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How Taylor Hebert Agreed to Be a Slut [Worm/Slut Life]

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Ack, May 24, 2018.

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  1. Nightmare723764

    Nightmare723764 I HAVE BECOME THE HORNI HORSE!

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    Who doesn't enjoy a little schadenfreude from time to time? :p
     
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  2. Ack

    Ack (Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)

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    But it's funny schadenfreude.

    Also, the early canon Taylor you're thinking of isn't the one with this particular shard tickling her brain :p
     
  3. edale

    edale Versed in the lewd.

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    Well... With you're not wanting to check the source material for stuff, this doesn't surprise me. :p:D
     
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  4. Chojomeka

    Chojomeka Sexy and I know it

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    I truly amazed, just two chapters and were already at page ten. Good job Ack :p
     
  5. Ack

    Ack (Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)

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    That's nothing. You should read the comments in SB for Hostage Situation. Ten pages for each of the first two chapters. I was quite proud :p
     
  6. edale

    edale Versed in the lewd.

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    Yes, but one of the reasons I read most of my fics on QQ rather than SB or SV is because the threads don't usually end up bogged down with too many comments on here.:D
     
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  7. Jackercracks

    Jackercracks At Two With Nature

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    There's lots of variation to be found there, and that variation is a smaller subset of the total possible stories in L-space. In particular, a lot of the time you're kind of restricted to using the same small subset of characters. Now that's not the same as saying they're all the same.
     
  8. Ack

    Ack (Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)

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    Ah, yes, the same small subset of characters.

    Main or viewpoint characters for my fics:
    Danny
    Taylor
    Hookwolf
    Bitch
    Dinah
    Purity
    Tattletale
    Janet (OC)
    Kaiser
    Theo
    Annette Campbell (OC)
    Sophia
    Marquis
    Amy (AU version)
    Blasto
    Jonas (OC)
    Fortuna
    Chantelle (AU Dr Mother)
    Aegis
    Clockblocker
    Alternate!Taylor
    Amy (Earth Bet)
    Director Piggot
    Zach (OC Friendbringer)
    Jack Slash
    Crawler
    Coil
    Gallant
    Velocity
    Me (as SI)
    Lee Adamson (OC)
    Russian Roulette (OC)
    Uber
    L33t
    Robert Curry (OC)
    Mirror!Taylor
    Mirror!Everyone Else
    Mirror!Greg Veder
    Surge (OC)
    Flux (OC)
    Vicky
    Emma
    Madison
    Sophia's handler
    Young Danny
    Young Anne-Rose
    Andrea Campbell
    Young Piggot
    Pre-Coil Calvert
    Early Eidolon
    Early Contessa
    Kinsey (OC)
    Anne-Rose
    Peter Ferguson (OC)
    Armsmaster
    Morrigan (OC)
    G-Man (OC)
    Crew of Bond James Bond (OCs)
    Legend

    So basically, a large chunk of the named and described characters from Worm.

    If I only write fanfics from Worm, then you can't really critique me for using only characters from Worm canon. Just saying.
     
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2018
  9. january1may

    january1may Versed in the lewd.

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    I suspect that, depending on how you count the phase space of stories, it's very possible (and even, I dare say, very likely) that an overwhelming fraction of it is dominated by works we could not ever hope to understand - whether because their meaning is fundamentally beyond our perceptions, or because there was never any meaning in them in the first place (to the extent that those two categories can even be distinguished).

    With that in mind, "Worm fanfics" is a fairly small subset of it, but Ack's work is probably highly varied within that subset (or, at least, if we limit it to "Worm fanfics set in North America on Earth Bet between 1980 and 2014"... especially so if we add "non-crossover", even if that would exclude some of his best works).
     
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  10. Jackercracks

    Jackercracks At Two With Nature

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    I mean, that is essentially what I'm doing. It'd send me round the bend, to be quite honest. Ah, but so it goes.
     
  11. Ack

    Ack (Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)

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    I've got plots that I've brought to fruition, plots that I'm still running through, plots that I've only just started and plots that I have yet to post. All based around Worm, and the characters therein.

    I like taking the setting and saying "Well, what if ... ?"

    And there are so very many what-ifs I can play with.
     
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  12. edale

    edale Versed in the lewd.

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    *Glances at all the OC's on that list*

    Erm....:p:D
     
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  13. Ack

    Ack (Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)

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    You know what I meant :p
     
  14. edale

    edale Versed in the lewd.

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    Ah, but what you meant and what you said are two different things, Mr 17 OCs. :p
     
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  15. Ack

    Ack (Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)

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    Can I help it if Nemesis (and, to a lesser extent, Junior Hero) are mainly OC-driven?
     
  16. Threadmarks: Part Three: Preparations
    Ack

    Ack (Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)

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    How Taylor Hebert Agreed to be a Slut

    Part Three: Preparations

    [A/N: The latter part of this has been scrapped and rewritten on the suggestions of my readers and my beta. The order between this and the other chapter written at this time have also been reversed. If you're going to read Part Two Point Five in the NSFW section, go there before you read this.]

    “Okay, that should sort out the last of the problems,” Tori announced. “See what you think.” Lounging back in the steaming bath—naked, of course—she passed the laptop over to me. The bath was large enough for two people to share, or four if they didn't mind being very intimate. Mom and I were currently sharing it with Tori, who apparently had no problems with being very intimate indeed. But it felt heavenly, and the scents drifting off the water with the steam just made it more enjoyable. I just wished we had some bubble bath in there, because the water was crystal clear, allowing me to see every inch of Mom's and Tori's bodies, and them to see mine. Stupid skinny ass. Stupid flat chest.

    To distract myself, I took the laptop. Unlike any model I'd seen on Earth, it was apparently rated against any damage up to and including re-entry from orbit. And hey, it was waterproof. Tori whispered something to Mom, who giggled. Giggled. I'd been trying not to notice it, but the catgirl was flirting with my Mom, who was flirting right back. I mean, I knew she'd been a radical feminist back before she met Dad, but I hadn't known she liked other women as well. I didn't know whether the place was corrupting her, or if she was just letting long-forgotten urges out to play, but it was probably a good idea to get her home just as fast as possible.

    Looking over the contract one last time, I carefully checked each aspect that Tori had been through. I trusted her well enough, but I wanted to know what I'd missed that she'd picked. Just in case I wanted to come back for a second pass. Not that I thought I would, but the idea of immortality was nagging at me. Plus a few more of the rewards. If I got back to Brockton Bay and decided that I needed a booster for my abilities, I knew where I was going to find them.

    Looking up from the screen, I caught Tori stealing a kiss from Mom. Worse, Mom didn't seem to mind. Hastily, I cleared my throat. “Uh, Mom? Want to look this over before I send it away?”

    Mom looked over at me and smiled. “Certainly, Taylor. I'll be with you in a moment.” Then she quite deliberately turned to Tori and kissed her. The kiss was long and deliberate, and I was quite certain more was going on under the water than I was really comfortable with knowing. Blushing to my hairline, I ducked my face down behind the laptop and pretended to read through the contract again.

    A few moments later, Mom slid into place beside me. Her colour was high, and she seemed rather pleased with herself. Despite the warmth of the water, I couldn't help but notice that her nipples were very firmly erect. “Let me see, Taylor,” she said, taking the laptop from me and scrolling through the contract. “Hmm, seems all above board. Are you sure you can handle all those part-time jobs?”

    “It was Tori's idea,” I said. “Half the hours for each one, and none of them will require me to have sex with anyone. Even better, most of them will allow me to keep some level of chastity belt on.”

    “I see,” said Mom. She knew why I was being careful about the sex aspect. While I hadn't taken the hyperfertile vagina option, I had opted to be banned from using contraception. Just in case I did end up having sex, I'd gone with Flexible Holes just to make it less traumatic (though with Tight Fit and Fresh Cherry, every time was gonna be like my first). I just hoped I could dodge it for a week.

    “So does it look okay?” I asked anxiously.

    “I'm just a little dubious about the Magical Girl sidekick aspect,” Mom said seriously. “If they fight actual villains, and those villains are likely to try to force sex on them—because with this place, I would not be at all surprised—you might find yourself involuntarily included in the deal.”

    I took a deep breath. “I'll have my bugs, and I'll have martial arts,” I said. “And if it does happen, at least they're not allowed to rape me. There's got to be some kind of seduction and preparation involved. So it could be a whole lot worse.”

    “Oh, with Magical Girls, they sometimes fight tentacle monsters,” Tori said helpfully, climbing into Mom's lap. Her full, round breasts bounced to and fro, just at my eye level. I wasn't really attracted to girls that I knew of—well, that time Emma and I practised kissing each other just to find out what it was like probably didn't count—but they looked so goddamn firm and shiny and sexy that I was seriously tempted to take her nipple into my mouth. You know, just to see what she'd do. “So if they screw up, they end up with a cock in every orifice they've got. But tentacle monsters secrete an aphrodisiac along with the lube, so while you know you're being fucked in every hole by something that's not even remotely human, you just don't fucking care, you know?” She leaned in to kiss Mom again. I watched my mother respond, sliding her arms around Tori's waist and pulling her closer.

    Nervously, I cleared my throat. “Uh, Mom? I don't want to be a party pooper, but you did say you didn't intend to have sex while you were here, and that looks awfully like you're gonna be having sex. Just saying.” Which was right up there on the list of 'sentences I never wanted to have to say to a parent'.

    Reluctantly, Mom broke the kiss and looked over at me. “Taylor, honey, I said I wouldn't be climbing into bed with any men. I said nothing about women. Your father will understand.”

    “And besides,” Tori added helpfully, “your mom and me have been banging for the last few days. She dragged me into bed when she first woke up, after I explained things to her.”

    “To be fair, they were still getting my hormone balance just right, and I was horny as hell,” Mom said with a chuckle. “But it was so much fun that I decided to move in with her until you showed up.” She caught my shocked stare and frowned. “What? It's nothing. Once we're back home, Tori will go back to having sex with whomever she wants to, on the show. And I'll be back with your father. He knows I was sleeping with women with I first met him in college.”

    “Okay, fine, I get the picture,” I said, realising I didn't know my Mom at all. “I'll just get out of your way, then.” Ignoring the fact that I was naked and there wasn't a towel within reach, I closed the laptop and began to climb out of the tub.

    “Hey, no need to go.” Tori's hand slid up my thigh and cupped my butt cheek. “Stay, and we can make it a threesome. You know how badly I want to hold you down and make you cum. Hell, we can bring Raffie in for a foursome. You know, my futa girlfriend?”

    The touch of her hand, sliding sensuously over my wet skin, sent shivers directly to places I didn't want to acknowledge right then. “What? No!” I snapped, slapping her hand away. “Because that'll mean either I'll be getting fucked by your futa girlfriend, Mom will be cheating on Dad with your futa girlfriend, or Mom and I'll be … no. Just no.” I climbed all the way out of the tub and backed away. “Look, I get it that sex is fun, but I've never done it before and I kinda want a choice in the matter, if and when I ever do it.”

    “Leave her be,” Mom advised Tori. “I like you, and I think you're fun in bed, but I won't be a party to forcing Taylor to do anything she hasn't agreed to.” She climbed out of the bath and grabbed two of the oversized towels. “Here you go, honey.” Draping one towel over my shoulders, she started drying herself with the other. “Let's go look over that contract while I'm not distracted.”

    “Thanks, Mom,” I said. My gratitude was genuine, for several reasons. It disturbed me to watch her making out with a girl only a few years older than me (Tori was older than she looked, but not that much older) especially since she was only just back from the dead, from my point of view anyway. Also, I really did value her input, and her ability to spot anything I'd missed. I headed over to the padded benches, put the laptop down carefully, then dried myself off.

    My time at Winslow should've inured me to being naked in a room with girls who were far sexier than me, but the bullying had left scars that might never heal. So once I'd gotten the water off of myself and towelled my hair roughly dry, I wrapped the towel around myself in a semblance of modesty before sitting down on the bench. Mom, after drying herself, put the towel around her hair and sat down next to me with not a stitch on. With a sinking feeling, I watched Tori come over from the bath. She sat next to me, not even bothering to dry herself. It meant she wasn't sitting next to Mom (and potentially making out with her again) but it meant she was next to me.

    I liked Tori well enough. She hadn't pulled any bullshit with me that I knew about, and she'd gone to bat for me about Mom with her boss. But the bottom line was, she was a Slut Life employee. More to the point, she was a past contestant who intended to sign up again. Sex, for her, was simply a means to an end. She'd already spent years being publicly fucked in every orifice I cared to name by more men (and women, and God knew what else) than I could ever imagine. In her mind, signing up for Slut Life and opening my legs (and mouth, and butt) for whoever wanted to shove their cock (or whatever) into me was only normal and natural. Which meant that she really couldn't seem to understand that I wasn't interested in having sex with her. To her, that meant I wasn't interested right then, but that wouldn't necessarily be the case in five minutes. Which made the occasional impulse to just give in and let her have her way even more frightening. Sure, it would make my time at Slut Life a lot more fun and interesting … but would I still be me if I surrendered my agency so easily? Emma and her cohorts hadn't broken me over a year of tormenting me; what would it say about me if I let a girl with cat ears change me into a slut (incidentally, proving some of the insults slung at me by Emma's coterie) in just a few days?

    “Well, it looks fine to me,” Mom allowed after a few moments of perusing the contract. “From what you've told us, Tori, there's no real way they can pull a sneaky loophole to force Taylor to have sex, is there?”

    “Not as far as I can see,” Tori agreed, leaning her chin on my shoulder. She wasn't trying to cop a feel, so I was okay with that. I really did need friends in my life. “So, you want to sign it and send it away?”

    I felt a yawning pit open in my stomach. This was it. This was do or die. I couldn't not sign the contract, no matter how long I delayed it, and once it was done, there was no going back. If I'd screwed up in any way, I was going to find out the hard way. Moistening my lips with my tongue, I swallowed nervously. “I guess, yeah.”

    “Okay then,” Tori said briskly, straightening up. “Pass me over the laptop.” I realised that she'd actually been pressing her naked water-slick breast against my arm and I hadn't even noticed. Was that a good sign or a bad sign? And why did I keep noticing how fucking sexy her body was? I'm not into girls, I'm not into girls, I'm not into girls.

    “Here you go.” Mom passed the laptop over, and I watched as Tori scrolled the contract down to the bottom.

    She tapped a couple of icons, and a tiny symbol of a padlock appeared on the corner of the sheet. Then she tapped another one, and a red square showed up. “Okay,” she said to me, her voice unusually serious. “Press your thumb to that square—doesn't matter which thumb—and that'll register as your signature. This will register your contract with Slut Life. Once it goes through, they'll come to pick you up to be prepped for the role you'll be playing. All the surgery and implants will be done in a week. Next week, you and your mom can move into your house, and your run will start.”

    I drew a deep breath. “Okay, then.” I held up my thumb as if I were attempting to flag a ride, then brought it in close to the contract. With a convulsive movement, I jabbed it the last half-inch or so, feeling the tiny resistance as I contacted the hard-light document. As I did so, the red square flashed to green. There was a momentary delay, then a notification flashed up on the screen: CONTRACT ACCEPTED.

    "Oh, good," I said, letting out the breath I hadn't realised I was holding in. "So when will they come get me?"

    "One to three hours, usually," Tori said. "It depends on what's being done. You're going with a total body makeover, so it'll probably be closer to three than one." She looked me up and down frankly, and I blushed to my hairline. "Though seriously, your body's sexy as fuck as it is."

    "Tori." Mom's voice was firm. I looked over at her in confusion. "I need you to do me a huge favour."

    "Um, sure?" Tori didn't sound at all sure of what was going on. "What is it?"

    Mom took a deep breath, then pushed the laptop out of the way and took my hands in hers. "Taylor, we've got to talk."

    Those four words never presaged anything good. "What? Mom, you're scaring me." My mind immediately jumped to worst-case scenarios. Is she dying? I don't want to lose her again!

    She grimaced and shook her head. "It's not bad, it's just ... not good." She looked over at Tori. "What I said earlier about my hormones ... I wasn't telling you the whole truth. When they revived me, someone transposed a decimal point or something, and I came back with a raging case of ... well, horniness. I've been screwing Tori on an hourly basis ever since I was able to move on my own. Up till now, she's been able to keep my urges in check. But ..." Taking her hand away from mine, she clenched her fist, her nails biting into her palm.

    "It's getting worse," Tori said soberly. "She's wanting to go out and screw, well, anyone. She hasn't yet," she added hastily, probably in response to my horrified expression. "But ... it's getting close. So she's going to let SL put her under until her final treatment can be carried out, in three days' time."

    "Which means that I won't be there when you come out of surgery," Mom said. "Tori, I want you to be there for her." She gave the catgirl a warning glance. "And by that I don't mean 'seduce her while she's still drunk with her new body'."

    "Aww, I wouldn't do that," Tori said with a grin. "More than twice, anyway." She leaned in toward me and lowered her voice to a stage whisper. "Sex in a brand new body is the best."


    I was so shaken by Mom's revelation that I totally forgot to blush. "I, uh, I'll take your word for it." Then I turned my full attention to my mother. "Mom, how long are they going to be keeping you under? How much work needs to be done?"

    "Relax." Mom's smile was a little ragged, but it was genuine. "It's just a hormone treatment. Nanobots, apparently. I'll be up and around by the time you start your run. I have to be; it's in your contract."

    "Okay." I didn't feel great about this, but if it was the best thing for Mom, then it had to be done. Besides, I was doing all this to get her home to Dad. I guessed that ignoring the fact that she'd been having sex with Tori was the best idea. Besides, that wasn't something I wanted to dwell on. Like, ever. "So when do you need to go under?"

    "Today." To my surprise, Mom bit her nail. She'd never bitten her nails. "As soon as possible. Right now. Please."

    I nodded. "Okay. Let's go get this done."

    <><>​

    Tori and I stood on either side of Mom's hospital bed, each of us holding one of her hands. "Still don't see why we can't just put you into cryo," Tori muttered. "It's a lot easier."

    "Because even I know that going into suspended animation would suspend the hormone treatment," Mom told her. Her voice was weak; the line leading into her wrist was obviously feeding something into her bloodstream that was slowly but surely putting her out. The docbot had said something about 'establishing a baseline', which was why she wasn't instantly unconscious.

    "Oh, right." Tori facepalmed. "Wow, I feel like a total idiot now."

    Mom giggled faintly. "Just remember ... be there for Taylor."

    Tori leaned over and kissed her on the lips. "I promise."

    "Good." It was a bare whisper, as her eyes drifted shut. "Or 'll kick y'r ass ..."

    I felt her hand relax in mine. I squeezed it one last time and placed it on the covers. Leaning over, I kissed Mom on the forehead. When I straightened up, Tori was looking at me soberly. "She's pretty special," she said softly.

    "Well, yeah," I said. "She's my Mom."

    "That she is," Tori agreed. "Well, now it's time for your appointment."

    I swallowed. This wasn't something I'd been looking forward to. "So where do I go for that?"

    She pointed out the door. "Next door, in Medical Bay Four. Let's go, before they come get you. I understand they're not gentle with people they think might be trying to wriggle out of their contracts."

    "Right," I said, trying to sound determined. "Um ..."

    "What?" she asked, looking over at me. "Because it's kinda late for last-minute second thoughts."

    "What Mom said about you trying to seduce me when I wake up ... you won't really try that on me, will you?" I wasn't sure what I wanted her answer to be. On the one hand, I was about as sexually insecure as anyone could be, having exactly zero experience in anything of the sort. On the other, I had been noticing Tori's body, and I liked her, and I knew she liked me. I have no idea what to do in this situation.

    She must've read my thoughts in my eyes. Leaning forward, she stole a kiss, surprising the hell out of me. "Mm," she said, licking her lips. "Nice."

    "You kissed me!" I blurted, not sure whether to be happy, amused or angry. It hadn't been unpleasant. In fact, it had been rather nice, if kind of quick. And unexpected. Really unexpected.

    "Yup." She seemed very pleased with herself. "Was it good for you?"

    Two could play at that game. I stuck out my tongue at her. "I'll tell you when I get out of surgery." Turning, I marched from the room.

    With a grin, she followed.



    End of Part Three

    Part Four [NSFW]
     
    Last edited: Jun 17, 2018
  17. Nugar

    Nugar Not too sore, are you?

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    I don't like it. Too rapey, there's none of the fun that attracted me to Slut Life in the first place. Being Taylor is suffering. Again. I don't always mind that, I've even read your rapeier fics and never had any complaint. But I don't like this.
     
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  18. WindCall12

    WindCall12 Well worn.

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    Not sure about this. Too rapey for me, but will see where it goes. Though if Annette and Taylor had signed up with those terms I wouldn't mind, but consent is important.
     
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2018
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  19. Ack

    Ack (Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)

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    The trouble with writing a Slut Life story (any story, really) is that you either have drama or you don't.

    If you have drama in a story where the plotline revolves around sex, then it's hard not to involve someone, somewhere, agreeing to have sex where they normally wouldn't.

    In this particular instance, I could've written it in that Mr Arbor just allowed them to walk away once it was resolved. But that's not Slut Life. Slut Life involves talking people into having sex, and having body mods done. It also involves a secret society that controls most of the known universe, and sex slavery. So ethical, it ain't.

    Note that I haven't had it happen yet, and there's room for it not to happen yet. But I would welcome suggestions from people on ways to make it less 'rapey', as you put it, while not actually diverging too far from what makes Slut Life its lovable sleazy self.

    And also without diverging Taylor and Anne-Rose too far from their (so far) relatively close to canon characterisations.
     
  20. Guardian54

    Guardian54 Versed in the lewd.

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    Oh god, some the things I HATE most with respect to protagonists with emotional baggage. It's completely reasonable. It's good writing. But I just hate the wangst (whiny angst) that comes with this protagonist type.

    1. I have a vertical scar on my forehead from slipping in a puddle and sliding into a wall corner. It was obvious all through elementary school but is now so faded no one notices and even I have to remind myself it's there to actually remember it.
    Taylor, if you keep on poking it you're more likely to end up with a keloid scar, i.e. one that you can't get over without surgery. Stop self-flagellating and keep rolling with life and eventually it'll go away. It's not like you have a Sharingan or something (which, by remembering all the most negative memories clearly, is an automatic ticket to depression and psychosis, the Curse of Hatred is natural human psychology for a clan who can't forget their worst experiences, not a curse at all!)

    2. No, Taylor, because you decided to accept doing fun activity X with someone else, you are no longer as depressed as you were before, and thus are no longer "Taylor Hebert, Woobie". *eye-roll*
    THEREFORE, you are hereby banned from any fun activity ever... aha, that'll get you to do fun stuff! Oh wait, I just told you it's reverse psychology, so you'll keep mentally self-flagellating and never have fun because I told you that! Enjoy the logic trap!
    I don't remember teens in my time being this obsessed with identity over "if everyone agrees and there are no notable negative consequences...", and we were the same age cohort as Taylor! Must be a media portrayal thing (for example, 12-year-olds will always be played by 8-year-old actors to seem child-like. Real life 12-year-olds are like 10cm shorter than adults and often have boobs already. I had a female friend who at 13 years was over 6 feet with a quite sizable bust, she could pass for an adult woman easily enough.)

    ...So, finished reading the update. I'm very happy that Taylor's attempt at gaming the system got the mods to crack down on her. Give her a lesson of "If you can't play the game intended for you, you don't get the prizes".

    However, I agree with everyone else. This is far too rapey. Mr. Arbor should not be THIS STUPID. He knows that his life expectancy once Taylor joins the secret society (she'd take the SL CYOA as many times as she had to to get that one purely out of spite) would be very short if he raped her mother like this.
     
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2018
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  21. Silvercrystal

    Silvercrystal That’s no moon! It’s a Moderator! Moderator

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    Someone would have fucking died. That shit is not ok.

    Edit. Ok much better on the second take. And it also made a hell of a lot more sense.
     
    Last edited: Jun 14, 2018
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  22. FlyingWaffle

    FlyingWaffle [Verified Pastry]

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    Let me preface this post by saying that what I am writing here is sincere criticism and I am not trying to attack or offend anyone.

    I fucking hate this chapter. Like seriously, visceraly, despise it with all my heart. Just reading that made me feel like Taylor should have triggered again, which is not a good thing.

    It was flat out rape, and a level of purposeful entrapment, assult, and deprivation of freedom worse than Taylor's original bullying and trigger event. I don't care about the ethics or circumstances of the setting, this is way past what I signed up to read both in terms of your apparent direction so far, and the tags you had used.

    Usually I like your stuff Ack, but this is fucking awfull. I had to force myself to finish reading it just so I can feel justified in saying that there was nothing redeeming about this chapter at all.
     
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  23. Guardian54

    Guardian54 Versed in the lewd.

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    The most "not okay" part is the fact that the computer systems were compromised, which is against the rules the higher-ups agreed to run the petri dishes under. After all, if you change experimental conditions on the fly then why bother even having an experimental protocol?

    The higher-ups must be as insanely uncreative as Entities then.
     
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  24. Jonakhensu

    Jonakhensu I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Congratulations, Ack. Your world is definitely darker than mine. I can't think of anything constructive to add, so... yeah.

    On a different note, did Tori take Pheromones with Permanence? Because that's the impression I got from the bath scene and Taylor's reactions.

    Also, nice rule-lawyering, Annette. Let's see if Danny agrees with your assessment that it's only cheating if it's another man.
     
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  25. Darkarma

    Darkarma Loli Ōtsutsuki

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    Why do I get the feeling that someone pulled Emma from Bet sometime in the future. Possibly Taylor herself recruited her... and with Time Travel in play, this is Emma's revenge.
     
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  26. Guardian54

    Guardian54 Versed in the lewd.

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    EDIT: Ack I think you successfully explained why Slut Life has to resort to kidnapping random people from across the multiverse to actually get participants. The customer service is THIS SHIT, and the middle management folks are THIS SUICIDAL (how many of the Secret Society members' first acts on joining were to ask to bump off some random middle management that none of the other members care enough about to protect).

    You are the first author I've known to successfully explain that glaring plot hole in the setting. Congratulations!:D

    I agree entirely.

    Mr. Arbor knows Taylor wants Secret Society Membership. Why is he committing suicide by raping Taylor's mother like this?

    Your girlfriend has some hot friends that she needs to convince not all men are evil. She wants to borrow your dick for a threesome or foursome. You know she's had sex with them before so if they had any diseases you'd have them already from her, so that's not a problem.

    I don't think this is a very hard (except in erectile hardness) decision for males to make. Danny has probably had enough ___somes with Annette and her friends that he'd shrug this off.
     
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2018
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  27. Darkarma

    Darkarma Loli Ōtsutsuki

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    To be contrary, I like this chapter, while I dislike the situation they've been put it. Well done Ack.

    Also fun fun idea. Taylor is going to be making a decent amount of money with all those jobs right? A years worth of work in a half a handful of weeks. The morals of this multiverse are pretty much nill.

    Time to start arranging for some accidents among SL's staffing.

    She may also need to buy an AI to keep her back.

    Blackmail. Lots and lots of blackmail. They have the technology Taylor has the BEES... time to grab all the footage that gets edited out and post in where everyone can see... Or else.
     
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  28. Guardian54

    Guardian54 Versed in the lewd.

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    I liked the chapter until I realized Mr. Arbor was committing suicide by pissing off a definite future secret society member.
    Why? He does not strike me as an altogether stupid man?
     
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  29. Darkarma

    Darkarma Loli Ōtsutsuki

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    Two things, the first he's tired and just got woken up? Or something along those lines, plus he's obviously lazy so he may have only skimmed to find the most glaring inconsistencies before confirming they were telling the truth. He may not have seen what she had chosen as the reward.

    Second, he knows something they don't about the Secret Society.

    At least that's I think might be going on.
     
  30. FlyingWaffle

    FlyingWaffle [Verified Pastry]

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    After having a moment to calm down and think about it, I have some other criticisms to add.

    The first half of the chapter (up to signing the contract) was perfectly fine, drama in this section was fine and felt natural considering what we know about the characters. After that point, the chapter dives down a waterfall of lava and ends up somewhere south of hell. Other than the obvious parts (rape, coercion, entrapment, etc) this part of the chapter firmly establishes that the world of Slut Life is not some post-scarcity sex-enlightened utopia. No, you establish that the employees of Slut Life are flat out rapist cunts and that situations like this have happened before. This is clearly not the first time someone has been trapped in a contract they did not agree to. If the ethics and morals of the Slut Life universe are this bankrupt then you might as well skip all the faffing about with fake contract bullshit and rewards, and just flat out abduct people from other universes and rape them on live TV. At that point, this story becomes "Rape Universe: The TV Show" which I am not interested in at all.

    Finally, if you are committed to maintaining this chapter and the direction it went then Taylor's reaction is entirely unrealistic. If I, as someone who has never been in a remotely similar situation, can feel my stomach drop out from under me and my heart pumping with adrenaline just from reading this, then Taylor (who as far as I can tell is still connected to her power) should have flipped the fuck out and had another trigger, possibly related to mastering people. Especially considering how similar this situation is to her original trigger event (psychologically).

    In my personal opinion, you have taken the "being Taylor is suffering" trope and driven it past grim-dark and straight into grim-derp.

    I'll keep following this for now just to see what your response is, but if you continue down this path then I'm fucking out.
     
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