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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
     
  2. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    And around Grayven-16, it was presumably a good idea to be cautious... At any rate, infiltration gets so much easier then you have ludicrously powerful mind-control on tap, eh? Saves on making a clipboard and hard-hat. :D

    Yeah, I foresee him keeping her close at hand for the next few days, after that close call.

    After all, you're embarrassing her in front of the nominally hostile lizard people. She is still a preteen, after all.

    ...Yeah, that about sums up the Renegade's approach to leadership. "Don't be stupid, don't be evil, and don't make me come over there."

    And you do kind of need a successor, even if you don't plan on dying anytime soon.

    To be fair, he'd probably feel a punch there more than anywhere else on his body. Yay for Venombuster durability reinforced by New Godhood.

    ...yeah, not gonna say anything, that'd be far too close to Rule 8...

    And charge quite a pretty penny for it, given the budgets involved.

    So, installing actual control stations instead of magical psychic terminals, for example...

    Yeah, not a smart idea, Renegade. You haven't really Conquered this ship, after all. Also, that's a sweet video.

    Presumably, a troop transport is well down the list of noteworthy vessel in the fleet.

    No-one of importance, of course.

    To be fair, if all three of you are out of action, I suspect things are so bad off that fourth in line is whoever's left alive...

    Not that he'd trust them with any real power any further than he could spit them (since he's super-strong, throwing them would be too easy, after all.)

    Basically, his Ego got in the way. It's all about him, after all.

    Ah, still trying to hold to the lie. Not unreasonable, given they're deep in Grayven's territory, and he could probably be watching them, if he could be bothered.

    Let's not overcomplicate things here. You really think Mr 'All shall bow before my Ego and worship' could be that crafty?

    As awkward questions go, that probably ranks up alongside 'where did I come from?' from a normal child... Not that Lynne needs to ask that. She's probably well aware of it, given her telepathic talents and proper education.

    Not exactly a natural 20 on your Dodge roll there, Renegade.

    Doubt you'd be that lucky. I expect they'll be given destinations once they exit the ship and are safely through their Boom Tubes (assuming they'll be deployed that way.)

    And they're probably well aware that asking questions is a good way to get themselves tortured to death. So naturally they avoid being curious.

    Since he's been out of contact for easily an hour. Definitely be in need of updated strategic intel.

    Either he intends to turn up at a dramatically appropriate moment, or they're a distraction.

    Surprisingly cheerful for the middle of an invasion, aren't they? That British stiff upper lip and all that...

    ...Are you being literal right now, Oswin? Because the conjunction of 'moving planets' and an 'Orrery' is not painting a good picture of Grayven's plans.

    And thus, the likeliest location of some ancient magical artifact? Oh, this bode ill...

    Well, looks like things are going well...

    Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Even if Grayven isn't looking to turn Vega into a mobile battleship like that, anything named simply 'The Orrery', capital letters included, can't be good. Let's hope that the Renegade can head him off at the pass and prevent him from going full ham on this... At least the Renegade will have some measure of surprise in their next encounter.
     
  3. ZzzSlothzzZ

    ZzzSlothzzZ The Giver of warm hugs

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    :eek:
    As someone who usually reads QQ on their phone, I am used to avoiding orange text because of links. Reading an orange lantern story makes this slightly more of an exersize
    but now invisilinks.

    Mr Zoat you truely have become Apokolyptan.:p

    Edit:Cool video though
     
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2021
  4. DrThoth

    DrThoth I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    I'm a bit surprised Grayven doesn't have a Fatherbox, actually. Though I suppose he wouldn't want something ultimately loyal to Darkseid over him.

    Where's the mind-controlling Left Eye of Zoltec? Does Lynne or Renegade also have it? I think I remember Willoughby using it but not sure about that.

    Renegade is the one thinking about using the waters of Lethe on Astarte, but I'm wondering if the water can be weaponized to disorient or neutralize foes, even in space where there's no background magic field (the Eye of Zoltec and the Lasso seem to work fine). Paragon could theoretically get a bunch thanks to his positive relationship with Hades. Maybe it could help mess up Scarabs so they get de-programmed from self-destructing and can be captured and studied. I wonder if it would work on Darkseid.
     
  5. Old Knife

    Old Knife Not too sore, are you?

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    BECOME THE GREATEST MOST POWERFUL STREAMER/YOUTUBER IN THE UNIVERSE!

    Speaking of which,
    New god of Tyranny > New go of Conquest > New god(ess) of Management?
     
  6. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    DEATH TO THE MIDGET COMPUTERS!
     
  7. ZzzSlothzzZ

    ZzzSlothzzZ The Giver of warm hugs

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    Fanfiction Author? Jus sayin'
    Noone in particulair in mind.
    Mr.Zoat

    And to that i say.

    A masksed man stands on a rocky outcrop.
    His cape caught by the wind, he draws his sword and levels it at his enemy.

    "To the fight, My Friends"!FOR GREAT JUSTICE!

    As a thousand smartphones swarm over a lone titan.

    "What you lack in size, you make up in numbers."
    #ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US#

    Until all that can be seen of this great evil is a single hand reaching towards the heavens

    We shall crush him with the weight of our dead!
    #Wait, what#

    For in the gallant heros' other hand,
    a remote, and in its center a comically oversized red button. &LITHIUM-ION DESTRUCT&
    As their batteries combust in a thousand tiny explosions#Somebody set up us the bomb#

    But seriously, just doing the formating for this was a pain in the arse.DEATH TO MIDGET COMPUTERS
    I've seen authors who post all the time from their phonesKill this insanity before it spreads
     
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2021
  8. DrThoth

    DrThoth I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Can any orange power ring user learn to consume magic (within a practical amount of time) or do you have to be enlightened? Because it seems like a useful ability against enemy New Gods, and Renegade should experiment more with using his rings in conjunction with his metaphysical abilities, like when he bypassed (or destroyed, I forget which) scry wards.
     
  9. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    I don't think you need to be enlightened, but isn't an instinctive ability of the ring.
     
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  10. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Yes. One of them was E.L. James. I think we should all learn from her example and BURN THE ACCURSED THINGS.
     
  11. ZzzSlothzzZ

    ZzzSlothzzZ The Giver of warm hugs

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    Yeah, was going to Zoat it up with the emotional spectrum all pretty like, death to midget computers then i realised that ive got another cheeky omake/reply death to midget computers to another author open in another tab on my phone unposted and I was like "for fu-DEATH TO MIDGET COMPUTERS -sake."

    Wait what?

    so my attack of the midget machines just has godspeak.

    on an entirely unrelated note i just saw a story on samsung's gameboy sp next phone.
    You may have won me over Mr.Zoat
     
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  12. Coda

    Coda Versed in the lewd.

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    *headscratch* What's the story with "Kranaltine" and "Karaltine"? A Google search only makes me more confused.
     
  13. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    The second one is me missing a letter, and it you'll let me know where you found it then I'll correct it. As for the first... Um, Google harder?
     
  14. Coda

    Coda Versed in the lewd.

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    I Googled hard enough to see that it's spelled both ways on that very page! That's exactly why I'm unsure if there's more to it. Is one a misspelling, or are they different planets with similar names? Is the wiki there just wrong? Was it used both ways in the comic?

    But as for where you've used it yourself in the past:
     
  15. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Weird. Thank you, corrected.
     
  16. Doccer

    Doccer I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    This
     
  17. Coda

    Coda Versed in the lewd.

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    No, that's correct.
     
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  18. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    Found 22 old errors for Tamaranean.
    Might continue to check the rest of the story only after this.
     
  19. Threadmarks: Veganism (part 20)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    1st September 2012
    16:00 GMT

    Open, We Command You. / **Open, We Command You.**
    This generation of Apokoliptian warship uses individual deployment chutes for its small craft, so making the thing go was just a matter of boarding and then forcing the ship's… Metaphysique, to think for a few moments that I'm actually Grayven.

    And as the dropship we're in shoots out of the mothership I smile at our success, all the while waiting for the moment when we get far enough away that I can start using my own New God technology because I think I'm going to need it to get to wherever Grayven ended up in time to…

    I get a good look at local space, and it doesn't look good.

    Destroyers and cruisers are flying in Kranaltine's skies, and I mean its skies and not low orbit. There are occupation fleets drifting around each of the major settlements and a few more ready to act as reserves. A smaller number of large ships remain outside of the gravity well, and from the flashes of light I don't think that the engagement is going well for whatever ships the local defenders have left.

    Flashes pass overhead as Grayven's flagship lends the attackers its aid. Blasters. With that number, it would be…

    Oh. A fully reconditioned Apokoliptian dreadnaught. The hyper blaster on the front would destroy anything in the defensive fleet. This is…

    I mean, on the plus side, the fleet engagement here is already lost, we're not getting hit because we're showing a friendly signal and profile and we're not wasting further resources against a ship that we couldn't beat. And since Grayven doesn't have any other New Gods with him, if I win this there's a good chance I'll be able to keep the ship. Which would be nice, but probably won't actually let me beat anyone I actually need to beat…
    And then it's like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.
    "Grayven to Karras."

    "Karras here, my lord. What news?"

    "He's hit Kranaltine. Link up with the nearest Imperial fleet and prepare to jump in. Do not do so until I take possession of their dreadnaught or it will wipe you out."

    "Understood. Karras out."

    "Grayven to Artemis."

    "Hey. I think Diana's on her third speech."

    "You know where Kranaltine is?"

    "Yea-? That's where he went? Why?"

    "Ancient artefact called The Orrery. He's using it to control planetoids within the Vega Systems. Someone hid it here and Grayven already knows it's-."

    "I'll come look." "On the hunt."

    "Thanks, but don't fight Grayven. If I don't overcome him myself we might not be able to turn it off."

    "Right."

    Okay. Ring, access historical-.

    My vision goes gold as a tremendous energy blast rips through-

    Armour!

    -the dropship, cutting through one side of the hull and out of the other! Who just-? Through the open hull of the dropship I see a figure; blue costume with a yellow star on the chest, carrying a wooden shepherd's crook. Prince Gavyn. Starman.

    He briefly makes eye contact with me through his goggles-. Yes, of course. He's too small and agile for them to track accurately with anti-air fire, but at this point the rest of their military would be neutralised-.

    "Starman! Hold-."

    Another bolt of golden energy slams into my shield as Lynne grabs a space helmet. We're just about inside the atmosphere, but I wouldn't want to try breathing normally up here.

    "You're shooting the wrong Grayven!"

    "Am I?" He flies closer as the wreckage of our dropship hurtles towards the planet. "You said he was coming for you!"

    "He's here for something called The Orrery, and a few minutes ago was the first time I heard of it. Vega's-"

    I take an updated map from the Orange Lantern Corps' network, showing the changing position-. Shit. Four suns have already been slammed into one another, and Liot'r is moving towards a nearby blue giant. Orange Lanterns on-site appear to be dealing with the side effects, but it's going to take a lot of work to make Vega shipshape again.

    I conjure a construct to demonstrate.

    "-being torn apart. I've got a fleet coming in and I'm pretty sure that I can take Grayven myself, but if we don't find where he is now it's going to be a pretty quiet victory feast. Does Kranaltine have any ancient ruins or archaeological sites?" "Help me help you."

    "It…" He's not happy, but he drifts closer with a thoughtful expression on his face. "There are a few such sites. Mine isn't the first species to settle this world. But… They've been gone over a thousand times by archaeologists. There's nothing else there now but rubble."

    That fits the profile, but…

    "No one location stands out?"

    "I'm not an archaeologist."

    Yeah, that's fair. The dropship starts burning around us, so Lynne triggers her aero-discs while I use my ring's flight function, letting it tumble towards the planet's surface without us.

    Okay.

    I narrow my eyes and try to feel where his influence is spreading. Ships, no… What is he claiming? Where are his weapons?

    Agh, no good. He's claiming this entire world; a shallow but all-encompassing claim which makes it all a part of him-.

    "Gavyn, where's the queen?"

    He doesn't answer.

    "Gavyn, he and I are gods of conquest. He's defeated your military. If the queen orders the world to cooperate until a relief force arrives, if he completes his conquest of this world, his powers get stronger."

    "In a sealed bunker under the capital. Even Grayven's forces will take time to get through five different types of force fields and about two miles of granite."

    "Can you talk to them and make sure she's still there?"

    He nods and raises his staff. A moment later an illusory image of… A fortified room filled with corpses, appears.

    "Not boom tube proof. Sorry. Does she have a tracking implant?"

    Gavyn twitches as he dismisses the image. "No."

    Okay, this is… I can use my powers to feel Lynne's location and Artemis's rough location, but that's because we're spiritually connected. Grayven and I aren't, we're just similar. Would that work?

    One way to find out.

    Feel The Flow Of Authority.

    Come on you literal bastard.

    Many Kings Spoil The Realm.

    I know you're the sort who will want me to know that I've failed before you kill me, and if I can't find you then you'll never have that satisfaction.

    Throw Down The Gauntlet.

    BOOM!

    Pick Up the Gauntlet.

    Hu-?

    "Daddy!"

    The boom tube snaps shut behin-.

    Duh!
     
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2021
  20. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    Some Godspeech aplenty.
     
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2021
  21. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Welp, Vega is fucked.

    Probably even more than it was previously.

    He's pissed that his civilization is basically crippled and seeing as he may not be able to find Actually Grayven, he's settled on the copy.

    Well it's a way to get the Citizenry to do what she wants.
     
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  22. Sockmonkey

    Sockmonkey I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Slightly confused by that last bit.
     
  23. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    This bit of Godspeech was Grayven's. He responded to the Renegade's challenge and boom tubed him away from Lynne and Starman.
     
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  24. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    Heh, that's one way to break the lock and hotwire it: Flexing your Ego. And now you can get out of the bizarre interdiction zone Grayven laid down. Presumably he's smothering all Boom Tube activity besides his own...

    Ah. Not going well for the defenders, eh? Even with the Renegade's aid, I can't see it working well against a blitzkrieg like this.

    So, Kranaltine is basically lost unless the Renegade can decapitate Grayven's forces. Ideally by decapitating Grayven himself... :D

    At least he's out of Grayven's controlled territory. He'll be able to flex his own management powers.

    Yup. Because a planet-killer weapon does a real number on anything smaller. With a well-aimed shot, he could wipe the entire fleet in one shot...

    Whatever floats her boat. I hope that's simply a way to get anyone likely to rebel against her to snap and come at her... But knowing Diana, she probably figures she can talk the Citizenry into changing their ways... And will probably succeed.

    Good as confirmed, then. Kranaltine, for the record. Throneworld of the Crown Imperium, and even without the artefact, Grayven could claim rulership of said Imperium by taking it...

    Last thing you want is some ancient device running out of control. Much nicer to be able to take it for yourself.

    Oh, hell, one of the defenders taking an attack of opportunity? Because they aren't broadcasting any friendly IFF, after all.

    :eek: Damn lucky that didn't hit you or Lynne.

    Oh, boy! A 'Let's you and him fight' meetup! When's the last time that happened?

    To be fair, this whole situation does look like you screwed the pooch hard, Renegade.

    The benefits of making a typical protagonist's assumption that everything revolves around you, Renegade. The whole defence is stuck working off that assumption.

    Yeah, you're really going to want to take it intact, then, if only to stabilise the Sector... Because short of pressing some Controllers into the field, fixing displaced stars is a bit out of a New God's wheelhouse.

    Then presumably those archaeologists didn't dig deep enough.

    Crud. And short of trying to puzzle out where it is by gordanian troop movements or poking Grayven, there's no leads.

    I like that. He's so busy thinking, he barely notices his ship falling apart around him... Goes to show how important this is...

    And I'm just picturing his seeing a big middle finger courtesy of Grayven: Go Fuck Yourself, Imposter..

    And you do not want him getting stronger. It's likely that if he hits a certain threshold, the entire Imperium will start kneeling to him by default...

    Because, you know, New God, Gavyn... Why try to break through the walls when you can just...

    ...Go around them. I doubt she's amongst the dead, though. She's more valuable alive.

    Similar enough that your existence is probably like an itch under his soul. You don't feel it because your soul is welded together from Human, New God and Avarice...

    Though you technically have no real authority here, Renegade. At best, you're an advisor.

    But tickling his meta-physique like this? That's bound to get a nasty response. I hope you're prepared for it.

    True. Grayven's Ego can't get it up unless he's being acknowledged by all around him as superior...

    Ah, he's taking the bait? Arrogant and foolish. A good combination in a foe...

    :confused: ...I hope he didn't just snag Lynne again. Though at least the Renegade will have a beacon to find her.

    Well, that's what you get for poking the irritable doppelgänger, Renegade. Let's hope this poorly thought-out ploy doesn't end badly for you. And all the while, the gordanian fleet is tearing through your investments. This is becoming quite the pinch... :sneaky: Now, to watch you fumble your way into success.
     
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2021
  25. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    So at this point Renegade has had pretty much everything he's tried to do in Vega destroyed.

    Well... Moral of this story... Don't pretend to be people your not...
     
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  26. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    Technically, only the Crown Imperium got wrecked. There's still a chance the Vega Systems will be somewhat intact.
     
  27. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare Versed in the lewd.

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    So there is just a random artefact that let's you crash suns into each other? Okay then.
     
  28. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    I think it looks like that because he technically did.

    Power rings can do some impressive things, so he may not need the Controllers.

    Or the thing was protected.

    In the comics it was apparently made by some angelic like beings, and I'm guessing if they existed in this story then they're Source powered, thus a New God may have been able to bypass any defences they had.

    Don't forget love and fear, following his Anti Life exposure.
     
  29. Assblaster5000

    Assblaster5000 I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Welcome to comic books.

    And besides, it's still better than The Necron's version.
     
  30. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    Two star's hitting each other equals a Nova...

    The Vega systems already dead, it just doesn't know it yet.
     
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