Of Ice, Roasts, and Tiny Arms/Frostburn (Pokemon Fic)

[Tart]

Chapter 1

At first there was nothing, as there always had been for Kyurem. It had neither Ego nor emotions, an empty vessel.

It was what remained of something that was once glorious and complete.

Kyurem would have remained that way for the rest of its existence, a soulless, emotionless, vessel. At least it would have been like that if not for the sudden and intrusive flood of memories it, now he, had gotten.

Memories, emotions, not his own flooded the legendary dragon.

Kyurem was still a dragon, still the same legendary, it-he didn't suddenly become some sort of different being. But the memories, those belonging to a human, had given the empty vessel life. The empty void that was Kyurem was now filled with something.

Though whether those memories were good or bad was up for debate.

As Kyurem became self-conscious of everything, of his surroundings, the cave he was in, reconciling the past and his prior-unlife.

One burning question arose.

For something that was once an empty vessel, Kyurem had only one question with his new found emotions and life. One burning question that stood out from all others. A byproduct of the human memories that had sparked 'life' into Kyurem and filled that former emptiness.

As the memories settled and became organized. Kyurem formed his own ego, a sense of self based on the memories of that human in his mind, from a world Kyurem had never seen.

Then came the question.

"What the fuck is a Reddit?" Kyurem asked himself, truly awakening for the first time since…ever? Had Kyurem even truly been alive to begin with until now? All Kyurem knew from what his 'memories' told him was that whomever this Ghetsis fellow was…all signs indicated that his actions classified him as a complete and utter CHUD. "Heh, CHUDsis."

At least if Kyurem was using the human-slang correctly. Strange, the human language was miraculous for being able to make some of the most utterly insane yet accurate descriptions of things.

A desire to shitpost that wasn't Kyurem's own manifested.

In the absence of truth, and ideals. These memories gave Kyurem life, conscious, and the extreme desire to watch Japanese cartoons while eating hot chip.

"Bah, stupid cozy human memories…I wonder how much getting a pc and pokenet access would cost?" Kyurem wondered, despite his open 'disdain' for mortal comforts. Pacing around his cave and attempting to cup his chin to ponder. "Right, tiny arms…fucking Zekrom, dragon of Ideals? Ideally I'd have liked to keep the arms in the divorce, bastard."

Kyurem would have continued his rant if it were not for one pressing issue at the moment, CHUDsis. In particular, the plans the Team Plasma leader had as a 'backup', namely fusing Kyurem with Zekrom or Reshiram.

"Oh fuck that." Kyurem huffed, his breath creating several glaciers in the cave. As much as Kyurem loathed the dragons of truth and ideals. He had no intention of trading his newfound life, even if it meant being a…redditor, or whatever Kyurem was now. "Right. Got it, I know what I need to do."

Kyurem would hop the fuck out of Unova and migrate to another region. There were plenty of places Kyurem could go to avoid the CHUD of plasma and his ADHD son.

Thankfully Kyurem had some knowledge on how his powers worked.

Not like he would need to use them, Kyurem was going to be living the easy life once he went to that new region. Get a pc, some pokenet access, really kick back and enjoy being a shut-in Legendary. "Now where could I go? Somewhere nobody would recognize me? Maybe just go to Kanto and hope for the best? Meh, I'll just fly in that rough direction."

With that plan set, Kyurem immediately began sauntering out of the cave it had been situated in. It had a name, just not one Kyurem could recall or bring himself to care about.

Meh, Kyurem didn't have fond memories of the place anyways.

Or any memories prior to that messy divorce with Reshiram and Zekrom. Took Truth, Ideals, and the damn kids with them. Damn well left Kyurem in a messy situation with the whole ego death case and all that.

"...I want cup noodles." Kyurem muttered, looking up at the sky once he 'exited' the cave, or rather, when he made a big enough hole to leave. The cold air and snow pelted Kyurem's body, he had a feeling that he could control the weather to a degree. "Like riding a bike."

It was second nature to Kyurem, weather manipulation, he'd been doing it for…a long time? It was hard to measure the passage of time in his prior state.

Either way, manipulating the weather served Kyurem's purposes well.

The legendary dragon, the husk of Truth and Ideals was going to get out of dodge. No wannabe megalomaniac Chud was going to forcefully fuse Kyurem with either of his former divorcees.

"Screw Unova, screw Zekrom and Reshiram. And screw Chudsis." Kyurem muttered to itself. Using his ice type energy to increase the density of the snow in the surrounding area. Further manipulating and molding the ice around its 'wings' so that he could fly. "I don't know who Lysandre is either, but fuck him in particular too."

It was also during this time that Kyurem decided that he hated humans, and wanted nothing to do with them if he could help it. At least if the memories from this human were to be trusted.

Something to do with a 'Bul-ba-pedia' and a Pokemon 'Sub-red-it'?

"But humans do create the most interesting inventions." Kyurem pondered out loud to himself, which may not have been the healthiest form of communication. But Kyurem was already something of a 'shut-in' prior to these memories, and had no issues. "Damned humans, tempting me with their flying machines and tiny square boxes."

At least talking out loud to himself kept Kyurem from experiencing that thing humans called 'boredom'.

"Another stupid human concept, like their stupid 'laptops' and their fancy 'Starbucks'." Kyurem huffed out, annoyed that he now had to deal with the baggage of human 'emotions', and the knowledge of human 'technology'.

Even as Kyurem openly detested humans, and their inventions. A part of him could not help but crave the modern convenience offered by technology.

In other words, Kyurem was being a hypocrite.

Something the humans would say was, 'Mid' or 'Ass'.

Hypocrisy and slang aside.

Kyurem had not stopped his actions outside of his cave. The storm was dense enough, and now? Kyurem had one glorious wing to match the other, made entirely of Ice-type energy. After a few test flaps Kyurem nodded, impressed at his own craftsmanship.

With one massive flap from his wings, Kyurem took off unsteadily.

Flying was a novel experience, and one Kyurem had to take some time getting used to. It took some time, but Kyurem was now flying as gracefully as-well Kyurem didn't have any other Pokemon to compare to.

Most other Pokemon in the cave had been land-bound from what he could recall.

Leaving Unova was…a strange experience, Kyurem had thought he would have felt something, anything. He had technically lived here for ages after all. Even with the heavy snow, Kyurem could easily see the land below. The human cities, the Pokemon, and more as he flew.

But besides seeing the sites below, and looking at the land that should have been his home.

Kyurem felt nothing, neither hatred for what he was left to be, nor for being forgotten. Nor any particular love or attachment for any of the living creatures in the land below.

Then it hit him, Kyurem had nobody.

"Well. That sucks." Kyurem sighed. Continuing his flight, while stewing with these newfound thoughts and emotions.

Was this what humans called 'depression'? Why was there a need for any living being to feel or experience this?

Curse those humans and their detestable hormones.

"Stupid humans and their stupid-hmm?" Kyurem was just in the middle of pouting when he 'felt' something enter his storm. Something like him, but smaller, much smaller. He could feel their presence reaching out to him, there was a distinct curiosity behind this telepathic touch.

Which was easier said than done for whoever this pokemon was, Kyurem's snowstorm had made it hard for whoever this was to reach him.

Well, better to be polite. Whatever this presence was, it didn't try to attack Kyurem.

Kyurem lowered the intensity of his snowstorm, pausing in the middle of the air and allowing whoever this Pokemon was, to approach him.

Which left him surprised when the first thing the small flying pink thing said was-

"Holy Arceus! You're alive!?" Muttered the cute nasally voice of a flying pink…Mew? It flew around Kyurem excitedly, touching his body in various places without Kyurem's permission. "Wow! It really is you! I thought you were still in that chasm!"

Chasm? Wasn't it a cave-No wait.

Kyurem had other things to focus on, namely why this Mew seemed so surprised to see him, and how this Mew seemed to know who he was.

All Kyurem had to do was be polite and use the social skills he had to find this out. He would just use the human memories and ask this Mew.

"Yes, I am alive. Should I not be? Who are you?" Kyurem unintentionally growled out. Realizing too late that the human in his memories had all the social skills of a brick wall. Which didn't help his already nonexistent social skills.

Kyurem believed it was like…choosing an option in a Telltale game?

Thankfully the Mew didn't seem to be offended by Kyurem. In fact, it had gotten flustered when Kyurem suddenly spoke, like it hadn't expected him to know how to speak. "Ah! No-I mean. Sorry! It's just that I've been trying to talk to you for the longest time. I'd almost given up until today. I mean after the bid split I got really worried about your three-ah, sorry I'm rambling."

The Mew brought one of its tiny hands to its mouth and did the equivalent of clearing its throat.

"I'm Mew, and well. We are technically old friends, well me and the you before you split into three dragons. Basically I'm one of the Mew's in charge of the Unova region. It's a whole thing." Mew explained, crossing its arms and nodding to itself proudly. "As for why I was surprised, well, it's honestly a miracle you're alive. When you three split up, well…you weren't left with much. I tried my best to engage you. But there wasn't much going on up there."

"Which was a shame, you three were…you were a really good friend of mine since Hisui…"

Mew hung its shoulders when it got to the end of its explanation. Before immediately perking up and doing small excited circles around Kyurem's head. "But enough about that! Look at you! You're alive, and even flying! Everyone else will be so excited once they hear you in the group chat!"

Huh, for some reason Kyurem was happy to see this tiny Mew looking so chipper.

Wait.

"What group chat?" Kyurem asked, tilting his head confused.

Mew froze and just stared at Kyurem for a good long moment. After several seconds of this Mew spoke. "You know? The group chat for legendaries? It came with your legendary bundle. Arceus gave it to you when you were created."

Kyurem shook his head.

"Well I don't have it."

"You have the group chat! It was free with your bundle!" Mew seemed adamant now.

Unfortunately Kyurem was also a hundred percent sure he didn't have whatever this 'group' chat was. "I. Don't. Have. The. Group. Chat!"

This argument went on for several more hours, with many people down below in Unova confused as to why it had suddenly started snowing so hard during summer. Thankfully after some time, the argument ended and Mew promised to add Kyurem to the group chat.

"So not to pry, but why are you up here? We aren't exactly supposed to be seen by humans. Didn't end too well last time, especially here." Mew asked, hovering by Kyurem's face. "Are you planning on moving or something? Ooh! I know a perfect spot under a truck. We can hang out there-"

Kyurem had to zone out Mew while he debated how to approach this topic. Was it normal for a legendary Pokemon to relocate to another region? Would he get in trouble for this?

"I want to leave Unova, and find a home." Kyurem spoke, interrupting Mew's rant about the comforts of living under a vehicle. Kyurem let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, creating a small freezing mist. "Unova was where I was born, but it is not my home. I wish to find such a place, a home. I don't believe I'll find that here, Mew."

Mew went quiet for a moment, staring at Kyurem wide-eyed. Before letting out a series of excited giggling and plopping itself right on top of Kyurem's head.

"In that case let's go, did you have a place in mind?" Mew chuckled while tapping Kyurem's head with its paws. "We should probably get going soon then, humans will probably investigate here soon."

Well that was easy-wait 'we'?

"Don't you have responsibilities to Unova-" Kyurem questioned. Suddenly concerned by the ease at which Mew was hopping on board the band wagon for leaving Unova.

"Meh. It's fine, I'll tell one of the other Mews to keep an eye on Unova instead. I think I earned a break anyways. Besides! I've had nobody to talk to since Reshiram and Zekrom went to sleep. And we're old friends! Now let's go!" Mew shrugged before excitedly slapping its paws on Kyurem's head, urging him to leave. "Wait, where were you going again?"

Huh.

Kyurem hadn't exactly known what to expect from this conversation, but he supposed having Mew around couldn't hurt. "Fine, but not because I need you or anything. As for where I'm going, Kanto? Or possibly Hoenn?"

"Huh, well if you can't decide then keep going until you find something interesting!" Mew exclaimed while pointing off towards a random direction. "Not like time means much to us, being ageless and all that."

Keep going until he found something? Hmm.

"Perhaps." Kyurem said, pondering the fact that he wasn't limited to a lifespan. Plenty of time to find a home and purpose now. It wasn't like that Plasma Chud was going to be following Kyurem around either. Chudsis probably didn't even know Kyurem existed yet. "Regardless, I am leaving Unova."

"Heck yeah! Let's go!" Mew said enthusiastically. Resuming the annoying bongo cat rhythm on Kyurem's head.

Kyurem opted to stay silent and just continue flying. Using his ice type energy to create another snowstorm and fly forwards. He didn't have a set destination other than leaving Unova, he also didn't have extensive knowledge on the current landscape.

Which meant relying on Mew.

Unfortunately Mew had the personality of a child flailing their hands around and saying random numbers. "Left! No wait, maybe right? Uhhhhh…"

Kyurem sighed.

This was going to be a long flight, wasn't it?

---

Flannery Pov

Flannery was having an awful, no good, terrible day. She'd been scolded by her grandfather and dad for trying to pet one of the gym Pokemon.

Which was totally uncalled for!

Her dad even called Flannery a child! Flannery was a respectable and grown six year old! She was old enough to pet whatever Pokemon she wanted to!

"Hmph. Stupid grandpa, stupid dad. Why can't I pet the Macargo's…they are super pettable…" Flannery pouted. Making her way to Mt.Chimney with a pokeball she had 'borrowed' from her grandfather without asking. "Fine, I'll catch my own cool Pokemon."

Taking the Pokeball wasn't hard to do, a bribe to the right Numel here, some scritches to the imported Arcanine there. It was strange how easily she got a Pokeball this time, but she chalked it up to good luck today.

"Hmm hmm hmm~ Gonna catch a cool Pokemon!" Flannery hummed. Trudging her way up to Mt. Chimney. She didn't quite have a preference for what Pokemon she was going to catch.

But given where she lived it was likely going to be a fire type.

Plus it was her grandfather's type specialty, it was expected that Flannery would end up being a Fire Specialist too. It was just that, sometimes she wanted to explore her own path. Find her own specialty.

Yes, Flannery knew that her parents and grandfather hoped she could take over.

But Flannery didn't want to be in their shadow, thinking about that responsibility, about what other people would think if she couldn't live up to that image. It weighed on her heart, and made her feel heavy, it was a cold feeling.

It made Flannery's body shiver physically.

"Wait, that's not me." Flannery realized. Then something cold touched her skin and made her jump. "Wah! Huh!? What is this…white cold thing? Is this…snow?"

Flannery extended a hand, catching a snowflake in her palm. Then another, and another. For the first time in her life, Flannery saw it snow in Lavaridge town. It began to cover everything, as Flannery stared at it all with starry eyes.

"It's, It's snowing! It's really snowing!" Flannery ran around, enjoying the cold weather as she excitedly ran up towards Mt. Chimney. Soon the snow started to pick up, not intensely, but enough to make it harder to see. "Uhg…wait. How am I gonna catch a Pokemon in this weather? No wait, I need to head inside!"

Flannery ran inside Mt. Chimney, realizing that the snow was going to be a problem in more ways than one.

No honest to goodness Fire-type Pokemon would be caught dead in this weather. Which meant that Flannery's plans of catching a starter were gonna go up in smoke. Worst, Flannery was pretty sure the snow would prevent her from going back to Lavaridge.

"Ohnoohnoohno." Flannery mumbled, panicking as the cold started setting in. Her earlier excitement at seeing the snow fading as the growing horror that she was trapped in Mount Chimney until the snow died down.

"No no, just remember what grandpa said." Flanney told herself. Heading deeper to Mount Chimney. The Gym had a facility at the center of the volcano she could hunker down in until the snowstorm passed.

The deeper Flannery walked, the more she noticed how few Pokemon there were. It was like they'd been scared off by something.

It made Flannery worry, what if her grandfather and dad didn't find her? What if she got lost forever?

At this rate she might end up-

"Huh? What's that…?" Then Flanner saw it. It looked like a Pokemon, but it was massive, intimidating and- "So…cool."

She had just made it to the center of the volcano when she saw something she'd never forget for the rest of her life.

A Pokemon.

It flew on massive icy wings, its body was grey and it had those striking yellow eyes. Flannery was sure she'd never seen a Pokemon quite like it before. It was like those stories her dad and grandfather told her about.

How some Pokemon stood out above others.

The Pokemon had landed in the middle of the Volcano, freezing the lava with just a single gesture. Flannery saw it open its mouth and then-

BOOOM

Start blasting a hole into the volcano. This Pokemon was creating a nest, or a home of some sort.

Each blast seemed to be timed with the beat of Flannery's heart. At that moment Flannery knew what Pokemon she wanted to catch. It was like destiny, this was going to be her starter. "I'm going to catch you."

Flannery clutched her Pokeball and started scaling down towards the center of the now inert volcano. Chasing after this mysterious Pokemon.

By the time Flannery reached the Pokemon, it had stopped whatever attack it was doing and simply looked around at the icy cave it made. For a moment Flannery thought she saw another Pokemon on the bigger one's head, but when she blinked it was gone.

"Who are you?" Flannery felt a chill go up her spine when she heard a deep scratchy voice speak inside her head. She tried looking around for the source, but the only living thing here was herself and- "I am speaking to you child."

Said the large Pokemon, taking several slow steps towards Flannery.

The distance let Flannery see just how much the Pokemon dwarfed her. It was easily the size of a building like the Pokemon Center. Which made Flannery realize that maybe following this Pokemon wasn't her best idea.

But she was too deep to stop now, and her grandfather always taught her to face any challenge head on!

"I-I'm Flannery! A future Pokemon Champion!" Flannery spoke up. Standing up tall and walking up to the Pokemon. Thrusting the Pokeball in her hand towards the giant Pokemon and declaring her intent. "And I want YOU to be my starter!"

There was a long silence that happened after that.

It was hard for Flannery to tell what the Pokemon was thinking, those yellow pupiless eyes just seemed to look at her. Gazing right through Flannery.

"Being a Pokemon Champion sucks. Way too much work. Think of a better goal, child." The Pokemon said. Huffing cold air before laying down. For some reason Flannery got the impression that the Pokemon was giving her a bored look. "I mean to begin with. Being champion means protecting the entire region. Doing a ton of paperwork. Plus answering to officials about politics and taxes."

"Huge waste of time. Try being a Frontier Brain or a Gym Leader kid. Way easier."

Huh?

"I-you-wha-" Flannery sputtered, not quite expecting her earlier tension to just shatter like this. She couldn't quite understand what the words meant, but according to this Pokemon. Being Champion…was a lot of work? "But doesn't being champion mean you can do whatever you want?"

"Pfffftthahahahhaha! No. Champions are expected to maintain the image of their region. Essentially, you'd have less freedom then a Gym Leader. You'd never be allowed to leave your region outside of important business." The more Flannery heard about what it meant to be Champion the less she liked it. She couldn't recall the last time the current Champion left the region either.

"Then-then what should I do?" Flannery asked hesitantly. It seemed like this Pokemon knew what it was talking about.

The Pokemon inclined its head in thought for a moment.

"Have you ever heard of the Honored One, Satoru Gojo?" The Pokemon suddenly said a name Flannery had never heard of before. It sounded Kantonian from the spelling though.

"No?" Flanner replied back. Kicking her feet awkwardly while hoping that didn't leave a bad impression on her future starter. "Is…is that a problem?"

The giant Pokemon let out a chuckle at Flannery's response, which made her feel small.

"No no, it's not a problem. Let me tell you about Satoru Gojo, and the art of no-diffing your opps."

Flannery was confused now, the Pokemon was using terms and words she'd never heard before. "Opps? No-diffing? What does it mean? Umm…also does this mean you'll be my starter?"

The Pokemon sighed before standing up, and walking right towards Flannery's Pokeball.

Booping it's head on the device and letting the red light engulf it. Three shakes later and Flannery had her new starter. That immediately bursted out of the Pokeball and continued talking. "I will explain it all in time. For now? We need to work on your ability to dap-up, and aura farm."

"Dap…up? Aura Farm?" Flannery was happy to have her starter. Even if they were confusing, even if she felt lost when it came to those new words she heard it using.

"Right, you'll need to take Auradynamics for that. Anyways, my name is Kyurem…and I require a PC…and internet access. I wish to make memes." The Pokemon said, confusing Flannery even more. But she decided to go with whatever Kyurem said, because it sounded like he knew what he was doing!

That's how Flannery ended up becoming an Ice and Dragon Specialist. Earning her name as the Honored Specialist (self-proclaimed by Kyurem), the Pokemon trainer with the most freedom.

---

A/N: Just an idea some friends on Discord told me to post after writing a bit about it.

 

[Raerae]

I love it

 

[Doctor]

This needs to exist like forever lol, watched.

 

[Signnohan]

That chapter was cracked out brainrot. Lol
I look forward to seeing where you take this fic.

 

[LotusEater]

This is fucking hilarious.

Do you mind if I steal the base idea and run to Orre or the Ranger regions instead?

I don't know if you'll have more chapters, with that ending, but this was really funny.

Thanks for writing.

 

[Tart]

Chapter 2

This chapter was commissioned via Ko-Fi by Argun

Flannery Pov

The snowstorm around Laveridge had subsided with Kyurem's successful habitation of Mt. Chimney. If anyone else were here, there would have been frantic discussions about the ecosystem of Mt. Chimney. About the effects Kyurem would have on this part of Hoenn in the long run and more.

But for young Flannery, her current priority was trying to understand the strange speech of Kyurem.

A task she was finding increasingly difficult to understand.

"-Which concludes my lesson on the dap-up distance. Remember, the no-look technique is pivotal for this to work. At least if you are going to be a proper Ice-Type trainer. These are just the first lessons in my Aurafarming class." Kyurem huffed out mist after saying that. Acting as if he said something profound.

Flannery was still as lost as before, she heard the words and knew what some meant by themselves. But the way her Pokemon put them together stumped her.

"Umm mister Kyurem? I don't know much about Ice-Types though." Flannery said to her new Starter. Somewhat ashamed at her lack of knowledge outside of the fact that Ice was weak to Fire. "My grandfather is a fire-type master though. So I know Ice is weak to-"

"Who decided that? My typing has no effect on fire? Who decided that? His flames can melt my ice? Who decided that!" Kyurem snorted. Standing up on his hind legs and pointed one tiny arm upwards. Generating an orb of Ice above himself. "Throughout heaven and earth, I alone am the type difference!"

Flannery felt like this was supposed to be a reference for something, but she didn't quite know for what. At this point, Flannery felt like she needed to speak up more. So that Kyurem could at least speak in terms and words she understood.

"Mister Kyurem…I don't mean to be rude but umm. You've been speaking a bit like…a weirdo. Could you please speak normally? U-umm, sorry!" Flannery said, apologizing at the end of her request.

She felt bad for asking this, but Flannery didn't think she would be able to understand what Kyurem was saying otherwise.

"Speak. Normally? Haven't I been speaking normally? Isn't this how humans converse?" Kyurem went rigid at that. The globe of Ice above him instantly popped without ceremony.

Flannery felt bad, but her grandfather always told her it was better to be honest than to lie.

"Humans, don't converse like that. It's-you speak like a weirdo, sorry!" Flannery bowed and ended her apology there. She didn't want to offend the Pokemon, but she felt like it was better to build an honest relationship rather than lie. Especially if Kyurem didn't see how weird that manner of speech was. "Also those terms you used are-well they aren't normal either."

At least Flannery hadn't heard anyone in her age group or her grandfather's age group use the terms 'Aurafarm' and 'Dap-up' before.

Kyurem seemed to take some damage from that, flinching back each time Flannery spoke. Something about seeing that made Flannery feel bad, but it also made the large Pokemon more endearing and warm compared to her initial impression of Kyurem.

"I-I see. W-weird speech, I-I'm a weirdo. He-hehhahaha! Weirdo! ME? I-No. Sorry." A small storm of ice and snow blasted around Flannery and Kyurem for a moment before the Pokemon calmed down. "You are correct, I am speaking strangely."

"May I be frank with you Flannery? I wish…to tell you about myself, about my story and existence up until this point. At least a small part of my story."

Tell her about himself?

---

Kyurem pov

"In the region I come from, there is a legend. About a dragon, one whose name is lost to time. Very few living beings even remember the name of that dragon." Kyurem spoke softly. Not using the memories of whatever human soul had sparked sentience. But rather what he could recall from his own fractured memories. "Some don't even believe it was real."

"Nonetheless it existed, it lived. And it also passed." Kyurem avoided saying that what it once was, had died. Flannery was too young to hear about matters such as that, at least for now.

"Split up into three pieces. Truth, Ideals, and the empty vessel of what once was."

But one day maybe Kyurem would speak about it properly.

Of events long since passed and echoes of what once was. A distant story or perhaps a lingering memory of a long dead being.

"Passed?" Flannery asked Kyurem, not understanding what he meant.

Kyurem let out a cold breath, before trying to use his memories to find an answer for Flannery's inquiry.
Its human memories were unreliable, at least the majority of it, and Kyurem did not have any memories to call his own. His opinions had solely been made using the memories occupying his head.

Which had proven to be unreliable for the most part, at least in terms of socializing with humans. This 'Reddit' was a poor place to gather social advice from it seemed.

The Four Chan memories did not help either.

Kyurem was caught making his own opinion for the first time. One based on the memories but not beholden to them or the past.

Though Kyurem did still fancy some of the terms and ideas of those memories.

"Yes, passed. What used to be, can never return. Nor do any of the pieces have any desire to become that being again." Desire, what did Kyurem desire? Getting away from Chudsis and the divorcees was a goal. But it did not stand out as a particular desire, and finding a home would be easy.

So what did Kyurem truly desire? What was his dream?

The answer came quicker than he would have thought. "I do not know what desires or dreams I have. But one day, somehow, some way. I wish to find one for myself."

"A desire…of your own?" Flannery asked, but it came off as more of a question to herself. "A dream of your own?"

At least Kyurem thought it did, even with his limited life experience.

Flannery was on the cusp of finding her own dream, a real one. More than just being a Pokemon Champion, that was a goal. No, Flannery was on the cusp of what very few adults were able to find, a dream she could wholeheartedly follow and believe in.

Not even Kyurem had found that yet. Part of seeing this made Kyurem envious, but he also wanted to see where this would go.

Just a little push then.

"Yes, a dream. What is your dream Flannery? What do you seek after becoming a Champion? What will you do?" Kyurem huffed, stepping closer to Flannery. Pushing those human memories aside for the moment and doing his best to emulate what he once was. "Beyond being even a Gym Leader."

The Origin Dragon.

It was the only other example of a Legendary Pokémon that Kyurem could use.

What with Mew being Mew.

"I resent that!" Complained the Pokemon in question beside Kyurem, invisible to the naked eye. "But it looks like your words are having an effect on her, look!"

"Shush, I'm working here." Kyurem had to agree with Mew though, Flannery looked like she was on the verge of an epiphany.

"Hmph, meanie."

"After becoming a champion I-" Almost, Kyurem could see the gears turning in the child's head. Flannery's brows were scrunched, focused on grasping that small concept Kyurem was nudging her towards. "I can't think of anything."

Kyurem sighed internally, that was to be expected from a child. It was a start though, so things weren't too-

"But-but I know I want to be the best. So I won't just stop at being Champion! Contests-No not just contests, but poetry too!"

Hmm?

Kyurem perked up, looking into Flannery's eyes and seeing something that hadn't quite been there before. It wasn't definite, but this child was taking her first steps into truly finding her own dream.

"But I can't do it alone. That's why I'll need you too. I can't-I don't quite know everything yet, and you don't have a dream either. So let's find one together, Mister Kyurem!" Flannery said earnestly, holding out her fist towards the Ice Dragon.

Was this a Shounen Protagonist moment?

Kyurem couldn't tell but something about the way Flannery had said that made Kyurem 'feel' something. Something outside of what those memories started, if what had given Kyurem life was the spark. Then what Flannery had offered was the match, and it had done something.

The Legendary just wasn't sure what that something was, not yet.

Kyurem despised humans.

Or rather, Kyurem despised chuds like Chudsis and his ilk. Knowing what the man would do to Kyurem in that possible future did little to change that. In fact, Kyurem may have extended these negative feelings to other Pokemon and humans as well.

But looking at Flannery here, seeing how earnest she was.

It made Kyurem understand why the other two chose to separate from Kyurem. At least Kyurem was closer to understanding his other halves a little bit better. Even if Kyurem would never forgive either divorcee for what had happened in the past.

Ambitions and dreams like this were tolerable.

"Hah! Vague, but I like it. Dreams don't need to be deep or complicated. Just knowing you have one is more than enough." Kyurem actually chuckled, lowering himself so that he could use his 'average' sized arm to touch Flannery's. "You truly will be Gojo-pilled-urk sorry. I mean, you truly will be a Champion Rizzler-"

"What's a Rizzler?" Flannery asked, giving Kyurem a weird look.

"I-forget it. To dreams and your future, Flannery." Kyurem wilted internally. Outwardly he maintained his composure though.

To try and preserve some dignity after the outburst from those memories.

Kyurem felt a headache coming along, not from Flannery. But from those unreliable human memories that haunted his headspace. He could suppress the 'weird' terms to some extent.

But that could only be done for so long before those cursed words found their way back on his tongue.vNot even Kyurem was sure what the hell a 'Skibidi Rizzler' was, nor did he have any intention of finding out.

"Of course, now that you are officially my trainer. You'll need a proper Ice-Type starter." Kyurem huffed, changing the subject. "Something that screams aura, the ultimate cool."

"But aren't you my starter?" Flannery asked, confused, and Kyurem was tempted to chuckle for a moment.

"I am, but you'll need a proper starter to grow together with. For that purpose, I am unsuitable. As inexperienced as I am, my power would still become a crutch. Plus I am not unfamiliar with methods of getting stronger. Neither of us would grow if I were to be your starter." Kyurem said. "Fortunately, there are ways to acquire a proper starter. Through connections I have."

Plus there were other issues to consider like Kyurem's recent arrival to the volcano, and how leaving would reset the progress Kyurem made in making the place more homely.

"Like grandpa?" Flannery asked innocently.

Kyurem nodded his head, while internally running through a list of appropriate Pokemon to pick from. He had a few top choices, but they would need to be acquired at a later date, right now Kyurem needed Hoenn native Ice Types.

Fortunately it wouldn't take long to find a willing Pokemon, with Kyurem residing in the now inert Volcano and turning it into an icy mountain.

Plenty of Ice-Types would flock towards this area, but it wouldn't hurt to ask his friend to speed up the recruitment process just a tad bit. Especially since just staying near Kyurem provided most Ice-Types plenty of nourishment from his residual energy.

It's why certain legendary Pokemon were flocked by other Pokemon, their energy drew in Pokemon of similar typings.

"Mew, would it be possible to gather a-"

"Yeah yeah, I know which ones you wanna get. I can feel your thoughts pretty clearly at this range best bud. Give me a sec. I'll teleport and be back before-" Mew said before Kyurem felt their presence vanish.

Teleporting was a handy skill to have, a shame Kyurem wasn't able to use such a technique by himself.

"Mister Kyurem?" Ah right, Flannery.

Now, wow was Kyurem going to keep the child entertained?

He needed to keep Flannery here for a few moments longer while Mew headhunted the initial trio of starters Kyurem had in mind for Flannery. Any of the ones she didn't choose would still make excellent minions in helping Kyurem set up his shitpost-ahem, Computer setup.

Kyurem would also need to get devices to extend his reach, his arms were, as always, inadequate for the task of computing.

"Ahem, right. I haven't told you the story of the Hanma's have I, Flannery?" Kyurem awkwardly attempted to cough into his palm. Diverting the topic to one of the stories from the human memories in his head.

"The Hanma's?" Flannery asked, confused. "Are they another Kantonoin family? Like Gojo and Sukuna?"

"Now now, patience. Listen here and let me explain exactly how the Hanma's weaponized their mental prowess to be the strongest. You see it all started when-"

Fortunately Kyurem's stories kept Flannery engaged, even if the contents of the human memories were questionable. He would also need to sort out what Pokemon knowledge could be applicable to the world he lived in.

---

Moore Pov

Moore was having a terrible-no a horrible no good day.

"This is absolutely unacceptable." Moore sighed for what felt like the hundredth time today. The Gym Trainers had already been dismissed and sent out once the snow storm had cleared. "Why today of all days?"

That's right, a snow storm. In Hoenn.

The how and why escaped Moore. He had seen his fair share of weather shenanigans in the war, but this? According to the facts, this was a rare once in a lifetime natural event.

No signs of this being a rare type of ability or a Pokemon smuggling operation gone bad.

But the effects had been just as hazardous.

If the first ever Hoenn blizzard wasn't bad enough. There was also the issue of his granddaughter getting caught up in the storm and the Gym Trainers losing track of her. Her tantrum had been a subtle way of guiding her to catch her 'starter', a strategically placed Gym Pokemon.

The same applied to the Pokeball that Flannery had 'stolen'.

All of it was the same right of passage Moore's family had undergone. He did something similar, to show his parents he had the spark to be a Trainer no matter what others said.

It was perfectly safe too, nothing was supposed to happen!

Now? Now Moore's granddaughter was somewhere out there lost. On top of that, Moore's staff was already stretched thin searching for Trainers and travelers that had been unfortunate enough to get caught out in the storm.

But the last few hours had been the second most stressful time of Moore's life, especially with the worry he had over his granddaughter.

Moore's hands were tied though.

As much as Moore had wanted to rush out and go look for his granddaughter, his responsibilities as a Gym Leader tied his hands. He needed to coordinate search and rescue for more than just Flannery, at least until the Rangers could arrive.

The snowstorm had been an ecological nightmare for Lavaridge.

There were over a hundred calls and emergencies coming in by the minute.
Even if it hadn't been during the League circuit, there were plenty of Trainers who had been around Mt. Chimney in order to catch the various Fire-Type Pokemon that lived there. Which was another headache Moore had to deal with.

Whatever had caused the storm had made Mt. Chimney's volcano go inert.

The ecological ramifications on top of everything else piling so suddenly had caused more stress to Moore than the war had in the years he had fought in it. In fact, Moore hadn't felt this level of stress since he and his starter had been on the frontlines holding Hoenn's shores.

An unprecedented natural disaster that was urgently being studied.

It wasn't just the level of the storm that was strange, it was the immediate effect the weather had on Mt. Chimney and Lavaridge. The storm had only lasted a few hours, before it died down. But none of the snow had melted whatsoever.

In fact, it looked like the storm had permanently altered the landscape of Lavaridge and Mt. Chimney.

There would need to be a mass relocation of some of the various Fire-Types, either to the Lavaridge Gym, or areas where they could be temporarily housed.

Among other measures.

At least the storm had become more peacful some time ago, which meant that the Rangers would be able to arrive quickly. Giving Moore the perfect chance to go out and personally look for his granddaughter.

"Flannery, where are you?" Moore sighed loudly. Already regretting the events that led up to today. "I don't know what I'd do if something happened."

How was he supposed to predict any of this was going to-

"Grandpa? What's wrong?" Flannery asked from right beside Moore. Poking him in the side while he was fretting over her and the current series of events. "This isn't very…'pog'? Yeah I think that's right. Grandpa, this isn't very Pog behavior."

Moore sighed, patting Flannery's head sadly. "Now isn't the best time sweety. I'm worried about where you might have ended up out there in Mt. Chimney."

Wait, Flannery?

Moore blinked slowly and looked towards Flannery who was supposed to be lost right now. The same Flannery who was standing right here in front of Moore looking up at him innocently.

"Grandpa?"

"Flannery!" Moore screamed. Bear hugging his granddaughter with tears in his eyes. "You're saaaaafeeee!"

"Guh-H-hey Grandpa! Cut it out! St-stop too much! You're hugging too much!" Flannery screamed in Moore's arms, but he couldn't care less knowing that she was safe. "Wait-hey! Listen! Grandpa, I have something I wanna tell you! Something important!"

Something she wanted to tell him?

Moore stopped squeezing Flannery to give her room to talk.

"I found a starter! Uh I caught a-waaaaah!" Flannery said excitedly. The news prompted Moore to start swinging her around in the air. He was ecstatic to hear that despite the storm Flannery had managed to catch herself a proper Fire-Type Pokemon.

"That's amazing Flannery! You managed to catch yourself a proper Fire-Type, just like your old man!" Moore cheered, throwing Flannery up in the air and catching her excitedly.

His back was going to hate him for this later, but Moore could bear with it for his granddaughter.

"Wah! We-well it wasn't a Fire-Type grandpa." Flannery said when Moore had caught her after throwing her up in the air

Eh? Not a Fire-Type?

"Oh? Then what kind of Pokemon did you catch?" While Moore was somewhat disappointed about Flannery not catching their families type specialty, he wouldn't let that dim his excitement. "A Normal-Type then? Or perhaps a…Water-Type?"

Okay maybe Moore would have felt his excitement dim just a tad bit if Flannery had caught a Water-Type Pokemon.

But that was because he wouldn't have been able to help much with Flannery's development if she had picked a Water-Type. Moore wanted to be there every step of the way for Flannery for as long as he had left to live. Not that Moore had any plans on dying, but he wanted to make the time he had left matter for his family.

Even if it did mean he would get into the occasional disagreement with Flannery or her parents. Not that he would admit any of this out loud either.

"Nope nope nope, wrong~!" Flannery denied Moore's guesses. "Cmon Grandpa! Guess again! The type I chose is the coolest!"

The coolest?

"Hmm a Rock-Type then?" Moore hesitantly asked. Unsure exactly what his granddaughter meant by the coolest. Surely it wasn't on the nose, was it? "Flannery surely you don't mean you caught an Ice-"

All of a sudden Moore felt a pricking and cold sensation coming from his rear. Causing his body to lock up and shiver, as he physically jumped and made a weird noise. "Gyah! Sweet Arcanine on a plateau!" Moore screamed, turning around and coming face to face with a- "Is that a-Wait, how on earth did you even-gyah!? Again!? No wait stoaaah!"

The cause of that sudden chilling sensation was his granddaughter's chosen starter.

"Snou snou snourunt!" Laughed the little felon, a mischievous Snorunt. There was still some mist coming from the Pokemon's mouth, Powder Snow.

"Flannery, where on Earth did you catch this little guy-woaaahhhhokay girl? Girl, okay you're a girl." Moore nearly took a full on Powder Snow that time when the little Snourunt took offence to being misgendered. "Where on Earth did you catch this little girl?"

Even with the snow storm that had hit Lavaridge, Ice-Types shouldn't have been found here. The storm was too sudden for this to be some mass migration of Ice-Types too.

"Ummm, found it?" Flannery shrugged, and Moore had a sneaking suspicion there was more being left out of this by his granddaughter. "Anyways, this is Yuki! From now on she's my partner. And together we'll be the strongest!"

A Kantonian nickname? That was strange, not unusual, but still strange out here in Hoenn.

"After that I'll find a dream of my own Grandpa! Not just being a Champion, but a whole lot more!" Flannery continued.

A respectable goal, and his granddaughter was even taking her first steps to finding a real dream for herself. Like how Moore did when he was younger, even that brat Wallace had his passion as a Coordinator.

But that and the Snourunt were two different things!

"No-wait, Flannery sweetie. Just where did this Snourunt come from, they aren't supposed to-um. Well they aren't easy to find here." Moore felt like he was having an internal meltdown trying to process what he was seeing.

"Snou? Runt runt." Said the Snourunt in question, giving Moore a sassy sigh and patting his leg.

Moore had a feeling he and this Pokemon weren't going to be getting along. Much like actual Fire-Types and Ice-Types didn't tend to mesh well.

No, this wasn't Type-Specialist bias.

"Snousnousnousnou~" The little Pokemon was just being that much of a brat. It was giving Moore a smug laugh with the back of one of its small palms to its mouth.

"Why you little-. Well whatever, Flannery it's nice to see you safe and sound. I'll try and ask a friend for advice on Ice-Types too." Moore decided to let it go for now. The important thing was that Flannery was safe and sound. "I'm sure it'll be rough, but with the right teacher you can be-"

"Oh, I already have a teacher, Grandpa." Flannery interrupted.

"EH?"

"Yeah he's the best I could ask for, a little weird. One day you'll meet Mister Kyu-uh…Mister K!" Flannery practically jumped up and down while saying that. "He said something about making the moment more meaningful and aurafilled too. We gotta lookmax our best and metagame…whatever that means."

Moore looked at his granddaughter as if she had grown two heads. "What?"

"Oh and grandpa, what the heck is a Baxwhatcumacallit? Mister K said they were an Ice Dragon, but I'm not sure they exist. He said he'd get one for me though!"

An Ice-Dragon Type!? Where in the world was Flannery pulling this information from?

Moore had a whole load of questions he wanted to ask Flannery right now, but then he remembered there was still a whole mess of problems from the snow storm. He would need to put this conversation on hold, but not before getting Flannery to promise him one thing.

"Flannery I-well we will talk about this all later. Grandpa is going out to deal with Gym business. But, when I come back I want to meet this 'Mister K', okay sweetie?"

Flannery gave a contemplative look before nodding her head. "Well I don't know~, but I guess it couldn't hurt, so okay! Ah, also Mister K needs a PC, okay grandpa? Part of the deal, he says he needs to make memes about some guy named Lance being a Flying Master."

"Why would Lance be a Flying Master? He's clearly a-" Moore gave Flannery a confused look before she spoke up before he could finish.

"Well cause he only trains Flying-Types right?"

"-Dragon Mas-pfft!" Moore barely kept himself from making a funny face. "I-pff-have to go, d-dear. Your parents should be home tonight as well, Flannery."
"Okay~! Be safe out there Grandpa! And dress warm!"

Moore quickly took off after that to help manage the chaos outside and definitely not because what Flannery said made him pause and nearly bust a gut from laughter. But also internally making a note to notify the Pokemon League about this 'Mister K' that Flannery mentioned.

Whoever they were was suspect, especially with the sudden snowstorm that had happened today, and Flannery just 'happening' to meet them now of all times.

Of course this would be done while Moore was out working.

---

Third Pov

After that Moore would spend the next week managing the chaos before it died down. By that time however, there would be an unnatural spike of Ice-Types in Lavaridge. Among other absurd events such as Flannery suddenly having more Pokemon than just a Snourunt around.

With the addition of weird phrases Flannery would use in her daily life to 'understand Mister K' more.

 

[Ghostcraft19]

This was great

 

[LotusEater]

Brain rot has arrived in the pokemon world...
We are all doomed. Doomed, I say.

Kyurem should post the og memes, with the intention of slowly corrupting all the Youth and Rotom and Porygon that rely on the internet for anything.

Funny chapter. Hope to see more.