doug89
Versed in the lewd.
- Joined
- Feb 26, 2017
- Messages
- 2,337
-
An addendum to Rule 3 regarding fan-translated works of things such as Web Novels has been made. Please see here for details.
-
We've issued a clarification on our policy on AI-generated work.
-
Our mod selection process has completed. Please welcome our new moderators.
-
Due to issues with external spam filters, QQ is currently unable to send any mail to Microsoft E-mail addresses. This includes any account at live.com, hotmail.com or msn.com. Signing up to the forum with one of these addresses will result in your verification E-mail never arriving. For best results, please use a different E-mail provider for your QQ address.
-
The rules regarding NSFW links have been updated. See here for details.
With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)
- Thread starter Mr Zoat
- Start date
-
- Tags
- self insert young justice
Darko
Connoisseur.
- Joined
- Nov 20, 2019
- Messages
- 23,244
Krono technically isn't from the Fallout world so he qualifies as an alien.
There's always the Mandate episode.
transhumansage
Versed in the lewd.
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2016
- Messages
- 1,271
stop whining. inspiration doesnt strike when you want it to. it was a great update zoat, please continue.
Mr Zoat
Dedicated ragequitter
- Joined
- Dec 1, 2016
- Messages
- 17,967
No. The ring charge was used up fixing the neurotropic initiator that gave him psychic powers. The perfected FEV was produced by working with super mutant researchers, Diana and Groom Lake's biotechnology laboratory.
Nearly. They're used to thinking as one, but they're bound by the song. They could be separated.
It has one very big gun. The Fallout setting really doesn't need more of those. Plus, they have to learn to operate and maintain the ship before it falls apart, and that's if the residents are happy for them to do that. Then you've got the fact that the zetans might just come back in more force.
As I understand it, the reason the Fallout setting uses micro vacuum tubes is that they're less affected by EMP.
Basically, the US knew after their first invasion that they'd never be able to occupy China. So they built a giant policing and occupation AI called Tlaloc and put it in charge of most of Mexico for practise. Two hundred years later Tlaloc's done a reasonable job but but is falling apart. In game-canon, Tlaloc dies and his smaller AI 'sons' take over his territory, each of them patterned after one of Mexico's former rulers. Here, the SI repaired Tlaloc so that's not going to happen, but Santa Anna had already broken free.
The Odious King is one of the people who can become ruler of the Bone Dancers.
Mr Zoat
Dedicated ragequitter
- Joined
- Dec 1, 2016
- Messages
- 17,967
Thank you, I'll change the link.
FeepingCreature
Not too sore, are you?
- Joined
- Jul 21, 2017
- Messages
- 463
I for one really enjoy the Fallout snippets, even more so than the main story. I think it's probably good that we're getting a mix, so there's something for everyone. 
Bramble Thorn
Verified Silhouette
- Joined
- Dec 9, 2015
- Messages
- 774
I don't have a problem with them in and of themselves.
I do have a problem with how they are being presented.
Mr Zoat there have been stories I have liked, and ended to dropping because the author kept adding new POV characters to the normal lineup, and switching between them to frequently.
The Interlude thing seems to be ok, where you have the main focal character that is the subject of an episode, and a couple "meanwhile, back at the (alternate universe) ranch" in there.
But this constant waffling between the two, I do not like. Unless the two separate streams are going to converge within the current episode, I think it would be much better reading the split them into fully separate episodes, presented sequentially. Either the Krono episode followed by by the OL episode, or the OL episode followed by the Krono episode. Possibly with a Renegade two day segment between the two. Because at this point, it appears there are going to enough of Krono's segments to make a complete episode.
This taking the two and shuffling them together is just making each less enjoyable to read.
Last edited:
AidanMorgan
Essentially Overworked
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2017
- Messages
- 592
I have only the one problem with the fallout snippets and that's that they're coming in between the buildup to what promises to be a truly epic confrontation on Qward.
WereDragon
Bookwyrm
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2020
- Messages
- 491
More subtle than most advertisements I guess.
The great tragedy of Fallout: it never expanded beyond the North American continent.
Going to have to agree with this.
The Fallout updates are great. The regular updates are fine. But constantly swapping between them is annoying and detracts from both.
Krono is not on hard mode. Not remotely. While he has less to work with he also has vastly less opposition.Ngamer11
Experienced.
- Joined
- Jan 28, 2019
- Messages
- 3,769
Found an old error. It should be 'Unless'.
ForeverShogo
I trust you know where the happy button is?
- Joined
- Sep 25, 2016
- Messages
- 528
If Santa Anna wants to do better than his organic self did, then I would assume at some point he's going to become a threat to Krono's people. Like, after reclaiming Texas, I'd asssume he'd want to reclaim the territory that was lost during the Mexican-American War given that was also something of an embarrassment for the historical Santa Anna.
And to expound on things a little further . . . The AI Tlaloc starts the mod in the process of fracturing and dying. With some of his subroutines managing to develop into yet more AIs. These "sons" of his are patterned after Santa Anna, Maximilian I, Emiliano Zapata, and Moctezuma II.
As was stated, Santa Anna starts out as already independent from Tlaloc. The other three are still subordinate to Tlaloc, not breaking free to do their own thing until after Tlaloc's inevitable demise. (Though Krono fixed Tlaloc, so I guess they'll stay chained.)
And I said it before, but the unseen threat is Cerberus.
And to expound on things a little further . . . The AI Tlaloc starts the mod in the process of fracturing and dying. With some of his subroutines managing to develop into yet more AIs. These "sons" of his are patterned after Santa Anna, Maximilian I, Emiliano Zapata, and Moctezuma II.
As was stated, Santa Anna starts out as already independent from Tlaloc. The other three are still subordinate to Tlaloc, not breaking free to do their own thing until after Tlaloc's inevitable demise. (Though Krono fixed Tlaloc, so I guess they'll stay chained.)
And I said it before, but the unseen threat is Cerberus.
PrinceJonathan
Versed in the lewd.
- Joined
- Dec 2, 2016
- Messages
- 1,799
The bedroom games are going to be fun.
Doccer
Versed in the lewd.
- Joined
- Jul 21, 2019
- Messages
- 1,258
Was he able to maintain his preferred appearance? Or does he look all mutie now?
Maxx Crowley
I trust you know where the happy button is?
- Joined
- May 10, 2017
- Messages
- 873
You'll have to forgive me, but my level of I don't give a crap is pretty strong right now.
Because I'm not talking about in universe. If Starfire wants to go out on an adventure searching for a blue ring of Hope, then hey good on her. But let's remember, if there is no Blue Lantern Corps, there are no blue Rings, Saint Walker is apparently doing a big whatever he's doing. Neither of the two Guardians that formed the Blue Corps are really going to be doing that per word of Zoat.
So, you'll have to forgive me, if I find it unendingly annoying that literally every single time Starfire is brought up, the min-maxers on the forum start harping about her getting a blue ring. She has a ring, sure it might be suboptimal from an out of universe, or even in Universal standard. What its what she's got.
This is especially egregious when she's a side character that hardly ever shows up. Para-Paul had to go to some pretty extreme lengths to get Alan his blue ring. Which was literally to save his life. Somehow, and you'll have to forgive me once again, I don't see Starfire really qualifying for that level of effort. Because, you know, it doesn't really matter, she's already got a power ring.
In universe, I suppose she could do whatever she wants as I said. But out of universe, does everyone really have to harp on it every time she's brought up?
She could have no ring after all. No ring, and sitting her ass on her planet of orange people with no super powers beyond flying.
Because I've been reading comics my entire life, and I've never seen a character or the readers complain about a character's super powers in the hope that they will get new super powers that are, in fact, the SAME super powers....just a different color.
Last edited:
Radix
I trust you know where the happy button is?
- Joined
- Nov 21, 2020
- Messages
- 705
I agree on these interludes.
Most of the Paulternates usually come at time-skips when there is a break in the story. But here it seems to keep coming at the rising in the action. It doesn't help that I the Fallout story feels a lot more low-stakes to me given the interesting stuff with Qward.
It also happens more frequently where we get a couple back and forth instead of a couple and then a big batch of Paragon. This is really throwing the pacing off.
Most of the Paulternates usually come at time-skips when there is a break in the story. But here it seems to keep coming at the rising in the action. It doesn't help that I the Fallout story feels a lot more low-stakes to me given the interesting stuff with Qward.
It also happens more frequently where we get a couple back and forth instead of a couple and then a big batch of Paragon. This is really throwing the pacing off.
Mr Zoat
Dedicated ragequitter
- Joined
- Dec 1, 2016
- Messages
- 17,967
Huh. Weird. Thank you, corrected.
Thank you, corrected.
Yes, he looks like a unusually healthy normal human.
In the interests of honesty, I have personally complained about TV Supergirl's heat vision being the wrong colour.
Honestly, I think you're right. I didn't originally intend to write this many. They just sort of happened. I'll try and ease up.
Darko
Connoisseur.
- Joined
- Nov 20, 2019
- Messages
- 23,244
Along with, you know, being easier to use and allowing her to grow and become more powerful in ways the orange light can't since she's not as compatible with it as she is with blue.
Chaoswind
Lord of nonsense
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2019
- Messages
- 1,697
Maybe Paul is going to get blasted into fall out earth by the time his mission to qward is over? Would certainly make the constant switching make more sense.
Otherwise I would have to agree the interludes constantly interrupting each other is an issue of pacing even more so when the mini time skips within each time line don't appear to have a consistent pattern.
Paul is going down towards the core of a planet, something that I would expect to not take more than a couple dozen hours, while krono POV is jumping around by several hours or even days at a time... Its kinda jarring.
Otherwise I would have to agree the interludes constantly interrupting each other is an issue of pacing even more so when the mini time skips within each time line don't appear to have a consistent pattern.
Paul is going down towards the core of a planet, something that I would expect to not take more than a couple dozen hours, while krono POV is jumping around by several hours or even days at a time... Its kinda jarring.
Darko
Connoisseur.
- Joined
- Nov 20, 2019
- Messages
- 23,244
The Anti-Monitor is an extremely powerful entity who can manipulate the multiverse, so if he somehow shows up, which seeing as it's Qward, it may happen.
I can definitely see the next mass crossover arc involving him.
And I'm also getting the feeling that Paul may be responsible for it happening.
So far he seems to have convinced Kalmin, albeit accidently, to take over his society so he can increase worship of the Anti-Monitor, and I can see Kalmin trying to find the Anti-Monitor and helping him.
Maxx Crowley
I trust you know where the happy button is?
- Joined
- May 10, 2017
- Messages
- 873
Which is, again, meta-gaming, min/maxing bullshit that one grows weary of hearing over and over and over.
Paul has zero reason to waste his time getting Starfire a another ring that doesn't exist, with a power battery that doesn't exist, for a corps that do not exist. If she doesn't want his ring, she can give it back and go sit her ass back on her planet. Or she can buck the fuck up, and make it work.
Zoat has little reason to spend time min/maxing a barely relevant side character short of him being bored or wanting to shut people up.
But hey, maybe Alan will hope her up a copy of his ring, and she can be a barely relevant side character that is blue. But then maybe she'll meet Dick Grayson and suddenly become more compatible with a violet ring and people can bitch about that.
I I'm going to declare that a completely different type of nitpick. It would however be the same if you complain that instead of heat vision from solar radiation, she should have flame breath from spicy food, because she's really compatible and enjoy spicy food and peppers.
Darko
Connoisseur.
- Joined
- Nov 20, 2019
- Messages
- 23,244
Aside from his own desire to see those around him improve and become better, as well as creating a new Corps and thus increasing the power his side has, but fine let's drop the topic.
Honestly wouldn't mind that.
We already know that one of her counterparts can use it and given her personality she may also be able to do it.
For some reason I'm thinking that if Kryptonian powers were more like the Silver Age versions then this may be a thing.
Given the sheer amount of powers Superman had during that time and how absurd they were, it wouldn't be that shocking if this happened, assuming their powers were like the Silver Age.
Last edited:
Coda
Versed in the lewd.
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2019
- Messages
- 1,084
Oh. Huh. So Santa Ana and Santa Anna are two different things.
Tzeentch
Versed in the lewd.
- Joined
- Feb 16, 2019
- Messages
- 1,177
If we get another X-Men snippet, I'm rather looking forward to seeing if Paul has given the X-Mansion security system a series of upgrades that would cause even the toughest of adversaries to avoid the place like the plague.
PAUL: (on speaker) Come on Mister Lensherr, just take ONE step! I promise, you won't feel a thing!
MAGNETO: "Won't feel a thing?" Young man, do you intend to render me unconscious, or KILL me?
PAUL: Eh, either way, we wouldn't have to suffer yet ANOTHER one of your legendary megalomaniacal rants. I swear, you're almost as bad as Doom, or The Red Skull!
PAUL: (on speaker) Come on Mister Lensherr, just take ONE step! I promise, you won't feel a thing!
MAGNETO: "Won't feel a thing?" Young man, do you intend to render me unconscious, or KILL me?
PAUL: Eh, either way, we wouldn't have to suffer yet ANOTHER one of your legendary megalomaniacal rants. I swear, you're almost as bad as Doom, or The Red Skull!
Zig
Not too sore, are you?
- Joined
- Feb 26, 2016
- Messages
- 340
Comparing Magneto to Red Skull is a good way to find yourself dead.
Stsword
Versed in the lewd.
- Joined
- Aug 7, 2017
- Messages
- 1,964
And from previous marvel snippets Zoat seems to find Magneto's whole "I'm not going into a concentration camp again" rather sympathetic as a motivation.
So a Paul would be more likely to try to get Maggy to devote his energy into something worthwhile than splatter his guts across the lawn.
Bramble Thorn
Verified Silhouette
- Joined
- Dec 9, 2015
- Messages
- 774
Don't do that. Now that you got me invested, I want to finish it. It just I'd rather it be all at together. Because it seem like all the snippets are adding up to an episode about Krono diplomancing the fall of the Legion as a superpower.
Darko
Connoisseur.
- Joined
- Nov 20, 2019
- Messages
- 23,244
Like the Avengers one who's helping him destroy Sublime.
Fallin (part 7)
Mr Zoat
Dedicated ragequitter
- Joined
- Dec 1, 2016
- Messages
- 17,967
29th May 2282
14:43 MTZ
**[A mutant in heavy metal plate armour, spikes on his shoulders and a cybernetic replacing his right eye.]**
I nod. "Attis."
**[A force of Brotherhood of Steel paladins attacking a mutant force… Underground somewhere? They're gradually forced back and I see their leader get struck down. His helmet gets torn off and-.]**
"No, that… Didn't happen. Rhombus beat Attis. He retired to be a farmer. The Texans have a memorial where he's buried."
**Yes.**
**[An elderly Rhombus guiding a plough behind a pair of brahmin.]**
**[Attis taking a volley of gauss gun shots to the left arm and chest and being forced to retreat. Shale takes command, but the charge against Brotherhood lines fails a little while later.]**
"I… Don't know if that was exactly what happened, but it seems more correct than the first version."
**[Attis falls to his knees, the flesh of his body expanding to fill an entire arena.]**
"Ah… I think we'd have noticed-."
**Something changed.**
"I don't think you can change something that didn't happen." I frown. "Unle-. Time travel?"
**I don't know. We don't know.**
I wince as her voice changes, getting an… Echoey quality, with the echoes coming from different voices. The.. only thing I've heard like it was the way Crimson Acolyte psychics could speak in unison, but… But the voices here are far more human.
"You're seeing different things and some of them didn't happen." I shake my head. "Could it be that the super mutants have their own psychic disrupting what you see? My people haven't really studied prognostication in the same way we have other psychic phenomena."
**[An image of a ghoul-inhabited city-. Los, I know it all too well. Super mutants patrol the streets while the cloak-shrouded ghouls try to avoid drawing their attention.]**
"Okay, but is that what's actually happening or what didn't happen?"
**We don't know!**
Augh!
**[Hundreds of people suspended off the ground in a cavernous room, tubes and wires connecting them to the floor and ground. All of them shouting the same words!]**
I glare at the First Chorister.
**Don't do that. I can't absorb the shock without a network and I don't have one here.**
**I am sorry but we grow frustrated! Things are not as we see them!**
I…
I turn to Dr. Saunooke.
"Do they have access to the outside world without their psychic powers?"
He shakes his head. "We haven't found a way to safely disconnect them. Their bodies just.. aren't used to doing things for themselves anymore."
Which is… Fixable. Probably not here, but Vault City could fix it and so could I if we were back in Groom Lake.
"Can you get a television in here?"
"Not down here, no. This part of the facility is shielded against radiation, which includes radio waves."
"Okay, no live broadcasts, but could you play tapes?"
"Holotapes?"
Yes, because instead of inventing CDs like back home or crystal rods like we use in Groom Lake, the people of this Earth invented a sort of ultra-high density laser readable magnetic tape for improved data storage. The first time I saw one it look me back to the long car journeys my family took during holidays to visit relatives, where my sister and I put our personal tape players on at the start and only took them off to ask for replacement batteries.
"A cellulose reel would be fine if you've got any. The lack of variety is making them obsess over their psychic visions. I-." I turn to Mr. Entertainment. "You haven't reinvented cable television, have you? I'm pretty sure that my people can work out how to manufacture fibre optic cables."
He shakes his head, his mood genuinely becoming more sombre for the first time since I met him.
"No can do. Twenty third century America is nothing like stable enough for that kinda infrastructure project. And without infrastructure, there's no demand."
I nod. Like electric cars: without charge points no one will buy them, and without electric cars to use them no one will build charge points.
"But we can get a cinescreen down here in a couple of days, if the doc thinks that'll help the Choir." He brightens up slightly. "Heck, my singing voice might be a little rusty, but I wouldn't be much of a Tubehead if I couldn't set up an impromptu solo performance."
"Thank you." Okay. **First Chorister, do you have any visions of the inside of Los that don't contradict what we know about history?**
**[A miserable looking Shale standing in front of a computer terminal.]**
**That's plausible, but I don't see-.**
**[A vat of cancerous flash PAIN-.]**
I stagger back, clasping my head in a hopeless attempt to block out the agony! I keep-. Trying to tell myself that these visions shouldn't involve telepathic contact as they're not happening now, but so far my brain… Really hasn't gotten the message.
**Okay, now, this time, don't show me. Just tell me.**
**It is easier to show-.**
**It's really not.**
**There are great vats under the city. The same substance that the researchers injected into us.**
I nod. **FEV can induce telepathic abilities.**
**Shale vanishes. The remains of Attis vanish. The machine vanishes. Something appears that we cannot clearly see.**
I don't want to know. But I need to.
**Show me what you can.**
…king up.
Uh?
I blink-. Hospital, I'm in a… Hospital? I'm an FEV enhancile, I should-.
I push myself up and Dr. Saunooke tries to push me back down. He's not strong enough to force me, but now I'm… I'm still in the Watonga Correctional Facility. Okay.
"What happened?"
"I-I don't know. You and the First Chorister were just staring at each other, then your-. Your eyes and ears started bleeding and you fell over. I was-. I wasn't sure that you would recover."
"How long?"
"Maybe an hour?"
I nod. "The First Chorister tried to show me what we're going to have to face. I…"
Screaming. Lots of screaming. And a… Chest with a mouth in it and tentacles all around…
"I think we might need to rethink our priorities."
14:43 MTZ
**[A mutant in heavy metal plate armour, spikes on his shoulders and a cybernetic replacing his right eye.]**
I nod. "Attis."
**[A force of Brotherhood of Steel paladins attacking a mutant force… Underground somewhere? They're gradually forced back and I see their leader get struck down. His helmet gets torn off and-.]**
"No, that… Didn't happen. Rhombus beat Attis. He retired to be a farmer. The Texans have a memorial where he's buried."
**Yes.**
**[An elderly Rhombus guiding a plough behind a pair of brahmin.]**
**[Attis taking a volley of gauss gun shots to the left arm and chest and being forced to retreat. Shale takes command, but the charge against Brotherhood lines fails a little while later.]**
"I… Don't know if that was exactly what happened, but it seems more correct than the first version."
**[Attis falls to his knees, the flesh of his body expanding to fill an entire arena.]**
"Ah… I think we'd have noticed-."
**Something changed.**
"I don't think you can change something that didn't happen." I frown. "Unle-. Time travel?"
**I don't know. We don't know.**
I wince as her voice changes, getting an… Echoey quality, with the echoes coming from different voices. The.. only thing I've heard like it was the way Crimson Acolyte psychics could speak in unison, but… But the voices here are far more human.
"You're seeing different things and some of them didn't happen." I shake my head. "Could it be that the super mutants have their own psychic disrupting what you see? My people haven't really studied prognostication in the same way we have other psychic phenomena."
**[An image of a ghoul-inhabited city-. Los, I know it all too well. Super mutants patrol the streets while the cloak-shrouded ghouls try to avoid drawing their attention.]**
"Okay, but is that what's actually happening or what didn't happen?"
**We don't know!**
Augh!
**[Hundreds of people suspended off the ground in a cavernous room, tubes and wires connecting them to the floor and ground. All of them shouting the same words!]**
I glare at the First Chorister.
**Don't do that. I can't absorb the shock without a network and I don't have one here.**
**I am sorry but we grow frustrated! Things are not as we see them!**
I…
I turn to Dr. Saunooke.
"Do they have access to the outside world without their psychic powers?"
He shakes his head. "We haven't found a way to safely disconnect them. Their bodies just.. aren't used to doing things for themselves anymore."
Which is… Fixable. Probably not here, but Vault City could fix it and so could I if we were back in Groom Lake.
"Can you get a television in here?"
"Not down here, no. This part of the facility is shielded against radiation, which includes radio waves."
"Okay, no live broadcasts, but could you play tapes?"
"Holotapes?"
Yes, because instead of inventing CDs like back home or crystal rods like we use in Groom Lake, the people of this Earth invented a sort of ultra-high density laser readable magnetic tape for improved data storage. The first time I saw one it look me back to the long car journeys my family took during holidays to visit relatives, where my sister and I put our personal tape players on at the start and only took them off to ask for replacement batteries.
"A cellulose reel would be fine if you've got any. The lack of variety is making them obsess over their psychic visions. I-." I turn to Mr. Entertainment. "You haven't reinvented cable television, have you? I'm pretty sure that my people can work out how to manufacture fibre optic cables."
He shakes his head, his mood genuinely becoming more sombre for the first time since I met him.
"No can do. Twenty third century America is nothing like stable enough for that kinda infrastructure project. And without infrastructure, there's no demand."
I nod. Like electric cars: without charge points no one will buy them, and without electric cars to use them no one will build charge points.
"But we can get a cinescreen down here in a couple of days, if the doc thinks that'll help the Choir." He brightens up slightly. "Heck, my singing voice might be a little rusty, but I wouldn't be much of a Tubehead if I couldn't set up an impromptu solo performance."
"Thank you." Okay. **First Chorister, do you have any visions of the inside of Los that don't contradict what we know about history?**
**[A miserable looking Shale standing in front of a computer terminal.]**
**That's plausible, but I don't see-.**
**[A vat of cancerous flash PAIN-.]**
I stagger back, clasping my head in a hopeless attempt to block out the agony! I keep-. Trying to tell myself that these visions shouldn't involve telepathic contact as they're not happening now, but so far my brain… Really hasn't gotten the message.
**Okay, now, this time, don't show me. Just tell me.**
**It is easier to show-.**
**It's really not.**
**There are great vats under the city. The same substance that the researchers injected into us.**
I nod. **FEV can induce telepathic abilities.**
**Shale vanishes. The remains of Attis vanish. The machine vanishes. Something appears that we cannot clearly see.**
I don't want to know. But I need to.
**Show me what you can.**
…king up.
Uh?
I blink-. Hospital, I'm in a… Hospital? I'm an FEV enhancile, I should-.
I push myself up and Dr. Saunooke tries to push me back down. He's not strong enough to force me, but now I'm… I'm still in the Watonga Correctional Facility. Okay.
"What happened?"
"I-I don't know. You and the First Chorister were just staring at each other, then your-. Your eyes and ears started bleeding and you fell over. I was-. I wasn't sure that you would recover."
"How long?"
"Maybe an hour?"
I nod. "The First Chorister tried to show me what we're going to have to face. I…"
Screaming. Lots of screaming. And a… Chest with a mouth in it and tentacles all around…
"I think we might need to rethink our priorities."
Last edited: