1. Due to issues with external spam filters, QQ is currently unable to send any mail to Microsoft E-mail addresses. This includes any account at live.com, hotmail.com or msn.com. Signing up to the forum with one of these addresses will result in your verification E-mail never arriving. For best results, please use a different E-mail provider for your QQ address.
    Dismiss Notice
  2. For prospective new members, a word of warning: don't use common names like Dennis, Simon, or Kenny if you decide to create an account. Spammers have used them all before you and gotten those names flagged in the anti-spam databases. Your account registration will be rejected because of it.
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Since it has happened MULTIPLE times now, I want to be very clear about this. You do not get to abandon an account and create a new one. You do not get to pass an account to someone else and create a new one. If you do so anyway, you will be banned for creating sockpuppets.
    Dismiss Notice
  4. If you wish to change your username, please ask via conversation to tehelgee instead of asking via my profile. I'd like to not clutter it up with such requests.
    Dismiss Notice
  5. Due to the actions of particularly persistent spammers and trolls, we will be banning disposable email addresses from today onward.
    Dismiss Notice
  6. A note about the current Ukraine situation: Discussion of it is still prohibited as per Rule 8
    Dismiss Notice
  7. The rules regarding NSFW links have been updated. See here for details.
    Dismiss Notice
  8. The testbed for the QQ XF2 transition is now publicly available. Please see more information here.
    Dismiss Notice

A Different Choice (Cyberpunk 2077)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by cliffc999, Dec 16, 2020.

Loading...
  1. Psyckosama

    Psyckosama Connoisseur.

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2013
    Messages:
    10,934
    Likes Received:
    84,325
    And I'm the reader. If I can't pick up on what you meant, then you fucked up not me because it means you're not properly communicating your damned intent. Creating Writing 101

    You said she doesn't have friends her own age, being said by a 20 something Vi which implied they were in the same age group. I was like "dude, she's 80".

    Context is a thing.

    Why? Because I don't have my hands down your pants massaging your balls?

    [​IMG]


    Ever look in a mirror? Ever?

    No, I said you made it sound like she was young.

    It's not a context game when I'm quoting the relevant segment of the relevant passage that caused the confusion. There rest really didn't matter. Because it was not the confusing bit.

    No, you act out because you want to be the victim. Because somehow being offended. It gives you an excuse to act out and makes you feel like you have the moral high ground.

    What you need is professional help.

    This is typical Cluster B bullshit.
     
    PrinceSheo and BigBoom550 like this.
  2. cliffc999

    cliffc999 Connoisseur.

    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2017
    Messages:
    13,413
    Likes Received:
    251,455
    (snip a ton of bullshit that is so blatantly out of joint with what any reader of this thread can see with their own two eyes simply by scrolling back about eight posts that I honestly cannot believe that Psycko expects anyone to believe it).

    What confusion? Literally no one else in this thread but you at any point thought that the story was saying Hanako Arasaka was young. Everybody else who posted about it at all - and note that several people replied to you on the topic before I did it - treated it as the joke it was.

    If everyone reading it had mistaken it the same way, then it would need fixing. But if you're the only person whose reading comprehension failed so epically, that kinda nails down exactly who failed.

    I dunno, it clearly hasn't done anything useful for you. (EDI) That was a joke. (/EDI)

    Seriously, though, you're hardly one to talk about a sense of proportion, seeing as how literally nothing about this entire incident is remotely worth the time you've invested in it. You think I'm a crappy writer who can't write? Then do what a normal person does when in the story thread of a fanfic writer they don't enjoy reading - leave. Putting this much effort into trying to tear me down - especially when you take it to the personal level - kinda underlines that you're not actually here to be a critic, you're here to harass. And you're certainly not here out of a disinterested concern in my mental health. *rollleyes*

    So until your ass finally gets the hint and toddles off to go bother someone else, let me manage your expectations; I'm about as likely to take advice from you on how to behave 'properly' on the Internet as I am to take advice from Pee Wee Herman on how to act in a movie theater, and for about the same reason.
     
    Last edited: Jan 3, 2021
    Caoster and RandomLurker like this.
  3. Psyckosama

    Psyckosama Connoisseur.

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2013
    Messages:
    10,934
    Likes Received:
    84,325
    I'm not the one who suffered a psychotic break because someone had issue with my strange phrasing.

    It was poorly constructed prose. When you say "someone your own age" in normal people speak that means children.

    Though frankly, looking at this story more closely, your prose is a mess. It's readable but distinctly mediocre with a lot of strange word choices, overly lengthy paragraphs, and frankly a lack of context in places that means that anyone who isn't already familiar with Cyberpunk would have difficulty understanding.

    I'll give you an example.

    V and Jackie were both members of a class of people that had once been called 'edgerunners' and were now so ubiquitous a part of Night City's atmosphere that they didn't even have a distinctive name any longer.

    It's lengthy and fails to explain what an edgerunner is

    V and Jackie were both mercenaries. In days past they would have been called 'edgerunners', but that particular sub-caste of society had become so ubiquitous within Night City that they'd long lost all distinction.

    There you go. That is what providing context looks like.

    Actually, they've been saying you didn't say she was young, which is true. Because you just strongly implied it. Enjoy your technicality.

    It was still a confusing, shoddy constructed sentence.

    I suggest you take your sense of humor in for its 10,000 mile rotation. It's clearly out of order.

    [​IMG].

    In frank terms, you pissed me off.

    No, I think you're a passable writer (which mind you, still puts you in the top 80% of internet fanfiction authors, enjoy the faint praise) who wrote something on a subject I was interested, had an oddity I decided to point out, then had a fucking psychotic break because you're mentally incapable of accepting any degree of honest critique.

    Dear god, it's like taking to the Karen of Fanfiction...

    That said, I have more important things to do then compete with you in the special olympics. I actually have writing to do and have wasted enough time on your "meh" grade one shot.

    Though I do agree, I wouldn't have done the whole fight out the building. Not when you can kill the two guys on the roof and jack the AV... ;)
     
    Fregith and PrinceSheo like this.
  4. cliffc999

    cliffc999 Connoisseur.

    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2017
    Messages:
    13,413
    Likes Received:
    251,455
    *ROTFLMBO*

    You literally are incapable of anything but hysterically doubling down again and again, aren't you? First I'm a bad writer, then I'm a tantrum throwing drama queen, then I'm 'schedule B', and now I'm in a flat-out psychotic break. And all I had to do was keep saying that I was tired of your bullshit.

    I'm wondering how many more posts it will take me to reach 'secret world-conquering supervillain' at the rate you're going.

    And had the oddity answered - by several people - and then kept going with lying, yes, lying, it will always be lying - 'relevance' my ass - because you were obsessed with a point literally no one else cared about.

    You were not interested in reaching a meeting of the minds, you were interested in having someone admit that you knew more about their own story than they did. And started flinging accusations of mental illness around willy-nilly when denied their prize.

    You're honestly acting like it's prima facie evidence of serious mental illness for someone to:

    a) Disagree with you about the intent of their own writing.
    b) Lose their temper with you at your contemptuous bullshit.

    As if you existed in some world where you were not only right but so ineffably, awesomely right that anyone who would dare suggest you were less than perfect was psychotically insane. And you used the words "psychotic break" and "professional help", not me.

    At this point I'm marveling at how much you're projecting. Because one of us is clearly spiraling further and further into the crazy zone at the stubborn refusal of someone else to just capitulate to their every criticism, but it ain't me.

    PS: My story threads are full of honest critique that gets answered honestly. I've literally had readers point out blatant continuity errors that got no response from me other than 'Oh damn, you're right. I'll fix that.' So no, the problem is you. I have never yet been accused of 'being unable to accept honest critique' from anyone who themselves was able to accept honest critique. Somehow I only hear that accusation in the middle of what are already petty little flamewars from petty little flamers.

    Oh, I'm entirely sure you'll miraculously find a reason to reply yet again the instant you see that I responded to your latest sally with anything less than a groveling apology. Although I'd love to be wrong about that.

    Have you even played the game? You can actually try killing the two guys on the roof and jacking the AV. End result: you can't jack the AV, the security systems are beyond your ability to hack.

    Yet again - or more accurately, yet still, as 'yet again' would imply there was ever a time you hadn't - you put your nose in the air and expound your 'wisdom' on Cyberpunk 2077 and its surrounding fiction, and yet again you only reveal that you barely know the slightest anything of what you're talking about.

    Then again, why am I even pretending to be surprised.
     
    Prince Chrom and InsanexSilence like this.
  5. Megaolix

    Megaolix Moderator

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2013
    Messages:
    29,381
    Likes Received:
    103,417
    Guys. At this point, you may want to take it to Rants or to PMs. I cannot say this discussion is a good one any longer. Rule 1 and all, so I would prefer you do not force my hand.
     
    mauke, taovkool and Crimson Reiter like this.
  6. litaispe

    litaispe -

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2018
    Messages:
    916
    Likes Received:
    6,289
    It isn't even very hard to kill those two guys on the roof. The AV just does the power move of closing the doors and locking them on detecting unauthorized access.

    That said; you can actually loot the contents of the AV because the game is "somewhat" buggy and the level geometry and spawned items don't actually disappear after the mission. It requires the double-jump mods and abusing the enter/exit behaviour of cars. The double/extra jump mods actually let you break the game a bunch by granting a pile of unexpected mobility which the developers don't always account for.

    :edit: crap, didn't notice how old the last post was :(
     
    Renko likes this.
  7. NTR Commissar

    NTR Commissar Cunny Enjoyer Enjoyer

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2016
    Messages:
    203
    Likes Received:
    2,741
    A lot of dialogue that's ending in periods should be ending in commas.

    https://www.authorlearningcenter.co...tial-rules-for-punctuating-dialogue---article

    Anyway, neat opening. Would be keen to find out how this mess develops.

    Edit: Yikes. I also failed to notice how old this was. Sorry, used to SB's higher traffic.

    2nd EDIT: Also kinda funny that this whole butterfly haopens because V fixates on the word 'treason', but what Saburo actually says is '裏切り(uragiri)', a very generic term for 'betrayal'. You could use it in the context of a traitor to the nation, yes, but also if your slut brother steals your boyfriend after promising to make sure he doesn't meet any strange women while you're on your research trip to Antartica.

    Treason is '反逆(hangyaku)', so really this whole thing is the translation software taking creative liberties based on contextual clues.
     
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2021
    willk and nick012000 like this.
  8. nick012000

    nick012000 Gone for Good

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2013
    Messages:
    4,553
    Likes Received:
    12,699
    I sort of wonder if the fact that Oda starred in a rap music video alongside a bunch of gang members from almost every gang in Night City will come up, if this story is ever continued.
     
  9. Extras: Thoughts On This Story After Finishing The Game (Repeatedly)
    cliffc999

    cliffc999 Connoisseur.

    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2017
    Messages:
    13,413
    Likes Received:
    251,455
    When I wrote this fic I hadn't done more than finish the Heist. That was such a powerful moment I felt an urge to drop it and story ahead. The only thing I knew about the later game was spoilers and suchlike. This amusedly helped me get better in the headspace of my V, because I had no more idea about what the future would bring than she did.

    But that was last month and this is this month, so I have now completed every ending in the game - some more than once. And in hindsight, my observations on my V's decision:

    * The Arasakas are even worse people than I'd already thought at the time I originally wrote this, and I'd already thought them to be horrible people indeed. Every Arasaka, including Hanako.
    * My V's ability to persuade Hanako to better choices in the future is notably lower than she estimated... but is still not zero. She might be an evil ice princess but she's motivated by filial piety and pragmatism, which is hardly great but still a definite step up from Saburo's racist megalomania.
    * On the plus side, my V has already done the world it's greatest service possible by short-stopping Saburo Arasaka's cybernetic immortality. Saburo's engram might already be in Mikoshi, but Relic 2.0 was a failed project until the unique accident of V dying with an already-damaged biochip inside her head somehow sparked it into working where it never had before. With V's brain to examine and reverse-engineer from Dr. Hellman was capable of reproducing the success in the 'Devil' ending... but since nobody ever slotted the biochip at all in this timeline, Hellman will never get the fluke success to give him the clue.

    So overall, this timeline isn't necessarily better than canon - in all non-Devil endings, Arasaka not only loses Relic 2.0 technology but the entirety of Mikoshi and teeters on the edge of bankruptcy - but it's still not bad. It certainly isn't the disaster of 'Congratulations, you just helped Saburo win everything forever' that I'd feared might be possible.

    Also, given how long the game has been out by now, anyone who bought it anywhere remotely near launch day has almost certainly already finished it. And the story itself doesn't spoil anything past the end of Act One anyway, and the whole world knows that part by now. So I'm removing the spoiler tags.
     
  10. nick012000

    nick012000 Gone for Good

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2013
    Messages:
    4,553
    Likes Received:
    12,699
    Unless Jackie slotted the biochip when V ran out to stop Yorinobu Arasaka from killing his dad, and replaced the shard in the case with some random shard.

    Then Jackie gets the "fun" of spending time with Johnny Silverhand instead of V.
     
  11. Mashadarof402

    Mashadarof402 Well worn.

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2017
    Messages:
    5,337
    Likes Received:
    64,696
    I'm pretty sure if that happened, V's next meeting with Jackie wouldn't have been as cordial as it was. There's no way they wouldn't have been patted down to make sure all property was returned and verified, especially something as valuable as that.
     
  12. Zerothewarhound

    Zerothewarhound I trust you know where the happy button is?

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2019
    Messages:
    915
    Likes Received:
    3,746
    You know i would totally read this if you decide to continue where this left off also great story
     
Loading...