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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. Someguy Somewhere

    Someguy Somewhere The Critical Fumbler

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    I was more interpreting it as an example of OL getting subtly better with his ring use, doing full colour without any workarounds, rather then as a complaint that it just happened out of the blue.

    But you're the writer, what ever works best in the narrative.
     
  2. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    If I remember correctly, the Renegade thought about what he saw when looking at Diana's soul the only time he ever went to Themyscira. He doesn't know exactly what it meant, but might have had theories. The Word of Zoat is what confirmed it for readers.

    I think Diana uses more of her innate divinity in the Renegade timeline, specifically when she fights her aunt.
     
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  3. Doccer

    Doccer I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Huh. I always thought Golden Age was all the really crazy balls to the wall crazy stuff happened where the creators were still trying to figure out Superheroes and proper power scaling and Silver Age was that but better hammered out with more proper power scaling and more long term expectations. Then whatever the Age is called after that is when the crazy was gone save for special events and power scaling was closer to human norms.
    Like Superman's minimes was about\around the end of Golden Age because the writers couldn't think of a place or state their heroes could go that'd be interesting once they became living "Fuck You I Win Because I Am" buttons.
     
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  4. DrThoth

    DrThoth I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    I only remember Renegade being very interested in Hippolyta's soul-structure in Themyscira, which I think makes more sense; he's had plenty of chances to see Diana's soul in action.

    Besides the Lasso, Diana does only use Godspeech in the Renegade timeline as far as I'm aware, yes.
     
  5. Threadmarks: Future Tense (part 10)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    13th September 2012
    09:11 GMT -5


    "Hey..!"

    Kara is glaring at the man hanging from where her right hand grips his jacket.

    "I didn't do it!"

    "Didn't… Do… What?"

    "Whatever got you pissed off!"

    Okay, he does look quite a lot like Nylor, but the face beneath the beard isn't quite the right shape, the hair's too long, and the DNA and mind state are completely wrong.

    "Supergirl, that's not him."

    She cranes her neck to get a closer look, narrowing her eyes at him as he grins and nods.

    "Are you sure?"

    "Fairly sure. I mean, Mister Williams doesn't even have any outstanding warrants at the moment."

    I'm going to ignore the small packet of dried hallucinogenic plant in his back pocket, because it probably came from Swamp Thing and so is safe in the conventional sense of the term. Puking up your own lungs, no. Profound revelations about the world and your place in it, maybe.

    Kara frowns slightly as she puts him down.

    "Though if you don't mind me asking, Mister Williams, what brings you this far north?"

    "Brazil. Not all-." He straightens his jacket and clears his throat. "All that many people in the US of A know much of anything about magic plants, and I guess my name came up since the big guy wasn't answering. Ah… You know who I am?"

    "I've had the pleasure of meeting Swamp Thing on several occasions. Who exactly called you up?"

    "The Senate Foreign Relations committee. Normally I'd try to avoid the federal government, but I figure that if they hear me out they're less likely to try anything stupid."

    Kara narrows her eyes suspiciously.

    "I can see your brain."

    He shifts awkwardly. "Hey, a guy's gotta live. It's not shilling if all I'm doing is telling the man to stop being the man."

    "No, that sounds entirely legitimate. I'd much rather the US didn't nuke Brazil. Keep up the good work. Supergirl, might I have a moment of your time?"

    "Of course!"

    She turns her head upwards and starts to rise off the ground.

    "But is there something that you'd like to say to Mister Williams first?"

    "Oh." She nods. "Yes." She raises her right fist to her mouth. "A-hem."

    She looks directly at him, her expression completely serious.

    "Take a bath, hippy."

    And then she shoots into the air.

    Mister Williams watches her go with his mouth slightly open.

    "What was that about?"

    "I'm sorry, she's.. only just arrived on Earth. You look a little like a man we're looking for, and she mistook you for him. Have a nice day."

    I transition up to where New Kara is staring into the distance, her eyes searching for Nylor Truggs. Or possibly a Republican rally, though I imagine that Senator Knight can win this without her help.

    "Kara, I don't know how you did things on Krypton, but on Earth it's considered impolite to pick people up, insult them and then leave."

    "But he smells weird!"

    Oh. Right. Super smell.

    "I'm afraid that on Earth, 'smelling weird' is not an excuse for treating people like that. I appreciate that super senses can take a little getting used to-."

    She frowns, her eyes moving from the distance to me.

    "You don't smell at all."

    "Environmental shield. No chemicals are leaving my body, and the environmental shield doesn’t interact chemically with the air around me. If I took my rings off I would smell similarly strange to you."

    She wrinkles her nose. "Uuuuuugh."

    "Are you having a problem? I could create some sort of nose shield-."

    "No, I'm okay." She exhales sharply. "I really thought I had him."

    "Nylor hasn't remained at liberty by being easy to detect. Though… How good is your vision?"

    "If I focus really hard, I can see your DNA molecules. But it looks like that means I smell and hear everything, too."

    "Nylor's got a lot of bio-mods from the future. He should be the only person on the planet who does."

    She shrugs. "Yes, but I don't know what they look-." She cuts herself off and points into the distance, perking up at once. "Is that him?"

    Ring?

    "No."

    Her face falls, then perks up again. "Is that him?"

    "No."

    "Darn it! Oh, how about that?"

    "Kara, I appreciate your eagerness, but I don't think this approach is going to work. There are several billion humans on the planet, and-"

    "That one?"

    "-you-. No, and you won't be able to see them all. You can't see through lead or other dense materials, and I wouldn't be surprised if Nylor had some sort of magic disguise by now."

    Below and well behind us, the other Supergirls are catching up.

    "If detecting Nylor was easy, he wouldn't have escaped from the Legion and he wouldn't have dodged the Justice League for so long."

    "But-!" She sags. "Okay. Do you know how we can find him?"

    "If I knew-."

    Hang on.

    "Exactly how good is your hearing?"
     
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2021
  6. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    'hanging'

    Potential ancestor of Truggs.

    And it may have actual enlightening magical properties.

    'asking'

    Trying to convince politicians not to do something stupid?

    Good luck.

    I'm remembering a comic in which Poison Ivy's terraformed island gets destroyed.

    Not that, but yeah, hygiene is important.

    Hmm, maybe 'if it looks'

    This is the funniest thing ever.

    Really wanted him to say 'oh, wait, yeah, that's him'

    A high grade one, seeing as he's working with Circe.

    Ohh, so she can hear his voice.
     
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2021
  7. Bud-E

    Bud-E Stand up so I can push you down!

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    Paul...What are you planning?
     
  8. FreeGod

    FreeGod If you see a God on the road fuck it!

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    Oh right anti eves dropping talismans only work on people that can't see you*. This supergirl however can see and hear everyone.


    *Otherwise they would be useless because then you couldn't talk to anyone.
     
  9. szypty

    szypty Getting some practice in, huh?

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    Congrats Supergirl, you're more of an asshole than an alternative universe Nazi version of yourself.
     
  10. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    She's not that bad, but she does have some issues to work through.
     
  11. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    Oh, it cannot have been that easy. I'm betting he merely looks a little like Truggs. I foresee this plan not working as well as Kara-1 might have hoped...

    Though it appears he has something of a guilty conscience anyway...

    Well, at least OL can keep up with her and check her guesses. And apologise to them if she's wrong.

    Dude, you don't even know who they want. Don't try to bluff them...

    Wait, seriously? Small world, huh? Wonder how many other minor DC personalities she'll spot?

    Given his appearance, I foresee her not liking him on principle. Because apparently Silver Age Krypton had moral standards suspiciously similar to Fifties America... ;)

    Man, that must have been a strange conversation in whatever office made that plan.

    Well, admirable goal. I won't comment on the likelihood of success, but hey, you tried?

    "And there are very peculiar chemicals buzzing around in there..." Seriously, even if he's sober, I bet it's like a fireworks display in there...

    At least he's sanguine about it. I suspect if they did do something drastic, any survivors (such as any Danner-enhanciles outside the blast radii) would do something equally drastic...

    Just itching to get going and battle Evil, huh?

    x3 Good to see she's polite, at least...

    :confused: ...I stand corrected.

    Well, I'm sure she's well aware of the last time you indulged in just about every pharmaceutical entertainment you enjoy. Probably right down to the minute. Super-senses for the... :confused: Eh, not really a win here.

    Geez, the joy of her having old-fashioned values. She's really going to have some trouble fitting in until she adjusts, isn't she?

    Hooray. She'll get used to it, I guess. :rolleyes:

    No, gee, you think? I can't help but imagine that the only thing preventing her from saying something is good manners...

    Especially if he's recently eaten anything off-world. I mean, sure, he can alter his scent without much effort, but how often do you notice the faint odours that surround you?

    Heh. Any nose-clips would have to be damn resilient to withstand Silver Age Kryptonian muscles... One errant flex of the nostrils...

    I mean, in some versions, Kryptonians can see people's life energies... And we know they can perceive wavelengths outside the visible spectrum. X-Ray vision might not be actual X-rays, but it;'s probably close.

    Yeah, but can she be patient enough to spot lookalikes, and then hold back long enough to double-check the DNA?

    I'm impressed it can determine just who she's indicating. Especially if it's beyond normal human visual range.

    Kara, you can't simply keep doing that... It's not like Truggs will be sitting on a beach somewhere getting a tan... At least, wearing his own face...

    ...She's persistent, isn't she? She really does feel younger than she probably is (I'm guessing thirteen or fourteen...)

    Yup. Silver Age Superspeed. Be glad that flying through time isn't immediately intuitive...

    It's almost embarrassing how slippery he is. Guy must have some Eel DNA... :p

    :sneaky: ...Depending on the range, that might kind of work. The Ring does have recordings of his voice, both live and transmitted...

    o_O So, depending on range, you're going to have her fly around the world, just listening for Trugg's voice? I mean, Silver Age Kryptonians are crazy broken OP, but that might be taking it a little far... Then again, Silver Age Superman could hear a mouse fart on the other side of the planet if he focused, so... Not such a crazy plan...


    Double Space.
     
  12. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    They may not survive the radiation.

    And yeah, I can see them either using super strength to do some damage, or using plant magic to harm people, like making plants around the world poisonous to humans.

    He can regenerate lost limbs with nanotechnology, and seeing as he's working with Xirce she may have given him eel characteristics.
     
  13. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
    No, I think that's correct.
    Thank you, corrected.
    Not nanotechnology. Biotechnology.
     
  14. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    Mr Zoat, we need something to differentiate the two Karas. Can they be called Native Kara and Innocent Kara? Or do you have something else in mind?
     
  15. CTrees

    CTrees Chasing the ring

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    New!Kara remains best Kara.

    Though... How does she know what a hippy is?
     
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  16. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    I think someone said that this version got broadcasts from Earth, and that that's the basis of her knowledge of Earth culture. Saying "Take a bath hippie!" was probably in a few of those broadcasts.
     
  17. Khornelius

    Khornelius Overlord of the Underworld

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    As someone with congenital asnosmia, I don’t get the whole smelling thing. But I found this chapter to be funny, new Kara just flying around and accosting anyone and everyone she thinks is Truggs. Ha.
     
  18. Pinklestia

    Pinklestia Well worn.

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    Hearing the vibration the Hero Dial makes?
     
  19. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    No, probably giving her a recording of him talking so she can hear him and track him down by hearing it.
     
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  20. NightmareWarden

    NightmareWarden Versed in the lewd.

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    And if Truggs has anyone within speaking distance, he will be talking.
     
  21. Michael Vonica

    Michael Vonica Know what you're doing yet?

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    I'd assume he'd do the same even at times when there isn't anyone within speaking distance.
     
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  22. transhumansage

    transhumansage Versed in the lewd.

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    source please? seems to be another superman clone....

    i really hope paul gets to meet the main canon DC universe justice league. especially batman. no you know what i also want earth 16 justice league to meet the main league.

    source please?
     
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2021
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  23. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Preus. A kryptonian from Kandor.
     
  24. transhumansage

    transhumansage Versed in the lewd.

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    so if main canon dc got involved in the story would it be prime-earth after the hands rebooted everything?
     
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  25. Kalem_Lee

    Kalem_Lee Well worn.

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    Is this Kara powered by Super-Dickery?
     
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  26. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    It would be after Crisis on Infinite Earths, before Nu52.
     
  27. transhumansage

    transhumansage Versed in the lewd.

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    i honestly wish you had started a fic in the main dc universe instead of earth-16. i think it would have been more awesome with you near encyclopedic knowledge of dc. also everybody is on a higher level in the main stream universe. especially superman. i mean he seems less powerful here.
     
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  28. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    A lot of YJ characters were nerfed compared to their comic selves.
     
    Last edited: Nov 8, 2021
  29. Coda

    Coda Versed in the lewd.

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    I mean, the latter is just a special case of the former.
     
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  30. Threadmarks: Future Tense (part 11)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    13th September 2012
    09:19 GMT -5


    I shrug as another possible number goes to an answering machine.

    "Oh well. It was worth-."

    "Connection made to monitored phone line."

    I raise my eyebrows and Old Kara frowns, unable to believe that it was that simple. New Kara on the other hand closes her eyes completely.

    "Answer."

    "Hey Paul."

    "Good morning, Nylor."

    "How you been?"

    "Gosh, it's been a while, hasn't it?"

    "Lonely. You don't call, you don't write… Not like I gave you a forwarding address."

    "I died again. The Reach managed to get hold of some qwa-matter."

    "Ah, I've heard of that stuff. Pretty powerful. But here you are."

    "Here I am. The war's going in line with expectations; the Reach are being pushed inwards and they're losing Scarabs at a satisfactory rate."

    "Always makes me smile."

    Dana frowns. "Are you..? Two..? Dating?"

    I roll my eyes and shake my head. "Hey, do you remember Dana Dearden?"

    "Heh, 'This is live?' girl?" Dana rolls her eyes. "Yeah, I remember her. Something happen?"

    "Back when we had that problem with Eliminations, Inc. Do you remember some of your memories being… Disjointed?"

    "Enough hits t' the head an' yah get used to it. … I remember. Something happen yah wanna tell me about?"

    "Apparently, we were both briefly guests of the Legion of Superheroes in a patch of time that got erased afterwards. I don't remember it, and I assume that you don’t either."



    "They caught me?"

    "That's what alarms you about it? We had-."

    "I knew they were going t' come for me. Thought I was ready for them."

    "If it helps, Dana told me that you got away from them, so maybe it worked. But this sounds believable to you?"

    "In one of your interviews, you said that orange power rings give people what they want. You also said you had a perfect memory. I could see you calling me up if someone made you forget something. Maybe."

    "The Legion isn't happy with me, either."

    "Are you telling me you actually are a time traveller?"

    "No. And-. Wait, did I ever explain to you that I changed the structure of time so that alternate pasts and futures can exist?"

    "N-. W-? Y-. … How?"

    "Vanishing Point, Krona the ex-Guardian, giant temporal tuning forks. So while your future is still the same, this future can be something different."

    "That-. I need a moment here. Ah, so you're telling me that changing the past doesn't matter, because the present would stay the same, and all you're doing is creating an alternate timeline."

    "I think… Minor things get incorporated, so you could go back and hide something, then return to your original present and find it. But for big things, yes. It's an energy calculation."

    "Okay, that doesn't-. I don’t think it changes what I'm doing. I mean, if we're going to improve humanity's future, it's a good thing we're not erasing a future that already exists to do it, right?"

    "That was my thinking, but apparently Quirrell Dox has got a bit of a thing about us, and-."

    "I'm sorry, who?"

    "Quirrell Dox? Brainiac Five? Formerly leader of the Legion of Superheroes?"

    "His name is 'Querl'. Querl Dox."

    I frown and look at Dana, who takes a moment to notice and then nods.

    "Oh. I must have misremembered."

    New Kara opens her eyes slightly, squinting at me.

    "Making me think I should take back what I said about perfect memory. Or is it only-."

    "Perfect for anything that happened while I was wearing my rings, because-."

    "Because you can't reconstruct a memory that isn't all there, yah?"

    "So if you see any Legion members around the place, let me know and I’ll send them on their way. Also… Bit of a silly thing, but you wouldn't have anything to do with all of the Supergirls, would you?"

    "Ah? Supergirls?"

    "Yes, we've been getting a lot of them and we don't really know why?"

    "Parallel universe Supergirls?"

    "One is, but the rest-"

    New Kara's eyes open wide.

    "Found him."

    "-are other women who happen to use the name."

    There's a rush of displaced air as New Kara disappears, and Angelika activates a Justice League issue computer so that she can track her.

    "What's that got t' do with me?"

    "I'm just trying to eliminate you from my enquiries. I mean, if it's not you then I've got to try and get in touch with Ambush-."

    "Ghk!"

    "Ambush Bug. See you shortly."

    Angelika shows me her screen. "It cannot detect her exact location, but her last known location is here."

    "I'll set up a zeta tube when I arrive."

    I step out

    and reappear… Hm, yes, it's obvious where Kara went. Have to make sure that the road is still structurally sound later. I'm picking up runic patterns and.. novel materials that are disrupting more mundane scans. I accelerate, following Kara's path until I emerge in a… Mad science warehouse, seeing Nylor dangling from Kara's hand.

    "Can I pick him up like this?"
     
    Last edited: Nov 8, 2021
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