Cosmos Quest (Naruto/Lupin III)

[X] You Are Like Breeze

It's difficult at first, ignoring all the other ambient chakra that's trying to get your attention, but eventually you settle yourself, and...

[embed=425,349]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YoAEUr0jDs8[/embed]

... the sky blossoms in your mind, and you comprehend.

The sky, the domain of Wind chakra, begins at the horizon, and ends only at the very top of the world. It encompasses every breathing life that walks on the planet, from the plants that are its mothers and daughters and best dancing partners to Menka and Yuji watching you from the deck to the people passing on the street in front of the shop to the thousands of Lollypops and Hyuuga and Nara and Akimichi to the Hokage to the Kages of the other nations and all the people and animals and plants within them to the people of lands beyond the Elemental Nations lands and life in teeming billions...

And you.

Movement without end. Strength without form. Power that can never be held.

Breaths beyond reckoning... attend, and understand: there is no air in your lungs now that has not at one time passed through the trees of Konohagakure, and through them the life you taste is the life of the Shodaime. This is the gift he gave the city he loved.

Breathe out, and in taking a fresh breath, know that you now contain an infinitesimal fragment of a sigh let out by the man who owned this shop of your parents before the Yamanaka ever came to Konoha.

Out, and know that in a century yet to come your great-great-great-great-great-great-granddaughter on the other side of the planet will draw in that very same breath in a new guise.

In. The sea is far from Konoha, and yet it is within you now and forever in this moment; you hear its waves crash against your heart. Indescribable joy touches you, and you try desperately to hold onto it... but the breath slips away, as it was meant to.

Out. The plants of the garden receive your energy with barely-audible pleasure.

In. She's asleep, in the city at Lightning's far eastern border; or she was when she let out this breath.

Out. And you are at peace and storming all at once.

From the top of the world, to the bottom, and everywhere between.

In your mind's eye, you are standing at a crossroads, with a signpost before you. The arms point in all directions.

None of the places named are familiar to you. Some lack precise distances. Some have distances but no named destinations. Others are completely blank; these seem to call to you the most urgently.

You know, somehow, that if you linger here, you will melt from Ino into something new, and soar away along every path at once to see them all.

You know you want to.

Such limits are no limits at all.

=

When you try to run back inside, overwhelmed by the desire to tell Dad everything, you trip over your own two feet. Your legs, it seems, have decided to be slightly more shaken by this revelation than the rest of you; if you hadn't caught the doorframe you'd have done a faceplant.

Dad holds up a hand. "Don't say anything, " he says. "Not a word."

And he hands you a notebook and pen. "Write down everything you remember. All of it."

Don't need to tell me twice.

Even as you fill the pages of the book, you know you're losing details. You know there is no possible way you can commit the enormity of the experience to paper, and the longer you try the less you remember yourself.

But the signpost and the crossroads stay with you. You aren't about to forget them anytime soon.

[X] Stop play-acting. Shika-chan does just fine playing as himself; now that you know all the rules, you're sure you can do the same thing.

Your next game is... kinda weird.

At first you think you're going to lose; your natural instincts lead you into making moves out of sheer curiosity, and Shika's quick to jump on that.

But then something strange happens.

You make a plan.

You've made plans before, obviously, when you were trying to be Goemon, but this isn't like those. Those were about going where Shikamaru would go before he could, turning his own methods against him. They were about taking his tactics apart piece by piece to keep him from winning. Their objective was always the same: not losing.

The room is silent except for the click of moved game pieces, and the cries of cicadas in the garden. A breeze drifts in through a rip in the thin shoji, but not nearly enough to counter the sticky heat. A bamboo wind chime sounds without.

Shika sighs.

Click.

The plan is tricky, very tricky, and you don't know if you can quite manage to pull it off.

... click.

But right now, despite yourself, you can't stop smiling.

Click.

Click.

...

... click.

Because you know, somehow, that this plan is important. It deserves its chance to live.

"What are you doing?"

His question startles you out of your reverie. You look up at him, and your smile broadens.

"Is there a problem, Shika-chan?"

He stares for a moment, then shakes his head and goes back to studying the board, muttering, "Troublesome."

A tiny thrill passes through you. Even if you don't win today, you confused Shikamaru again. That's your favourite kind of victory.

Click.

Fun as shogi can be, it's a slow game where the fundamental elements never change.

... click.

One's skill in it is judged by how well one can navigate and plan within the set parameters, and hold all possibilities in mind at once.

Click.

Click.

With real people? There are no permanent parameters.

Click!

They're always changing, whether they know it or not. Every day, Shika gets harder to surprise, and every day, you think of new ways to manage to do it anyway.

... click.

It's one of your favourite things about your best friend.

Click.

Shikamaru stares at the board.

Your giggle bubbles up from the bottom of your lungs and overcomes your voice as you declare your win.

"Glad to see you make such an advance, " Shikaku says from the corner. Your laughter 'eep's to a halt. You thought he was asleep! You turn to look at him and stammer out a thank you for his compliment. How long has he been watching you play?

"Advance?" Shika asks, and an evil part of you hugs itself in glee to hear an ever-so-slight note of anger in his voice. "She just went back to what she was doing before."

His dad frowns at him. "And this time, it worked."

Shikamaru's eyes widen (that is to say, they open all the way for once), and he gives you a slightly more appraising look.

"I wasn't sure you'd approve, " you admit to Shikaku in embarrassment.

"Hm?" he says, a ghost of a smile tugging at one side of his face, wrinkling his scars ever-so-slightly. "I told you before. Shogi is a mirror." He motions for Shika to move, and takes his son's place across the board from you. "If you never acknowledge your reflection, you won't master this game in a thousand years.

"Now, " he says, looking you dead in the eye, "let me see the true Yamanaka Ino."

It takes him longer to defeat you than before. Not much longer, but longer.

You think you understand now why Dad and the Angel think Shikaku-san's so cool.

[X] Uh, you kinda suck at swords, remember? Let's ask dad if there's another way to build up your chakra reserves.

Dad says the best thing to do, at your age, is do exactly as you have been doing; run around getting lots of physical activity, and taking naps every now and then.

"I know it's hard to wait, Ino, but the Academy is only a couple of years away, and right now your body needs to use all the chakra you have on your growth. By trying to get more you'll just tire yourself out for little to no actual gain to your reserves. At best you'll be a few inches taller than you would have been otherwise."

Well that sucks. "Menka said I could get stronger by learning kenjutsu."

Dad snorts. "I'll bet he did. Human or cat, some boys just can't resist the allure of the sword." He ruffles your hair. "If it really means that much to you, you should start going for runs in the morning. It'll improve your stamina and lay the groundwork for better training results later in life."

You hadn't thought of that. It would give you something to do before mom wakes up; mostly you've just been using that time to read and stretch. "That sounds fun. I could do it along the wall -"

"NO!" O.O

You blink, jolted by the vehemence in your father's voice. Is it just you, or does he sound almost... panicky?

"... is there something wrong?" you ask hesitantly. "I thought following the wall would be a good way to make sure I can keep track of how far I've gone."

"Yes, good thinking, " Dad says quickly, clearly worried he's upset you. "It's just that... usually only active-duty ninja go for runs along the wall. I know how much you loathe the company of genin."

"... well, that's true, " you admit. Still, you get the impression that's only the reason he thinks will convince you. Dad's got his own reason for not wanting you near the wall, you can tell.

He pats your head again. "You can still go running through the village, just as long as you stop before everyone else is up. I'll let Mom know not to worry if she finds you out of bed when she calls you for breakfast."

[X] Start going for runs along the wall. You've got to find out what Dad's hiding.
[X] Start going for runs through the village. Dad wouldn't keep stuff from you if it weren't to keep you safe.
[X] Bring someone with you! Who?
-> [X] Menka. He clearly wants to spend more time with you.
-> [X] Shirotama. He's pleasant, quiet company.
-> [X] Shikamaru. Tell him it'll be easier to coast once you guys're in the Academy if he gets a head start now.
-> [X] Chouji. Wait til those jerks who called him fat come to school and find out he can outrun them!
[X] Why are we even talking about this? The Kenjutsu Train Has No Brakes!
[X] Let's not go running or sword-ing. Dad did say it's best to wait until we're older to start building our reserves, right?

 

[X] Start going for runs through the village. Dad wouldn't keep stuff from you if it weren't to keep you safe.
-> [X] And bring Menka!

While clearly bummed that you aren't as taken with swordplay as he is, Menka really enjoys your mornings together. The two of you quickly discover that the hours before dawn are the best time to explore the village, as there're no adults awake to chase you away from cool places (aside from the occasional masked person, but they're always around and never do anything much) and there are plenty of cats around to show you said cool places.

Maika in particular seems to have a knack for finding neat stuff; you admit it was a bit tricky to get up that electrical pole, but it was worth it to see those cute baby birds. Even if you did have to break up a fight between Maika and Indara over whether or not to eat them - they're honestly lucky you were there, if you weren't they would have fallen for sure.

Sometimes it's just you and Menka running, though, and that's nice too. Before heading back for breakfast, you usually take a break to watch the sunrise from on top of the Hokage monument and have a good long drink of water, chatting together.

Menka's sensing is coming along at what Dad says is a normal pace; Menka modestly says he wouldn't be doing nearly so well without Dad's help. He also mentions that his whiskers are really useful in helping him triangulate distant chakra signatures.

"Aw, make me want the henge more, whydoncha?" you groan, leaning back to rest on your elbows in the warm sunlight.

"... Ino?"

"Mm?"

"Do you really want to be a ninja?"

"... why would you want to be a shinobi?"

You shrug. "When I grow up I have to be head of the Yamanaka Clan. Kinda hard to be head of a ninja clan without being a ninja."

Menka is quiet, but seems to accept this answer. "... do you think you'll try to get the Cat Summoning contract when you're old enough?"

"I don't really know," you say honestly. "I mean, I really like studying with you and your brothers, and I like meeting all sorts of cats, but... none of the cats I'm meeting are from the Fortress. None of them are cats that would be on the contract. I've never met Fluffy the Terrible, or whoever, " here Menka snickers, "and that Nekomata guy just sounds like a jerk! I wouldn't trust him to have my back in a fight."

"... would you trust me?"

"Hm?" You thought you heard him say something.

"Ino, I just wanna say..."

He falters, and picks some dirt out of his paw.

"... I'll stay with you, if you want, " he mutters. "Even if you don't get a summoning contract, or you get it with someone else, I'll help you become the best ninja in Konoha. I promise."

The sun bathes the two of you in warmth, and makes the whitewashed buildings below glow a sweet melon-pink.

You hug your friend's tail.

"Make it 'best in the world' and you've got a deal." :3

-----------

Your fourth birthday is coming up fast. What do you want?

[X] A book on works of art from around the world.
[X] You've been alive for, what, four years now? And you own two pieces of jewellery, only one of which was given to you as a gift? Dad. I am very disappoint. A lady deserves to sparkle as much on the outside as she does on the inside.
[X] I'm sure you clever people can come up with a delicious write-in! :3

In non-birthday-related news, what would you like to do with your free time? Don't worry, you're still practising calligraphy and the koto, and playing shogi with Shika and his dad (I kinda got tired of doing obligatory Four Accomplishments check-ins, can you tell? )

[X] Teach Chouji shogi! You can't believe Shikaku-san wouldn't think of him.

[X] That Wind experience was the shit! Let's go for another one!
-> [X] The soil in the garden
-> [X] The water in the pond

[X] Expand your sensing range
[X] Ask mom if you can learn about mixing poisons and remedies now. You're four! That's totally old enough to know how to kill a man. Or at least how to keep a man from killing you.

 

[X] By your write-ins combined, I am Captain Birthday!

Chouji bakes you a cake that was in the recipe book you gave him for his birthday. Scratch that; Chouji bakes every cake that was in the recipe book and insists you get first taste of every single one of them.

Mom gives you a miniature version of her own hairdressing kit, now that your hair's long enough to pin up. The hairpins in the kit are utilitarian things, designed to be concealed by the completed style rather than to enhance it like the wolf-pin hidden in your room, but still. You don't have to futz around with little-girl clips and pony-Os anymore!

Dad got you the Kurogiku-hime artbook, signed by Mikage-sensei herself. So that's why he wouldn't buy you a copy when you saw it in the bookshop last week. Lucky it was too big to fit under your shirt or you'd have two copies, now.

Menka got you real kunai! And a real (if slightly battered) Bingo Book! And a real-

Mom gasps. "Menka-kun, where did you get a tessen?!"

"Where did you get a Bingo Book?" Dad asks, seemingly unable to decide whether to be concerned or impressed.

The masked kitty sniffs. "You would not believe what gets thrown out in this town. I checked the publishing date on that book, it only came out three years ago! The fan was bent, sure, but I found it behind a blacksmith's! You'd think if anyone would have tried to fix it he would." He turns to you and smiles. "Tsumujikaze-san reforged it for you. I asked him what to get a girl who doesn't like swords and he said these are the kind of weapons ladies use." He ducks his head, and asks hesitantly, "Do you like it?"

While Yuji-sensei covertly informs Mom that he made sure all the gifts were clean before letting Menka wrap them, you examine the steel war-fan. It's heavy, but still lighter than your bokken; its height is about as long as your dad's hand, and when unfolded it's almost a foot wide. Painted in the centre is the Yamanaka family crest, blue-green on the grey lacquer.

"It's awesome, " you declare, pulling Menka into a hug.

The tessen is clearly the odds-on favourite for best present of the day...

... but Shika-chan's gift gives it a run for its money.

"Found it in the library the other day, " he says, handing it over.

The book isn't even wrapped, but considering what it is, it doesn't have to be.

What you hold in your hands is, according to the cover, an Annotated World Atlas of Art History. You open to a random page, and aerial photographs of the vast, ancient cemetery of Araki in Wind Country are laid out before you.

Each of the mausoleums hums with a tiny chakra signature of its own. When you poke one, it spirals up (Seals? This small?!) to fill the page with sketches, photographs, notes from the journal of its chief excavator, translations of the proto-kanji carved into the walls.

You turn to another page. An in-depth look at the Expressionist movement of Rain Country. An interview with the painter of the picture on the left-hand page.

Earth Country's long history of genius jewellers. Interpretive-Dance Country's textile work and set design. Honey Country's sculptures and distinctive architectural style. All of it is now at your fingertips.

It's beautiful, beyond anything you could have hoped.

It is also, without question, the work of a master sealcrafter. The author mentioned on the cover is Nara Hizume, who if you recall correctly also wrote the Child's Geography of the Elemental Countries you read over and over until it fell apart.

Small wonder it didn't last long; it was published over forty years ago.

If Shikamaru 'just happened' to come across this in his family library, he must have been taking a leisurely stroll through the lowest cellar vaults.

"Shika..." you say, profoundly moved.

"Don't try to give it back, " he warns, "we already put a new book in the space it was in before. It'd be a pain to have to reshuffle everything."

Well. You hug your prize. Happy birthday to you.

=
[X] May This Be Love

You try to do what you did before, focusing your thoughts on the water, thinking about what it means to you, trying to feel its shape. There's always just a hint of it on the breeze...

But it's no good. You keep coming back to the Wind. Which is cool and everything, but c'mon! You wanna move on to water!

Finally, you come to a decision.

The sky is everywhere, right? That means I'm still sitting in it. Of course it's gonna be hard to get to know water if I'm not in it.

Thus resolved, you run upstairs, change into some dirty clothes, and go out to sit in the pond.

The water comes up to your shoulders when you sit cross-legged on the bottom. The koi are scandalized; first your mother let a family of cats move in and now this? They freak right the hell out and start zooming around, trying to get away from you. You ignore them for now.

For a long time you sit, wondering why it is that people say water's cold; you've never found it to be. It's always just been... water-temperature. Sure, ice and snow are cold, but once they become water they're fine. It's the Wind that makes you chilly, just like how Fire makes you hot. Here in the pond, you've been perfectly comfortable ever since you first sat down. You're just wetter than you were before, and maybe a bit wrinklier.

The fish slowly return, circling around you. Apparently they've forgotten you weren't always there.

A few minutes later, when the rain starts, so do you.

[embed=425,349]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u83xIXliIXY[/embed]

Home.

There is no question as to why this should be so. It merely is.

Swelling leaping dancing falling flawless enveloping reclining, you are the Always-Bending Neverbroken, and you shall take yourself wherever your heart could desire; under land, over land, through the hearts of all who live, on the misty breeze, rolling from pure lakes in the mountains down in your veins to the wild, mighty, endless, unknowable sea, the cradle of your solid walking-world.

The Wind animates you, of course, but Water?

This is what you are.

More. You need more.

A gift(breath), and you submerge.

Your whole body sings in happiness. You're right where you belong, and where you belong is wherever you happen to be at the time.

You can feel the fish beside you, but neither you nor they really mind; now that you're properly in the water, you can see that they're just doing their thing, like you're doing yours, and that's cool with you both. They have their water and you have yours.

And it's all the same Water!

Like the Wind?

No. Better.

The Wind can link you to other lives.

Water links you to everything.

You feel it all; life, and death, and everything between; the empty and the full; the chronos and the kairos; the world yielding gently under your touch, telling you all the secrets, confessing the locations of every treasure, every beauty, every move the world makes.

If you were dead, you would still have water.

If everyone were dead, they would still have water. Not a lot, but some.

If no one had ever truly lived at all, there would still be water, of one kind or another.

It was here before us.

It will be here after us.

We live, we die, and the water remains.

And it loves you.

"If you would make an enemy, make an enemy of the mountain. The mountain will forgive; the ocean, never."

=

So. If the Wind was your paths, all of them, what then is the Water?

You open the door, dented and familiar and lemon yellow of all colours, and take your seat.

If you are the traveller, should it not be a traveller as well?

You lean the leather seat back, and stare up through the hole(sunroof) at the grey sky.

A Chariot.

You smile, and put your feet up on the dash.

By your decree, let it be so.

"Ikou ze, J-"

=

HUMAN-FORM YUJI-SENSEI INTERRUPT

You are yanked from the water by the collar of your shirt.

"YAMANAKA INO! WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE DRAGONEATER DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

You blink the water out of your eyes, and immediately wriggle free of the stranger's grasp. You've got to tell dad there's an intruder! You run for the house.

"Do not dare think of it!" Your path is blocked.

You take up a modified, humanoid version of a stance you've seen Menka use. It doesn't quite work, but you don't know any human kata, so it'll have to do. "Who are you?!" you demand, hissing.

"I am your sensei, Ino-dono, and you will explain forthwith why Menka had to wake me up from an afternoon nap and send me out into the rain to keep a foolish monkey girl from drowning!" >: <

... oh. You relax slightly. That makes sense. No man can sound that elegant and that pissed off better than Yuji-sensei. You're surprised his hair is black (when Menka transformed he made his white, like his fur), although you did anticipate the topknot and forelocks. Samurai-kitty, after all.

"I was meditating, " you say sullenly. The thunderclouds overhead rumble.

"You were underwater for three minutes!" Yuji looks less angry now, more hurt. "If Menka hadn't been watching and come to fetch me you could have died."

"And become one with the water, " one of your thoughts says dreamily. You tell it to shut up.

"I'm sorry," you say, cheeks hot with shame.

Idiot! If you die, who's going to help run the shop and make sure Shika and Chouji grow up to be cool? How're you supposed to see the world if you're dead?

All of a sudden, you get a face full of kimono.

After a moment's thought, you work out that Yuji-sensei's hugging you. Huh. Who'd'a thought he had it in 'im? :3 You return the hug and rub him in circles on his back.

Somehow that seems to snap him out of it; he pulls back and it's like the hug never happened. Once again, he's your restrained and refined language teacher, albeit humanoid and drenched to the bone.

"There're towels in the bathroom down the hall, " you offer.

"Then let us avail ourselves of them, " Yuji says with great dignity.

----------

You're four, now. You'll start at the Academy when you're six. Whacha wanna do til then?

[X] Like there's even a question! We've got Wind and Water, it's time for Heart Earth!
[X] Um... maybe we should ask Dad what the hell all this elemental meditation stuff is about?
[X] Hm. Is there any way we can get tessenjutsu lessons?
[X] Expand your sensing range.
[X] Let's get some reading in.
-> [X] The Bingo Book
-> [X] The Annotated World Atlas of Art History
-> [X] The Kurogiku-hime artbook

 

[X] Hm. Is there any way we can get tessenjutsu lessons?

To your dismay, it turns out the only people in town who've made extensive study of the use of war-fans in combat are the Uchiha.

Apparently, the lollypop emblem is supposed to be a fan. Huh. You'd think a clan that used to be the terror of the nation could've kidnapped a decent graphic-arts department at some point.

Your mom teaches you a few of the defensive forms, but sadly that's the extent of her knowledge.

"It's a shame onee-sama isn't here, " she says with a sigh, flexing her fingers. "She made it a point never to give a man wooing her the slightest of tendernesses until he had managed to defeat her in a duel. She used to dispatch suitors by the dozen with her fan."

That gets your attention. "Your sister used to fight people?" You try to imagine a woman who looks like Mom murmuring 'excuse me, pardon me, I'm sorry to trespass' as she stalks down a hallway, smacking aside men armed with swords and boxes of chocolate.

"My cousin, yes, " Mom says, "and does so even to this day, I would imagine; the rite of single-combat is a sacred one among our people."

"Are the Takazono samurai, then?" you ask.

A blush touches Mom's cheeks. "Oh, no, merely a very old merchant house. Though often we've intermarried with the lesser nobility."

When you ask if it might be possible for the two of you to go visit Mom's cousin, her smile flickers. "I'm afraid that's quite impossible, Ino."

"Why?" You're a little disappointed at the air of finality in her voice; you're sure as hell not getting a Lollypop sensei, so why can't you go learn from a family member?

... is it just you, or does mom look... ashamed? Too refined to stare at the ground like a child, her eyes turn to the autumn leaves drifting by the window.

"... when I left home to marry your father, " she explains in a low voice, "my eldest brother had me banished." Her voice is level, but you can tell from the twisting arpeggios inside her that it's taking a lot of self-control to keep it that way.

She smooths out a wrinkle in her skirt. "If I ever return, it will likely be for onii-sama's funeral." She looks back at you, and smiles. "That said, there's nothing to stop you going to visit by yourself when you're older. I still keep in touch with many of my relatives; you could stay with them rather than the head family."

[X] "I don't want to go; if my Mom's not good enough for them they're not good enough for me!" >: < If you want more tessenjutsu, you'll just have to find another way to learn; no bones about it.
[X] Man... they're a bunch of assholes, but... tessenjutsu! Short of calling an Uchiha 'sensei' or defecting to Sand, the Takazono are your best bet to acquire mastery.
[X] Well that's a mindfuck. What kind of people take in banished kitties out of the goodness of their hearts, then turn around and banish your mother? Even Shikamaru likes your mother! Something's up here. You wish you could go unravel the mystery.

[X] Let's get some reading in. The Annotated World Atlas of Art History

'Art', it turns out, has a very inclusive definition to ninja.

Thus it is that you find yourself staring at a series of artists' renderings of the Seven Legendary Swords of Mist.

Their abilities are not listed, which is a shame; you're definitely curious as to how an axe attached to a mace constitutes a 'sword', not to mention why it looks like one of the bandaged blades has scales if you squint at the picture and turn it on its side.

The one wrapped in seals is especially intriguing; you wonder what kind of crazy shit it can do in addition to chopping people up. Maybe you can whap people on the head with it and immediately capture them alive in a prison-scroll. Or maybe it can release a surprise barrage of kunai or shuriken to extend the sword's slashing range, so that even if you jump back you'll still be cut. Ooh, maybe there's a Sword Summoning contract! There're stories that when a blade is used often enough over a long period of time it gains a soul, so why couldn't you summon them like any other living thing?

They're all thoroughly nasty-looking specimens, to be honest. The one with the circle cut out of it is probably the most appealing of the lot, and it's basically just an elongated butcher knife.

And there's none of the... presence, that you remember from the sword. When Goemon-san held it aloft, you almost felt as though there were suddenly four people in the room, not three. It was inviolate, almighty.

As you gaze at these sketches, there is no sense that these weapons are powers unto themselves; no feeling that even in the hands of a novice, they could upset the balance of a battle completely. They are wielded by masters, perhaps. But they are not masterpieces.

You huff in frustration. Maybe you have to be present to properly analyse swords, or something. You turn the page.

Well, now. This is a little more like it.

[X] Keep reading the Atlas. This thing is a goldmine of ideas!
[X] Practice your tessenjutsu by pitting it against Menka's kenjutsu.
[X] Learn to walk without rhythm (Earth meditation).
[X] Hang at the park. No telling who you might meet, after all.
[X] Dudes. Seriously. You have all this free time that you're going to lose when you start at the Academy. Where my batshit-crazy write-ins of brokenness at?

 

You smile and tell Mom a visit sounds interesting. Privately, you wonder what on Earth would make someone banish her of all people. You're going to have to have a chat with this 'onii-sama' character...

[X] Practice your tessenjutsu by pitting it against Menka's kenjutsu.

Holy crap, cats are nasty fighters.

You know from reading Ninja Princess Kurogiku that there exists a segment of the population who believe in something called a 'fair' fight. You've never actually met one of them, but you feel a little more sympathy for their plight now that you've had to go up against Menka.

The bastard is just as fast as you are, sees every opening you have, and isn't shy about exploiting them. On the rare occasions where it seems like you're starting to do okay, he'll trick you into fucking up again, or toss out a momentary genjutsu to disorient you.

The worst part is that the attacks come from all sides, so you're forced to hear him coming (thanks to your sensing) at the exact moment when it's too late to block.

Every inch of you aches from getting whacked by a bokken - your wrists most of all, since despite your inexperience your speed actually lets you catch a surprising number of the blows - and you're sure you're going to have bruises tomorrow.

Stupid shiny birthday present. Stupid dad making me practice in the forest instead of the backyard. >___< You have no idea how you're supposed to walk home after this.

"Rise, Ino-dono, " Yuji-sensei says sharply, poking you with the sheath of his sword. "A human on her back is meat in a fight with a cat."

"I think I liked you better when you were correcting my grammar, " you grumble, struggling to your feet.

"Grammar is grammar and war is war, " the white cat sniffs. "While they are equally important, the instruction of each requires a distinct methodology, in order to ensure excellence in the student."

"Sorry, Ino, " Menka says with a grin. "You're not gonna be the best ninja in the world if you can't even hold off an apprentice-swordscat."

"Hai, hai." You groan, and take up the 'stance' again. Yuji insists that you always start from a relaxed posture and a closed fan. Tessenjutsu is an art that depends on quick reaction times and deception of one's opponents, and there's no person less likely to come across as 'a harmless, soft-limbed ojou-sama' than a girl who's visibly anticipating an attack.

Intellectually, you get that this is the ideal way to train.

Your nerve endings, on the other hand, are of the considered opinion that your brain is a colossal dumbass.

"One more pass, I think, " Yuji-sensei says oh thank you sweet merciful Water for making him see sense.

Menka nods, and scampers off into the bushes.

You don't know how long you have until he leaps out, but it's getting close to suppertime, so you guess it won't be like the third pass, where he waited twenty-eight minutes just to make sure you weren't going to be alert.

So. Plan time?

[X] Piccoloton: DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODGE~!
[X] If he can play dirty, so can you. Quietly gather some of the dirt from the ground in front of you and get ready to fling it at his eyes the moment he shows up.
[X] Hm. Maybe you could get the Wind to tell you when he's moving, before he's in sensing-range?
[X] Oi, dream guys! Little help?
[X] Write in

 

[X] Hm. Maybe you could get the Wind to tell you when he's moving, before he's in sensing-range?

You close your eyes and strain your ears with all your might. For endless minutes, there is nothing, but the hum slowly builds, pulling your mind into the wider world, oh, hi Menka-

WHACK!

Fuck! Not even close.

"A valiant effort, " Yuji says sympathetically, pulling out the healing salve your mother made you and handing it over. "Do you know why you failed?"

"Because meditation takes too long?" you reply sulkily as you rub on the balm. You really hate losing.

Yuji shakes his head. "That is only part of the reason." He sighs. "Elemental meditation isn't within my realm of expertise, but I do know that it's a focusing tool that was originally developed for senjutsu. It isn't the same thing as sensing, despite the similarities; those few non-Sages who take up the practice do so in order to make more believable genjutsu, or to attune themselves more fully with their elemental affinity in order to improve the efficiency of their ninjutsu."

You frown. "What's senjutsu? I've never heard of it."

He explains about nature chakra and Sages and why it is your dad didn't want you calling on any of the elements while you were focusing on them.

"In any case, " he concludes, "meditation cannot take the place of your sensing. The point of the technique, if meditation can be said to have a definite goal, is to come to understand your place in the world and open yourself to true awareness of the planet. And by focusing on that larger reality, understanding of the smaller, more personal truth can be easily lost." He licks a paw. "Tell me, did you feel Menka coming?"

You nod.

"Did you care?"

You hesitate. Then sigh. "... no, I didn't. I felt sort of... half-glad he was going to hit me. It was weird."

"And that is why we don't employ elemental meditation during assassin-evasion training."

The cat stretches. "I have a meeting with Seido-kun's mother to attend; I presume I can trust you to get Ino-dono home safely, Menka?"

Menka nods, and sheathes his sword.

[X] If you hurry along the street that goes by Hokage Tower, you can get home in time for supper.
[X] Your bruises have bruises. Let's take this slow and steady and stop off at one of Chouji's family's restaurants. The maître-d' can call Mom and let her know we'll be late.

 

[X] If you hurry along the street that goes by Hokage Tower, you can get home in time for supper.

As you pass the Tower, one of its doors opens.

It doesn't bang open into the wall, or anything so unrefined, but... it's a very near thing.

Menka, in a would-be casual manner, starts to walk on your side closest to the Tower.

The figure doesn't seem to be aware of you until he accidentally cuts you off. Then he stops, and looks down at you, as though surprised to remember that children exist.

It's Weasel.

And no matter how bored his face looks, what you can hear of his chakra makes you want to throw up.

What do?

[X] "Are you okay?" Let it never be said that Yamanaka Ino beats around the bush.
[X] "Hey, you're that Uchiha heir guy. Have you convinced your friend to stop encouraging your fangirls yet?" Distraction no jutsu!
[X] Deploy the hug. He may be a Lollypop, but he clearly needs one.
[X] By all means flee; cling to your wretched life.

 

Holy shit but he's in a lot of pain. You panic; what makes people feel better when they're sad? Um... a hug! Hugs are always good!

[img width=600 height=400]http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y86/MIBlackburn_d6/vlc2006-11-2122-30-58-14.jpg[/img]
(Found on photobucket)

[X] ^ The G-Rated Equivalent of This.

Oof!

Why that... He stepped out of the way! >: <

"What the hell, man?" you growl.

"What do you want?" he asks tonelessly.

[X] "To hug you, you ass! You looked like you needed one!"
[X] "What, do the Uchiha not have hugs on their planet? You guys suck more than anticipated!"
[X] Play up cuteness. "What did I do wrong? Dad says my hugs make him feel better when he's sad!"
[X] Write-In, Like a Thief!

 

[X] Play up cuteness. "What did I do wrong? Dad says my hugs make him feel better when he's sad!"

"..." For a second, something in Weasel's expression alters, and to your surprise, you realize he thought you were going to attack him.

Menka is glaring at the older boy, but eases up a bit after you stroke his fur. Thank heavens for that; doesn't look like Weasel is looking for a fight. Quite the opposite, in fact.

"What makes you think I'm sad?" the dark-haired boy asks finally.

You snort. Is he kidding?

[X] "Maybe that poker-face works on the other Lollypops, but I'm no mere Uchiha! Yamanaka Ino's senses never lie! You're sad and you need hugs." *authoritative nod*

[X] "I notice you haven't said you aren't sad." Better not let him know your identity straight off. He might already know, but if he doesn't, no need to give him the information.

 

[X] "I notice you haven't said you aren't sad."

... man, this guy's about as talkative as a blade of grass. What the hell kind of day has he been having?

Finally, he seems to decide he's done staring, and without so much as a word of farewell, turns to walk down the street.

"Hey!" you call after him indignantly, rushing to catch up, Menka hot on your heels.

"Little girls shouldn't hug strangers, " Weasel says, eyes still fixed on the path ahead of him.

You blink. "Why not?" In your mind, it's a pretty simple formula; hugs make people happy (well, yours do, anyway, you think, remembering Chouji's vicegrip-o'-death), happy people are more likely to be friends with you, hence you should hug everyone who needs a hug.

"Because you might embrace someone who doesn't deserve your affection, " he replies over his shoulder.

... oh, wow. Is he seriously saying...? Geez, what a drama queen!

[X] "I don't think you're so bad. You're definitely the least unpleasant Uchiha I've ever met."
[X] "That's a risk I think is worth taking. I live on the edge." 8)
[X] Write-in

 

[X] "I don't think you're so bad. You're definitely the least unpleasant Uchiha I've ever met."

You huff. "Anyway, who cares about 'deserving'? Hugs are hugs. When people are sad, they should get hugged."

"Was that Rouga girl sad, then?"

Son of a bitch, he remembers that?

"Of course she was!" you reply without hesitation. What, just 'cause he's having a bad day he's allowed to say other people haven't? "Your friend talked to her like she was nothing, and you just kept toying with her! She was a selfish girl, sure, but that doesn't mean you get to-"

-fast-!

You almost bump into him, so quickly does he come to a halt and turn around. He stares down at you, backlit by a streetlamp, expression cloaked in shadow.

"... you're a very kind girl, Yamanaka Ino."

Menka hisses as he stretches forth a hand. You don't flinch, and are rewarded with a single soft pat on the head.

"And for that reason... you will never become a true shinobi."

He turns to go.

[X] Who does this kid think he is, Goemon-san? Prepare the tessen! Ino-Style Sennen Goroshi~!
[X] ^_^ "Ah, is that how you see it? I wonder..." Wander home, whistling a jaunty tune.
[X] XD Damnit, this guy missed his true calling as a member of the Konoha Amateur Dramatics' Society. "Oh, stop saying useless crap. Come back here and take your hug like a man."
[X] Write In

 

[X] XD Damnit, this guy missed his true calling as a member of the Konoha Amateur Dramatics' Society. "Oh, stop saying useless crap. Come back here and take your hug like a man."

He waves without looking back. "I promise to collect from my brother shortly, Yamanaka-san."

And he vanishes in a small poof! of smoke.

... he was a bunshin this whole time?! Argh-! Well, that explains why he didn't want a hug.

Still. Uchiha Itachi, is he? Keepin' an eye on you, I think. You turn back toward home. If one of your clones has the chakra of a fresh genin, who knows what kind of mischief you could get up to in the flesh?

Your dinner is cold when you get home, but Mom doesn't mind reheating it for you.

Later that night, you fall asleep thinking of

[X] What it means to be a ninja. That's two separate people now who've implied it's not a suitable career path for a nice girl to want to take - hell, five if you count Jiro's look of pity, Tsumuji-san's disparaging remarks, and Menka asking if it's really what you want. You need to know more...
[X] Maaaaaaan~! It seems like everyone's getting fun special abilities except you lately. Hafta do something about that.
[X] Nothing in particular, timeskip to tomorrow-yeeeeeeeah, who the fuck am I kidding, no one is going to pick this.

 

[X] Maaaaaaan~! It seems like everyone's getting fun special abilities except you lately. Hafta do something about that.

~~~~~

You don't understand, at first. The dream - dreams? - each individual bit of what you're seeing looks like it has no connection to any other part. There's a pretty blonde lady rescued at sea by a sleazy-looking guy; there's a man in a trench coat yelling at the guards of a massive palace; there's a shabby-looking leader sitting on a throne, a ravishing lady by his side, a vassal standing at attention, a manji-banner hanging on the wall behind him; there's an old man examining a crown and appraising it before a crowd of all sorts of interesting-looking foreigners- wait is that Goemon-san?

Hey, and the foreign guy is over there with that other group!

The two bigwigs in the room - you can tell because their tailors share a sick sense of humour and they're trying to make their voices sound deeper than they are naturally - start acknowledging one another with grand shows of trust and declarations of friendship. One of them says that the other's word that the crown is genuine is worth twice the word of the old appraiser.

This sets the poor old fellow off, and justifiably so, in your opinion; friendship and trust are all well and good and everything, but if the painting on that dude's wall is anything to go by you wouldn't trust him to identify his own ass with both hands.

... wait, why is that guy ordering Goemon-san to beat up the old guy? Why is Goemon-san doing it? And the foreign guy, too! >: < Get him out of that fishtank, he's gonna drown!

Finally, thank heavens, they kick the poor man out the front door. You decide to follow him; you're not sure you want to be around Goemon-san after he pulled that shit. Yeah it was an order, but he's strong enough he doesn't have to work for total jerks if he doesn't want to!

"Tche! Those assholes really got me good." The old man rubs the side of his face. You check your pockets to see if you have a handkerchief or something to-

... hold on. What did he just say?

You see him unlock the front door of a shop and enter; you run to catch it before it closes again. Quietly, you peek inside.

Holy crap, twins! There're two of the old guy!

One of the men is tied up in a trunk, looking more than a little panic-stricken; the other stands over him and apologizes for the inconvenience.

Then, with a sound like packing tape being ripped off a cardboard box, the standing one takes off his face holy shit it's the man in red!

What the fuck! What the actual fuck?! You can do stuff like this without the henge?

Okay, sure, those guys back at the auction weren't exactly ninja material, but you are (no matter what Weasel says) and you didn't see through the disguise.

A henge, with no chakra cost... ;D

You're back in the throne room dream. The leader is laughing like a loon, and hops up to stand on his chair, flailing childishly.

A cord drops from the ceiling, he pulls it, and where did the room go?

When did Goemon-san and the foreign guy get here?

Rrrrip~!

Wait, the leader's the guy in red too? That makes no sense! He didn't sound anything like red-jacket guy or the old man!

Back at the palace, the guards seem thoroughly unimpressed with the trenchcoated man's insistence that he be permitted entry to keep 'Lupin' out.

Lupin is the red guy's name, right?

Eventually, the poor guy has to give up, and stalks off.

... only to return ten seconds later at a dead run.

"Was I just here?!"

The head of the guard glares down at him imperiously. "Back for more, are you?"

>: <"YOU IDIOTS! That was Lupin! He was right here and you let him get away?! What the hell kind of training do you have that you can't even spot an internationally-wanted criminal when he's right in front of you?!"

"WHAT?!" Embarrassed rage. "AFTER HIM, MEN!" As one, the guardsmen rush past the trench-coated man.

He grins at their backs.

"Have fun! Don't let him get away~"

That sneaky bastard!

Oh, looks like you're back with the blonde lady on the ship. >: < And that ape in the suit who was with her earlier has her pinned down!
You're about to run over and hit him with your fan when she decks him and flat-out flips him over herself, sending the jerk flying. Cool! So she's tough and pretty!

"You creep!" she yells.

"So fascinating~!" he cries. "Do it again~!" :///D And he runs toward her.

"Wh-wh-wha-wha-wha-?" she stutters, dodging his every hug attempt and burning shoe leather to get away from him.

You shake your head in disgust. You're four years old, and you're already cooler than this old fart will ever be. He should know his place and not try to go after someone who was clearly born to be both an awesome lady and an awesome dude's wife. You really, really hope he isn't Lupin in disguise; that would suck.

Finally the blonde lady (Miss Meri, was it?) manages to ditch the creep and ducks into the bathroom. She shudders, reflexively rubbing her arms as if she thinks he's still on her, and makes a noise of revulsion.

Poor lady.

"That filthy old coot!" >_____<

...
.....
.......

... y'know, Lupin might actually be as cool as Goemon-san. O.O

~~~~~

When you wake, you decide to spend the day on:

[X] Earth meditation
[X] Research at the library:
-> [X] The Takazono and their place in the history of Fire Country
-> [X] The Uchiha
-> [X] So, if there are ways to disguise yourself without using chakra, why hasn't anyone mentioned them before? What else can you do without it?
[X] Seeing if you can change your voice like that! That was what really sold each of those performances, the voices.

 

[X] Seeing if you can change your voice like that! That was what really sold each of those performances, the voices.

In all honesty, you were expecting this to be a little harder.

Well, okay, there's no way in hell you're gonna be mimicking dad any time soon - your vocal chords aren't anywhere near done growing yet, and trying to go too much lower than your normal speaking voice sends you into a painful coughing fit. But you get Mrs Nara and Mom down pretty quickly, and copying Yuji-sensei is how you learned Nyango in the first place, so he and his brothers aren't that much more difficult; thank heaven they're a tenor and two altos.

But there's something about Shikamaru and Chouji that's harder. Their voices aren't lower than yours yet, and you've definitely got the most boyish speech-patterns of all of them, but they've got a weird quality to them that you can't replicate.

Not yet, anyway.

Still, this is a hell of a lot more progress than you thought you'd make today, and it's only 2 pm. Whacha wanna do with the rest of the day?

[X] Hit up the library, duh! We need to know more about
-> [X] The Uchiha
-> [X] The Takazono
-> [X] Chakra-free shenanigans
[X] Earth Meditation.

 

[X]Chakra-free shenanigans

You aren't quite sure what kind of books would have the information you're looking for, so rather than go to the librarian you make a beeline for the card catalogue. Flicking through the notecards inside, you narrow down your search to the words 'chakra', 'disguise', and, on a sudden hunch, 'costumes (theatre)'.

The children's section is, as always, a bust, but for once the adult shinobi books aren't much better. Some of them acknowledge that, with specialized formulae (or the faces of one's fallen enemies, which is just creepy), one can make realistic masks, but they don't say how. Every mention of them notes that since the development of the henge, they've been rendered obsolete.

You aren't convinced. Yeah, the henge is awesome, and you still want some of that, but what happens if you get hit on the head on an undercover mission and lose your concentration? The mask the red jacket guy had didn't come loose even when he had his whole head dunked under water.

Fortunately, the theatre-design books (what few of them there are) are happy to fill you in. You wince at the names of some of the ingredients; you have no idea what half of these words are, and some of the names you can read you don't know where you're going to get.

You go back to the card catalogue and start looking up chemistry stuff, grumbling as you do so. You hate having to start in the kid's section; when the kid's section contains something you don't know, you're doing it wrong.

As it turns out, several of the ingredients can be found in stuff you can get at the grocery store. Some of them are edible, even. Well that's a relief; you don't want to put anything too gross on your face, after all.

Still. There's something... not right, about these books. They talk about how the elements of chakra relate to each other just fine, and they talk about how the other elements, the real elements, work, but none of them seem to make any effort to bridge the gap between the two; there isn't even a general disclaimer that says 'Ninjutsu Doesn't Really Use Fire Or Earth, It Just Uses Your Own Chakra Expressed In Those Terms', or 'The Last Time Someone Tried To Combine Magical Punching With Science, They Blew Up The Old Moon; We're Still Paying Off The Mortgage On The New One', or anything.

Oh, well. Maybe one day, thanks to you, they'll have a warning.

You memorize the necessary lists from the chemistry books, and take the theatre books up to the counter. They're really neat; there's one that's entirely devoted to set design, and it has fold-out colour photos of stages and set pieces from around the world. Another is a biography of Himekawa Ayumi, a Leaf kunoichi who at one time ruled over the village's entire intelligence network from the Tokonatsu Palace Theatre in Tanzaku Gai. Ooh, and the ones on costume design have instructions on how to sew your own clothes! There's even a battered old paperback called Forty Plays In Forty Nights: The Most Popular Plays Of The Five Great Elemental Nations.

You're a little miffed you're only just now finding out about all this; the only theatre stuff you've heard about before this is kabuki, which dear god could not sound more like the place attention-spans go to die if it included complimentary watch-paint-dry goggles in the ticket price.

These plays? These plays have kenjutsu, grappling, mistaken identity, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles, and fireworks indoors.

And all within an hour-and-forty-five-minute runtime. Suck on that, elitists!

So whacha wanna do for the next six months or so? Pick three.

[X] Experiment with the 'false-face' formula; see if you can change it to make the resulting stuff more or less malleable, or of a darker or lighter colour. Practice feature-sculpting, and getting the masks on and off quickly.
[X] Practice your voice-modulation. Try to fix the vocalization issue that makes you continue to sound like a girl even when you don't.
[X] Earth meditation! Seriously, GM, what the hell?
[X] Tessenjutsu practice.
[X] Read some more about the treasures and arts of the world.
[X] Get down with
-> [X] Shikamaru
-> [X] Chouji
-> [X] Menka
-> [X] Dad
-> [X] Mom
-> [X] Yuji-sensei
-> [X] yo' bad self

 

[X] I Feel The Earth Move Under My Feet

... this is one is harder than the last two.

Not different, really, just... harder. And slower.

You wriggle your toes in the mud, wondering why you aren't getting the same oomph as from Wind or Water. You're being shown the ways you're bound to the planet itself, for crying out loud; is the novelty wearing off, or something?

No, it's not that, exactly.

Do you hate the Earth, then?

Maybe. You sulk. If anything, the Earth doesn't seem to like you.

It doesn't, always, it admits.

You are shocked. Everyone likes you!

The planet replies that it isn't a one, it's a planet.

So does that mean it isn't going to help you?

It seems surprised you think it has all that much choice in the matter. It's just a simple servant of the cosmic order; it can't change what gravity does or how magnets work for anyone but a handful of the population, those with an Earth affinity.

In all honesty, though, it wishes you would give this ninjutsu stuff up. You're going to get yourself killed.

You point out that death by ninjutsu is a pretty bitchin' way to go.

The Earth calls you an idiot. Says you're a nice girl who deserves a clean slate, who shouldn't have to be bound to the past.

You grin. It thinks you should just be bound by it, then?

Yes! It sounds almost exhasperated.

(You wonder, not for the first time in this conversation, if you're really talking to the Earth, or just its personal assistant.)

So it wants you to be bound to it? Wah! You're four years old and what is this. You can't get married to the dirt! Mom, Dad, come help! )

It seems almost embarrassed for a second, then snaps out of it to holler that that's not what it meant.

You change your mind. You don't hate the Earth.

[embed=425,349]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3J-yA5TY_k[/embed]

Sometimes it's nice to have a sense of direction.

=

[X] What The Water Gave Me

When you lay down your pen from describing Earth, you decide it's about time you asked.

"Dad? What's all this meditation stuff for?"

He finishes his tea in a final, long drink. "What do you think it's for, Ino?"

Okay, this game, then. "I thought it was to help figure out my elemental affinity, but then you wanted me to go back and work on Earth after we already found out it's Water. Then I thought it was for sensing, until I tried it during tessen practice and found out why that's a terrible idea." You take a deep breath, and think about how you want to phrase what comes next.

"Yuji-sensei said that elemental meditation was originally developed to help with senjutsu training, " Dad looks surprised that you even know what senjutsu is, "but it's also used for other stuff that isn't senjutsu, so it must have its own point; something it shows you that helps with senjutsu, but takes its own final route to some other destination. You said all of this was leading into a clan technique, and since you're not a sage-"

The pair of you share a smile that says, how would you know if I were?

"-my guess is that there's a special family genjutsu that requires elemental meditation, " you conclude. "You can't teach me the mind-switching stuff because there's no way to find out before practicing it if I'll kill whoever I switch with, so you're gonna teach me the family genjutsu instead."

Dad beams. "Incorrect."

You slump. Of course.

He pats your hair. "The reason you haven't learned the Mind-Body Switch Technique yet is because no one learns it until they're at least ten. Medic's orders. It has nothing to do with your mental static."

Goddamnit, that's his answer every time you want to learn to use your family superpowers! But the most basic one? A C-rank? Even genin can do C-rank jutsu. "Why can't I do any cool stuff until I'm older?!" you whine.

"Excuse me?" Dad asks, glaring down his nose disapprovingly. "If you're forgetting, you're in the middle of learning something cool right now. Unless I should wait until you're in a better mood...?"

You quickly straighten up and shake your head. You didn't do all this meditation for nothing.

Dad gives you a that's-what-I-thought nod.

"Do you know the parable of the daimyo and the maidservant, Ino?" he asks in his story-starting voice.

"In the days before the hidden villages were founded, the daimyo of Earth was one of the most powerful men in the world, and well-known for the size, quality, and frequency of his feasts.

"One day, during a luxurious luncheon, there was a serious earthquake that collapsed the roof of the dining hall and crushed several dozen Earth Country nobles to death.

"When the families of those who had been attending the feast came to their ruler and begged him to tell them if their loved ones had escaped, and to release their bodies for burial if they had not, the daimyo found himself stymied. There had been no formal seating plan; how was he to determine who was who amongst the rubble and the gruesome mockery of tangled limbs? How could he be sure of returning the bodies to their rightful families?

"It was then that a maidservant spoke up, and began to point out where each guest had been seated, without any hesitation. In some cases she even managed to specifically note people who had left the hall before the earthquake began and when.

"Later, when all of her claims had been confirmed by personal effects found on the corpses, the daimyo was intrigued to know how she came to remember where everyone was sitting.

"Oh, it was simple, she replied. She merely had to arrange the tables in her mind along with what everyone had been served for their dinner, and everything else just fell into place."

Dad pulls a book off the shelf, and hands it to you. The cover reads, The World Inside The Gourd, with no subtitle or author listed.

"A room or house rebuilt inside a person's mind and filled with things or people that trigger recall of important information is called a memory palace." Dad's voice is more serious than you've ever heard it.

He looks you dead in the eye, and before you can look away he's flickered through a series of handseals.

Your eyes widen, and you gasp.

The living room is gone.

You and your father are at the park; you're sitting on a bench, he's standing balanced on the teeter-totter, one foot on either side of the fulcrum. The sky above you is clear and sunny, with the occasional cloud drifting by.

Surrounding the park on all sides is a wall, with hundreds of ninja standing shoulder to shoulder along its top.

You wave, for lack of anything else to do. A few of the shinobi wave back.

"A world designed to hold and defend multiple memory palaces, " Dad says, "is called a dream complex."

On cue, flags spring up above the treeline in the village beyond the park, flapping in the light breeze.

You stare at dad.

"... I thought you said this wasn't going to be about genjutsu."

Dad shrugs. "It isn't." And, hopping down from the teeter-totter, he scoops you up and easily leaps the containment wall in a single bound. The guarding shinobi turn as one man and salute, then go back to watching the park.

The village is... well, it's still Konohagakure, but it's kind of creepy; there's no one around, despite the nice weather. And the signs on businesses seem to be different from what you remember; the ice cream store is a block and a half down from where it usually is, and it has a C in its logo instead of an O.

"Where are we?" you ask.

"The great weakness of genjutsu, that no illusion can match reality perfectly," Dad lectures, racing through the streets, "is the greatest strength of world-sculpting.

"No person's view of reality is the same as anyone else's, for the simple reason that no mind is the same as any other mind." With catlike grace he launches himself to the rooftops and leaps across the chasms between them. "All have received different life experiences; all process information in their own way."

You're halfway across town now. One of the closer flags seems to beckon you, but dad ignores it. "This means that when one enters the mind of a genjutsu target to do one's work, one is at the mercy of their suspension of disbelief; one must maintain the finest control of every detail to keep them unaware longer than a few seconds, doing as much as possible to simulate the real world.

"A world-sculptor has no such limitations."

And then the two of you are flying.

"No kai or physical injury can remove the subject from this world, because it is not the Yamanaka Clan's special family genjutsu. Rather, it is our ultimate expression of genjitsu. When people outside of the Yamanaka still practiced the technique, scholars called it 'the world inside the gourd'.

"To us, it is 'the throne at the heart of the mountain'."

"Dad?!" You cling to him - in a totally cool kind of way, not in a little girl kind of way. "Where are we?!"

"In my mind."

The pair of you descend, coming to rest atop Hokage Tower. Dad smiles at you. "Well? How do you like it? The view isn't the same as the real one, but..."

You look out at the panorama, but are too distracted by all this crazy new bullshit to really take it in. "How does this connect to the meditation?" you ask. "If you say the possibilities of what you can do in here are endless, why limit that to an approximation of the real world?"

Dad gestures at the city around you. "What you're looking at now is one of my earliest designs; I didn't want to disturb you your first time out, so I decided to take you to one of the Konohas. I have other complexes that are a lot wilder, believe me.

"Regardless, " he continues, "in order to construct a new reality, you must first have a proper understanding of the one you were born into. You can't draw a landscape if you don't understand the concept of a horizon, and you can't build a world if you don't understand the elements as they relate to you and each other."

You agree with that, though you have to say, privately, that you think it'd help more to know about the real elements than the sparkly magic ones. And math. You think some good clean math would streamline this whole operation.

But, well... you hesitate, a new thought striking you. Anyone can learn to use math; nobody can be aware of exactly how someone else relates to the elements. This whole deal seems to be about custom modifications, with a side order of making the whole thing impossible to hack.

Dad bites his thumb, and traces a line of blood in the air. A doorway springs to life before you both, and he leads you through.

"Now, as I said, memory palaces store information; dream complexes house and defend memory palaces..."

The garden is warm and lush, with plants beyond number bearing fruit and flowers that sparkle like cut gemstones. Your father plucks an apricot the size of your head, and tosses it to you.

"... and the matrix builds them all."

Within the depths of the crystalline fruit, you see shadows of a beautiful sunset, of a city with a thousand pink paper lanterns, of a castle in the sky.

You briefly wonder what would happen if you tried to eat it.

"What the meditation has given you, " Dad says, taking a seat and wrapping an arm around you, "and shall continue to give you, when you're old enough to move on to Fire and Lightning, is the level of comprehension necessary to transform your mind into a powerhouse of creation. When your training is complete, you will be a walking second reality, carrying labyrinths and armies and libraries with you wherever you go."

He looks solemn.

"Welcome... to the real world."

 

[X] Timeskip

The sky is bright, the wind is fierce, and Yamanaka Ino is about to take on the shinobi public school system.

You are psyched. You've been waiting for this day for ages; the day you finally get to start putting your skills to the test, making new friends and learning new things. You even pulled together an awesome outfit, just so everyone knows from the first day that you mean business.

Your Mom isn't quite sure she agrees that a red haori, blue hakamashita and grey hakama constitute an 'awesome' outfit for a six-year-old girl, but she seems rather touched that you decided to include the white rose-shaped hairpin she got you for your last birthday, so she doesn't kick up much fuss. She just reminds you to take out the hair dec and leave it with the teacher before sparring.

You make sure all your kunai and your tessen are secure in the pockets and holsters you had sewn into your sleeves, check your lunch for the third time (it is still a very satisfactory pb&j on whole wheat), and finally announce to mom you're ready to head out.

The schoolyard is already crowded with students and their parents by the time you arrive. You not-wave to a very groggy-looking Shikamaru as you approach; he returns it. His mom smiles at you (kyaa~!) and asks if you're excited to be starting school. When you answer in the affirmative, Shikamaru is, predictably enough, given rather broad hints that he ought to feel the same way.

He gives you a look that asks, Do you have to encourage her?

I'm not gonna lie to your mom just to accommodate your sluggishness, dude, your glance replies.

Chouji seems nervous as all get-out when he arrives, but calms a little bit when he sees you and Shika. He compliments your outfit; says it makes you look like one of the lady scholars in the Capital (he and his dad went there for vacation last summer).

Far sooner than you were expecting, the bell rings, and it's time to go in. Mom gives you one final hug and, with tears at the corners of her eyes, waits at the gate until you enter the school. You walk backwards the whole way, waving to her and smiling, knowing that if you cry too it'll just make things worse for her. You get off one final frantic hand-jiggle before the teacher manages to shut the door and get you to catch up with your class.

All thirty of you walk single-file down the hall (with you at the end) until you come to a classroom marked 1-A. Inside is an amphitheatre-like space, with a central staircase leading down to the 'teaching stage' and the blackboard, and long shared desks at different levels.

You decide to have a seat

[X] At the back with Shikamaru and Chouji.
[X] In the third row up, next to the Hyuuga heiress. She looks like she's about to pass out from nerves.
[X] In the front row, next to that brightly-smiling pink-haired girl. She seems even more excited to be here than you are.
[X] In the fourth row, next to that absolutely adorable little black-haired boy.

----------

A hakamashita is the knee-length kimono-shirt-thing worn tucked into hakama, before you ask.

 

[X] Here Comes The Sun

"Hey, guys? I'll catch up with you at lunch."

Chouji looks a little hurt, but when you jerk your head in the raven-haired girl's direction and he gets a good look at her, he nods. Shika, already settling in to catch up on the sleep he missed to get here on time, doesn't acknowledge your words.

Trotting down the stairs, you call, "Mornin', Hyuuga-chan~!" The girl 'eeps!' and stares in terror as you approach, struggling to get her expression back under control. Ohmygod lookit her squishy pink little cheeks! ;D She's like a child-princess in a storybook.

"Love the hair, " you comment with a grin, taking the seat next to her. "Lots of girls our age can't pull off a cropped cut, but on you it makes a great impression. Feminine, but daring."

The terror gives way to utter bafflement. Oh, right, you haven't introduced yourself yet.

"I'm Ino, " you say, winking. "You got a first name, or am I gonna have to stick with Hyuuga-chan?"

"... ah!" She suddenly blushes profusely, inclines her head in a halfbow of greeting, and rattles off a formal introduction. "I am very pleased to make your acquaintance! I am Hyuuga Hinata. How do you do?"

Oh, no. If the poor girl is this shaken by just you, how's she going to deal with those rude boys in the row ahead of you? You can clearly remember thumping each of them for something at least once.

[X] There's only one cure for acute anxiety: gentle teasing! "Quite well, that I am. This one has the honour of being Ino, of the Yamanaka Clan, that she does. A very good morning to you, Hinata-dono."
[X] Awww, the poor girl's wound tight as a drum. The Hyuuga are probably one of those really strict clans mom's always worried about offending. "Ne, Hinata-chan, there's no need to be so formal. We're all kids here; just let it ride."
[X] "Fine, thanks. How're you?" They're just first-day jitters. She'll calm down eventually.

 

[X] "Ne, Hinata-chan, there's no need to be so formal. We're all kids here; just let it ride."

"... okay," she says to her desk. "... Ino-chan," she adds quietly, after a moment.

A small victory over the forces of shyness, but you'll take it. You ask her if she has any brothers or sisters in the Academy; she tells you about her older cousin and mentions her baby sister. You feel a little twinge of envy - must be nice having lots of relatives and being all together in a compound. You have cousins, too, but they're all adults. You're barely aware of their existence.

You make small talk for another few minutes until the teacher enters and class begins.

Twenty minutes later, you have come to a startling conclusion.

School is awful.

You wouldn't have thought it was physically possible, but this place both sucks and blows.

At first, you blame the teacher. What the hell is Daikoku-sensei's problem? You're supposed to be learning new things, not going over old stuff! Why are all the books and handouts written in kana? Why was he so damn impressed that you know the kanji for your own damn name? Why is the geography lesson on Fire Country? We live in Fire Country!

But then you take a look around, and realize how much trouble everyone else not named Shikamaru is having.

Well, Shika and that pink-haired girl. But even she's taking lots of notes and asking lots of questions.

Hinata, for her part, seems to be doing all right as far as understanding the things discussed goes, but she's a very slow, methodical writer with very fine penmanship, which means by the time she's completed the mini-quiz Daikoku-sensei handed out everyone else has already handed theirs in. She blushes profusely when she realizes what everyone is giggling about; apparently when she starts writing she focuses so much she forgets what's happening around her. Daikoku-sensei doesn't mind, and compliments her on her lovely handwriting.

When lunch comes you practically stampede for the door. Food! Intelligent conversation! A break from this agony! Freedom!

You rejoin Shikamaru and Chouji under an oak tree. Chouji brought lemon-snap cookies to share, so the three of you while away recess munching and cloud-watching.

"Maybe the civilian classes are less boring," you wonder aloud. "Maybe the shinobi ones aren't challenging on the bookworm side of things 'cause we're expected to fight for a living, not think."

"School is always going to be boring for you," Shika says with a sigh. "You're smarter than everyone else."

"Not you," you object. "And not your dad, or the Hokage, or my dad-"

"I meant other kids," he interrupts, rolling his eyes.

"Kids don't count," you scoff.

"Thank you for proving my point," he replies, stretching.

Thankfully, the afternoon classes are much meatier.

Sagara-sensei leads you all back outside the instant attendance is taken and makes everyone stretch. Then he starts going through a few taijutsu forms with a teacher's assistant, showing you what even a few simple moves can do in to enhance one's ass-kicking. At the end of the demonstration, he has his assistant slowly run through kata while everyone copies him. Sagara-sensei himself, meanwhile, wanders from student to student in the crowd, critiquing people's form and in some cases adjusting them by hand.

You come under such manhandling more than once, but the guy who's got it worst is Shika. Grumpy about being in a class he can't sleep through, he appears to have undertaken a campaign of passive resistance, in the hope that it will eventually prove such an inconvenience to teach him taijutsu that the school'll let him drop the course.

Sagara-sensei... doesn't seem particularly inconvenienced. He just turns Shikamaru into his own personal mannequin, folding his legs and arms into whatever position they need to be at a given time.

Shika's brow furrows.

Sagara-sensei grins nastily at him.

=

Suzume-sensei's class is the easiest A in the history of the public school system. Its official name is Kunoichi Infiltration (as distinct from the optional general Infiltration class that both boys and girls can take in the later years of the Academy), and the only reason you can think of that it's mandatory is that Noble clan girls are never allowed to have any fun, ever, unless it's forced on them.

You come to this conclusion when you realize that Hinata is genuinely ashamed to know who Kurogiku-hime is and that Honda Mami is the name of the actress who played her in the stage adaptation last year.

"I shouldn't spend so much time on frivolous pursuits," she says. "Neji-niisan never reads comics; he's always meditating or training."

"Well, good for him," you say, "but you're not Neji, you're you. And it's ridiculous to expect you to be Neji. Hinata should be Hinata." You turn to the blood-type compatibility test in the magazine you two were given. "I have most of the series, if you wanna borrow a volume or two sometime."

"Ehh? I couldn't possibly-"

You wave a hand. "If you're worried your parents'll be mad, I'll show you how to sew a secret pocket into your bookbag so you can hide 'em."

"That won't work on father, he has the Byakugan," she protests.

... that is the single most intriguing objection to lying to one's parents you've ever heard.

Chouji and most story protagonists you know of would say that lying to your parents is just inherently wrong, because they love you and you should trust them. Shikamaru would say there are reasons to lie to one's mom and dad, but on the whole life is easier when you don't.

Hinata's main problem with lying to her old man seems to be that she thinks it can't be done.

And that just makes you wonder what she would think if you proved it could.

=

The next few weeks of classes follow a predictable pattern; the scholarly courses are lame, to the point that you actually write to the principal in your most polite hand to request that you be skipped ahead a year in them, and then the afternoon is where your real learning happens.

After about a month, Sagara-sensei seems satisfied that even the weakest members of the class are now ready for individual spars.

His first pick is Chouji vs Shikamaru, apparently hoping that the human statue will recall the lost art of self-locomotion in order to ensure that his best friend doesn't get a zero and ruin a thus far perfect taijutsu record.

You could have told him it's a waste of time; Ino-Shika-Cho, motherfucker. You don't turn against each other for anything. If you'll do it for something small, what's to stop you doing it for something big?

Sure enough, they immediately make the sign of reconciliation and sit right back down.

If Sagara-sensei is disappointed that his scheme fell through, he doesn't show it, but goes right to the next pair of names.

"Uchiha Sasuke vs Yamanaka Ino."

Aw, crap.

You're not an idiot. You may have little respect for the Uchiha clan as an entity, but you do know that in every encounter you've ever had with a Lollypop, you have never won once.

Still. That's never stopped you from provoking their wrath before.

You doff your haori and toss it over Shikamaru's head, then trot down to the sparring ring.

The boy waiting for you there is an adorable little moppet with fluffy black hair. You sat next to him on the third day; polite boy, by Uchiha standards - very interested to hear you 'own' a cat. Apparently his dad doesn't approve of pets, so if he wants to play with them he has to go visit Neko-baa, whoever that is.

Sasuke looks confident, and well he should; unless you're mistaken he's one of the best in the year in taijutsu.

"Begin!" Sagara-sensei says.

What do?

[X] Go on the defensive. You may not be able to win this fight, but that doesn't mean you can't get through it with your dignity intact. Make a game out of seeing how long you can keep out of his grasp.

[X] Aw, hell, what have you got to lose? This may be your one and only chance to punch a Lollypop in the face and actually land the hit.

[X] Dream guys don't fail me now!

 

[X] Be where the fists aren't.

Sasuke comes at you right away, but you hop the leg he swings around to trip you and duck to the side to avoid a punch that would doubtless have blacked your eye. He doesn't let up, though, turning right around and bringing his other leg up into a knee-strike that just barely misses you as you leap back.

His movements are kind of pretty, you notice; they don't look much like the Academy forms you've been learning. Maybe it's just that they flow together better than you've seen from other kids in taijutsu class.

He's slower than you, you can tell now, but in the enclosed space of the fighting ring your speed doesn't count for as much. It remains to be seen if he can keep up this pace, but in the meantime, you have to say this is... fun. Really fun. ^-^ It's like dancing with a very enthusiastic partner. You could get used to-

OW. Goddamnit, getting punched hurts like a motherfucker! Sasuke obviously can't strike with the same force Menka can, but still, ouch.

Right, think of it as an incentive to keep moving.

"Get her, Sasuke-kun!" a purple-haired girl calls from the sidelines.

"GO INO!" Chouji roars suddenly, and you smile. Ino-Shika-Cho. Gotta love it.

"Kick his ass, neko-buta!"

That's a bit more of a surprise.

You met Inuzuka Kiba in your second week of school, after you'd made your rounds of the classroom and finally settled in with Shikamaru and Chouji again. He was in the back row with them, until the two of you had an argument over whether or not a) you smell like cats, b) this is a good or bad thing, c) you smell like a girl, and d) whether or not Kiba's partner Akamaru minds any of this.

(He doesn't. Kiba is just jealous that you give better scratches.)

Now Kiba's in the front row where the teacher can keep an eye on him and his little dog too, and you got a note sent home about your temper.

Apparently half a month sitting next to Sasuke has somehow convinced the wild boy there are worse qualities a person can have than smelling like a girl. You wonder what they might be.

Well, you have a cheering section. What now?

[X] Don't disappoint them; let's liven up this dance with a little offensive action. Nail 'im right in the kisser!

[X} Don't disappoint them; let's liven up this dance with some new steps - namely, Sasuke's. Steal that style!

[X} Don't disappoint them; let's liven up this dance with TROLLING~ BEAUTIFUL TROLLING~!

 

[X] Walking In Your Footsteps

To your disappointment, your audience doesn't appear to see what you're doing. As far as they're concerned, all you've done is deigned to go on the offensive, finally.

Sasuke sure as shit sees it, though, and it's freaking him right the hell out. Sagara-sensei seems to be paying a bit more attention now, too.

It's small, at first; you start out with Academy-approved punches and kicks, just 'cause you know you're gonna get marked lower if you can't prove you know them (such bullshit). But then Sasuke does this half-turn thing that swings his fist around backwards to swing at the side of your head, and it's just so cool-looking that you have to try it.

And then he goes and pulls a feint-kick-flowing-into-real-kick, and you're not about to let that one go without jacking it.

The pair of you continue like this for about a minute and a half. Your moves aren't anywhere near as polished as Sasuke's, but at your top speed it doesn't matter. Now that you aren't running away, all that undulating grace has gone into punches and kicks.

You take a few hits, sure, but you have your mandate. Kiba and Chouji wanna see you kick this guy's ass? Then they'll see it, and so will everyone else.

Finally, Sagara-sensei calls for the pair of you to stop, and asks both of you to make the sign of reconciliation.

As you do so, Sasuke frowns in confusion, and asks in a whisper, "Who are you?"



... whacha keepin' mum for? The kid asked you a question.

[X] Write-in

 

[X] Every Breath You Take

You give him your darkest, most malevolent smile.

"Soon enough," you say in his voice, "I'll be you."

... and then you dissolve into giggles. You tried to keep a straight face, you really tried, but his expression! He couldn't have looked more horrified if he'd just found his parents' dead bodies.

"Oh, man, you should have seen the look on your face!" You pat him on the back and grin. "I'm Ino the Fifth, of the Yamanaka Clan."

Sasuke scowls, and stomps back over to where he was sitting before. Out of the corner of your eye you can see the purple-haired girl from before glaring at you.

"That was ace," Kiba crows as you sit back down. "Wouldn't've thought you had it in you, neko-buta. What the hell did you say to him to get that reaction?"

"I told him the kind of stuff your sister does for ten mon behind the Yakiniku Q," you shoot back with a smirk.

"Fuck you too," he replies cheerfully.

It's nice makin' new friends. :3

Later that day as you're heading out for home, you see Sasuke talking to someone by the gate. As you get closer, you realize to your dismay that it's Shisui. Ugh; Sasuke did mention an older brother, but...

Sasuke glares at you as you pass. Shisui just smiles."Hello, there, Yamanaka-chan."

You wince. Very few people call you 'Yamanaka-chan', and all of them are cops.

Great. They dropped the IQ test portion of the qualification exam, I see.

"Sasuke tells me you led him on quite a merry chase today," he says, oblivious to Sasuke's squawk of protest.

What say?

[X] "It was really fun. I hope Sakkun and I can play together again sometime; he's a great dance partner." :3

[X] "Yeah, I figure if I'm ever going to be able to evade the cops at will, I should start small and work my way up."

[X] *shrug* 8) "Not all of us have to poach our best friend's leftovers to get attention from the opposite sex, Shisui-san." *gives Sasuke a peck on the forehead*

[X] Write-in

 

[X] "Yeah, I figure if I'm ever going to be able to evade the cops at will, I should start small and work my way up."

Shisui looks vaguely uncomfortable at that, as though he wants to laugh but he can't at that kind of joke when there are witnesses.

[X] Slyly- "Of course, if Sakkun's not good enough to stop some random girl from stealing his fighting style, he's probably not going to get very far..."

"I told you!" Sasuke says, pointing at you insistently and glaring at Shisui. "She's got a Sharingan!"

"Sasuke," Shisui says patiently, "people can still copy taijutsu moves and learn things from observation without a Sharingan; it's just a lot harder."

"I don't find it particularly taxing," you say, shrugging. "I mean, you look at stuff and listen to stuff, and then you do it. How else do people learn to do anything?"

The wild-haired teen looks impressed. "You must have a really excellent control of your body, then, Yamanaka-chan." He claps a hand on Sasuke's shoulder. "Ah, you're gonna be a lucky guy later on in life, Sasuke, with a girlfriend like that."


[X] Laugh. Uproariously. You and a Lollypop? "Sakkun's not my boyfriend."

[X] Frown. C'mon, Shisui, you're only six. "Sakkun's not my boyfriend yet."

[X] Snicker. "Do you really think you're the best person to be giving Sakkun relationship advice? You can't even get a date hanging out with the Clan Heir."

[X] Look incredulous. "Dude. Did you just make a sex joke about a six-year-old girl? ... aren't you supposed to be a cop?" *take Sasuke's hand and pull him away from the potential molester*

 

[X] Go for the low blow

"She's not my girlfriend!" Sasuke says indignantly.

You snicker. "Do you really think you're the best person to be giving Sakkun relationship advice? You can't even get a date hanging out with the Clan Heir."

Shisui staggers back as if struck. His mouth drops open, and his left eye starts twitching in disbelief. For a moment he's speechless; the only sounds he can make are little choking noises. Finally he manages to blurt out, "S-so cold..." And he retreats to a corner of woe.

Sasuke blinks in surprise. "You broke him."

"Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy."

"... are you sure you aren't some kind of Sharingan thief?" Sasuke asks suspiciously. "'Cause there is one in town; I heard dad talking about it with mom."

"Why would I want someone's eyes?" you ask, cocking an eyebrow. "I already have two perfectly good ones."

"Then do you have some sort of Byakugan?" he persists. "You don't have pupils, just like a Hyuuga."

"I have pupils!" you protest. "You just can't see them 'cause of stuff I can't talk about with people outside the clan. And no, no Byakugan."

His line of inquiry exhausted, Sasuke seems to be wondering what the hell he can say next.

"... wanna walk home together?" is what he finally decides on, for lack of anything better.

[X] "Sure." Lollypop or no, Sasuke seems like a nice enough kid.

[X] "Nah. It'll just make everyone in class decide we're boyfriend and girlfriend, like Shisui-baka did."

[X] "Sure! Ne, can we hold hands?" Sure, you're too young for boyfriends now. But there's no reason you can't start laying the groundwork for future developments. ;D

 

[X] People Will Say We're In Love

"You sure that's a good idea?" you ask, smirking and tilting your head to the side. "We might give our classmates the wrong impression. I can hear that little purple-haired chick now," you add, clasping your hands and pushing feigned heartache into your eyes. "'Sasuke-kun... that's the kind of girl you like?!'" You bite your sleeve and toss a hand to your forehead. "'Noooo~ it can't be true! Promise me you won't see her again!'"

Sasuke makes a sound somewhere between disgust and amusement. "How do you do that?" he asks. "You really sound just like her."

You wink. "Trade secret."

"So... what, you can just mimic everyone?"

"Not grown-up men," you admit. "Not yet, anyway. Everyone else, though, yeah."

"Hn." He looks you up and down. "Teach me."

"Fuck off," you reply good-naturedly, "didn't your mom ever teach you the magic word?"

"Pleeeeeeeeeeease teach me?" he begs, folding almost instantly. Guess his Uchiha instincts haven't fully asserted themselves yet.

"Hmmm~" you hum. "Tell ya what. If you beat me in a footrace to the park with the mountain-shaped slide, I'll see if I can't teach you a trick or two."

He's off like a shot without so much as a "Deal!"

Doesn't do him any good, of course; you overtake him before the end of the block.

"Hi Shika bye Shika hi Chouji bye Chouji!"

"See you tomorrow, Ino!" Chouji calls. Shika just shakes his head.

You're at the park a full minute before Sasuke, who pants and rests his hands on his knees when he comes to a stop next to you.

"How often do you train?" he demands. "You're like a genin already."

"Excuse me! I am nothing like those mouth-breathers, thank you very much!" You stick out your chin, defiant.

Sasuke seems to be thrown by this unflattering view of Academy graduates. "But... aren't we all going to be genin eventually? That's why we go to the Academy and not the civilian school."

You snort. "Maybe for you just being a genin is a goal. My goal is to make me, Shika and Chouji the one genin cell that properly serves the public good. Do you know how many of these kids get paid to tend gardens without knowing how to identify weeds on sight? Or to do grocery shopping, and they just buy whatever brand they're most familiar with, instead of looking for the best deal?" Your voice quickly becomes heated as you rant. "And don't get me started on their babysitting abilities, because frankly if I had to list every time throughout my childhood a genin team tried to keep me from doing something fun just because it was less convenient for them than parking me in front of the tv, we would be here all day. There was one time I built a slide from my bedroom window to the backyard-"

"Oh my god, you're the Poisonous Blossom?!" Sasuke's eyes are wide as dinner plates. "I thought cousin Chihiro made you up to frighten Academy graduates! Hey, is it true the Demon-Cat of Potter's Grove lets you ride him because you made a blood sacrifice to him on Midsummer's Eve?"

"... we were having barbecue and I offered him some," you reply, somewhat nonplussed.

"None of the other kids are going to believe I met you," he says, sounding kind of disappointed all of a sudden.

Inspiration strikes you. "Sure they will!" You pull out a pen.

A moment later, Sasuke is examining your very fancy signature, complete with a maneki-neko doodle, written down the length of his forearm.

"Cool!" he exclaims. "Now I just have to make sure they see it before mom makes me have a bath. Thanks, Ino."

"No problem, Sakkun." You take a look around. "Wait. Weren't you supposed to go home with Shisui?"

Sasuke freezes. "Crap!"

"Hey, don't worry, I know how moms think," you say in a soothing tone. "Just go home now, make sure you get there before him, and tell her he said he wanted to give us time alone on our date. Aw, don't make that face," you add, "it doesn't have to be true, it just has to make Shisui look irresponsible and distract your mom. Which it will totally do, trust me."

"... you must be one of those bad influences nii-san told me about," Sasuke says thoughtfully.

You grin. "Why are you still here? Go, quick, before he tells her you're missing!"

And then you're alone in the park. Whistling, you stroll off down the street to your house.

The Poisonous Blossom, eh? I can live with that. >:3

----------

Over the next few months, aside from Shika and Chouji, you decide to hang out mostly with (pick one):

[X] Kiba

[X] Hinata

[X] Sasuke

... and throw most of your studying efforts into (pick two):

[X] Handseals

[X] Kunoichi Infi-hahahahahano

[X] Taijutsu

[X] Chakra Theory

[X] Beginners' Weaponry

[X] Trap-Making

In your remaining free time, you decide to (pick two):

[X] Get in some extra koto practice and bond with Mom.

[X] Try to invent some offensive tessenjutsu moves and bond with Menka.

[X] Take more naps and bond with [REDACTED]

[X] Work on elemental meditation and bond with:
-> [X] Fire
-> [X] Lightning

 

[X] Burning Down The House

It's harder to do this with someone watching.

You know it's just Menka, and you know it's just for your own safety, but still.

You stare at the heart of the campfire and try not to think about it.

You've never been this close to a large open flame before. There's a comforting reassurance to the way it dries out your eyes, makes them water, then dries them out again. Like the crackling of the logs can be echoed in you. It makes you feel sleepy and gives you a headache, but in a good way.

You pass a hand over the flames, and feel... things you've already felt before, honestly. You touch the smoke and you feel the Wind that feeds the flame; you try to catch the sparks that fly off the fire and you close your hand on a place where that Wind used to be.

It's a chemical reaction, you can't help but think. Without the Wind it can't live. So why is it considered an element?

Because, the answer comes, as you stretch your hands towards the flame, it is a treasure.

[embed=425,349]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=38q3_VejO6s[/embed]

The first thing mankind took from the world because we wanted it, not because we needed it.

"She's a con, Lupin."

XD "And what exactly are we? Look, we got the stones back, it's no big deal."

"And what about all the times we don't manage to get the loot back from her, huh?"

*shrug* "Just goes to show no matter how good you get there's still room for improvement."

-_- "You sure she didn't leave those rocks in your head?"

The hearth that gave us food beyond previous imagining.

"We're gonna see naked laaaaaadies~" : D

The power that pulled the sun into the night, so we could see.

"'Jigen-sama', is it?" ^-^

"She's lovely." .///.

The first treasure. The first magic trick.

"Ah! What a waste!"

"What? Forget the jewellery!"

"What on earth are you saying?!"

^__^ "Bein' with you like this is better."

The first thing we ever stole.

"Will you permit this humble thief... to steal you away?" :3

=

You look out across the darkened hills, and at the sky dusted with stars.

You turn the ignition, and the headlights spring to life, illuminating the road before you.

"Oh. So that's why," you say.

=

It's only when you go inside and Mom asks you what's wrong that you realize you've been crying.

=

[X] Sasuke

"He's incredibly stuck up, you know that, right?"

"What the hell are you talking about? So'm I, according to you."

"Meaning we've already filled our egomaniac quota. We don't need two."

"Y'know, if I didn't suspect you're going to grow up to be entirely asexual, I'd think you were jealous."

"Just don't turn into a fangirl, okay? I asked around, and every time there's an Uchiha in a class they attract a mob of girls who lose all sense the instant they step into the room."

XD "Not much chance of that; short, friendly and innocent isn't my type."

Thus concludes the first and last conversation you have with Shikamaru regarding your new friend's inclusion in the group.

Sasuke doesn't really get the point of cloud-watching, but he appreciates Chouji's way with desserts and right hook both. And he makes for a very enthusiastic ally in shoplifting excursions, bizarrely enough. He plays lookout, diversion and snatcher with giddy aplomb.

Preacher's daughter syndrome. If your internal commentator had a head, she'd (he'd?) nod authoritatively.

Sasuke also comes in handy, you find, when you want a scrap.

Try as you might (and you really do try, you try your hardest), you don't seem to really be making progress with your taijutsu. It's frustrating as hell; on the one hand, you easily win almost all your fights when sparring comes up, just because no one but Sasuke is anywhere close to being as fast as you, and no one can match your endurance but that one blond kid (who if he were any slower would be standing still).

On the other hand, because of this, you don't actually get any real practice in taijutsu itself, unless it's Sasuke you're fighting. You can go over the kata 'til you're blue in the face, but it isn't worth anything if you never get to put them properly into practice.

It isn't a detrimental problem (you don't really think you want to be a taijutsu type, especially now that you're top of your class in Trap-Making), but it's still a problem. And independent sparring with Sasuke is a pretty decent solution; he's really keen to improve his speed, and you're the only kid his age faster than him, so it works out beautifully.

It's walking home after one of these training sessions that you meet Sasuke's brother.

For the third time.

"Hey, Weasel, how've you been?" you ask cheerfully.

"Quite well, thank you, Yamanaka-san," he replies.

"Oh, pfft!" You wave off his formalities. "After what we've been through and you turning out to be Sakkun's ever-elusive 'nii-san', you can call me Ino."

"You know each other?" Sasuke asks, looking back and forth between you.

"I rescued a maiden from his wicked clutches and then later I tried to cure his melancholy with my feminine charms," you explain.

"Indeed," Itachi agrees. "Ino-san is most adept at soothing the raging soul of a hardened shinobi."

"Ararara~ but we shouldn't speak of such things in front of a child," you say with a feigned blush.

O.O "what."

=

"Mom, may I present Uchiha Sasuke? Sakkun, this is Yamanaka Takae, my mother. Sasuke is top of the class in taijutsu and has a very fine singing voice. Mom was a nationally-ranked koto player when she was younger and she's the foremost poison expert in Konohagakure."

You're a little on edge, introducing your Mom to an Uchiha (even a nice one); every second you're waiting for Sasuke to say the wrong thing. You're friends and everything, but you won't hesitate to pop him in the mouth to bring him back in line. No one talks down to Mom.

It goes well, though. He's obviously surprised that your mother's a civie, but apparently being a poison-brewer is enough for him to treat her with the same respect he'd give a ninja adult. Which... still means he doesn't use any suffixes, but you'll take what you can get.

Menka is wary around Sasuke at first, but warms up to him when it becomes apparent that he will happily play tag for literally hours uninterrupted, something you outgrew at age four. Menka doesn't speak in front of him, mindful of your dad's prohibition even now, but it doesn't seem to put a damper on Sasuke trying to include him in the conversation anyway.

"Cats are really smart," is all he'll say about it when asked. "Even the ones that don't talk."

[X] Take more naps and bond with [REDACTED]

It really isn't fair, you find yourself reflecting, that you're only allowed to marry one person. If you could work your will, you'd marry whoever you want.

Specifically, you'd marry Goemon-san and this absolutely ravishing lady who's just taken up residence in your head.

Never mind that they aren't real (or at least, not real the way other people are real), you'll find a way.

Everything about her is gorgeous; lustrous hair, a figure to kill for, full, sensuous lips, and eyes that burn a hole through you when she looks your way. No matter what she wears, she always looks fantastic, and she's the centre of any room she walks into.

Oh, but it gets better. She's an infiltration expert; governess, lady's maid, elite tutor, private secretary, her resume is stocked with experience and references from some of the most wealthy and respectable people in the world. No one ever questions her presence, not even other women (whom you've noticed have a tendency to be more suspicious of one another than guys are), and when she takes them for everything they have, someone else inevitably gets the blame.

And when she's not undercover, woohoo baby. She has these special guns that fit right in one hand and fire repeatedly without needing to reload, and she's not afraid to use them. One of them, a bigger one, can spray a whole room full of bullets in the time it takes the average chuunin to shit his pants in terror. And those motorcycles she rides! They're like Tora on wheels!

Her name is Mine Fujiko, and you are terribly torn between wanting her, and wanting to be her.

=

Every now and then, you like to walk home from school by yourself, instead of with the guys. It gives you time to think, decompress from the long school day, and-

"Hello, Ami."

- get ambushed by fangirls, apparently. -_-

The purple-haired girl, or Ami, as you've recently learned she's called, scowls as she steps out from behind the tree. "Think you're pretty clever with that sensing, don't you, neko-buta?"

"Not really," you reply. "I think I'm pretty clever with my actual, consistently-demonstrated cleverness."

"You little freak," Ami says, shaking her head in disgust. "I don't know what you did to Sasuke-kun to force him to go out with you, but you're going to stop it right now."

Huh. And to think, you thought this was going to be boring. "All right, now I'm curious; what, exactly, makes you think I did something to Sakkun?"

"His name is Sasuke!" she roars impotently. "And you must have done something! Sasuke-kun doesn't talk to any girls except you!"

"... he talked to Hinata-chan yesterday morning," you say, incredulous. Is this the 'fangirl logic' Shika-chan's warned you about from time to time?

She steps forward, looming over you with her extra three inches. "You think I don't see what you're doing? The way you ignore all the girls and only have boyfriends, the way you talk like a boy like you think it's cool, the way you always try to make him laugh?"

Wow, she is really working herself up into a fine lather, here.

"You're pathetic," Ami declares. "A shabby little tomboy from a nothing little clan, trying to get close to Sasuke-kun to improve your station in life. If you try to leech off of him any more, I'll make you regret the day you were born."

[X] Troll route. "Not as much as you're going to regret that shirt when you look back at pictures of yourself, I assure you. Yikes."

[X] Fujiko route. "Ara, and what do you suppose Sakkun will think of you when he asks me why I'm avoiding him, and I tell him the truth?"

[X] Write-in.

 

[X] "Ara, and what do you suppose Sakkun will think of you when he asks me why I'm avoiding him, and I tell him the truth?"


You are Kuwabara Ami, and you are a daring heroine fighting to save your beloved prince from a creepy little witch who's seduced him.

"He'll be mad at first, but when he finds out how awful you are he'll be glad he has a real friend looking out for him!" you say defiantly.

Fuki-chan says you're just getting carried away (the 'like you always do' is left unsaid), but you know what you know. You've read Icha Icha Paradise cover to cover three times (it's one of the only books your dad owns) and you know how bad girls make boys like them.

First they start in with the physical violence to see if the boy's tough enough to be worth dating, then they tease them and hug them and act like they wanna be friends and cast magic spells on their pants, and then they do naked stuff with them. And then the naked stuff makes the boy love them.

You grit your teeth. Sasuke is supposed to love you; the prince always falls in love with the pretty servant girl and takes her away to his castle. That's how it works.

It took three months of running errands for Mori-san and washing dishes at Jeshika-sama's restaurant, but it was all worth it when you could finally afford your Academy textbooks. That was the deal you and dad made; you pay your own way, and you can train to be a kunoichi instead of going into the family business.

"Don't see what the difference is," he muttered as you shook hands.

I'll make you see the difference.

The day you first set foot in the Konoha Ninja Academy was the happiest of your life, and not just because it was the first day you laid eyes on the Uchiha prince.

That was the day you learned how to hit back.

And now a clan heiress, someone who's never had to work a day in her life, someone who's always going to have two surrogate brothers to protect her from all harm, someone who already has everything... wants to have Sasuke too.

You don't give two shits out a whore's anus that she's won every fight you've seen her have that wasn't against your prince. This bitch is going down.

You're scared, sure. Who wouldn't be? And it's because she wins fights, not because she talks like your dad's friends and dresses like them and gives you that same look like you're part of the furniture...

"Oh my," the witch replies, putting a hand to her mouth. "I had no idea you two were so close. I'm so sorry; please know I had no intention of interfering with any preexisting understanding you had with Sakkun."

You blink. Okay... you weren't expecting her to be this reasonable. Maybe this wasn't such a suicidal idea. You don't know why she's talking like that, though; in a way it's even creepier than hearing her talk like a hoodlum.

"Glad we've got that cleared up," you say, turning to go, thanking every god you know of that you didn't actually have to fight her.

"I have a question," Ino says, and you tense up despite yourself.

"What is it?"

You can practically hear her smile. "Why does Sakkun like tomatoes so much? I've always wondered and he won't tell me. He'll say only that it's something personal between him and his mother."

... Sasuke likes tomatoes? Involuntarily, your mind runs through all the recipes you know with tomatoes in them. A good wife is a good cook, after all.

"I don't know," you're forced to admit.

"Oh." She sounds genuinely disappointed. "Well, perhaps you could tell me something else, then; his birthday's in a couple of days and I was wondering what to get him. I thought maybe a pair of gloves - he's always training, after all, and there's only so many times you can punch a post before it gives you a wicked splinter. But then he mentioned the other day that he doesn't like wrapping his hands because it makes it harder for him to make a proper fist, so maybe gloves would have the same problem. Has he mentioned to you what he wants for his birthday?"

"... no," you grind out.

"I see."

Fuck her. Fuck her forever and fuck her stupid voice that sounds like she's laughing at everything and fuck your stupid weak eyes for tearing up.

A hand comes down on your shoulder, and you turn to look into the stupid smug face of Yamanaka Ino.

"I guess neither of us know Sakkun well enough to be his girlfriend."

[X] Explode. Let the bitch have it.

[X] Cry. Why? Why can't anything ever be easy for you, ever?

[X] Run. Run home and pretend this never happened.

 

[X] AMI SMASH PUNY THIEF GIRL!

The punch is easily avoided, but you still wince. That look on her face...

You were expecting anger, of course (that was kinda the goal), but Ami's expression... and the scream in her chakra, like a bow wrenched across three strings at once...

This... might be about more than just Sasuke.

"Drop dead, you whore!" she shouts. "So what if you know more about Sasuke than I do? I'd rather know nothing about him than trick him into being my friend like you did!"

"Again, where was there a trick?" You're getting a bit indignant, despite yourself. "If you want to be his friend, talk to the guy. Talk to him about stuff both of you like. That's all I did."

"Liar!"

Oh. Oh, fuck, she's crying. D: What do you do what do you do? Usually tears mean hugs, but these are like, rage-tears, what do you do with rage-tears? And she's still trying to hit you. Fuck! Why are girls so fucking complicated?!

"It's the truth!" you insist. You toy with the idea of just grabbing her wrists and shaking the stupid out of her, but from the look of things she really needs to let off some steam and go at her own pace for a bit.

"What is it that you think I did, exactly?" you ask her.

"YOU STOLE HIS VIRGINITY!" >: <

For a moment the only sound is Ami panting and trying to get her tears under control.

Finally, you say...

[X] "... wait, how do you steal virginity? If you take it from someone else, then you've had sex, and logically, you can't be a virgin anymore, so you don't even have your own virginity, let alone anyone else's."

[X] "Dude. Ew. We're six. Reproductive organs don't start working until puberty; Sakkun and I couldn't have sex if we wanted to. Plus did I mention we are six and ew?!"

[X] "All right, this has gone on far enough. Get this through your head: Sakkun is my friend, who is a boy, but I am not his girlfriend. Sakkun doesn't even like girls yet!" If he ever will; you have your suspicions...

 

[X] "Dude. Ew. We're six. Reproductive organs don't start working until puberty; Sakkun and I couldn't have sex if we wanted to. Plus did I mention we are six and ew?!"

"What do you mean, 'ew'?! Sasuke-kun is not gross!" She seems to find the very idea blasphemous.

You roll your eyes. "Ami, I've seen him eat his scabs. Cute or not, he's a boy, and boys are all at least a little gross."

She makes a face. "That's disgusting! Sasuke-kun wouldn't do that!"

-_-; "I've been tryin' to get him to stop, but it just makes him do it more 'cause he knows it grosses me out."

"Now you're just trying to make me hate him so you can have him to yourself!"

Dear god, but you're gettin' tired of this shit. "Yare yare. Why does this matter so much to you? We're all way too young to be dating. Can't you just enjoy being a kid?"

"I'm not like you, neko-buta," Ami says scornfully. "I'm not some little girl who has everything handed to her. You can keep your grades, and your mind-control powers, and your perfect little family-" she stabs a finger at you vehemently, "- but you aren't getting Sasuke-kun. Not without a fight."

[X] Accept rival mode
-> [X] in a cool and hip manner
-> [X] in the hammiest possible way

[X] Decline rival mode
-> [X] by declaring it incredibly stupid to fight over a boy. You have your pride as a woman, and so should Ami!
-> [X] by offering to help set her up with Sasuke.
-> [X] by telling her something rather personal. Fair trade for the moment of weakness you got to see earlier.

 

[X] Decline rival mode
-> [X] by telling her something rather personal. Fair trade for the moment of weakness you got to see earlier.

"This is insane!" You have a habit of talking with your hands (a side-effect of taking Nyango lessons with no whiskers or tail), and it tends to get more pronounced the more agitated you get. At the moment, you're talking with your arms.

"I'm not after Sasuke! He's my friend and that's it!"

You aren't sure why you started yelling. All you know is that this whole line of conversation... bothers you, for some reason. The longer it goes on, the less funny it gets. At first you were just annoyed with Ami's threats and posturing, but...

"Why should I believe you?" Ami demands. "He's the nicest, handsomest boy in class, and he likes you."

A breeze drifts by, carrying with it the scent of roses and well-oiled steel and incense, his clothes always reeked of it after one of those pilgrimages and my god, her perfume...

"Because I'm in love with someone else!" you yell.

Oh.

Oh no.

Ami looks floored. Whatever she expected you to say, it wasn't that.

Some Yamanaka I turned out to be, you think miserably. Maybe there're some people in Kiri who didn't hear that, but I doubt it.

"... who?"

You give her a hard look. This is really, seriously, none of her fucking business.

But...

You sigh.

The damage is done. If you clam up now, she'll just say you were lying, and... you're not sure what you'd do to her if she said that.

"If I tell you," you say, voice low to keep it steady, "you can never tell anyone else. Just like I won't tell anyone you cried in front of me." You look her dead in the eye. "Okay?"

She looks you over, as if trying to decide if this is a setup to another joke. She must be satisfied by what she sees, because she finally says, "... okay."

The two of you find a bench, and sit down. Taking a deep breath, you try to figure out where to begin. You can't tell her about the lady; you don't think you're ever going to be ready to tell anyone about her. That pain is... complicated. Besides, Ami's not the kind of girl who'd get it, you don't think.

So. Instead of ripping your heart out of your chest, you opt to give the little chick a full-body x-ray instead.

You tell her about the Man with the Sword.

Half-remembered dreams trickle down from your mind and spill out your mouth. You tell her how his hair falls in his face when he sleeps sitting up, how noble and stalwart he looks when he's serious about something important, and how beautiful he can look on rare occasions when he really smiles and the slight bags under his eyes crinkle up.

He wanders the world with his companions, like one of the Sannin; his village gave him a mission to kill one of them, but he refused out of friendship, and his Kage, having no jounin strong enough to bring him down, was forced to accept the man's decision. Now, though loyal, he is free, and his sword is dedicated to the defense of his dearest comrades.

You tell her how he doesn't make jokes often, but when he does you can't help but grin at his dry delivery. Blushing slightly, you confide that when he laughs, your heart sings.

You talk about how he seems to have an infinite store of bizarre, old-fashioned skills, and how he dresses and talks like an old-timer even though no one around him does, and that he doesn't seem bothered by any of this at all.

"That's why I dress the way I do," you admit, plucking wistfully at the sleeve of your haori. "Even if he's... not real, or if he's a ghost... at least this way I can feel close to him, somehow." You laugh, embarrassed. "It's silly, but I almost hope that if, by some strange miracle, I do meet him... he'll know me, if I'm dressed like this."

Ami doesn't say anything, and you go on.

You tell her about how he's a perfect gentleman - a little too perfect, in your opinion; he's so solemn! He needs a lady who'll muss up his hair and get him to relax. And hopefully not scam him - he has terrible luck with women because he's a little bit naïve about them. ^__^;

You tell her about the sword. You tell her of the man's grand boast: "With this sword, and my skill, there is nothing in this world I cannot cut." You describe how the blade comes alive in his hands, dancing with a precision and speed unmatched by any fighter you've ever seen in the waking world. How with the slightest and fastest of movements, he can block every kunai, shuriken, bullet, arrow that comes his way, beating down a storm of metal like it's nothing. How you have seen him cleave in two a flying monster of steel, the size of a city. How it's only when sword and man are together that they seem complete.

You don't tell her that you're sure, if he truly fell in love, he'd be the same way about his lady.

"... I don't know what else to tell you," you say finally, smiling bitterly. "It's kind of funny, really. I sort of envy you." Ami flinches at this, but you continue regardless: "The one you care about is right in front of you; all you have to do is win his heart." You look up at the sky. "My 'handsome prince' is someone I'll never see when I'm awake, and I'll never be able to speak to when I'm asleep. I'll never even have a chance to have a chance with him."

You fall silent, and wait for her to laugh at you.

=

You are Kuwabara Ami, and you have vanquished the witch.

... you thought you'd be happier about it.

If she didn't just make this whole thing up (and given all of... that, you really doubt she did)... she isn't really much of a witch at all.

Oh, she's still a freak, and still kind of a bitch. But...

"I don't accept your envy," you say, crossing your arms.

She smiles crookedly. "Okay. Don't."

"But..." you add, "... I accept your friendship with Sasuke-kun - provided it stays a friendship." Dad may be a prick, but he didn't raise a sucker.

You stand, and stick out your hand. "And I'll help you find your prince. Deal?"

A world where a girl sees her true love only in dreams, never to hold him... that's too cruel. You cannot forgive it. You will not permit it.

Yamanaka Ino blinks at you in surprise and laughs, but not in a mean-spirited way. She slips her hand into yours; its callouses lend a weight to her firm handshake. "Deal."

You are Kuwabara Ami, and you have just accepted a quest to free a fellow princess from a terrible curse.

=

The next day at school, Sagara-sensei calls you into his office at lunch.

"I hear you wrote the principal about skipping a grade," he says with no preamble. That's Sagara-sensei for you; always right to the point.

"Just in the normal classes," you say, "not the shinobi ones."

He shrugs. "Either way, it's all at the discretion of your teachers in each course. Which is why I called you in here. I've recommended to the principal and your father that you be moved to my second-year taijutsu class."

You blink. "But... I suck at taijutsu."

"No, Ino, Shikamaru sucks at taijutsu. You are just stuck in a rut." Your teacher gestures at the kids playing outside. "The other students are benefiting from having you as a challenge to overcome, but you aren't learning anything worthwhile because no one but Sasuke can even touch you once you get going. Sparring with the older kids will let you reach your full potential."

[X] Join the second-year taijutsu class

[X] Thank Sagara-sensei for his interest, but say you don't intend to be a taijutsu-focused fighter and you'd rather stick with your friends.