I will be telling this story for years to come.
So, a good while ago I was working at a fried chicken restaurant, drive through in the late evening. A lady pulls up to the window with (I assume) her daughter in the passenger's seat. When I open the window, the daughter yells "Hey Hot Stuff!" and her mother turns and hits her shoulder. They're both smiling and laughing. I smile with them but remain professional, taking their money and telling them their order will be ready in a bit (they got a family meal, I think, lots of chicken.) Then I went back to doing- whatever it was I did between orders while I waited for the rest of theirs to come out. It was a busy night though, so it took a few minutes, and I stopped after a bit, looking around for something else that needed to be done... when I happened to check the window, maybe six feet away from it at that point.
They're both looking my way... and the daughter, seeing me looking, opens her mouth and starts rolling her tongue around in a vaguely lewd fashion. Her mother sees me snerk, turns to see what she's doing, and smacks her again. They both turn back to look at me just as I stick my tongue out- nothing fancy, just to the chin. I mean, I'm no Gene Simmons, but... well, both their jaws drop. I laugh, wipe my chin off on my shoulder, and get back to work. A few minutes later I open the window to hand them their order... and the daughter yells "My friend in the back wants your number!"
I laughed, gave her mother the food (after she smacked her daughter again) and wished them a happy evening.
~~~
Then there was the more recent thing when I worked security at a high-dollar hotel. Not five-star or anything, but in the middle of downtown with lots of rich traffic. This was not the average "Sir, please wear pants in the hallway."
I begin my patrol on the 17th floor. The floors were in an L shape, so I first turn left outside of the elevators, around the corner along the shorter hallway to check the stairs on that side before going to the other end to go down.
As I turn the corner, the first door past the corner opens on the right. I look at the man standing there- older guy, kinda overweight but not fat... and completely naked. I look down to check that he is indeed not wearing anything, then look back up, raising an eyebrow in the process. He shuts the door.
And then there was the night when I discovered it is possible to be too drunk to use a vending machine... second-hand, thankfully.
And then there was the bat... three times, I tell people there's a bat in the stairwell.
"So?"
"It's a bat!"
"So bring it down and put it in the lost and found."
"What?"
"Or throw it in the trash."
"No, it's not a baseball bat, it's a bat, you know, a flying mouse, flap flap squeak squeak?"
Three times I had this conversation, and not a single one of them with the authority to pass it on and maybe have the owner call animal control gave a single fuck.
I finally found him when he was too tuckered out to fly away after panicking up and down the stairwell on the third day. He was hanging from the top of one of those in-door windows, with his front against the glass, so I made a cup out of my suit-jacket's arm and scooped him gently into it, held my other hand over the top to keep him in, raised both hands above my head so I wouldn't trip over the other sleeve, and went down fourteen flights of stairs like that to the ground floor so I could get him outside. He was pretty well-behaved- didn't bite or really scratch me, though he tried to get out a few times he didn't actually resort to violence. Showed a picture to a friend later and she told me it was a "Mexican Freetail."
That was the second bat I've ever removed from a site I was working at. The first was a bit more exciting because it was very energetic- and its echolocation could not apparently pick up a single open door. Opening a set of double doors for it to get out finally worked, thankfully, but I had to chase it around shutting doors behind it for an hour before I managed to corner it in a spot I could do that.