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Recent content by Navrin

  1. Navrin

    SALLY not SALLY (a broken SI in the Archie Sonic setting)

    Silly Autumn Rose. Being extremely durable means that you aren't an active liability in the fight and you can afford to act as a distraction to him. That already means you're providing some degree of combat power compared to you not being there. So it's making your side more likely to win and...
  2. Navrin

    SALLY not SALLY (a broken SI in the Archie Sonic setting)

    Suggestion: Add quotation mark to end. At least they actually noticed that Robotnik escaped. Progress! Maybe they'll even try him in absentia, condemn him to death, and give everyone permission/encouragement to kill him if they get the opportunity! He certainly deserves it infinitely more than...
  3. Navrin

    SALLY not SALLY (a broken SI in the Archie Sonic setting)

    Autumn Rose it is, then. I'm guessing part of the reason for the decision was them knowing (or at least suspecting) that Autumn Rose cared about her bond with Rosie Woodchuck more than with them, what with it being basically an unmitigated positive, and that not having the name honor her would...
  4. Navrin

    SALLY not SALLY (a broken SI in the Archie Sonic setting)

    Suggestion: Add closing quotation mark. I hope Max's genocidal remark didn't spark any murder attempts. It must have hurt a lot of people to hear that.
  5. Navrin

    SALLY not SALLY (a broken SI in the Archie Sonic setting)

    Suggestions: Add quotation mark to end. Remove quotation mark from end. End of suggestions. Are you sure it wouldn't just make it more fun? :P
  6. Navrin

    SALLY not SALLY (a broken SI in the Archie Sonic setting)

    Suggestion: Add quotation mark to the end. Also, fully agreed that time manipulation like that is existentially horrifying in a bunch of ways.
  7. Navrin

    SALLY not SALLY (a broken SI in the Archie Sonic setting)

    To the best of my knowledge this isn't like Princess Tutu where some authors have reality warping power, and even if it is I am almost certain that neither Rosie nor Nicole have that particular power. Granted, they could always test this hypothesis with you if you're really curious... :P
  8. Navrin

    SALLY not SALLY (a broken SI in the Archie Sonic setting)

    Suggestion: Add quotation mark to end of sentence. She doesn't continue speaking on the next paragraph, after all. (Unless I am horribly misreading what's intended) I'm glad Rosie is finding a place in the world for her. Given how much more welcoming the villagers of Knothole are to Nicole it...
  9. Navrin

    SALLY not SALLY (a broken SI in the Archie Sonic setting)

    Suggestion: There's a double negative in this sentence. I would suggest getting rid of the "not" between "to" and "take". Also, that is a very helpful property to have. Could they reasonably give one to everyone, or are they too limited for that? Or are there sufficient demands for their usage...
  10. Navrin

    SALLY not SALLY (a broken SI in the Archie Sonic setting)

    Suggestions: add comma between "understandable" and "if" since you could remove "if annoying" from the sentence without breaking its meaning. I believe this should technically be "toward", but "towards" is a very common usage. End of suggestions. Hopefully the people trying to cover up the...
  11. Navrin

    SALLY not SALLY (a broken SI in the Archie Sonic setting)

    Suggestion: Remove quotation mark from the end. Not-Sally, I'd advise you to actually inform Sally that you're scared of Rotor and Chuck. At minimum knowing why you're following her around would probably make her more comfortable, and she might be able to convince/coerce them into leaving you...
  12. Navrin

    ChatPtV (Dinah Alt-Power)

    This is fun. Thank you for writing and sharing. Congratulations on remembering that Rory has two sisters. Also, Dinah is being rather mean; I hope she's kinder later on. At least Chat PtV doesn't seem to care rather than having crippling self-esteem issues like Fragile One/Waste had. Is the...
  13. Navrin

    QUEEN of PAIN

    At absolute minimum Neo would be opening up a new front that Eggman has to contend with or abandon his hold on, so probably a net win for the world even if he did decide to be evil about rulership for some reason. I'm glad they talked things out. :)
  14. Navrin

    QUEEN of PAIN

    I am guessing you want "Breezie" rather than "Breezxie". Poor Belle. I'm glad she at least had somewhere to hide and a hug, though the concealment and the comfort were probably a lot less than she should really have had.
  15. Navrin

    FLAMBÉ the FOX

    This is probably rhetorical, but in case it is not: A major factor is that you already know what you intended. Even if the memory has faded some you probably know notably more than another person would. So your brain is much, much better at filling in the meaning of what you have so it's harder...
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