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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. Valiran

    Valiran Making the rounds.

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    If he feels like a change of forums, he can always head over to Frozen In Carbonite, SB’s third offshoot forum created to avoid what the residents see as overzealous moderation.
     
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  2. Buggy123

    Buggy123 I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    I mean, it's actually kinda not that easy to change. He wouldn't have to rewrite everything, but he'd have to re-read the entire thing and check each word that comes up to see if it's one that needs to be replaced, because 'he' comes up a lot but only a few would need to be changed. Ctrl-f would only highlight them, and find-and-replace would replace all of them.
     
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  3. AsTheGlassMelts

    AsTheGlassMelts Believe in me!

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    Is Paul's last name Chandler? That's a candle related name, and really common.
     
  4. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker, Rookie Proofreader

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    Good to see the whole Angel thing has had some lasting effect on him after all...

    An extra word there, or you meant "...fly to your home..."

    Not surprised she picked up on his apparent knowledge of the Dial.

    America's got a lot of badly trained superheroes...

    And a reasonable explanation to Beryl for his knowledge.

    Stray quotation mark.

    Extra space here.

    I turn back to the entrance of their home where a couple of uniformed police officers walk up.
    (Extra word in one place, missing one in the other? Two for one.)

    Guessing this is that whole 'arrested for breaking into your own home' thing in action... Or something more sinister.

    Can't say that's everything, but I've done my best... Those extra spaces are especially tough to see.
     
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2019
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  5. Brian_Fiction

    Brian_Fiction Terribly Lost

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    I'm unsure what crime he could have possibly commited. Besides maybe breaking into his own apartment.
     
  6. PDV

    PDV ?

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    It's been suggested (several times, once by yours truly), and no. Speculating further is discouraged.
     
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  7. l---erddad---l

    l---erddad---l [MASTURBATION][AGREEMENT][EJACULATION][AGREEMENT]

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    I just want to point out that regardless of what you decide, I started reading and immediately noticed that you aren't very consistent with him/her in regards to that person. Is that intentional?

    For example

     
  8. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat The Dawn Will Cum

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    Apparently he stole bags of money from a couple of bank robbers? Might be they told the police they were coerced by a supervillain.
     
  9. Travisplo

    Travisplo Dapper Necromonsieur, a fine undead gentleman

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    So, all he needs to do is just, return the bag of money, right? A simple "Oh sorry, I completely forgot about that with the 'becoming a woman' thing, here's the money I took from the robbers." And how the hell did the police have his name and connect it with the woman who took money from the bank robbers?
     
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  10. iamnuff

    iamnuff Connoisseur.

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    In a case where there's He/She confusion, I kind of like taking the route of just switching pronouns semi-randomly to indicate viewer/narrator confusion.

    That way nobody can tell you that you're wrong.

    A Practical Guide To Evil had a bit more structured version of that, where The Page's description switched from male to female and back again in a repeating pattern.

    Then again,that was less to do with his mental gender and more to do with people just not being able to tell if she was physically male or female.
    Given the magic of the setting, the answer could have easily just been 'yes' or more worryingly, 'no'.
     
  11. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat The Dawn Will Cum

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    That's like a lot of stories where someone's looking at Itachi. Or Elves, when they mistakenly think there are male elves.
     
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  12. King of Frost

    King of Frost Wishing I was somewhere colder no doubt.

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    Unless they saw him entering the apartment, how did they make the connection between the two to show up there?

    Unless OL or someone else already uploaded the information connecting the two, but I doubt that.
     
  13. Prince Charon

    Prince Charon Just zis guy, you know?

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    Interesting part, though like the rest of us I'm wondering what Mr. Hamill is being arrested for. Indecent exposure? That outfit was pretty skimpy, IIRC.

    Slightly surprised that the thread didn't get locked, considering the number of mod warnings in a rather short period.

    I sometimes use 'they' as a gender-neutral pronoun.
     
  14. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat The Dawn Will Cum

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    I use 'they' a lot too, out of being lazy and wanting to avoid thinking in specifics.
     
    Last edited: Jan 28, 2019
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  15. Prince Charon

    Prince Charon Just zis guy, you know?

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    Wasn't meaning it in the context of gender politics, which we should not discuss on this forum.
     
    Rebu likes this.
  16. Moderation: Final Notice
    Master of Squirrel-fu

    Master of Squirrel-fu Judging You Internally Moderator

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    Okay, so just before I go to bed for work I get warnings about attempted doxxing.
    Given things that have happened in the past couple days I have come to a decision.


    Discussion on the topic of gender, the labeling, politics, or otherwise there of is hereby to be put to an IMMEDIATE Halt.
    Discussion on the the personal details, real, theorized, or fictional, of Mr Zoat, his name, his contact information, or even his favorite color is FORBIDDEN.


    Mods will be reviewing this thread to determine if doxxing was attempted, if so who was responsible, and what punishments, if any, will be meted out.
    If you have posted ANYTHING that can be reasonably considered doxxing attempts DELETE THEM IMMEDIATELY.


    For now, I will leave the thread open, if you see any posts after this that violate these rules please report them. If you see any previous posts that appear to be doxxing attempts also report them to help mods locate them.

    - Good Night
    Warning no longer relevant after further review
     
    Last edited: Jan 28, 2019
  17. Rebu

    Rebu gentle hands and the heart of a fighter

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    Don't forget the other rumors about some ten year old kid with a similar device, except it turns him into aliens.


    Casnake monster.


    I've done that too, especially when the change is creeping up on the subject. In one story I read, the character was slowly changed to a woman physically and mentally, but the author deliberately kept using "he" from the character's internal POV. Others, of course, saw then as female.
     
    Last edited: Jan 28, 2019
  18. Simon Buchan

    Simon Buchan Making the rounds.

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    Is it weird that that makes me legitimately feel a little more warm and fuzzy? Or is that the hellfire?
     
  19. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat The Dawn Will Cum

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    Nah, it's never about Doxing. A story plot point is that Paul can't say or even think his own name. In one chapter Robin managed to go through a list of letters with him to finally get his first name, and then later on the closest anyone came in 'The Team' was Candle as a surname. This is all fairly early on in the story, first month in the story.

    It became a mystery that remains unsolved in the story to this day, and nearly everyone new tries to have a guess. Then the new person is told in the comments that Zoat doesn't want people to try and guess anymore.

    It pops up every couple of weeks when new people finish the story, or get to that point. An authors note at the end of that specific chapter would likely end the guessing.
     
    Last edited: Jan 28, 2019
  20. Pinklestia

    Pinklestia Versed in the lewd.

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    Hence why they should have waited a few days to clean things up.
     
  21. Sockmonkey

    Sockmonkey Know what you're doing yet?

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    IIRC Warforged can mod themselves to include integral armor, weapons, and stuff, so adding a penis is no problem.
     
  22. Senevri

    Senevri Making the rounds.

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    What if flaking is being true to himself?
     
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  23. Coda

    Coda Not too sore, are you?

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    Might as well roll me into it as well. I'm generally not one for Internet drama, but this sounds like something I probably ought to inform myself about.
     
  24. Moderation: Retraction
    Master of Squirrel-fu

    Master of Squirrel-fu Judging You Internally Moderator

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    It appears, after some investigation, that I had misunderstood the situation due to a lack of context. I would like to issue an apology to AsTheGlassMelts and @pvd for this. I will not make excuses for this as it is my fault for not doing proper research into the topic before reacting. A thanks to Megaolix for both being able to do so and reverting my warnings and edits.

    The previous warning can, for the most part be ignored. While, of course, Doxxing is not something allowed, there is no need to enforce such strong restrictions in this thread. On discussions of gender, as it was in reaction to a misunderstanding the warning is also to be taken back, though a reminder to try and keep it on topic to the story itself. Such discussion does toe the line of Rule 8 but so long as things remain civil there won't be a need for mod intervention for ontopic discussions.
     
  25. Psyga315

    Psyga315 Experienced.

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    There's also Digital Wild West. DW
     
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  26. Coda

    Coda Not too sore, are you?

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    I love this so much.

    I can't tell you how much I appreciate it when a moderator is able to acknowledge and apologize for a minor mistake and no one has hard feelings for anyone. This isn't even a situation where it was strictly necessary, as the admonishments given weren't even inaccurate, just a little bit over-harsh. You could have gotten away without saying anything and everything would have gone below the radar.

    I know from experience that being a moderator is a thankless job, so I want to make a point of expressing this openly: Thank you, sincerely, for being the kind of moderator I like to see.
     
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  27. t1m3l3ss

    t1m3l3ss Getting some practice in, huh?

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    Didn't the girlfriend file a police report for "attempted breakin"? Guessing here, but it could be she reported a woman using her boyfriend's name. She got clued in that was legit him later, but may not have had time to inform the police or outright forgot to.
     
  28. Sordid Snake

    Sordid Snake (Verified Viper)

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    Has OL gotten any invitation to be a guest on the muppet show? He could fight with the cookie monster about what "C" stands for...

    "Cookie Monster of Earth, You hold great love for Cookies. Welcome to the Cookie Jar Corps. Yum!"
     
  29. Chaoswind

    Chaoswind Lord of nonsense

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    I guess the super heroine body the guy is piloting is fairly distinctive too.

    Two crooks tell police they were robbed of the money they stole by a buxom blonde vigilante with electric powers and flight, then a woman claims a buxom blonde woman with electric powers that can fly broke into her apartment later that same day.

    You don't have to be a Detective to figure that one out, what I don't understand is how Robin failed to address the issue, he is competent enough to search the local police database, at with point he would have told Paul what the police have and that the "woman/man" paul is escorting may be a criminal.


    Ps: Its young justice season 3 any good? I am not invested in the series any more (DC in general aside this fic) so I am not interested in watching it unless it is great, and I mean into the spider verse levels of great.
     
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  30. Vaermina

    Vaermina I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Maybe?

    There's a good chance that if the crooks were caught they tried to make her out to be their boss in an attempt to get a lighter sentence. And if so, there's probably a bunch of paperwork and confirming the cops would have to do to clear everything up. As to finding her name/location, well, her method of flight isn't exactly subtle. So they could probably track her down with traffic cams and the like.
     
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