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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. Citizen

    Citizen Well worn.

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    He's a good egg.
     
  2. Stsword

    Stsword Versed in the lewd.

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    The implied rule in the comics which is actually proximity.

    They were introducing coming across a Sinestro corpsman and a Green Lantern fighting.

    They chased off the Sinestro corpsman with a giant yellow construct beast and then mercy killed the injured green lantern with a green construct.

    The Indigo tribe seems perfectly capable of emulating another lantern- if there's one in proximity. Stewart was even able to emulate a black lantern and blow up Mogo with a black construct sniper rifle.

    So pretty much the exact opposite of how Zoat has them here.

    And Sur created the Indigo Tribe as an anti-Guardian force. He was distressed by how sociopathic they sometimes acted and helped create the Indigo Tribesman with the intention of forcing them to feel empathy if they ever crossed the line.

    So the whole "recruit people by forcing them to feel empathy" thing that was mentioned? The Guardians were the intended targets.
     
  3. SpiritualSlacker

    SpiritualSlacker Nurse God of Mischief

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    If I remember correctly, the particular weirdo Maltusian Paul talked to about helping out with making a red power ring actually hung around on planet Tulsa, and not on Maltus. So I think this is correct.
     
  4. Duke Long

    Duke Long Glomerulus

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    ’and are ready’?
     
  5. Lord Ernest

    Lord Ernest At the End...

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    Isn't the moon called Turi?
     
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  6. Rafin

    Rafin Not too sore, are you?

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    If Dar isn't a lower title then this should still be Dal.
    effect
    Either missing a word or a comma somewhere.
    Dal
     
  7. JeanEricVillon

    JeanEricVillon Getting out there.

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    Effect.
     
  8. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    No, it's Turi. Thank you, corrected.
    That was really more of a 'mercy' kill. It would have been easy enough for them to heal him.
    'We can do all the lights' just seemed a bit OP.
    And that seemed a bit 'the Guardians are evil'.
    Thank you, corrected.
     
  9. Dur'id the Druid

    Dur'id the Druid Know what you're doing yet?

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    I don't think it's vacant, it's just that the Endless became a hippy and is doing his best to subvert it.

    Picture
     
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  10. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Orion can be pretty destructive, but Destruction is far more than wrecking stuff.
     
  11. Steelplaza

    Steelplaza Custom Title

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    (claps) Way too many depictions of Orion overlook this aspect. Is this heroic ideal natural to Orion or is it the desire to make himself to the anti-thesis to everything Darkseid? Does it matter? I'm sure the miner won't care the motivation.
     
  12. 0zymandias

    0zymandias Making the rounds.

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    What more was there to Destruction than wrecking stuff?
     
  13. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Entropy. Solar fusion.
     
  14. Ardy

    Ardy I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Art critics destroying dreams

    Negging destroying relationships

    Time destroying cheese by letting mold grow too long and ruining the flavor
     
  15. AmericanNumbers

    AmericanNumbers Not too sore, are you?

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    Agree. It was more the idea of Orion being close to anger enlightment and being more stable in this universe.
     
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  16. Stsword

    Stsword Versed in the lewd.

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    I wasn't complaining there, just in case you thought my typing conveyed a disapproving tone.
     
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  17. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    *looks at all the new powers you have invented for orange rings*

    And that matters to you why?
     
  18. Prince Charon

    Prince Charon Just zis guy, you know?

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    Huh. The Indigo Tribe succeeding in that could be an interesting AU. Probably not this thread, though.
     
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  19. Threadmarks: Butcher's Blood (part 14)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    21st January 2013
    11:44 GMT


    "Okay, so I don't know exactly how this is going to work, or what it will feel like to you."

    Ping.

    "I am familiar with rage." His full attention is focused on the caged berserker in front of us. "That was why you asked for me."

    "True, but I don't know if that makes it better or worse. So I'm going to move it to you, and if you can't cope, tell me and I'll reverse-."

    "Do not insult me by completing that offer." He takes his helmet off, and I'm struck by how… Normal he looks. Aside from the heavy brow and helmet-hair, I don't think I'd look at him twice if I passed him in the street. "Begin at once."

    Ping.

    "Alright. One moment."

    We look at the madman, the angry red coils still burrowed around his desire-strands. We look at Orion, his…

    "Orion, we need you to reduce your defences against external interference. While we respect your caution, we are deliberately attempting to-."

    "I understand."

    Ping.

    And now we have a.. better look. It's a bit more complicated than a human's network, but the largest thing is that some desires… They look like they're… External? Connected to things I can't see inside and outside of his own psyche. I guess that's to do with however New God powers work.

    We reach into the miner's psyche, towards the red strands. And then we call upon Orion's desire to remove the strands from their current host, using that to link the two psyches together. To begin with, the movement is slow, the strands almost reluctant to leave their current home. But then-.

    Father.

    Then they see something that makes them feel a part of something greater than themselves.

    We wince as elemental rage and hate flow past us, from the miner and into Orion, where it seems to… Hesitate, as if not quite knowing what it's supposed to do or where it's supposed to go. We're anthropomorphising again. Then we see the moment where it… Collects itself and then spreads outwards, grasping at the network-

    "Uh."

    Ping.

    -before being pulled in, lining up with structures that are already there. We wait a moment, but nothing else appears to be happening on Orion's end. On the miner's end, we see… The desires are frayed, awareness only moving sluggishly around the network. But we have access to the Honden, and as such we can easily recall what should be there and restore it.

    And back in the room. Orion's put his helmet back on, but otherwise seems to be managing perfectly well.

    Ping.

    "What… What's happening?"

    The miner doesn't know what's going on, but that's hardly unreasonable.

    "Why am I-?" His hands find the collar and his eyes widen in terrified shock. "I'm not-. But I'm not-."

    "You were, but we found a way to fix that. Now, I'm afraid that we'll need the chief warden to check you over before we can release you, but you should be returned to the bosom of your family by the end of the day."

    "Really?"

    "One moment." I step out of the cell. "Warden! We appear to have had a success!"

    "You do?"

    He strides over, walking into the cell and staring at the inmate.

    "Kellen? Are you back with us?"

    Kellen the Miner nods. "I didn't know.. I'd been gone. I just.. remember getting annoyed about Tullan dropping his pick, and then…" He shakes his head, his gaze growing distant for a moment before snapping back. "Then… Then a blur, and I was here. How.. long..?"

    "Half a year."

    "That's… That's a relief, actually. I don't know what I'd have done if it'd been years. My… My family?"

    "All well, as far as I know. We had a… Well, a volcano erupted, but that's been taken care of and all of the farms should be alright."

    "Taken… Care..?"

    He looks me over.

    "Oh. Right. Ah. How?"

    "I transferred the rage into Orion."

    Who's put his helmet back on and is looking… Tense.

    "Orion? I ask this because of our fellowship and not because I doubt your capacities, but-."

    "I'm fine. Take me to the next."

    "They've been here for months already. If it would-."

    "I said, that I'm fine."

    Ping.

    "Alright. Warden, could you please take us to whoever's been here longest?"

    "Aye, I can. Think calming thoughts, Kellen. We'll have the Dar's physician check you over, and then you'll be out."

    Kellen steps away from the bars and sits on the cage's bench, trying to centre himself.

    "Orion, I think-"

    "How many times-?"

    "-I can speed it up so we can do multiple at once. From what I could see of your network you should be able to absorb that much, but I leave the decision up to you."

    "Do it."

    "Alright. You'll need to remove your helmet again."

    His jaw tightens, but he removes his helmet. He doesn't exactly look well, but his eyes are his own and the anger he feels appears to be focused.

    We look deeper, and the red light he absorbed appears to be accreting around rage that he already feels. We suppose that makes sense; perhaps the issue that the locals have is that they're not as accustomed to rage as he is.

    We look around, form a connection of need to each of the inmates and pull.
     
    Last edited: Mar 26, 2023
  20. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Were you expecting him o look a bit like his nio dad?

    Honestly even Darkseid looked normal once, but his appearance partially changed when he desired to make people more intimidated by him.

    Orion doesn't want that and does not want to have anything to do with that ugly statue.

    It may also be Mother Box's connection to him.

    This..does not look good.
     
  21. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    "Only one way to see what happens, sweetie." Well, that's true. Orion may be accustomed to his Rage. But there's a difference between the rage of a single man, even a New God, and the leavings of the primal incarnation of the Universe's Fury.

    He might soak it up like a sponge. Or it'll flow right in, and then right out of him and into someone else, like water across a hydrophobic coating.

    "Don't mind him, sweetie. All this anger around here's getting him a little... Well..."

    ...And his metaphysique's locked down like a fortress, isn't it? Logical enough, given the dangers of New God memetic warfare...

    "Opening a door now, dear. Be quick, this isn't exactly easy, if you please."

    Ah, an interesting chance for him to get a look at the Godhead, eh? That little fragment of the Source that binds to them when they take their Godname...

    Heh. Baiting the infection with a bigger, juicier Hate.

    Like pouring water into a piping system. Except that the pipes are see-through, and the water is neon red...

    "Oh, my. That's... A peculiar sensation, isn't it, dear?"

    And it looks like the infection did some damage to the host, eh? Just like a cancer, indeed.

    "Well, that went better than expected. Shouldn't be too much trouble for us."

    So, the Rage poison effectively blocks all thought and memory in the victim, then...

    And won't that come as a shock to them, I wonder? Still, at least they won't be the only family getting a loved one back... Not if OL or Orion have any say in the matter.

    Don't sound too pleased with yourself, OL. That's one person. It remains to be seen how well Orion handles the rest.

    I'm guessing he didn't hold out much hope, eh?

    So, that moment of anger did open him up to the poison. With any luck, he remembers where, to give them a starting point on narrowing down the source.

    Yeah, imagine that culture shock. It may still happen with some of the older cases...

    ...Lantern. :p Sure, wrong colour, but honestly, no-one's arguing about that part.

    Yeah, having a glowing fellow who's obviously not local either screams 'Lantern'... Or 'Alien God.'

    ...Doing okay there, big guy? Not... Grinding your teeth or anything?

    ...Not reassuring, Orion. That could be eagerness speaking... Or addiction.

    "I reserve my judgement, but so far, so good..."

    And hopefully get the chain off. Unless he swings that way. :p

    Good to see him so calm. I wonder if the over-exposure has left him better adjusted in that sense? So that his resting level of temper is much lower...

    ...Baby steps, OL. Baby steps. Don't be like Tony Stark, trying to fly before you can walk.

    Though, to be fair, he always seems a little angry.

    Though I suspect repairing their desire networks will take a little longer after this. Since each is a little different.

    Well, time for Orion to try drinking from the fire hose, now that he's mastered the garden hose. Wonder what the chances of him gaining Enlightenment from all this is? I mean, he's already well accustomed to mastering his rage. How much more of a push would he need to be able to examine and accept it all? I suppose we'll find out eventually.


    ...and as such we can easily recall what should be there and restore it.
    "Kellen? Are you back with us?"
    We'll have the Dar's physician check you over, and then you'll be out."
     
  22. webxro

    webxro Benevolent Bystander

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    I am not certain that Orion can currently gain enlightenment, I mean at least from how I see it he would need to understand his anger and accept it along with what causes it. Currently he sees his anger as something he must endure, I don't think that is helping him for enlightenment.
     
  23. DAT_NOOB

    DAT_NOOB Accused of writing in a far away land

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    I mean, there isn't a lot of red light in him.
     
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  24. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
     
  25. Rafin

    Rafin Not too sore, are you?

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    Dal

    The mistake seems to he consistent. Since ot is an invented word, would it make sense to change all copies of "Dal" to "Dar" instead?
     
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  26. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    Mr Zoat explained that some places say 'Dar', while others say 'Dal' due to linguistic drift.
     
  27. WereDragon

    WereDragon Bookwyrm

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    Fine indeed. Freaked out, insecure, neurotic and emotional.

    I do not see this ending well. Orion is actively avoiding rage enlightenment and his endurance is not limitless.

    The minor is taking it remarkably well.
     
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  28. Steelplaza

    Steelplaza Custom Title

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    In the main comics continuity there is actually a thing where Orion has inherited something of Darkseid's grey skin and rocky appearance but uses Mother Box to cover it with an illusion of a more handsome and "normal" face because he hates that resemblance to his father. Not that there's any reason for OL to be able to see through a Mother Box illusion.
     
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  29. Rafin

    Rafin Not too sore, are you?

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    Missed that. Thank you.
     
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  30. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Miner. A minor is a child. A miner is someone who digs professionally.
     
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