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Corvid [RWBY/Naruto]

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Salius, Apr 6, 2023.

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  1. Salius

    Salius Getting sticky.

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    Thanks for the review :) I'm going to do an info post later tonight about rough power scaling just to put a few people's minds at ease about where things areso I'll summarise it better there.

    Love interest i am going to allow to develop through dialogue rather than pre plan it and make it feel forced, at the minute candidates are Pyrrha (personality match) Velvet (semblance connection) and Winter (skill connection) though honestly as long as they start the fic as 18 or older when they get together, I'm open to just letting something naturally develop if it feels right. Anyone else from the main teams is out though, Pyrrha only gets a pass due to her being older and more mature and already having a connection with Itachi.
     
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  2. Salius

    Salius Getting sticky.

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    Thank you! High praise indeed I always put more effort into them!
     
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  3. Salius

    Salius Getting sticky.

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    Thanks so much for the feedback, once I get home from work I will do a readability pass again, alway appreciate your feedback I might need to just add you to my live doc hahahaha

    Really appreciated!

    Regarding the energy you are on the right track, I'm leaning heavily into some of the works and concepts that I'm pretty sure inspired Naruto in the first place.
     
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  4. Extras: Power Scaling Info - As of Arc 1 - Chapter 6
    Salius

    Salius Getting sticky.

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    A few people have asked about power scaling, both here and elsewhere so i thought i'd just summarise where we are at Chapter 7.

    Regarding Itachi - I think anyone who knows the slightest bit about Naruto knows how powerful mr author insert Itachi himself really is. Dropping him in to remnant as is, is basically a recipe for a three chapter story. So my initial story plan was always to start him at the bottom and work his way up. A large part of his story on Remnant is one of growth and change.

    Currently, his aura and chakra do not work how he expects them to. As a reminder, this isnt the Itachi who died at 21 in a fight that he had to produce, direct and play the main character in in order to feasibly lose without making it obvious he threw, and allow Sasuke to unlock the mangekyo. This Itachi started off in the body of the fourteen year old ANBU. His body was not hardened by Akatsuki life, he didnt have to make compromises to remain viable through his lung disease and blindness. He's a little soft due to the lack of real challenges on remnant the grow the way he did previously. The knowledge is there, but the body is not. And a large portion of his change inpower development is down to Aura. He's been forced to trade control for raw power, which doesnt vibe at all with his way of fighting. He's physically weaker, and lacking the ability to use his prodigious sensory skills and his body control without his immense Chakra control.

    Conversely, his reserves are massive and unwieldy. It allows him to express power a lot wider, but a lot less surgically.

    Story willing however, he will work his way back toward and beyond where he was previously.

    Regarding the rest of Remnant.

    I love RWBY (Caveat: Mostly seasons 1 through 3 but there are a few standout parts in the later seasons too), i wouldnt write fanfic about it if i didnt. But anyone who watches it know it's powerscaling is somewhat... eclectic. And more than a little bit all over the place. It isnt quite as bad as Worm, the other fandom i write in, but it's close.

    In baseline RWBY, there are legitimate genin in part 1 Naruto who could probably sleepwalk through 75% of the RWBY cast, disregarding Jinchuuriki, Neji in particular but Lee, Sasuke, TenTen, Temari. A few others. My Remnant powerscaling moves academy students at Beacon level to be roughly on or even somewhat beyond depending on year the level of the rookie nine at the Chuunin exam, and then everyone scales from there. The tools to be powerful are there in RWBY canon, i'm just applying and amplifying them a bit. Teams like CVFY would be on par with team Gai for instance.

    Finally, after taking this in to account, there is a large element of butterfly effect due to Qrow and Itachi's bodacious journey, and Summer living. Pyrrha, Winter, Glynda, Ozpin, Qrow, Taiyang, Vernal, Adam Taurus, Cinder, Hazel, Raven are probably the biggest beneficiaries of this. Ironwood is also hugely more powerful than he was in canon RWBY as fitting with his station. Lionheart is also quite powerful for the same reason. Im probably missing characters but i will explain those in story.

    If Itachi's Chakra and Aura were fixed, right now, changing nothing else and allowing him to start training his original skillset back up, he would currently sit between Ironwood and Ozpin in power. That would put him over 90% of the fics cast. The explanation on *some* of his isssues will arrive in the next chapter, i've got third round edits to do on it yet but hopefully should be out on the 26th/27th. My current plan is to iron out the first half of the story by arc 6, and the true explanation will probably arrive around then muse dependent.

    Hopefully this answers any questions about powerscaling differences, but if you have any questions at all then please, drop them in the thread and i will answer. Please do not be afraid to criticise, dislike, or give a negative review. I *thrive* off those. One of the hardest things to receive in fanfic is legitimate well meaning criticism. If you think something doesn't work, doesn't flow right or could be done better if handled differently, then drop it in the thread! I dont ever take umbrage with people taking a negative slant, i need that to improve!
     
  5. Threadmarks: Arc 1 - Sensei : Chapter 7 - Master
    Salius

    Salius Getting sticky.

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    The penultimate chapter of the Arc and this one really fought with me. A lot of this was planned since the prologue, i'm sure some of you were wondering what was going on with this as i never touched on it again previously so there you go. This should have been out on thursday but it's been deleted and rewritten three time since then. Couldnt quite arrive at a personality for our friend here.

    As always, let me know your thoughts. I'm sure anyone with rudimentary knowledge of either series knows where this is kinda headed.
    ============

    Chapter 7 - Master



    It’s not often I’m surprised.

    It sounds ludicrous to myself even thinking those words. I spent an entire career as a shinobi being surprised. It became my default state at one point. Surprised that Shisui would make the choice he did. Surprised that Danzo cared more about personal power than the well-being of the village. Surprised that my brother followed the opposite of the path I laid out for him. Surprised that the blonde idiot that used to prank ANBU for fun ended up being a genuine threat to me at my most powerful. If anything my greatest strength was that I could roll with the surprises. And come out on top almost every time.

    They called me a ‘once in a generation’ genius at one point. The worst part of that is I never felt particularly intelligent. My lauded ‘genius’ was a simple and practical application of logic. I always had a strong grasp on logic, even from a young age. Fathers lessons crystallised that logic into fear and naked grasping for the power to assert my own beliefs.

    It’s probably more truthful for me to say ‘It’s not often I’m surprised in combat.’

    Which is at least mostly true.

    Pyrrha surprised me. Twice.

    The Third Hokage used to say ‘Once teaches, twice kills’ in regard to surprises.

    The ability to control metal, I’m not sure of the limitations of her technique but if she’s even halfway to the third Kazekage’s mastery, she’s a future S-Rank threat on her own. I want to tell myself that I didn’t start the fight with the Sharingan, and i’m half energy crippled, and I was fighting to match her power rather than overpower.

    But it would all be worthless excuses. It would also be disrespectful to her. She came at me with everything she had. She reviewed every scrap of intelligence she could gather on my fighting style, and in the short time before our fight she made intelligent and well thought steps to counter them.

    If we ever fight again, the Sharingan will need to be in play from the start.

    As with every time I fight, I find myself reviewing the battle in my head. What could I do differently with greater knowledge of the steps she took. Anything control heavy is out so what raw power applications can I use. What deficiencies did I note in my style and what do I need to shore up.

    I could use lightning, but it’s by far the weakest of my elements. I could use electromagnetism to possibly interfere with or interrupt her power. So lightning alignment training is in my future.

    I also need to spend a not inconsiderable amount of time on replacement and illusionary clone training. They are too key to my effectiveness and it took me far too long to replace out of Pyrrha’s iron storm. Had this been the old me I wouldn’t have even taken a hit. Instead I took too long and nearly lost my Aura in a single attack.

    So weak. This cannot be allowed to stand. It’s time to do what I should have done three years ago, the moment I realised this problem existed.

    Looking down at the black scroll in my hand, I search for my courage within myself.

    But all that I can find are questions.

    Pulling out my scroll, I send a quick message out to the headmaster.

    “Headmaster, I’m heading out to the Emerald Forest for some personal training, If you need me try to message me early as I will be a while out.”

    It takes moments for him to reply.

    “Noted Itachi. And do try to get some rest at least some point this weekend if you are intending to take a field trip in the coming week.”

    Smiling and shaking my head, I flicker off into the woods, bouncing between tree limbs an old familiar routine. As I move, the rain burdened clouds above start to release their gift.

    Of course It would rain today. He will not be happy with me.



    Looking out at the shaded glade deep in the Emerald Forest, as the rain falls, I work to find my center. I’m well away from civilisation here, almost on the far edge of the forest from the school.

    Grimm are not as numerous out here, the strange borderland where the Grimm are close enough to civilisation to be drawn to attack, but not so far away as to be pulled by the ebbs and flows of negative energy seeping through the world. These places exist all across the world, strange eyes of the storm where weak Grimm are common but powerful Grimm are almost unheard of.

    An as to why I’m all the way out here in a rain sodden forest out of the way of civilisation?

    At a loss as to how to fix whatever is going on with my Chakra, I’ve decided to try something… risky.

    Since Shisui died, I had never again during my life attempted to call upon the boss summon nor any of the talking summons of the corvid contract. Shisui was their favoured summoner, I was simply an addition to the contract.
    Even though he asked me to kill him, killing the scroll holder has consequences.

    How can I still summon in Remnant? With my own world and seemingly the summoning plane long behind me?

    It turns out, the god of death favours the corvids greatly, being one of his primary symbols and one of the myriad mortal representations of his form. When I arrived in this world I did so with a black scroll bearing the Shinigami’s symbol.

    The scroll was the master contract for the corvid clan, one that allows me to retain many of my old techniques. The true crow clone that I have sorely missed as just one example.

    It also means that I can technically call upon Yatagarasu. The boss of the contract.

    As a boss summon, and a disciple of death he will likely have insights to my chakra that I can’t comprehend.

    But that doesn’t stop the dread that pools in my stomach like acid. The crows in particular loved Shisui. Their most favoured summoner in their recorded history.

    But I’m out of other options. Ozpin is evasive, Oobleck is without any fresh ideas. I need to find balance, or I need to find a way to temporarily suppress my own chakra expression while I master my aura. Otherwise I will be relegated to being a hammer, a blunt instrument to throw at the legions of Grimm but unable to take on the real monsters.

    The story of the crow contract is an interesting one, the Uchiha were blessed with a multitude of summoning contracts over the years but we only ever defined ourselves by two of them. The cats, and the corvids. With a preference for the crow clan, the ruling class of the corvid contract.

    Legend has it that we were contracted to the two clans long before the Uchiha merged with the family of the Sage via his oldest granddaughter. In the misted times lost to history.
    But enough pontificating with myself.

    Time to grow a spine. I came out to this isolated forest for a reason. I’ve agonised over this scroll for five years. Hand refusing to sign it, knowing what reopening this bond represents.

    Girding my courage, I sign the contract with my blood. Not allowing myself time to talk myself out of it this time I bite my thumb, and slam my hand into the ground.

    “Summoning: Yatagarasu!”

    An explosion of smoke and ebon feathers, and a disdainful, soul-piercing caw greet me.

    “It has been a long while since you summoned us boy.”

    While not quite as ostentatiously large as the bosses of the Sannin’s contracts, to call Yatagarasu a ‘crow’ is akin to calling Beacon a ‘building’.

    Standing at least six feet over me, jet black feathers interspersed with grey, foot long ebony talons on the end of yellow scaled feet. And a black and yellow beak large enough to eat me in a few bites, wickedly sharp and slightly hooked.

    As I take in the now much larger boss summon, he turns his lethal beak rapidly in my direction. Heterochromic eyes, one the colour of blood, the other a sharp entrancing yellow lock on to me with a look of disdain.

    “Where are we boy? What godawful chakra-less wasteland have you banished yourself to here?”

    I rub the back of my head.

    “Ask your boss. It was the one to drop me here.”

    His eyes focus back on to me like a laser.

    “Shinigami-sama, deigned to give one such as you a task?”

    Ignoring his question, I drop to my knees in a formal bow of submission.

    “I apologise Lord Yatagarasu. In my ending of Shisui I did you a great wron-“

    “Get up you fool.”

    I rock back on my knees in surprise, before rising and brushing myself off as he continues to berate me.

    “We know Shisui committed suicide via idiot you damned lackwit. The clan were there when that bastard Danzo took his eye. We were there when you continued to ‘honor’ his legacy by torturing your brother into near insanity. You only had to call us! We would have helped bear your burdens!”

    “But Shisui was your greatest sum-“

    “Stop putting words in our mouths you barely formed hatchling. Shisui was our heart. You were our heart. Flocks contain more than one member. We loved you equally. Instead we lost both of you on that fools quest for peace regardless of cost. You restricted yourself to summoning the mundane members of our murder, neglecting those of us who wished nothing more than to help.”

    I bow my head in shame as he continues.

    “Shisui didn’t need to die. He killed himself for the good of your village. You were an instrument of suicide. Not a murderer. Trust that we, of all clans would know the difference. Murder is our domain after all.”
    And it was. At the unjust end of mortal life the crow will judge all takers in the end.

    “So what has the great lord tasked you with?”

    “To help bring balance back to this world, and to save it from the powers that have cursed it.”

    He looks around in utter disdain.

    “I’ve never seen a bigger fixer-upper. Where is the chakra?”

    “It doesn’t exist here. They use the raw power of the soul instead. In fact that’s why I called upon you. My powers are fluctuating and I’m worried.”

    He rears back in shock.

    “Raw unaspected soul power? The domain of the Shinigami? I can feel it pouring off you? How did they mutilate their souls so?”

    I shake my head.

    “They didn’t. They seemingly have no access to their physical and mental energy, in exchange they seem to have the ability to connect their souls together in an oath of protection. It brings their enemies down on them in amplified amounts, but it allows them to protect themselves to a much greater effect.”

    He seems more shocked if anything.

    “A truly unbound soul? Are they even mortal? The body is a vessel for the soul and it leaking out without form or aspect is unprecedented!”

    I shrug.

    “Feel free to turn your eyes upon me, you have my permission. I have both chakra and ‘aura’ as they call it. I’m probably the only example of that in existence.”
    He dips his beak at me as his red eye glows balefully and I feel stripped bare as he starts to mutter.

    “That’s impossible, the godhead? But why. It’s incomplete. Which vile godling would wreak such havok upon the soul. To expose all the negativity of the soul to leak into the world like this. To allow mortals to touch upon the power of the gods in some cruel mockery of the ancients.”

    His eye dims as he turns the other side of his head to me.

    “Get me any books or scrolls that deal with this ‘aura’ urgently. It reminds me of something from the ancient times. Something that we thought had died out a long time ago in the mortal realms. This “Remnant” is more than it seems. Shinigami-sama has not picked this world idly.”

    “I will, you have my word. However I also called you for your help in fixing my issues with taming my chakra and my aura, do you have any insights?” I try to keep the tone of pleading out of my voice.

    If a giant Crow can look evasive, then this is how it would look.

    “If my suspicions are correct you have a *much* bigger problem than you comprehend. chakra is mixed physical and ‘spiritual’ energy but as I’m sure you’ve worked out, the spiritual energy it uses is just the collected experiences of the singular existence. More correctly termed ‘mental’ energy. This ‘aura’ on the other hand is directly manipulating soul energy in raw form. It isn’t supposed to be possible. At least, not in the realm you previously inhabited.”

    He takes a few tentative steps across the clearing, pecking at the ground and examining the trees as he continues.

    “In the ancient times of the gods, mortals could use a form of energy that mixed mental energy with an expression of soul energy similar to a heavily restricted version of your aura. They called it ‘Qi’.”

    He looks deeply troubled.

    “But those times are a millennia of millennia ago and the power was stripped from mortal kind! You have all three energies warring inside you, and your aura is trying to unite with your physical and mental energy and is trying to purge your chakra to enable the merge, via form separation. Your chakra is growing in response to a threat and they are waging a silent war under your skin.”

    I feel myself pale.

    “But that will eventually kill me!”

    He dips his beak toward me.

    “You need to find a way to integrate your chakra with your soul energy in a singular form. The old Otsutsuki bastard could do it. That’s how the old geezer created matter from nothing after all. But no-one here likely knows how. And you don’t exactly have access to the archives.

    He turns his focus straight on to me now.

    “Be wary Itachi. The combined three core energies will trespass on the domain of the gods. I have no doubt Shinigami-sama has planned this, but to what end is beyond me.”

    He looks away from me.

    “You’ll likely need to learn Senjutsu to even have any chance, but I am forbidden by oath to the elders of the clan to teach anyone the arts of the sage. There are trials you need to pass now that you have re-signed the contract.”

    “And there are no exceptions for these exceptional circumstances?”

    He shakes his head mournfully.

    “No. Not after the war with the rabbit, and the schism with the Sage’s sons. None of the clans would dare teach a mortal the ways of the Sage without them passing the tests.”

    “Then what am I to do? Slowly die from the conflicting energy within me? Attempt to pass your trials while my capacity grows out of control and I head toward an early grave once again? My ability to manipulate aura is already crippled compared to the people here! My chakra unravels every time I attempt to make any progress!”

    He hesitates.

    “There has to be examples of physical and mental energy usage somewhere on this world. I don’t know where, I couldn’t begin to tell you. But someone on this plane must know how to achieve the final design you are looking for. I can taste it in the air. Look to the scholars of this place. Find out Why they have no access to their physical and mental energies, every living being has them. Find someone who uses Yin or Yang. Or something close to it.”

    “And these trials? Am I to know what I am being tested on?” I plead.

    “We will be watching. Do not disappoint us, these are all the words I can utter.”

    I rest my hands over my eyes for a moment, before burying a kunai up to the hilt in a nearby tree. Gather my courage to summon, only to have my questions answered with more questions.

    “Itachi, I’m sorry fledgeling, I truly am. I know how important your clan legacy is to you, but have faith. Death may come to us all and may not always be kind, but the Shinigami never gives an unwinnable task. Put a pause on developing your old skills and delve into new arts. You are effectively on the pathway to power overdraw like a Jinchuuriki, so learn how to leverage all of that power so it doesn’t kill you. Surely your time straddling the dusk and dawn has not left you without inspiration?”

    I snarl, before remembering who I am speaking to and drawing back my temper.

    “I will pass your trials and then I will get my answers.”

    He laughs, a rasping and cackling thing.

    “That’s the spirit boy. Fight, struggle and survive, the way of all mortals who endure. Be a shinobi, and not a wimp.”

    A cloud of smoke and a voice on the wind heralds his unsummoning.

    “Call if you need, the murder will answer, and don’t forget my books. I leave you a gift, and a warning.”

    A sizzling clawing pain in my arm erupts as a summoning tattoo inscribes itself up the underside of my left forearm. A stylised top-down image of a crow in flight, with a red and yellow eye looking up from the center of the wings.

    “Forget us this time boy, and you won’t be able to hide from our aid again. If it takes another five years to remember the scroll, get back in contact and stop being a coward? Well. I will send all my children to make your life a living never-ending series of pranks and crowsong.”

    Maybe this was a mistake, I’ve ended up with more questions than answers.

    But somehow, knowing the path make it a little easier. At least I know I’m not going crazy, there isn’t some inherent thing wrong with me that is unfixable. A self-destructive power and a slowly decaying physical presence?

    Not like I haven’t won through worse.



    I know who I need to speak to first. The man who started me down my current path. One of the people I most respect here.

    But first I need him to stop treating me like an unruly child. I’ve humoured him up to now, I’ve followed his rules. Now it’s time for him to reciprocate.

    “Headmaster.”

    He looks up from his paperwork with a perplexed expression.

    “Are you well Itachi?”

    I shake my head.

    I’m struggling to find my words. How do you say ‘I’m dying and I suspect you know why but you won’t tell me’ to someone you respect? I’m not academy student, I know the importance of information compartmentalization. But he’s holding back a lot.

    While I wrestle with my thoughts the headmaster is watching me carefully. Laying down his pen, he steeples his fingers, looking me in the eyes as he has a tendency to do.

    Even after all these years, having someone look me in the eyes is strange. It wasn’t the done thing in Konoha, for obvious reasons. And the only ones who looked me in the eyes after were the people I was there to end.

    “You are tense. Something has you worked up. Okay. Ask your questions. I will not lie, but I cannot promise to answer.”

    I shake my head.

    “I made contact with my summons.”

    He leans back in his chair, expression thoughtful.

    “The Corvids? You explained your contract previously, but you were under the impression the bond was severed.”

    “It wasn’t. I needed to speak to their leader. My powers are growing more and more unruly, I was barely able to keep my aura up as a shield during the fight with Pyrrha, and passive shielding is randomly switching between ‘barely there’ and ‘My own aura is providing me resistance training as I can barely walk through it it’s that tough.’”

    I sit down on the chair opposite him unbidden, and continue.

    “The crow clan has always been rumoured to be able to look into the soul of any being that made eye contact with them. They are inherently connected with death and rebirth. So lacking any other option I made the attempt.”

    He nods.

    “And I suppose this was successful, and your summon was helpful?”

    “In a manner of speaking. He was angry with me for leaving them for so long. But we made a tentative peace. The boss of the corvid clans is not an easy person to placate.”

    Unbidden I rub my new tattoo, which draws the headmasters attention.

    “And their verdict?” he prompts.

    I sigh.

    “In short? He believes I’m dying. It’s nothing to be worried about in the immediate short term. But for all intents and purposes my aura and my chakra are at war. And no matter who wins, I lose. Chakra wins and my soul gutters out. Or the more likely scenario, aura wins, purging my chakra and my body becomes no longer capable of sustaining my life.”

    He narrows his eyes and lets out a low hiss.

    “And their solution? Assuming they have one that is.”

    I shake my head.

    “I need to find out if anyone on this realm ever used any form of physical or mental energy instead of aura. The reason my aura doesn’t like my chakra is because my chakra is the refined combination of my physical and mental energy, and my aura wants those two energies for something. But he doesn’t know what. It’s unprecedented for a regular person in my realm to have all three energies accessible. We have no access to soul energy except in very limited circumstances.”

    At that he sinks his head into his hands looking at his desk.

    “As far as I know, and the reach of my knowledge is long, we never had an ability to use energy the same way you do, but there were at one-point users of another form of energy, with the power to bend and shape the world around them. It could be that this is what you seek. Though it was a lot more volatile and a lot freer with power than what you have demonstrated up to now.”

    I feel the stirrings of excitement within me.

    “James is arriving for the festival in a few weeks, I will gather my council of associates and discuss this matter. There are unfortunately oaths of secrecy and respect involved so I cannot give you any sort of answer right this second. If I do not have any luck I will point you at a few ancient ruins for you to check on the term break. There are static examples out in the world of non-aura based energies that might assist your search.”

    He's hiding something, and infuriatingly he knows I know he’s hiding something.

    Seriously, I would love to have introduced him to Danzo sometime. A conversation between them would be hilarious.

    “Headmaster, you wouldn’t hide something that could potentially save my life would you?”

    He smiles sadly at me.

    “If it was truly life or death, no, but at the moment it isn’t and there is a severe level of danger attached to even knowledge that the knowledge itself exists. You’ve never met some of the more virulent and powerful Grimm, and prey you never do. But there are some potential memetic hazards attached simply to the existence of some of the knowledge. I do not keep secrets idly Itachi.”

    He sighs, before continuing.

    “If it comes down to your life or not, there are some extremely risky measures I can potentially take. But they would likely cost one or both of us more than we are likely willing to pay so let’s leave that as option Z please.”

    I nod. My relaxation must have been noticeable as he smiles at me. Just the knowledge that he at least has some potential inkling of my problem is smoothing out some of the tenseness in my shoulders.

    After a while in silence, punctuated only by the tapping of his fingers on his keyboard as he works on paperwork, he finally speaks again.

    “Moving onto another subject. Your fight was rather disappointing. I know I asked you to fight in a way to reduce injury but you could have at least tried to hit the poor girl. We will be sparring every Tuesday and Saturday so that I can make sure you know how to leverage your increased levels of power properly. Poor control is no excuse for poor performance after all. ”

    I feel a cold shiver trickle down my spine at the look her turns on to me. The look in his eyes could be described as feral.

    Then he smirks as if he can read my mind.

    Damn interfering headmasters.
     
  6. DraconiusRexy

    DraconiusRexy Getting sticky.

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    ...How the hell do I start this comment? Well, might as well continue from here.

    An internal war huh? The Soul wanting to consume the body and the body wanting to slay the soul. It's death or major crippling either way. And it doesn't sound like a painless procedure to either fate. And the only way to prevent this is to either take life threatening trials on already borrowed time or scour Remnant for a very vague and obscure lead. Wow, he's really tied between a rock and a hard place huh?

    Well, we at least know, at least in this version, why Hagoromo could do everything he did and about what Humans did way before the consumption of the Chakra Fruit. With access to the energies of the mind, body and soul one could actually achieve godhood, at least to a degree.

    But, let's circle back to the two ways to prevent Itachi from dying a horrible death.

    I think this is going to lead to the Fall of Beacon where Cinder will attempt to kill Pyrrha when Itachi comes in last minute to fight off Cinder. But, due to Itachi's condition he can't actually put Cinder in the forever box and then when he's put on the back ropes, Pyrrha will do a speech and then Itachi will unlock the way to sync all of his energies to attain temporary godhood and either imprison or kill Cinder. Then Ruby will see her brother in such a vulnerable state and will use her eyes and destroy every Grimm like last time. Then Itachi will go into a coma and then it will be up to Salius to fill in the rest of book 3

    Now, remember this is only a theory, A Fanfic Theory!, so take everything I said with some salt. And Salius, if I'm right about somethings don't say shit! Anyways, keep up the good work and get some rest because I'm sure this chapter took some of your time.
     
  7. poyac

    poyac Sink

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    I love everyone's dialogue! And this is a suitably large challenge for Itachi. It seems like magic is pretty similar to the three energies thing. Or they are a different combination of them, I don't know.

    There was one instance where Ozpin said "prey" but it shouldve been "pray".
     
  8. prussian-granadier

    prussian-granadier Versed in the lewd.

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    do you think that the brother gods being the Osotsuki work?


    ancient powerful entities that aren't human and come from different dimension seed a world with power, let it flourish and then leave or are defeated forna long time ago

    salem being an ossotsuki works
     
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  9. aabbcc

    aabbcc Well worn.

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    So, interesting problem, clunky presentation.

    The crow meeting was good, the issue is largely with the buildup conversations, might have been a result of binging, but they felt repetitive, same wordings, same conversation beat, same talking points... instead of feeling like a progression where potential solutions keep failing and feelings of frustration build up, they feel like a reset to zero and repeat.
     
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  10. Salius

    Salius Getting sticky.

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    Hmmm, you might be hitting the nail with the issue that caused me to keep rewriting this over and over, struggling to interlink the three main beats of the chapter. After reading your comment i gave it a quick reread and you are spot on. I'll think on it.

    Definitely something i need to work on, thanks for the feedback!
     
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  11. DALucifer

    DALucifer (Verified Lurker)

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    so, will itachi have to deus ex - relic of knowledge - his way to survival, or will he find another way?
     
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  12. NuclearBirb

    NuclearBirb A mysterious birb.

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    I’m assuming magic is either pure spiritual energy, or an expression of a deity, one of which could actually theoretically help.
    chakra is physical plus spiritual
    Aura is pure soul, and it sounds like the final form is qi. Which uh, considering the power scaling of cultivator settings, which have multiple characters that could probably slay chaos gods; explains very well why the gods said “lolnop” no more.
    also, shocker, the brother gods are terrible and do terrible things. Truly only rivaled by the Greeks in terms of terribleness.
     
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  13. grime

    grime Not too sore, are you?

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    And Itachi, a canonical and renowned genius and prodigy, who has been in life and death battles with foreign shinobi with unique abilities and jutsu (with far more variety than RWBY's setting normally allows I'd argue), and has decades more experience than Pyrrha, who mostly fought in tournaments and not world wars, and he doesn't think of that? I mean, people make mistakes of course, but it feels like he makes way way more than Pyrrha does.
    I remember Itachi had exploding shadow clones variant, would've been perfect timing for that, too bad he didn't think of it, or his control is too shot to manage.
    Strange how he didn't think of this either, it seems obvious for a shinobi of Itachi's ability and experience, but I guess he can't use sealing scrolls to seal his gear anymore?
    I get that, and I get why you did it, but it still feels cheap, because there's no reason most of these characters should have the skills and tactics to outwit and rival someone who has actual decades of harsh combat experience (against other humans not beastial grimm), from a war torn world and the best training his nation can provide short of apprenticeship, just because they... trained harder? I mean are they all Kakashi level prodigies? Every single one? That's almost what it feels like, it's not just a powerscaling adjustment/boost, it's a skill and tactic boost that makes no sense narratively, and feels cheap.
     
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  14. Salius

    Salius Getting sticky.

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    Just to note one thing. The only things he got took by surprise with was the hardlight (He knew it was possible, but from his knowledge of her she simply doesnt use it) and the metal manipulation, again he didnt contextualise it at all. He's kind of stuck in a weird mindset where he wants to rely on his chakra skills, but theyre erratic as all hell. So he's between a rock and a hard place. One one hand he has all the chakra skill that he came to rely on, and it's all super unreliable. On the other hand he has Aura, but Aura is swinging between 'i could bat a jonin away casually' and 'Oh boy that kitten looks dangerous'. His mind is as powerful as it always was, as i stated previously, if the chakra shenanigans werent going on, he would roll damn near every character in the show. He's extremely wary in combat because up to summoning the crows he had no ability to put into context what was going on. He genuinely believed it was something he was doing wrong, which had knocked his confidence. He's actually quite a bit weaker at this moment in time than he was when he killed Tyrian, and cowed the underworld of Vale, because at the time he was still working at a Chuunin level of Chakra control.

    Don't worry too much about his power level, he won't stay at this level for too long, and this is about as bad as he will get. (Power wise at least) It's not all darkness in his future, a large amount of his issues are intentional, and not just from an authorial perspective either. Theres a lot going on in the background. But i can assure you, i want to see full strength Itachi vs cast of RWBY as much as you do!

    I really appreciate your review :) It's really useful for people to actually criticise! So thank you.

    Regarding the RWBY powerup, they've only really been boosted to between Rookie nine at the end of the Chuunin exam and team 7 at the very beginning of Shippuuden. For context, Pyrrha is roughly the level Naruto was at the Gaara rescue, before he pulled out the Kyuubi of course. I'll try to put it into context as i get chance to write the backstories.

    Please continue to let me know your thoughts though, as i said it's really appreciated!
     
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  15. grime

    grime Not too sore, are you?

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    It's all good, either way I've been enjoying the story, and while I admit I probably came off as nitpicking, it's just a little annoying seeing such a cool and powerful character feel so weak, but it often leads to a worthwhile payoff so I don't mind overmuch. The crux of my issue isn't so much his weakness, it's his seeming lack of skill, or forsight. Like, when you watch Naruto, even when following the titular (and much dumber) character (at least compared to Itachi), you see a lot of startling tactical complexity and planning happening on the fly in seconds, you see ninja adapting to each other's unfamiliar techniques constantly, especially in Part 1. You don't see anything on that level in RWBY, now, obviously since RWBY has superpowered combat and semblances, there would be much of the same tactical thinking, but I'd argue there'd still be less of it, especially compared to the world of Naruto, who's entire way of life is defined not by monsters and grimm, but by constant conflict, child soldiers, assassinations, and multiple world wars.

    But, it's somewhat forgiveable lol, since Pyrrha spent a while prepping for the fight, while Itachi basically went in blind.
     
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