am not only immortal—I am immortalized." She turned to Miki and Gorou. "As I expected, I am the most perfect being and all should just bow before me."

Eva coughed pointedly. "Let's not encourage that."

Nyaruko giggled. "Oh no~ She's going into diva mode."

Kaguya nodded once, proudly. "As they should. Husband can't you see, I am the most suitable to be your wife."

"I'm still not a lolicon." Issei stubbornly says.

Kaguya whipped her head toward him, eyes ablaze. "I am not a loli—!"

"Still looks like one," Nyaruko chimed in unhelpfully.

Eva sipped her tea, unimpressed. "So I suppose it's my turn now."

She exhaled slowly through her nose, then set her delicate porcelain teacup down with a soft but firm clink.

She sat up straighter on the couch, her blue eyes gleaming faintly in the low light of the room. A presence filled the space cool, composed, and laced with a sharp edge of bitterness.

"My name is Evangeline A.K. McDowell," She said, her voice calm and icy. "Unlike the gremlin beside me or the space princess over there, I was originally human."

Nyaruko gasped dramatically. "Gremlin?! I am offended!"

Evangeline ignored her. "I was human… until I was cursed. Forcefully turned into a true vampire."

Miki's eyes widened slightly, Gorou's posture straightened, and even Issei leaned in a little.

"I've lived for over six centuries," Eva continued, tone even and detached. "And in that time, I mastered the arcane arts. I am a witch in full command of several branches of magic—ice, shadow, blood, and a few... darker things." She glanced toward Gorou and Miki. "I won't demonstrate those here. This house wouldn't survive."

"Appreciated," Miki said faintly.

Issei swallowed. "So… why did you become a witch?"

Evangeline's gaze darkened, her voice dipping with old venom.

"To exact revenge. On the one who made me what I am."

There was a pause.

"Did you get it?" Issei asked softly.

"No." Her tone was clipped, final. "And unfortunately it didn't end there." She leaned back into the couch, arms folding neatly. "While on my travels to kill the one who cursed me, I was betrayed. By someone I trusted and loved."

Gorou's brow furrowed. "What… did they do to you?"

Eva's eyes flicked toward him, cold and sharp. "He cursed me again. But this time he made me into a joke." She scoffed, a quiet, bitter laugh. "I was bound, physically sealed. To a school and forced to live as a student that could never leave. Watching time pass around me."

A chill settled in the room.

Even Nyaruko's usual cheer faded for a moment.

"That's…" Issei said, stunned. "That's really messed up."

"I know," she said simply.

"Wait," Miki said slowly, "So the version of you that agreed to this gacha thing…?"

Eva exhaled through her nose again.

"She thought this system would help her escape that fate. That it would let her start over in a new world, free of curses."

She leaned her head back and closed her eyes.

"She didn't realize only a copy would be summoned."

For the first time since she arrived, Evangeline looked… sad or tired.

"I'm not that Evangeline. I'm just a piece of her—cut loose and dropped into this insane setup."

Silence.

Then Issei, stepping slightly closer, spoke up. "Does that mean… you don't want to be here?"

Eva opened one eye. It glimmered blue.

"I didn't say that. My circumstances may be artificial, but I am real. My choices are my own. And for now…" She glanced around the room, at the Hyoudous, at Nyaruko being weird, at Kaguya prideful form, and finally back at Issei. "This is far from the worst place I've ever been stuck."

Nyaruko threw her arms up. "That's practically affection coming from her!"

Kaguya scoffed. "What a tragic tale. Mine is still better."

Eva rolled her eyes.

Issei, meanwhile, could only think of how sad her life must have been.

The mood in the Hyoudou living room had finally settled. With all three girls having finished telling their stories, there was a brief silence.

Then, as if on cue, three pairs of eyes turned in unison to Issei.

Issei gulped as he noticed all three girls now looking directly at him—Nyaruko smiling expectantly, Kaguya arching a delicate eyebrow, and Evangeline resting her chin on her fist with a calculating stare. "...What?"

Kaguya crossed her arms. "It is your turn now, husband. You've heard our pasts. We should know yours."

Eva arched her brow. "If we're stuck in this house and, apparently, your life, then yes. I want to know what I'm dealing with."

Nyaruko beamed. "I already know everything I need~ But I wouldn't mind knowing more about you, darling~!"

Issei frowned. "But... you three aren't actually stuck here, right? I mean, if you don't like it, can't you just leave? I know I won't force you to stay."

He hoped. Oh gods, he hoped.

Kaguya's sharp gaze turned on him like a guillotine dropping. "If I could leave, I would have left the moment you said the word 'oppai' in front of royalty."

Eva sighed, rubbing her temple. "As your summons, we're bound to you. Spiritually, magically. If you die, we disappear. End of story."

Issei blinked. "Wait, what?! That sounds like a really bad contract for you guys!"

"We didn't write the rules," Eva muttered. "Your cosmic sugar mommy did."

"Shub-Niggurath~" Nyaruko sang.

Issei's face paled. "Seriously?" Issei's stomach turned. "That's not fair to any of you."

"It is concerning," Evangeline muttered. "Which is why we're going to find out what's so special about you."

Kaguya nodded. "Eventually."

"But first," Miki said suddenly, from behind him, arms folded in a familiar mom-mode stance, "you're going to tell these girls about yourself."

Issei turned. "Mom—"

"No secrets or lies." she said firmly. "If you're going to be in a relationship, you start with honesty."

Gorou gave a thumbs up. "This is the secret to any romance, son."

Issei groaned. "You guys are way too into this."

But they weren't budging.

He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Fine. But... you can't freak out. Especially you two," he said, pointing at Eva and Kaguya.

Kaguya looked offended already. "How dare you assume I would freak out. Like I am some kind of commoner."

"Just get on with it," Eva said, sipping her tea.

Issei gulped. "Well, I'm just a regular high school student. Nothing special. Average grades. Average strength. Average life."

He paused.

"And?" Issei coughed awkwardly, cheeks going red. "I'm also a huge pervert."

Silence.

Nyaruko tilted her head. "Define huge."

"I love women," Issei continued if anything he started to get passionate with his answer. "Specifically... women with big oppa!"

Nyaruko squealed, clapping. "Darling is a man of culture~!"

Eva didn't react at all. "So you're a teenage boy. Not exactly shocking."

Issei blinked. "Wait. You're not mad?"

Eva shrugged. "I've met worse. At least you're honest."

Kaguya, on the other hand, visibly recoiled. "You my summoner?! Are a hormonal ape with aspirations of degeneracy."

"You said you wouldn't freak out!" Issei said.

Kaguya sniffed, arms crossed. "You'd better behave yourself around me, husband. I may be small, but I still wield divine might."

Nyaruko, however, leaned in, grinning. "You can touch me inappropriately if you want, darling~!"

"Don't worry," Issei said quickly, looking specifically at Kaguya and Evangeline. "I would never touch you inappropriately! I'm not a lolicon!"

The temperature dropped as the atmosphere turned frosty.

Kaguya and Eva both stared at him with slow-building fury.

Kaguya's voice went ice-cold. "...And what exactly do you mean by that?"

Evangeline's cup slowly lowered. "Explain."

Issei froze. "Uh… I mean, you two look young, so I wouldn't, like… touch you or anything!"

Silence.

Kaguya stood up, her aura vibrating with barely restrained fury. "You dare imply that because of my cursed, eternal youth, I am off-limits?!"

"I'm not a child." Evangeline hissed. "I'll have you know that thousands have said how lucky they would be to have me as a wife."

Issei held up his hands. "Whoa! I didn't mean it like that! I was trying to say I will respect your boundaries!"

Eva snapped. "At least stop implying we're undateable just because we don't have jiggling breasts!"

"I NEVER SAID THAT!"

"Your eyes did!" Kaguya accused, pointing a finger as she noticed the looks of disappointment whenever his eyes landed on them.

Miki cleared her throat loudly, breaking the tension. "Ladies," she said, smiling sweetly, "Why don't we give Issei a moment to stop digging his own grave?"

The three girls simmered down. Slightly.

Eva exhaled. "Regardless of your poor taste in women, there's no way a higher being gave you this power just because you screamed about having your own harem."

Kaguya nodded. "Agreed. There must be a deeper reason."

Nyaruko added, "Other than being totally adorable when you panic~"

"You're not helping," Issei muttered again with a blush.

Eva folded her arms. "We'll find out what's going on. Count on it."

Kaguya nodded regally. "Prepare yourself, Issei. We will begin experiments."

Issei froze. "...What kind of experiments?"

"Personality analysis. Magical diagnostics. Bloodline testing. Possibly some invasive soul observation," Kaguya said casually.

"And maybe some cuddling to establish emotional bonding~" Nyaruko added.

Eva rolled her eyes. "We will not be cuddling."

"I make no promises!" Nyaruko chirped.

Issei groaned into his hands. 'Why is this my life now…?'

—----------------------------------------

The door creaked open.

Issei Hyoudou stood in the doorway of his room, praying to the Mother of a Thousand Young that the girls would be merciful.

They were not.

Nyaruko blinked. Kaguya's eyes narrowed. Evangeline tilted her head slightly, then they all entered and froze in place.

Every inch of the room was covered in degeneracy incarnate: Posters of gravure idols in suggestive poses lined the walls. A mountain of Oppai Heaven and Milky Princess EX DVDs sat by the TV. Anime figurines—half-naked maids, magical girls with physics-defying chests, and suspiciously young demon queens—stared unblinking from the shelves. There was even a Dakimakura (body pillow) of a silver-haired anime girl in a wedding dress leaning against the corner of his bed.

The silence was suffocating.

"…So," Evangeline said dryly, "This is where dignity goes to die."

Issei flinched.

Kaguya slowly used her hand to cover the disgust on her face. "Unbelievable. You sleep in a shrine to perversion."

"I-It's not that bad!" Issei defended, arms out like he was shielding his prized possessions from incoming fire. "Please! Just—just leave it alone!"

Nyaruko tilted her head, finger on her lip. "Darling, is this how you express love? Through… figurines?"

"L-Look, I-it's just part of my collection! My personal treasure trove! You can't just—!"

But it was too late.

Kaguya daintily walked over to a shelf and plucked a DVD from it between two fingers like it was a used tissue.

"Big Bouncy Onee-chan Adventures: Volume 7." she read aloud, face deadpan. "Husband explain."

"I—uh—It has a really emotional arc in episode 4?"

Kaguya turned and tossed the DVD into a pile with disgust. "This room is unfit for living. If I'm to reside here, this filth goes."

Nyaruko nodded enthusiastically. "And you won't need these anymore, darling! You've got me now~! I'll pose in any outfit you like! Maid, bunny girl, spaceship commander—just say the word~!"

"THAT'S NOT THE POINT—!" But he was ignored.

Eva snapped her fingers. "Clear the desk. Burn the mags. Dump the pillows."

"NOOOO!"

An hour later, the room had undergone a holy purge.

The posters were taken down. The DVDs vanished into trash bags. The body pillow had been exorcised with salt and Nyaruko's flamethrower.

Issei sat on the floor, curled in the fetal position, a single tear sliding down his cheek. "My precious… gone…"

Miki peeked in from the hallway. "Issei, sweetie, it smells much nicer in here now!"

"NOT THE POINT, MOM!"

Gorou added cheerfully, "You've got real girls now! Proud of you, son!"

Eva stepped over Issei's broken spirit like she was avoiding a puddle. "Enough whining. Time to figure out why the universe picked you."

Issei lifted his face just enough to blink at her. "Do you still care about that?"

Kaguya nodded. "Absolutely. You're an anomaly."

"A dumb one," Evageline muttered.

Issei groaned and rolled onto his back. "What am I supposed to do?"

Eva crouched beside him, grabbing a cushion and placing it in front of him like a meditation mat. "Sit. Cross your legs, clear your mind and focus."

"Uh... I don't know how to meditate?"

Kaguya sighed like a disappointed teacher. "Honestly. You didn't even attempt it."

"I was busy crying!"

"Shut up and sit," Eva said.

He complied, awkwardly folding his legs and sitting upright, arms limp.

"Back straight."

"I feel ridiculous…"

"Clear your mind," Kaguya added. "Like an empty moonlit lake."

Nyaruko sat beside him, mimicking his pose but with her hands forming a heart instead of a mudra. "Oooooooommm~! Grant us wisdom~!"

"Clear your thoughts," Eva repeated, closing her eyes. "Breathe in. Breathe out."

Issei tried. He breathed. 'Inhale… exhale… don't think about your destroyed DVD collection… don't think about your figurines suffering in a trash bag outside…'

"Stop whimpering," Eva snapped.

"I'M NOT!"

"You're ruining the atmosphere," Kaguya added.

Nyaruko poked him on the cheek. "Want me to hum anime openings to soothe you~?"

The two ancient immortal women groaned in unison.

Eva finally pinched the bridge of her nose. "This is going to be harder than I thought."

Issei sat uncomfortably on the cushion, legs numb, arms limp at his sides. But soon he was able to find peace as he closed his eyes.

Evangeline stood at his side, her fingers elegantly weaving through the air, red and blue light dancing between them. Kaguya stood opposite her, eyes half-lidded in concentration. Nyaruko sat cross-legged behind Issei, watching with a suspicious pout on her face.

"Beginning full resonance scan," Evageline murmured, her voice echoing unnaturally in the small space.

Kaguya nodded. "Synchronization complete. Soul exposure in progress."

Nyaruko's ahoge twitched violently. "You better not break anything in my precious darling~! I just got him and I don't have the warranty!"

Eva scoffed. "I'm not an amateur. His brain will remain un-scrambled."

Kaguya added calmly, "And if we do break something, I can revert his body to its default state."

The room filled with a low thrumming sound as magic circles appeared and pulsed brighter. Runic glyphs spun around Issei, scanning deeper—past skin, muscle, and bone—into the strange well of energy at his core.

Minutes passed.

Silence.

Nothing.

"...He's normal," Kaguya said, disappointed. "Utterly average."

Eva frowned. "No irregular arcane flow. No divine anchors. Not even a sealed curse…"

But soon the light of the circles flickered.

The magic pulsed once. Then again.

Then exploded into red and black as their shape shattered into spiraling helixes of chaotic magic.

"What the hell?!" Eva shouted, stepping back.

"Impossible!" Kaguya gasped, shielding her face.

The room roared to life—literally—as an earth-shaking dragon's bellow thundered through the walls. The glass of Issei's window shattered violently, showering the room in glittering shards. The floor trembled. The magic circles convulsed, unable to contain the presence that had been sleeping deep within.

All three girls were thrown back by the sheer pressure—slammed against walls, rolling across the carpet like tossed dolls.

Issei's eyes shot open. He bolted upright, coughing and dizzy. "Wh-What the hell just happened?!"

Smoke lingered. Sparks sizzled in the air.

And amidst the chaos, he saw one of them, Evangeline lying closest, her small frame unmoving, her blonde hair splayed across the floor.

Panic flooded him. He rushed forward, heart hammering, and dropped to his knees beside her. "Eva?! Are you okay?! Say something—please!"

He gently lifted her up, cradling her carefully.

Her eyes fluttered open, unfocused at first. "...You're... holding me."

"Y-Yeah, you fainted or got hit—I don't know—are you hurt?"

'Why does he sound so sincere? I'm a vampire. We've known each other less than a day. Why is he—?' She blinked, her brain catching up to her surroundings. Her pupils refocused on his face—too close, too warm, too sincere.

Her cheeks instantly flushed. 'What... is this strange feeling? He looks like an idiot. But his eyes... Is he worried for me? Me?'

She suddenly shoved him back with a stiff palm to the chest. "Don't get the wrong idea," She snapped, sitting up quickly. "I don't need your concern."

Issei fell back with a grunt. "Geez, fine. Sorry for caring..."

But she turned away, one hand pressed against her cheek. The blush refused to fade.

Across the room, a familiar, giddy voice rang out.

"WHAT A RUSH~!" Nyaruko laughed, sitting up with singed hair and a dazed expression. "I haven't felt like that since that time I headbutted a Psychic Shroom!"

Issei turned. "You're okay?"

"Better than okay!" She giggled. "Darling's got a dragon inside him! Rawr~!"

A few feet away, Kaguya groaned, eyes spinning. She clutched her head as her senses tried to reboot. "Wh-What was that pressure…?"

Then—click—her body glowed faintly. With a shimmer, her balance and composure returned.

"I'm fine," She said stiffly, dusting herself off. "But whatever's in you, Husband. It's not normal."

"No kidding," Issei muttered. "What even was that?"

Nyaruko giggled again. "Darling's got a sexy soul-beast hiding inside."

Kaguya, now sitting upright, looked far too pleased with herself. A soft, smug smile spread across her face. "Well, I suppose this confirms it," she said, voice light but dripping with superiority. "My husband is indeed special."

Issei then looked around. His bed had been knocked sideways, his wall had cracks around it, and the shattered window whistled faintly in the breeze.

Then realization struck.

"MY ROOM! MY ROOM'S DESTROYED! WH—HOW AM I GONNA FIX THIS?!" He staggered to his feet, flailing dramatically.

Kaguya rolled her eyes and snapped her fingers.

A ripple of golden light spread from her hand, expanding outward like a reverse explosion. The walls reassembled. The furniture righted itself. The posters flattened and zipped back into place. Even the glass shards lifted from the floor, floating back into the frame until the window was good as new.

Everything was clean.

Not even dust remained.

Issei, seeing this, immediately dropped to his knees and bowed deeply. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you—"

Kaguya huffed proudly, folding her arms beneath her chest. "As expected of me. Truly, it is your greatest fortune to have a wife so competent."

Eva, still sitting on the floor with her knees drawn up, turned to him with a sharp look. "Hyoudou," She said seriously. "Did you know there was a dragon inside your soul?"

Issei blinked, still half-bowed. "Huh?"

"A dragon," Eva repeated, standing up. "Sleeping inside your soul. Powerful. Ancient. Incomplete."

Issei pointed at himself, wide-eyed. "Inside me is a dragon?!"

Kaguya nodded, adjusting her sleeves elegantly. "That must be the reason the system chose you. No doubt that thing inside you is connected to some deep, cosmic power."

Nyaruko leaned against him from behind, grinning ear to ear. "Ufufu~! I knew it~! My darling is special with secret powers! So cool~!"

Issei groaned, falling onto his back. "Why do I feel like I'm the only one surprised by this…"

Eva crouched again, her gaze serious. "Now that we've confirmed it, we need to start unlocking it."

"Huh?"

Kaguya stepped forward, crossing her arms. "Indeed. If we are bound to you, then your survival directly impacts ours. The sooner you gain control of your power, the longer we all stay alive."

Nyaruko raised her hand like she was volunteering for class. "And the sooner I get to see you do cool moves in slow-motion shirtless fight scenes!"

Issei stared at them. "Wait… you want me to train?"

"Obviously," Eva said flatly. "Starting tomorrow."

Kaguya nodded. "Proper spiritual conditioning. Magic resistance. Possibly even chi realignment if necessary."

He rubbed his eyes, only to pause as a glance toward the window revealed the darkening sky.

"Crap. It's already night…" He stood and stretched, his body finally feeling the weight of the day's madness. "Alright, alright—training starts tomorrow. I've got school in the morning."

He turned to the girls, suddenly aware of a very important issue.

"Right. Uh... sleeping arrangements."

The three girls turned to him with expectant looks.

"I'll sleep in the guest room. You three can take the bed in here."

Kaguya's brow twitched. "This is the room you give your noble wife? Small and cramped?"

"It's clean now…" Issei muttered.

Kaguya sighed but relented. "Fine. I suppose even a floor fit for peasants can be a bed for a moon princess."

Eva sat back down, picking up the remote. "I don't sleep. I'll take the couch. I want to see what kind of garbage TV your world offers."

Nyaruko beamed. "I'll sleep wherever Darling sleeps~!"

Issei raised a brow. "You're staying in here."

Nyaruko pouted but nodded. "Fiiiiine. But I want the left side of the bed."

"You're not getting the bed!"

"I already am~!"

—----------------------------

Eventually, after a surprisingly calm goodnight, Issei left the room, shoulders slumping as he made his way toward the guest room.

The moment he collapsed onto the futon, exhaustion hit him like a truck. 'Finally… peace.'

He shut his eyes, letting his body sink into blessed rest. Only to feel something soft and curvy wrap around his torso a minute later.

"Darling~ You're warm~"

"NYARUKO?!"

"Shhh~ Let's cuddle!!"

He opened his eyes.

There she was.

Silver hair. Bright grin. Full pajamas that she somehow acquired..

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE SLEEPING IN MY ROOM!"

"I lied~♥"

Issei stared at the ceiling.

—--------------------------

Meanwhile, back in the living room, Evangeline sat with her legs folded under her, a bowl of popcorn in hand and her gaze glued to the TV.

"...This reality show is dumber than I expected. I love it."

Done. Tell me what you think and if I made any mistakes. Commission for Deus Ex Mina. If you want you can make a commission for me to make your idea into a story but only for people at the emperor tier at my patreon.com/orengeflame. Commissioners that continue to support me by being part of the emperor tier will get 3 chapters a month but for those that only pay once will continue to get 1 chapter a month. Of course the first month you pay will be an automatic 3 chapters.

 

[Raphiel]

"...This reality show is dumber than I expected. I love it."

Click to shrink...

based opinion from evangeline
as expected of McDowell

 

[Isano]

Thursday, Houydou household
The warm rays of morning sunlight peeked in through the quiet guest room of the Hyoudou household, brushing against Issei's face. Birds chirped cheerfully outside, blissfully unaware of the eldritch chaos curled around him.

Issei Hyoudou stirred with a groan, one eye cracking open. "Ughhh… morning already? Feels like I barely slept…"

He blinked, adjusting to the light. That's when he realized something was heavy and warm.

"…Oh right," He muttered. Issei Hyoudou was completely trapped.

Resting against his side was Nyaruko, firmly wrapped around him like an affectionate octopus. Her beautiful long silver hair spilled to his legs. Her face snuggled into his chest, her breath warm against his skin. One leg was thrown across his hip, and both her arms wrapped tightly around his.

She was still wearing her frilly pajamas and worst of all? Her oppai were smushed against his body like soft heavenly cushions.

'Okay. Breathe. Just breathe. This is fine.' Issei thought as he stared at the ceiling. 'A girl is cuddling me next to me. That's a win. This is… harem experience I will one day get. Yeah. Nothing to be afraid of.'

But then Nyaruko nuzzled into him and let out a sleepy sigh, her warm breath against his skin.

He carefully tried to shift so as to not bother her with the tent that had grown.

Nyaruko let out a soft whine and tightened her grip. "Hmm… morning, darling~ Let's stay in bed all day… just you, me, and snuggles~"

His soul almost left his body but then remembered that he still had school today.

"W-WAIT, NO!" Issei squirmed, trying to pull his arm free. "I have to get up! I have school!"

Nyaruko pouted and nuzzled deeper into him like a sleepy cat, her ahoge wiggling slightly. "School? Isn't it better to lie here in the arms of your beloved? We could skip… and cuddle together all day~."

She pressed her chest in just a little closer, her frilly pajamas doing very little to contain the situation.

'Soft. So soft. I'm touching oppai. Actual, living, oppai. This is the dream. This is what I was born for…' Issei's resolve trembled. His face flushed a dangerous crimson. A dopey smile started to creep across his lips.

But then a mental image flashed across his brain, Souna Shitori, the president of the student council, glaring down at him with her arms crossed and her piercing, judgmental stare.

"Hyoudou… tardy again, I see. Shall I notify your parents about your repeated absence and indecency record?"

Issei screamed internally. He bolted upright—well, tried to. Nyaruko still clung like a koala. "Nyaruko, please! I need to go! Souna-kaichou will kill me!"

"Let her try~" She mumbled, snuggling closer. Nyaruko's grip didn't loosen.

Issei flailed for a moment before groaning. "Wh-What do I have to do to get you to let go?!"

Nyaruko finally cracked one eye open, her lips curling into a mischievous smile. "…A date."

Issei froze. "A… what?"

"A date!" She chirped cheerfully, sitting up now, her cheeks faintly pink and her ahoge wagging like an excited puppy tail. "You and me! Somewhere nice! Holding hands, eating snacks, possibly feeding each other bites of crepes while blushing like lovebirds~!"

Issei's face turned bright red. "A d-date?! Y-You… You want to go on a date? With me!?"

Nyaruko leaned in, eyes wide and sparkling. "Of course~! Unless you'd prefer we do couple exercises right now in bed~?"

"DATE IT IS!" Issei shouted. He cleared his throat. "I-I mean… f-fine. We can go on a date. A simple, totally normal one."

She squealed and threw herself back into his arms, tackling him with enough force to knock him onto his back again. "YAAAAY~! I knew you loved me, darling!"

His heart pounded like a drum. 'She's warm. She's soft. She smells like strawberry shampoo. I am not going to survive this.'

"But!" Issei said quickly, managing to hold her at arm's length. "Not today! I have school, remember?"

"Boooo~" Nyaruko pouted, puffing her cheeks. "But fine. I'll wait. Patiently~ But I expect more cuddles as payment!" She finally released him and rolled onto her back, grinning like she'd just won the lottery.

Issei staggered to his feet, his head filled with all sort of thoughts. 'A date. A real date. With a girl. This is happening. I'm going on a date. I'M GOING ON A—'

He quickly remembered the time and he went to grab his uniform, he threw it on half-on, and ran a hand through his messy hair to fix his bed hair.

"I'm heading out!" He called over his shoulder as he left the room.

"Love you~!" Nyaruko called back cheerfully.

He tripped on his shoe but was able to recover..

—-----------------------------------------
Downstairs...

Miki blinked as Issei practically flew past the living room, and then grabbed a slice of toast in his mouth.

"Good morning, honey—!"

"Can't talk! Running late! Nyaruko wants a date! Love you mom, bye!"

Miki turned to Gorou, who calmly sipped his coffee. While Kaguya and Evangeline were eating breakfast.

"You think we should be worried?"

He shrugged. "At least we might finally have grandchildren."

—---------------------------------------------
The final bell rang at Kuoh Academy, and the air in Class 2-B was thick with the usual after-school buzz. Students chatted, packed their bags, and made plans to hit the café, clubrooms, or head home.

At the back of the classroom, Issei Hyoudou sat with his hands behind his head, staring dreamily out the window as the afternoon sun filtered through the glass.

A wide, dopey grin was plastered across his face. He didn't even realize class had ended. 'Oppai… soft, warm, life-changing oppai… I have a date. A real one. With a real girl.' He gave a dreamy sigh.

This did not go unnoticed. The teachers had given him strange looks during class because for once, he was quiet, and smiling like a man who had just inherited a billion yen.

And the class noticed too.

"Is that Hyoudou… smiling?" Whispered a female student to another.

"What's with Hyoudou? Did he get possessed or something?"

Even Murayama and Katase, members of the Kendo Club and longtime victims of his perverted antics had taken notice.

"Is it just me, or is the perv actually… behaving today?" Murayama asked warily.

"He smiled at me this morning and didn't even glance at my chest," Katase replied. "I thought I was hallucinating."

Meanwhile, Matsuda and Motohama crept up to his desk like detectives approaching a crime scene.

"Hey…" Matsuda whispered, nudging his friend in the ribs. "What's with the grin, huh? You win a lottery or something?"

Issei slowly turned toward them with the grace of a victorious war general. "Boys," He said, oozing smugness, "I've done it."

Motohama blinked behind his glasses. "...Done what, exactly?"

Issei crossed his arms, leaned back in his chair, and delivered the line like he'd been waiting his whole life to say it. "I've. Gotten. A girlfriend."

The classroom froze.

A quiet gasp echoed from across the room.

Someone dropped a pen.

A chair squeaked.

"……What?" Aika Kiryuu said flatly, who had been scrolling through her phone with one earbud in, blinked and pulled it out. "Wait. Did he say girlfriend?"

Matsuda's jaw dropped. "You're lying."

Motohama reeled like he'd been punched. "You?!"

Murayama and Katase, who had been organizing their books nearby, turned in unison, blinking in disbelief.

Murayama snorted. "No way. He's gotta be blackmailing her."

Katase crossed her arms. "Probably imaginary."

Aika narrowed her eyes. "Are you being catfished?"

Issei stood up proudly, slinging his bag over one shoulder. "You can say whatever you want. Disbelieve me. Doubt me. Mock me. But the truth remains…"

He smirked, pausing for dramatic effect. "I, Issei Hyoudou, have a girlfriend. A real, cute, oppai-blessed girlfriend!"

Matsuda stumbled back a step, like he'd been physically struck. "This… this changes everything."

"Reality has betrayed us," Motohama whispered.

"How could you, Issei?!" Matsuda shouted. "We were in this together!"

"We were supposed to suffer forever!" Motohama yelled. "Together!"

Aika squinted suspiciously. "Alright then, Casanova. What's her name?"

Issei paused. "…N-Nyaruko."

"That sounds made up," Katase deadpanned.

"She's totally real!" Issei protested. "White hair, cute, clingy, bit crazy but in a good way—"

"So she's insane," Aika summarized.

"Shut up! She's awesome!"

"Where'd you meet her?" Murayama asked.

"...My house," He said, with perfect sincerity.

Everyone blinked.

Matsuda squinted. "Wait, you didn't order her off the internet, did you?"

Issei snapped. "NO! She's just living with me at the moment."

"Well how dare you get a girlfriend first?!" Motohama cried, grabbing his shoulders. "We had a pact! A pervert trinity! Die alone together, remember?!"

"I didn't plan this, it just happened!" Issei said, grinning.

"Traitor!" Matsuda shouted.

"Enjoy hell, you normie!" Motohama wailed.

Issei merely adjusted his bag, smiling smugly like a man who had finally reached the promised land. "Cry about it," He said, and strolled out the classroom door like a king.

Aika leaned back in her chair, watching him leave. "…He's definitely hiding something."

Murayama nodded. "Or someone's planning to kill him when they find the perfect chance."

As Issei walked out of the building, his inner monologue was practically shouting.

'They can doubt me all they want! They didn't feel what I felt this morning. That soft warmth… cosmic oppai.' His hand clenched into a heroic fist. 'This is the beginning of my rise to greatness! Today, a girlfriend. Tomorrow, the Harem King!'

Then he paused. "…Wait. I still don't know how to plan a date." His proud stride slowed.

'…Do I need money? Should I pick a park? A theme café? What if she wants to watch a movie instead?' A bead of sweat slid down his cheek. 'Oh crap. I'm in over my head. What do space girls want?'' Still, he shook it off and kept walking, his steps quickening again. 'No. I can handle this. I'm sure dating sims have prepared me for this …Probably.'

—-----------------------------------

The sun hung low in the afternoon sky, casting long shadows across the stone path leading away from Kuoh Academy's main gate. Students filed out in casual clusters, buzzing with the usual chatter of club meetings and part-time job plans.

Issei walked with a bounce in his step and a smug grin still clinging to his face like glue. Behind him, Matsuda and Motohama trudged with matching glares and wounded pride.

"C'mon, Issei!" Matsuda whined. "At least tell us where she came from!"

"Yeah!" Motohama added, eyes narrowed. "Is she rich? Is she blind? Is she a student from a different school?!"

"I told you," Issei said proudly, "She's real, she's beautiful, and I've got a date with her soon. That's all you need to know."

The two grumbled behind him as they neared the front gate.

That's when a voice called out.

"Excuse me… Are you Issei Hyoudou?"

The three boys stopped.

Standing just a few feet ahead was a girl none of them recognized.

She had long black hair that shimmered in the sunlight, soft violet eyes, a modest smile that gave her an aura of innocence and wore a uniform that distinctly wasn't from Kuoh Academy. Her posture was shy, almost delicate, with her hands nervously clasped in front of her skirt.

Issei blinked. "Uh… yeah? That's me."

'Do I know her? She's cute. Wait—did I meet her somewhere and forget?! Oh god, do I owe her money?!'

Matsuda elbowed him hard. "You know her?!"

"No! I swear I don't—

The mysterious girl stepped forward, her cheeks tinged with soft pink. She bowed her head slightly in what looked like bashful reverence.

"My name is Yuuma Amano." she said softly. "I've been watching you… for a while. I know this is sudden, but… I've always admired you."

Issei's jaw dropped and his brain short-circuited.

Matsuda audibly choked on air.

Motohama's glasses fogged up.

"W-Wait, what?" Issei asked, frozen in place.

Yuuma smiled softly and her cheeks turned redder. "I know this might be sudden," Yuuma continued, her fingers twisting the hem of her skirt, "but… I've always admired you. So… will you be my boyfriend?"

Time. Stopped.

The wind held its breath.

Issei's heart nearly burst out of his chest. 'IS THIS MY LUCK DAY?! First Nyaruko, now this?! I didn't even roll the gacha this morning!'

Matsuda and Motohama were staring like statues.

"I—uh—wha—?"

"S-Sorry if it's too sudden. I just… wanted to be honest with my feelings." Yuuma tilted her head slightly, eyes full of hope. "If… you don't mind, that is."

Before Issei could respond—before his stunned brain could form words—

"DAAARLIIING~!" The shrill, excited voice shattered the moment.

Everyone turned.

"Wha—?!" Issei barely had time to register the sound before something white and silver tackled him from the side with the force of a small meteor.

"ISSEEEIIII~!"

"GAAAH!"

The world spun.

He hit the ground with a grunt, blinking up at a very familiar face now hovering above his chest.

When the dust settled, Nyaruko was above him. Her ahoge twitched joyfully. Her bright red eyes sparkled with affection. Her arms wrapped around him like an overenthusiastic plush toy.

"There you are~! I missed you soooo much! What took you so long?!" She pouted, nuzzling into his neck.

Issei blinked. "I—I missed you too! Sorry! I didn't think you'd meet me at the gate!"

She looked up, smiling from ear to ear. "You were gone for hours! What took you so long? Did you forget about your adorable alien waifu~?"

He laughed nervously as she continued to cling to him. "I'm sorry. School went long." He gently patted her head. She leaned into it with a happy coo.

Matsuda and Motohama looked like their brains had just been rebooted.

"She's real," Motohama whispered in horror.

"She's real and he wasn't lying," Matsuda added, traumatized.

Nyaruko pulled back just enough to beam at Issei, still straddling his waist in full view of everyone walking past.

"Come on, darling~ Let's go home and plan our date! I'll cook dinner and practice feeding you~!"

"I-Isn't that too fast?!" Issei stammered, blushing furiously.

But Nyaruko just tugged him to his feet and grabbed his hand without hesitation.

That's when he remembered.

"Ah—wait!"

He turned, suddenly remembering the raven-haired girl.

He bowed slightly, genuine and apologetic.

"I… I'm really sorry. But I can't accept your feelings."

Yuuma blinked, her expression unreadable.

"I-I mean, you're really pretty," Issei stammered, "And super brave to say something like that, but I—uh—I already have someone."

He looked over his shoulder at Nyaruko, who was proudly latching onto his arm, humming happily and not the least bit shy about the close contact.

Yuuma didn't speak right away. Yuuma still stood exactly where she had been, her hands still folded, her face frozen in place. Her expression was still smiling… but something had changed.

Her lips had tightened. Her eyes darkened.

But Issei didn't notice.

Yuuma blinked slowly, her hands now clenched behind her back. "I see…" She said sweetly. "That's… really too bad."

Issei, oblivious, just gave a sheepish grin. "Sorry again…"

Nyaruko tugged Issei's hand. "Bye, random girl! Let's gooooo, darling~!"

He waved awkwardly as they turned and left together, hand-in-hand.

Behind them, Yuuma remained still.

The air around her cooled just slightly. Her smile twitched—just enough for anyone paying close attention to notice.

Her eyes followed them until they disappeared from sight. "…Interesting," She murmured.

—-----------------------------------

The late afternoon sun cast golden rays across the quiet suburban streets as Issei and Nyaruko walked hand in hand toward the Hyoudou household.

Nyaruko was still humming an upbeat love tune she'd apparently just made up on the spot, swinging their linked arms as if they'd just returned from a honeymoon instead of a ten-minute walk.

"I missed this little human house already~" she chirped. "It smells like you, darling~!"

Issei blushed. "H-Hey, I don't smell weird, do I?"

"You smell like testosterone~!" She giggled.

Issei wasn't sure if that was a compliment… but knowing her, it probably was.

As they stepped through the gate and approached the front door, they didn't even need to open it—because it slid open ominously before they touched the handle.

Standing on the other side were two very unimpressed girls.

Kaguya, arms crossed, eyes narrowed like a noblewoman preparing for a scolding.

Evangeline, sitting atop the low wall by the door, legs crossed and sipping from a fresh cup of tea, stared at them with the expression of someone watching an incompetent soap opera unfold.

"You're late," Kaguya said flatly.

Issei winced. "Sorry! I—I was just walking home and—my friends, they, uh… they kept asking questions…"

Kaguya arched her brow. "For an hour and a half?"

Issei scratched his cheek nervously. "T-There was also this weird girl who confessed to me out of nowhere."

Both girls blinked.

"…A girl confessed?" Evangeline echoed.

Nyaruko chimed in, "Don't worry! I tackled that situation—literally~!"

Kaguya sighed. "As expected. Troublesome women are attracted to you like moths to flame."

"I still don't know why she confessed to me?" Issei said, confused.

Evangeline groaned, dragging a hand down her face. "Ugh… I, thank the Mother of a Thousand Young, that I don't have to go to school anymore. Humans are exhausting."

"Hey, school's not that bad…" Issei mumbled, scratching his cheek.

Evangeline raised an eyebrow and then slid off the wall and landed without a sound. "Now that your little romantic detour is over…" Her red eyes locked onto Issei's with chilling intent. "It's time to train."

Issei blinked. "Wait. Right now?!"

Kaguya stepped forward, her tone sharp but regal. "Yes. You heard us yesterday, husband. And we wasted enough time. You are not an ordinary human. There is a sleeping dragon inside you, and your spiritual potential is still completely untapped. We're not letting another day pass without awakening it."

"But I just got home…" Issei whined.

"And now you are leaving again," Kaguya said sharply.

Evangeline cracked her knuckles. "Unless you want to discover your hidden power by accident from me beating your body."

Issei felt a cold sweat begin to build. 'Why does this feel like I'm about to be enrolled in the boot camp from hell…?'

Still, he knew they were right. Whatever was inside him, he was really curious about it. "Alright… give me five minutes to change," He said, turning back toward the stairs.

"Make it three," Kaguya called after him.

Issei grumbled all the way to his room. 'How did I go from 'pervert with no game' to being bossed around by magical girls?' But beneath the grumbling… was a flicker of excitement.

He yanked open his closet and pulled out his old tracksuit—the one with the slightly worn knees and a red stripe down the arms. A little baggy. A little faded. But it was still reliable.

As he zipped it up and checked himself in the mirror, he nodded. "Alright, let's do this."

—---------------------------------
Kouh Park
The sun had dipped low by the time they arrived at the nearby public park. The orange sky cast long shadows over the grassy fields and quiet walking paths, painting the empty playground in a warm, fading light.

To Issei's surprise, the place was deserted. Not a single jogger, an old man feeding birds, or couples sneaking a kiss on the bench in sight.

Issei glanced around warily. "Uh… Is it just me or is this place… too peaceful?"

Evangeline, standing a few paces ahead, gave a faint smile—though it carried no warmth. "That's because I made sure it would be." She raised a single hand and snapped her fingers. A faint glow shimmered through the air as a wide dome-like magic circle flashed briefly around them—then vanished.

"There. A layered silence and distortion barrier. No one can hear or see us. No one will enter or notice us. You can scream all you want." She said coolly. "This space is sealed. We'll have all the time and privacy we need."

"...That's not comforting," Issei muttered.

Nyaruko grinned and spun in a circle with her arms out. "Oooh~! It's like a secret training arc!"

Kaguya stood beside her, adjusting her long sleeves, her elegant kimono fluttering slightly in the breeze. "Let us proceed then. The sooner he stops being useless, the better."

Issei blinked. "Thanks for the encouragement, what are we training in? Magic? Combat?"

Evangeline smiled—but it was the kind of smile that promised regret. "No. We start with the basics: physical conditioning. You're a human sack of pudding right now. That has to change." She stepped aside, giving him a full view of the open grass field.

"What?!"

"Run," she commanded, pointing down the paved trail.

Issei blinked. "Wait, like… how far?"

"Until I say stop."

Issei sighed but didn't argue. He stepped onto the dirt path lining the park and started to jog, the gravel crunching under his shoes.

But Nyaruko was already followed beside him in a tight-fitting gym outfit she'd somehow acquired during the walk over. "Come on, darling~! I'll run with you~!"

With no other choice—and not wanting to look like a wimp in front of his harem—Issei groaned and started jogging.

—---------------------------------

Thirty minutes later…

Issei collapsed to the grass, drenched in sweat and groaning like a man on his deathbed.

He had done:

10 laps

20 push-ups (barely)

20 sit-ups (with much groaning)

3 failed attempts at a pull-up on the swing set

And now he was facedown in the dirt, too exhausted to move and panting like he'd just run a marathon. His uniform clung to him with sweat, his hair stuck to his forehead, and his face was red. "Gaaahhh… kill me now…"

Meanwhile, Nyaruko bounced in place beside him, humming happily, completely unfazed. She hadn't even broken a sweat. "Wow~! This is so fun!"

"Kill me," Issei wheezed.

Evangeline approached, looking down on him like a disappointed coach. "Pathetic," She muttered. "That was just a warm-up."

Issei looked up at her, face pale. "I can't move…"

"That's fine," Evangeline said flatly. "We prepared for this." She turned toward Kaguya, who gave a graceful nod.

"Indeed."

Issei blinked. "What?"

A soft flutter of cloth signaled Kaguya's approach. She didn't say a word. She just stepped onto his back like she was mounting a royal palanquin and sat down gently.

"What are you—?"

A soft glow spread through his body. Within seconds, the fog of exhaustion began to lift from his brain. His lungs filled with air again. His legs twitched.

"I—I feel… better?" He said, confused.

His arms still felt like jelly. His legs burned. But the crushing fatigue was gone.

"You're welcome," Kaguya said smugly. "I simply reverted your body to a temporal state just before it reached physical exhaustion. You're refreshed, but I carefully preserved the strain from your prior exertion. That way, the physical development still accumulates."

Issei blinked up at her. "So basically, my stamina is back?"

"Precisely."

Issei groaned. "That sounds awesome—until I remember you're sitting on me like a spoiled cat."

"I am a princess," she said proudly. "I'll motivate you however I see fit."

"Can't you at least get off?"

"No."

Evangeline crossed her arms. "Enough stalling. Get up and repeat the process."

"Wha—again?!"

"Yes," She said calmly. "Do you think your enemies are going to let you take naps between fights?"

Nyaruko gave him a thumbs-up. "You got this, darling~! Think of the cool things you'll be able to do after this! Maybe laser eyes! Or breathe fire!"

Issei whimpered, slowly standing back up. "Okay… okay, let's do this."

—--------------------------------------
Two hours later…

He collapsed again.

His shirt was soaked. His arms refused to lift. His back felt like he'd been steamrolled.

But again, Kaguya stepped forward and refreshed his body.

The fatigue vanished.

The pain, however… did not.

"Augh! My everything still hurts!" He cried, trembling on the grass.

"I could take away the pain," Kaguya offered, lifting her hand.

"No, let him keep the pain. " She said, cool and firm.

Kaguya raised a brow. "It will slow him down."

Evangeline interrupted sharply. "Pain is useful in making him be able to ignore it. Plus it is part of progress. He needs to feel what growth costs.""

Issei whimpered like a kicked puppy. 'Why couldn't I summon a soft-spoken nurse-type girl with healing hands and cookies?!'

"I believe in you~!" Nyaruko cheered, gently patting his head. "I know you will be able to go through this!"

—----------------------------

The sun had been hidden below the horizon as the moon was rising. The park, still empty thanks to Evangeline's distortion barrier, had become eerily quiet—save for the exhausted gasps of one Issei Hyoudou.

Issei sat cross-legged on the grass, arms limp at his sides, a towel draped over his head. He was drenched in sweat again.

"Alright," Evangeline said, stepping forward with her arms folded behind her back like a strict headmistress. "You've stretched your body. Now we start testing your soul and mind."

Issei perked up. "Wait… magic training? Finally!"

Evangeline gave him a deadpan look. "Don't act excited. You'll just embarrass yourself."

Nyaruko leaned in from the side, nodding. "Oooh~! Are we teaching him sparkly fireballs? Or laser beams? Maybe magical detection spells?!"

"No," Evangeline said, pinching the bridge of her nose. "We start with sensing and drawing out internal magical energy. Basic control before such nonsense. You must first understand the flow of energy within the body."

She then sat across from Issei, her expression unusually serious. "Focus," she said. "Close your eyes. Take deep breaths. Feel your heartbeat. Imagine a small ember in your core. That's your power. Your goal is to find it, stir it, and let it flow through your limbs."

Issei obeyed, trying to quiet the distractions in his head—Nyaruko humming the theme to Sailor Moon, Kaguya muttering about the poor shape of his chi lines, his own racing thoughts about whether he'd ever be good at this. Issei determinedly shut his eyes, sat straighter, and started to breathe.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale.

'Okay… ember… warmth… flowing through my limbs…'

Minutes passed.

Sweat gathered on his forehead again.

Evangeline narrowed her eyes. "…Anything?" she asked.

Issei opened one eye. "I think I felt a flicker!"

Evangeline raised an eyebrow.

Nyaruko tilted her head. "Really?! Where?!"

"…My stomach. But I think that might've just been hunger."

Eva groaned loudly."You're hopeless."

"I'm trying!" Issei protested.

More breathing. More mental poking at invisible reserves.

Still nothing.

"…How long does this usually take?" he asked.

"For a prodigy? Seconds," Evangeline replied. "For an average person? Minutes. For you…" She trailed off. "You're not even glowing! A monkey could be glowing by now!"

Kaguya looked over calmly. "Perhaps his talent is not in magic."

"No," Eva snapped, standing. "He has magic. It's just terrible. His reserves are low, his control is sloppy and nonexistent."

"That bad?" Issei muttered.

"Yes, that bad." Eva confirmed. "You have just enough potential to be disappointing."

Nyaruko patted his head. "Don't worry, darling~ You're still better than any man!"

Issei sighed. "Is there any way to improve?" he asked weakly.

"Yes," Eva said, her tone clipped. "Like a muscle. You'll have to overextend your reserves constantly. Drain them. Refill. Repeat. But that takes time. Days, at least, before you see even minor growth."

"Days…?"

"At minimum." Evangeline turned, and crunched her fists tighter. "Come on. Let's shift gears. Maybe your fists work better than your brain."

"Wait, what?"

"Time to learn some Self-defense." She said, smirking slightly.

Nyaruko pulled out popcorn from somewhere. "Ooooh~! Fight training~!"

—-----------------------------
Twenty minutes later…

Evangeline stood behind Issei, correcting his stance. "Lower your center. Shift your weight. That's not a punch, that's a slap with ambition."

Kaguya demonstrated a clean throw, flipping Nyaruko—who giggled mid-air and landed on her feet like a cat.

Issei tried copying it and nearly dislocated his shoulder. "OW—MY SHOULDER!"

Evangeline stood over him, posture perfect, adjusting her collar like she hadn't just thrown him into the Earth.

"That was Aiki-jūjutsu 101: redirection of force. Your balance is laughable."

"I tried not to fall!"

"Try harder."

Kaguya called from her bench, sipping. "Remember to keep your stance low, husband. You looked like a frightened goose just now."

Issei groaned.

"Now," Eva said, stepping closer, "punch me."

"...What?"

"Punch me."

"But—"

She stepped closer, eyes gleaming. "Do it. You need to learn proper striking form."

Issei raised his fists awkwardly, legs wide, elbows flared out.

"No," Eva said instantly. "That's not a punch."

"Gah! Fine!"

He swung and she dodged without blinking.

She moved like a breeze, grabbed his wrist mid-swing, and flipped him again.

SLAM.

Issei lay flat on his back, staring up at the sky, birds circling his vision.

Nyaruko clapped politely. "Ten outta ten! Lovely form, Evageline!"

Eva dusted her hands and looked at Kaguya. "Still no reaction from his soul."

Kaguya nodded solemnly. "Nothing stirred. No awakening. No surges. That dormant power is still sealed."

"Maybe we're going about this the wrong way…" Eva murmured.

Meanwhile, Issei groaned from the dirt, raising a shaky hand."...Can someone rearrange my spine first?" His entire body ached from the brutal physical drills, his soul had failed at magic, and now he was trying to muster enough strength to stand without sounding like a stepped-on puppy.

Nyaruko crouched beside him, poking his cheek cheerfully.

"Ne, ne, darling~! Maybe you're overthinking it."

Issei cracked one eye open, warily. "Overthinking what? My body's spaghetti right now..."

She grinned. "Your dragon powers~! Maybe it doesn't need all that magic discipline stuff. Maybe… you just gotta really want it, y'know?"

He blinked. "...That's your solution?"

Eva paused, arms crossed. Her crimson eyes narrowed thoughtfully. "...As absurd as it sounds," She muttered, "Emotional catalysts are a valid awakening trigger. And so far, logic and technique have failed."

Kaguya tapped her fan against her palm, considering. "Desire-driven manifestation… it has happened before. Particularly in emotionally volatile beings."

"Gee, thanks," Issei groaned, "Glad to know I'm 'volatile.'"

Evangeline ignored him. "Alright then. Hyoudou. Get up."

With a groan, he sat upright.

"Try it. Focus on your deepest desire. Pour everything into it. Force the power out."

"Deepest desire?" Issei mumbled. 'Okay… deepest desire. I want to be strong. I want to impress these girls. I want to not die. I want—' His face turned red. '...oppai.'

Nyaruko gasped dramatically, her eyes sparkling. "Oh! I got it~!"

Everyone turned to her.

"If you manage to summon your powers, I'll let you—" She paused for effect, winked, and cupped her own chest playfully, "—touch my breasts~! Just for a second~!"

The park went silent.

Issei's eyes slowly widened. "...You're serious?"

"Yup~! Groping privilege: one time offer~!"

Kaguya's fan dropped slightly.

Evangeline's expression froze. "…You're bribing him with boobs," Eva said flatly.

Nyaruko nodded cheerfully. "Absolutely~!"

Issei stared at her… then slowly stood. His legs were wobbling. His arms were shaking. But his expression?

Pure. Unfiltered. Determination. 'This is it. This is what I have been preparing for. This is what I was BORN for. All my suffering... all my training... leads to this.'

He clenched his fist and raised it to the sky. He then screamed in his heart.

"OPPAI...!!!"

A pulse of crimson light exploded from his left arm.

Kaguya and Evangeline both flinched back, eyes wide.

With a surge of raw power, a red armored glove burst forth from his hand—crimson scales gleaming, emerald gem glowing, energy coiling around it like a beast awakening from slumber.

Issei stood still for a moment, staring at the glowing red weapon on his hand.

"…Huh."

Eva stepped forward, eyes narrowed. "An armored glove."

Kaguya's voice was tight. "I do feel the aura of a dragon."

Nyaruko's ahoge twitched happily. "Wow~! I didn't think he'd actually do it!"

Issei slowly turned to her, face red, voice trembling. "D-Does this mean I get to—"

"Yup~!"

He didn't even celebrate. He just collapsed to his knees in silent, exhausted victory.

Kaguya groaned with a furious blush. "He really did it for that… Unbelievable…"

Evangeline pinched the bridge of her nose again. "I don't know whether to laugh or start crying."

The faint hum of the red aura lingered in the air even after the gauntlet vanished from Issei's arm. The entire construct faded in a flash of red particles.

Issei remained kneeling on the grass, breathing hard, shoulders slumped, sweat soaking through his tracksuit. He didn't know how to describe it. But it was quite a rush to his body.

Across from him, Evangeline let out a soft sigh—not exasperated, but grudgingly impressed. "Well," she said, brushing her hair over her shoulder, "I hate to admit it… but I didn't expect that actually to work."

Kaguya raised an eyebrow. "You doubted Nyaruko's motivational technique?"

"I doubted the idea that someone would actually awaken something through sheer perverted willpower," Eva muttered. "But I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. This is our summoner, we're talking about."

"I resent that," Issei wheezed.

Nyaruko clapped her hands and skipped in place, visibly thrilled. "My darling~! You did it! You summoned your weird glowy dragon glove! I'm so proud~!"

"Thanks…?" he muttered, blinking up at her dazedly.

Eva turned to Kaguya, flicking her hand dismissively. "He's spent. Get him up. Let's go home."

Kaguya walked over to Issei and crouched down beside him. With the dignity of royalty and the grace of someone who very rarely offered help, she gently took his arm and hoisted him to his feet and brought his body back to a better state. "Stand, husband. You've earned your rest."

Issei stumbled upright, swaying.

The gauntlet had faded completely now, leaving behind only a dull ache in his bones and a strange tingling sensation in his left hand. 'So that's what's been inside me all along... Why the hell do I have something that insane sealed in my soul?!'

He didn't have the answers. But he had a strong suspicion things were only going to get weirder from here.

The four of them began to walk out of the barrier and down the darkened path toward the city lights.

Evangeline trailed a few steps behind, quietly dispelling the magic field with a wave of her hand. The park faded back into normality, as if nothing had happened.

"Tomorrow," Eva said, "we start testing just what that thing can do."

Issei chuckled weakly. "Can I rest first?"

Kaguya sniffed, adjusting her sleeves. "You'll have to recover properly if you expect your body to adapt."

Nyaruko hummed happily, linking arms with Issei as they walked. "You did amazing today~! When we get home I'll let you play with my girls."

This brought a smile to Issei as he hoped to get home faster.

Finally done with the third chapter of this month. Tell me what you think and if I made any mistakes. Commission for Deus Ex Mina. If you want you can make a commission for me to make your idea into a story but only for people at the emperor tier at my patreon.com/orengeflame. Commissioners that continue to support me by being part of the emperor tier will get 3 chapters a month but for those that only pay once will continue to get 1 chapter a month. Of course the first month you pay will be an automatic 3 chapters.

 

[BoundlessVortigern]

Man, this story's just hilarious from an outsider's perspective. Issei may not fully realize it, but the Waifus he has now are three of the most strongest or absurd people in their own respective settings who have their own specialties and quirks that make then stand out. Of course two of them are petite (even though Eva can take on an adult form that is), but he could get used to it in time while they get used to his own eccentricities lmao. When the Fallen Angels eventually try to attack, they're going to be in for a very rough time.

 

[mental_shifter]

This is an amazing begining and I am shocked it is not more popular

 

[Trilonias]

What sucks is that there isn't more. Also, I think the nsfw area gets more traffic, unless this is posted elsewhere as well?

And here I'm thinking ahead of when Issei's friends confirm to everyone else that his girlfriend is real. Or if those girls show up at the school. The next point is if/when he gets more currency for another roll. Heh.

Would Issei even think about a masquerade in place, or will he inadvertently tear it down?

 

[Isano]

Friday morning brought with it a strange new normal for the Hyoudou household. The birds still chirped outside. The sky was blue. And Issei Hyoudou still woke up with a Nyaruko clinging to his arm.

Some things just didn't change.

After the eventful Thursday night where he, through the sheer power of perversion, managed to summon the red glove, Issei had earned a well deserved rest.

And with that success came... responsibilities.

Like Nyaruko demanding he play with her boobs the moment they arrived home as promised.

—---------------------------------------
Last night
"Okay, Nyaruko-chan, are you sure you're okay with this?" Issei asked nervously as the silver-haired alien bounced excitedly on the edge of his bed, chest puffed up (both literally and figuratively).

"Of course~!" She beamed. "You earned this, darling~! My breasts are your reward! Just please be gentle, they're very sensitive~!"

"Holy crap this is the best day ever."

Just as his trembling hands reached forward—

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!"

The door slammed open with the fury of a thousand suns.

Kaguya, dressed in red and pink traditional clothing, stood with righteous fury in her eyes.

"Issei Hyoudou! What in the name of the Lunar Court are you doing?!"

Issei screamed like he'd been caught cheating on a final exam. "K-Kaguya! I was just—she promised—and I—!!"

"That is no excuse for fondling a woman's chest!" She roared. "What kind of man are you?! What kind of husband?! Plus you dare ogle another in the presence of your wife"

"I'm a pervert! Plus Nyaruko-chan said I could—!" Issei shouted helplessly, as if it were a defense.

"I don't care what that deranged alien told you!" she shouted. "You are my husband now! And I refuse to allow you to rot your mind with such vulgarity!"

Meanwhile, Nyaruko crossed her arms and pouted, clearly offended. "Excuse you, Moon Princess. I gave full consent. My darling deserves affection! He summoned what you wanted and worked very hard, he earned the boob privileges!"

"You are not his wife!" Kaguya snapped.

"I'm waifu #1 and his girlfriend!"

"Well I am the legal spouse, and I demand a higher standard of behavior from my so-called husband!"

"Oh yeah? Then prove it!"

The two girls were soon nose to nose, glaring, hissing, auras clashing like storm clouds. Issei quietly slithered away toward the door like a cartoon character escaping a wild bear fight.

—---------------------------------------------

Downstairs, Evangeline A.K. McDowell, clad in her black gothic dress, lounged lazily on the living room couch. One leg was draped over the armrest, a bag of chips in one hand and the TV remote in the other.

"Idiots," She muttered, hearing the girls argue, she was trying to watch a nature documentary.

She took a sip of the tea Miki Hyoudou had kindly prepared for her earlier.

"If I had known this was what freedom was like, I'd have transferred dimensions sooner."

Miki, ever the gracious host, passed by with a warm smile. "Would you like anything else, Evangeline-chan?"

"More cookies," Eva replied without looking.

"Coming right up."

—--------------------------------------
Nyaruko had taken to helping around the house.

"Mom-in-law~! I did the dishes and vacuumed the living room! Look, I even dusted the family photos and gave your plants alien nutrient juice!"

Miki blinked. "You… what?"

"Don't worry! Totally harmless. Only a 2% chance of spontaneous sentience!"

Gorou sweatdropped but whispered to Miki, "She's kind of growing on me."

However, not all housework was done by hand.

"Cleaning is beneath me," Kaguya said coolly in the middle of the dining room.

With a flick of her wrist, a golden hourglass appeared in the air, flipping itself upside down. The room shimmered, and with a flash—every dust particle and stain vanished. The table was spotless. The air smelled just like Miki cleaned last time.

"House restored to its morning prime," Kaguya declared smugly.

Issei, standing in the doorway, dropped his toast in awe. "That was… awesome."

Miki clapped.

Gorou clapped.

Even Nyaruko clapped, albeit reluctantly, pouting as her ahoge drooped. "Hmph! Show-off spoiled princess…"

Kaguya basked in the attention like a plant in sunlight, her expression serene but smug. "Praise is expected of royalty."

Issei leaned over to Nyaruko. "You know, knowing that you helped mom cook makes this taste better."

"Really?" She perked up immediately.

"Totally." Issei said with a smile.

She beamed and hugged him tight, making Kaguya bristle again.

From the couch, Eva rolled her eyes and turned up the volume.

Miki served hot food while Nyaruko set plates with surprising efficiency, humming a strange alien lullaby. Kaguya sat with dignified grace, lifting her chopsticks, and Eva poked at her food like she was wondering if it would taste good.

Gorou chuckled, sipping sake. "Y'know, I never imagined I'd have three super-powered girls living under my roof… all fighting over my son."

"I'm not fighting," Eva said. "I'm simply supervising his development as he is now my student."

"I'm not fighting either," Nyaruko sang. "I've already won~!"

"...Blasphemy," Kaguya whispered, gripping her chopsticks.

'Life had gotten weird fast,' Issei thought, sitting between an alien police officer, a time-bending moon princess, and a vampire witch who binge-watched cooking shows.

—------------------------------------------

Friday, 11 of April, 2008
The end of the week could come quicker for Issei Hyoudou.

And as the sunlight bathed the modest town of Kuoh on Monday morning, he stood in front of the school gate. His shoulders slouched, his tie was crooked, and he was still slightly sore from the previous night's bootcamp.

He hadn't been back in class for more than five minutes before the vultures began to circle.

"Oi! Issei!"

Two very familiar voices barreled toward him. Matsuda and Motohama, both wild-eyed and dragging their backpacks behind them.

"Mister 'I have a girlfriend now!'"

"You better spill, you casanova!"

Issei barely had time to think before Matsuda and Motohama ran beside him with matching glints of betrayal in their eyes.

"You've got to tell us more!" Matsuda begged. "We need details!"

"How did a degenerate like you get a girl before us?!" Motohama howled, adjusting his foggy glasses.

Issei grinned, basking in the attention. "Sorry, boys. It's just natural charm."

"Lies! You cast a spell, didn't you?! Did you sell your soul?!"

"Something has to explain the miracle!" Matsuda cried.

Issei simply placed his arms behind his head and smirked. "It's not my fault I ascended to greatness. Some of us were chosen by fate. Others… not so much."

The smugness practically radiated off him.

"You suck," Motohama muttered.

"I envy you so much I could die," Matsuda added.

As if on cue, Aika strolled past them with a smug grin of her own.

"Well well, if it isn't Prince Pervert. How's your totally real, definitely-not-hallucinated girlfriend?"

"She's perfect," Issei said proudly.

Murayama and Katase scoffed from nearby.

"Uh-huh," Katase said as she heard them. "And what does she see in you? You must've hypnotized her. Or bribed her. Or blackmailed her."

"Maybe she's blind and mistook him for someone else," Aika added with a smirk.

Issei only grinned wider. "Believe what you want. I've got a girlfriend."

As they continued walking Murayama whispered to Katase, "You think it's true?"

Katase shrugged. "I doubt it will last."

—----------------------------------------
That Night, Kouh Park

CLANG.

Issei crashed against a summoned magic wall again, sweat dripping from his brow, Twice Critical glowing faintly around his left hand.

"Again," Evangeline's voice rang out coldly.

He staggered upright, panting, muscles shaking. "C-Can't I… I don't know… rest for a second?!"

"You'll get to rest when I see results." She said simply.

From her place near a table, Kaguya sipped tea with serene amusement. "You only say that because you're not the one punching shields, vampire."

"I could be punching him instead," Eva offered flatly.

"No, no, the shields are fine!" Issei wheezed.

Nearby, Nyaruko bounced in place in a cheerleader outfit (don't ask how she got it), waving pom-poms.

"You got this, darling~! Just 300 more reps to go~!"

Issei collapsed again.

Twice Critical flickered out in a sigh of exhaustion.

"…Okay. I hate everything," He mumbled into the dirt.

"Be glad you're progressing," Kaguya noted, standing now. "From what we've observed, the glove doubles your strength, defense, and speed. That's quite the benefit for such a simple form."

"But," Eva added, arms folded, "We're sure that's not all it does. There's always more. Sealed abilities. Staged releases."

Kaguya nodded. "We believe you will need to grow stronger to access its true potential."

"Why does every anime power-up come with a gym membership?" Issei muttered.

"Because only the worthy unlock their destiny," Nyaruko chimed cheerfully. "Also, sweaty boys are hot~!"

Kaguya glared at her. "Stop encouraging his hormonal tendencies."

"I shall never stop~!"

Evangeline stepped forward again. "Back on your feet. We'll test you again. I want to see you punch through stone."

"...Can I die instead?"

"No."

A moment later, Issei found himself running another lap, his sore legs burning, the red glove flaring on his arm.

—--------------------------------------

Saturday, 12 of April, 2008
The morning sun peeked through the curtains, casting golden streaks across Issei Hyoudou's bedroom. Birds chirped, his heart was pounding, and for once his mind wasn't filled with pure perversion.

Today was important.

Issei stood in front of his mirror, nervously adjusting the collar of his gray button-up shirt. He wore simple black slacks and had even put on a pair of clean shoes.

"Okay… breathe," He told himself, brushing a hand through his spiky brown hair. "You live with three girls now. And one of them is going on a date with you."

He stared at his reflection, pointed a finger, and grinned.

"You got this, future Harem King."

—-----------------------------------------------
As Issei came downstairs, he stepped into the living room and froze.

There, standing by the front door with a dazzling smile, was Nyaruko.

She wore a warm yellow sweater that hugged her figure and radiated cheer, paired with a short black skirt and sleek black leggings. Her silver hair was tied up in a loose side ponytail, her green eyes sparkled with excitement, and her ahoge twitched with barely contained glee.

Issei's breath caught in his throat. 'She's… cute. Like, ridiculously cute. Why does it feel like she just got ten times more dangerous?'

"Darling~!" Nyaruko greeted, spinning once with a pose. "Tada~! What do you think? Am I date-worthy?"

"I—uh—you—YES."

She giggled. "Good answer~!"

Before they could leave, however, a familiar voice chirped behind them.

"Oh my baby boy's first date~!" Miki Hyoudou, apron still tied around her waist, peeked out of the kitchen holding a dish towel and a camera.

"Make sure to be polite! Don't stare at her chest for too long, okay?"

"MOM!!" Issei barked, face turning bright red.

"Take her somewhere nice!" She added, wiping away a fake tear. "And don't forget protection—your wallet, I mean."

Issei looked like he wanted to melt into the floor.

Nyaruko just hummed, entirely unfazed. "I'll take good care of him, mom-in-law~!"

As they turned to leave, Issei glanced toward the living room.

Evangeline lay sprawled across the couch in a black nightgown, munching on cookies and watching some anime Issei couldn't place—something about magical girls and morally gray eldritch horrors.

"..Do you even like anime?" he asked.

"It's entertaining." She said flatly. "Now leave." She turned up the volume. "The climax arc just started."

"...Fair."

Still, something itched in the back of his mind. 'Wait a second… where's Kaguya?'

—----------------------------------
That question would be answered two minutes later.

Issei and Nyaruko stepped outside, hand-in-hand, walking down the street in cheerful sync. The air was crisp, the skies clear, and for once… things were peaceful.

That was until Issei felt a hand grasp his free one.

"...Huh?" He turned—and nearly jumped.

Kaguya stood beside him, holding his right hand with zero shame. She wore a flowing red kimono, embroidered with cherry blossoms, her hair adorned with subtle clips. Her expression was cool, eyes half-lidded with superiority.

"Kaguya?!" Issei blurted.

"What are you doing here?!" Nyaruko demanded, voice pitched higher than usual.

Kaguya raised her chin. "As his wife, I am simply claiming my rightful place beside my husband. Is this not our date?"

"You weren't invited! This is my date with him!" Nyaruko snapped.

Kaguya smiled sweetly—and smugly. "Don't be ridiculous. The first date should naturally go to the legal spouse. Not the extradimensional concubine."

"Wha—CONCUBINE?! I'll show you a cosmic concubine, you arrogant moon gremlin!"

"I am a princess."

"Then I hope the moon has hospitals!"

Suddenly the peaceful street was filled with a rising aura of battle.

The neighborhood went silent. A dog stopped barking. A child dropped their juice box. Even an old man watering his garden paused, confused as to why two girls were yelling about husbands and space princesses.

"Those poor girls," Someone whispered. "Fighting over that guy?"

"Maybe he has money."

Issei panicked. "Girls—! Time out! TIME OUT!" He stepped between them, raising his hands. "Listen. Look. We're in public. I get it. But we're going to cause a scene."

"You mean she's going to cause a scene," Kaguya muttered.

"I'll cause a meteor shower in her face!" Nyaruko growled.

"ENOUGH," Issei sighed. He turned to Nyaruko and cupped her cheeks gently, making her blink.

"Nyaruko… I know this was supposed to be our day. And I swear, it still is. But if I don't let her come along, she'll either follow us and crash it anyway, or freeze time until we go on a date."

Nyaruko pouted. "It's not fair…"

"I know," he said softly. "So how about this—today, we'll go on our date together, just this once. But after this, I'll take you on another real date. Just you and me."

Nyaruko blinked… then slowly smiled, cheeks tinted pink. "Okay~ You promise?"

"Promise."

Then Issei turned to Kaguya, who was quietly smug… until he fixed her with a serious look.

"But Kaguya. Don't think you're off the hook. This one was Nyaruko's day. I'm only letting you join because I care about both of you. So if you want a real date... I'll give you one later. Just us."

Kaguya's cheeks flushed, eyes widening just slightly. "I-I didn't… I mean… It's not like I wanted to be part of your silly date in the first place, I simply thought it was boring at home and…" She turned her head away. "...Spending time with you isn't the worst thing in the world."

Issei smiled.

—-------------------------------------

Kuoh Town glowed under the soft light of the sun, painting the city in warm amber hues. The streets buzzed with life—couples wandered hand in hand, children chased each other near the park, and the scent of roasted chestnuts drifted from street vendors.

And in the middle of it all, Issei Hyoudou walked awkwardly down the sidewalk... with a girl clinging to each arm.

'This is real. This is actually happening,' he thought, still somewhat dazed. 'I'm holding hands with two beautiful girls. One is an immortal moon princess. The other is a cosmic horror disguised as a girl. And neither of them has tried to kill me in the past hour. This might actually be the best day of my life.'

Nyaruko cheerfully skipped beside him, humming some bizarre, off-tune alien pop song. Her yellow sweater swayed with every bounce, her ahoge twitching with unrestrained joy. On the other side, Kaguya walked with perfect poise in her red kimono, head held high, as if she were being paraded through the imperial capital—though her eyes occasionally flicked to the glass windows of local shops in barely hidden curiosity.

—-------------------------
Their first stop was a small but elegant sidewalk café.

The three of them sat beneath a parasol, with Issei sandwiched between his two dates. He nervously sipped his drink while Nyaruko munched on a parfait she insisted were "the closest thing to intergalactic frozen joy."

But the real surprise came when Kaguya ordered a simple strawberry shortcake.

She'd initially sniffed at it. "This is peasant food."

Then she took a bite.

And her entire world shifted.

"—!"

The fork trembled in her hand. Her pupils dilated. Her fan fell from her fingers with a clatter.

"Oh…" She whispered, mouth still full. "Oh my god… this is divine."

Issei blinked. "Uh, are you okay?"

She didn't answer. She just began eating faster. One bite. Another. Then another.

By the time she was halfway through the cake, her cheeks were smudged with whipped cream and strawberry glaze. Her royal composure had all but disintegrated.

Issei chuckled and reached into his pocket. "Hold still, princess."

"H-Huh?" Kaguya blinked, cheeks stuffed, as Issei leaned forward with a napkin.

He gently wiped the corner of her lips, and her breath hitched. Her face turned red—not from the sugar rush, but from the closeness.

"There," He said with a grin. "All better."

"Y-You dare treat royalty like this…" She mumbled, flustered, even as her eyes softened. "Hmph."

Nyaruko, watching with puffed cheeks, shoved a spoonful of parfait into her mouth like she was stabbing it.

—----------------------------
The next stop: the local arcade.

It didn't take long for Nyaruko to absolutely dominate.

"YES! Another high score!!" She cheered, arms up, standing on the Dance Dance Explosion machine. "This one's going in the Nyaruko Victory Vault~!"

"That's not even a thing!" Issei laughed, watching her do a victory pose.

Kaguya, meanwhile, had been watching the claw machine with narrowed eyes.

"This primitive device... dares to mock me," She said coldly.

Issei stood beside her. "You want to try it again?"

"…Hand me a coin."

A few minutes later, after five failed attempts and rising tension, Kaguya suddenly stopped time for half a second, reset the claw's path, and dropped the plush directly into the prize bin.

"Success," she said, brushing her hair back smugly.

"CHEATER!" Nyaruko cried from the air hockey table.

"I prefer 'intelligent'" Kaguya replied, holding up the bunny plush she'd retrieved.

Issei sighed. "I feel like I should care more. But honestly, that's pretty impressive."

They played a few more games—Issei managed to beat Nyaruko at whack-a-mole (barely), while Kaguya accidentally triggered the jackpot on a slot machine and called it "childish, but amusing."

—---------------------------------
As the sun dipped lower, they stopped at a cozy boutique tucked between the main shopping streets. The moment they walked in, Nyaruko squealed.

"CLOTHES~!" She immediately dashed off to the frilly section.

Kaguya, however, stood near the entrance, looking unimpressed. "I have no need for more attire. This kimono is timeless."

Issei looked at her, then gently tilted his head. "Come on. You've only got a few outfits here. You'll need something more to wear."

"Hmph." But she followed him in.

Twenty minutes later, Issei sat outside the changing room, holding bags of clothes that belonged to the princess while Kaguya timidly emerged in modern wear: a soft pink blouse, a pleated skirt, and flats.

She tugged at the hem. "It's… breezy."

Issei blinked. "You look… really cute."

Kaguya froze.

Then flushed.

"…Shut up."

Meanwhile, Nyaruko came out in a sparkling pink idol costume, complete with star-shaped accessories.

"DARLING~! Should I sing for you?!"

"I don't think the world's ready," Issei replied, sweatdropping.

—-----------------------------
The sun dipped low behind Kuoh Town's rooftops, casting long shadows across the quiet streets as the orange-and-purple sky deepened above.

In the quiet park by the fountain, the trio sat near the bubbling water, framed by trimmed hedges and empty benches. The spring breeze stirred the trees gently, their leaves rustling like a lullaby. The sound of trickling water echoed gently in the background.

Issei exhaled deeply, leaning back on the cool stone edge of the fountain.

On his right, Nyaruko lay sprawled across the bench with her head on his shoulder, humming a soft lullaby.

On his left, Kaguya sat upright, sipping bottled green tea with the air of someone still slightly annoyed by "commoner beverages," but secretly enjoying the flavor.

"Man… I never thought dates could be so exhausting."

"To be fair," Kaguya said from beside him, brushing imaginary dust from her skirt, "it wasn't your effort that made it exhausting."

Nyaruko was twirling in circles nearby, arms raised like she was about to lift off.

"This was the best~! We ate, we played, we SHOPPED. Can we do it again tomorrow? How about every day?"

Issei chuckled. "If my wallet survives."

For a rare moment, the three of them shared a peaceful silence.

That was until Kaguya's brow furrowed. "…Something's wrong," She said, lowering her drink.

Issei blinked, sitting up straighter. "What?"

Kaguya's sharp eyes scanned the surroundings. "There's no one here. Not a single soul. The air feels... warped."

Issei looked around. She was right. The path that usually had joggers and families was now eerily deserted. The leaves had stopped rustling. The sky felt heavier somehow.

"…This feels like Eva's barrier," Issei murmured.

"Except we didn't put one up," Nyaruko added, standing slowly, her smile long gone. "Which means someone else did."

Then it happened.

FWIP—

A flash of pink light—a spear—came flying straight toward Issei's chest.

"ISSEI!" Nyaruko screamed.

In one seamless motion, she ripped a red iron crowbar from beneath her skirt and swung it like a bat, deflecting the holy spear midair with a clang that cracked the air.

The impact caused the spear to burst apart in mid-flight, the light scattering like fireflies.

The peaceful atmosphere was gone.

A low tsk echoed from above. "Such a shame," A female voice rang out, sharp and annoyed.

Descending from the air with slow, deliberate flaps of two black-feathered wings was a woman in a revealing black dominatrix outfit, complete with leather straps, high heels, and a disgustingly smug expression.

Her black hair flowed behind her, her lips curled into a sneer, and another spear of light materialized in her hand.

Kaguya blinked once, then scoffed with all the disdain of a disappointed empress. "…You dare appear in that outfit? Have you no shame? You look like a harlot."

Raynare sneered back. "Spare me, you brat. You're lucky I'm not in the mood to waste time."

Nyaruko's eye twitched. "Who the hell is this bird-brained stripper?"

Issei's eyes widened, realization dawning. "Wait… that face…"

His mind flashed back to the black-haired girl who had shyly asked him out near the school gate.

"Yuuma?!"

Raynare's grin sharpened. "Bingo."

She descended, now standing just a few meters away from them on the path. Her wings folded behind her back like a smug demon's cloak.

"Yuuma Amano was just a disguise," she said, twirling the light spear in her hand. "The real me is Raynare, of the Fallen Angels. And I was sent here for one reason—to kill you."

Kaguya's eyes narrowed. "You're going to attempt an assassination in broad daylight? What kind of low-class villain are you?"

"Please," Raynare spat. "This space under my control. No one's going to save you."

Issei took a step forward, fists clenched. "Why?! What did I do to deserve being targeted?!"

Raynare snorted. "Don't be so dramatic. It's not personal. You just happened to be unlucky enough to awaken a Sacred Gear—one powerful enough to draw attention. If you want to blame someone, blame God."

"What the fuck is a Sacred Gear…?" Issei repeated, confused.

She hurled another spear of light.

But once again—

CLANG!

Nyaruko was there, crowbar raised like a knight's shield, her expression now devoid of all her usual cheer.

Her silver hair shifted slightly over her face, hiding one eye.

"Every. Single. Time," She said in a low growl. "I get one good date with my darling, and some winged weirdo shows up trying to ruin it."

Raynare blinked. "What even are you—?!"

She didn't finish the sentence because Nyaruko had already closed the distance, crowbar in hand. Raynare barely managed to block the first swing with her spear. The resulting shockwave shattered a nearby bench and sent leaves flying in all directions.

"Wh-What the hell?!"

Nyaruko twirled her crowbar, eyes glowing slightly. "I'm done being interrupted."

She struck again. Left. Right. An overhead swing that cracked the pavement where Raynare stood a second before.

Raynare was fast, but Nyaruko was faster.

Kaguya stepped beside Issei, watching with interest.

"She's holding back. If she actually tried, the town might not survive."

"That's… not comforting."

"Don't worry. If she levels the park, I'll rewind it."

"Also not comforting."

Meanwhile, Nyaruko had escalated. Her crowbar began glowing red-hot, and she pulled various other questionable weapons from her skirt hammerspace—giant mallets, net launchers, even a buzzsaw umbrella.

Raynare was panicking now, forced into the air, dodging a barrage of absurd, glowing projectiles.

"This is insane! You're insane!"

"You ruined my date!" Nyaruko shouted back as she continued attacking.

Soon Raynare, seeing that there was no way she could win, tried to run away by flying. But Nyaruko, seeing the bitch escape, jumped high and swung her crowbar downward.

Make Raynare crash loudly into the ground breaking the earth by the force of the impact.

The fight was over.

Raynare looked terrible as her wings were tattered, covered in various bruises and face scratched—lay sprawled on the ground like a broken doll. Her spears of light had vanished, her body limp and unmoving.

Standing over her with her crimson crowbar still smoking, Nyaruko came closer with a wild grin twitching at her lips. Her hair was tousled, and the joy she normally carried had morphed into something darker.

"…That's what you get," She muttered, twirling her weapon. "Nobody ruins my first date and gets away with it… Any last words, featherbrain?" She asked, but the look in her eyes promised annihilation. She took a step forward, eyes narrowing, ready to finish it.

Next to Kaguya, Issei stared wide-eyed at the scene unfolding.

'She's going to kill her. I mean… she tried to kill me. But still…' His fists clenched. 'Killing someone—even someone like her… that's not me. That's not the kind of man I want to be. Besides… she might have answers. About Sacred Gears. About this power. About why I was targeted.'

He looked at Raynare—struggling to get to her feet—and at Nyaruko, ready to strike.

"Damn it…"

Then, without another thought, Issei summoned his red glove with a red flash.

Twice Critical ignited on his left arm. His muscles surged with strength. His steps blurred as he sprinted forward, doubling the speed.

Just as Nyaruko raised her crowbar, Issei appeared between them like a gust of wind.

"Wha—ISSEI?!" she gasped.

And then—

CRACK!

Issei's punch connected squarely with Raynare's temple. Not with lethal force—but enough to slam her into the ground and knock her out cold.

She slumped over, eyes fluttering shut. The fallen angel now lay completely unconscious, a fresh bruise blooming on her jaw.

"…Darling?" Nyaruko asked, confused and slightly betrayed. "Why'd you stop me? She tried to kill you."

Issei hesitated. He stood there for a moment, chest heaving, before scratching the back of his head awkwardly.

"I know," he said. "And I'm not saying I forgive her or anything like that. But…"

He looked down at Raynare's unconscious form.

"But if we kill her, we won't have any answers to why she was sent to kill me."

Kaguya's voice echoed as she stepped toward them. "And what if she wakes up and tries again?" She asked, one brow arched.

Issei shrugged. "Then Nyaruko beats her up again. Simple."

"Aw~" Nyaruko sang, perking up. "You really do rely on me~!"

She gave him a hug from behind, nuzzling into his back. "Even if you did cockblock my finishing move."

"Please don't call it that," Issei muttered.

Suddenly, a voice echoed in the back of Issei's mind—smooth, feminine, and unmistakably mechanical.

[Gacha Harem System Activated.]
[Victory Detected. Condition Met: You have successfully defeated a hostile enemy.]
[Reward Granted: +1 Summon Roll.]

Issei blinked, startled. 'That's new.'

He glanced at the glowing screen that flickered into existence in front of his face, visible only to him.

'"Defeat an enemy, get a roll," huh? That's... kind of messed up. But also weirdly helpful? I guess?' He dismissed the message with a thought, deciding to worry about that later. For now, there were more pressing issues—like the unconscious fallen angel in front of him.

With a sigh, Issei crouched down and gently lifted Raynare into his arms. She was lighter than he expected, her wings twitching once before going still again.

"Alright," he grunted. "We bring her back."

"You're carrying her?" Kaguya asked, arms crossed.

"I can't just leave her here. If anyone sees her like this… wings and all…"

"Fair point," Kaguya admitted.

"You know," Nyaruko said, skipping beside him, "this is the part in the anime where the heroine gets jealous that her boyfriend is holding another girl in his arms."

Issei looked over his shoulder. "You're not jealous?"

"Of her?" Nyaruko scoffed. "Please. She looks like someone who was rejected from the villainess fan club."

Kaguya smirked. "For once, I agree with you."

—---------------

The trio made their way out of the park. The barrier shimmered and cracked behind them as Kaguya dispelled it with a flick of her hand. The real world returned—peaceful, noisy, and filled with people again.

Now they had to sneak through the neighborhood.

Which was easier said than done when you were carrying a half-naked unconscious woman with wings.

"Act casual," Issei muttered.

"I AM casual," Nyaruko said, tossing a trench coat over Raynare's body that she pulled from literal nowhere.

"You keep a trench coat in your skirt?"

"I keep a lot of things in there~!"

Kaguya sighed. "I'm not explaining this to your neighbors if we get caught."

They ducked down alleyways. Took back roads. Hid behind fences and cars. Issei's heart pounded every time a dog barked or a car drove by.

But finally, after what felt like a covert military operation. They arrived at the Hyoudou residence.

'Please let Eva open the door, Issei prayed as they reached the front step. Please don't let it be Mom. Please don't let it be Dad. Please don't let—'

Kaguya took the initiative and rapped the door twice before Issei could even raise his foot.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

The sound of footsteps inside made Issei clench his jaw.

Then—click—the door cracked open.

Evangeline A.K. McDowell stood on the other side of the door with a cup of tea. Her hair was tied in a loose bun, and her eyes narrowed as they landed on:

Issei, sweaty and panicking. A mysterious, unconscious and disheveled woman. Nyaruko, grinning like a proud gremlin. And Kaguya acting her usual self.

Eva took a long, silent sip of tea. "…So." Her voice was dry as desert air. "I take a single day off from babysitting you people and you bring home a half-naked corpse with wings."

"She's not dead!" Issei whispered frantically. "Just… unconscious!"

Evangeline sighed, stepping aside as if this sort of thing happened all the time. "Of course she is."

"Can you, uh…" Issei glanced nervously over his shoulder, "keep my parents distracted? Just while we get her to my room?"

Eva stared at him. Then slowly raised an eyebrow. "Is this a sex thing?"

"No!!"

Nyaruko giggled.

"Because I'm not covering for you if you're into weird kink stuff."

"I'M NOT!!"

Evangeline looked down at Raynare's outfit—torn leather and thigh-high boots. "Could've fooled me," She muttered.

"Evaaaa…" Issei groaned.

She waved her hand lazily, already walking toward the kitchen. "Fine, I'll keep the parents busy. But you owe me. And if this ends in a hostage situation, I'm leaving and moving to Romania."

This is a commission for Dues Ex Mina. So thank him for allowing me to post this for everyone. If you want you can make a commission for me to make your idea into a story but only for people at the emperor tier at my patreon.com/orengeflame. Commissioners that continue to support me by being part of the emperor tier will get 3 chapters a month. Tell me what you think and if I made any mistakes.

 

[DHP386]

are you deciding the summons or actually rolling from a pool of candidates?

 

[Isano]

are you deciding the summons or actually rolling from a pool of candidates?

Click to shrink...

At the moment the commissioner is deciding. But soon I will be rolling from a pool of candidates.

 

[DHP386]

At the moment the commissioner is deciding. But soon I will be rolling from a pool of candidates.

Click to shrink...

What's your pool looking like?

 

[Isano]

What's your pool looking like?

Click to shrink...

At the request of the commissioner mostly girls that are not as popular or talked about. He wants to read more stories about those that are unknown. So don't expect girls that are everyone's favorite.