Chojin Patriarch
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Oh god, it's worse than we thought! He's using Corporate double-speak! Truly, he is a master of soul-deep torture! And apparently he's been doing this for over... Nine hours? Good lord... <Choke>Day 22
28th March 2013
06:53 GMT
Aaah-hhhaaa-haaa-aaaaah…
"…soul futures, which naturally requires an extensive network of information brokers for the participants to predict market fluctuations."
And a memetic hazard too? Good gravy.First came the First, cast beyond God's sight.
Huuh. Ah-aaaaah…
It's insidious. A history lesson that bores right into your soul as it bores you to death...Then came the Second and Third, to counterbalance the First.
No-no… Come on. focus.
At least the Renegade can resist attacks like this a lot better then the Paragon can.Then came the Lightbringer, seeking escape and knowledge. He was a part of Creation, and bright Creation with him.
I try… Pushing what Mammon told me from my mind, but it's… It's not working. It's worming into my soul. It's not the Anti-Life, it's…
And it's a more detailed history of Hell than we've heard before.It's personal.
From the bridge emerged Demonkind, forever apart from and yet a part of Creation.
Of course they're hungry. They're interns and low-level data entry types, always eager for a promotion to real work.I try focusing on my surroundings. This part of the… Exchange, is more modern than most of Hell. A bit… Eighties stock exchange, simple computer screens and chunky mobile telephones. Demons in shirts cluster in various places, and the screens are showing… Images and bar charts that don't… Don't mean much to me.
The demons are… Cooperating. I don't see any sign that they actually like each other, but files and minor coins are being exchanged… Peacefully. Neither party is reluctant. And I can see demons who are clearly female and not succubae, which is interesting. Male and female alike look like thinner versions of Blathoxi, but… Hungrier.
That's... Concerning.The Nature of Demonkind is not the Nature of Mankind, for Mankind is part of Creation and Demonkind is apart from Creation.
It's like a… Like something's pushing my soul away from the world. And if I had to guess why… My goal is to unify all peoples in a perfect society, even though I know that is impossible. But here the Source itself is tell me to take a hike! Why?
Which is especially worrying. Showing weakness in Hell is asking for trouble.Nggh.
Blathoxi regards me curiously. Yes, regardless of my spiritual defences he's almost certainly picking up on the fact that something is wrong with me.
In other words: 'Yoink!'"What… Ah, what's the payout? How are their investments realised?"
"If the investor owns an asset when the debtor exits the market, then their assets pass to the investor."
In other words, waste not, want not. And nothing goes to waste around here."They take their soul."
Blathoxi rolls his eyes. "By default, a standard position involves all assets, material and immaterial. Naturally, taking possession of worldly goods has the benefit of reducing energy wastage in satisfying future infernal public offerings, but we also have a sales department."
Ah, I see... Something is working its way into him via the contract... Maybe?H-rg-uh.
It nearly fits. Nearly. There shouldn't be anything eldritch about providing a service, but it… Still…
...I'm sorry, can anyone translate Corporatese into English? Is it like Jive?"I'm… I'm sorry, I thought that you answered requests using magic. Are you saying that you buy solutions to requests using previously acquired assets?"
"Lord Mammon encourages us to multi-vector product delivery. So long as the requested service is rendered, it hardly matters how."
Indeed, it's not likely to expand the market without fresh blood, after all."Can external parties make investments?"
"Certainly. This is a free market, after all."
One guess who those are..."And can the initial party buy their…" Ah, I can't come up with the investor-speak word. "Their soul back?"
"Again, certainly. It's actually quite common with our senior clients."
In other words, if a demon likes souls with a little piquancy of fear, terror and pain, then the 'seller' can oblige?"Cult-leaders offer sacrifices?"
"Among other techniques. While the seller sets the price, souls which acquire… Certain resonances, accumulate value. It may well be in an investor's long-term interest to liquidate their position and re-enter the market at a later stage."
So don't expect to get out of damnation on a technicality."And… If a cult-leader buys himself out of all outstanding contracts and then dies..?"
"We do have a sin-eating department. It's a specialist market, since it doesn't help with people who want to reach the Silver City."
...So, places like Purgatory? Neutral grounds in their respective spiritual cycle?"So cult-leaders wound end up here anyway."
"Not here. Having purchased their own stock the Exchange has no hold on them. Usually they would end up in Err, and thus are no longer our proper concern."
Well, glad that's all understood. Now, can yo stop with the corporate blather?"So… If a Hindu magician wanted to ensure a more advantageous reincarnation…"
"I believe that you understand the service."
Heh. No escaping the wheel of Karma."And what do the Hindu gods think of that?"
"We haven't had any complaints so far. It only allows them to escape the consequences of their vices. It does not help them achieve nirvana." He stops, smiling faintly. "In fact, I rather suspect that it works against it."
So presumably those who do visit without proper precautions for their safety aren't likely to leave again."Do such mortals ever come here?"
"Only very occasionally. Quite a collectors item."
...After hearing all that? I doubt it.It's… So… Logical. But the rest…
"I don't suppose that we can offer you a deal of some sort, can we?"
But at what price, hmm? Because nothing in Hell is free..."My soul goes to the Source when I die. I wouldn't want to cheat you."
"We do broker other sorts of deal, Mister Grayven. We can acquire almost anything."
Yuga Khan? Good luck tracking him down.I raise my eyebrows. "The bones of my grandfather?"
"For a fee, we could investigate."
And since it's usually impossible to exit the Source Wall..."My grandfather is on the Source Wall. And he was alive when he went on there."
"For a large fee, we could investigate."
Unless it's part of a long-term play."I appreciate the offer, but I have nearly everything I want, and what's left I'll get from the First."
"That would be out of character for him."
Such as improving the efficiency of Hell? Honestly, I doubt he really cares for it."We have an agreement, and everything that you and Mammon… And my general demonology reading says is that the letter of the agreement is binding. If the First wants to pay the penalty on a contract solemnised with his own magic… Sure, he could, but I just don't see how it's worth it. I don't think I've angered him enough."
"Then the gain will be in some other area of his operations."
Not quite as catchy as 'Equivalent Exchange', but you do you, guys.I shrug. "Sure, I assumed that. But that's the point of capitalism, isn't it? A series of voluntary exchanges where each gains something they value more than what they give up?"
He nods. "We use that phrase extensively in our advertising literature and sales spiels."
Hmm... Looks like the market is about to get lively. But is it going to be a bear market or a bull market?"Come no now. Everyone knows that you shouldn't trust advertisements." Or demons. "That's barely even lying. I-."
I look around as a door slams open and a demon in a state of some distress rushes in, a bundle of paper clutched in one hand. He heads over to a cluster of investors and… Starts talking. We're too far away for me to easily hear-.
Preferably before whatever's affecting him starts to stick.Numbers on the screens start to move a lot.
"Excuse me, Mister Grayven. We've finished our tour, and I believe this needs my personal attention. One of my aides can show you out."
Well, I'm sure all that exposition was incredibly boring for the Renegade. So much so he apparently started to lose touch with the Source. Maybe his Father should look up that sort of thing for the Anti-Life. My money is on the First trying some sort of spiritual attack vector through the Sympathetic link of the contract. For what reason? Who knows, he's evil.