Source?
A map appears in my head, supplemented a moment later by an image of-.
There aren't many beings in EMH who use
portals as a way to get around...
Amora and Skurge. We haven't seen them since she tried seducing Thor after we were scattered across the Nine Realms. But them being back on Earth is not a good sign, and-.
And I tilt my head back and exhale. I need to pick up Ann Marie, but… But I can't exactly complain about Tony's inability to talk people down if I don't try myself. Amara doesn't have any particular grudge against me… I don't think, and… This is part of being a hero. If someone like me doesn't try, who will?
When you have a Power Ring, you can always afford to try and be the better man. There's very little in this universe that can
threaten you, after all.
That said, I fly towards them rather than just appearing in front of them. Skurge is known to have an itchy axe finger… Or whatever the axe version of an itchy trigger finger is, and it's probably best to give them the time to mentally prepare themselves for interacting with me. Not sure why they're walking around… What appears to be a disused freight warehouse, but better there than somewhere with people I suppose.
...What
is it with cartoons and 'disused' warehouses? Convenient locations with no people around to have to animate, and lots of empty boxes to smash, am I right?
Amora spots me first, but just rolls her eyes and keeps going in the direction she was already heading. Skurge spots me a moment later and immediately turns to face me and readies his axe. I slow, raising my hands in a slightly dishonest show of nonaggression, hovering in the air at a distance that I think puts me out of Skurge's lunge range.
I smile broadly. "Good afternoon!"
I mean, it's not you
have to gesture or even
move if you wanted to trap or bind them...
Amora gazes at me through half-lidded eyes for a moment. "Oh, you're one of Thor's minions, aren't you?"
"Very nearly."
I'm sure Thor doesn't think of him or the other Avengers as
minions...
"I'm busy. What do you want?"
"Peace and goodwill to all men." I nod. That was easy. "What do you want?"
It's been a while since we've heard our OL ask that question. It's fun to hear another orange Paul using it.
She rolls her eyes. "Go away. This doesn't concern you."
"Right… See… I'm concerned that it might. And if I can help you get what you want in a way that doesn't turn parts of New York into smouldering craters, that's in my interests."
Tends to
annoy people, you know. The sort of people who, when annoyed, tend to spout phrases like 'We would have
words with thee...'
I try smiling again. It doesn't seem to be working, but at least Skurge has lowered his axe. Slightly.
"I am resolving some outstanding issues with the Masters of Evil. Your help is not required."
Well, that's something I'm sure Paul here wouldn't mind helping with. (Hmm, need a punchy nickname for him...)
I sigh quietly to myself. "Yes, I thought it might be about that. Look… I… I don't think that your… Your approach-
She snarls. "I will-."
Easy there, Amora. I know you probably have a Ring of Jumping to Conclusions +20 or something, but...
"-to pursuing Thor is going to work."
That appears to give her pause. What, did she thing he wasn't going to tell us about her hitting on him? Which naturally led into a long rambling and slightly drunken retelling of all of her previous attempts, and… And yes, I was the only one who wasn't drinking, but it wasn't that hard to spot the common thread connecting all of their interactions.
...Sometimes it helps to let people finish
talking before jumping down their throats, Enchantress.
"What business is it of yours?"
"Thor's a friend of mine, and last time you made a play for him, I ended up having to fight Super-Loki. And I don't want to have to do that again. And I certainly don't have a problem with you.. getting together with Thor; I have no horse in the race at all. I just-. I just think that the way you're going about it is self-defeating."
I suppose having to throw down with his girlfriend's father wouldn't help. Though I don't remember Hela and Loki having the most
familial relationship in any Marvel material anyway...
Her mouth relaxes but her eyes narrow. "Explain."
She's listening? I mean, good, but I didn't really think-. Okay! Okay.
I mean, this is probably a new situation for her. Most of Thor's usual allies would just cry 'have at thee!' and leap into battle.
"Thor… Doesn't like being pressured into doing things. The whole reason why the situation with Loki could happen is that Thor doesn't.. want to be tied down on Asgard. At the moment he wants to be hanging out with his comrades in arms and fighting the good fight. No matter… How.. good a match you'd be for him, I don't think you're the sort of person he's looking to have a relationship with at the moment."
"He cavorts freely with
that mortal woman. Why does
she receive his favour while I do not?"
Maybe he's a bit bored of
blondes right now?
"Do you know how long humans live?"
She huffs. "Barely any time at all."
Even when a jealous immortal
isn't trying to kill them...
"The oldest human we've got reliable records for lived about a hundred and twenty years. Eighty to ninety years is more common. Asgardians live a lot longer. To be blunt, even if they stayed together to the end of her life… She's not tying him down. Fifty to sixty years… That's nothing to him."
She frowns, but thoughtfully.
And after she's gone... Well, there's always the
rebound.
"And that's where you're going wrong, because… That's nothing to you, either." I shrug. "You can easily afford to run down the clock."
"I should not have to!"
Sometimes a little
patience goes a long way, darling.
"Then the question is, do you want to keep doing what you've done to date, which hasn't worked, or are you prepared to listen to my suggestion."
"What do you know of Asgard? What do you know of Thor, brief mortal creature with a scant few decades of-."
Power Ring, girl. He can easily outlive an Asgardian if he
wanted to.
"I'm dating Hela."
She blinks. And Skurge nearly drops his axe on his foot.
Careful there, big guy. Don't want to take a toe off, do you?
"You're-? You're dating Hela?"
"Yeah. That's where I ended up when the Norn Stones exploded. Spent some time in her realm, we hit it off, and… She seems nice?"
I mean, maybe Amora's a bit confused about the
mechanics of it? Certainly,
Niflheim is just another of the Realms. Albeit one less visited
willingly by most.
She has an expression of mild horror on her face. "Or do you simply lust after dead flesh?"
"The room temperature skin is a bit weird. She used to-. When he first starting seeing each other, she used to wrap herself in warm towels before meeting me to try and stop me noticing, but… You know, everyone's got little.. oddities." I shrug. "And I've learned a lot about Asgardian culture and history from her."
And it's probably a better interpretation of her 'half-deathly' nature than, say, a human woman who's a rotting corpse on one side and perfectly healthy on the other.
Amora's expression moves between various emotions, before she shakes her head in incomprehension. "Then, pray tell, what would you have me do?"
"Thor isn't looking to look up with someone who's queen material. What he wants is fellow warriors. My advice is that you ease off on the seduction thing; he knows that you're interested and nagging just puts him off and makes your position look weak. Instead, take the opportunity to fight alongside him. Make sure that he has good memories of working with you, because you can afford to play the very long term."
In other words, make him think with
both heads, not just the one below the belt.
Hela was pretty sure that Amora has never done anything long term in her life. Apparently, she got kicked out of witch school for her impatience, and just sort of went from one mentor figure to another learning what she could before they finally lost patience with her attitude and gave her the boot. But if she really wants Thor then she's going to be as well-motivated as she gets.
She's looking at me sceptically, but at least she's listening.
And not throwing spells at you, which would definitely be a major weakness for this incarnation still.
"And what about his pet human?"
"The human brain stays infatuated for a few months at the start of a relationship. After that… They have very different lives. It's quite possible that those differences will drive them apart in a year or two anyway. And if it doesn't, it's a few decades. The important thing is that you don't have anything to do with their relationship ending, because if you do then he will remember that for the rest of your lives and that's a very long time. Killing her -if you were thinking of doing that- will actually hurt your cause."
Of course, if something her 'Mighty Thor' future plays out, all bets are off
entirely...
I can see her thinking it over, trying to find some fault in what I just said.
"And if I am patient, what then?"
Sometimes being the quickest isn't always the best. Endurance can be more useful than haste, in battle or in love.
"Then your time together will have caused you to built up a rapport, a sense of camaraderie, that will serve as a far better starting point than the antagonistic relationship you have now. And then, in the distant future when he's ready to settle down, there's his comrade in arms Amora, who's made no secret of her interest and share centuries of history. There are no guarantees, but I really do think this is your best chance."
"Fighting besides him."
Hey, it can be fun. Just look at how well he gets along with the Avengers.
"Yes."
"Hm." She appears to come to a conclusion. "I was hunting down the other Masters of Evil. I assume that he desires their defeat also?"
That would be a safe bet, yes.
"We're doing the same thing."
"I somehow doubt that; I was planning on slay them."

Pfft, like that
ever sticks.
Ah. "Now, normally I'd be fine saving Israel the cost of a rope, but in this instance I think that showing Thor that you're prepared to follow mortal law would work better for you. Because-."
"Thor and I will outlive them all, yes. Very well; call upon Thor and we shall hunt these vermin together."
Because
they were founded by Baron Zemo and Arnim Zola, yes? Yeah, I think they'd want
those Nazi scalps to put to trial for themselves.