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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. ohA

    ohA Getting out there.

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    That one's easy, it's not a small army it's a squad of like 6 people, and they are trying to take over the country via a "The American Dream" corporate front instead of the direct option that gets you air striked.


    Not sure how worth noting this is. Imagine the youtube hatevlog(seriously every episode starts with "I don't want to be making this video but the comments keep asking") wasn't available and the update had instead been based on a four-sentence summary on IMDB. This would probably cause the setting to be /differently/ inaccurate but not make "you're directly contradicting events on screen to try to portray reactions to them as unintelligent" criticisms any less appropriate.

    Super speed ought to curbstomp any power-set short of time manipulation / savescumming, nobody else including most of arrowverse The Flash seems to take it seriously either. With This Ring has been the only remotely reasonable portrayal I've run into of how scary DC speedsters really are.

    I think having the bazooka pole helps, whether or not you're a ballerina. Whether it helps more than a ~regular gun~…
     
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  2. thebishop8

    thebishop8 Umm, ackchyually...

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    The next episode looks interesting, based on the table of contents. I once asked Zoat if he was going to do anything interesting for episode 100, and he said he didn't have any plans to do so, but that was admittedly almost a year ago.
     
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  3. Idkusername

    Idkusername Versed in the lewd.

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    My point exactly. Gymnastic skills are entirely irrelevant to fighting aside from engendering physical fitness and flexibility. Vaermina brought it up for some reason to imply that it increased her competence, in a bizarrely understated moments of troll logic.
     
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  4. Slayer Anderson

    Slayer Anderson Orthodox Heretic

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    That’s honestly less believable, not more. If they’re trying to take over the country via wealth and corporate ties, what are they even doing fighting against a teenage superhero in a small podunk town? What motivation do they have to personally see to this problem instead of radicalizing a bunch of domestic terrorists in the city or sending in squads of covert mercenaries?

    The more I learn about this show, the worse it looks, and it looked pretty damn awful after the first two episodes.
     
  5. Vorian

    Vorian Versed in the lewd.

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    She's around the same age as the others, and basically what happened is Courtney is terrible at secret identities, the girl caught on and investigated, found Courtney's stash of superhero stuff and got the goggles, then it was kinda a thing before anyone got too serious about objecting.

    No, that's an entirely fair question.

    It's worse than that, her staff stopped her. Not sure what the staff needs her for, it's better at this than she is.

    To be fair, the only one Courtney actually chose is the most competent one on the team. Possibly including the adult.

    They might have picked some off early, but the series opens with a team vs team fight between the original JSA and the ISA. Mostly offscreen.
     
  6. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    The Flash takes it seriously.

    Except when the villain of the week needs to escape, in which case, like in all the CW shows, all they have to do it run around a corner.
     
  7. ohA

    ohA Getting out there.

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    They're trying to take over the country starting with a testbed project in the podunk town. This turned into fighting against a teenage superhero when the Cosmic Staff attacked one of their families, with the teenager vaguely in tow.

    Poorly. Secured. Tinkertech.

    (also one of them kills another to make a point - not the most stable of organizations)
     
  8. TheMidnightRook

    TheMidnightRook Well worn.

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    If by "every" you mean one. Out of seven so far. The first starts with him complaining about the network saturating the market with superhero shows, and having wanted a break after Batwoman (which did have the "I want to quit but the comments keep asking" thing... as a joke). Three starts with him complaining that the episode started good but the ending ruins it. Four starts with a dig at Wildcat's mask, and complaining about the pacing. Five has more complaints about pacing. Six opens with him apologizing for a mistake he made in Five. And Seven opens with a joke.

    Every video also tries to include mentioning things the episode did right. The review for episode seven was even mostly positive.
     
  9. Slayer Anderson

    Slayer Anderson Orthodox Heretic

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    Bad parenting and stupid egocentric teenagers fighting hardened murderers isn’t reducible to a single causal factor. That also doesn’t address the other strategies I posited either.

    Seriously, they should have evacuated the town of their operation the moment they found out a Super was in town.

    Either that, or, place a ton of guys with binoculars all over the city in hidden positions and have them map her back to her home after she goes out to stop one of them. Then put a bullet in her head while she’s waiting for the bus. Or sabotage their home’s gas line.

    this isn’t rocket science and these people were evidently smart enough to kill the original JSA.
     
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  10. Pinklestia

    Pinklestia Well worn.

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    The staff is supposed to give her a forcefield, so just shooting her should not be easy.

    if the show doesn't even do that... ugh.
     
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2020
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  11. Ace Dreamer

    Ace Dreamer Questioning The Nature of our Realities

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    Should I be concerned that this is the (alleged) basic plot of Excel Saga? :)
    (I wish to make it clear I've not read the manga, only watched the anime, in case that's relevant.)
    ((I further wish to make it clear that Excel Saga is a parody, and in places rather NSFW.))
    This is one reason why wearing a force-field belt 24/7 once you start super-hero-ing is smart. Yes, it's likely that the special effects of it stopping a bullet will impact your secret identity, but, rather that than being dead.

    (Yes, I know, she doesn't have anything like that. Just a large staff, with a mind of its own.)


    Arguably, it's the staff to blame for this whole mess, in the story. So, if they can get an explanation out of it, or access it's memory, that would be wise... Did the staff detect a situation that it decided had to be dealt with, immediately?
     
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2020
  12. Vorian

    Vorian Versed in the lewd.

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    She doesn't carry the staff with her 24/7, it's kinda conspicuous. Track her civilian ID down and you can just snipe her on her way to school or something.
     
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  13. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    I mean, using that logic you could just stick a teleporter in front of sniper rifle that fires explosive bullets and kill everyone with internal headshots.
     
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  14. Vorian

    Vorian Versed in the lewd.

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    Not sure why you're quoting me in particular there but that's not necessarily a viable tactic vs forcefields. The ISA in the show hasn't been shown to have that tech either as far as I recall.
     
    Darko likes this.
  15. TheEyes

    TheEyes Well worn.

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    I haven't seen the show, but from the commentary here it seems like the staff is doing all the work, and Courney's only job is to balance on the staff and let it beat up everybody. In that case being a gymnast untrained for combat might be a good thing, as you won't be fighting the staff (not having anything to "unlearn")
     
  16. ohA

    ohA Getting out there.

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    I have perhaps overemphasized this aspect, I definitely agree with criticism that for a random gymnast her doing flips on/against the staff has unrealistic combat effectiveness. Mostly I wanted to get across that the staff was doing much of the picking fights with supervillains being declaimed as irresponsible, no matter how subordinate a role it may or may not take once the conflict is in motion.
     
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  17. Threadmarks: Wyrm (part 1)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    A Week in the Life of

    11th April 2011
    00:43


    I take a moment to regard the petty criminals sitting on some sort of large canine on the rooftop a short distance from me. The young woman in the dog mask.. is quietly growling. Odd. The young man in regency dress is subtly trying to nudge his hound backwards. The thickset man in leather is trying to appear completely calm while supporting the semi-conscious woman sharing his dog, wisps of the black.. material he appears able to control pooling around their feet.

    "Undersiders. Please pay attention, for I will say this only once. I will be cleaning house in Brockton Bay. You may find legitimate employment, you may leave the city, or I will kill you. Am I understood?"

    Regency looks down onto the street below, where the charred remains of Lung and the corpses of his retinue are slowly cooling.

    "Yeah, I think we got the fucking message."

    Leather's head dips for a moment, then returns to facing me. "What did you do to Tats?"

    "Nothing deliberate. She appears-" I scan her body. "-to.. have unusual activity in the part of her brain controlling her superhuman abilities. I could attempt to turn it off, but that probably wouldn't be healthy for her. If she collapsed when I arrived, I would suggest removing her from my presence as quickly as possible."

    "Yeah. How long you giving us?"

    "I'm working from most serious to least serious. I will be checking on you shortly after Uber and Leet."

    "That's.. after the Nazis and the Merchants?"

    "And what's left of the Asian Bad Boys, naturally."

    He snorts quietly. "Good luck with that."

    "Thank you. Ah, I see that you all have the same brain abnormality. That will make this easier."

    No sirens, I note. A man glowing with yellow light shoots a dragon in the brain with a positron beam, and no one calls the police. Clearly, I couldn't get here soon enough.

    "So, like… Can we go?"

    "Yes. Be about your business."

    A series of somewhat frantic looks are exchanged between the two men, then the one in leathers carefully lays a hand on the dog girl's shoulder. She tenses, but after a moment she whistles and the canines turn away.

    I hope that they make a sensible decision.

    I float downwards, yellow filaments flicking out and plugging into the phones owned by members of the fallen dragon's retinue. I doubt they have much identifying information stored on them, but I'm perfectly capable of brute forcing the records held by their service providers, bankers and.. accessing city records to locate their registered addresses, scanning their home computers and-.

    Why are there so many flies? And why aren't they being attracted to the corpses?

    Hm.

    In a city there are almost always going to be some observers. I turn slowly in the air, looking through the walls at the fears of those inside the buildings around me. Generally, I can tell how bad things are by how glad people are to see me, and from the look of things…

    Things aren't too bad-.

    Several small flies attempt to land in my hair. A scan of the local area reveals one person with the signature brain abnormality of the local superhumans. A young woman wearing a.. ersatz costume. Nothing about her in local records. I transition to just in front of her.

    "May I help-"

    Flying insects of many types swarm in from all directions, creating a cloud around my face as she hurriedly backs away.

    "-you? I bear you no malice, my environmental shield is proof against insects and I can see where you are perfectly well without using my eyes. I am merely trying to ascertain your purpose here."

    She's showing up rather brightly in my 'empathic vision' at the moment. She knows perfectly well that she wasn't ready for a confrontation like this, but-.

    "If you're looking for the Undersiders, they've already left."

    The insects are showing up in yellow as well. Curious. Simple insects shouldn't be mentally complex enough for true fear. And if they were, they wouldn't be behaving like this.

    "Who are you? Are-? You a hero?"

    "I would be somewhat sceptical of anyone who would describe themselves as a hero." I raise my hands to gesture to the cloud of flies. "Would you mind?"

    The insects withdraw, forming a dense cloud around the young woman and settling on her body. She's trying to disguise her outline. Alright.

    "You killed Lung."

    "If violence troubles you, I suggest finding a new career. There's always work for a good exterminator."

    "Why did you kill him?"

    "He was a serial murderer who runs an organisation of rapists, slavers, murderers and drug peddling thugs. Would you like to reflect upon your question?"

    She just stands there for a moment.

    "Look, if there's nothing else I've got a lot of people to kill-."

    "Are you-? Trying to be a hero? I mean, is this-? Normal?"

    "How are you defining 'hero'?"

    "How are you defining 'hero'?"

    "A hero is someone who lives to improve the lives of others, rather than to improve their own. I look at the situation in Brockton Bay and I see rampant gangs and under-resourced law enforcement organisations with bad doctrine who are failing to bring the situation under control. Therefore, I will cull the criminal population until it reaches a level where civil peacekeeping becomes possible. Once I am done, I will move on to the next city and repeat the process."

    "So you do think you're a hero."

    "I'm trying to be one. Not that I want to imply that I think there's only one way to be a hero."

    "And what about the Protectorate? Do you think they're heroes?"

    "Probably not. The silly costumes were the first clue. Not that there's anything wrong with being a police officer or a soldier, or that people employed in those capacities can't be heroic or be heroes."

    "But you wouldn't join them."

    "No. They would hobble me and drag me down to their level of ineffectiveness. Though-" I smile. "-it could just be that I'm a pontificating serial killer with delusions of utility."

    Another person with a super tumour is approaching… On a large motorcycle.

    "I believe that the authorities are responding. You may wish to absent yourself."

    "You.. know they're.. going to arrest you?"

    I smile wryly as I turn away.

    "If they couldn't arrest Lung then I very much doubt that they can successfully arrest me."
     
    Last edited: May 21, 2021
  18. B.B. Rain

    B.B. Rain I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    ...huh. An enlightened Yellow in worm, rather then the Ophidian-fused Orange from the prior references...then again, those were fan omakes, rather than Zoat-made, I think?

    Still, a somewhat interesting approach.
     
  19. Idkusername

    Idkusername Versed in the lewd.

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    Remember the days when Mr Zoat had never heard of Worm and wouldn't consider doing a snippet?
     
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  20. Ardy

    Ardy I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Oh sweet Christ on a cracker it finally happened.
     
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  21. Lazurman

    Lazurman That Others May Fap

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  22. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    'pay'

    This one did the same meditation like Lord Protector to get enlightened?

    How is he powering his ring?
     
  23. Silverias

    Silverias Know what you're doing yet?

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    Regent
     
  24. BlueMangoAdea

    BlueMangoAdea Alive. For now.

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    Wyrm!Paul doesn't know his name. He's calling Regent "Regency" because he is wearing a "regency dress" whatever that is.
     
  25. Lothlo

    Lothlo Not too sore, are you?

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    The moment an Endbringer appears, ParaPaul will get a boost out of all that ambient fear... Now not only Cauldron will fear 'the man in yellow'
     
  26. Zig

    Zig Not too sore, are you?

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    Using Cherish as a battery?
     
  27. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Plus he also called Grue 'Leathers'.
     
  28. Razorfloss

    Razorfloss I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    I believe that yellow can be powered by ambient fear energy
     
  29. Grimnar

    Grimnar Versed in the lewd.

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    Why is he starting as Enlightened?
     
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  30. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Yellow can get their constructs strengthened by fear, but only blue Lanterns can actually recharge their rings through their emotion being present.
     
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