"Humans were transported to thousands of worlds across the stars, granted lands to farm and mine. In return, they hailed those who took them there, granted them safety and order, as their gods. A few centuries later, on a world called Dakara, the greatest-" I nod at the Second Prime. "-of human warriors and their families were brought even closer to their gods when the first jaffa were created, humans granted great strength, long life and immunity to disease and poison by their gods in exchange for fighting in their service and carrying their infants in their abdominal pouches."
And talking up the worthiness of his soldiers, of course. Though admitting that the goa'uld symbiote is an 'infant god' might be a
little controversial. Then again, that's what the Jaffa are told, is it not?
I focus on Mrs. Duxley.
"Is any of what I just said untrue?"
"...From a certain point of view." Shush, Obi-Wan.
She hesitates.
I give her a small smile and a shrug. "Missus Duxley, you are not one of my people. Regardless of what you say, the worst I will do is send you home. Answer freely."
Which is
parsecs more permissive than many of his colleagues would allow.
"That-. That's.. probably true as far as I know. I hadn't heard of Dakara, but I… Guess that jaffa had to come from somewhere. But that doesn't make you gods."
"The fact that we have entire worlds worshipping us doesn't make us gods."
To quote someone upthread...
Omnipresence? He can teleport anywhere he needs to be in an instant.
Omniscience? He can know anything he wants so long as his Ring isn't blocked by Plot Armor.
Omnipotence? There isn't anything his Ring can't do as long as he wants it hard enough.
Hard to argue he
isn't a god with performance like that.
She takes a breath, draws her self up and looks me straight in the eyes.
"No."
Ooh, courageous, to
beard the
serpent in his lair. (The second verb meaning, to confront and/or oppose)
"Alright. What would?"
"Excuse me?"
Heh. Nice legalistic trick. Get her to define the term as she means it, and show how you meet all the criteria.
"You're using the word 'god', so presumably you're attaching certain characteristics to it. How would you define a god?"
She shakes her head. "I'm a Christian. I don't define 'a' god in the sense of an actual thing because there aren't any. A god is a fictional being worshipped by people."
...Ah. And there we see one of the
issues, then.
"And I'm not a god because I'm not fictional?"
"You're not a god because you're a… You're a three foot long serpentine parasite attached to that man's brain."
And for any
regular Goa'uld host, that would be accurate.
"And Jesus Christ was just a Jewish architect?"
"No, he's the son of God."
He can be both. Had to do
something until the divinity woke up, after all.
"No, come on. That's not how the trinity works. Even I know that. He was at once the son of God and your god himself, a god made mortal to walk amongst mankind as one of them, to suffer and die as they do."
"That-. You.. should probably talk to a priest. And you're still a parasite."
In Paulmon's defence he is technically an atheist himself, and his knowledge of bible canon is probably a bit fuzzy, yes.
"Technically, true." I tilt my head back and command Am-heh to crawl out of my mouth. Ow. I make my eyes go vacant as construct Am-heh wiggles at the crowd. For the humans it's the first time they've seen something like this. For the jaffa the only puzzling thing is why 'I'm' orange. Then I pull Am-heh back in. "But is that necessarily all that I am?"
"Yes, because you're not God."
Bet
that got a few gasps from the rubes. Though Bastet will be interested to know how he managed it. Probably be explained as 'An illusion.
My symbiote I never
actually left
its my rightful place.'
I smile, bowing my head. "Ah, Christianity. You do realise that the Abrahamic religions are a product of folk memories of Ra and El, don't you? Ra's dead, but I can take you to meet El if you like. And his wife, Asherah."
She shakes her head. "The goa'uld left Earth three thousand years ago. Christianity is two thousand years old."
Few religions spring fully formed from the mind of a single creator. Those that do... Usually said creator is very charismatic and persuasive.
"And was it invented full cloth, or did it draw upon earlier traditions?"
"It-. Early on, it drew on Jewish traditions."
Entirely true. The classical
Bible is even an adapted version of the Hebrew holy books with some editing and some new bits. Though discussion of it might be beyond the bounds of this thread, so let's leave it at that?
"Ah, there you are. But please don't be offended. I'm not singling your religion out. We were on Earth for six thousand years. There isn't much in Earth religion that isn't related to us."
"I don't need to add anything to 'parasite' to understand what you are. God is all-knowing and all-powerful and he created the universe. You're not, you aren't and you didn't."
Ah, and now he refutes her argument, hmm?
I lean back in my chair. "What do you know about goa'uld genetic memory?"
"You.. know everything that your parents knew."
Well, at least they know
that much.
"Ah, everything that my mother chose to pass on. And because that was true of their parents as well, all the way back to our original home, I have hundreds of thousands of years of memories. Given time, I can build almost any device used in goa'uld space. I have memories of hundreds of civilisations, thousands of species, millions of conversations with people and peoples long dead. I can call them to mind nearly as easily as I can talk to you now. I can concentrate a little and see any part of this world. With a little effort I can see any part of this star system-."
Time and the resources. It's not like a Goa'uld can build a warp drive out of rocks
directly.
"With technology you try and tell people is 'magic'."
"That's just two different labels for the same thing. When we first encountered humans they didn't have the slightest notion of how our devices work. The word in that early language essentially translates as 'magic', and they kept using it even as we explained how to use it. I'll admit, we haven't been the best at explaining things, but that's not something that any goa'uld has ever had to do for another goa'uld because we're born knowing things like that. So we use a word that makes it sound like some sort of 'spiritually elevated mystery' and you use one that makes a quantum communicator sound like a door hinge." I shrug. "It's literally semantics. We're talking about the same thing. What's the difference?"
Clarke's Third Law. Or to put it another way: One man's magic is another's advanced science.
"The implication that they can only use it because you let them, whereas technology is something anyone can learn how it works."
"Do you know how your personal computer works?"
And not just in the 'move mouse, press buttons, see results' angle, either. Modern technology
is rather arcane to those not learned in its principles...
"Not in detail, but plenty of people do."
"Ah, of course. So, in summary, I'm a member of species that lives for thousands of years, knows more about everything that your entire species, is responsible for spreading humans to thousands of worlds, has devices that can do things you can't comprehend and is literally worshipped by a religion. Yes?"
"
If someone asks if you're a God, Ray... You say 'YES'!" Turns out the Goa'uld follow that logic well.
"It's not that simpl-."
"Yes?"
"… Yes."
Joy of being able to apply a bit of intimidation to prevent 'qualifying' arguments... "Yes,
but..." "It's not that simple..." "Well, actually..." So annoying when people try that stuff to avoid giving an inch.
"And to you that doesn't say 'god' because your religion says that gods other than yours don't exist. But to my people it says 'god'. There's no practical disagreement, you're just applying a different label." I mock-frown at her. "And being weirdly insistent on it."
She takes a moment to assemble a reply. "I suppose you could look at it like that."
If they're happy to call him a god, whatever the reason, then he's a god. It's that easy. The problem is largely that earlier Goa'uld didn't give people the option of
debating the point.
I smile at the crowd. I think that we've left them a little behind, but the court recorder is dutifully writing everything down. "Good! Good. So, in conclusion-."
I get up and walk up to Kasrin's mother before crouching down and smiling at Kasrin. She doesn't really respond.
Probably confused by all the grown-up talk. Most kids probably tune out when adults start talking about things the kid doesn't understand much.
"So, in conclusion, I'm both a 'god' and a 'snakehead', because those are one and the same thing. Do you understand?"
She shakes her head.
Hah. Well, it'll make sense when you're older and wiser...
"Well, maybe you will one day." I reach out and gently pat her on the head. "Thank you for coming here today, Kasrin. Kiss your dolly for me, okay?"
"'kay."
See, now
that command, she can get behind.
I straighten up and smile at Mrs. Duxley.
"Thank you for coming. Please, return to your school. I'll have the letter for you to pass on to your superior later."
And it had better be passed on, or he might get irritated.
