1. Due to issues with external spam filters, QQ is currently unable to send any mail to Microsoft E-mail addresses. This includes any account at live.com, hotmail.com or msn.com. Signing up to the forum with one of these addresses will result in your verification E-mail never arriving. For best results, please use a different E-mail provider for your QQ address.
    Dismiss Notice
  2. For prospective new members, a word of warning: don't use common names like Dennis, Simon, or Kenny if you decide to create an account. Spammers have used them all before you and gotten those names flagged in the anti-spam databases. Your account registration will be rejected because of it.
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Since it has happened MULTIPLE times now, I want to be very clear about this. You do not get to abandon an account and create a new one. You do not get to pass an account to someone else and create a new one. If you do so anyway, you will be banned for creating sockpuppets.
    Dismiss Notice
  4. If you wish to change your username, please ask via conversation to tehelgee instead of asking via my profile. I'd like to not clutter it up with such requests.
    Dismiss Notice
  5. Due to the actions of particularly persistent spammers and trolls, we will be banning disposable email addresses from today onward.
    Dismiss Notice
  6. A note about the current Ukraine situation: Discussion of it is still prohibited as per Rule 8
    Dismiss Notice
  7. The rules regarding NSFW links have been updated. See here for details.
    Dismiss Notice
  8. The testbed for the QQ XF2 transition is now publicly available. Please see more information here.
    Dismiss Notice

With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

Loading...
  1. Idkusername

    Idkusername Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Nov 8, 2019
    Messages:
    1,463
    Likes Received:
    13,994
    Mr Zoat, correction
    on the story only thread.
     
    Chojin Patriarch likes this.
  2. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2016
    Messages:
    14,696
    Likes Received:
    728,928
    Basically, the fundamental operating principles are the same but the manifestations are different due to the differences in circumstances and events. Sunset used the sirens' necklaces and the mane six to calculate the differences between Earth and Wilson.
    And... What is it you think that is wrong?
     
  3. Idkusername

    Idkusername Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Nov 8, 2019
    Messages:
    1,463
    Likes Received:
    13,994
    ‘A hardcore’ is singular while ‘are’ is plural? I mean, I’m only assuming, but I thought English didn’t work that way.
     
  4. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2016
    Messages:
    14,696
    Likes Received:
    728,928
    Yes. The hardcore are a group.
     
    Ardy and Chojin Patriarch like this.
  5. Idkusername

    Idkusername Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Nov 8, 2019
    Messages:
    1,463
    Likes Received:
    13,994
    A group that is singular. Not a group that are singular. A choir sings, not ‘sing’. A parliament convenes. The noun is still singular.

    Also, hardcore is not a typical noun, and even if it was used as such, it would be ‘the’ hardcore not ‘a’ hardcore.
     
  6. Coda

    Coda Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2019
    Messages:
    1,079
    Likes Received:
    4,181
    Not in British English. In British English, mass nouns are considered plural.
     
    Bramble Thorn likes this.
  7. Idkusername

    Idkusername Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Nov 8, 2019
    Messages:
    1,463
    Likes Received:
    13,994
    Episode 71: Grind

    31st October
    18:58 GMT -5

    Elemental enough? Also on the story only thread.
     
  8. Coda

    Coda Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2019
    Messages:
    1,079
    Likes Received:
    4,181
    That one's intentional, too. It's like "elemental-ish" -- not actually an elemental, but enough like one to work.
     
  9. Idkusername

    Idkusername Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Nov 8, 2019
    Messages:
    1,463
    Likes Received:
    13,994
    Hmm. Doing a bit of research, I landed on this dictionary.com article that goes into the topic in detail. It says, and I quote,
    However, given that I’ve been in the UK for little more than half a year, I’d defer to Mr Zoat on this. British English is actually much more different than Indian English than I thought it would be.

    Also, have you named yourself after The Beginner’s Guide?
     
  10. Idkusername

    Idkusername Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Nov 8, 2019
    Messages:
    1,463
    Likes Received:
    13,994
    Ah! I get it. It just didn’t click. We have that too, it’s just treated as slang, so I din’t quote make the connection.
     
  11. Idkusername

    Idkusername Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Nov 8, 2019
    Messages:
    1,463
    Likes Received:
    13,994
    ‘Anything to do with’
     
    Mr Zoat and Chojin Patriarch like this.
  12. Coda

    Coda Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2019
    Messages:
    1,079
    Likes Received:
    4,181
    I've had this name for WAY longer than that -- almost 20 years. Though I did know about that and thought it was an amusing coincidence, as I am in fact an indie game dev that's not very good at actually finishing projects.
     
    Ardy likes this.
  13. Idkusername

    Idkusername Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Nov 8, 2019
    Messages:
    1,463
    Likes Received:
    13,994
    Same snippet

    blank look?
     
  14. Coda

    Coda Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2019
    Messages:
    1,079
    Likes Received:
    4,181
    "Black" in the metaphorical sense -- dark and negative.

    This one's actually good.
     
    Bramble Thorn likes this.
  15. Idkusername

    Idkusername Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Nov 8, 2019
    Messages:
    1,463
    Likes Received:
    13,994
    I got that, it just seemed a little off to me. Part of it is probably that despite me priding myself on my diplomacy, it takes conscious effort from me and escalation is second nature. Not really sure why I went on a tangent there.
     
  16. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2016
    Messages:
    14,696
    Likes Received:
    728,928
    Thank you, corrected.
     
  17. Threadmarks: Equestrian Guise (part 18)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2016
    Messages:
    14,696
    Likes Received:
    728,928
    Canterlot
    Afternoon


    I clear my throat as Circe and Sunset continue casting spells on the newly ascended alicorn to make sure everything worked as intended.

    "'Tallest'?"

    "What?" She glances in my direction. "Tallest actual alicorn, not an… Apokoliptian who got turned into one by Starswirl's mirror."

    "So 'second tallest alicorn', then?"

    "You don't count."

    "Sure thing, shorty." She gives me a mild glare, but there's no bite to it. "So what does this mean for your human form?"

    "Ah, actually? I was thinking of just boom tubing back. I mean, hands are great and all, but I've been a pony for a lot longer than I was a human. Picking things up with my magic still feels more natural than using my hands."

    "Okay." I nod. "You can do that. As long as you don't mind getting mobbed whenever you go anywhere due to being an adorable little pony."

    "Ah, 'regal, big pony'."

    "Haven't you measured yourself yet? You're bigger than all ponies who aren't me-"

    "So all the pony-ponies."

    "-but in absolute terms you're not all that big. You're not even horse-size yet." She frowns and looks to Circe for confirmation. "Not only are you the wrong shape for the environment, you're an ultra-cute version of something people think of as a riding animal. Little girls will be coming up to you to feed you sugar cubes." Her eyes unfocus slightly as she sees the disadvantage. "And I can identify as 'pony' if I want. Respect my species-identity."

    "Your species-identity is 'ass'."

    "Whow, go easy on the specieism, there. You're an alicorn now; you have to set an example."

    She huffs and turns to her mentor. "Circe, how did I do?"

    "Yes, Sunset, you're quite tall."

    "I meant the spell."

    "As far as I can tell, everything is as you intended." She leans up slightly to nuzzle her. "Well done."

    "Thank you." Sunset bows her head slightly. "For all the help you've given me, and… For everything."

    "That's quite alright, Sunset."

    "And…" She looks at me. "Thank you, Grayven. Without you, this… I wouldn't-."

    "Have got here, I know."

    "Have got here for a few more years. But… Yeah. And you could be right about being a pony while on Earth. I'm still going to try it, but I guess all the attention could be a bit aggravating."

    Circe raises her eyebrows. "And what about all of the attention your human form gets you?"

    "Ah. It's not that much? Misa helps me out-."

    "I believe what Circe is referring to is how your human form will change to reflect your new pony form. The animated mane, larger size… Assuming that your growth is proportionate you won't be all that much shorter than me."

    "Ooooh."

    "And while I'm no judge of equine beauty, I'm going to hazard a guess that-."

    Sunset's gaze grows a little vacant. "I'm going to be some sort of amazonian supermodel."

    I smile. "The Amazons do like strapping young women. I don't think that they really have models-."

    "No, it's okay. I can just stay in the mountain-." She frowns, looking at me. "I can make myself one of those illusion charms you use." Rats. "But… Maybe I'll… Try it, first. As a pony, and… As a human."

    Circe smiles. "And what will you do with your time now?"

    "Do? I've got two completely new forms of pony magic to master, plus whatever I get by combining them, plus relearning everything I can do as a human to take this change into account. I'm not exactly going to be underemployed."

    "But you won't miss having an overarching goal?"

    "No, this was always just one step on the journey. Yes, it's an important one that proves that my approach is correct and gives me all the time in the universe to work on the rest, but it was never my end goal. I wasn't going to turn myself into an alicorn and just retire." She takes a deep breath. "But seeing as my magic is working just fine…"

    She extends her wings and lightly flaps, rising off the floor with barely a whisper of wind. Then she spreads her wings and just.. floats there.

    "Huh. That was easy."

    I frown. "How are you-?"

    Rainbow Dash darts in, staring at her. Then she flits around to examine Sunset's wings, then from another angle. Then she drifts back slightly and puts her right hoof to her chin.

    "Huh. You're making air currents to stay up." She twists her head around. "Hey, Twilight, how come you can't do that?"

    Twilight's eyes widen slightly at being put on the spot like that. "I… Er… Probably can."

    Sunset nods. "You should be able to. Your special talent is magic, after all. The same as mine."

    Twilight sort of goldfishes for a moment before Sunset shakes her head.

    "I'm just messing with you. I studied pegasus magic for years when I was living here. And I'm guessing you didn't."

    "I.. studied the applications, and the history of-."

    "Of course you did." Sunset pauses for a moment then lands, sighing. "No, sorry. I shouldn't use the fact that I know something you don't to make you feel bad." Twilight looks slightly mollified. "But you should learn this."

    Rainbow Dash nods. "Maybe if somepony wasn't slacking off on her flying lessons, she wouldn't get shown up like this."

    "And trust me-" Sunset flexes her right wing, creating a small spark of electricity which she tosses to her left and then tosses to.. just in front of her, where it forms a small, crackling ball. She smiles. "-if you like magic this is every bit as interesting as unicorn magic."

    Twilight smiles. "I suppose it can't hurt." She looks Sunset over. "But I don’t understand how you're so big. I know I've gotten taller since my ascension, but… We tested your magic and you were only about as strong as me."

    "Oh, that's simple. You're going to keep growing until you get to roughly my size. But the spell you used was designed to be as safe as possible because Starswirl didn't understand exactly how the process worked and he didn't want to risk killing Celestia or Luna. So you only grow slowly. Since I knew exactly what I was doing I decided to skip the wait and empower myself fully from the start." She thinks for a moment. "Actually, Luna? I can't make you any bigger, but now that you're back on Equestria you're probably going to start growing again."

    For a fraction of a second Luna looks incredibly pleased with herself, then schools her expression.

    "That will be an interesting experience."

    "But right now-."

    Celestia steps forwards. "Sunset-."

    "Y.. eah…" Sunset nods. "We probably need to.. talk."

    "I spoke with Grayven, concerning... You. I will try to avoid offending you if you will agree to have patience if I fail."

    Sunset nods again and trots forward. "Yeah. Okay. And then we can…"





    Pinkie twitches, then resolutely shakes her head.





    The door bursts open as Party Popper storms in, guards hanging from her barrel!

    "HAVE A PARTY!"

    She collapses to the ground panting. I regard her impassively.

    "What? I was at the other end of the palace. Even if you cue me in I can only gallop so fast."
     
    Last edited: Mar 31, 2020
  18. thebishop8

    thebishop8 Umm, ackchyually...

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2019
    Messages:
    360
    Likes Received:
    2,255
    Change "storng" to "strong".
     
  19. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2019
    Messages:
    22,134
    Likes Received:
    320,293
    'about as strong' not 'about as storng"

    I also think the first one should be Circe and Celestia instead of Circe and Sunset seeing as Celestia seemed to be scanning her in the previous chapter.
    Unless Sunset is doing a self diagnostic

    Zoat can we have an idea of what the title for the next episode will be?
     
  20. FreeGod

    FreeGod If you see a God on the road fuck it!

    Joined:
    May 26, 2016
    Messages:
    8,526
    Likes Received:
    15,117
    I miss the funny option.
     
  21. NightmareWarden

    NightmareWarden Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2015
    Messages:
    1,093
    Likes Received:
    5,097
    That was a terrific gag at the end.
     
  22. Ganurath

    Ganurath Apologizes For Nothing

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2014
    Messages:
    2,532
    Likes Received:
    20,678
    I was going to guess "Build a space ship!"
     
  23. Tavarokk

    Tavarokk Pursuer of perversion

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2015
    Messages:
    11,806
    Likes Received:
    18,535
    Rub it in Celestia's face, rub it in more.
     
    Last edited: Mar 25, 2020
  24. PrinceJonathan

    PrinceJonathan Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2016
    Messages:
    1,602
    Likes Received:
    16,670
    SPACESHIP!

    Everything is Awesome would make a good Pony song. Rainbow Dash would certainly love it.
     
  25. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2019
    Messages:
    1,289
    Likes Received:
    12,973
    Huh. A sort-of-transhuman upgrade going well. A rarity in fiction.

    Normally it's all "things not meant for mortals, ooooh!"
     
  26. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2015
    Messages:
    5,518
    Likes Received:
    20,731
    Not unless Zoat massively alters the way the mirror works you won't.

    Because both Luna and Celestia were only somewhere around 5 foot 8 inches in height.
     
    Wild Transient, Navi-Hank and JoTa34 like this.
  27. Agent Orange

    Agent Orange Experienced.

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2016
    Messages:
    3,608
    Likes Received:
    29,694
    A sort-of-transpony upgrade going well. Don't be a specieist :p
     
  28. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2019
    Messages:
    22,134
    Likes Received:
    320,293
    If Sunset has problems with her new human look when she goes to Earth she could ask for advice from Diana about how she dealt with it, or ask Knockout.
     
    Jormuungaand, Wild Transient and Ardy like this.
  29. Agent Orange

    Agent Orange Experienced.

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2016
    Messages:
    3,608
    Likes Received:
    29,694
    But that would mean not using magic to solve any and every problem? Wouldn't it be much healthier to use a little magic to make any unwanted suitors buzz off (perhaps literally)? Or to cover her new and improved bod in much plainer glamour? /s
     
  30. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2016
    Messages:
    14,696
    Likes Received:
    728,928
    Thank you, corrected.
    Yes. Sunset wouldn't want Celestia running the checks, and she wouldn't know enough to do so anyway.
    Repetition.
     
Loading...