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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. BR549

    BR549 This is filth! FILTH!!

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    Yeah, I think Tang has it backwards.

    Sentience = can distinguish 'self' from 'not-self'. A dog is sentient. Your goldfish is sentient.

    Sapience = 'intelligent life form'. (How to define that is a can of worms, of course. Can't go by 'tool-using', for instance, or else Striated Herons count...it's basically 'I know it when I see it'.)
     
  2. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    I think you're thinking of the Virus Outbreak strategy card, which was listed in White Dwarf as having 'wiped out not just armies, but entire planetry populations'.
    Thank you, corrected.
    It's not a matter of charge. He's just not capable of wanting something that strongly, or coping with the level of input he'd receive. Best case scenario is that he'd survive the resulting stroke.
    Yeah, I thought that was going to happen. Let me change it.
     
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  3. Agumentic

    Agumentic Not too sore, are you?

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    The terms are so messy it's more practical to establish your own definitions of them. Personally, the ones I prefer are this:
     
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  4. Wivk

    Wivk Know what you're doing yet?

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    Sapient beings are aware of their surroundings and respond to external stimulus. Sentient beings are aware of their own awareness and can respond to internal stimulus. At least that's how I heard it.
     
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  5. CTrees

    CTrees Chasing the ring

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    Perhaps not in English, but you would if you were speaking Spanish. And... I suspect some people would. It might be a regional thing, but I know people who refer to paintings with a single subject as he or she, depending on the subject, rather than it. And then there's boats/ships being "she," and sometimes cars get included in that as well... people anthropomorphize objects constantly, even when they don't talk back. And when they do... well, I assume Tang would call Siri or Alexa "it," but in my experience it is very common for people to call those chatbots "she."

    I understand Tang's point, and the distinction he is making, but language is messy, even if you conpletely ignore recent discourse on gendered language (which is definitely safer to not discuss on this forum).
     
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2024
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  6. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Fortunately, as an English speaker, I can ignore what sex Spanish or French or German speakers think an inanimate object is. It doesn't have one. It's an object.
     
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  7. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    This is Tangseid.

    Just assume anything he says is either a lie, wrong, or twisted to the point it might as well be wrong.
     
  8. FuzzyZergling

    FuzzyZergling Getting out there.

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    Fun fact: gendered language doesn't actually add a gender to the things it describes. It's just shorthand for which mouth-sound the word uses.
     
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  9. Coda

    Coda Versed in the lewd.

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    The word "rent" is already the past tense of "rend." So "rented" is like... well, "bented." If you don't want to say "rent and bent" you can validly say "rended and bent" though that's a slight Americanism according to the dictionary.

    Strange final punctuation.

    changes

    public

    Capitalization on "First"

    That's an awfully dangerous division to be performing. (I'm merely poking fun, this isn't meant to be an actual insult.)

    English is a gendered language! Our genders are "can be counted" (like rocks) and "can't be counted" (like water).
     
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  10. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
     
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  11. Threadmarks: Hellish Content (part 19)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Day 22
    28th March 2013
    09:41 GMT


    "At once, master!"

    The First rolls his eyes in response to the obsequiousness of the crab-like demon serving as the guard in this part of Masak Mavdil. She scuttles over to a cage-style elevator and pulls a lever, which causes the door to open. She then bows further, gesturing for us to enter.

    "Two to go down!"

    I follow the First into the elevator, his gaze completely level, not looking around at all at the shaft clearly visible through the bars around us. Once inside he turns around to face the entrance, gaze still level and arms folded across his chest.

    "Closing the door!"

    He remains exactly like that as the door closes and our descent begins, waiting until the crab-demon is out of sight before allowing his expression to morph into a grimace.

    "Pathetic."

    "The obsequiousness? The demon just wanted to please you."

    "How hard is it to open an elevator door without making a song-and-dance about it?"

    "You could just have said 'thank you'. If the demon knew that you were satisfied with the service, they would probably have shut up. You're kind of a big deal around here."

    "Conquest-god, what do you think my aim around here is?"

    "Ah..? Convince God that free will in general and humans in particular were dreadful mistakes?"

    "And then what?"

    "Go back to enjoying a flawless universe as an end in itself."

    "But I can't, can I? I've seen the imperfection, the corruptibility of existence and of God. I can't be who I was before that ever again. Even if that all happened, I wouldn't be able to enjoy it."

    "But surely if you knew that the alternative was worse and you'd made it better, been proven right, that's not a bad thing?"

    "What do I look like?"

    "A Greek god."

    "And what are the Greeks?"

    "Humans?"

    "I didn't look like this. Back then. And then I was beyond God's sight by His command."

    Ah.

    "And now it's part of you and you're stuck as an ungodly thing. It's changed your nature. You can't be who you were."

    "Can't be, can't want to be. The thing I want the most would be the worst thing to happen because it would even spoil the memories."

    I nod sympathetically. "If you were anyone else, I'd offer you a hug."

    "If I was anyone else it wouldn't come up."

    But then

    "So what's the point of this for you? It's not-. 'If I can't be happy, I'll make everyone else miserable', is it? Because…"

    "There are things I like. There are things I like doing. It's all beneath me, you're all beneath me, but pulling the wings off flies can be surprisingly cathartic."

    "My father once defined evil as power backed by force-."

    "Unusually concise for Darkseid."

    I shake my head. "It was a while ago, I may have forgotten something. You know him?"

    "He came here once, too. Had that streak of piss Desaad with him."

    "And you allowed him?"

    "I'm allowing you."

    "I have a pact which requires me to help you. I doubt that he did."

    "No, but I do find that Anti-Life Equation of his amusing."

    "You heard it, then?"

    He turns his head slightly towards me, sneering. "I was there when the universe was created. Did you really think some muttered words would do anything to me?"

    "No, but it's nice to have it confirmed."

    Mother Box?

    Ping.

    Well I doubt that he'd have written it down. Oh, and about the other thing?

    Ping.

    Alright. Let me know if that changes.

    "Have you studied this place much yourself?"

    "No. I took Lucifer down here once, in the hope that he'd either die or become less smug. A failure on both counts."

    "What did he want?"

    "He was trying to work out how to give humans free will."

    Huh? "I.. thought that was what-."

    "It was. But apparently that wasn't good enough for him. He seemed to think that God had gone back on the original concept or something, and wanted to do something so that God wouldn't be able to impose order on Creation."

    "Learn anything useful?"

    "I learned that I hate Lucifer slightly more than everything else. Smug bastard was laughing when he left."

    "Why?"

    "Because it proved that God wasn't omnipotent, and so could be escaped. As if that's anything to be happy about."

    The lift comes to a rest at the bottom of its shaft, but the First makes no move to open the door.

    "One of his skills is manipulating power. It's more or less what he was made for. And he still couldn't handle the stuff we collect here."

    "Kaahuite, yes, I've heard of it."

    The doors in front of us open and he walks out, arms still folded across his chest. I give him a moment and then follow him, the doors closing and the lift rising the moment I'm out.

    "I admit that I'm a little curious about what your reaction will be."

    "Oh?"

    I look around. Looks like a castle storeroom, if a storeroom had supports made of dark grey rock rather than wood. And didn't store anything… Other than tiny black stalagmites.

    I stumble a step.

    Wu..?

    "I was trying to work out how to kill you and get rid of that fucking sword that fucking succubus made out of my 'brothers'. But then I heard you say that your soul went to the 'Source' however you died, and I actually got curious."

    I-. He bends down and snaps a stalagmite off the ground.

    "What happens if you get killed with one of these? Let's find out."
     
    Last edited: Jan 18, 2024
  12. Bigking321

    Bigking321 Not too sore, are you?

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    I've got to admit. This was particularly stupid of him.

    I can't see why this wouldn't be easily predictable.

    "My essence is the source."

    "Let's go to the one place the source isn't."

    What could happen, right?
     
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2024
  13. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    That should say 'lever'.

    This makes me glad that Paul took care of the First of the Fallen the first chance he got and that he's basically been rendered harmless. Now I hope the Renegade can get out of this situation without losing too much of anything.
     
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  14. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    It's absolutely predictable.

    But Grayven's so sure of his own invincibility that it didn't even occur to him that he might be in danger.
     
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  15. Signaller

    Signaller Know what you're doing yet?

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    "But enough about me, let's kill you!" :p
     
  16. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    At least the place has a certain style about it. No evil castle would be complete without a rickety-looking elevator that descends into places Man quails to tread. Is the demon-crab lady at least wearing a little hat?

    Fortunately, the elevator is probably mystically powered, and thus is unlikely to have a weight limit concerning its occupants. Since neither the First nor the Renegade are small men.

    Not a fan of the theatre?

    Seems to be an automatic reflex in Hell, really. At least in his personal presence.

    The First being nice? That's like... :confused: Asking Santa Claus to swear!

    A little debate that could probably outlast the entire universe...

    A pleasant little clockwork world, ticking away until Entropy collapses it once more? Sounds dull.

    It strokes the Ego, sure, but that high can only last so long.

    How appropriate, his usual mortal form is a Greek man. :p

    Writ large, with foibles and failings more operatic than any man...

    I shudder to picture it. Probably something so eldritch that a human mind would shatter seeing its true many-angled glory.

    A small blemish in the purity of the cold white flame of your soul, huh?

    Well, no hug for you anyway, so there.

    It's just his nature. The nature he has now, anyway. Broken as he is by his Fall.

    Sounds overly simple for Him. I'm sure he's misremembering. Darkseid would take a far longer soliloquy to speechify that point.

    ...Darkseid versus an edgy twelve-year-old. I'm not sure which would win in a chuunibyou contest... :p

    To be fair, He has a lot more metaphysical oomph than just about anyone.

    And we still can't be sure that hasn't had an effect on you, Renegade...

    The pieces He has, at least...

    One of the few things that could resist the full Equation. Could be a useful ally someday... If they can avoid pissing him off now.

    "There are traces of exposure, but none of the usual marks on his soulstuff. Not going to extract anything useful from it."

    "Still running as expected. Which I suppose is a good thing at this point..."

    As if the First would put that much effort into Hell.

    I guess since even a fallen Angel is still an Angel, Kaahuite would be a threat.

    Seems kind of redundant. Unless he was thinking something more... Esoteric than what the First worked on.

    Ironically, isn't that what the Anti-Life Equation is? A program to impose order on everything?

    Lucifer does tend to have that effect on people. Love him or hate him, there's no middle ground.

    Which Lucifer has basically done, really. Unless his little private walkabout universe still counts as part of this one...

    Angel, after all. And this is pretty much the nadir of the one place the Presence does not care to look.

    Well, that's not concerning at all. No doubt the First can just step out of here at any moment. But what if he decides the Renegade needs a stay?

    Ah. This would be Kaahuite. Tiny amounts gathered for... Reasons.

    I see. It's like weaponised, concentrated #NULL#. Anathema to anything with a soul aligned to the Presence... Or the Source.

    Oh dear. A last moment double-cross. Whoever could have seen this coming? :rolleyes:

    Well, a bit sooner than I expected him to betray the Renegade. Guess he really doesn't want to have the Sword around anywhere it might get pointed at him. And whatever the Kaahuite is doing to the Renegade, this makes the perfect opportunity to take it away from him. So, then. How will the Renegade get out of this pinch, I wonder?
     
  17. Prince Charon

    Prince Charon Just zis guy, you know?

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    Isn't 'fucking succubus' rather redundant?
     
  18. AmericanNumbers

    AmericanNumbers Not too sore, are you?

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    Hmm. Grayven absolutely had to know this was coming.

    Are we about to see The First taken down by the Elements of Harmony?

    If Grayven can get it on tape Constantine might die laughing.
     
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  19. moralrelativity

    moralrelativity Recovering pendant.

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    live -> give
     
  20. kedgisgo

    kedgisgo Semi-Professional Lurker

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    oh i think the First has made an error here, he took the Source-backed New God of conquest to a place outside the reach of the Source's light...

    an unconquered place, ripe for the conquering.
    that or, being outside the Source's light, it's rendered him utterly powerless.

    so this could be the place where Grayven is at his most powerful, or his least.. could see it going either way really.
     
  21. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
     
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2024
  22. Dur'id the Druid

    Dur'id the Druid Know what you're doing yet?

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    Is that Anarchy? I thought DC abandoned him after he found out he's the son of the Joker, much less confront Darkseid in any way.

    This entire thing wasn't just to set this up, was it? Really?
     
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  23. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Yes.
    That came later. Later still they crippled him and gave his costume to some random murderer.
     
  24. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Darkseid.

    He is King Emo.

    Plus the First may have wanted to show them how you really torture people.

    I mean, he may have done it if he was bored.

    Though I'm guessing the most it would do to Lucifer is make him get a headache.
     
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  25. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    That explains the problem: I've never had a man in my mouth so I don't know how it's supposed to feel.
     
  26. Dur'id the Druid

    Dur'id the Druid Know what you're doing yet?

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    Just summarizing my reaction to that.

    Edit: QQ ate my emojii!
     
  27. Ardy

    Ardy I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Damn it, Vaermina! Why do you occasionally have salient points???
     
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  28. Threadmarks: Hellish Content (part 20)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Day 22
    28th March 2013
    09:45 GMT


    I… I draw my daiklave and the Sword of the Fallen. I'm not… Firing on all cylinders at the moment.

    "You didn't think this place made me weaker, did you?"

    "It was a-." My vision wavers like a heat haze. "A consideration. But I remember that… You can't handle pain. Powerful, but a coward."

    He rolls the little fragment of kaahuite between his fingers.

    "And that should bother me why?"

    "The Sword of the Fallen-."

    He snorts. "Is that what you called it? Really?"

    I don't-. It's like there's this feel that I… Can't.

    "I wonder what she could make out of you. She-." Focus "Did have access to your body after she ran you through, didn't she?"

    I think it's time to call in a marker. Mother Box, contact Kanto.

    Ping.

    Oh. Okay, just work on it.

    Pooooong.

    Oh.

    The First walks over to one of the support pillars and picks up a… Crowbar? Then he swings it-.

    The support pillar is pulverised.

    "Some very disturbing things live down here. The demons call them abominations. At one time, I thought they might be like me. But, no. Another disappointment."

    "Is this all this is about?"

    "I can't find the whore, thanks to Constantine. He'll get his eventually, now the other two aren't around to fight me for him. You took it off Ishmael Gregor, didn't you."

    "Yes."

    "When I found out, I had a word with his sponsors. According to them, Satanus was the one who supplied it to him."

    "And yet… He's fine. Losing your touch, oh First?"

    "Do I look like someone who belongs in Purgatory?"

    He walks over to another pillar, crowbar at the ready.

    "So… You can't get in. You need him to come out if you want to take a swing at him."

    "'Colin Thornton'. You told someone what he's been up to, and he knows it. Which means that he's... Heh." He shakes his head, chuckling. "He thinks he needs to kill me immediately. Me! As if I haven't seen off more demon lords than his mother's sucked cocks."

    This time he doesn't bother with the crowbar and just punches through the pillar. A fragment of rock comes at-.

    A fragment of rock bounces off my armour because I'm too slow to parry it.

    Need to fix that.

    "Of course, if he doesn't, then I can just take a walk into his place of business on Earth and rip him in half. He is only half-demon. Like your kids."

    The First smiles cruelly.

    "It would be tidiest if I kill them too. And copy whatever their mother did to make them proper demons. Don't worry though, I'm not killing the horse. I wouldn't want her down here even if I could get her."

    Paternal Responsibility

    I walk towards him, swords at the ready.

    "Oh?" He adopts a stance. "Yes, fight me. I'm only a thousand times stronger than you, standing in the place where I was remade. This should be good for a laugh."

    "Yes, but you're still an abject coward, aren't you? I just need to ding you once with anything that actually hurts you."

    His smile widens.

    "I do hope you're not relying on that. I don't feel pain in this form."

    Well, bother. On the other hand…

    Sinestro? Agony matrix. I've finally found someone who deserves it.

    No trouble at all, Lantern Grayven. But wouldn't it be better to wait until he is closer?

    I'm far too unsteady on my feet to take the chance. If it even works on him. Right. Another step forward-.

    The lift smashes into the ground behind me.

    Ah.. great. I half-turn-.

    "What is-" One of Simpson's robots has leapt onto him and grabbed onto his shoulders with its leg-claws while its forearm blades frantically try stabbing the First's face. "-this?"

    I try spotting any others, but my vision actually goes black for a moment and my legs feel like they could give out at any moment. Settles the question of whether this stuff is good for New Gods, and also makes me a good deal more sympathetic to kryptonite-exposed kryptonians.

    Or… Wait. I didn't feel at all odd when Rosacarnis showed me her little knife. The amount? Or my uncertainty? Or both?

    Ugh. I-.

    Sword up!

    The robot strikes my daiklave and is sliced in two from the force of the First's throw, the halves banging off my shoulders hard enough to hurt. Yeah, he's… I don't know about a thousand times, but he's stronger than me when I'm feeling well.

    The First looks mildly puzzled. "John's friend's work. Alright, who else is-?"

    Bang!

    There's a very brief flare of golden fire against the First's chest.

    Bang!

    And another, and the First is looking up towards the ceiling. Another robot, carrying an ornate bolt-action rifle.

    Bang!

    This time the First blocks the shot with his crowbar. It's got his attention, at least. I activate my aero-discs and float towards him as silently as possible as he pulls his right arm back and throws, the crowbar hitting the robot in the neck with enough force to make it explode.

    I swing my daiklave at his left shoulder and he catches my right wrist one-handed without looking around, and tears my hand off.
     
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2024
  29. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    Now I hope Princess Luna gets a chance to blast him.

    Also, it's good to know that the Renegade had something just in case the First of the Fallen tried something. However, how effective it is remains to be seen.
     
  30. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    A pity. I wouldn't be surprised if it actually made him stronger, in fact. And it definitely seems to be affecting the Renegade. This fight could be a challenge. A rare occasion for both of them, really.

    That may be true. He's certainly not accustomed to feeling anything he wanted to feel, I suppose. But the trick will be hurting him here.

    Well, unless he steps on the points as he kicks your teeth in, it's not really a concern.

    Come on, it's snappier than 'The sword made from the remains of the Second and Third of the Fallen.'

    Huh, that would be an interesting conundrum. Did Chantinelle make use of that - admittedly weakened - corpse while she had the chance?

    "H-Having a little t-trouble getting a signal out of h-here, dear." Sadly, i don't think phoning a friend will be possible here.

    "...I don't feel so good. I think I need a little naaa-..." That's just a little worrying.

    Come on, wouldn't a baseball bat be more iconic? If you can take your time, have some style in the matter.

    I dread to imagine what they could be. And what kind of treatment he's given them over the ages.

    Thanks to the handy scrying-protection tattoos she got, of course. Pity John didn't think to get something similar for himself, but who would he trust to do them right?

    You'd think by now, he'd have done something to the young pup.

    No, but you do look like a show-off, taking your time to monologue.

    To be fair, as a succubus, she's probably seen her fair share.

    Ah, right. Helpless victim, no sign of being able to really defend themself. of course he's feeling cocky.

    I would assume the pervading magical field inside the building would make that difficult. Though the First would probably power through...

    Okay threatening the kids is one thing. But threatening a little Pony? Dead man demon walking.

    Unleash the Dad Rage! :V

    Insert your 'Dio versus Jotaro' memes here. :D

    Are you sure? :p It might just have a very high threshold. Why don't we start testing that out?

    You saw what he can do with all that muscle, Ringnestro. Do you want him in arm's reach?

    ... :confused: What?

    ... :eek: What?

    Don't sit around analysing, Conquest, get your ass up and conquer!

    Right, still in danger, here.

    I'm guessing he was egged on by Satanus. Looks like there's a coup in the makings.

    Ah, sniper support. Doesn't seem to have done much, though.

    Classy. Doesn't mean it's safe from harm, though.

    Okay, Grayven, I doubt he had any trouble feeling the air displaced by your bladed surfboard, you know. Size isn't everything!

    Well, this is off to a smashing start. Also slicing, impaling and ripping. It's already a bad enough day when he's down a hand, and I don't think matters are going to improve from here. And unless there's more robots on their way, I get the feeling the First is going to take the Sword of the Fallen and give the Renegade a rather unpleasant piercing.
     
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