"Hahahaa!"
O'Neill frowns and looks at Major Carter. "I didn't think it was that funny. Was it?"
Sadly, you're not as funny as you think you are, Colonel.
She shakes her head awkwardly. "No, sir."
"No." I shake my head. "Your robot twin brother from Altair calls me the same thing. It amuses me how similar you are."
Though I expect little differences are
starting to take shape. Could be years before they truly diverge, though.
That makes him look more serious. "They were supposed to bury that gate."
"Heehaha!" I gesture to him with both hands. "Would you?" Carter raises her eyebrows at him, and he looks mildly disgruntled for a moment before shrugging. "But don't worry, thanks to me Altairan civilisation is up and running again including their military, and since everyone else thinks it's still a dead world it's unlikely that anyone is going to go looking there."
And since most Goa'uld aren't clever enough to look up gate travel logs, no-one would ever know he was there unless they caught him about to leave.
"And… You did that… Why?"
"Because they have stuff I want and I can't trade with them if they're all dead." I look around as the security personnel return to their normal stations. "So do you actually have Tok'Ra here, or..? Are they coming in next?"
Right in front of the wormhole device with a noticeable splash zone isn't exactly the best place for a meeting...
O'Neill shrugs, steps back and gestures to the exit. "I'm sure you know the way by now. Are you gunna introduce your friend?"
I head for the door at strolling pace, noting the guards ahead and those falling in behind. "This is Damla, the host of Lady Heset. She's a Tok'Ra agent."
And that's a very significant way of introducing her. Given the fact most Goa'uld would be annoyed at best, raging at worst...
Carter gives her a surprised look. "Are you trying to arrange a prisoner exchange?"
"Ah, do the Tok'Ra take prisoners?" I shrug. "If they've got one of System Lord Bastet's Underlords then I'll consider it, but that's not why I'm here."
I see their relationship's progressing nicely, not that anyone there can see that emotional undercurrent.
"So why are you here?"
"I wish to wrap them in cotton wool so they don't hurt themselves running with scissors."
A reasonable response to children getting themselves into trouble.
Carter frowns, and looks to Damla for an explanation.
Damla moues with distaste. "Mammon has a rather low opinion of the Tok'Ra. He refuses to speak with Heset, and insists that I control our body."
A quirky way of doing it, but given his opinion of the Tok'ra...
"Your body." / "It's your…"
O'Neill grimaces as he realises that we said the same thing.
"…body."
Heh, annoyed that he has the same feelings as the not-so-bad guy... Bet that's frustrating.
I scan the area around us. "No Doctor Jackson?"
Carter shakes her head. "He and Sha're are taking a break from Stargate Command."
Good for them. Let's hope nothing goes poorly.
I nod. "Probably sensible, given everything she's gone through. The culture shock involved in living somewhere like this would be considerable for her. I… Doubt that they'd be interested, but please pass on an offer from me for them to visit Syrania. It's a little closer to what she's used.. to-." I frown. "Unless she's kept Amaunet's memories, in which case she's probably your leading expert on goa'uld technology and has enough experience of other cultures to fit in here almost effortlessly."
Hopefully they aren't pumping her for information
too much.
Carter and O'Neill both look slightly awkward for an instant.
Well, good for her.
Ah. Well, I hope they've been letting her take breaks.
One of the guards outside the meeting open the door and I stroll in, a short bald man in Tok'Ra gear seated at General Hammond's right hand. They both stand to greet me, Hammond indicating the man with his right hand. "Lord Mammon, this is.. Selmak, of the Tok'Ra."
The man nods in cautious greeting as I scan him. "I don't think-."
Ah, one of the
leaders of the rebellion. Also Sam's father playing host.
I take the opposite position to him at the table and offer him my right hand. He hesitates for a moment, clearly nonplussed, then takes it.
"Please to meet you, General Carter. I do hope that I'll mostly be talking to you."
Really driving home that point, isn't he?
His eyes shine for a moment as he recovers his hand. "Are you still sore about our last encounter?"
"No." I shake my head. "I honestly don't remember it. Now please go back inside, I want to talk to someone who isn't a moron."
Presumably a previous encounter between Selmak in an earlier host and Goa'uld-Mammon's last lifetime.
Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill takes seats next to him, and Damla-.
I stare at her like she's an idiot, then make a shooing gesture with both hands. "You're a Tok'Ra. Sit over there with them."
General Carter and Damla share a quick look, then she complies with my instruction and takes the last seat on the far side of the table.
I'd be worried she's been in deep cover a little too long, perhaps.
I smile broadly. "Now, the reason why I wanted to talk to you is that without Egeria to make more Tok'Ra, you're heading towards extinction. And that's fine, except that I don't get anything out of it first. So I had an idea: why don't I help you do what you should have done when Egeria started her rebellion, which you're all to stupid to do for yourselves?"
Bit of a 'coming out swinging' moment there. No feeling spared.
He regards me levelly. "And what would that be?"
I turn my head to the left. "Colonel O'Neil, you're a man of average intelligence. If you were in charge of a small group of highly intelligent and long-lived aliens, and you wanted to destroy the galaxy-spanning empire ruled by other members of their species where they kept its human residents in a state of technological primitivism in order to lord it over them as gods, how would you do it?"
Serious answers, please. Hopefully that's coming across from Mammon's tone.
He goes to answer, glances at General Hammond, then actually pauses to think it through. "I'd train up some soldiers and use them to acquire goold technology. Then I'd teach some humans how to use it. A few hundred engineers and scientists who understand what they're working on would give you a bigger R&D base then most System Lords. And since goold hate each other, they won't cooperate, share information, or check that the people attacking them are actually who they're pretending to be. I'd create a civil war while my people kept on getting stronger."
Or, since there's already a civil war of sorts, exacerbate it and drag lesser groups into it.
I grandly gesture at Colonel O'Neill with my left hand while staring wide-eyed at General Carter and, I hope, Selmak.
"Also, it's slightly above average, actually."
...Just had to get that dig in, eh, Jack?
General Carter shakes his head. "We wouldn't have been able to get far enough away from goa'uld space to make that work."
"I'm doing it now. With System Lord Bastet's full knowledge and assent."
Of course, if their information is up to date, thanks to Heset, they know that's because he's wiled his way into her good books...
His eyebrows rise slightly, and he looks to General Hammond for confirmation. He gets a small nod.
"Why?"
...Really? Not looking to your woman on the inside first? ...Then again, she wouldn't know about that aspect of things, even before he learned her real intentions.
"Because my ego isn't quite so fragile as some other goa'uld. Because humans learn too slowly and live too briefly to reach our level even if they are educated. Because Ra is dead and we don't need to follow his rules any longer. Because educated workers can do more than uneducated workers. Because it materially improves their quality of life and I do actually like my people doing better because of something that I did."
In other words, because he's
not a narcissistic arsehole with a god complex.
"I believe everything you said except that."
"It's a pride thing, not empathy. I did that. I saw that this was sensible, where no other goa'uld did."
Again, narcissistic arseholes with god complexes. It's be a rare goa'uld who
could think it worthwhile...
"Alright. Let's say I believe you. What do you want from us?"
"Given that your campaign of spying and sabotage has achieved nothing and the goa'uld grip upon this galaxy is as strong as it ever was, I want all of you to come and work for me as teachers. Train my human citizens in the sciences. I've already got primary school teachers and now I need something more sophisticated. In return, I will ensure that the system of education we develop becomes to model for all of System Lord Bastet's domains."
Hmm... that might be pushing a little too fast, unless he means to introduce it carefully and gradually.
"Why would I want to make Bastet stronger?"
"Because you're either doing this because Egeria hated Ra and programmed you to share that hatred, or you're doing it because you think goa'uld are bad rulers. I am offering to put you in a position where you can force me to become a good ruler by empowering my people, making them independent of me." I shrug. "Of course, if Selmak is just Egeria's meat robot attack dog then there's nothing to talk about."
Oooh, shots fired.
He regards me for a moment, then turns to General Hammond. "George, is this guy for real?"
"As far as we can tell?" He nods. "Yes. He is."
"Then in that case… I think I'm going to have to see it for myself."
That's fair. Just don't get any
funny ideas.
